06x16 - What's Your Line?/Two by Two

[bunniefuu]

( Snoring )

( Gasps )

( Kids laughing )

( Laughter, applause... )

Hey, I got another joke.

This one will k*ll you.

( Clears throat )

What do you call a giant

With carrots in his ears?

Anything you want--

He can't hear you!

( Chuckling )

( Laughter, applause )

You guys are a lousy audience.

Who else is around here?

( Babies laughing, playing )

Hiya, babies.

( All gasp )

I just flew in
from slots vegas

And, boy, are my arms tired.

( Laughter )

When did you learn to fly,
angelica?

Don't you dumb babies
know anything?

That was a joke.

All:
oh!

Anyways... My mommy says
I'm a borned chameleon.

When I finded out
you can make big moneys

For telling jokes,
I decided to be

A stand-up chameleon
when I grow up.

I'm going to practice
being funny

And you babies
better laugh, or else.

( Clears throat )

What did the ghost eat
at his birthday party?

( Laughing )

That's not the funny part.

( Continues laughing... )

Oh.

( Clears throat )

I scream.

You get it, huh?

"I scream!"

That was the funny part.

( Laughing weakly )

( Laughing )

So, I suppose
you babies all know

What you're going to be
when you're growed up.

I never thinked about it.

I don't know.

Me neither.

For peep's sake,
what are you babies waiting for?

You're all ready one year old.

( Imitating motor )

Beep-beep! Beep...

And you, chuckie finster.

What?

You're practically
growed up.

You got to figure out what
you're good at right away.

If you wait much longer

All the good jobs
will be gone

And you'll have
to do something yucky.

Oh, well, I'm sure there's
something that I'm good at.

( Giggles )

Um, let me see.

Well, mr. Two years old?

Um, well, um, gosh,
i, I know there's lots

Of jobs I'd be good at

But I just can't think
of any right now.

Well, you'd better
hurry up, finster

'Cause you don't
got much time.

Uncle stu,
mr. Chuckie's dad...

Want to hear a joke?

Gee, you guys.

You heard angelica.

If I don't think of something
I'm good at right away

I'm going to have to do
something yucky.

Don't worry, chuckie.

We'll help figure out a good job
for you.

I scream,
you get it, huh?

I scream!

Hey, I got a idea, chuckie.

Why don't you be
a ice cream man?

Hey, yeah!

I'd be good at that.

Ice cream mans get to drive
a truck

And ring a little bell
and wave at all the peoples!

And ice cream man gets to eat
all the ice cream they want.

Yeah.

That's what I'm going to be

When I'm growed up,
a ice cream man!

( Rattling )

Okay, okay, now you guys go play

And I'll ring my bell

And drive by, just like
the real ice cream man.

Okay, chuckie.

Hello.

( Chirping )

( Sleepily ):
wish the ice cream man
would...

( Screaming )
hurry up!

You got to be patient, guys.

Ice cream mans always drive
real slow

Around the whole neighborhood
before they get to your house.

Pretty soon, guys.

( Gasps )

I'm almost there.

( Giggling )

So, what do you
little kids want?

( Giggling )

Um, I think I'll take
chocolate ice cream.

I want the kind
with mushmallows.

I want all the kinds!

( Grunting )

Ooh!

( Spitting )

Uh, I think I changed my mind.

Yeah, we're not hungry
no more.

What's going on,
little guy?

Whoo! We got
a mess here, huh?

Oh, that's okay.

Let daddy clean you up.

I don't think I'd make a very
good ice cream man, you guys.

Don't worry, chuckie.

I'm sure there's lots
of other jobs you'd be good at.

Yeah. How about being
a garbage man?

Too stinky.

Uh, firemens?

Too hot.

Picky, picky.

Hey, chuckie, maybe you could be
a flower man.

Flowers smell good
and they make peoples happy.

Well... Sure.

I think I'd be good at that.

( Humming )

Hi, mister.

Hi, lady.

What kind of flowers
do you want?

What kinds does you got?

Well, we got the fuzzy kind.

( Sneezes )

Okay, well,
we don't got that kind.

But we got
other pretty stuffs.

Gee, um...

Uh, well, I guess
I'll take that.

I want one of those.

Oh, okay.

Don't go away.

( Whimpers ):
ouch.

( Moaning, wailing )

( Gasps )

What's the matter,
chuckie?

( Sobbing )

Aw, you got a boo-boo.

Here, let daddy kiss it
and make it better.

There.

I'll be right over there
if you need me.

And stay away
from the roses.

You're probably
allergic anyway.

Are you okay,
chuckie?

I don't think I want to be
a flower man.

It's too dangerous.

( Giggling... )

Hey, chuckie, maybe you could
try being a library man.

I bet you'd be real good
at that.

