02x08 - Sir Bricks-A-Lot
Posted: 09/26/22 08:03
Look at him.
Owen's sleeping like a baby.
Actually, he's sleeping
like an adult person on a Saturday.
Babies are terrible at sleeping,
but you wanna eat their little faces!
Anyway,
I'm glad he's getting some rest.
He's had a tough week.
First, there was the toilet issue.
Who... What? Why would someone
throw a toilet out a window?
Then there was the trash fire.
I should have called it a Segway fire.
More exciting.
I don't know why I didn't call it that.
And then there was the drunk possum.
[Owen] Wait, did it drink rum?
Just walk around the tree, buddy.
Walk around... Walk around it. [sighs]
But Owen handled all of
that 'cause he's the best.
Actually, everyone inside
the castle had a rough week.
I'm gonna go fast. Try to keep up.
Instead of writing about Bitsy
and the mayor's villainous plot,
Paige had to write
an article on the top
ten best places in
the city to get toast.
Ow! Oh. Cut my mouth.
Stupid toast.
Poor Molly had a hard week with
her art teacher who just doesn't get her.
- Hmm.
- What do you mean, "Hmm?"
I'm wishing it was more dimensional.
Mm-hmm.
Wishing you were more dimensional.
- What's that?
- Nothing.
Wait, did you just spill
coffee on my drawing?
Uh, no.
And Cole.
He's been kinda wishing that
he had somewhere to play outside
that wasn't a public park.
[man] I'm always doing stupid
stuff? You're always doing stupid stuff.
- [woman] Tell that to your haircut.
- [man] At least I have a haircut.
- [woman] What?
- [man] Nothing. Love your hair.
- [man] What are you looking at?
- I'm gonna leave.
Okay, that covers it. Bad
week. Everybody's sleeping.
It's not weird that I'm watching them.
Wait. One more thing.
But it's not... It's not a
big deal at all. Like at all.
Kingsley University offered Owen
a job. Yes, that Kingsley University.
The fancy, smart, rich one up in
Connecticut that thinks it's so great.
Anyway, they want Owen
to be the Olmsted and Vaux
of a huge plot of land they
acquired next to campus.
Olmsted and Vaux designed Central Park.
[whispers] Look how old-timey they are.
Anyway, Owen isn't even
remotely considering taking the job
and moving to a different
city to start a new life,
because why would he, right?
He's not a dum-dum head. -[yawns]
[whispers] The lady from the
university is calling today at : .
Owen has to tell her if
he's taking the job or not.
I'm gonna gracefully hide in this tree now.
[yawns] -[Paige] I've been thinking.
[shouts] -Sorry. Did I scare you?
I thought you were asleep.
I was. Then I woke up and
started talking 'cause I'm alive.
Anyway, I've been thinking.
Maybe we should talk more
about this Kingsley thing.
I know you've had job offers before,
but this could be really good for us.
I know! Sorry, did I yell that?
But do we really wanna move?
Babe, they're talking
about selling the park,
and they froze out the Park
League. They're all over you.
Maybe you could work somewhere
that actually appreciates you.
Plus you'd be designing this
new park. It would be kind of yours.
Think about it.
I am thinking about
it. It's stressing me out.
I've been grinding my teeth all night.
Is that what that was? Oh,
good. I thought we had termites.
And there's other stuff
they're throwing at us.
Free housing in a nice
house with a backyard
and free private school for the kids.
Damn, it's breathy in here.
Scooch over. I'm getting
in. Please don't be naked.
So, I talked to Brendan,
and we decided we could make
things work long-distance after we move.
It's not really long-distance. Connecticut.
Don't say "Connecticut" at me.
It's long-distance if I
say it's long-distance,
which is romantic and cool.
Can we stop saying we're
moving? Nobody said we're moving.
Before we move, there's
something we have to do.
- There it is again.
- I tried to bring this up last night,
but it was job talk, job talk,
so this is what I wanted to say.
Enrique is telling me that sometimes
people in New York give away
all their Stackster pieces for free.
On the Internet, and sometimes
it's a lot of them. Like a lot.
They give them away for free? Really?
Yeah. They basically post a picture
online and say, "Come and get 'em,"
the way I imagine dating apps work.
I love free. We could
always use more Stacksters.
For our father-son builds?
Our little hands holding little
blocks building big, imaginary worlds?
Yes!
Owen, we should talk more. The
lady from Kingsley is calling at : .
Yep, yep, yep. Just
gonna go get my computer
and look into this Stackster thing.
Real quick. -So quick.
Won't take long. Just gonna put on pants.
You know? I won't even put on pants.
[sighs] That's my guy.
All right, scroll down.
Good. Keep scrolling.
I know how to use a computer.
Mmm, there. Click there. -Clicking.
Click better. Holy brick. -Dear Lord.
[Cole] So many Stacksters. Message them.
I am, I am. "Are your Stacksters
still available for pickup?" And send.
And now we wait.
There's a good chance
they already gave them away,
so let's try not to get our hopes
up... Oh, my God, she wrote back.
That was so fast.
"Come get them. Here's
our address." Oh, my God!
Yes, yes! -What's happening?
We hit the mother lode. We'll be back.
Dad, pants? -No time, Dad.
- We've got bricks to pick up.
- I forgot I wasn't wearing pants.
Come on, Molly. He was about to
leave the house with no pants on.
- You were gonna let me?
- Yes. Would have been incredible.
Sorry. We're not gonna get that
chance again for a while, huh?
No.
This is the fastest I've
ever driven through the park.
I don't want anybody to
get those bricks before us.
If they do, you run them
down. You run them down!
I will. I'll do it.
♪ We got the bricks, we got the bricks ♪
♪ We got the bricks ♪
[riffing] ♪ We got the bricks ♪
♪ We got... ♪
She just gave you these?
Yeah. Her son went to
college, so these are ours now.
You guys are cold-blooded.
That poor kid probably doesn't
know she gave them away.
- Can we just build, please?
- Yep, yep. Let's do it.
Okay, can we talk first?
This job offer is potentially maybe
more important than Stacksters.
Bite your tongue. -Owen, we need to talk!
Okay, okay. We're gonna
talk. We're gonna talk so much,
but I just have to build first
for an indefinite amount of time.
Maybe there's a comparison
here. Think about this.
Sometimes in life, somebody
offers you something nice,
and you just have to take it.
Like these Stacksters.
This morning, we didn't
have them, and now we do.
AKA when someone offers
you something nice, you take it.
Don't make the Stacksters
about this job offer.
That gives me an idea. Let's make
these Stacksters about this job offer.
No. -This is a great, maybe perfect idea.
I think we should all build
the lives we could have
if Dad was gonna take this job.
No. You can't tell somebody what to build.
Ooh, I like it. Yes, we get to build our...
[whispers] amazing, perfect future lives.
No, there's no rules. You
build whatever you want.
I love it. I'm gonna build my...
[whispers] perfect future life.
And then we can present our
perfect future... [clears throat]
I'm not gonna do the whisper thing.
Then we can present our perfect future
living-in-Connecticut-and-loving-it
lives to each other.
- All right, let's build.
- Build whatever you want.
All right, let's spread
out. I need more room.
Farther away from all of you. I love you.
Oh, my God, I did so good. I'll go first.
Can we just build? -Nope.
Our new house is just off the
prestigious campus of Kingsley University.
My room in our new house is simple.
