03x02 - Chuckie's First Haircut/Cool Hand Angelica

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

[ Chuckie laughing]

No, chuckie,
don't touch the camera!

It just keeps
growing, didi.

There's no
stopping it.

Hmm... I see what
you mean, charles.

You'll have
to cut it off.

Cut it off?

Every child

Needs his hair cut
sooner or later.

I have a feeling
chuckie's going to be scared.

Chuckie? Afraid
of a little haircut?

Oh, nonsense, charles.

I know something
you don't know!

What is it,
angelica?

It's about chuckie.

About me?

Snip... I don't know
any other chuckies.

Well, what is it?

You want to know?

Both:
uh-huh.

You reallywant to know?

Uh-huh.

You sureyou want to...

Just tell us, angelica!

Okay.

Chuckie,
you're getting

Your hair cut!

Hair cut?

[ Imaginary birds chirping]

Chuckie:
what happened?

You had a scare

But don't worry.

She's gone now.

It's all over.

Oh, tommy, I don't want
to get my hair cut!

I've had this hair
my whole life.

Why do they want to cut it now?

I don't know, chuckie.

Life is so hard, tommy.

Sometimes I think it's
the hardest thing there is.

Chuckie, I know
it's scary sometimes

But you got
to be brave.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Hey, chuckie,
how about

A little haircut?

Maybe this is a job
for professionals.

I know someone
who might be good.

Man:
hello there.

And how are wedoing?

We're not doing so well.

Chuckie seems to be
a little afraid.

Everyone's afraid
when they get
their first haircut.

Just come with me to the land
of the magical scissors.

Uh... I was talking
to chuckie.

Oh, uh... Of course.

Here we are

Little haircut dreamer.

I...

Go get 'em, chuckie.

Go on, little fellow.

There.

This is sort of fun,
isn't it?

Now, you never want
to be afraid

Because it shows
you're weak.

[ Chuckie panting]

[ Panting faster,
heart beating loudly]

[ Chuckie screaming]

[ Sputtering]

[ Screaming]

Chaz:
and after he spilled the cologne

And got into the hair

He knocked over
a tub of lather

Ran into a shelf
of shampoo

And snapped
a cut-out

Of crewcut the clown
right in half.

I've never been
so humiliated.

Sure you have.

What about when you got
stood up for your prom?

Or when your boss
called you an imbecile?

Stu:
or when that old woman
punched you?

Or...

Okay, okay!

I exaggerated!

But it was
a pretty ugly scene.

And then I knocked over
a tub of lather

Skidded into
a shelf of shampoop

And snapped a cut-out of
crewcut the clown in half.

[ Spits]

I've never been so
humiliated in all my life.

But you smell nice.

And you didn't have
to get your hairs cut.
Yeah, I guess you're right.

You won't get off
thateasy.

Everybody gets
their hair cut
sooner or later.

And you know
what else, chuckie?

It's going to hurt real bad.

That's not true!

Getting your hair cut

Doesn't hurt.

The grown-ups
wantyou

To think that.

Nu-uh!

Uh-huh!

I'm your friend.

I'm looking out for you.

When I say getting your hair
cut will hurt, I mean it.

No, chuckie, she's just
trying to scare you.

It doesn't hurt!

Does too!

Does not!

Does too!

Does not!

The only way to find out

Is to do a 'speriment.

A 'speriment?

Yep, a 'speriment.

We walk up to chuckie

Take a piece
of his hair and...

Ow!

Pull it right out.

Hey, angelica,
that hurt!

That was just onehair.

Think about how much
it will hurt

When they chop
the whole thing off.

Oh!

What if you held him down
and cut it?

Lipschitz says that
could be traumatic.

I know! What if I cut it
while he's sleeping?

You have to be honest
about hair separation.

Let's face it, he's hopeless.

Hey, look on
the bright side, chaz.

If his hair gets really long
he can become a rock star.

He's afraid of spandex.

Oh.

It's not fair!

What's wrong
with long hair?

