01x03 - Still in School

[bunniefuu]

Sofia shut the hell up where they learn

to talk like that I bought my own room

sure thing sweetie really yeah aside so

kind of be a relief to finally pull that

extra wing of the house out of my butt

why don't we just buy a new help Judy

roll up your sleeves you're gonna have

to get the million bucks out to how come

Brian gets his own room cuz I'm a man

then how come you still sleep with a

stuffed rabbit you sleep with a pillow

named Dawson both you shut up I have an

announcement to make that will take care

of all of this your mom and I are gonna

start making out in five four three

works every time

[Music]

[Applause]

oh my god this year [ __ ] is a vital is

that cute skinny guy standing with mom

well that's your father what happened

hey help me some slack about three kids

I'm gonna get to the reunion early

enough so that people don't see me

getting out of guilt car I got an idea

why it's just ride there with your

husband Oh Aunt Linda I thought you were

young at the mom and dad how come you

were in the same class with them because

I graduated early honey I was an

accelerated learner hey see you're here

with the glasses the acne the bad perm

not a lot of pesky dates to get in the

way of studying you're wearing oh no I'm

somebody let me see Wow I'm pretty sure

those two didn't go to high school with

you have to know I'm wearing a water bra

what's a water bra it's a very cruel

trick so you can go eat your dinner

before your father opens his mouth more

words commit now when you're at the

Reunion remember you don't have to drink

to be cool yes we do have you ever seen

your father dance

wait a minute I know what those are

about Steve Upton whoops you still have

two hot receive Upton oh please no I

haven't thought about that guy for years

disqus we dated for three weeks he made

me feel special enough to go with that

extra base and then the next day dropped

me like a five-dollar horror we didn't

let things go I mean it's not just

because of Steve you know the perfect

girls are gonna be there Carla russell

jane hamilton oh let's not forget

Christy Dunstan Linda why are you

worried about them just cuz they were

perfect in high school doesn't mean

they're perfect now everybody has their

time you're right trust me people like

Christy Duncan peak early life has a way

of even and things out you think about

these things way too much it's different

for guys in a reunion not about who's

successful or who still looks good what

really matters is who has the hottest

life wouldn't k*ll you to open the

upstairs shades a little i sell toilets

for God's sakes

this really takes me back remember when

we had our junior prom here yeah you

know you still owe me a little something

from that problem yeah what's that 3754

half limo I think you got a little more

than 37 50 worth of loving that night

yeah the buck a second technique not

right hey you know when you have breasts

like these you don't have to pay for

drinks the drinks are free any spotted

Steve Austin yeah mom it's just as well

now you can relax yeah you know what

drink I don't even want to see him I'm

care oh my god your shoes ry postseason

judy judy look this jenny berg oh great

bo Bergner step behind him in chemistry

he raised his hand why I hate that guy

before he transferred to our school I

was the hot dog eating champion suddenly

I was just another guy who got a 32 hot

dogs in one city excuse me I have some

unfinished business to attend to so now

that we've caught up I

I hear the pancake breakfast tomorrow is

all you can eat oh you can eat for all I

can do I smell a challenge or did you

just raise your hand the only thing I

smell around here is oh yeah well i got

fifty bucks an elastic waistband that

says i can eat more pancakes than you

bring it on no I do smell chicken you

want to try and find it sure Judy

Michael Christy Duncan you will pray

jinx wow you remember of course I do I

would not well that we didn't hang out I

mean you were always cool kids and I

wasn't exactly part of that crowd except

for the time that I brought the vodka

watermelon to school oh yeah Tulsa bring

the rum pineapple to school I drank a

lot of fruit back then so what have you

been up too much Oh remember the guy

graduation who mooned everyone when he

went up to get his diploma yeah what

happened to that idiot I married him

through the window yep three kids meet

you you know what this is so great to

hang out and get to know each other not

like in high school we were more

concerned about who was more popular or

who hung out with yeah that was so

stupid I mean look at us here we are now

just a couple of working moms least how

are you paying the bill I'm an architect

just finished designing an airport in

Hong Kong how about you I'm a dental

assistant how do you clean teeth no I

help the person who cleans teeth which

is a pretty big job because you know the

dentist can't pull any teeth unless you

can find his goggles and that's where I

come in

