03x15 - Naked Tommy/Tommy and the Secret Club

[bunniefuu]

[ Gasps]

[ Dog whining]

Oh, now, don't you

Look handsome?

Deed, what have
you done to spike?

Don't you think
he looks cute?

He's a dog, deed,
not a... A poodle.

[ Growling]

Good boy, spike.

If you want to run around
naked all day

Then go ahead.

Run, spike!

Be free!

Come and listen
to my acceptance speech.

Sure, pop.

Wow, spike.

I never noticed before.

No wonder you're
so happy all the time.

[ Sighs]

[ Giggling]

I'm still listening.

I want to check on the... Aah!

Didi:
stu, what's wrong?
Oh, nothing.

Tommy just took off
his diaper.

Well, put it back on.

Grandpa:
hurry. This is
my big ending.

Okay, champ,
let's get this thing back on.

There you go.

Good as new.

Tommy!

Now just keep
it on this time and...

Tommy, I'm not kidding!

Get that thing
off your head.

You're going
to give tommy ideas.

Deed, what are
we going to do?

He won't keep it on.

It's perfectly natural.

Running around
with no clothes on is natural?

I don't know what kind
of family you're from

But in mine we wore clothes.

Except for aunt lois,
but that's another story.

According to lipschitz

"The spontaneous shedding
of clothing by infants

"Is a natural outgrowth
of their desire

To explore their
personal space."

What does thatmean?

He'll grow out of it
probably before kindergarten.

Probably?

Hiya, deed.

Say, how's lou's
speech coming?

Fine, betty,
but he's very nervous.

He isreceiving an award
in front of the full assembly

Of the fraternal order
of wombats.

You look different, tommy.

Yeah, tommy.
Do you have a new tooth?

No.

Did you get a haircut?

Nope.

I know.

You're buck naked!

Why aren't you wearing clothes?

Are you taking a bath?

No, I just didn't want
to wear my clothes.

How come you don't want to?

Let me ask you this, lil.

How come youdo?

Huh?

Why do youwear clothes?

Well, I guess...

All they're good for
is getting dirty or wet

And then your mom
yanks your shirt

Up over your head,
and it hurts your ears.

And they do it so they can put
a new shirt on you

And say how cute it looks,
but it's not cute.

It's just hot and itchy.

But...

Don't you see?
Yeah, we see.

You don't have
to wear clothes

Ordiapers.

You can be free!

Yay!
Yay!

You can do it too.

It feels great.

Well, maybe.

[ Grunting]

[ Sighs]

I feel better already.

Philip!

Lillian!

Um, lil,
could I ask you a question?

Where's
the man of the hour?

Practicing his speech?

Aah! Now they're alldoing it.

Going through that spontaneous
shedding of clothing stage?

It's an outgrowth

Of their desire
to control their environment

And explore
their personal space.

Stu:
that's what didi said.

Something wrong?

Are you okay?

What have you done, you guys?

What have you done?

What, chuckie?

Oh, don't think

I haven't noticed.

You're all totally nakey!

What's wrong with that?

You can't go around
without any clothes on.

Why not?

'Cause... Your parents
put them on you.

So?

They spent a lot of time
putting them on.

They must have a good reason.

Maybe they did so we can
practice taking them off.

I don't think
that's the reason.

I... I... Oh, I don't know.

Chuckie, take them off.

Yeah, it's fun.

Tommy:
what's the matter? Need help?

No, I don't need help
'cause I don't want to be nakey.

It's just not natural.

But chuckie,
all the best people are nakey.

Look. Spike is nakey.

And susie's cat is nakey.

And even reptar is nakey.

Well...

I guess if reptar's nakey...

[ Grunting]

Great evonne goolagong!

What's going on here?

Philly, lilly, you're nudists!

Betty, I'm surprised.

They're just babies.

Lipschitz says...

Don't start
with that hippie lipschitz.

I don't know what kind
of baby commune you're running

But it's time to face facts.