A mattress on the floor, art books
for genius artists scattered about.
Wait, so you're a
gymnast in your future life?
No, ignore her outfit. I thought she
was cute, and she kinda has my hair.
Anyway, shush.
To make money, I take a job
as the janitor at the university.
Wait, you get a job in this scenario?
You're not going to school or...
Lot of questions during
my future life presentation.
Sorry.
Hi. How's it going? Yep, just
the janitor. No need to talk to me.
That's all the time we have
today in super-advanced art class.
For extra credit, what I've
written here on the chalkboard
is a description of a drawing
that's nearly impossible to draw.
If you could somehow
manage to draw this drawing,
you would be in the rare company
with the likes of Monet, Van
Gogh and that MAD magazine guy.
Uh, good luck. Class dismissed.
Whoa, there's no way I could
draw that. That's impossible.
You'd have to be a super
double art genius to draw that.
Come on. Let's go get a really expensive
lunch with our rich daddies' money.
[Molly] That night, I was
all alone, mopping the hall.
- [Owen] You're still mopping?
- [Molly] It's a lot of mopping, okay?
But I didn't come here to mop.
I came here to do art. If I
could just believe in myself.
♪ Oh, the blank page is so frightening ♪
♪ Like a tiger staring back ♪
♪ I've got my colors here beside me ♪
♪ To guide me and hide me From the attack ♪
♪ Sometimes I feel like I can see things ♪
♪ Things that no one else can see ♪
♪ And I just wish That
someone else could tell me ♪
♪ That they see them too ♪
♪ But then again It's
kinda cool that it's just me ♪
♪ I know that I could be ♪
♪ I could be something amazing ♪
♪ If I just let myself be free ♪
♪ Create the things that amaze me ♪
♪ If I could paint the world
The way I wanna see the world ♪
♪ Then that's the world
That I would wanna be in ♪
♪ Take all the light that glows in me ♪
♪ And shine it like a sun ♪
♪ I think I could be
Someone to believe in ♪
♪ I'm always cleaning up these messes ♪
♪ Beautiful patterns on the floor ♪
♪ I wish this mop could
be A gigantic paintbrush ♪
♪ So I could show them all
That I've got more in store ♪
♪ I know that I could be ♪
♪ I could be something amazing ♪
♪ If I just let myself be free ♪
♪ Create the things that amaze me ♪
♪ If I could paint the world
The way I wanna see the world ♪
♪ Then that's the world
That I would wanna be in ♪
♪ Take all the light that glows in me ♪
♪ And shine it like a sun ♪
♪ I think I could be
Someone to believe in ♪
♪ If I could paint the world
The way I wanna see the world ♪
♪ Then that's the world
That I would wanna be in ♪
♪ Take all the light that glows in me ♪
♪ And shine it like the sun ♪
♪ I think I could be someone ♪
♪ To believe in ♪
[Molly] At night, I sneak out of the house
to hang out with my dumber,
slightly violent townie friends.
Hey, Molly. We should
beat up that guy over there.
He bumped into me, and said,
"Excuse me," but in a weird way.
Let's fight that guy. Right? Molly.
Sorry, I was doing a drawing in
my head. Nah, let's not fight him.
Can we finally go beat
up your old art teacher?
He's so stupid not to
get how art smart you are.
You know what? I'm gonna get out of here.
Are you serious? We
don't get to do fighting?
- I gotta go see about a chalkboard.
- Whoa, I just got chills.
The impossible drawing. Here we go.
"Draw a turtle playing basketball
underwater, Garfield style."
You can do this, Molly.
Wait, that's the impossible
drawing? What's Garfield style?
Exactly, Mom. What is it?
Seems impossible, doesn't it?
I guess.
[Molly] Word got out that the
impossible drawing had been drawn,
and people packed the lecture
hall to find out who had drawn it.
It's beautiful. Someone in
my art class is an art genius.
Go on, step forward. Show yourself.
- Don't be shy. Step forward.
- [Molly imitates whirring]
It's not time to clean
really, young janitor girl!
I'm stepping forward!
What? Your floor buffer is
too loud. I can't hear you.
Sorry, I was trying to multitask.
I said, I'm stepping
forward. That's my drawing.
[people gasp]
But you're... -The janitor? Yeah. I know.
Turns out I can draw
the crap out of a turtle
- and buff the crap out of a floor.
- How did you learn how to do this?
I get it from my dad, I think.
He's a genius in his own way.
He made the decision to move
here, and he realized all of his dreams.
He built the park here, and
it won number one best park
and that inspired me last night.
Let's hear it for my dad.
[cheering, applause]
[Molly] And that's when my life changed.
My ability as a visual artist
had finally been recognized.
After word got out that I had
successfully drawn the impossible drawing,
I was asked by France to hang
some of my work in the Louvre.
The country of France asked you?
Yeah. I don't really have time to explain
how the whole art world works, Cole.
Where was I? Oh, yeah.
I was leaving the Louvre, which
is pronounced Louvre, Mom.
- [Paige] What?
- And I ran into my old art teacher.
He was in line for my
show. He looked like crap.
He didn't realize it was me. I
spilled coffee on him, and it felt great.
The end. You're welcome.
If we don't move to Connecticut, I'll
never get my work put up in the Louvre.
I don't think they do that. Never mind.
Why am I saying that? Sounds
great. It's a good story, Molly.
So should we start packing? -Uh, no.
I wanna show my
future life. This will help.
Our new house is the perfect
place for me to live and work.
I wake up next to my handsome husband.
He sleeps in now because at his
new job, he gets to make his own hours.
He's stress-free and
his muscles got really big.
- [Molly] Because he's a wrestler?
- No. He's just super strong now.
And you're a mermaid? -Yes, I'm beautiful.
I just... I can't walk
anywhere, 'cause I have a tail.
- Here. Swap these out.
- That is better. Thank you.
Every morning, I wake
up with my human legs,
have a sensible breakfast,
and drive through the country.
After we moved, I realized
I was never gonna crack
the big Bitsy-Mayor corruption
piece I was working on,
so I wrote fiction, which
I hadn't done in years,
and they published
the first thing I turned in.
They were like, "We have
zero notes," and it was a hit.
I got a -book deal. My
detective series "Hunter Gatherer"
was about a woman detective
named Hunter who "gathered" evidence.
[Molly] I have a note. -[Cole] I do too.
[Paige] If it's about the
title, I don't want to hear it.
- [Cole] Never mind.
- [Molly] It's not a great title.
♪ Cruising down the road
And look at me go now ♪
♪ I'm an author Just
like Jodi Picoult now ♪
♪ Hit detective series ♪
♪ With Reddit fan page theories ♪
It's the Doctor!
♪ Former journalist
That's got a new headline ♪
♪ "Local woman hits paperback big time" ♪
♪ Going on my book tours ♪
♪ Hitting all the famous bookstores ♪
Cramp, cramp!
♪ Check it out, here's a different Paige ♪
♪ Check me out while I turn the page ♪
♪ Living that good life ♪
♪ Knew-that-I-could life ♪
♪ Now, now, now ♪
♪ Look at how now we meditate ♪
♪ Wow, 'cause we're
now On a different wave ♪
♪ Startin' our days with yoga and sage ♪
♪ Like ow, ow ♪
Not flexible yet.
