02x09 - Painting for Peanuts / Martha's No Dummy

[bunniefuu]

* Martha was an average dog

* She went... and... and...
(barking, growls)

* When she ate
some alphabet soup *

* Then what happened
was bizarre... *

On the way to Martha's stomach,
the letters lost their way.

They traveled to her brain
and now...

* She's got a lot to say

* Now she speaks...

How now, brown cow?

* Martha speaks, yeah,
she speaks and speaks *

* And speaks and speaks
and speaks... *

What's a caboose?

When are we eating again?

* Martha speaks...

Hey, Joe, what do you know?

My name's not Joe.

* She's not always right,
but still that Martha speaks. *

Hi, there!

* She's got a voice,
she's ready to shout *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* Sometimes wrong
but seldom in doubt *

* Martha will tell you
what it's all about *

* That dog's unique...

Testing, one, two!

* Hear her speak

* Martha speaks and speaks

* And speaks and speaks
and... *

* Communicates, enumerates

* Elucidates, exaggerates

* Indicates and explicates

* Bloviates and overstates
and... *

(panting)

* ...hyperventilates!

* Martha, to reiterate

Martha speaks!
* Martha speaks.

Today's show is
all about entertainment.

You'll hear words like
"pantomime," "rehearsing,"

"routines" and "star."

Nice try.

You've got the wrong show.

Today's show is
about painting.

Listen for words

like "painting," "artwork"
and "sculpture."

You mean I bought these
tap shoes for nothing?

Relax.
You're both right.

Today's show is about
all kinds of arts--

painting and performing,
so enjoy.

Hah, cha-cha-cha-cha!

(school bell rings)

(buzzing)

Hmm. Very realistic
artwork, Alice.

That means
it's very good.

Actually, realistic means it
looks like things in real life.

It looks like something
you could see.

Now, Helen's portrait
of a dog on the phone

is not realistic.

That's realistic,
Mr. Va Dinci.

It's Martha talking to Grandma.

But it's not realistic,

because dogs don't
talk on the phone.

Mine does.

I'll have her
call you later.

Huh?

Oh! Look at that!

A zebra flying a plane
is not realistic.

TD, what is your artwork
trying to tell us?

Well, my artwork is trying
to tell us that I like zebras,

but the legs and feet
are too hard to paint.

Well, you and Helen are
obviously interested in animals.

Would you two like to be a part

of my animal painting
course at the zoo?

Yeah!
Yes!

Will there be zebras?

Yes, there will.

Be at the zoo Saturday
morning, : a.m.

I'm going to learn
to draw zebra feet!

Martha, have you
seen my beret?

Your beret?

I think it's behind
that thing

that holds your paper up
while you paint.

You mean the easel?

Right.
Behind the easel.

You're right.

(groans)

Why are you up so early?

It's Saturday morning.

I'm participating

in the animal painting
course at the zoo.

Participating?

Yeah, you know.

Participate means you do
something with other people.

Or, in this case, animals.

Like the way you participated
in the school play

and the dog show and...

TD:
Helen, hurry up!

The zebras won't wait
all day.

Or maybe they would.

Coming!

Now I feel like
a painter.

Why take a course at the zoo

when you have a perfect
animal model right here?

I know, but I don't
want to bother Skits.

(snoring)

(giggling)

Now I understand why other
animals don't talk to people.

Martha, I was joking.

Oh, who can paint

on an easel that tall?

Maybe we're learning
stilt-painting.

Mr. Va Dinci, which easels
and brushes are for us?

Oh, hi, don't move.

You're just in time.

The animals are about to arrive.

Wow! These must
be the animals

that are going to pose so
we can paint their portraits.

You think any of these animals
could pose better

than, say, oh,
I don't know, a dog?

Shh! Here they come.

HELEN:
Wow!

TD:
There's my zebra.

Here come our artists now.

Wait.

They're the artists?

Well, this is
the animal painting course.

The animals do the painting.

Did I forget to say that?

BOTH:
Uh-huh.

Make room for Jeffy, please.

Whoa!

Hey!

If they're the artists,
what are we?