The ' s are over,
and we lost.

[ Door slams]

[ Chuckie grunting]

We're never going
to see phil and lil again.

Oh, sure we are, chuckie.

Their mom's not going
to let them come back

All 'cause of you
making them get nakey.

I don't care what anybody says.

Nakey is good.

Nakey is free!

Nakey is... Nakey!

[ Groans]

I can't believe
betty reacted like that.

Our son's become

The high priest
of baby nudism.

It's just a phase.

It's a phase
that's not going over

Too well with the neighbors.

What if he gets naked
tonight at pop's dinner?

I've got
dr. Lipschitz' phone number.

Maybe I'd
better give him a call.

I'm going to take
more practical steps.

You're coming with me.

Dr. Lipschitz
knows what do to.

After all, he wrote the book.

Hello. This is dr. Lipschitz.

Oh, hello, dr. Lipschitz.

Thank you for calling

The dr. Lipschitz
baby talk hot line.

If you have a question
about nutrition

Press one now.

I'll show them.

I'll show them all.

My son will not be ridiculed
for a conspicuous breach

Of the social contract.

You have pressed six,
"distressing baby behavior."

If your baby seems to laugh
at inappropriate moments

Press one now.

Didi:
oh.

[ Grunting]

[ Snaps]

If your baby has been

Spontaneously shedding
his or her clothing

Please press nine now.

Finally.

You have pressed nine.

The spontaneous shedding
of clothing by infants

Is a natural outgrowth

Of their desire to control
their physical environment

And explore
their personal space.

Thank you for calling

The dr. Lipschitz
baby talk hot line.

You will be charged .
For the first minute

And cents
for each additional minute.

Stu:
the problem is solved

Thanks to my pickles
baby suspenders.

They're cute,
but I don't see...

These straps are calibrated
to tommy's weight

Strong enough so he
can't pull them off

But buffered
to prevent discomfort.

This could be a new division
for pickles toys.

Well, it's not the fashion
statement of the year

But at least we'll be able
to take tommy to pop's dinner.

And so on behalf
of the wombat club

Of winneticut county

I present this year's
golden marsupial award

To lou pickles.

Friends, family,
and fellow wombats

There's one reason
and one reason only

Why I'm standing
at this podium today

Receiving the highest honor

That the exulted
order of wombats can bestow.

It's not because
I was born rich--
oh, no, far from it--

Or because I've been lucky.

My poker buddies can tell you
that's certainly not the case.

The reason I'm here
tonight is I possess...

I got to get
out of this thing.

How, tommy? How?

A regular old diaper,
sure, but that thing?

There's got to be a way.

[ Grunting]

When louie calhern pickles comes
face-to-face with a problem

He doesn't cry about it.

He solves it.

I think you're going to be stuck
in your clothes forever.

No one hands you your freedom
on a silver platter.

If you want it,
you got to reach out

And take it.

That was true

For our founding fathers,
and it's true for us.
[ Grunting]

'Cause unless
you earn your freedom

You'll never learn
to appreciate it.

Chuckie,
I'm going out there.

In closing, my friends,
I would like to give you

A few words of advice,
and it's simply this--

Don't be afraid
of the naked truth

'Cause when you get down

To the bare bones of life,
you find out that truth

Is all we've got.

It's like the man said--
clothes don't make the man...

[ Gasping]

Tommy?

Oh, no, stu!

We'll just pretend
he isn't ours.

[ Chuckling]

Ladies and gentlemen

I'd like you all to meet
my grandson tommy pickles!

[ Giggling]

I've gotten so many
phone calls today.

They liked your speech?

No, they hated my speech.

But they think
my grandson's

The cutest little thing
they ever saw

With or without clothes.

So I finally figured

There's lots of good reasons
to wear clothes.

They keep us warm.

Yeah, but, tommy...

They keep dirt off.

But, tommy...

They look nice.

But...

