08x01 & 08x02 - Out of Peekskill
Posted: 09/13/22 08:49
♪ You take the good,
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪
♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ All about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ All about you ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪
♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪
♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪
♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪♪
[Typewriter keys clacking]
it was a dark and dreary night
when boris, the vampire prince,
first bit me on the neck.
no.
it was a clear and starry night
when derek, the cia agent,
first bit me on the neck.
what am I doing?
i'm forgetting the first
rule of good writing...
always write what
you know about.
let's see. What do I know about,
besides the first
rule of good writing?
well, I could write about...
no, I couldn't.
that was so personal, so
intimate, so gut-wrenching.
so why don't I do it?
it was a night like
any other night,
and yet, a night that would
change our lives forever.
we had just come
back to peekskill
from summer vacation,
and I had all these
bites on my neck.
Hold on a minute. There's
something's wrong here.
I come back from
summer vacation,
I'm standing in the living
room for five minutes,
And mrs. G hasn't shown up?
Tootie, what do you know?
Why would I know anything?
I've only been back for a day.
Tootie.
Okay, his name is bruce.
They met years
ago in the peace corps.
They bumped into each
other two months ago
And they've been seeing
each other every night since.
Tootie.
His home town is chicago.
His favorite song is moon river,
And he's reading ulysses,
But I think that's
just to throw me off.
This bruce, uh, what kind
of family does he come from?
Who are his people?
Sharecroppers, blair.
Ooh, except on
his mother's side.
They come from debtor's prison.
What does it matter?
If mrs. G likes him,
I'm sure he's a great guy.
A boyfriend, huh?
Now, stop it.
Jo: hey!
Blair! Jo! Oh!
You look so good.
I missed you so much.
We noticed.
Oh, uh, this is
dr. Bruce gaines.
I'd like you to meet blair, jo.
A pleasure. How you doing?
So, you're dating
mrs. Garrett, huh?
Well, dating is such
an old-fashioned word.
No, we're... Going steady.
Well, I guess you
two want to be alone.
More than you can imagine.
Oh, bruce. He's such a kidder.
Girls... Get out.
We can take a hint.
Oh, mrs. Garrett, your
sister, beverly ann, called.
She said that she's lost
In connecticut in her winnebago.
I told her that
peekskill is west,
So she should drive
towards the setting sun.
Well, that ought to
hold her till morning.
She said she'd try that
first thing in the morning.
Let's get some pizza.
Okay. Oh... Wasn't
that a great movie?
I love oklahoma.
Every time I see it, it
reminds me of africa.
Oh, everything
reminds you of africa.
Well...
We did have some good
times there, didn't we?
Ah, yeah. Do you remember...
I remember the first time
That I saw you... Oh.
With your hair pulled
back in a bandana.
You turned, you saw me,
And then you slipped
and fell in quicksand.
You pulled me out.
I had to.
I was in love.
Lucky for me.
Hey.
They were good years, huh?
Mm-hmm.
But why look back, huh?
We're here now.
The night is beautiful.
The moon is full.
Edna... I want you to marry me.
Oh. Now this
reminds me of africa.
I meant it then
and I mean it now.
I want you to be my wife.
I don't know what to say.
Say yes... Please.
Bruce...
Yes!
But before you do...
I want you to know something.
I'm going back to
the peace corps.
And I want you to come with me.
The hospital ship sails
for africa in two weeks.
Africa?
Why not, huh?
Think of how you
could be contributing,
How we could be
contributing, side by side.
So, getting married
means going to africa.
Yeah. It has to.
Hey, let's do it while
we're still young.
Oh, I'd love to.
I... I can't.
I've, uh, I've
built a life here.
I have a shop. I have my girls.
Edna.
I'm sorry.
So am i.
Bruce... Will I see
you before you go?
Sure.
It was a wonderful dream.
It was a wonderful dream.
[edna] I've built a life here.
[edna] I've built a life here.
[funeral dirge]
friends, relatives, countrymen,
i come not to
praise mrs. Garrett,
but to bury her.
we who loved her the most
know just how important
she was in our lives.
sorry. I had a late lunch.
i'm writing her
obituary for the paper.
which headline
do you like better?