♪ When I get a call From
Hollywood's number ♪
♪ I pick it up, they say "What up? ♪
♪ And we wonder would you be
ecstatic If your books were cinematic?" ♪
♪ Cut to: I'm on a set And
giving notes on the screenplay ♪
♪ I'm pounding lattes From
the crafty caffeine tray ♪
♪ Acting nonchalant, 'kay That
we somehow cast Beyoncé ♪
♪ Every few months, we take vacations ♪
♪ That's where I get my inspirations ♪
♪ Deep-sea dives Looking fish in the eyes ♪
♪ Like whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Then we go to the dolphin encounter ♪
♪ Swimming with dolphins,
Nothing profounder ♪
♪ Setting them free 'Cause
they belong in the sea ♪
♪ Like, go, go ♪
[Molly] This took a weird turn.
[Paige] ♪ Never thought I'd make
The New York Times Best Seller List ♪
♪ Twenty-seven times ♪
♪ Never thought my life could ever
be Looking like a Nancy Meyers film ♪
♪ Where everything's cream, cream, cream ♪
♪ The kitchen's so clean, clean, clean ♪
♪ There's always pastries on the counter ♪
♪ Like, how did they get there? ♪
♪ How does she have the time to bake? ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm amazing ♪
♪ No life looks perfect on the page ♪
♪ I'm grateful for every former stage ♪
♪ And life can be rocky
But look where it got me ♪
♪ Now, now, now ♪
♪ Cruising down the
road And look me go now ♪
♪ I'm an author Just
like Jodi Picoult now ♪
Ah, Connecticut. It's so beautiful here.
I'm glad my husband is extremely
talented and that we moved here.
Aw, look at that bunny rabbit in the road.
Okay, move out of the
way, little bunny rabbit.
[honks horn] -You gotta move.
Oh, my God, bunny, move.
Why aren't you moving? [screams]
Wait. You crashed your car
in your own story about how
amazing your life is gonna be?
Yes. Don't do this. You'll see.
I tried to escape, but couldn't.
Eventually, I lost consciousness.
[eerie music plays]
- What the...
- Oh, good. Sleepyhead's finally awake.
Who are you? Why did you strap me down?
Oh, you dirty bird. What about a
little thank you for saving your life?
Thank you, Margarett. -Thank you, Margaret.
No, it's Margarett with two T's.
Margarett? -No.
M-Margarett? -Not even close.
Should we just go ahead
and undo these straps?
It's for your own good.
You're too weak to stand up.
[Cole] Mom, this feels kinda dark.
Stop interrupting. This woman
is obsessed with me. It's great.
Why is that great?
I always wanted to have
a stalker. I told you that.
You did? -Yes.
A literary stalker is the
ultimate compliment.
Don't you want a park stalker? -Uh, no.
What?
[Margarett] I found your
skinny computer in your car,
and I found the next Hunter
Gatherer manuscript, and I read it.
Oh? -I had some thoughts.
Wouldn't it be better if Hunter
met, say, an older woman
with a quirky sense of humor,
and she helps Hunter solve a case.
And her name could be Annie Hoo-Dunnit.
She could end up getting her own
series of books too. Do you love it?
You know, Hunter's kind of a loner.
Usually, but in this one,
maybe Hunter's toe is broken,
and she needs a little help getting around.
What do you mean? Ow, ow, ow, ow.
So, yeah, maybe she just
hasn't met the right friend yet,
and maybe Annie
Hoo-Dunnit's catch phrase is,
"Who done it? You done it." -[Paige groans]
I like it. I like it a lot.
Good, you let go of my toe.
I'm gonna start thinking now.
Then you'll write it. Here. With me.
'Cause I've got a bunch of ideas,
and you've got a bunch of toes.
Who wants banana yogurt?
Uh... -You do.
I do? -I'll get it. You start thinking.
This is so fun. We're writing.
[Paige] So, there I was, strapped
to the chair. Full of banana yogurt.
Being forced to write on an old
computer with a dusty old mouse.
[blows]
I played along. Margarett
checked on me constantly.
Hello. How's it going?
So good. So good.
So exciting. Do you need to poop?
No. -I do!
[Paige] And every second I was
alone, I spent plotting my escape.
[grunting]
But then, I got lucky.
Behind the document
was an AOL login screen.
All I had to do was
figure out the password.
I think I know what AOL is. I've
heard tell of it from yesteryear.
Some young, vibrant people
still have an AOL email address.
Every time Margarett would
pop her head in the door,
I'd switch the window back to
the document before she noticed.
I needed more time.
[AOL Voice] You have one more
password attempt before you are locked out.
[Paige] Think, Paige. You're so
smart. You can figure this out. Of course.
[dial-up tone]
[AOL Voice] You did it. You're online.
I gotta email Owen. "Crazy
old lady kidnapped me.
Her name's Margarett with two
T's. I don't know if that's relevant.
Anyway, I'm in a cabin. Don't
know the address. I see trees.
Uh... Maybe birch trees?
You're the tree guy. I
don't know. Come quick."
And send. Oh, no, this mouse. Ugh.
[groans]
- Who wants another banana yogurt?
- [dial-up tone]
What's that sound? [gasps]
Is that my AOL you're on?
No AOL, you don't.
Somebody's been a
very naughty little writer.
Connection lost. So sad. Too bad.
You take this, and I'll take
this. Now, get back to work.
[Paige] She left me
there with yogurt in my lap.
I had no idea if my email went out.
I was afraid all hope was lost.
I had a lot of lap yogurt that night.
[gasps] Owen!
I came as quickly as I could.
I didn't even put on pants.
[Molly] You got Dad to
leave the house without pants.
I got the email. Really great
tree identification, sweetie.
- Made it super easy to find you.
- Thanks, babe.
Let's get out of here.
No one's going anywhere.
Come at me, Mr. Hot Legs.
[Paige] Owen wrestled
Margarett to the ground.
Please don't make me wrestle
an old lady in my underwear.
You do that every night. Okay, fine.
You only wrestle for a few seconds,
and then we jump out
the window, and we're safe.
What a story. Who wouldn't
wanna move now, huh?
Totally confusing. -What?
It sounded really scary and bad.
I feel like if I tell it one
more time from the top...
Oh, no. No, thanks, Mom.
It's my turn, and I've been
building while you were talking.
I mean, listening also.
But Dad, I think, is
gonna be really excited
about some of the stuff
I was doing over here,
- and now he's ready to come to my world.
- Nope. Don't like this.
Dad, shh. [clears throat]
After Father does the right thing
and accepts the position as top park
design person at Kingsley University,
I had my very own, I
believe the term is, backyard,
and it was glorious.
[laughs] I love my dad.
What's that, son? I came out to play.
Oh, hey, Dad. I was
just yelling that I love you
while standing in our new backyard.
That's nice. You're my favorite child.
The other one's fine, but you're perfect.
Should we hold hands
and spin around and laugh?
Yes. [laughing] -[laughing]
- This is ridiculous.
- [Paige] Hey, I wanna get in on this.
[Cole, Paige] Yay!
Okay, okay. Back to the story.
Mom does have an
errand to do. [clears throat]
Kinda focusing on Dad here right now, Mom.
[Paige] Right, right. I'm gonna
leap over this fence and go do judo,
'cause they have that here.
What should we do with this backyard,
Dad? We spun around, we laughed.
Do you have any ideas?
You always have great ideas.
Actually, I was talking to a
professor in the science department,
and he said they have a rocket
ship they don't need anymore.
