02x19 - Down the Drain/Let Them Eat Cake

[bunniefuu]

[ Snoring]

[ Gasps]

[ Kids laughing]

[ Squeals]

[ Giggling]

[ Gasps]

[ Screams]

[ Cries]

Oh, tommykins, did
something scare you?

[ Wails]

[ Doorbell rings repeatedly]

Hello,
mr. Chuckie's dad.

You look well.

Can I play with chuckie's toys?

Uh, sure, angelica,
they're in the...

Hi, charles.

Here's his
diaper bag

His toys, his
extra bottles

His storybooks,
his nap time tapes
and his juice.

Good, see...

His animal
crackers

His teething
ring...

Didi, I'm sure
we have everything

Tommy will
ever need.

Um, one
little thing...

We had a trauma
last night.

Tommy's in his
water-rejection stage.

Chuckie went
through that.

And I do know

How to get a kid
to take a bath.

But...

Trust me,
I'm an expert.

It's bad, chuckie,
real bad.

What?
What's bad?

Yesterday, when I took my bath,
I think I almost got...

I almost got...
Sucked down the drain.

You know, tommy

I used to be
just like you.

I used to think

I could get sucked
down the drain.

And then one day
I heard a voice...

A voice that
told me the truth.

What was it, chuckie?

Come, come and hear.

Phonograph recording:
♪ the water's your friend,
the tub is your pal ♪

♪ You can't get sucked
down the drain. ♪

See, isn't it great?

Yeah, chuckie

It's the bestest song
I ever heard.

♪ You can't get sucked...

[ Crash]

[ Babies gasp]

You babies scared of
going down the drain, eh?

No, angelica, why
do you think that?

Why else would you
listen to that dumb song?

It's not dumb,
angelica, it's true.

You can't never

Go down
the drain.

Hah! That's what they say.

But you know what?
They're fibbing.

You cango
down the drain.

[ Gulps]

You can?

Sure, in fact,
I heard about a kid

Just a couple of streets
away from here.

He was a happy kid.

Always ate his vegetables.

Never thought twice
about going down the drain

Until one night
when he was taking his bath.

He tried, but couldn't stop it.

It pulled and pulled him,
and the next thing they knew...

[ Water gurgles]

He was gone.

So don't let them say you can't
get sucked down the drain

Because you can...

Big time.

Suckers.

They bought it.

What do you think now, chuckie?

Is the song true,
or is angelica true?

Chuckie?

Chuckie?

[ Screams]

Now, let's see.

Oh, look.

It's the bath time
puppet friends.

Hello, mr. Dirt.

Hello, mr. Water.

What are we going
to do, tommy?

I'm thinking.

Well, hurry.

I got it.

We're having a
bath tonight, right?

And we don't want to get
sucked down the drain.

So alls we got to do
is plug up the drain.

But tommy, how
do we do that?

Got any clay-doh?

Charles:
hey, mr. Dirt, let me introduce
you to my friend mr. Soap.

Why, thank you, mr. Water.

Any friend of yours
is a friend of mine.

Hand me the stuff.

This stuff is tricky.

You never know
what it's going to do.

Don't worry.

[ Babies scream]

There, we did it.

How do we know if
it's plugged up for good?

There's one way to find out.

Wow! Neat!

Mr. Finster!
Mr. Finster!

Look what
the babies did!

[ Screams]

Uh, is it bad?

Not too bad.

This is a house call,
so it will cost you.

You're a plumber,
plumbers makehouse calls.

Hiya, babies.

Nice try with
the clay-doh.

Too bad it
didn't work.

Yeah, after we take our baths
tonight, we'll be gone forever.

Too bad you
can't take baths

In sand
instead of water.

Don't you think?

Yeah.
Yeah.

And the neat thing
about sand is

It can fit anywhere.

Yeah.
Yeah.

And sand is
so easy to move.

You just put it
in your bucket

And away it goes.

Hey, chuckie,
I got it!

Yeah, me too!

Sand!
Sand!

I hope this
wasn't any
trouble.

No trouble at all.

[ Sighs]

Mr. Water, mr. Dirt,
where are you?

The coast is clear.

Come on.

There, now
there's no way

We can go
down the drain.

Yeah, this sure
was a great idea.

How'd we think
of it anyway?

Ah, here you are.

Meet mister...

[ Screams]

[ Motor humming]

[ In high-
pitched voice:]
gee, thanks.

I mean, thanks
for coming back.

No... Thank you.

Isn't this a great jacuzzi,
cynthia?

