05x10 - Fair Exchange

[bunniefuu]

(dramatic music)

[Announcer] Robert Young

and Jane Wyatt

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin,

in Father Knows Best.

- No, honest, Patty.

Betty's bringin' homea real live Indian girl

to spend the weekend with us.

Huh?

Well, I don't know what tribe she's from.

OK, don't believe me.

I don't care.

Goodbye.

That Patty.

She's jealous because they don't have an Indian

coming to visit them.

I'm not even gonna let Patty peek at 'er.

- Well, Mom won't letyou peek at 'er either,

unless you hurry up andchange your clothes.

- Yeah, I better get ready.

Wait'l you see what I'm gonna wear.

- [Margaret] Bud? Bud?

- Yes.

- Bud, I've told you a hundred times

to put this away.

I want our house tolook neat for our guest.

Oh, your collar's turned up.

- Oh, Mom, it'ssupposed to be that way.

- But it doesn't look neat.

Don't you wanna make a good impression

on our visitor from India?

- [Jim] Margaret?

- Well, sure I do,

but I don't want her to think America's full of squares.

(laughter)

- Where do you want this?

- Oh, on the table by the window.

- A guy shouldn't have to get dressed up

on Saturday morning anyway.

Where'd Betty get this idea of inviting

an Indian college girl for the weekend?

- Well, it wasn't Betty's idea,

it was the college's.

- She's an exchange student.

While she's in our country,

they want her to learn American customs

and American home life,

as well as what's in school books.

- You mean, she's gonnalearn American home life

from us?

(laughter)

- You know, that is a disturbing thought.

Two days with you and Kathy's liable

to set internationalrelations back years.

(laughter)

- Oh, Bud, your jacket.

Will you please, please,hang up your things?

- [Bud] Well, yeah, sure.

- [Margaret] Well, goodness sake.

Who dragged that blackboard in here?

- I didn't.

That belongs to Kathy.

- OK, I'm ready.

(ululating) (laughter)

How do you like it?

This oughta make her feel at home, huh?

- Man, how stupid can you be?

You got the wrong kind of Indian.

She's not a (ululating) Indian,

she's an Indian Indian,

from India.

(laughter)

You know the kind that sit around on board full of nails

and play the flute with the cobra coming out of a basket?

- Oh, that kind.

(laughter)

- [Margaret] Oh, she doesn't do that.

- Will she be wearing a shawl on her head?

And a water bucket on her shoulders?

- I doubt very much she should be carrying

a water bucket.

Now hurry upstairs andtake off those feathers.

Then come down and put that blackboard away.

- OK.

Say, what's this girl's name?

- Not sure how you pronounce it.

Chanthini Rajkumari, I think.

Now hurry.

- Do you think she'll be able to do the rope trick?

- What rope trick?

- You know, the one where they throw the rope

up in the air and it stays there?

Then they climb up it

and then pull it up after them and disappear.

- They can do that?

- [Margaret] Now, look.

She's not a magician.

She's a very nice, respectable college student.

(horn honking)

- Hey, there's the car.

- They're drivin' in the driveway.

- Margaret!

Betty and her friend are here.

- Whoa, now wait.

Don't go rushing out there like little savages.

I want you to be polite, considerate, and helpful,

so she'll take back to India

a nice impression of American families.

We have quite a responsibility.

You understand that?

Bud, will you pick up your things?

(laughter)

- Margaret!

- [Margaret] Yes, I'm coming.

(wistful music)

(upbeat music)

- Well, how do you do?

Oh, I'm afraid you caught me in my apron.

(laughter)

Hey, let me take that.

- Here, take this, too.- [Jim] All right.

- Chanthini, I want you to meet my father.

- [Chanthini] Oh, yes, I'm looking forward to it.

(laughter)

- Well, he's right here.

- Oh? Where?

(laughter)

- Right here.

This is father.

(laughter)

- Oh, please forgive me.

I thought he,

well, that,

oh, dear,

how do you do?

- How do you do, Chanthini?

- Fine impression you made, father.

She thought you were our servant.

(laughter)

- Oh, no, no, really.

No, it's just that,

well, in my country,

the husband does not do the...

- I know, the kitchen work.

Believe you people have the right idea.

(laughter)

Where do you want these, Betty?

In your bedroom?

- Oh, yes, please. - [Jim] Mm-hmm.

Oh.

- Oh, mother, this is Chanthini.

- Oh, hello, Chanthini.

We're so happy you're gonna visit with us.

We've been looking forward to this very very...

- Wow, what are you made up for?

- Oh, Kathy.