"friend of natalie green dies"
or "mrs. Garrett,
woman of no importance"?
bruce: excuse me.
i'd like to say a few words.
♪♪
they call me bruce...
bruce of africa.
i almost married this woman.
she would have
been edna of africa.
by the way, how did she die?
all right, big
deal. I k*lled her.
♪♪
i had to. She was
boring me to death.
♪♪
she never did anything
but bake cookies
day after day,
month after month,
and they were all round.
someone had to stop her.
a jury of my peers
will prove me innocent.
she's innocent.
[applause]
yay! All right!
natalie: okay.
funeral adjourned.
wait! Come back!
you can't leave yet!
isn't this a little out of line?
i supppose it is,
but I have to believe
that my life had meaning.
i did help people.
i did give of myself.
i... I...
trust us. It's better this way.
oh, please, please!
i've done things!
i've done things!
I have done
something with my life!
I have! I have!
Mrs. Garrett, wake up.
You're having a nightmare
Or gas or something.
What is it? What's going on?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was having the
most horrible dream.
she told us her dream.
she was right, it was the worst.
but she had more news
to tell us, about bruce.
and this was no dream.
He asked me to marry him.
Great! Great! He did?
And live in africa.
That's ridiculous! Forget it!
He wants me to
join the peace corps
And go back to africa with him.
The peace corps?
But that's a
two-year commitment.
I know!
Well, I can think
of a million reasons
Why I shouldn't go,
But I felt so good about myself
When I was in the peace corps.
Mrs. Garrett, that
was over years ago.
You're older now.
A lot older.
Years older.
Someone stop me.
What natalie's trying to say
Is africa's a rough town.
Wait a minute, guys.
Maybe going back
into the peace corps
Would give her life
a whole new meaning.
Oh, tootie, that's
what hobbies are for.
Mrs. Garrett, if you stay here,
We'll all chip in
And buy you one of
those little bonsai trees.
Girls, I've made up my mind.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna marry bruce
And go back into
the peace corps!
I've got to tell him.
Was it something I said?
Probably. After
listening to you,
I'm considering it myself.
After seven years,
this is what we get.
"Good-bye. I'm going to africa."
Two years.
Well, it's not that bad.
Two years... Is she crazy?
How could she decide by herself?
She didn't even ask us.
Do you guys hear
what we just said?
Did we just corner the
market on selfishness, or what?
Natalie, mrs. Garrett
Is talking about leaving.
And what are we gonna be doing
In a couple of years, jo?
You don't plan on living
The fest of your
life in peekskill.
Why should we
expect mrs. Garrett to?
Maybe blair's right.
Maybe we ought
to be happy for her.
I mean, she spent seven years
Helping us plan our futures.
I guess maybe she
deserves one of her own.
It's just hard to imagine
us here without mrs. G.
She's always been here for us.
You believe it? I'm broke.
I got no place to live.
I can't find a job.
I'm on probation.
What do I need college for?
I can get all that in
my old neighborhood.
Jo, hold on to your horses.
Now, you need a part-time job
And a place to live, right?
Well, I happen to know someone
Who has an apartment
with an extra room
Right upstairs, and it's yours.
I hope you don't think this
is too much of an imposition,
But do you think you
could say a little prayer?
Oh, I'm already praying.
But what about you?
Why don't you give it a shot?
Well, I would but...
It's like calling up someone
You haven't seen in years
And asking them for a loan.
It'd be a little nervy.
[Laughing]
It doesn't work that way, blair.
If you have something to ask,
It's okay. God's listening.
Yeah? Yeah.
Anyone lending me her volkswagen
To learn how to drive
Would never have to worry.
She's so subtle.
Well, you promise to
be very careful with it?
Promise. Mm.
I'm such a soft touch.
Look to the left.
Look to the right.
Look to the left.
Look to the right.
Look to the left. Look
to the right, and stop.
I don't think I can.
Natalie.
All of a sudden,
you're grown up.
How could you do this to me?
It's partly your fault.
A flashback within a flashback.
I'm so brilliant it scares me.
What am I doing?
I can't make a
decision like this
Without talking it
over with you girls.
First, we'd have to find someone
To take my place in the shop...
Mrs. Garrett... We've
been talking it over.
It's not going to be
the same without you,
But if this is something
you have to do...