Want me to turn the bubbles on?

There it is, chuckie.

After tonight,
we'll be gone.

What's wrong,
babies?

Giving up
already?

We tried
everything.

We clay-dohed
it up;

We sanded
it up.

It's no use unless
you have an idea.

Nope,
you're goners.

Oh, boy, cynthia, this is great.

Those little babies really think

You canget sucked
down the drain.

[ Toilet flushes]

Pretty funny, huh?

Cynthia?

Cynthia!

[ Sobbing:]
oh, please.

Oh, please, just
let her be okay.

Boy, angelica
sure is upset.

Don't worry
about angelica.

She won't care about
some dumb old doll.

[ Angelica screams]

Here you go,
little girl.

[ Screams]

It's true!

It's true!

You canget sucked
down the drain.

Charles:
oh, boys!

It's bath time.

[ Babies scream]

What did I say?

Chuckie, tommy,
come back.

It's us...
I mean, me.

[ Babies panting]

Charles:
boy, this is worse
than I thought.

See, the water's not scary.

The water is
your friend.

Actually, it's
a collection

Of molecules...

[ Telephone rings]

Oh, no, who
could that be?

Now, you two
stay right here.

I'll be
right back.

Hello.

Oh, hi,drew.
No, don't feel bad.

[ Doorbell rings]

Come on in, didi!

Door's open!

Well, so far,
so good, tommy.

Now, if we could just
get out of this bath

Before my dad pulls that plug.

Tommy...

Tommy, what are you doing?

I'm going down there.

You don't have to go down there.

The drain's all plugged up.

The bath's
almost over.

This bath's almost over,
but what about tomorrow's bath?

And the bath after that?

Am I going to be afraid forever?

Works for me.

I got to know, chuckie.

Can you get sucked down
that drain or not?

Oh, no, I can't watch.

[ Gulps]

[ Strains]

[ Giggles]

Hey!

Didi, about this
bath thing...

Charles, you did it.

I did?

You cured tommy
of his waterphobia.

Well, hey, I guess
I did, didn't i?

You are an expert

At getting a kid
to take a bath.

Well, gee, thanks.

Why is everybody
running around?

How come they
dressed us up

In these funny
clothes?

They're getting married.

Getting married?

That's when they
dress you up nice

And give you
a big cake.

A big cake?

Yeah, a realbig cake.

Ooh, I think I'm starting
to like this idea, tommy.

Come on, let's
go get married.

You are so dumb.

You'renot getting married.

We're not?

No, the bride and gloom

Are getting married.

You're just going to watch.

Jeez.

Oh!

Tommy, what's
a "gloom"?

I think... That
might be a gloom.

What? Where?

Oh, tommy...

That's just
your uncle ben.

But I think he's
a gloom, too.

I don't know,
mr. Pickles.

I'm your
brother-in-law

Don't call me
mr. Pickles.

Okay, mr. Pickles.

I can't go
through with this.

It's not losing
your freedom;

It's gaining awesome
responsibilities.

Hey, pal,
you nervous?

He's petrified.

Thank you again

For letting angelica
be our flower girl.

You're my brother's
wife's half-brother.

That makes
you family.

Not the kind you'd
lend money to, but...

Hurry, we're
going to be late.

Chuckie, this is it.

Cake,
here we come.

Charles:
golly, I can't believe didi's
brother is getting married.

It seems
like yesterday

He ran around in
short pants screaming.

That was
only yesterday.

Remember the
bachelor party?

Oh, yeah.

Maybe I'm
making a mistake.

Marriage is
a commitment.

One second, ben.

Tell mcelroy
I'm with yamaguchi.

Tell yamaguchi
I'm with mcelroy.

Don't worry, ben.

Taxwise, it's
the right thing.

Gee, tommy, there
are a lot of people

Looking for cake.

There must be
ten weddings here.

[ Weeping:]
it's all so beautiful.

Jonathan, I can
stall mcelroy

But yamaguchi's
another story.

Do you have a fax here?

Mommy...

Do I look beautiful?

Yes, you do, sweetie.

No, I was talking
to my daughter.

I'm sure you look nice, too.

I don't see
any cake, tommy.

These people
must be here

For something,
chuckie.

Chuckie, look!

Chuckie:
wow!

That's the biggest
cake I ever sawed.

Yeah...

And pretty soon,
we'll be eating it.

Where's it going?

Jonathan,
I have to go now.

I'm at a friend's merger--
I mean, wedding.

I can't believe it,
tommy.