- I forgot.

- Well, Chanthini,

you might as well see what you're going

to have to put up with.

This is Kathy and this is Bud.

- How do you do?

- Hello.

(laughter)

- Gee, you don't look like I thought you would.

You're dressed just like an American.

- Well, naturally.

What did you expect?

A leopard-skin sarong?

(laughter)

C'mon, Chanthini, I'll show you my room.

- Yes, you run along.

I'll fix some tea.

- Tea?

- I should make.

After all, India's where most of our tea comes from.

- [Jim] Say, there's a very pretty girl.

- She's beautiful.

And I wish I could saythe same for these two.

(laughter)

Fine looking pair you made,

feathers and football.

- [Jim] Wait 'til you hear the kind of impression

I made on her.

She thought I worked here.

- Oh, fine.

- Which proves again that husbands

should never be made to do the dishes.

I may move to India.

(laughter)

- Put this on the stove, would you dear?

(laughter)

- Bad impression.

What do you mean you made a bad impresion?

- Oh, but I did.

I saw it in their faces.

I am so embarrassed.

- You have no reason to be.

- Oh, yes. Your father will never forgive me

for mistaking him for a servant.

- Well, he doesn't care about that.

He just thought it was a good joke.

- What he must think of me.

And your brotherand sister, too.

They were both disappointed when they saw me.

- Now, how could you get a ridiculous idea like that?

- Their faces told me.

I tried to dress as the American girl

so I would not be conspicuous,

but there I madeanother mistake.

- Oh, now stop it, Chanthini.

Nobody cares what you wear or how you talk.

Hey, wait, I have an idea.

Just for the fun of it and for Kathy,

why don't you put on one of those, oh...

- A sari. - [Betty] A sari,

or, do you have a long?

- Oh, yes, of course,

one always has her saris.

- Well, let's do it, then.

- All right.

- Sure, Ed.

I realize it's pretty late to ask

you to do this,

but with your pull and charm, I'm sure you can do it.

Well, try, Ed.

This is forinternational good will,

so do your best.

I'll be down to pick them up.

Goodbye.

- Well, go down and pick what up?

- Tickets for the biguniversity football game

this afternoon.

I just thought that would be something

real colorful and real American to take Chanthini to.

- [Margaret] Oh, yes, it would be.

- I just hope I can get them.

- Now don't get your hopes up too high, Kathy.

This might not be the right kind of rope

for the trick.

(laughter)

- Well, I'm not sure she's a real Indian, either.

She doesn't dress like one.

- Oh, wait a minute.

What's with this rope?

- Well, we're gonna ask Chanthini

to do the climbing trick.

- You'll do no such thing.

Now you take it right back.

- Stop, don't anyone move.

Now I want you tourists to try and control yourselves.

No autographs, please,

and no cameras.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Princess Chanthini Rajkamuri.

- [All] Ooh, Aah. Wow.

- Oh, that's lovely.

- Is this more like it, Kathy?

- Yeah, that's it, boy.

She's real.

Give her the rope, Bud.

- [Margaret] Kathy.

- Give her the rope.

What kind of talk is that?

- We were wondering about the rope trick.

- The rope trick?

- Yeah, you know the one where you

throw the rope up in the air

and climb up after it and disappear.

- Oh, that sounds like a marvelous trick.

How do you do it?

(laughter)

- How I do it?

(kettle whistling)

- Oh, dear, there's my tea kettle.

Will you excuse me?

You do drink tea, don't you?

- Oh, yes, I do. Thank you.

- Well, come on.

Let's go in and sit down, Chanthini,

and I'll start giving you the bedrock fundamentals

of domestic life in the United States.

(mystical music)

(laughter)

Now the first think you learn about American home life is,

oh, dear.

(laughter)

The first thing you learn

is that you have to go 'round picking up

after your brother.

(laughter)

- What's that little reddot on your forehead?

- And the second thing you'll learn

is that little sisters are very snoopy.

- Oh, that's all right.

This, Kathy, is called a Tika.

- [Kathy] Teacup?

(laughter)

- No, Ti-ka.

- How do you spell that?

- T-I-K-A.

Many years in the past, the tika had

a religious significance,

but it is now merely a beauty mark.

- What kind of materialis this in your dress?

- That's not a dress, Kathy,

that's a sari.

- How do you spell that?

- S-A-R-I.

- Is this the latest style in India?

(laughter)

- Latest style?

I'm afraid we do not think in terms of the latest style.

This is the way the sari has always been.

It does not change.

- Well, you're lucky.

With us, everything changes,

practically daily.