Plenty of kids
got long hair

And they lead perfeckly
dormant lives.

Yeah, too bad you're
not one of them.

Maybe there's some way we
can make you notascared.

No, really...

I know what we can do!

Don't...

Get me a yo-yo.

Oh, why fight it?

Maybe you could
hypnotize him, chaz.

Oh, nonsense, stu.

You can't hypnotize
a two-year-old.

Chuckie, you are getting
very sleepy...

Verysleepy.

This'll never work.

I saw it on tv.

Chuckie, you...

[ Snoring]

Susie:
now, chuckie...

When I say
the word "banana"

You'll pretend
you're a duck, okay?

[ Murmuring]:
pretend I'm a duck...

And when I ring
tommy's little bell

You're going to pretend
you're a cow, okay?

Pretend I'm a cow...

And whenever you
see a scissors

You won't be scared, okay?

[ Loudly]:
okay?

Won't be scared...

Good.

When I clap,
you will wake up.

I'm telling you, susie,
it'll never work.

Chuckie, would
you like a...

Banana?

Quack! Quack! Quack!

Quack! Quack!

Moo!

Whoa!

Hey, chuckie... Banana!

Quack! Quack!

Quack! Quack!

[ Bell ringing]

Moo! Moo!

Banana!

Quack! Quack!

Moo!

Banana!

Quack!

Moo!

Banana!

Quack!

Moo!

Banana!

Quack!

Moo!

See? It works!

Now, chuckie,
it's time

For a haircut.

[ Screaming]:
no!

I gave it my best shot.

It was a good try.

Let's face it, I'm hopeless.

Banana!

Quack!

If I could
only show him

Haircuts don't hurt.

That's it!

What's it?

Show him that
haircuts don't hurt.

How will he do that?

It's easy!

Just let chuckie cut

A little of yourhair.

Myhair?

No, chuckie!

It's not going to hurt, see?

All:
ooh!

It doesn't hurt,
chuckie.

You try.

Angelica:
go ahead, chuckie!

Cut.

What a great idea!

You can always
count on lipschitz.

Maybe you'd better...
I'm so relieved.

Uh, chaz...

Charles?

Chaz, your hair!

My hair?

[ Falls to ground]

Did you see how much
my daddy cried

After he got
hishair cut?

And he hardly ever cries.

Oh, why does it always
have to be me?

You're the one with hairs.

Well, that makes sense.

Chuckie, how do you
feel right now?
How do you think I feel? Awful.

Real awful
or just a little awful?

Real awful.

Don't rub it in.

Could you feel
any awfuller?

I don't see how.

Let them cut your hair.

It can't be any worse
than living in fear.

You know something,
tommy?

That's dumb.

Yeah, maybe you're right.

But I guess I don't have
any choice, do i?

If I don't get it over with now

I'll just
be afraid forever.

Are you going
to do it?

Uh-huh.

It's hard
to explain, guys.

But even though
I don't want to do it

Part of me does
want to do it.

It does?

Yeah, part of me says

"Chuckie, you
just got to do it."

Then the other part says
"chuckie, don't listen to him."

But then the first part keeps
saying "do it, chuckie, do it!"

Sounds confusing.

It is, phil.

But no matter
how scary it is

No matter how much
it's going to hurt

I'm going to get my hair cut!

Wow, chuckie,
you sure are brave.

[ Whispers]:
I think he's a fool.

I see we're back

For another try.

Oh, and what happened
to daddy's hair?

It's a long story.

Anything you can do?

Oh, I'm sure we can
think of something.

But first,
the little one!

You'd better go,
chuckie.

[ Gulps]

[ Scissors rattling]

You think chuckie
went through with it?

I bet he did.

Did not!

Yeah, you're
probably right.

I am?

Chuckie:
hey, guys!

Tommy:
you did it!

You got it cut!

Yep, and it
didn't hurt one bit!

Wow!

Time for your
photo, chuckie.

I'll take it

So I can get
the two of you.

