05x23 - Blue and Red Ecstasy

[bunniefuu]

Shin: Uh, Gin-san? What was that about?

Shin: How could you screw up the end of the opening sequence?

Gin: Don't blame me.

Gin: There's bound to be a mishap when

you do the same thing times in a row.

Kagura: I thought the opening was reused every time.

Shin: You weren't supposed to say that.

Gin: I'm too embarrassed to show my face.

Gin: How am I supposed to do this next week?

Shin: I feel the same way.

Kagura: Me too.

Gin: Say, since this is so embarrassing,

Gin: can we cut to commercial?

Recycling ShopEarth Defense Force

A: What's this?

Gin: Isn't that obvious?

Doraemon

Gin: A VHS player.

Gin: Buy it off me.

A: There's a tape stuck inside.

Gin: It comes with a video tape.

A: Nobody buys or sells VHS players these days.

Gin: Man, don't you get it?

Gin: It says Doraemon on the tape, but it's not Doraemon.

Gin: There's no flying or four-dimensional pocket.

Gin: Just a nasty pocket with a whacked Gian.

A: Your head is whacked.

Gin: Anyway, I can't leave this sitting around at home.

Gin: I mean, Gian is sticking out.

Gin: I'll just recycle this.

Gin: If you don't want to buy it, I'm willing to trade it in for something else.

Gin: Like a DVD.

A: If you want to play straw millionaire, go somewhere else.

A: Oh, I do have a Blu-ray player.

Gin: Huh? What did you just say?

A: I'm saying that I have a Blu-ray player that I'll trade for that.

Gin: R-Really?!

Gin: Blu-rays are better than DVDs, right?

Gin: You can see the pores in Shizuka-chan's skin!

A: You can see Shizuka-chan like you've never seen her before.

Gin: Really?! Are you sure about this?!

A: Yes, I am.

A: But...

A: There's a Gian recital going on here, too.

Blue and Red Ecstasy

Shin: What's that, Gin-san?

Gin: B-Blu-ray...

Shin: Blu-ray?

Shin: Why do we have such an expensive machine here?

Gin: I straw millionaire'd myself a

broken Blu-ray player out of a broken VHS player.

Shin: Uh, so you traded trash for trash?

Gin: But it's like a tissue used to wipe this dumb girl's nose

Gin: versus a tissue used to wipe Otsuu-chan's lipstick!

Shin: The latter wouldn't be a tissue anymore.

Shin: It would be a holy shroud.

Kagura: Hey, how about I stuff my shroud down your throat?

Shin: But this thing is useless.

Gin: If only I could get this disc out of there.

Gin: It won't even budge.

Kagura: What's on that disc anyway?

Gin: How would I know?

Gin: The former owner jammed it in there.

Shin: You can't pull or push it, but it spins.

Kagura: There's something written on the disc.

Gin: The Cursed Blu-ray?

Gin: What's this?

Shin: Beats me.

Shin: I've heard of cursed video tapes.

Shin: The ones where you die if you watch them.

Kagura: I've heard about that.

Kagura: A ghost comes out of the TV and kills you.

Gin: It's coming for me!

Shin: But I've never heard of a cursed Blu-ray before.

Kagura: Well, video tapes are too dated.

Kagura: Ghosts also have to keep up with the times.

Gin: Th-This isn't funny!

Gin: I don't want to see a high-definition ghost!

Gin: Damn that bitch!

Gin: I'm gonna return this thing!

Shin: Ah, Gin-san!

Shin: You didn't unplug it!

Gin: I put it in!

Kagura: That's great.

Kagura: Let's watch it then.

Gin: What are you babbling about?!

Gin: Do you want to die?!

Shin: It was probably just a prank.

Shin: That cursed video tape was just a story.

Gin: Just turn the TV off!

Shin: Man...

Shin: Turn around then, Gin-san.

Shin: I'll turn the volume down.

Shin: Huh?

Shin: The remote isn't working.