You'll always have
us wherever you go.
Girls...
Thanks.
it was all settled.
we were planning a big wedding,
and mrs. Garrett's
sister, beverly ann,
was coming to help run the shop
and look after us...
though, there was
a reasonable doubt
as to just how much
help she was gonna be.
Yes, beverly ann, I'm
writing it down for her.
You're in your winnebago,
You're lost on the
jersey turnpike,
And you're afraid she's
making a terrible mistake.
Right. I'll tell her.
Girls, I have to
tell you something.
That was beverly ann.
Everything's fine.
I just spoke to bruce.
The wedding's off.
What?
The departure
date was pushed up.
The hospital ship
sails tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
At : a.m.
I barely have
enough time to pack.
Now, hold on. Where do you think
You're going to get married?
It'll have to be on the boat
Or later, when we get there.
I don't think so.
You think you can just
run off and live in sin
With the first do-gooder
who comes along?
Sorry, but we've been
waiting seven years
To be bridesmaids for you.
Blair, we only have eight hours.
We can't put together
a wedding in that time.
It's impossible!
We don't even have our
marriage license yet.
Mrs. Garrett,
nothing is impossible.
Granddad warner once said to me,
"Blair, the first three letters
In impossible are 'imp.'"
They took him away
not long after that.
Girls, take notes.
The first note...
No wedding shower.
No wedding shower?
Okay, a small one.
Let's go.
I'll do decorations.
I see white, or whatever
color is at the - .
So...
Are you gonna wear
your hair up or down?
In africa?
No, for the wedding.
I haven't made up my mind yet.
You know, when I came
here six years ago,
Well, I was...
You really...
I'm never gonna forget
everything you did for me.
I won't forget
what you did for me.
Have you got the marriage
license yet or what, blair?
All right, let's cut right to
the bottom line, mr. City clerk,
How much is it gonna
cost me to get you
To go down and
open up city hall?
I'm talking cold,
hard cash money.
Money you can actually earn,
Rather than bilking
it from the taxpayers.
That's the way. Smooth talk him.
All right, five pair.
That ought to be enough.
Tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee.
[Chuckling]
What are you talking about?
When I first came to eastland,
I got the mumps,
And mrs. Garrett entertained me
For hours doing this.
Hours, huh?
I need this marriage license.
I promised.
You see, she's more
than just a housemother,
More than a friend,
she's mrs. Garrett,
And she's getting
married in five hours,
And I don't know what
I'm gonna do without her.
Have a heart.
Tootie, packing
means putting clothes
Into a suitcase.
Jo, I can't help it, all right?
Everything that
I've tried to pack
Has a memory attached to it.
Tootie, could you
pack these, too?
I got the marriage license.
Everything is all set.
Oh!
Thank you, blair.
All of you.
You... You're doing
all this for me?
We owe you.
Girls, I just want you to know
How important you've been to me.
I...
Every button I've sewed,
Every tear I've dried...
Every secret I've kept,
Every hour I've spent
waiting or talking,
Or listening...
Was so important.
And...
I hope you felt
loved, very much...
Because you always were...
And you always will be.
there were a lot of things
I wish I'd told mrs. Garrett
before she left for africa.
but you know me,
if I tried to say them out loud,
i'd probably say
something stupid like,
"don't forget to look both ways
before crossing the nile."
but, I digress.
you are cordially invited
to the wedding of
edna ann garrett
to dr. Bruce gaines.
Oh, you guys! It
looks beautiful!
Flowers! You got flowers!
You stole those from
the park, didn't you?
Don't be absurd. That's illegal.
I found them growing wild.
Wild tulips?
I guess that's possible.
Half-crazed renegade dutchmen
Running through
the city streets,
Planting bulbs with
reckless abandon.
I'd buy it.
Are we in time for the wedding?
We're just waiting for
the minister to arrive.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
No. I'm all strung out
From the all-night bingo.
How are we doing?
Well, let's check the schedule.
Uh... : A.m... Guests arrive.
I guess that's them.
Psst, psst, psst!
Excuse us. Okay.
Natalie, i, uh... I
found a minister.
He's taking his bicycle,
So he should be here any minute.
Okay. Sit down.