We were that close.

Don't worry,
they'll bring it
back any minute.

Let me get this straight.

All I do is throw
these flowers around

Then everybody says
how beautiful I am?

That's right.

Okay, I can do that.

I can do that real, real good.

And don't call me little girl!

[ Weeping]

Get a hold
of yourself,
charles.

It's just
a wedding.

[ Organ plays "take me out
to the ball game"]

[ Organ plays
"here comes the bride"]

Woman:
she's so
adorable.

Woman:
she's darling.

Hello, nice to see you.

Thank you.

I ambeautiful, aren't i?

Isn't that the brat
who tore up our petunias?

[ Giggling]

Jonathan, you should see her.

She's just like a little angel.

Now, about those contracts,
jonathan...

[ Organ begins intro again]

[ Whispers]

They can't
find the bride?

[ Gasps]

Ladies and gentlemen,
there will be a delay

Due to, uh...
Technical difficulties.

What's going on?

Where's elaine?

Elaine!

Elaine!

Where's the cake?

We could be
waiting here forever.

You're right,
chuckie.

It could be
forever if we wait.

"If"?

We could go find
the cake ourselves.

Tommy, we can't, we...

I know what's
going to happen--

The same thing
that always happens

When you
want to do
something crazy.

First you say
we got to do it.

Then I say we can't

And you tell me crazy
reasons for why we got to

And then I still say no.

Yep.

And you trick me into doing it.

Yep.

So why don't we just

Skip it this time

And I'll just
give it a go.

So there's no bride.

At least, angelica
looked beautiful.

Moshi-moshi,
yamaguchi-san.

How can I possibly
describe elaine?

She's like a
ray of sunshine

In a life that,
unbeknownst
to itself

Had been lived
in total darkness.

Yeah, but
what color
is her hair?

I don't know,
um... Brown?

No, I think
it's more blonde.

Or is it red?

Maybe we should go back.

We can't give up now.

That cake's got
to be here somewhere.

What if it's not?

They may be back there
eating it right now.

Chuckie, look.

Chuckie:
wow!

It's even bigger
than I remember.

Come on.

I don't know if we
should go in there, tommy.

Elaine?

Elaine!

[ Woman screams]

Oops, sorry.

Elaine!

Where could she have gone?

She got cold feet.

Didi disappeared
before our wedding.

Stu!

Charlotte,
where are the kids?

Relax, didi, they're right here.

They wereright here.

Stu!

[ Band playing "hava nagila"]

What's going on,
tommy?

These people
are acting crazy.

I don't know.

I don't see
any cake.

Let's get
out of here.

Come on,
through here.

Don't worry,
they're here.
Oh, let's try in here.

They're not here, stu.

Oh, look, didi,
I caught the bouquet.

He's already married.

Come on.

It is beautiful that you,
willow, and you, elvis

Have--
spiritually--

Agreed to
dine as one.

Together, may you partake
of the feast of life

As we partake of this feast
of -grain granola.

Oh, there's
no cake here, tommy.

You're right, chuckie.

I'm sorry.

I never should
have brought you here.

Who knows where
that cake is now?

It could be a
zillion miles away.

Oh, it's okay.

[ Wheels rolling]

The cake's
not everything.

What's happening?

[ Babies gasp]

The cake!

[ Babies screaming]

Make it stop, tommy!

I can't!

[ Babies screaming]

Jump, chuckie.

Oh, there goes
our cake.

Let it go, tommy,
let it go.

Woman:
what are you two doing here?

Who's she?

I don't know,
chuckie.

She looks so sad.

Did you guys
run away, too?

Not for the same
reason I did, I bet.

Oh, it's not that
I don't love ben.

It's just that...

Well, getting married
is so final.

I just wish ben weren't
so sure of everything.

Isn't he
ever scared?

Doesn't he ever have doubts?

Ben:
elaine!

Elaine,
are you all right?

I'm fine.

I was just scared.

Why, elaine, there's
nothing to be...

I'm scared, too.

I've never been

More scared.

But, gosh, elaine,
I love you.

Oh, ben,
I love you, too.

Ben:
tommy! Chuckie!

What are you
doing here?

Did you guys find
my bride for me?

[ Band playing dance music]

[ Weeping]

[ Weeping]

[ Weeping]

Oh, they're so beautiful,
jonathan.

Now, about those contracts...

What?

What do you mean,
you don't have the paperwork?

It was supposed to be done
a week ago!

You know
something, tommy

I wish we could
get married every day.

[ Burps]