I don't know, tommy.

Come on, chuckie,
liberries is fun.

They got lots of tables
to crawl under.

Yeah. And fun stuff stuck
under the chairs!

Well, i... Libraries are nice.

They're quiet and books got lots
of good pictures.

( Kids murmuring softly... )

Look, phillip!

Horseys!

Shh! You guys.

You're supposed to be quiet
when you're in the library.

Yeah, lillian,
stop talking so loud.

I wasn't talking loud,
phillip!

Yes, you were!

No, I wasn't!

Yes, you were.

No, i...

Quiet!

( Both gasp )

Don't got to be so loud,
chuckie.

Yeah, don't you know you're
in a liberry?

Shh!

I like this one, chuckie.

Wow.

I finded the bestest book
of all.

Let's see, um, tommy had the,
um, okay, lil's book was, um...

Uh-oh, I can't read my writing.

( Chuckles )

( Humming )

Excuse me, guys.

Um, when do you think you'll be
bringing back my books?

When we're done reading them,
I guess.

Oh, okay.

I'll just wait over here.

( Humming )

That's long enough!

I got to get
my books back!

Give me, give me.

It's just getting
to the good part.

This job stuff's just
not working out, you guys.

I'm just not good at anything.

( Sobbing )

Did you hear the one
about the vampire

Nobody wanted to kiss?

He had bat breath.

( Sad sigh )

( Giggling )

( Wailing )

( Gasps )

( Panting )

Don't cry, dil.

Oh, it'll be okay.

( Smooches )

( Cooing )

It looks like chuckie's
got things under control.

That's my chuckie.

He's a born daddy.

Aren't you, little guy?

Tommy:
hi, chuckie.

Sorry the library job
didn't turn out so good.

It's okay, guys.

I finally finded out something
I am good at.

Now I know what I'm going to be
when I'm growed up.

What's that, chuckie?

A daddy!

And you know what?

I think that's
the bestest job of all.

Grandpa boris:
many, many years ago

Noah got the word from heaven

That there was going to be
a great, big flood.

It was going to rain
for 40 days, and 40 nights.

So noah built for his family
an ark

And he brought two of every
kind of animal in the world

Onto the ark.

You're going to like
this whole ark thing.

There's going to be birdies
and goldfish.

( Cooing, giggling )

Whee!

Okay, let's get this ark
on the road.

( Panting )

( Quacking )

So, it started to rain.

And for 40 days and 40 nights,
oy, did it come down.

But one day, the sun came out.

( Gasps )

Wow.

Hey, guys,
we made it.

Oh, that's good

'Cause it was getting kind
of stinky in that ark. Whew!

Yeah, and I
don't think

It was the aminals,
phillip.

( Chuckles )

And they all got off the ark
to start a new world.

So, kinderlach, what did you
think of that story?

That wasn't much
of a boat ride.

When my mommy and
daddy took their big boat

They said they got to eat
all the time

And play scuffleboard.

Didi:
dad, could you listen

To my teacher's
association speech?

I need to cut three minutes
and I don't know where.

I don't really know
from speeches,
all right?

Why don't you ask stu?

Oh, I did, but he suddenly
decided to go jogging.

Strange-- didn't even put
on his shoes.

Anyway, it'll just take
a minute.

All right.

Hey, guys, wasn't that
a great story

Grandpa boris told?

Um, the rain part
was kind of scary.

But I guess that noah guy
knowed what he was doing.

Are you kidding?!

He let spiders and skunks
on the ark.

If I was the boss,
I'd do things all different.

Like what, angelica?

Well, for one thing

I'd only bring
the animals I like

Like kitties and ponies.

And nobody would get to
drive the boat 'cept me.

And everybody would have
to bring me cookies

Or else they're not getting
on my boat.

'Cause 40 days and 40 nights
is a long time

And I get hungry

And another thing...

( Gasps )

Boris:
it's a very nice speech.

Now, I would like
to see a man
about a goat.

Actually, we're
not quite done, dad.

There's some charts
and statistics

I'd like to run by you.

Oy vey.

So where did
stuart run to, hmm?

China?

( "Row your boat" playing )

( Engine revving )

( Rock music playing )

There's a slight chance
of rain today

But with the incoming
high pressure system

It might sweep
to the north.

Hmm, slight chance of rain, huh?

( Alarmed ):
oh, no.

Did you babies
hear that?

The man on tv says
it's going to rain

For 40 days and 40 nights,
starting today.

Well, I guess we'll have
to play inside.

Ooh, my daddy gives me
hot chocolate

When I have to stay inside!

Sometimes mommy lets us
wear our jammies all day.

And watch
reptar videos.

Weren't you babies
paying attention?

There's not going to be
no more hot chocolate

Or jammies or videos.