Mrs. Garrett, you
look beautiful.
Don't lie to me, tootie.
I want the truth.
Jo, how do I look?
You look beautiful.
Of all people, I thought
I could trust you.
Look at this veil.
Look at this veil!
I can't wear this veil.
There... There are holes in it.
Mrs. G, if there
weren't holes in it,
You couldn't see through it.
Seeing through it was a big
factor in choosing lace over,
Oh, let's say, terry cloth.
Mrs. Garret, you
just have the jitters.
Everyone has the jitters
Before they get married
and move to africa.
I'll be fine. Beverly
ann, beverly ann,
Where's beverly ann?
I can't get married
without my sister.
I'll go look for her. Okay.
Oh, thanks. [Gasping]
Oh, tootie, I just
realized something.
Who's going to give me away?
Don't worry about
it, mrs. Garrett.
Uh... I'll give you away.
You could do that?
You could just give me away?
Never.
But I'd be proud to.
Thank you, tootie.
Beverly ann's here!
Yeah, yeah, you've
got plenty of room.
That's all right,
just back her up.
No... Turn the
wheels to the right.
No... The hand you write with.
That's it. No... [Thumping]
No, no, no, that's fine.
If they didn't want you
to park on the sidewalk,
They would have posted a sign.
Where's the minister?
Maybe he decided not to come.
Maybe he has no
jurisdiction after midnight!
I'll phone him. Why
don't you go se...
Edna! Oh!
Beverly ann!
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Mm, oh!
You aren't married yet, are you?
No. Oh!
Who is this man, huh?
What do you know about him?
If you don't mind,
this is private.
Beverly ann, this is bruce.
Bruce, my sister, beverly ann.
Oh.
I've heard nothing but
nice things about you.
Oh.
Would you excuse
us for a moment?
Are you... Are
you sure this is...
What you want to
do? This is so sudden.
I know.
But I had to make up
my mind very quickly.
Edna.
I always thought we were close.
We are.
Well, you barely
mentioned this man to me,
And now you're getting married.
Well, I didn't
want to bring it up
While you were
still going through
Your problems with frank.
Edna... I love
that you're happy.
And, even though
my marriage was...
For lack of a better
word, pathetic...
There's a better
than average chance
That yours will be just fine.
Well, of course it will.
Bruce is a very
kind, considerate,
And loving man.
And frank wasn't?
[Horn honking]
I'll move it! I'll move it!
I feel like we're
already family.
Don't you?
You okay?
Oh, yeah. Fine. I'm just fine.
Everything's moving so fast.
There was no answer
at the minister's house,
So he must be on the way.
[Honking, crashing]
Mrs. G, I don't want
you to take this
As a bad omen, but
your sister just parked
On a man of the cloth.
i know "till death do us part"
is part of the wedding ceremony,
but I don't think it's
supposed to apply
to the minister.
jo went to call the paramedics.
and I went for a cup of coffee.
Not then, now.
fortunately, the minister
was merely shaken up.
and as for mrs. Garrett,
she swore that if she
ever got married again,
she'd have valet parking.
How many "ls" in valet?
We don't know what's
happened to him yet.
Is he all right?
Is he gonna be okay?
At least, is he okay?
I think... I think he's okay.
Nothing seems broken.
I stopped the second I
saw him leave his feet.
If I weren't a minister,
I'd sue you for
everything you've got.
I'm sorry. It was an accident.
To err is human,
to forgive, divine.
I'll be the judge of that.
Jo called an ambulance
just to be safe.
It should be here any second.
I'm sorry there was no wedding.
Uh, a bus will be along
In a... Couple of hours.
Bruce, I can't go
through with this.
Well, we'll get
married on the ship,
Or when we land.
We'll wing it.
We're winging all of this...
The wedding, going to africa.
This is my life
we're talking about.
I... I can't just wing it.
I know we're going
fast... Too fast, bruce.
I'm not like this.
I take my time,
I make solid,
thoughtful decisions,
And then I stick by them.
And i... I just don't
do things on a whim.
[Sirens approaching]
This isn't the edna
garrett that I love.
This is a woman who's
afraid to do something new
Because it's happening too fast.
[Doors closing]
The paramedics are here.
Edna, I love you, more
than anything else.