That isn't necessary.
Oh, I insist.

Come on, chaz, take
that dumb hat off.

Do I have to?

Yes.

All right.

Stu:
much better.

Susie:
and that's
my water container

And those are
my energy cookies

And that's
my inseck 'pellant

For the big, fat, icky bugs.

There's always
bugs at camp.

Neat!

Big deal.

Wow, day camp
sounds great, susie.

I wish we could go.

You're too little.

Day camp is fun,
but it's hard, too.

That's a laugh!

Camp is for kids

Who can't handle real life.

It is toohard!

You have to climb over things

And go through scary woods

And play lots
of hard games.

You don't even get to go
to the potty indoors.

I could do that stuff
standing on my head.

They'd make me
boss of the place
my first day.

You think so?

I knowso.

Too bad you're
not coming, too.

Yeah, too bad.

Thenyou'd see something.

Hmm...

Mmm...

Oh, that's
a terrific idea!

Angelica could use
a little socialization.

Huh?
What was that about?

That was lucy carmichael.

Susie's going to
day camp this summer

Angelica got really
excited about it.

Lucy suggested we enroll her.

Oh, that's great.

She'll love it.

[ Screaming]

[ Sobbing]:
I don't want to go to camp!

But, angelica, honey,
this'll be a great
experience for you.

And your friend susie
will be there.

Should we
make her go?

Daddy's right, dear.

You'll have
a wonderful time.

Drew, we decided to
take a firmer hand
with her.

I know, but... Listen, angel...

Sometimes we all
have to do things

We don't want to do.

[ Sniffs]

Not me, daddy.

I'm special.

Both:
she's going.

[ Kids laughing, talking]

Cynthia, this is
another fine mess

You've gotten us into.

You always open
your big mouth, don't you?

Okay, everybody,
let's sing a song!

Kids:
yay!

Oh, please.

♪ Packed my white bread
and salami ♪

Other kids:
♪ packed my white bread
and salami♪

Boy:
♪ then said bye-bye
to my mommy ♪

♪ Then said bye-bye
to my mommy♪

♪ She and daddy cut me loose

♪ She and daddy
cut me loose♪

♪ With a canteen full
of apple juice. ♪

♪ With a canteen
full of apple juice.♪

[ Kids laughing, talking]

[ Grunting]

Man:
welcome to
ferris island.

Like it or not,
you'll spend
four hours here

So let's get
one thing straight:

I'm in charge.

My name is jack bubble,
mr.bubble to you.

Make fun of my name,
peel sunflower seeds

The rest of the day.

What's all this, then?

It's my stuff, mr. Bubble.

You won't be needing
any of that.

We provide the "stuff" here.

Les, take these
personal items away.

Hey, my stuff!

You'll get a receipt.

Hi, angelica,
welcome to day camp!

I guess I have you
to thank for this.

Isn't it fun?

Fun? You call this fun?

Yeah, and pretty soon we
get to have swimming lessons

Over there in the lake.

I have to get in
that yucky water

With those
smelly little kids?

Uh-huh, and then we hike
through the woods.

Eew! Won't we get all sweaty
and dirty and stuff?

Yep, and then we get to play
on the osticle course.

Look, susie, I think I'm going
to just skip all that stuff.

Really?

Well, okay.

See you later!

[ Sighing]:
wonder where they keep
the cookies around here.

And where do you think
you'regoing?

To find the cookies.

I don't thinkso!

Woman:
good... Very good.

Outstanding.

Keep up the
good work, kid.

Hmm...

Went a little overboard
with the paste there

Didn't you, junior?

Good...

Good...

And what

Do you call this,
little girl?

It's a present for my daddy.

Actually, it's... What
I was trying to do was...

I thought...

What we have here is

A failure to communicate.

And who is this?

Your little friend?

Did shehelp you
build this...

Thing?

Hey, give me back cynthia!

You'll get her back

When you prove you can
handle popsicle sticks

Like a real camper.

