03x09 - Reptar 2010/Stu Gets a Job

[bunniefuu]

[ Drum roll]

[ Gasps]

, Years ago

Before the dawn of history

Dinosaurs ruled the earth.

The hugest
and most terrifying of these

Was none other
than tyrannosaurus rex.

But the fragile fabric of space
and time being what they are

It is not surprising

That one
of these horrific creatures

Would suddenly,
for no apparent reason

Be hurtled forward
through the centuries

To a world he never made--

The world of our own future.

This is his story.

Man:
dr. Ventnor, thanks for
returning on such short notice.

Of course, mr. President.

Bring me up to date
on... The creature.

As you know

An underwater volcano erupted

Off the coast of rhode island.

[ Dialogue fast-forwarded]

Ah, this is the boring part.

Ah, now here we go.

President:
... , Years
frozen at the earth's core.

Let's just pray his icy prison
remains impervious.

There's nothing to fear,
mr. President.

These nuclear containment rings
are the strongest force field

Known to man.

[ Gasping]

Cool.

[ Roaring]

Good, sweet mike.

Ventnor:
it can't be,
it just can't be.

[ Roaring]

Ventnor:
we've got one chance,
mr. President.

President:
go ahead.

You see, reptar's body
is composed of billions

Of infinitesimally small
subatomic particles

Each one containing

An opposing magnetic charge.

These opposing magnetic charges
in and of themselves...

...we can reverse
the molecular polarization

Causing a disintegration
of the vascular structure...

Causing his system to resolidify

Then spontaneously
re-liquify again.

[ Snoring]

[ Screaming]

Poor reptar, those buildings
are ganging up on him.

No, chuckie.

He's having fun.

Maybe his diaper
needs changing.

You babies don't know nothing.

Reptar's not playing.

He's not?

No, he's astroying stuff.

I don't know.

I don't think reptar
would do anything bad.

Well, that shows how much
you know about dinosaurs.

Are you sure this nucleonic
destabilization ray

Is going to work, doctor?

Either that, mr. President

Or it will obliterate
the entire universe.

We have no choice.

Pull the switch.

[ Rumbling]

[ Screaming]

[ Snorting:]
hey?

Oh, phooey.

Sorry, sprats

I guess we're not
going to get to see

What happens to old reptar.

At least, not tonight.

Stu, your conflabbed vidiot
machine ate another tape.

Oh, now we'll never know
what happened to reptar.

It's not fair.

I bet I know
what happened to him.

Together:
you do?

Why don't you
tell us, then, smarty?

Well, I don't think reptar
wanted to get into any trouble.

So when he saw that ray machine

He decided it was time
to go find someplace safe.

Oh, reptar.

Come out, come out,
wherever you are.

We've got a nice big
lasey beam for you.

[ Chuckling]

[ Snickering]

Oh, reptar...

President:
wow, the statue of lizardy
sure looks big close up.

Yeah, and green, too.

Both:
the statue of lizardy?

[ Yelling]

[ Yelling]

Curses.

Don't worry.

We'll find
that pesky dinosaur.

[ Yelling]

[ Panting]

[ Gasping]

President:
we've got you now, dinosaur.

Come out with your claws
in the air.

Please don't hurt me.

Just look at this mess.

I didn't mean to.

You didn't mean to.

Who is going
to clean all this up?

The joint chiefs of staff?

I'm sorry.

Sorry isn't good enough, reptar.

Doctor, send this creature
back to the jurassic.

[ Crying]

Reptar wouldn't
hide like that.

He wouldn't?

No.

Reptar would have gone
and had a whole lot of fun.

New toy car.

Neat.

Vroom.

[ Cackling]

[ Sniffing]

Yucky stuff.

[ Laughing]

[ Burping]

Hey, that's my bus.

Nuh-uh.

Uh-huh.

Uh.

Uh.

Ooh.

Eeh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Ooh.

Aw, you babies
don't know anything.

Reptar wouldn't
fight over a dumb bus.

He's got better things to do.

[ Yelling]

And you two--

Just where do you think you're
going with that ray machine?

Please don't hurt us,
ms. Reptile lady, ma'am, sir.

Maybe I will, and maybe I won't.

It all depends on whether
you two pipsqueaks

Do exactly what I say.

Anything.

Anything?

Hmm.

Ahh.

Prehistory
was nothing like this.

Ahh.

Oh, I don't know.

Why would reptar
sit by a swimming pool

When he could
have adventures?