I want you to come with me,
But one way or
another, I'm going.
Dr. Gaines, do you
want to ride with us?
I'm coming.
Are you?
N... No.
I know why you said that.
I wouldn't ride in the back
Of one of those
things if you paid me.
Beverly ann, not now.
What's going on?
I'm not leaving.
Come on, mrs. G, you
can't bail out now.
Just hold on one second.
This has something to
do with me, doesn't it?
It's not just you.
A thousand things
went wrong today.
Yes, but I managed to show up
Just when something wonderful
Was gonna happen to you
And ruin everything again.
I always do this to you.
Beverly, that's not true.
Oh, yeah?
What about your last wedding...
Your anniversary...
The senior prom...
And that... Ugly
incident in kindergarten?
I don't care about those things.
I've forgotten
about those things.
And I'm sure that
one day I'll forget
That the man I love just...
Just walked out that door...
The minute you walked in.
I'd better go talk to her.
No! I'll go do it.
I'm her sister.
That's what she needs right now.
I don't think so.
You've done enough already.
I'll go with you.
Mrs. G...
You know, first thing
tomorrow morning,
I'm going to order some more
Of those flamingo umbrellas.
You can't just let
him walk out like that!
Oh, I could never leave here.
Peekskill in the fall.
All those colors.
Yeah, when it comes
to natural beauty,
Africa's got nothing on
the peekskill-cortland area.
He loves you. You love him.
I'd really rather
not talk about it.
Edna's told me so
much about you all.
I just wanted to make
a good impression.
Every year at christmas,
She'd send me pictures
of you all together.
I must admit, I was
a little jealous
Because... Frank
and i... We never had...
You know... Sex.
It made having children
that much harder.
Oh, well.
Well, what do we do now?
Gifts! I brought gifts.
Maybe this isn't the time.
What have you got?
I don't think we're
much in the mood.
Guess I really messed
things up, didn't i?
You're acting like an idiot.
Thank you, jo.
No, I mean it.
Look, if there's one thing
you always taught us
It's that you can't
solve a problem
By running away from it.
And that's exactly
what you're doing.
You wouldn't let any
of us get away with it,
So why should we let you?
Please! Just leave me alone.
Well, she doesn't want
to talk to anybody.
Where's beverly ann?
She left.
Well... Here I am again.
Another night.
Another lonely trailer park.
Oh, well...
At least out here I
can't hurt anyone.
Except for those poor
little animals on the road.
But they take their chances.
[Knocking on door]
Hello!
Natalie: beverly ann, it's us.
If you're from the gas station,
Just take your hose
out of the t*nk and go.
Tootie: it's us... Tootie,
jo, blair, and natalie.
You always put me last.
I do not.
Oh! Hi.
Come on in. Thanks.
Oh. Sit down. Oh, thanks.
Would you girls
like a bubble up?
No, thank you.
Remember, we were
a little hard on her,
So try and be nice.
I'm not a moron, jo.
Oh, my stars, it's hideous!
I mean that in the nicest way.
How did you girls find me?
You left this map
With directions and a big arrow.
Oh, how careless of me.
We thought we were
a little hard on you.
In fact, we were pretty cold.
Yeah, but tootie was the worst.
Natalie.
You were.
Okay, she's right.
See, it wasn't you.
It's just that you were coming
To take mrs.
Garrett's place, and...
I'm not explaining this well.
Okay. I'll make an analogy.
Let's pretend you're the devil.
And you've been sent from
the bowels of the earth
To smite an angel.
Tootie isn't our
regular spokesperson.
What tootie doesn't
realize she's saying is,
Is that, we didn't
really give you a chance,
And we're sorry.
Edna put you up
to this, didn't she?
Actually, she doesn't
even know we're here.
Yeah. She was pretty busy
What with all that
crying and unpacking.
But we like you.
You do?
I think so.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I know it's silly, but...
I always thought of you girls
As my extended family.
When edna would write about
How she'd handled
one of your problems,
I would always think what
advice I would give you.
In all those years,
I wasn't right once.
Well, at least it gave me
a chance to participate,
If only vicariously.
I want to thank you for that.
[Knocking on door]
May I come in?
You found the map, huh?
Yes. I was lucky to find it
Hanging from the
chandelier like that.
