02x03 - The Big House/The Shot

[bunniefuu]

[ Gasps]

[ Beeping noise]

[ Buzzer]

Tommy, you're going
to love this place.

Ah, mrs. Pickles.

Welcome to golden apple
day care

Where our motto is

"An apple a day keeps
the children at bay."

And this must be thomas.

Uh, tommy, actually.

Allow me

To introduce you
to our specialists.

I'm sondra.

I'll be tommy's
playtime counselor.

I monitor psychological
development

And social adjustment.

I'm jonathan.

I'll be tommy's
nutritional coordinator.

I serve only organically grown,
macrobiotic foodstuffs.

I'm bob.

I change the diapers.

It's nice to meet you all.

Your facilities are so...

Secure.

Why, thank you, mrs. Pickles.

You know, there's never been
an escape

From golden apple day care.

Well, I guess
that's it then.

I'll see you
at : , sweetie.

Oh, tommy-wommy, don't cry.

Oh, look, tommy,
a bally-wally.

You can play with this.

One-sondra-niner.

Toilet incident
in sector five.

Do you copy?

One-jonathan-six.
This is one-sondra-niner.

Am proceeding
to little girls' room.

Psst.

Over here.

Who me?

Sh...

Don't let them screws hear.

Screws?

Grownups.

Oh.

You're new around here.

Everybody calls me "wiseguy"

On accounta I know everything
what's goin' on.

Hi. My name's tommy pickles.

Listen, if you're
gonna make it

You gotta know
what's what.

What?

Right.

See that kid over there?

That's big justin.

He's kinda the boss
on accounta he's the biggest.

See that girl over there?

They call her
"the builder"

On accounta she's always
playing with blocks.

And look over there.

They call him "doughboy."

He can make anything
out of play-doh.

[ Crying]

[ Adults murmuring]

What's wrong with that kid?

Oh, don't worry about him.
He's faking it.

That's "crybaby."

He can make
himself cry

Even when nothing's
bothering him.

Hey...

Who's the new kid?

Oh, h-h-hi, j-j-justin.

This here is

T-t-tommy pickles.

Nice ball, kid.

Give it to me.

No!

What did you say?

It's my ball.

You can't have it.

Look, you're new around here,
and maybe nobody told you.

I'm big justin,
and I run this place.

Now, give me the ball.

No!

I said give it to me!

[ Grunting]

Bet you a cookie
justin gets the ball.

You're on.

[ Yelling]

Tommy:sorry.
Diagnosis?

Destructive syndrome.
Procedure?

Positive reinforcement denial?

Withdrawal of snack
gratification?

Change of diapers?

No...

Time out.

[ Gasping]

They're gonna give him

The pen.

A nice change of diapers
might cheer him up.

How long?

Five minutes.

Five minutes?

Don't you think

That's a bit harsh?

Sondra:do it.
Whoa, five minutes.

Those screws

Just keep getting
meaner and meaner.

[ Sighs]

[ Loud ticking]

No, no, tommy.

Noise-making is not part
of... Time out.

[ Ticking]

[ Whimpers]

[ Gasps]

[ Beeping]

Well, tommy-wommy

I think we're feeling
a whole lot

Better now,
aren't we?

Boy, five minutes.

I seen guys crack
after two.

I gotta admit.

You're a lot tougher
than I guessed.

They had snacks
while you was in the pen.

I saved this for you.

Thanks, wiseguy.

Yech!

It's one of them
health food cookies.

It's the only thing
they give us.

I did some thinking

While I was
in the pen.

We're

Listening.

I gotta idea we could
bust out of here.

[ Both gasp]

What?

Well...

A lot of guys
have tried it and...

He had a buddy
who tried to break out.

I can tell it!

He tried to climb out
the window.

They caught him
before he reached the bars.

What did they do?

First, they put him
in the pen

Just to soften him up.

Then, they made him put away
all the toys in the playroom

By himself.

Then, they...
C-called his mom.

They transferred him
to happy valley day care.

We never saw him again.

Well, my plan's different.

We're not gonna get caught

And we're not
gonna get transferred.

We're just

Gonna get out.

I don't know.

Look, I can't promise you much

But there's a few things

I can promise you.

No more naps,
no more healthy cookies

No more screws

And best of all--

No more time out!

No more time out.

But I just need
to know one thing.

Are you with me?

And here's a spinach puree
for you

And here's one for you

New kid wants to meet
behind the swings at playtime.

Pass it on.

Meet behind the swings.

Pass it on.

Behind the swings.

Pass it on.