Our hemlines go up and down like a nervous elevator.

(laughter)

- How do you keep the sari on?

I don't see any buttons or zippers.

- No, you are right.

There are no buttons, no zippers, no hooks.

You see?

We just wrap it around.

- Well, what if it falls off?

- [Chanthini] It never has yet.

- Well, pretty risky.

(laughter)

What do you call those, sandals?

- Oh, these are called Mohadi.

- How do you spell that?

- Oh, Kathy, give up,

stop bothering her.

- She's not bothering me.

She has intellectual curiosity.

- Well, I don't know about the intellectual part.

(laughter)

- You just want to learn, do you not?

- Of course I do,

so I can toss up a few Indian words

in front of that smart aleck Patty Davis.

Hey, I got an idea.

I can learn those words better

if you write them here on the blackboard.

- [Betty] Oh, no, Patty,don't make her do that.

- Oh, I don't mind, really.

This will be good practice.

When I return to India,

I'm going to be a teacher. - [Betty] Oh.

- First, show me how you spell your name.

- [Chanthini] All right.

- [Betty] Hey, Bud, you were supposed to put this away.

- Yeah, sure.

- Chanthini Rajkamuri.

Chanthini means Moon.

Perhaps you know someonewith the name of Moon

or Moonlight.

- No, I don't think so.

- Sure we do.

Moon Mullins.

(laughter)

- Oh, that's a very musical name.

Is she pretty?

(laughter)

- Not very.

He's a comic strip character.

- How do you pronounce those words?

- Tika, Sari, Mohadi.

- [Kathy] Tika, Sari Mohadi.

- Very good.

- Tell me all about how you live.

Do you go to shows,

have birthday parties and Christmases

and holidays and all that?

- Oh, yes, we have manymany beautiful holidays.

This is one of the mostcolorful parts of life

in my country.

For example,

if we were in my home now,

we would be celebratinga holiday called

Raksha Bandhan.

- [Kathy] Haksha who? (laughter)

- [Chanthini] Raksha Bandhan.

- Is that your Christmas?

- No, on this day,

we girls tie Rakhis on the wrists of our brothers,

or on those we adopt as our brothers.

- Well, what is a rakhi?

- It's a little ribbon or band of colored threads.

- Like this?

- Well, not exactly,

but it's something like that.

- Here, show us how you do it.

- Oh, but I haveno brother here.

One must have a brother.

- Oh, yeah.

(laughter)

- No, wait.

(laughter)

- You can use ours if you don't mind

a secondhand one.

- Then you couldadopt a brother.

C'mon, Bud, you've just been adopted.

- Well, now, wait.

I wanna know what this 'haksha bandage'

is getting me into.

(laughter)

- Stop worrying.

Tie it on, Chanthini.

- Well, in my country,

the obligation of Raksha Bandhanis taken quite seriously.

In return for the rakhis,

the brother gives the sister a gift

to show he will be her protector

and come to her aidwhenever she needs help.

In ancient times, the traditional gift

was a jeweled bodice,

but in modern times,

they give most anything.

A little bottle of perfume or anything.

(laughter)

The most importantthing is that it becomes

his sacred and chivalrous duty to help his sister

in time of need.

There.

Is that not a pretty tradition?

There's a wonderful story about a Hindu princess...

- Bud, where you going?

Wait, excuse me.

Bud, Bud, come back, you're being rude.

- Well, I'm not gonna stand around

with this silly ribbon on.

What if some of the guys should come over

and see me?

- Shh. Not so loud.

Look, we're trying to be nice to Chanthini.

Make her feel at home.

- What do you want me to do,

buy her a jeweled bodice?

(laughter)

I don't even know what that is.

(laughter)

- But you can be polite.

Well, as a matter of fact,

you could buy her some perfume or something.

This means a lot to her.

Well, you embarrassed her by sneaking out.

- Well, maybe I was embarrassed, too.

Ribbons.

Men don't wear ribbons.

- [Betty] Bud, come back.

- [Kathy] Will hadi raksha.

Oh, darn it.

I always goof on that one.

- I think you are not the only one

who has goofed.

(contemplative music)

- Now, just a minute, Bud.

You are not leaving, understand?

- I told you once.

I'm embarrassed,

and if I stick around,

she'll probably wannadrape 'mohatches' on me

and wrap me in a 'swari,'

and put teacups on my noggin.

No thank you.

(laughter)

- Now, now, wait.

They're not going to do anything like that.

You come back inside

or you're gonna hurt her feelings.

- Well, I don't wanna hurt her feelings, but...

- Well, all right, then.