Beverly ann, I came
to tell you I was sorry.
Maybe we should
leave you two alone.
We'll just step
into the other room.
You're sorry?
It wasn't your fault.
Oh, you mean... That I
ran over the minister.
No... That was your fault.
But I didn't have to
call everything off.
I got scared, and...
And so I blamed it on you
'Cause you were there.
And because I ran
over the minister.
Oh, it's all for the best.
This whole incident
has made me realize
I must not really love bruce.
If I did, I would
have gone with him.
And if he loved me...
He wouldn't have left.
Bruce: edna!
Bruce! Oh, bruce!
How did you find us?
Process of elimination.
This was the only map I found
Glued to my windshield.
I'll just step into
the other room.
I thought you were on
your way to the docks.
I was, but I couldn't
leave without you.
Oh, edna, I love you.
If you want me to stay,
I'll stay. Just marry me.
Oh, bruce, of
course I'll marry you,
And I want to go with you,
But there's no time. Ah!
I thought of that.
Oh, bruce!
You think of everything.
Hi. Ah!
You didn't tell
em she'd be here.
Uh, if you don't mind,
I'll just wait out
here in the woods.
At least with the bears,
You know where you stand.
Look, if we hurry we can
make it back to the house,
Have the wedding,
you can make the ship.
What do you say?
How fast does this crate fly?
Ok! Yay! Yay!
I'll drive.
No! No! No!
I'll drive. May i?
Of course you may.
Oh, thanks. All right.
Just take off the
brake... [Engine starting]
And put her in reverse.
All right.
[Crashing] [all shouting]
What happened?
I think we've
driven off a cliff.
We're caught on the guardrail.
What do we do now?
Well, we don't panic.
[Grinding] [all shouting]
I think we handled that well.
[All shouting]
Edna, get... Oh!
Get out of here.
Get to the back.
Wait a minute.
Curtains... Windows... Bars.
You put bars on your windows?
The way I drive, people
tend to seek revenge.
This is the minister.
I'm going for help.
Hold on and pray.
Thank you, your reverence.
All right, all we
gotta do is hold still
And wait for help.
Can we sing?
Sing?
That's what I do
when I'm scared.
What do you do?
Slap people.
[Grinding] [all screaming]
We can't wait for help.
I have an idea, but... But what?
But it would force
me to do something
Incredibly brave and selfless.
Sorry.
Blair.
Well, if we all joined together,
We may be able to lower someone
Down to that ledge down there.
So what's the problem?
That may not be a
ledge down there.
I'll go.
No, it's too dangerous.
So is hanging over a cliff.
It's my fault we're here.
Mine and edna's.
I'll get us out.
Let me go. No.
I'll need you here
to lower me down.
Beverly ann...
Beverly... Thanks.
[Thudding]
Beverly ann?
I'm down here! I'm all right!
Tootie: okay.
All right, let's
get a move on it.
Blair, you're next.
Blair?
I'm fine! I made it!
Jo, you're next.
Come on, jo. Be really careful.
Easy, jo. Easy.
Go slow.
I can't. I'm afraid of heights.
Jo, it'll be all right.
Blair's down there to catch you.
That's a selling point?
[Grinding] [all screaming]
Hurry, girls.
I'll go.
My mama didn't raise no fool.
I love you.
Yeah, right, save it.
Natalie, you go next.
Okay.
Are you scared?
Jo, there is a time
to be frightened...
And a time to be brave.
Aah!
[Thudding]
Natalie: see? Piece of cake.
I can't go, mrs. G,
so skip the lecture.
Jo, you've got to go.
You're the only chance I've got
Of getting out of here.
Why?
'Cause I'm not leaving here
Until all you girls are safe.
Natalie: come on, jo!
Your friends are waiting.
What more could you ask for?
Wings?
I'm all right!
Get up, blair.
Natalie: wait, mrs.
Garrett, don't jump.
Oh!
The ledge must have given way.
[Grinding]
Oh.
I had a dream I
was going to die.
I didn't.
I guess our fate is
In the hands of
the man upstairs.
Hello!
She'll do.
I'd forgotten all
about this thing.
well, we were all safe,
including yours truly.
although, you might
have guessed that already
from the fact that
this isn't being written
by a ghostwriter.