Linda hey Steve option gosh what brings

you here it's a reunion yeah great guy

and we graduated together I completely

forgot you hello dude a lot more and

graduate together we went out oh yeah

yeah I fig leaf remember that you know I

can't remember for the life of me why we

broke up gosh neither can I so I guess

technically we have it well I guess hey

you know that's assuming that after 20

years I'm still available oh I'm sorry I

didn't mean I'm available we know it so

happens it leaves the kids hold her

adorable where was that taken it was in

Paris we spent the summer there while I

was building this opera house um here we

are in Italy Japan no we're more water

park people we only went there because

my husband were sh**ting some idiotic

commercial here's my husband oh my god

Judy do you know what this guy does he

directed my favorite beer commercial

soon as my husband Trent Trent Judy

Miller very nice hi that looks so great

to see you how you do it Judy they got a

whole bunch of shrimp here did you bring

a big purse

oh we don't need to take home food we

can afford our own shrimp he didn't

bring the big first just tell me so bill

what do you do for a living bill for

sale always designer fixtures mostly

toilets hey you sell beer I sell toilets

between the two of us we got I'm coming

and going I can't believe your sister

went home with Steve Upton Wiggly finds

out second base is under water whatever

I'm glad it's over so what do you say we

do it like it's 1982 no I'm tired so

sleep I'll be quiet tonight bill is that

a yes no all right we could have been

done already can you believe that stupid

Christy Duncan she seemed nice nice I

build airports I bro their reports look

big about that well they are airports I

mean what's bigger than that besides her

fat ass medicine would bother me that's

the spirit honey good night it's not

sure why should you get everything she

wants I thought you weren't gonna let

all this reunion stuff get to you I know

but if your life is perfect in high

school it's not supposed to be perfect

now Jimmy forget about Christy you're

gorgeous you're smart you got a great

life well I haven't exactly with the

world on fire who cares if Christy build

airports you have a great marriage three

wonderful kids and a beautiful house

that's paid for the minute I die get

some sleep we got a big day tomorrow you

know what bill I don't want to go to the

pancake breakfast I've had enough for

you and you

okay now your second the same way to

ceilings we've got to go to the

breakfast I've got a title to defend and

just let up for one more conversation

with Christie Duncan while she's

standing there and her designer outfit

with her perfect family and I'm standing

there with my discount dress in the

pancake king no offense no I get it what

if i told you that Christie's life isn't

as perfect as you think what do you mean

well you can't tell anybody this but I

was in the bathroom I overheard her

husband on the phone I think he's having

an affair really oh you must have been

mistaken he was talking to a woman and

said he really had to see her if he

could get away we could have been

talking to anyone he could have been

talking to his mother well then he told

his mother to wear a sexy blue thong

either way he's got problems our

husbands having an affair this is so

great I know it wasn't for time for

stupid Christie or life's a mess did you

just tackle yeah they still want to fool

around no no I've never done it with

evil Judy please don't your wii u JH i

don't know why i have to be because

honey blah blah blah blah blah what

you're staying do the words really

matter anymore

so while I'm here I wonder if I could

maybe sneak into the library do little

research for my site reform keep it down

so as people here but still think I'm

cool I'm gonna go look for Linda you

keep an eye on Tina find Tina do

something for daddy take this fork and

poke people in the legs so they get me a

spot at the front of the pancake bill

Jerry hungry maybe a little these plates

really hot Barry hey guys hey hey I

guess what Christy Duncan's husband is

having an affair everyone's talking

about it what so what happened last

night a lady doesn't kiss encounter

honey and lady doesn't wear last night's

cocktail dress to a pancake breath

okay you know my top 10 things I want in

a guy checklist steve has altima and

number seven was checked three times

Judy can I talk to you tell anyone when

I told you last night about Christy

Duggan no no one well Terry bolded

called this morning and asked me if I

was bringing the kids and I may have let

it slip but I told him not to tell

anyone ah good as long as you only told

big mouth bold about everyone's talking

about well I didn't think she'd say

anything this is terrible then again

maybe it's just as well you know if that

jerk is cheating on her she's better off

knowing about it she might not be better

off why not bill her husband's having an

affair right yeah yeah yeah no I made it

up I can't believe you didn't know what