W-w-why not, angelica?

'Cause the whole world's
going to be underwater.

Oh, no!

What are we going to do,
angelica?!

I don't know how to swim.

Me, neither.

Now without water wingies.

I sink like a rock.

Hmm... It is a problem.

I know!

You could build a boat.

That's it,
guys.

We'll build an ark

And take all the aminals
on it, just like noah.

Come on,
afore it starts to rain.

Hold on.

You babies need a boss

Someone older
and smarter than you.

Hmm, well, I think
spike's older than me.

And he's probably smarter,
'cause he eats flies.

Forget that dumb dog.

I'm talking 'bout me.

I'm older and smarter, and I
know all about building arks.

Now follow me!

Maybe being underwater
wouldn't be so bad.

We should be able to build
a good ark with this stuff.

Hmm.

Good, good.

A mirror-- perfect!

This goes in my room
on the ark.

Uh, angelica, we was going to
use that for the steering wheel.

Tommy, tommy.

That's why I'm the boss

And you're the worker,
'cause I'm always right.

What about the time you told us
socks walked around

After we went to bed, hmm?

Or that time you told us
that if we buried candy

It'd grow into a candy tree?

Well, anyways, I'm right about
this, so just do what I say.

Angelica, have you seen
grandpa boris?

When I looked up

From my pie charts,
he was gone.

Sorry, aunt didi.

I've been too busy building
a boat to save us

From drownding
when the big rains come.

Oh, what a good project.

Well, maybe I'll call betty.

There must be someone
who has the time

To hear my whole speech.

Now, you work hard

While I go get
some snacks

So I'll have something to eat
on the boat ride.

( Singing cheerily )

Okay, babies

Let's build a ark!

( Muttering, grunting )

( Groaning )

( Humming )

( Laughter )

Baby.

Hi, baby.

( Laughing )

Okay, you guys.

Let's go in afore
it starts to rain.

Wait, chuckie

We're not building
this ark just for us.

We gots to get two of all the
aminals like noah did, 'member?

Why do we got to get two?

Well, uh... Uh, I'm not sure.

Maybe it's so they won't
be ascared on the ark.

Or maybe so they got
someone to share with.

( Giggles )

That's it, you guys!

It must be so's
everybody gots a friend.

Now, let's go get some aminals.

Come back, you guys.

You're going to get wet.

( Muttering, cooing )

( Gasps )

( Gasps )

( Slurps )

Got you!

( Gasps )

Sorry, guys,
but I only need two.

( Croaking )

( Gasps )

( Laughs )

( Screams )

Ooh, ah, frog, frog!

Good job, chuckie.

I don't have to sit
near the frogs, do i?

Well, I think we gots

Two of every aminal
in the whole backyard.

Now we can go in.

But, tommy, 'member what
your grandpa boris said?

Everybody went on the ark
two by two.

Yeah, doesn't
there have

To be two
peoples, too?

You're right.

Hmm, let's see.

Phil and lil

You can go firstest

'Cause you're
two twins.

Chuckie, we
can go nextest

'Cause we're
two bestest friends.

Oh...

What's the matter, tommy?

Well, what about dil?

There's only one of him.

Well, um...

Maybe dil and spike
can go together

On account of they
both sleep all the time.

Great idea!

Thanks, chuckie.

( Grunts, sounds of struggle )

Phil:
hey, get your big head
out of here.

Lil:
my head is as big as yours!

( Grunts )

Uh-oh. I think
I stepped on a ant.

Oh, that's okay.

I got some extras.

Ooh, ow! Spike,
that was my feets!

( Barks )

( Grunts )

Are we sailing yet?

All:
no!

Puppy!

Oh, great.

Angelica:
thanks for the cookies,
aunt didi.

Sorry about your speech

Being really
long and boring.

Mmm!

What? You babies
got on the ark

Without me?

Sorry, angelica.

There's no more room.

We already had to
let the snails out.

Well, push out some more animals
and let me on.

I'm the boss of this ark,
remember?

But, angelica,
you can't come on.

Why not?

Well, 'cause, like you said

There's only one boss

And everybody gots
to come on in twos.

Like us! Like us!

But, but, I just said that

To be the boss.

There can be two bosses.

You can be boss, too--
just don't tell anybody.

( Wind blowing )

Tommy, close the door,
the rains are coming!

Um, angelica,
we gots to go.

Oh, you dumb babies,
it's not even going to rain.

I made it all up.

( Thunderclap )
( gasps )

Twins:
bye, angelica!

Bye!

Hey, wait a minute.

What's going on here?

( Gasps )

Hey, come back here, babies.

Let me in!

I'm getting wet!

I'm all soggy!

( Quacking )

( Gasps )

( Continues quacking... )

( Duck quacking )