Tie this on your wrist again.

- No! (Laughter)

- You have to.

What kind of animpression do you think

she'll get of American brothers from you?

- Well, at least she'll find out

you don't dress them up like a maypole.

(laughter)

Sorry, but I'm leaving.

- Bud.

Bud, come back here.

Oh, dear.

(motor running in the distance)

(wistful music)

I tell you, that Bud has the manners

of a maladjusted mud turtle.

I know he made Chanthini feel awful,

running out like that.

- Well, you take this in.

Your father's working out a plan

to smooth everything out.

- Oh, yes, what kind of a plan?

- Well, he'll be here soon on,

he'll tell you.

Go on.

- [Betty] Mommy.

You wanna hear me talk Indian?

Tika, Sari, Mohadi, Rickshaw Benny.

(laughter)

- Hey, we're in luck.

Look, I got 'em.

Six tickets on the -yard line.

- Oh, cool. - [Margaret] Oh, thank

goodness you got them.

We need something like that.

It seems Bud ran out

when Chanthini wasdemonstrating some kind

of an Indian holiday.

- Bud's her adopted brother now

and it's a sacred and chivalousduty to come to her aid.

- What?

- I'll explain.

Go on in, and tell her about the tickets.

- Yes, this'll make herforget everything else.

She'll get a real boot out of this.

What could be more American than a football game?

The card stunts, the parade, the bands,

the hot dogs.

- Hurry in and tell her.

You don't have to sell me.

- OK.

- Now you didn't do anything to embarrass Bud.

Boys his age justnaturally act that way,

only Bud practices at it.

(laughter)

He spends hours at it.

- No, it was all my fault.

I should never...

- [Betty] Oh, hi, father.

- Uh, Chanthini, you've never seen

an American football game, have you?

- Oh, yes.

Some friends took me to see,

whatch you call,

a professional game when I first arrived in New York.

(laughter)

- Oh.

Well, did you enjoy it?

- Oh, to tell the truth,

I did not see much of the game.

I could not bear to watch it.

- Why not?

- It was not a pretty sight.

Those big boys would get into little gangs

and rush out and throw each other down

on the ground. (laughter)

And the people even encouraged the boys.

They cheered and shouted.

(laughter)

Sometimes a boy would take the ball

and try to escape,

but it was no use.

They would catch him and all jump on him.

(laughter)

They hurt one so badly,

he had to be carried off on a stretcher.

(laughter)

There were three or fourmen in stripe-ed shirts

who tried to keep the boys separated,

but alas, they were badly outnumbered.

(laughter)

Once, one of the men, even fired a g*n

to scare the boys off the field,

but in or minutes,

they were right back out there fighting.

Oh, I just could not stand to watch it.

(laughter)

- [Betty] Oh, that's a wonderful description.

Now, when we go back to school on Monday,

you copy that down

and I'll submit it to the school paper.

- [Chanthini] Oh, no, Idon't want that printed.

- Oh, but it's very funny.

Don't you think so, father?

- Yes, yes.

Uh, priceless.

(laughter)

- Oh, by the way,

mother said you were working on a big plan for us.

Can you tell us what it is now?

- Oh, well, it didn't work out

quite the way I expected,

but I will think of something else.

- How'd you like the football tickets

Daddy got for you?

(laughter)

- [Chanthini] Football tickets?

For me?

- No, no. Kathy...

- Is this true, father?

Did you really get tickets for the university game today?

- No, no, no.

I may have mentioned...

- Look, see here, Daddy.

Six of 'em. (laughter)

(wistful music)

- Kathy, you talk too much.

(laughter)

- I think it wasvery nice of you

to go to so much trouble,

and I would love to go.

- After that blow-by-blow description you gave?

Don't be silly, Chanthini.

- Oh, no, really.

No, I didn't mean,

Well, sometimes thewords in your language,

they come out differentthan I intend.

- I think they came out very clearly.

(laughter)

- Well, it's quite exciting about the football game,

isn't it? (laughter)

Even if you don't understand the game,

you'll get a kick out ofwatching Betty's father.

Well, he's a real rabid fan.

- Oh, no.

That's one game I never did care for.

(laughter)

Come on, let's go out in the kitchen,

and see if we can find somethingreally interesting to do.

(laughter)

- Well, now, don't start worrying.

I know what you're thinking.

- Betty, I am so ashamed.

I said such awful thingsabout the football,

after your father went to...

- Forget it.

We'll think of somethingmuch better to do.

- I wanted so much to have your family like me,

but all I seem to do

is goof. (laughter)

- Where did you pick up that word?