You help me replace the paint
jars, brushes and paper

on the easels.

I never knew animals
could paint.

Yes, they...

Y-Your dog talks.

I told you.

Does this mean I don't have
to call him on the phone?

Anyway, elephants are known
to be great painters.

HELEN:
Wow! Really?

TD:
That's amazing!

MARTHA:
I did not know that.

MR. V:
I'll show you.

This is Burr-Tillzrum, the
famous Indian elephant artist.

KIDS:
Wow! Look at that! Amazing!

Those are
realistic paintings.

They look just like real life.

(animals grunting)

Elephant artwork sells
for a lot of money.

That's why we're having
this painting course.

The zoo needs money.

Huh?

The more animals we
can find who'll paint,

the better the chances the zoo
won't have to close.

Close?

What would happen
to the animals?

We'd have to find them
other homes.

(gasps)

A zebra could live in my yard!

And I could fit a hippo
under my couch!

HELEN:
I think he means in zoos
or animal refuges,

not in your house.

TD:
Aw...

You can't close the zoo!

I have the best
conversations here.

Nothing personal.

Well, we have one elephant
participating, so we have hope.

Paint, you animals!

Put those brushes on the paper!

Let's see artwork!

If you need a model,
just whistle.

HELEN:
Hey, don't eat the art supplies!

You don't know where
that brush has been!

TD:
Good zebra.

Come back... please?

(chuckling)

Hey, Jeffy!

Whoa, zebra! Whoa!

HELEN:
See? Nice brush.

(crash)

This isn't going well.

(chirping)

Oh, hi.

(chirping eagerly)

Uh, no, no one's using those.

You may as well play with them.

Because I don't think they're
going to be used

to make any artwork.

(sighs)

(Mr. Va Dinci sighs)

Not a great group.

No paintings, and they ate
seven brushes.

I'm not even sure anyone would
buy these as abstract art.

Should I throw away
these scraps of paper?

(chirping)

Oh, uh, he says not
to throw it away.

He's not done.

I think he's building
a nest.

Okay.

How did Jeffy do?

(sighs)

Jeffy's the real disappointment.

I expected him to be the best,

because he's an elephant.

(trumpets sadly)

(school bell rings,
kids chattering)

And we saw a video of an
elephant who painted flowers

as realistic as yours.

So then the zoo animals all
painted pictures

and you saved the zoo?

Well, not exactly.

But we're trying again
this Saturday

with different animals.

I can't wait to see

what animals will
be painting today.

I'll bet it's a lion.

Or maybe a bear.

It's... art time!

That's it?

Just Jeffy?

Where are all the
different animals?

Well, there were supposed
to be others,

but when we gave them
the art supplies yesterday,

we found out they
really weren't artistic.

Alligator.

Tiger.

Snake.

All together, the animals
ate brushes

and the gator ate his easel.

At that rate, we're losing
money, not making it.

It's all up to Jeffy.

(voice echoing):
It's all up to Jeffy...

Up to Jeffy...
up to Jeffy.

(trumpeting)

(trumpeting frantically)

Jeffy! Wait!

Come back!

Uh-oh.

Hmm.

What do you think
they'll put here?

A mall?

(chirping)

Oh, hi again.

We saved that stuff for you.

(chirps)

I knew he was building a nest.

At least he'll have a home
when the zoo's gone.

Why won't Jeffy paint?

Martha could ask him.

She can do that?

Sure. Never hurts to ask.

Jeffy, could I ask you
a question?

(trumpets)

He said yes.

I'd hate to see what
he does for a no.

Jeffy, are you not painting

because you don't have
the right model?

HELEN:
Martha...

I could be... heroic.

Afraid.

Or perhaps you'd like
to paint an abstract.

HELEN:
Just talk to
him, Martha.

Okay.

Jeffy, do you have a problem
with painting?

Why won't you
participate?

(trumpeting)

Uh-huh...

(trumpeting)

Yeah...

He says he wants to participate.

He wants to save the zoo.

But he's too shy

and he doesn't know how
to express his true talent.

That's it? He's shy?

We can fix that.