You wouldn't want a rocket
ship in our backyard, would you?
Sounds boring. What else you got?
Just kidding. That's amazing.
Like a real rocket ship?
We're at Kingsley University now,
son. Of course, it's a real rocket ship.
[both] Yay!
[Molly] Oh, my God.
No. Please skip that part.
There's one thing.
My rocket scientist professor friend said
it still has a little fuel in the t*nk,
so whatever you do, don't
press the launch button, okay?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. For sure.
Yeah. Totally. Yeah, no, definitely.
I'm in spac...
Whoo! That was incredible.
Well, got that out of my system.
Happy I'm back, and no one will ever know.
Good night, rocket ship. -Nighty night.
[Cole gasps] Are you an alien? -Yes, sir.
Oh, you don't have to
call me sir. I'm just a boy.
I'm a big boy. Wait, you speak English?
A little bit. -Oh, my God, you're so cute.
I jumped on when you passed my
planet. You seemed like a cool dude.
- What do I feed you?
- I only eat once a year,
but I need to play all the time. Yay! -Yay!
Everything was great, that is,
until the government showed up.
[knocking]
I'll get it, 'cause I'm so relaxed
and happy in this new life,
I don't mind getting up. -Uh-oh.
I work for the government. Have
any of you seen an alien lately?
We wanna do experiments
on him and poke him a lot.
He won't like it, but it'll be good
for science. Maybe. We don't know.
Uh, no. -Nope. No. Mm-mmm.
[Cole] No. Uh-uh. -[Owen] No. No.
Okay, bye. If you see him, let us
know because we're looking for him,
and we really wanna poke him a lot.
- Oh, no, Norg. What do we do?
- I'm frightened.
We're gonna get you out of here.
This was a fun playdate,
but we gotta get you home.
We don't want you to get experimented on,
no matter how many diseases
your blood might be able to cure.
Twenty. I think it's .
Oh, wow, that's a lot.
Did I say ? I mean zero.
Let's get you home.
[Cole] So, we fired up the
engines for one last flight
in our backyard rocket ship,
but then suddenly, who
showed up, but the army.
Wait, we can use other toys?
Yeah, you could've, but you didn't. I
don't know what that says about you.
They had us in their sights.
If we took off, they would've
blasted us out of the sky.
It was up to Dad to talk to the army.
Cole, let me talk to them.
I'm feeling really relaxed and
well-rested because I took this job.
I know. Your skin looks fantastic.
Let me see if I can
make the army be relaxed.
[Cole] Dad was amazing.
In just a few minutes, he
had the army so chilled out.
Yay!
[Cole] Norg got home safely, and
everyone lived happily ever after
unless you had one of those diseases
that Norg's blood could have cured.
The end. [clapping]
It's not a contest, but I think I win.
If it was a contest, you'd be
disqualified for too much spinning
and using other toys.
I'm not sure why you were allowed
to do that. We're all mad at you.
- I thought it was beautiful, honey.
- You are correct.
Dad, what about you? Where you at?
The lady's calling in
minutes. Are we moving?
I don't know. I don't know.
Can I show you what I built?
This is the new park
at Kingsley University.
[gasps] -[Birdie] What the... [screams]
[Paige] It's incredible.
[Cole] My rocket ship was good too.
It was great, Cole.
Dang it. Can't get this tree
to stay up. It keeps falling.
Dad, you're really good at
building with these things.
I know, right? Crap, tree
fell again. Here we go.
All right, here's me walking
through my park, feeling good.
♪ We needed the lows To see
how high our hopes could climb ♪
♪ But now we know Just
what we want to find ♪
♪ So look at me now
I'm living idealistically ♪
♪ I found my bliss even unrealistically ♪
♪ We're out of the
park I'm out of the dark ♪
♪ No worries following me ♪
♪ I'm strong as a mule ♪
♪ I'm living by my own rules ♪
♪ No shoes, no shirt No problems, you see ♪
♪ This tree is a pith It's
kind of hurting my vibe here ♪
♪ It's starting to k*ll What I
am trying to describe here ♪
♪ 'Cause everything else
I've built is so impeccable ♪
♪ Ugh, stupid tree I'm
gonna k*ll it with chemicals ♪
♪ Then I chop it down ♪
♪ And put it in the wood chipper ♪
♪ Cut this tree up Like
I'm Jack the Ripper ♪
You okay, Dad?
What? What? Yeah, I'm just processing.
♪ We all need the lows To see
how high our hopes can climb ♪
♪ And now we know And now we know ♪
♪ Just what we're gonna find ♪
♪ We can't know if life Will
hand us happiness and love ♪
♪ But what we got, the life we
got We've gotta be proud of ♪
♪ Wherever we land ♪
♪ There'll still be
trees That won't stand ♪
♪ Our troubles won't disappear ♪
♪ Just 'cause we don't live as near ♪
♪ They'll be following you ♪
♪ So better to follow through ♪
♪ With all the loose ends And old friends ♪
♪ You've gotta make amends with all ♪
♪ 'Cause problems follow you ♪
♪ And memories follow too ♪
♪ A creepy stalker Named
Margarett might follow you, yeah ♪
♪ But look behind you ♪
♪ Your family's following you ♪
♪ There's only one thing to do ♪
♪ You've got to follow ♪
♪ Through ♪
I don't wanna take the job. -Oh, thank God.
Oh, feels good. -Phew.
What? -I thought I wanted a different life,
but I think I was just wanting that for you
because you seem so stressed these days.
But to be honest, I...
I love it here, and I...
I could never walk away from the paper
and the life we have here
and the story I want to write.
And, hey, maybe
somebody will stalk me here.
That's the spirit, hon.
I don't think I really
wanted to move either.
There's probably a really annoying
art teacher in Connecticut too,
who spills, like, chili on everything.
- I don't know what they eat there.
- Probably chili.
And I don't wanna leave
New York. I love it here.
I have one of those shirts
that says, "I heart New York."
They don't just give those out.
I have one too, and you know
what? I do heart New York.
I thought I wanted my own backyard
but what kid can say that
Central Park is their own backyard?
I'm the only kid that can say that.
Um, hello?
Plus, they might have
spaceships in Connecticut,
but do they have
squirrels? I don't think so.
That's right, no squirrels in Connecticut.
[Birdie groans] Out here.
I knew the whole time that
he wasn't gonna take the job.
Did I seem scared? I was not
scared. I was totally confident.
Why did I fall out of a tree? Uh,
physical comedy. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna lay here for a little while.
Not because I'm hurt. I'm totally fine.
[Paige] ♪ Every few
months, we take vacations ♪
♪ That's where I get my inspirations ♪
♪ Deep-sea dives Looking fish in the eyes ♪
♪ Like whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Look at how now we meditate ♪
♪ Wow, 'cause we're
now On a different wave ♪
♪ Startin' our days with yoga and sage ♪
♪ Like ow, ow ♪
Cramp, cramp!
♪ Then we go to the dolphin encounter ♪
♪ Swimming with dolphins
Nothing profounder ♪
♪ Setting them free 'Cause
they belong in the sea ♪
♪ Like, go, go ♪ -[dolphin clicks]
♪ Check it out, here's a different Paige ♪
♪ Check me out while I turn the page ♪
♪ Living that good life ♪
♪ Knew-that-I-could life ♪
♪ Now, now, now ♪
♪ How does she have the time to bake? ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm amazing ♪
Owen's sleeping like a baby.