- From Kathy.

(laughter)

- Fine lot of thingsyou're learning from us

about American home life.

One word.

Goof.

(laughter)

- Well, what should I wear to the football?

- To the,

oh, oh, we're not going.

- Oh, but yes.

In my home, our guests do what the host desires.

- Well, it's different here.

We just wanna do what you wanna do.

Now stop worrying.

- Perhaps it would be better

if I went back to thecollege dormitory and...

- Now don't be silly, Chanthini.

Everyone loves you

and they'd be very disappointed if you left.

Now we're gonna have a wonderful time,

so just you relax.

(motor running)

Our wandering brother returns.

Excuse me.

I'm gonna find today's paper

and see if there's a good movie playing.

I'll be right back.

(gentle music)

(laughter)

- Hello.

- Oh! (Laughter)

Hello.

- I don't know exactly what a fella's supposed to say,

but anyway,

happy 'Hacksha Van Dam" to you.

(laughter)

- For me?

- Well, you said it was OK to buy perfume.

I hope that's OK.

- Oh, you did not have to do this.

- Oh, Betty said I better.

(laughter)

I wanted to.

(laughter)

Tradition and all.

Hope it's OK.

- Oh, you are sweet, Bud.

- Well, no I'm not.

Hardly. (laughter)

- Yes, you are,

but there is a favor you must do for me.

- [Bud] Huh?

- You realize that it is now

your sacred and chivalrous duty

to come to my assistance?

- Well, yeah, but,

- Will you take me somewhere

in your automobile?

- Well, yeah, I guess so.

- And can you do it with no one else knowing about it?

- You mean sneak out?

- Yes, sneak, it is very important.

No one must know.

We must hurry.

(anxious music)

You wait here while I change into other clothes.

(gentle string music)

- Boy, isn't that romantic?

(laughter)

And then, she came down in some Capris

and they sneaked out, together.

Boy, I wish we had a romantic holiday

like that "Haksha Banana."

(laughter)

- Romantic?

What are you talkin' about?

Don't you realize what she was doing?

She was having Bud takeher back to the college.

- Oh, no.

Now surely she wouldn't...

- Well, she said she thought she ought to,

because she felt that everything she did was wrong.

- Oh, dear.

- Well, Bud oughta have more sense

than to take her back there.

- Bud has to do whatever she says.

It's his sacred and chivalous duty.

He's her brother now.

- Well, Betty, you get on the phone

and call the college dormitory

and tell her we want herto come back right away.

- No, I wouldn't do it.

Our best bet is to go there and get her.

- I think you're right.

Let's go.

All my fault.

This whole footballidea in the first place.

- Daddy and Betty are making a mistake.

They just don't understand

that India is the land of romance.

(laughter)

(wistful music)

- It's parked.

I thought Bud was takingher back to the college.

- That's what I thought, too.

Well, they can't have gone far.

C'mon.

(jaunty music)

Well, for goodness sake.

Look, father.

- [Chanthini] , , hike!

(laughter)

- Throw it, throw it up!

C'mon, toss it.

(laughter)

That a girl.

- Whoo, what was that called?

A forward smash?

- No, no. It was a forward pass.

You're mixing up with the off-tackle smash.

Now we gotta try the quarterback sneak.

- Is that fair?

(laughter)

- How do you like that?

She's trying to learn the game.

- I think she's learned enough.

C'mon.

- , , hike!

Oh, oh.

(laughing) (laughter)

- I'll tell you right now.

You'll never make the team, Chanthini.

- Well, maybe not,

but she's the prettiestquarterback I've seen

all season.

(laughter)

- Ah, dear.

I don't know what to say.

- [Bud] Wasn't my idea, Dad.

- Well, why did you wanna learn this silly game?

- Oh, well, I,

- I know,

and you have only my utmost admiration, Chanthini.

I don't know anyone

who would put herself out so much just to please.

- Excuse me for interrupting,

but had we not better hurry to the game?

- The game?

Oh, no,

really it doesn't matter about that.

- Oh, but I want to go now.

You see, now Iunderstand the football.

(laughter)

- Yes, but,

- Before I left India,

my father told me I must try always

to understand a thing

before I judge it.

"Understanding," he said,

"is the path to tolerance."

- Well, he's right, but,

- So now I am eager to see

the windtail plunge off the lateral

and touchdown the sneaky quarterback.

(laughter)

We must not be late for the 'kick-on.'

Come, brother teacher.

- [Bud] Here we go.

(laughter)

(happy music)

(applause)

(triumphant music)

(Colex jingle)