The first thing
we gotta do

Is get the screws' attention.

Crybaby, that's
where you come in.

Don't worry
about me.

Tears is
my business.

Good.

We're gonna need

Something big and tall.

Builder, that's you.

Think you can do it?

No problem, tommy.

Next, we got to open the lock.

Doughboy, can you
make a key?

Double bolt or single?

Huh?

Never mind.

I can do it.

Okay, here's the plan.

Young tommy pickles

Is quite popular

For a first year.

Yes...

Perhaps too popular.

[ Loud ticking]

I sure hope
your plan works, pickles.

Happy valley's
a tough joint.

Don't worry. It will work.

What are you
going to do

When you get out,
pickles?

I'm looking forward
to sleeping in my own crib.

How about you, wiseguy?

I got a bottle back home
with my name on it.

Yeah, there's
a girl back home

Waiting for me.

I call her, "mom."

All:
yeah.

One-sondra-niner,
we have

A crying situation.

Repeat. We have
a crying situation.

Is it morgan again?

Yes, you better get here fast.

We've got
a full-fledged tantrum.

Bring bob too.

Roger, I'm on my way.

It's too high!

I can't reach it.

What are we
gonna do?

Maybe if I stand
on his shoulders

I could reach it.

[ Grunts]

Ooh!

I-i think I can do it.

It's too soft!

I can't turn it!

Hurry, tommy.

I don't think crybaby can last

Much longer.

Huh!huh!

Hello, sweetie.

Did you have
a lovely day?

Mommy missed you
so much.

I guess he made it.

But what about the rest of us?

He said we'd all get out.

I trusted that baby.

Woman:
justin, sweetie.

Mommy!

I knew tommy
would keep his word.

[ Baby talk]

Oh, look, tommy.
A butterfly.

[ Squishing]

[ Tommy laughing]

[ Rings]

[ Laughs]

[ Ringing continues]

Tommy!

The phone is not
a plaything.

Pickles residence.

Oh, hello, cynthia.

Yes, yes, I remember.

First thing in the morning.

Bye.

Hear that, little man?

You're going to go see
dr. Schachter tomorrow

And he's going to give you
a nice booster shot.

[ Grunting]

Hey, you guys,
guess what?

What?

I'm going

To the doctor tomorrow

To get a rooster shot.

[ Gasps]

A rooster shot?

What's that?

Something to turn you
into a rooster?

No, it's not.

Maybe you'll grow feathers
and a beak.

No, it's...

And lay eggs.

No!

Gross.

No! Not rooster shot--

Booster shot.

Booster shot?

What's that?

The most
terriblest thing

That will ever happen
to you.

What is it, chuckie?

It's not a very pretty story,
but here goes.

First, they put you
in this little room

And make you sit

On a freezing cold
ironing board.

Then...

The doctor comes in

Pretending he's real nice

Like he's your bestest pal.

Hello, chuckie.

Have you been a good boy lately?

Don't you remember me?

I'm your friend, dr. Lecter

And I know just what you need.

Chuckie:
then all of a sudden,
he changes.

He goes from being
a nice old guy who smells funny

To a crazy old guy
who smells funny

And he's got the shot!

[ Screaming]

[ Evil laughter]

And then...

Then what, chuckie?

And then
they hold you down

And they give you the shot
and you cry and cry

And then the doctor says,
"there now.

That wasn't so bad, was it?"

But it is bad, tommy.

Realbad.

It's been nice
knowing you, tommy.

You've been
a good friend

And we'll miss you.

There's nothing
you can do about it, tommy.

Once the grown-ups decide
to give you the shot

It's all over.

Well, it's not
happening to me.

They can take away
all my toys

They can wash my hair
every night

But no matter what they do,
no matter what they say

I'm not going to that doctor.

I'm not going to get that shot.

Never, never, never, never!

[ Elevator bell rings]

Here we are.

See, tommy,
it's not so bad.

You'll love dr. Schachter.

He's very nice.

Good morning,
mrs. Pickles.

Doctor schachter
is expecting you.

I'll call you
when he's ready.

Here you go, tommykins.

And look, here's a little friend
to play with you.

Oh, isn't that cute?

It's almost like

They're actually playing
witheach other

Rather than next to each other.

Yes, but according to lipschitz

There won't be any real
binary interaction

For several months yet.

Oh, have you read lipschitz?

It's my bible.

Excuse me, mrs pickles.

I need you to sign this form.

Certainly.

Hi. My name's tommy.

What's yours?

Hector.

What are you here for?

Something about
a rooster shot.

Oh, no!