Actually, he's sleeping
like an adult person on a Saturday.
Babies are terrible at sleeping,
but you wanna eat their little faces!
Anyway,
I'm glad he's getting some rest.
He's had a tough week.
First, there was the toilet issue.
Who... What? Why would someone
throw a toilet out a window?
Then there was the trash fire.
I should have called it a Segway fire.
More exciting.
I don't know why I didn't call it that.
And then there was the drunk possum.
[Owen] Wait, did it drink rum?
Just walk around the tree, buddy.
Walk around... Walk around it. [sighs]
But Owen handled all of
that 'cause he's the best.
Actually, everyone inside
the castle had a rough week.
I'm gonna go fast. Try to keep up.
Instead of writing about Bitsy
and the mayor's villainous plot,
Paige had to write
an article on the top
ten best places in
the city to get toast.
Ow! Oh. Cut my mouth.
Stupid toast.
Poor Molly had a hard week with
her art teacher who just doesn't get her.
- Hmm.
- What do you mean, "Hmm?"
I'm wishing it was more dimensional.
Mm-hmm.
Wishing you were more dimensional.
- What's that?
- Nothing.
Wait, did you just spill
coffee on my drawing?
Uh, no.
And Cole.
He's been kinda wishing that
he had somewhere to play outside
that wasn't a public park.
[man] I'm always doing stupid
stuff? You're always doing stupid stuff.
- [woman] Tell that to your haircut.
- [man] At least I have a haircut.
- [woman] What?
- [man] Nothing. Love your hair.
- [man] What are you looking at?
- I'm gonna leave.
Okay, that covers it. Bad
week. Everybody's sleeping.
It's not weird that I'm watching them.
Wait. One more thing.
But it's not... It's not a
big deal at all. Like at all.
Kingsley University offered Owen
a job. Yes, that Kingsley University.
The fancy, smart, rich one up in
Connecticut that thinks it's so great.
Anyway, they want Owen
to be the Olmsted and Vaux
of a huge plot of land they
acquired next to campus.
Olmsted and Vaux designed Central Park.
[whispers] Look how old-timey they are.
Anyway, Owen isn't even
remotely considering taking the job
and moving to a different
city to start a new life,
because why would he, right?
He's not a dum-dum head. -[yawns]
[whispers] The lady from the
university is calling today at : .
Owen has to tell her if
he's taking the job or not.
I'm gonna gracefully hide in this tree now.
[yawns] -[Paige] I've been thinking.
[shouts] -Sorry. Did I scare you?
I thought you were asleep.
I was. Then I woke up and
started talking 'cause I'm alive.
Anyway, I've been thinking.
Maybe we should talk more
about this Kingsley thing.
I know you've had job offers before,
but this could be really good for us.
I know! Sorry, did I yell that?
But do we really wanna move?
Babe, they're talking
about selling the park,
and they froze out the Park
League. They're all over you.
Maybe you could work somewhere
that actually appreciates you.
Plus you'd be designing this
new park. It would be kind of yours.
Think about it.
I am thinking about
it. It's stressing me out.
I've been grinding my teeth all night.
Is that what that was? Oh,
good. I thought we had termites.
And there's other stuff
they're throwing at us.
Free housing in a nice
house with a backyard
and free private school for the kids.
Damn, it's breathy in here.
Scooch over. I'm getting
in. Please don't be naked.
So, I talked to Brendan,
and we decided we could make
things work long-distance after we move.
It's not really long-distance. Connecticut.
Don't say "Connecticut" at me.
It's long-distance if I
say it's long-distance,
which is romantic and cool.
Can we stop saying we're
moving? Nobody said we're moving.
Before we move, there's
something we have to do.
- There it is again.
- I tried to bring this up last night,
but it was job talk, job talk,
so this is what I wanted to say.
Enrique is telling me that sometimes
people in New York give away
all their Stackster pieces for free.
On the Internet, and sometimes
it's a lot of them. Like a lot.
They give them away for free? Really?
Yeah. They basically post a picture
online and say, "Come and get 'em,"
the way I imagine dating apps work.
I love free. We could
always use more Stacksters.
For our father-son builds?
Our little hands holding little
blocks building big, imaginary worlds?
Yes!
Owen, we should talk more. The
lady from Kingsley is calling at : .
Yep, yep, yep. Just
gonna go get my computer
and look into this Stackster thing.
Real quick. -So quick.
Won't take long. Just gonna put on pants.
You know? I won't even put on pants.
[sighs] That's my guy.
All right, scroll down.
Good. Keep scrolling.
I know how to use a computer.
Mmm, there. Click there. -Clicking.
Click better. Holy brick. -Dear Lord.
[Cole] So many Stacksters. Message them.
I am, I am. "Are your Stacksters
still available for pickup?" And send.
And now we wait.
There's a good chance
they already gave them away,
so let's try not to get our hopes
up... Oh, my God, she wrote back.
That was so fast.
"Come get them. Here's
our address." Oh, my God!
Yes, yes! -What's happening?
We hit the mother lode. We'll be back.
Dad, pants? -No time, Dad.
- We've got bricks to pick up.
- I forgot I wasn't wearing pants.
Come on, Molly. He was about to
leave the house with no pants on.
- You were gonna let me?
- Yes. Would have been incredible.
Sorry. We're not gonna get that
chance again for a while, huh?
No.
This is the fastest I've
ever driven through the park.
I don't want anybody to
get those bricks before us.
If they do, you run them
down. You run them down!
I will. I'll do it.
♪ We got the bricks, we got the bricks ♪
♪ We got the bricks ♪
[riffing] ♪ We got the bricks ♪
♪ We got... ♪
She just gave you these?
Yeah. Her son went to
college, so these are ours now.
You guys are cold-blooded.
That poor kid probably doesn't
know she gave them away.
- Can we just build, please?
- Yep, yep. Let's do it.
Okay, can we talk first?
This job offer is potentially maybe
more important than Stacksters.
Bite your tongue. -Owen, we need to talk!
Okay, okay. We're gonna
talk. We're gonna talk so much,
but I just have to build first
for an indefinite amount of time.
Maybe there's a comparison
here. Think about this.
Sometimes in life, somebody
offers you something nice,
and you just have to take it.
Like these Stacksters.
This morning, we didn't
have them, and now we do.
AKA when someone offers
you something nice, you take it.
Don't make the Stacksters
about this job offer.
That gives me an idea. Let's make
these Stacksters about this job offer.
No. -This is a great, maybe perfect idea.
I think we should all build
the lives we could have
if Dad was gonna take this job.
No. You can't tell somebody what to build.
Ooh, I like it. Yes, we get to build our...
[whispers] amazing, perfect future lives.
No, there's no rules. You
build whatever you want.
I love it. I'm gonna build my...
[whispers] perfect future life.
And then we can present our
perfect future... [clears throat]
I'm not gonna do the whisper thing.
Then we can present our perfect future
living-in-Connecticut-and-loving-it
lives to each other.
- All right, let's build.
- Build whatever you want.
All right, let's spread
out. I need more room.
Farther away from all of you. I love you.
Oh, my God, I did so good. I'll go first.
Can we just build? -Nope.
Our new house is just off the
prestigious campus of Kingsley University.
My room in our new house is simple.
A mattress on the floor, art books
for genius artists scattered about.