Adventures?

What kind
of adventures?

Really exciting adventures

Like getting cookies
and playing in the sandbox.

I don't think reptar would want
to get into any more trouble.

Sure he would.

Ventnor:
look at that reptar.

What a cute-looking dinosaur.

And, my, hasn't he grown?

It seems
every time I see him

He's shot up
another or feet.

Come here, reptar.

Now, play nicely, reptar

While dr. Ventnor and I
clean up this yucky mess.

[ Slurping]

Hmm, I wonder if there's
any cookies around here.

The cookie factory.

Aw, nothing but crumbs.

Guess there's no cookies
big enough for reptars.

[ Gasping]

Wow!

[ Grunting]

Oh, it's too high.

We'll help you.

There, that ought to do it.

Well, here goes.

Wait a minute.

I don't think we're
'pposed to be doing this.

Oh, chucktar,
don't be such a dinosaur.

[ Grunting]

Careful, tommy.

I'm just climbing
a pile of skyscrapers.

What could go wrong?

Whoa!

[ Gasping]

Whoa... Whoa... Whoa...

[ Gasping]

Look.

All:
wow.

Angelica:
hey, reptommy

What you doing?

Nothing.

Were you eating something?

No.

Well, okay.

Whew.

Ha, look what I got,
look what I got!

Hey, reptilica, give it back.

[ Yelling]

Hey, sprouts, gather 'round.

Managed to fix the video
with some tape.

It's amazing what you can do
with ingenuity and elbow grease.

Might have lost

A couple of minutes
in the middle, though.

We'll never
forget you.

Good luck and godspeed.

Together:
whoa...

Oh, boy, barney bear

It's another beautiful day
in cubby bear land.

Time to sing the happy song.

♪ Sing a happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, happy song ♪

♪ Sing a happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, hap-- ♪

Hey, we were watching that.

Didi, I thought
you were at work.

It's summertime,
school's out.

I haven't been at work
for three weeks.

I knew that.

Stu, we need to talk.

But the rockford filesis on.

Stu, it's been months since
you've designed a new toy.

Once I perfect
the bubblerama

Our troubles are over.

It'll make the world's
largest bubble.

If that doesn't put
pickles toys on the map

Nothing will.

[ Rumbling]

Unfortunately,
there's still a few kinks.

I've been going over our bills

And I thought if you got a job
outside the house, we...

An inventor of my stature can't
worry about financial details.

My mind has to be free
to create.

Well, when does
an inventor of your stature

Intend to finish this thing?

Did mozart's wife ask when
he would finish his requiem?

Stu, mozart died
without finishing his requiem.

Bad example.

In the meantime

You always have
your sales background.

Here's an ad.

Consolidated lard is looking
for telephone representatives.

Consolidated lard?

I'm an official
wage sl*ve, dide.

Stu, that's great.

Hear that, tommy?

Your father got a job.

I'm so proud of you.

Ah, yeah.

Tomorrow I'll be
cold-calling customers

About the wonders
of rendered fat.

I guess life couldn't
get much sweeter.

Did you hear that, tommy?

Your daddy gots a job.

Huh?

Instead of staying home

And playing, he's going
to go work every day.

Don't be silly, chuckie,
my daddy wouldn't do that.

He always stays home
and plays with me.

Not anymore.

He gots a job now,
like my daddy.

Chuckie, listen.

Maybe your dad
goes to a job

Maybe other daddies
go to jobs

But not mydaddy.

He's stays right here
at home with me.

Bye, tommy. Daddy's off
to the lard mines.

Why did he have
to get a job?

Why can't
he stay home

And play with me?

Maybe he has
better toys.

Or new friends.

Or a swimming pool
filled with green jell-o.

Well, he might.

Sorry, tommy.

I guess the tooth
hurts sometimes.

We got to figure out a way

To keep my daddy from going
to that job place tomorrow.

Maybe he'd stay home
if we shared your toys with him.

Like when we come over
and play with reptar.

That's a great idea.

Tommy:
over here, phil.

Chuckie:
watch out, lil.

[ Crashing]

[ Humming]

Hey, bro.

[ Sniffing:]
sheesh, what's that smell?

It's hickory-smoked lard.

There's more where that
came from, help yourselves.

No, thanks.

I was wondering

If you might pay back
that money for the grill.

I paid you back last summer.

Like fun you did.

The minute
you make good

The vultures
just move right on in.