Gin: What?!

Gin: Hey! Wait a second!

Gin: This is...

Kagura: Oh, I can see something.

Gin: Hey, isn't that a well?

Gin: This is, you know,

Gin: where that person lives!

Gin: This is really bad...

Gin: There it comes!

Gin: It was all true!

Gin: We're so screwed!

Kagura: Uh oh, it's going to jump out of the TV and k*ll us all!

Gin: Shinpachi!

Gin: Grab a pot lid!

Gin: Hold it back!

Gin: Don't let it get out!

Shin: That's not how it works!

Kagura: Gin-chan, it's coming closer!

Gin: Destroy it! Destroy the TV!

Shin: W-Wait, Gin-san!

Shin: It...

Shin: It stopped moving.

Ghost: K-Kotatsu...

Gin: Kotatsu?!

Gin: What's that supposed to mean?!

Gin: Is that some kind of deadly curse?!

Shin: Ah! She's leaving.

Shin: I don't get it, but she's going back to the well!

Ghost: Did I turn it off?

Gin: Hey! She just said, "Did I turn it off"!

Gin: So she meant kotatsu as in the heated table?!

Gin: She went back to make sure she turned it off?!

Shin: Uh, what kind of ghost would go back to check on a kotatsu?!

Shin: And is there a kotatsu down there?!

Gin: Anyway, this is our chance!

Gin: Come up with a plan before she comes back!

Kagura: Ah, she's coming back!

Gin: She already finished checking! Damn!

Shin: Huh, she stopped moving again.

Ghost: P-Plug...

Gin: Hey!

Shin: Now she's going back to unplug the whole thing!

Shin: That's one oversensitive ghost!

Shin: Though I understand the feeling!

Shin: It happens!

Gin: She can't come out of the TV if

she can't even make it outside of the well!

Gin: Maybe she's been cursed by the kotatsu!

Gin: Maybe she should just flip the breaker?!

Shin: Ah, she's back!

Kagura: She's having trouble getting up.

Gin: She brought the kotatsu with her!

Shin: She was so worried that she brought the kotatsu out with her!

Shin: And this is the wrong season for a kotatsu anyway!

Gin: That's not gonna happen!

Shin: She can't bring that thing out of the TV with her!

Shin: Our TV's too small!

Shin: It won't fit through!

Shin: You have to lead with the corner!

Kagura: Oh, well. I guess I'll give her a hand!

Gin: Hell no! Don't help her!

Gin: And how are you supposed to get inside the TV?!

Kagura: I feel bad for her though.

Kagura: She's about to cry.

Gin: Uh, it doesn't seem like you'll be k*lling us,

Gin: so could you leave?

Gin: We'll play this Blu-ray again in a few days,

Gin: so you can give it another shot then.

Gin: Uh, did you hear me?

Shin: She's making herself comfortable.

Shin: She's watching TV from inside the TV.

Kagura: What's she trying to do?

Gin: Don't give me any crap!

Gin: I told you to leave!

Gin: This is our TV!

Gin: If you don't scram, I'll Bubble Fiction: Boom or Bust your ass!

Gin: You'll be off to a pretty crappy world!

Ghost: I-I'm sorry...

Ghost: I don't mean any harm.

Ghost: Could you spare one channel for me to spend the night?

Gin: Screw that!

Gin: Why should we let a ghost use one of our channels?!

Ghost: Y-You've got it wrong.

Ghost: I'm not a suspicious ghost.

Ghost: Look.

Ghost: See, I'm not a ghost.

Gin: Y-You're...

Gin: That's...

Ghost: I-I'm an angel.

Ghost: An imaginary angel.

Ghost: Blu-wraith.

Shin: You're obviously not an angel!

Shin: You look the same as you did before!

Shin: More like you became an angel by

removing yourself from reality!

Shin: What's that thing hanging from your neck?!

Ghost: Don't worry. I can't leave the TV.

Ghost: These defiled wings can't carry me anywhere.