Wait, so you're a
gymnast in your future life?
No, ignore her outfit. I thought she
was cute, and she kinda has my hair.
Anyway, shush.
To make money, I take a job
as the janitor at the university.
Wait, you get a job in this scenario?
You're not going to school or...
Lot of questions during
my future life presentation.
Sorry.
Hi. How's it going? Yep, just
the janitor. No need to talk to me.
That's all the time we have
today in super-advanced art class.
For extra credit, what I've
written here on the chalkboard
is a description of a drawing
that's nearly impossible to draw.
If you could somehow
manage to draw this drawing,
you would be in the rare company
with the likes of Monet, Van
Gogh and that MAD magazine guy.
Uh, good luck. Class dismissed.
Whoa, there's no way I could
draw that. That's impossible.
You'd have to be a super
double art genius to draw that.
Come on. Let's go get a really expensive
lunch with our rich daddies' money.
[Molly] That night, I was
all alone, mopping the hall.
- [Owen] You're still mopping?
- [Molly] It's a lot of mopping, okay?
But I didn't come here to mop.
I came here to do art. If I
could just believe in myself.
♪ Oh, the blank page is so frightening ♪
♪ Like a tiger staring back ♪
♪ I've got my colors here beside me ♪
♪ To guide me and hide me From the attack ♪
♪ Sometimes I feel like I can see things ♪
♪ Things that no one else can see ♪
♪ And I just wish That
someone else could tell me ♪
♪ That they see them too ♪
♪ But then again It's
kinda cool that it's just me ♪
♪ I know that I could be ♪
♪ I could be something amazing ♪
♪ If I just let myself be free ♪
♪ Create the things that amaze me ♪
♪ If I could paint the world
The way I wanna see the world ♪
♪ Then that's the world
That I would wanna be in ♪
♪ Take all the light that glows in me ♪
♪ And shine it like a sun ♪
♪ I think I could be
Someone to believe in ♪
♪ I'm always cleaning up these messes ♪
♪ Beautiful patterns on the floor ♪
♪ I wish this mop could
be A gigantic paintbrush ♪
♪ So I could show them all
That I've got more in store ♪
♪ I know that I could be ♪
♪ I could be something amazing ♪
♪ If I just let myself be free ♪
♪ Create the things that amaze me ♪
♪ If I could paint the world
The way I wanna see the world ♪
♪ Then that's the world
That I would wanna be in ♪
♪ Take all the light that glows in me ♪
♪ And shine it like a sun ♪
♪ I think I could be
Someone to believe in ♪
♪ If I could paint the world
The way I wanna see the world ♪
♪ Then that's the world
That I would wanna be in ♪
♪ Take all the light that glows in me ♪
♪ And shine it like the sun ♪
♪ I think I could be someone ♪
♪ To believe in ♪
[Molly] At night, I sneak out of the house
to hang out with my dumber,
slightly violent townie friends.
Hey, Molly. We should
beat up that guy over there.
He bumped into me, and said,
"Excuse me," but in a weird way.
Let's fight that guy. Right? Molly.
Sorry, I was doing a drawing in
my head. Nah, let's not fight him.
Can we finally go beat
up your old art teacher?
He's so stupid not to
get how art smart you are.
You know what? I'm gonna get out of here.
Are you serious? We
don't get to do fighting?
- I gotta go see about a chalkboard.
- Whoa, I just got chills.
The impossible drawing. Here we go.
"Draw a turtle playing basketball
underwater, Garfield style."
You can do this, Molly.
Wait, that's the impossible
drawing? What's Garfield style?
Exactly, Mom. What is it?
Seems impossible, doesn't it?
I guess.
[Molly] Word got out that the
impossible drawing had been drawn,
and people packed the lecture
hall to find out who had drawn it.
It's beautiful. Someone in
my art class is an art genius.
Go on, step forward. Show yourself.
- Don't be shy. Step forward.
- [Molly imitates whirring]
It's not time to clean
really, young janitor girl!
I'm stepping forward!
What? Your floor buffer is
too loud. I can't hear you.
Sorry, I was trying to multitask.
I said, I'm stepping
forward. That's my drawing.
[people gasp]
But you're... -The janitor? Yeah. I know.
Turns out I can draw
the crap out of a turtle
- and buff the crap out of a floor.
- How did you learn how to do this?
I get it from my dad, I think.
He's a genius in his own way.
He made the decision to move
here, and he realized all of his dreams.
He built the park here, and
it won number one best park
and that inspired me last night.
Let's hear it for my dad.
[cheering, applause]
[Molly] And that's when my life changed.
My ability as a visual artist
had finally been recognized.
After word got out that I had
successfully drawn the impossible drawing,
I was asked by France to hang
some of my work in the Louvre.
The country of France asked you?
Yeah. I don't really have time to explain
how the whole art world works, Cole.
Where was I? Oh, yeah.
I was leaving the Louvre, which
is pronounced Louvre, Mom.
- [Paige] What?
- And I ran into my old art teacher.
He was in line for my
show. He looked like crap.
He didn't realize it was me. I
spilled coffee on him, and it felt great.
The end. You're welcome.
If we don't move to Connecticut, I'll
never get my work put up in the Louvre.
I don't think they do that. Never mind.
Why am I saying that? Sounds
great. It's a good story, Molly.
So should we start packing? -Uh, no.
I wanna show my
future life. This will help.
Our new house is the perfect
place for me to live and work.
I wake up next to my handsome husband.
He sleeps in now because at his
new job, he gets to make his own hours.
He's stress-free and
his muscles got really big.
- [Molly] Because he's a wrestler?
- No. He's just super strong now.
And you're a mermaid? -Yes, I'm beautiful.
I just... I can't walk
anywhere, 'cause I have a tail.
- Here. Swap these out.
- That is better. Thank you.
Every morning, I wake
up with my human legs,
have a sensible breakfast,
and drive through the country.
After we moved, I realized
I was never gonna crack
the big Bitsy-Mayor corruption
piece I was working on,
so I wrote fiction, which
I hadn't done in years,
and they published
the first thing I turned in.
They were like, "We have
zero notes," and it was a hit.
I got a -book deal. My
detective series "Hunter Gatherer"
was about a woman detective
named Hunter who "gathered" evidence.
[Molly] I have a note. -[Cole] I do too.
[Paige] If it's about the
title, I don't want to hear it.
- [Cole] Never mind.
- [Molly] It's not a great title.
♪ Cruising down the road
And look at me go now ♪
♪ I'm an author Just
like Jodi Picoult now ♪
♪ Hit detective series ♪
♪ With Reddit fan page theories ♪
It's the Doctor!
♪ Former journalist
That's got a new headline ♪
♪ "Local woman hits paperback big time" ♪
♪ Going on my book tours ♪
♪ Hitting all the famous bookstores ♪
Cramp, cramp!
♪ Check it out, here's a different Paige ♪
♪ Check me out while I turn the page ♪
♪ Living that good life ♪
♪ Knew-that-I-could life ♪
♪ Now, now, now ♪
♪ Look at how now we meditate ♪
♪ Wow, 'cause we're
now On a different wave ♪
♪ Startin' our days with yoga and sage ♪
♪ Like ow, ow ♪
Not flexible yet.