[ Alarm clock beeping]

[ Gasping]

[ Squeaking]

Yikes!

Morning, stu.
All set for work?

I'm lucky to be alive.

When I opened my closet,
an avalanche of toys fell on me.

Toys? Why'd you put
toys in your closet?

Somebody else
put them there

But who?

Drew.

Huh?

I can't believe drew would
stoop so low over bucks

Which, I might add,
I already paid him back.

I'll show him.

[ Giggling]

Yes, I'd like to order large
pepperoni and mushroom pizzas.

My name?

Drew pickles.

Tommy:
it didn't work, guys.

Sharing the toys
didn't make him stay home.

Sorry, tommy.

It won't be that bad.

You'll get used
to never having him around.

I wish I could think of some way
to make him stay home.

You know, tommy

Sometimes my daddy stays home

'Cause bad stuff
happens to him.

Bad stuff? Like what?

Well, like the time
he got his tie stuck

In the garbage disposer.

Or the time he locked himself
in the bathroom.

Chuckie, you've done it again.

Now, what's the first thing
your daddy does in the morning?

Throws the noisy clock
against the wall?

No, after that.

Polishes my mommy's shoes?

After that.

Takes a shower?

Exactly, he takes a shower.

And then what does he do?

He goes "b-r-r-r-r."

After that.

He sticks his finger in his ear?

After that.

He gets dressed?

Exactly, and then
what does he do?

Eats breakfast.

What does he have?

Hot dogs.

What does he drink?

Coffee?

Exactly.

Okay, so here's the plan.

He's going to make it from here,
the bed, over to the shower.

Phil, that's
where we hit him first.

Got it.

He'll go for his clothes

In the closet.

We get him again.

Got it.

And finally

We head him off
at the coffee pot here.

That's where
you come in.

Got it.

Let's go and show them
what we're made of.

All:
yeah.

Dide, you're not
going to believe this.

I have to memorize
different types of lard.

Hey, little bro.

What are you doing?

Picking up a cookbook.

Thought I'd try a recipe.

You ought to think about
the last book you borrowed.

Not that coloring book.

You ate the cover.

I was five.

You're the one

Who's bringing up
ancient history.

[ Beeping]

Honey?

Huh?

Who took all my clothes?

I can't believe drew
would sink so low.

[ Gasping]

Morning, son.

Looking sharp.

And your hair smells nice, too.

Thanks, pop.

Have you seen drew around here?

His practical jokes
have gone far enough.

Mm, yeah. Mm.

This coffee tastes like mud.

Eww, it is mud.

Well, turnabout isfair play.

Yes, I'm calling
about a car parked illegally

On private property
at briarcliff place.

The license plate reads "drew."

[ Laughing]

Well, I'm late for work.

Got to run.

What on earth

Were all these clothes
doing in tommy's playpen?

I don't know
what to do, chuckie.

There's no stopping him.

Tommy, I want you
to listen to me.

And I want you
to listen good.

Now, your daddy has a job.

He's going to go
to that job every day.

The only way
you could stop him

Would be to,
to trap him in a net.

That's it.

What's it?

My grandpa has a fishing net
we could use.

No, tommy, I didn't mean...

Come on, let's go.

When am I going to learn
to keep my big mouth shut?

[ Alarm beeping]

Whew.

[ Slurping]

Things are going smoothly
this morning.

Drew learned
his lesson.

What are you
talking about?

[ Door buzzer]

Drew.

Where's stu?

Stu, let's talk.

Fine by me.

I couldn't
get to the office

Because my car was towed.

And I wore my disco suit to work
yesterday for kicks, huh?

I don't know
what you're talking about

But I bet you know
about the pizzas.

I thought you came
to apologize.

Apologize? You're the one
who should apologize.

What an idea.

We have nothing
to discuss.

Oh, drew, while you're here

I have
something for you.

It's a check
from stu for $ .

He wrote it last summer,
but he's used it as a bookmark.

Why, thanks, didi.

Ahem, drew, i, uh,
I have to go to work.

Yikes!

Yow!

What is this?

Looks like a net.

Wait a minute,
that's it, that's it.

This is just the thing
for my pickles bubblerama .

Crude gag, but thanks
for the inspiration.

I didn't...

Check it out.

If everything
goes according to plan

Instead of one giant bubble

We should get
a million small ones.

[ Giggling]

Call consolidated lard
and tell them I quit.

I'm staying home to work
on my bubble machine

And play with my kid.

[ Tommy laughing]