Ghost: I can only look up at the sky from my rectangular box.

Shin: Blu-wraith is getting all blue on us!

Shin: She's doing justice to her name!

Ghost: I was created by a mad scientist from another planet

Ghost: as a program to place in Blu-rays for invading cities.

Ghost: When the Blu-ray is played, I become an electronic virus

Ghost: that possesses every system and destroys all.

Shin: That's not very angelic.

Shin: I'd call you a demon.

Ghost: But before I could be played,

Ghost: the professor had to sell me to a recycle shop to pay off his debts.

Ghost: Ever since, I've been known as the cursed Blu-ray

and sent from planet to planet.

Shin: So you're the cursed Blu-ray

Shin: because you curse appliances, electric devices?

Ghost: P-Please...

Ghost: I have nowhere else to go.

Ghost: Let me stay in this TV.

Ghost: One channel is all I need.

Ghost: Let me stay in this Braun tube.

Gin: This is all too sudden.

Kagura: Are you sure you want to stay in this cramped and dirty LDK?

Kagura: You could stay in a fancy D home.

Ghost: I-I guess you don't want a dirty Blu-ray like me around.

Shin: Huh?

Kagura: Of course...

Kagura: Everyone's had their turn with me

from recycle shop to recycle shop.

I've been abused by so many players.

Kagura: Nobody would want to play this slutty Blu-ray.

Shin: Sh-Should you really be

so blue about nobody wanting to play you?

Gin: She's a Blu-ray.

Ghost: I can no longer fly anywhere on these slutty wings.

Ghost: I can't make it to channel or channel .

Ghost: I belong on the dark Video .

Shin: She just revealed that she wants to be on Video .

Ghost: If that is too much to ask for...

Shin: Ah! Wait!

Ghost: I don't need these wings.

Ghost: After all, they broke long ago.

Ghost: Maybe these wings will carry me away

if I make them bright red.

Gin: Hold on! Calm down!

Gin: Video !

Gin: Video 's what you want?!

Ghost: What? Can I?

Gin: Only until you find another home!

Gin: And promise that you won't leave Video !

Ghost: Th-Thank you. I'm so happy...

Ghost: H-Huh?

Ghost: That's odd.

Ghost: I shouldn't be able to cry out of my right eye, yet.

Gin: Very odd! Very red!

Ghost: I want to show my appreciation.

Ghost: But I have nothing to offer.

Gin: It's okay! It's okay, so change channels!

Gin: Let us control the TV!

Ghost: Oh, that's right.

Ghost: I promise to return the favor, so wait for me.

Gin: Uh, what are you going to do?

Gin: Why are you flashing your right wing?!

Ghost: And please don't switch to Video

before I've shown my appreciation!

Gin: What are you going to give us?!

Gin: Don't do it!

Gin: You only have one wing left!

Ghost: It doesn't matter.

Ghost: I will never fly again,

Ghost: but my corpse can serve as a launchpad to send you high up.

Shin: Gin-san, is a color TV supposed to be so blue?

Gin: Video is off-limits for now.

Gin: The transition to digital TV is finished, so stick to that.

Shin: Let's watch something to cheer us up.

Shin: Is it time for Laugh Away?

Kagura: Who's going to be on Telephone Shocking tonight?

Blu-wraith

Tamo: Did you cut off your wing?

Ghost: Yes.

Tamo: Did you cut your hair?

Shin: Gin-san, I've never seen this person on Tamo-san Hour before.

Ghost: I cut off my wing.

Shin: Who brought her on?

Shin: Why isn't Tamo-san saying anything?

Tamo: Oh, we have flowers.

Congratulations on your appearance on Laugh Away? - Blu-wraith

Shin: And there's only one bouquet.

Shin: From herself.

Tamo: Introduce me to your friends.

Shin: No reaction.

Shin: This is as bad as when Akira Emoto was on.

Gin: Stop it!

Gin: Stop making our TV blue!