♪ When I get a call From
Hollywood's number ♪
♪ I pick it up, they say "What up? ♪
♪ And we wonder would you be
ecstatic If your books were cinematic?" ♪
♪ Cut to: I'm on a set And
giving notes on the screenplay ♪
♪ I'm pounding lattes From
the crafty caffeine tray ♪
♪ Acting nonchalant, 'kay That
we somehow cast Beyoncé ♪
♪ Every few months, we take vacations ♪
♪ That's where I get my inspirations ♪
♪ Deep-sea dives Looking fish in the eyes ♪
♪ Like whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Then we go to the dolphin encounter ♪
♪ Swimming with dolphins,
Nothing profounder ♪
♪ Setting them free 'Cause
they belong in the sea ♪
♪ Like, go, go ♪
[Molly] This took a weird turn.
[Paige] ♪ Never thought I'd make
The New York Times Best Seller List ♪
♪ Twenty-seven times ♪
♪ Never thought my life could ever
be Looking like a Nancy Meyers film ♪
♪ Where everything's cream, cream, cream ♪
♪ The kitchen's so clean, clean, clean ♪
♪ There's always pastries on the counter ♪
♪ Like, how did they get there? ♪
♪ How does she have the time to bake? ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm amazing ♪
♪ No life looks perfect on the page ♪
♪ I'm grateful for every former stage ♪
♪ And life can be rocky
But look where it got me ♪
♪ Now, now, now ♪
♪ Cruising down the
road And look me go now ♪
♪ I'm an author Just
like Jodi Picoult now ♪
Ah, Connecticut. It's so beautiful here.
I'm glad my husband is extremely
talented and that we moved here.
Aw, look at that bunny rabbit in the road.
Okay, move out of the
way, little bunny rabbit.
[honks horn] -You gotta move.
Oh, my God, bunny, move.
Why aren't you moving? [screams]
Wait. You crashed your car
in your own story about how
amazing your life is gonna be?
Yes. Don't do this. You'll see.
I tried to escape, but couldn't.
Eventually, I lost consciousness.
[eerie music plays]
- What the...
- Oh, good. Sleepyhead's finally awake.
Who are you? Why did you strap me down?
Oh, you dirty bird. What about a
little thank you for saving your life?
Thank you, Margarett. -Thank you, Margaret.
No, it's Margarett with two T's.
Margarett? -No.
M-Margarett? -Not even close.
Should we just go ahead
and undo these straps?
It's for your own good.
You're too weak to stand up.
[Cole] Mom, this feels kinda dark.
Stop interrupting. This woman
is obsessed with me. It's great.
Why is that great?
I always wanted to have
a stalker. I told you that.
You did? -Yes.
A literary stalker is the
ultimate compliment.
Don't you want a park stalker? -Uh, no.
What?
[Margarett] I found your
skinny computer in your car,
and I found the next Hunter
Gatherer manuscript, and I read it.
Oh? -I had some thoughts.
Wouldn't it be better if Hunter
met, say, an older woman
with a quirky sense of humor,
and she helps Hunter solve a case.
And her name could be Annie Hoo-Dunnit.
She could end up getting her own
series of books too. Do you love it?
You know, Hunter's kind of a loner.
Usually, but in this one,
maybe Hunter's toe is broken,
and she needs a little help getting around.
What do you mean? Ow, ow, ow, ow.
So, yeah, maybe she just
hasn't met the right friend yet,
and maybe Annie
Hoo-Dunnit's catch phrase is,
"Who done it? You done it." -[Paige groans]
I like it. I like it a lot.
Good, you let go of my toe.
I'm gonna start thinking now.
Then you'll write it. Here. With me.
'Cause I've got a bunch of ideas,
and you've got a bunch of toes.
Who wants banana yogurt?
Uh... -You do.
I do? -I'll get it. You start thinking.
This is so fun. We're writing.
[Paige] So, there I was, strapped
to the chair. Full of banana yogurt.
Being forced to write on an old
computer with a dusty old mouse.
[blows]
I played along. Margarett
checked on me constantly.
Hello. How's it going?
So good. So good.
So exciting. Do you need to poop?
No. -I do!
[Paige] And every second I was
alone, I spent plotting my escape.
[grunting]
But then, I got lucky.
Behind the document
was an AOL login screen.
All I had to do was
figure out the password.
I think I know what AOL is. I've
heard tell of it from yesteryear.
Some young, vibrant people
still have an AOL email address.
Every time Margarett would
pop her head in the door,
I'd switch the window back to
the document before she noticed.
I needed more time.
[AOL Voice] You have one more
password attempt before you are locked out.
[Paige] Think, Paige. You're so
smart. You can figure this out. Of course.
[dial-up tone]
[AOL Voice] You did it. You're online.
I gotta email Owen. "Crazy
old lady kidnapped me.
Her name's Margarett with two
T's. I don't know if that's relevant.
Anyway, I'm in a cabin. Don't
know the address. I see trees.
Uh... Maybe birch trees?
You're the tree guy. I
don't know. Come quick."
And send. Oh, no, this mouse. Ugh.
[groans]
- Who wants another banana yogurt?
- [dial-up tone]
What's that sound? [gasps]
Is that my AOL you're on?
No AOL, you don't.
Somebody's been a
very naughty little writer.
Connection lost. So sad. Too bad.
You take this, and I'll take
this. Now, get back to work.
[Paige] She left me
there with yogurt in my lap.
I had no idea if my email went out.
I was afraid all hope was lost.
I had a lot of lap yogurt that night.
[gasps] Owen!
I came as quickly as I could.
I didn't even put on pants.
[Molly] You got Dad to
leave the house without pants.
I got the email. Really great
tree identification, sweetie.
- Made it super easy to find you.
- Thanks, babe.
Let's get out of here.
No one's going anywhere.
Come at me, Mr. Hot Legs.
[Paige] Owen wrestled
Margarett to the ground.
Please don't make me wrestle
an old lady in my underwear.
You do that every night. Okay, fine.
You only wrestle for a few seconds,
and then we jump out
the window, and we're safe.
What a story. Who wouldn't
wanna move now, huh?
Totally confusing. -What?
It sounded really scary and bad.
I feel like if I tell it one
more time from the top...
Oh, no. No, thanks, Mom.
It's my turn, and I've been
building while you were talking.
I mean, listening also.
But Dad, I think, is
gonna be really excited
about some of the stuff
I was doing over here,
- and now he's ready to come to my world.
- Nope. Don't like this.
Dad, shh. [clears throat]
After Father does the right thing
and accepts the position as top park
design person at Kingsley University,
I had my very own, I
believe the term is, backyard,
and it was glorious.
[laughs] I love my dad.
What's that, son? I came out to play.
Oh, hey, Dad. I was
just yelling that I love you
while standing in our new backyard.
That's nice. You're my favorite child.
The other one's fine, but you're perfect.
Should we hold hands
and spin around and laugh?
Yes. [laughing] -[laughing]
- This is ridiculous.
- [Paige] Hey, I wanna get in on this.
[Cole, Paige] Yay!
Okay, okay. Back to the story.
Mom does have an
errand to do. [clears throat]
Kinda focusing on Dad here right now, Mom.
[Paige] Right, right. I'm gonna
leap over this fence and go do judo,
'cause they have that here.
What should we do with this backyard,
Dad? We spun around, we laughed.
Do you have any ideas?
You always have great ideas.
Actually, I was talking to a
professor in the science department,
and he said they have a rocket
ship they don't need anymore.
You wouldn't want a rocket
ship in our backyard, would you?