(trumpeting)

He's been in there
a long time.

(trumpeting
triumphantly)

He's done!

KIDS:
Ohh! Ahh! Incredible!

That's beautiful!

It's perfect!

I'll go get
Mr. Va Dinci!

Jeffy, you saved the zoo
single-handedly!

(trumpets)

I mean single-trunkedly.

Uh, Jeffy?

Your paint jars are still full,
and your brush is dry.

(gulps)

They are!

How did you paint without paint?

How did these peanuts
get in the printer?

(whistling)

Jeffy!

You didn't paint that.

(trumpeting ashamedly)

(trumpeting loudly)

Oh, he says he's sorry.

He didn't want to let everyone
down and he knew we all wanted

a nice picture to sell.

So Jeffy's saved
the zoo?

Not exactly.

Oh! We're doomed.

(trumpeting softly)

He says would it be okay
if he used his true talent

to try to save the zoo?

What does he want to do?

(tooting)

(gasps)
Really?

(trumpeting "uh-huh")

He wants to dance!

ALL:
Dance?

People might pay extra

to see a dancing elephant.

(crowd chattering excitedly)

(dramatic music begins)

(disco music playing)

(feet thumping
in time to music)

(audience squealing
with delight)

(zookeeper chuckles)

We're sold out!

Jeffy's dancing is going
to really help the zoo.

ALICE:
Hey, you guys.

Is that sculpture
for sale?

What sculpture?

(chirping)

You want to buy that bird nest?

HELEN:
That's not a nest.

It's a sculpture of Martha
made out of paper!

TD:
Whoa! That's so cool!

Finally someone recognized a
good model when they saw one.

Could you do a sculpture
of a zebra for me?

(chirping)

Uh, he says the legs
are too hard.

(laughing)

Tell me about it.

Hey, would he make more
for the zoo to sell?

(tweeting proudly)

He'd be happy to.

This may become the most
popular zoo in the state!

(Jeffy trumpets
as disco music plays)

Or at least the weirdest.

(trumpets)

There are lots of different
kinds of paintings

you can paint.

For instance, portraits.

Portraits are paintings
of people.

(clears her throat)

Or dogs.

Landscapes are pictures
of the countryside.

But my favorite style of
painting is abstract painting.

Abstract paintings aren't
a picture of anything.

Abstract paintings are just
shapes and colors.

Abstract paintings can be
all squiggles and lines.

Or my favorite,
drips and splatters.

You really have to go crazy.

Fling that paint!

(laughs)

And there's one other kind
of painting I like...

House painting.

(chuckling sheepishly)

(kids chattering)

So?

Are you guys excited about
Granny Flo's talent show?

Talent show?

Don't any of you read
my newspaper?

ALL:
Uh-uh.

No wonder
circulation's lousy.

Granny Flo is hosting

an old-fashioned programa
de variedades-- variety show.

HELEN:
Wait.

Is it a real talent show?

Or is it just those two guys
who are always trying

to steal Martha?

Oh, it's real, all right.

What's the prize?

Whoever has the best act wins a
year's supply of alphabet soup.

Who wants a year's
supply of soup?

For Martha.

Forget the prize.

I just want to meet
Brian Oceanzest.

(both gasp)

Brian Oceanzest?!

The host
of International Icon?!

Uh-huh.

He's judging Granny's
competition,

and the winner gets to be
on International Icon!

(girls all squealing)

Whoa.

(girls stop squealing)

Hmph.

Hmm...

I've got the perfect
old-fashioned act.

Behold.

* Da-da-da-da-da

(armpit popping
in waltz tempo)

* Da-da-da-da-da

(armpit popping)

I haven't really
rehearsed it yet.

Trust me, Brian Oceanzest is not
going to be impressed

by some goofy armpit serenade.

He's una estrella-- a star.

He's used
to high-class
entertainment.

(disappointedly):
Oh.

High-class entertainment.

Hmm...

(fast band music playing)

Wow!

It's high-class,

it's old-fashioned,

and boy, am I entertained!

You win.

Wow.

I've got to ask Helen.