Gin: Change!

Gin: Change channels!

N: Oh! Someone's making a run!

N: It's Right Wing! Right Wing!

N: Well ma'am. I would consider that domestic v*olence.

Ghost: No...

Ghost: I wanted my husband to pay attention to me.

Ghost: So I snapped my wing off.

Ghost: Today, we'll be making angel wingtip with blue cheese.

Gin: Everything's the same color!

Gin: A very black blue!

N: Fifty thousand, I'd say.

Gin: Gramps, you're part of the make-me-blue movement?

Gin: Stop it.

Gin: Drop a zero.

N: That zero might save your life.

N: You want this to blow up again?

Gin: Tsk.

N: Still, you're an oddball.

N: Why would you put a GPS on a scooter?

N: With a Blu-ray player to boot.

Gin: I'm at a crossroads in my life.

A very blue crossroads.

N: Don't let that Blu-ray player get you into an accident!

Gin: Hey, I moved you over.

Gin: You understand?

Gin: You better earn me the grand back.

Ghost: I-I'm sorry about causing you so much trouble.

Ghost: I couldn't fit on a

video tape because I was supposed to be capable

Ghost: of destroying entire cities.

Ghost: I'm really sorry.

Ghost: I will hang myself in apology.

Gin: Uh, you already hanged yourself.

Gin: Listen to me.

Gin: No more hanging or wing snapping.

Gin: You're gonna pay me back by serving as my navigator.

Gin: A fool like you should still be able to read a map, right?

Ghost: Th-Thank you.

Ghost: You have set me free from my cage.

Ghost: Y-You're like my wings...

Ghost: I-In that case,

Ghost: I no longer need this defiled wing.

Gin: Stop! I told you to stop that!

Gin: You really want to rip your wings off!

Gin: Take better care of your body!

Ghost: I feel better when I see blood,

Ghost: because I may feel blue. But my blood is still red.

Gin: Okay, we have our destination!

Gin: Tell me the way to the hospital!

Gin: I'm on a delivery, so do a proper job.

Gin: This is where we're going.

Gin: Bring up the map!

Ghost: U-Understood.

Ghost: The blue wing is our current location.

Ghost: Our destination is the red wing.

Gin: The whole screen is covered in red!

Gin: Who said anything about blood?!

Ghost: Sorry, I wanted to help you calm down and drive safely.

Gin: How is this supposed to calm me down?!

Gin: I can't tell where I'm going with all this blood!

Gin: You should give me a more realistic demonstration!

Gin: That's not what I meant!

Ghost: Like this?

Gin: Yes, like this!

Gin: And tell me stuff like how many meters many until a turn to the right.

Ghost: Turn right in meters.

Ghost: Turn right in meters.

Ghost: Turn right in meters.

Gin: Uh, why do I keep turning right?

Gin: I'm back where I started?

Gin: Do you know what you're doing?

Ghost: I'm sorry...

Ghost: But I only have a right wing to turn....

Gin: Nobody said to turn your wing!

Ghost: I-I'm sorry...

Ghost: It will be another meters before I can snap the next bone.

Gin: Nobody wants to hear about your broken angel wing!

Gin: Give me my damn directions!

Ghost: Y-Yes...

Ghost: Nobody cares about me.

Ghost: Turn left.

Ghost: And then...

Ghost: Continue forward.

Gin: Are you trying to k*ll me?!

Ghost: What do you mean?

Ghost: If nobody cares about my life, I'm already dead.

Gin: What a pain!

Gin: This navigation system is a pain the ass!

Ghost: Y-Yes...

Ghost: My navigation is too heavy.

Ghost: I am nothing but a chain on your legs.

Ghost: Goodbye.

Ghost: Take care.

Gin: The hell are you on?! I'm riding on the scooter you're in!

Gin: F-Fine!

Gin: When this job is finished, I'll listen to your story!

Gin: Just give me directions right now!

Gin: Focus on navigating!