Sounds boring. What else you got?
Just kidding. That's amazing.
Like a real rocket ship?
We're at Kingsley University now,
son. Of course, it's a real rocket ship.
[both] Yay!
[Molly] Oh, my God.
No. Please skip that part.
There's one thing.
My rocket scientist professor friend said
it still has a little fuel in the t*nk,
so whatever you do, don't
press the launch button, okay?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay. For sure.
Yeah. Totally. Yeah, no, definitely.
I'm in spac...
Whoo! That was incredible.
Well, got that out of my system.
Happy I'm back, and no one will ever know.
Good night, rocket ship. -Nighty night.
[Cole gasps] Are you an alien? -Yes, sir.
Oh, you don't have to
call me sir. I'm just a boy.
I'm a big boy. Wait, you speak English?
A little bit. -Oh, my God, you're so cute.
I jumped on when you passed my
planet. You seemed like a cool dude.
- What do I feed you?
- I only eat once a year,
but I need to play all the time. Yay! -Yay!
Everything was great, that is,
until the government showed up.
[knocking]
I'll get it, 'cause I'm so relaxed
and happy in this new life,
I don't mind getting up. -Uh-oh.
I work for the government. Have
any of you seen an alien lately?
We wanna do experiments
on him and poke him a lot.
He won't like it, but it'll be good
for science. Maybe. We don't know.
Uh, no. -Nope. No. Mm-mmm.
[Cole] No. Uh-uh. -[Owen] No. No.
Okay, bye. If you see him, let us
know because we're looking for him,
and we really wanna poke him a lot.
- Oh, no, Norg. What do we do?
- I'm frightened.
We're gonna get you out of here.
This was a fun playdate,
but we gotta get you home.
We don't want you to get experimented on,
no matter how many diseases
your blood might be able to cure.
Twenty. I think it's .
Oh, wow, that's a lot.
Did I say ? I mean zero.
Let's get you home.
[Cole] So, we fired up the
engines for one last flight
in our backyard rocket ship,
but then suddenly, who
showed up, but the army.
Wait, we can use other toys?
Yeah, you could've, but you didn't. I
don't know what that says about you.
They had us in their sights.
If we took off, they would've
blasted us out of the sky.
It was up to Dad to talk to the army.
Cole, let me talk to them.
I'm feeling really relaxed and
well-rested because I took this job.
I know. Your skin looks fantastic.
Let me see if I can
make the army be relaxed.
[Cole] Dad was amazing.
In just a few minutes, he
had the army so chilled out.
Yay!
[Cole] Norg got home safely, and
everyone lived happily ever after
unless you had one of those diseases
that Norg's blood could have cured.
The end. [clapping]
It's not a contest, but I think I win.
If it was a contest, you'd be
disqualified for too much spinning
and using other toys.
I'm not sure why you were allowed
to do that. We're all mad at you.
- I thought it was beautiful, honey.
- You are correct.
Dad, what about you? Where you at?
The lady's calling in
minutes. Are we moving?
I don't know. I don't know.
Can I show you what I built?
This is the new park
at Kingsley University.
[gasps] -[Birdie] What the... [screams]
[Paige] It's incredible.
[Cole] My rocket ship was good too.
It was great, Cole.
Dang it. Can't get this tree
to stay up. It keeps falling.
Dad, you're really good at
building with these things.
I know, right? Crap, tree
fell again. Here we go.
All right, here's me walking
through my park, feeling good.
♪ We needed the lows To see
how high our hopes could climb ♪
♪ But now we know Just
what we want to find ♪
♪ So look at me now
I'm living idealistically ♪
♪ I found my bliss even unrealistically ♪
♪ We're out of the
park I'm out of the dark ♪
♪ No worries following me ♪
♪ I'm strong as a mule ♪
♪ I'm living by my own rules ♪
♪ No shoes, no shirt No problems, you see ♪
♪ This tree is a pith It's
kind of hurting my vibe here ♪
♪ It's starting to k*ll What I
am trying to describe here ♪
♪ 'Cause everything else
I've built is so impeccable ♪
♪ Ugh, stupid tree I'm
gonna k*ll it with chemicals ♪
♪ Then I chop it down ♪
♪ And put it in the wood chipper ♪
♪ Cut this tree up Like
I'm Jack the Ripper ♪
You okay, Dad?
What? What? Yeah, I'm just processing.
♪ We all need the lows To see
how high our hopes can climb ♪
♪ And now we know And now we know ♪
♪ Just what we're gonna find ♪
♪ We can't know if life Will
hand us happiness and love ♪
♪ But what we got, the life we
got We've gotta be proud of ♪
♪ Wherever we land ♪
♪ There'll still be
trees That won't stand ♪
♪ Our troubles won't disappear ♪
♪ Just 'cause we don't live as near ♪
♪ They'll be following you ♪
♪ So better to follow through ♪
♪ With all the loose ends And old friends ♪
♪ You've gotta make amends with all ♪
♪ 'Cause problems follow you ♪
♪ And memories follow too ♪
♪ A creepy stalker Named
Margarett might follow you, yeah ♪
♪ But look behind you ♪
♪ Your family's following you ♪
♪ There's only one thing to do ♪
♪ You've got to follow ♪
♪ Through ♪
I don't wanna take the job. -Oh, thank God.
Oh, feels good. -Phew.
What? -I thought I wanted a different life,
but I think I was just wanting that for you
because you seem so stressed these days.
But to be honest, I...
I love it here, and I...
I could never walk away from the paper
and the life we have here
and the story I want to write.
And, hey, maybe
somebody will stalk me here.
That's the spirit, hon.
I don't think I really
wanted to move either.
There's probably a really annoying
art teacher in Connecticut too,
who spills, like, chili on everything.
- I don't know what they eat there.
- Probably chili.
And I don't wanna leave
New York. I love it here.
I have one of those shirts
that says, "I heart New York."
They don't just give those out.
I have one too, and you know
what? I do heart New York.
I thought I wanted my own backyard
but what kid can say that
Central Park is their own backyard?
I'm the only kid that can say that.
Um, hello?
Plus, they might have
spaceships in Connecticut,
but do they have
squirrels? I don't think so.
That's right, no squirrels in Connecticut.
[Birdie groans] Out here.
I knew the whole time that
he wasn't gonna take the job.
Did I seem scared? I was not
scared. I was totally confident.
Why did I fall out of a tree? Uh,
physical comedy. You're welcome.
I'm just gonna lay here for a little while.
Not because I'm hurt. I'm totally fine.
[Paige] ♪ Every few
months, we take vacations ♪
♪ That's where I get my inspirations ♪
♪ Deep-sea dives Looking fish in the eyes ♪
♪ Like whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
♪ Look at how now we meditate ♪
♪ Wow, 'cause we're
now On a different wave ♪
♪ Startin' our days with yoga and sage ♪
♪ Like ow, ow ♪
Cramp, cramp!
♪ Then we go to the dolphin encounter ♪
♪ Swimming with dolphins
Nothing profounder ♪
♪ Setting them free 'Cause
they belong in the sea ♪
♪ Like, go, go ♪ -[dolphin clicks]
♪ Check it out, here's a different Paige ♪
♪ Check me out while I turn the page ♪
♪ Living that good life ♪
♪ Knew-that-I-could life ♪
♪ Now, now, now ♪
♪ How does she have the time to bake? ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm amazing ♪