[ Angelica screaming]

I don't get it.

Kids usually love that joke.

Angelica:
they won't find us in here,
cynthia--

At least, I hope not.

Oh, cynthia, what have I done
to deserve this?

Where did I go wrong?

Boy:
is there
anybody in there?

No.

Good, I really
got to go.

Hey, you said

There was nobody in here!

There isn't.

Get out of here.

Whatcha doing?

I'm hiding out, so scram!

Hiding out?

Wow!

Yeah, well...

I'm bodie.

Can I hide out, too?

Um... It's kind of
a one-kid hiding place.

[ Sniffs:]
I understand, you
don't want me here.

You don't have to say
any more-- I get you.

Good, now, get out of here.

You want some juice?

Some cookies?

Look, will you just...

Cookies?

Comic books, cookies, juice...

This is the life, eh, cynthia?

I got you
some gum, angelica.

Good job, bodie.

The kid may not be too bright

But what can I say?

I like him.

[ Grunting]

Where could he be going
with that ice cream?

Well, now!

What's this?

I don't know.

Looks to me
like ice cream--

A very great deal
of ice cream.

Is it yours?

I don't know.

Is it the camp's ice cream?

I don't know.
[ Giggling]

What do you suppose is
in there?

Poop?

Mmm...

Huh?

You may return
to your unit.

As for you--
I think

A little visit
to mr. Bubble is in order.

But I can explain!

Angelica pickles...

"Pickles," what
nationality is that?

I-i-i think
it's american, sir.

American, huh?

We've had trouble
with your type--

An independent streak

Bad for discipline

Bad for morale.

But I don't think
we shall be having

Any more trouble
with you,shall we,
miss angelica pickles?

Oh, no, sir!

We'll make a camper
out of you, angelica.

It won't be easy and it won't
be fun, but we'll do it.

That's what we do here
at ferris island

And, may I say,
we do it very well.

Les!

Sir?

Take miss pickles to...

The kickball field.

[ Gasps]

Les:
don't you want
to play kickball

With your
little friends?

My daddy's a bazillionaire.

Get me out of this

And you'll be rich.

Get out there, kid!

Children, this is angelica.

She would like
to join your game.

She can be on your team.

No way!

Come on,
angelica.

You can be
on our team.

You know
how to play?

Of course I do.

It so happens I'm
an excellent kickball player.

Move in!

She can't kick for beans.

Isn't this fun, angelica?

Yuck.

Ah!

[ Grunting]

It's...

So...

Dumb!

One, two, three!

Face it, kid.

You're never going
to be a camper.

I'm sorry, angelica.

Maybe some kids
just weren't meant
to be campers.

No!

As bob is my witless

I amgoing to be
a camper, I am!

Susie:
left!

Left!
Left, right, left!

Susie:
come on, angelica!

You can do it!

[ Clucking]

You did it,
angelica!

I did, didn't i?

I guess I'm a real
camper now, huh?

Yep, angelica,
you sure are.

I told you

I'd be boss of this place
in a day.

Mr. Bubbles:
angelica pickles

Report to mr. Bubble's
office immediately.

That is all.

Uh-oh.

All right, kid.

Boy:
hey, angelica!

I was wrong.

You area camper.

Bubbles:
I didn't think you'd
make it, pickles

But I was wrong.

Camp has had its effect.

Yes, I believe it has.

Yes, well, be that as it may

I'm afraid there's been...
A change.

A change, mr. Bubble?

Yes, a change of plans.

Les, have them
come in now.

I'm sorry you have
to leave a little early

But we're eating
at uncle stu's.

Leave? But I don't
want to leave!

I'm sorry.

It's out of my hands.

Susie!

They're...

I heard.

We all heard.

Pickles!

Pickles!
Pickles!

Kids [ chanting]:
pickles! Pickles!

Pickles! Pickles! Pickles!

Pickles! Pickles!

Pickles! Pickles! Pickles!

Pickles! Pickles!

Pickles! Pickles...