Ghost: R-Really?

Ghost: Then I'll try my best.

Ghost: Turn right in meters.

Gin: Yes, yes. Excellent. That's more like it!

Ghost: Turn left in meters.

You are too close to the car in front of you.

Gin: Hey, you're pretty good at this.

Gin: So turn right, turn left... What's next?

Ghost: Kotatsu six kilometers behind.

Gin: What does your kotatsu have to do with anything?!

Gin: You want me to turn around?!

Gin: You need to go check if it's turned off?!

Gin: Why do you keep worrying about your kotatsu?!

Ghost: You are too far away from the kotatsu.

Ghost: Current distance: , meters.

Gin: Who cares how far away the kotatsu is?!

Ghost: Distance between our hearts: , meters.

Gin: How does that even make sense?!

Gin: Where is your heart?!

Ghost: So close...

Ghost: And yet so far away.

Ghost: You are so far away...

Gin: This navigation system is a pain in the ass!

Gin: It's like you're straight out of a Shinji Nojima serial!

Gin: I'm just kidding! You're not a pain in the ass!

Gin: Thank you for the concern!

Gin: But don't worry, you turned off the kotatsu!

Gin: Focus!

Gin: Do your job, okay?!

Ghost: I'm sorry.

Ghost: I can't stop worrying about the kotatsu...

Ghost: Are you sure? Are you really sure?

Gin: It's fine! Stop worrying.

Ghost: I'm sorry.

Ghost: I had a traumatic experience involving a kotatsu.

Gin: Uh, could you just do your job?

Ghost: Yes...

Ghost: I was waiting for him that day...

Gin: Hey, what is this?!

Gin: You're like those couples who get stuck in a traffic jam

Gin: and start watching shows on their navigation system!

Ghost: My boyfriend was so possessive that he wouldn't let me go outside.

Gin: Boyfriend?!

Gin: Isn't that the mad scientist who made you?!

Gin: And is this like a flashback in a flashback?!

Ghost: When I tried to go outside,

Ghost: he would use d-doner kebab.

Gin: Domestic v*olence!

Gin: You were completely off!

Gin: And did he just rip off a wing?!

Gin: You had two earlier!

Ghost: Back then, I had six wings.

Gin: Hell if I care!

Gin: And how come you can talk straight now!

Ghost: I tried to convince myself that he was acting out of love.

Ghost: But there was one thing that worried me.

Ghost: My mad boyfriend would always leave me and go away...

Gin: You're the one who's mad!

Ghost: He went to Fukuoka a while back.

Ghost: Last week, it was Hokkaido.

Ghost: Today, he went to Nagoya.

Ghost: Are these really business trips?

Ghost: Or is he going to see other women?

Gin: Fukuoka, Hokkaido, and Nagoya?!

Gin: Aren't you from a different planet?!

Ghost: I could only sit under a kotatsu and

Ghost: watch reruns of Shinji Nojima serials while

waiting for him to return.

Gin: What the hell?

Gin: Why does it have to be Shinji Nojima?!

Ghost: Then I woke up.

Ghost: I could smell something delicious.

Ghost: It was a gift from Nagoya.

Ghost: My boyfriend was really on a business trip!

Ghost: And he bought a present for me.

Ghost: But then I realized that it wasn't a present from Nagoya.

Ghost: It was my wing that had been burned by the heat from the kotatsu.

Gin: Why?!

Ghost: And so, I was traumatized by kotatsu, wings, and Shinji Nojima.

Gin: I-It's okay!

Gin: Everybody has to deal with their own pain!

Gin: Wh-Who cares if you don't have any wings?!

Gin: You don't need any wings!

Gin: I'll take you where you want to go!

Really?

Gin: Wow, the sky is so blue...

Next Episode: So in the Second Season of Prison Break, They're Already Broken Out of Prison, But the Name Works Once You Realize That Society is a Prison

Gin: Let me out!

Gin: I'm innocent!