We're both in a lot of trouble.

Why?

'Cause it's not
a rooster shot.

It's a booster shot.

What's that?

[ Whispering]

I knew it.

Grown-ups are always doing
stuff like this.

Why can't they
just leave us alone?

There's only one thing
to do.

We got to get
out of here

Before the doctor
shows up.

How long we going for?

I don't know.
Maybe forever.

Well, okay,
but if we're going

To be running away
forever

Let's take our bottles.

Good thinking.

[ Gasps]

Drew, angelica.

Trapped.

Hello, aunt didi.

Hello, sweetheart.

[ Raspberry]

Who's she?

Your worst nightmare.

What are you two doing here?

Oh, angelica's just here
for a checkup.

What a coincidence.

That's what tommy's
here for too.

And to get his booster.

[ Both gulp]

Angel, why don't you play

With tommy
and his little friend

While daddy talks
with aunt didi.

Okay, daddy.

[ Sweetly:]
hi, tommy.

What is you babies
doing anyway?

Um... Nothing.

You don't look
like you was doing nothing.

No, really. Hector and me
was just cleaning up

The play area,
weren't we, hector?

Yeah, yeah.

In the middle

Of the grown-ups' sitting place?

I don't think so.

Come on, tommy.

Tell your cousin angelica
all about it.

I don't like her.

She's got mean eyes.

Well, um...

Come on, tommy.

There's nothing to tell.

We were just cleaning up.

All I ever wanted
was to be your friend, tommy.

Someone to talk to
when no one was around.

Someone to tell stories to

And sleep over
at each other's house.

We'll never be best friends,
will we, tommy?

No matter what I do

No matter how hard I try.

[ Crying]

Okay, okay.

Hector and me are running away

So we don't have
to get the shot.

Oh!

Didn't want to get a shot, huh?

What were you going to do,
escape and join the circus?

[ Laughs]

It's not funny, angelica.

Chuckie got a shot

And it scared
the poop out of him.

Scared?

You got to be kidding.

Only babies are scared of sh*ts.

Yeah, well we're babies,
and we're scared.

Come on, hector.

Oh, no.
You're not going anywhere.

But you promised
you wouldn't tell.

I didn't promise nothing.

Aunt didi! Aunt didi!

Angelica, no!

Aunt didi!

Come on, hector,
let's get out of here!

My advice is to stick
to cds and money markets.

Aunt didi!

Pumpkin, daddy and aunt didi
are talking.

I know, but...

When grown-ups are talking

Little girls and boys
are supposed to wait quietly.

I know, but...

When the grown-ups
say it's okay

Then you can say
whatever you want.

I know, but...

Now calmly, what is it
you wanted to tell aunt didi?

The little kids got away!

Oh, no!

Honey pie, these are
the kinds of things

You should tell the grown-ups
right away.

Cynthia, have you seen our kids?

They were here
just a second ago.

Well, they're gone!

Baby alert! Baby alert!

Two toddlers missing
in pediatrics.

Not in the hallway.

Not in the exam rooms
either.

Seal off the south wing.

Close all stair wells

And whatever you do

Make sure they don't get
into the pathology lab.

Those babies
couldn't have gotten far.

[ Panting]

Now what, tommy?

They got us trapped.

There!

[ Both gasp]

End of the line, short stuff.

[ Screaming]

[ Yells]

Now where, tommy?

That way.

Nurse:
get them!

[ Whistling]

[ Yells]

[ Yelling]

[ Gasping]

You fraidy cat babies

Are in a lot of trouble now.

Here they are! Here they are!

Here they are!

Well, tommy, you certainly made
a mess of things.

I hope dr. Schachter
isn't too upset.

Tommy!
Long time no see.

You sure have
gotten big

In the last couple
of months, kiddo.

½ Inches, doctor.

Whoa, michael jordan,
watch out!

Tommy pickles
is right behind you.

Tommy, don't you remember me?

You're old pal, dr. S.

Aha! I know what you need.

A nice lollipop.

Oh!

That's my boy.

There you go, tommy.

What kind of bandage
do you want?

Good choice.

See, tommy,
that wasn't so bad, was it?

Looks like
your little friend

Had an easy time
with the doctor too.

[ Angelica screaming]

I want my mommy!

Don't cry, sweetie.

It was just a shot.

I know!

I just want my mommy!

[ Crying]

Will she be okay,
doctor?

I hope that shot
didn't hurt her.

Don't worry, mr. Pickles.

She'll be completely fine.

It's just that...

Some kids can take them

And some kids can't.

[ Angelica crying]