else to do you were feeling bad feel

better when I lie a lot

I can't believe me I have to you were

talking about not coming in a pancake

breakfast you lied about a woman's

husband cheating on us just so you could

get pancakes I didn't just want pancakes

I also wanted sex you have to find who's

ever talking about this and tell him

it's not true nice to go apologize to

chris see why she prolly ain't heard the

rumor just my hurts still out there we

have to make this right all right I'll

do it but I'm burning calories I haven't

even eaten yet you know what I have an

idea later let's go back to your place

we'll light a fire pour some wine put on

some Beadle oh that sounds great except

something other than the Beatles I don't

like them whatever there's be you and me

and number seven what so Christie

Duncan's husband isn't having an affair

guys think about it Christie's a

beautiful intelligent woman what's more

likely her husband's actually cheating

on her or somebody at the Reunion made

up the rumor because they were jealous

that what you think happened course

doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure

that out I am a brain surgeon really let

me ask you a medical question when you

chug a milkshake how come you get that

pain in your head let me ask you a

medical question why are you chugging

milk shakes

so what makes you so sure that someone

started the rumor I know Christie's

husband she doesn't have to worry about

him with other women he's just not the

type hmm i get with good and pass it

around top of the night Miller steps up

to the plate a butter burger bun Oh

Miller you got some catching up to do 19

and counting Megan uneven 28 guess what

just overheard someone say Christy

dunand gay hey Christy hi Judy so I

guess you've heard the rumor that's

floating around yes I have and I know

it's not true well horse you know it's

not true you probably know that better

than anyone else here what why do you

say that because you know how petty

people can be when they think someone's

life is better than theirs they're ours

trying to drag people like us down yeah

well sometimes people people like that

yeah you know the people who have it all

together yeah do you think I have it all

together your life great you mean Ben

would bill forever and you're obviously

so happy together you look even better

than you did in high school not three

kiss you adore are you to you yeah there

somewhere what else do you want to know

about yeah there's just one thing up you

know what you said you didn't like

beetles don't did you mean you don't

like them or you know they're not your

favorite no I just don't like them cuz

you know they have like a hundred hit

these husband not gay test it on your

skin looks so great you use something

special on it well I've had a lot of

baby foods thrown at my face oh great

your grace is great I'm so happy for you

Christy I am so flattered that you think

my life is so great but you know what I

know started the rumor and I feel really

bad about it of course you feel bad

about it you're a good person not like

the jealous petty loser who started the

rumor who was it

feel yellow submarine a hard day's night

kept on e love piano man what about

piano man oh yeah I like that that's

really freaking Joel wait a minute now i

remember why we broke up you do yeah we

were at that burger joint and i ordered

my burger plane you know because that's

the way i like it but you wouldn't let

it go for the next two days you grilled

me about condiments join Iman dry meat

bread who eats that I do oh come on can

you prick I mean tell me there's more

condiment your ketchup mustard

groundless you know what you're crazy I

gotta go oh yeah yeah yeah okay yes you

hate the world

hey well I stopped the affair not

doesn't matter I hear he's G anyway

that's for you nothing I feel great you

do yeah Krista Duncan just spent a half

hour telling me how great my life is why

she say well she thinks have a wonderful

marriage and terrific kids and she went

on and on about my skin so let me get

this straight when Christie Duncan says

the exact same thing I told you last

night you feel all better what's your

problem the problem is when I say it

should mean something oh please you just

said those things to shut me up no i

didn't i said them cuz they're true look

around Judy I had a shot with every

woman in this room in my mind but I

chose you I still gotta chill when I

remember our first time we looked into

my eyes at those three magical words

what the hell course I do do you mean it

mean it or just I want pancakes mean it

why can't it be both man that reunions

suck actually ended up having a pretty

good time oh sure you feel better about

your life by the time I got to the front

of the line there were no more pancakes

hey bill will you give me my keys out of

my purse why do I have to do do it oh

okay and they're still warm I love you

are you talking to me or the pancakes

well I can't it be both

[Music]

I wouldn't have it any other way cuz it

Maxie