HELEN:
I can't.

I'm already doing
a routine with Carolina.

Carolina is entering
the vaudeville show?

After what happened
in the school play?

(gulps)
Drat!

I know.

I couldn't believe it, either.

But when I asked
if she was sure, she said...

Are you joking?

Yes!

But why?

Dos razones.

Two reasons.

Brian. Oceanzest.

(squeals)

Carolina? Performing?

What if she gets stage fright
again and can't say her lines?

I already thought
of that.

We're doing a pantomime.

What's a pantomime?

(gulps)
Gah!

Missed again!

Pantomime is when you act
without saying any words.

Like this.

See?

I don't get it.

Neither do I.

Hey! (growls)

I am not taking my
eyes off this floor.

Hmm. I wonder if Alice
needs a partner.

I wish I could,
but I've got an act.

What is it?

I was going to do
a plate-spinning act--

you know, with a lot
of dinner plates

all spinning at once
on sticks.

But it's weird.

It's like no one has any
spare plates in this town.

Yeah. Weird.

My mom says I should stick
to something safer,

so I'm doing
a tap dance routine.

Watch.

(gasps)

(laughs nervously)

Uh, sorry.

Now, that was entertaining.

Hey, TD, what's up?

I wish I had
an entertaining act.

I wish I had a year's
supply of soup.

Hey, Martha,
I've got a great idea.

Let's be partners.

We'll go half-sies
on the soup.

You're on!

So, what kind of old-fashioned
act should we do?

Beats me.

I don't know any.

But I know someone who will--
someone really, really old.

Oh, Santa Claus?

No. My dad.

Careful.

Don't goop up the page.

Sorry.
What is this?

It's a book I got
from my dad

on old-fashioned
stage acts.

Maybe we can find
an act we can both do.

Hey! Juggling! Neat.

Ready? Here goes.

This is going to be hard
without hands.

What can you do
without hands?

Acrobatics? Nope.

Trapeze act!

No...!

Hey, musical glasses.

And you could sing along.

I played "Mary Had a Little
Lamb" on the water glasses once.

(playing "William
Tell Overture")

(groans)

Oh, there's still time.

We'll think of something.

Whoa!
I hope.

Hey! You walked
through our rope.

We're rehearsing here!

I mean, you do know
what that means, right?

Rehearsing?

Um, does it mean

looking silly?

No. Rehearsing means

you do something again and again
until you get good at it.

It's like practicar--
practicing.

You'd get good faster if you had
a real rope, you know.

We can't.
It's pantomime.

There are no ropes
in pantomime.

There's no real anything.

What are you doing?

Pantomime.

Back to rehearsal.

We've got a show
to practice for.

Whoa!

I've got to get
this calendar fixed.

Yikes!

The variety show is tonight!

I know.

And we still don't have
an entertaining routine.

I give up.

We're never going to think
of anything.

What can I get for a nickel?

Bye-bye, soup.

Bye-bye, soup.
So long, stardom.

So long, stardom.

(laughing)

Hey. This might cheer you up.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Sherwood.

Sherwood who?

Sherwood like you
to open the door.

(both laughing)

Hey!

Can you get more nickels?

(audience applauding)

(playing "William Tell"
on glasses)

How about this?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Justin.

Justin who?

Justin time for dinner.

(chuckling)

That's a keeper.

Next, what's next?

This is your big act?

Jealous?

(applause and cheering)

(gasps)

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Vera.

Vera who?

Vera few of these jokes
are funny.

(both laughing)

You can say that again.

And now, those wordless wonders,
Carolina and Helen.

We're on.

(gasps)

(h*nky-tonk piano music playing)

(audience laughs)

(wooden knocking)

(applause and laughter)

And now, a last-minute entry,

the comedy stylings
of TD and Martha.

(applause)

This could be really bad.

They didn't rehearse until...

I don't think
they ever rehearsed.

(sighs)

When do we go on?

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Ben.

Ben who?

Ben knockin' so long
my hand hurts.

Bah-dum, ching!

(audience laughs and groans)

(laughing hysterically)

(all groan)

Sometimes my dog is
so embarrassing.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Sarah.