I know spike's nakey
and reptar's nakey

But we're not aminals,
and we got to wear clothes.

Well, whatever
makes you happy.a

[ Giggling]

Hey, look.

What's she doing?

Come on, let's go find out.

Wow, look at that.

It's amazing.

Yeah, but what is it?

Aw, pipe down, pipsqueaks.

Here, read this.

What does it say,
angelica?

It says "angelica's
secret club.

"Keep out.

No grown-ups,
no dogs, and no babies."

That means you.

I still don't get it.

What's a secret club?

It's a secret!

Now, scram!

Okay, quiet. Quiet, everybody.

Time for the official
secret club meeting.

We will start
with the membership roll call

So when I call your names

Stand and say, "present,"
okay?

[ Clears throat]

Angelica?

Present!

Cynthia?

Cynthia?

Present!

Well, that's everyone.

Okay, time for

The official secret club song.

[ Clears throat]

♪ Here we are
in angelica's club ♪

♪ The secretest club,
the secretest club ♪

♪ Here we are
in angelica's club ♪

♪ It's pretty great
to be ♪

♪ In angelica's club

Okay, now for nude business.

Anyone with nude business today?

Anyone? Anyone?

Cynthia?

That's the trouble,
cynthia.

You never have
any nude business.

Tommy:
I want to be in the club.

Lil:
me too.

It's no fair
they don't let babies in.

Yeah.

[ Blows tone]

Hear me, hear me!

As official president
of angelica's secret club

I have
a very important announcement.

Upon consideration

We have decided to admit
a new member to the club.

Really?

Neat!
Neat!

I always wanted to be
in a secret club.

You babies are dumber
than I thought.

You can't let
anyone in a secret club

'Cause then it wouldn't be
secret.

We're not all going
to be in the club?

That's right.

I'm only letting in one.

Now, who's it going to be?

How about tommy, you guys?

Yeah, tommy!
Yeah, tommy!

Sure, why not?

No, no, no!

You don't get to pick.

I do.

And I'm only picking
the bestest baby.

How will you do that?

With the secret club
contest.

It's not going to be easy

And it's not going
to be fun

But it's the only way.

[ Gasps]

I can't drink any more milk,
angelica.

It's making me sick.

Sorry, chuckie.

You want to get
in my club

You got to drink.

I can't drink anymore either,
angelica.

[ Burps]

I did it, I did it, i...

[ Sloshing sound]

[ Evil laughter]

Okay, chuckie.
You're first.

I-i'm not ready, angelica.

Just say the poem
like I told you.

Ah... Okay.

"Look at me,
I'm chuckie-ducky.

"When I barf,
it's really yucky.

When i, um..."

Uh, I forgotted the rest,
angelica.

Ah, sit down,
just sit down.

Lil?

"My name is boogery lil.

"I give all my boogers
to phil.

"They're yellow and green,
if you know what I mean

"So i... I... Um...

And angelica's the best."

Nice save, lillian.

Phil!

Lil:
he's still kind of full
from the milk, angelica.

No excuses.

Let's hear
the poem I taught you.

"My name is... My name is...

My name is..."

Ooh!

Ah, tommy?

"Silly me, my name is tommy.

"My diapers smells
like old salami

"I have no hair,
but I don't care

When I want my mommy."

Hmm, not bad.

Not bad at all.

And so one baby
is now ready

To join angelica's
secret club.

The bestest, secretest club
in the world.

Now which baby is it?

Could it be lil?

No, it isn't lil.

No?

Could it be phil?

No, it isn't phil.

Oh.

Could it be

Chuckie?

No, it isn't chuckie.

Could it be... Yes!

It's tommy pickles.

Me?

Welcome to angelica's
secret club.

You picked me?

That's right, tommy.

You're in the club now.

He's so beautiful.

Angelica:
i, angelica c. Pickles,
present you

Tommy "bobby boy" pickles

With this official
secret club membership card.

Go on--
scratch and sniff.

Wow!