Sarah who?

Sarah reason
you're not laughing?

(cracking up)

And the winners are...

TD and Martha!

What?!
You're kidding!

You're going to be
a big star.

That was the best
ventriloquist act
I've ever seen.

Ventriloquist?

What's a ventriloquist?

Someone who tells
corny knock-knock jokes?

"Ventriloquist-- someone
who can make their voice seem

as if it's coming
from somewhere else."

(gasps)

That's why TD won.

Brian Oceanzest didn't realize
Martha really was talking.

He thought it was all TD.

Why would he think that?

Oh, I don't know.

Because you're a dog?

Tramposo!

Cheater!

I didn't know
what a ventrila...

ventraly...

Ventriloquist?

Yes! That.

I didn't know what that was.

TD probably didn't, either.

Otherwise he wouldn't have
accepted the prize.

TD:
Oh, I knew.

You did?

Why didn't you tell
Brian Oceanzest?

Are you kidding?

Free soup!

Can I have some?

Half of it's yours,
partner.

The dummy is
half of the act.

I couldn't be
a great ventriloquist

without you.

You're not a ventriloquist.

Martha was talking.

That's not ventriloquism.

If you want to get
all technical.

(groans)

Look, if it was just about soup,

I'd confess in a minute.

But the winner gets to go
on International Icon.

Martha and I could be big stars.

I'm really disappointed
in you two.

Maybe it's not such a good idea
for me to go on that show, TD.

Dogs are terrible liars,
you know.

Yeah, I don't like lying,
either.

And anyway, I couldn't do
the act without you.

I guess we'll have to...

Tell the truth?

Mm-hmm.

(whispering):
Does that mean we have
to give back the soup?

HELEN:
Yes!

BOTH:
Rats!

You're not
a ventriloquist?

But how did you make it
look like the dog talked?

By... having me talk?

A talking dog?

Holy cow! What an act!

You're coming on my show.

(panting)
Wow!

Okay.

But what about TD?

Do you have a talent?

Do I have a talent?

(with armpit pops):
* Oh Suzannah!

* Oh, don't you cry for me

* 'Cause I come from Alabama
with a banjo on my knee! *

(audience applauding)
Whoo, yeah!

Amazing!
(audience cheering)

Hello.

Welcome to "Routine Recap."

We are here to talk about
entertaining routines.

When something is entertaining,

it means it's fun
to do or to watch.

And a routine is something
you do over and over again.

There are entertaining
dance routines...

(yells)

And acrobatic routines.

(laughs)

(mumbling something)

What he said was, "Some
routines aren't entertaining."

Like your morning routines--

brushing your teeth
and combing your hair.

Those are routines, too.

Some things you have to do
routinely are worse than others.

Perhaps it will be
more entertaining

if I perform
a musical routine.

(making armpit pops)
(laughing)

No, it isn't.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Uh...

While he thinks
about that,

let's see some of
those words again.

Pantomime is when you act
without saying any words.

Portraits are paintings
of people.

When something is entertaining,

it means it's fun to do
or to watch.

Abstract paintings aren't
a picture of anything.

Abstract paintings are
just shapes and colors,

squiggles and lines,
drips and splatters.

ALL:
Bye!

To dig up some more fun words
and game
* Who's that dog? *

* Who's
that dog? *

* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *

That dog is Casey.

My name is Jasper.

My name is Rhea.

And this is Casey.

Casey works for my dad.

My dad's a farmer.

She helps on the farm.

Yes.

RHEA:
A farm is a place
where people grow food.

JASPER:
She's a farmer's helper
that's a dog.

But I don't think
she gets paid, like,

in dog money or human money.

She'd probably eat
the human money.

She catches mice
and voles and...

And rabbits.

JASPER:
She scares away birds.

(barks)

BOTH:
Casey is very smart.

JASPER:
Casey learned to not walk
in the beds.

A bed is a area.

It's full of plants.

Sometimes she'll work
and sometimes she'll play.

(kids giggling)

* She's that dog... *
* Dog, d-d-dog, d-dog. *