Thanks, angelica.

Can we go do
secret club stuff now?

Yeah, we'll get to that.

But first, I got to teach you

The official
secret club rules.

[ Kids laughing]

It's raining.

Hiya, tommy.

Want to play with us?

I can't. I'm doing official
secret club stuff.

Angelica:
tommy, remember rule # :

No talking to non-secret
club members.

Sorry, guys.

I got to go.

Gee, tommy's not much fun
anymore, is he?

Isn't this fun, tommy?

Now that you're official
member of my secret club

You can have fun
for the rest of your life.

Aren't there
any secret clubs

That let everybody in?

No.

What if we let chuckie
and phil and lil in?

No.

We wouldn't have
to tell anyone.

No.

But why, angelica?

Why can't we let
our friends in?

I already esplained it to you,
tommy.

A club isn't a club

Unless some people
aren't allowed in.

But I used to have fun
playing with them.

Fun? That was nothing.

You want to have some real
secret club fun?

Yeah.

Come on.

Hey, babies.

You want to know a neat secret?

All:
yeah!

Well, you can't.

'Cause you're not
in the secret club.

[ Laughing]

Look at those babies!

Isn't this great?

I think
tommy's changed.

Yeah, I guess
we're not good enough for him

Now that he's
in angelica's club.

No, tommy hasn't changed,
you guys.

Angelica's making him do
all this stuff.

We got to help him.

Us? Help him?

But he's the one
in the club.

Well, I'm going to try.

Angelica:
I'll be back.

I'm getting some stuff
for our next fun thing.

Shampooing the babies.

Don't let anyone in here

Without the password.

Got it.

Pssst! Pssst!

It's me, tommy.

Chuckie?

Hi, tommy.

Uh, uh, what's the password?

Password?

You've got to know
the password

Or you can't come in.

What's a password?

Baboon.

Baboon?

All right, you said it.

You can come in.

This is it?

This is the secret clubhouse?

Well, we're redecorating.

Oh... Hey!

No, that's
angelica's cookie.

Where's your cookie?

Um, angelica ate it.

Tommy, this secret club

Isn't really any fun at all,
is it?

What do you mean?

You don't like

Just playing with angelica

And doing stuff for her
all the time, do you?

Oh, chuckie--
chuckie, chuckie, chuckie.

I know
what's bothering you.

You do?

I'm in the club

And you're not.

But just remember,
we all had a chance

And I got chose.

No, tommy.

You better get out
of here

Before angelica
comes back.

Phil and lil
was right, tommy--

You have changed.

Hey!

Hi, angelica.

Aren't you forgetting
something?

Hi, angelica, sir?

The password, dummy.

If you don't remember
to ask for the password

Anybody can waltz
right in.

Count draculator,
sadman husseini

Or even chuckie.

Nobody like that
came in here

Did they?

Uh...

Promise me

You're not going to have
anything to do with chuckie

While
you're in this club.

Okay? Huh?

Do you promise?

Angelica, I can't do that.

Chuckie's my bestest friend.

You have to!

You're in my club
and I said so!

Well, I'm not going to.

Yes, you are!

No, I'm not!

Yes, you are!

Angelica, I quit
your stupid club.

Quit? You can't quit.

I can and I am!

Chuckie was right--
this club is just no fun.

You don't know
what you're missing.

This is the greatest opportunity
a baby ever had.

[ Giggling]

[ Laughter]

Angelica:
hey, tommy!

Oh, hi, angelica.

I decided to give you
one more chance.

That's okay,
angelica.

We got our own club now.

Your own club?

Ha, what do you babies
know about clubs?

[ Laughter]

Uh, tommy,
can I be in your club?

Be in our club?

After what you did?

Say "no,"
tommy.

Make her say a poem.

Or chug milk.

Or eat boogers.

Tommy:wait!
It's okay, angelica.

You can play with us.

Just like that?

Why?

Because in my club,
everybody's allowed in.