I never could resist a good pun.
the wedding was on again,
and it was gonna be held
outdoors in the trailer park.
well, you know what they say,
something old, something new,
something borrowed, and
something with a septic t*nk.
Well, mrs. G, I rounded
up a couple of guests.
But don't expect any presents.
Well, is the minister ready
To perform the ceremony?
Yeah, and he's assured
me the barbecue area
Will make a lovely setting.
I don't know about this
Wedding-in-the-woods
business, mrs. Garrett.
Why couldn't we have
it in the country club,
The way god intended?
Thanks for your concern, blair,
But there wouldn't be
time to catch the boat.
Look, I made a bridal bouquet.
Oh, blueberries.
Thank you, tootie.
Just be careful how you toss it.
Hey, look. I borrowed candles.
All right. Oh!
I've always wanted a
candlelight procession.
Yeah, and this kind will
keep the mosquitoes away.
You know, I always
wondered what it would
Be like when you
girls left the house.
Now I'm leaving.
Don't worry, mrs. Garrett.
You've taught us well.
Ah.
It's the other way around.
Come on, what did we teach you,
That you couldn't have
learned eventually?
Well, natalie, you
taught me to laugh,
No matter how bad things got.
I'll miss you, natalie.
Tootie.
You taught me to dream
And to hold onto that dream
Until it comes true.
You're my vision, tootie.
Blair... Blair, blair, blair.
Yes, yes, yes?
Give me a minute.
I know.
What you taught me is
To never judge a
book by its cover.
On the outside, you
may appear to be...
Too perfect?
The important thing is inside,
You have a heart of gold,
And you love to let it shine.
Well... Gold is my color.
Jo.
You taught me
to say what I mean.
What I mean right now is...
I'm just going to
miss you all so much.
Come on. We have a
hundred things to do.
Edna... You look beautiful.
Thank you, beverly ann.
I must say, I'm... I'm
a little nervous.
Oh. About leaving
me with the girls.
Oh, no.
I'm not worried anymore.
Edna... I just want
you to know that...
I'm going to try to do my best
To always be just like you were
With the girls.
Beverly ann, you
just be yourself.
That's the best thing
you can give them.
I will.
And you be happy with
bruce, and do good things.
And this time, I'll send you
Letters about how
the girls are doing.
[Both laughing]
[Harmonica playing
wedding march]
Dearly beloved, survivors...
We are gathered in
this magnificent setting,
To join bruce gaines
and edna garrett
In the bonds of holy matrimony.
If any man can show
Why they may not
be joined together,
Let him speak now
Or forever hold his peace.
I said, "any man."
Bruce... You're
marrying my sister...
So, you take good
care of her, because...
She's special.
And because, if you don't,
I'll hunt you to the
ends of the earth.
Play ball!
Edna, do you take bruce
To be thy wedded husband,
To love and to cherish
In sickness and in health,
As long as you both shall live?
I will.
Bruce, do you take edna
To be thy wedded wife,
To love and to cherish
In sickness and in health
As long as you both shall live?
I will.
Uh... Do you have a ring?
Oh.
With this ring, I thee wed.
Those whom god
has joined together,
Let no man put asunder.
I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
You've earned it.
Wait a minute. Oh,
we need a picture.
Sir, do you mind?
No, not at all.
Well, as much as I'd like
To spend our honeymoon here,
We have a boat to catch.
May god bless all
your footsteps.
Ha-ho!
[Harmonica playing
wedding march]
Well, beverly
ann, let's go home.
and that's how we said good-bye
to dear mrs. Garrett.
and that's also how beverly ann
came to live with us.
Beverly ann: natalie?
I'm counting noses,
And your nose is missing.
I didn't talk to edna
specifically about this,
But I'm almost sure
That : a.m. Is
past your bedtime.
I'll be right up, beverly ann.
I'm nearly finished.
you take the bad ♪
♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪
♪ You're growin'
now you know about ♪
♪ The facts of life,
the facts of life ♪
♪ When the world never seems ♪
♪ To be livin' up
to your dreams ♪
♪ And suddenly
you're findin' out ♪
♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪
♪ All about you ♪
♪ You ♪
♪ All about you ♪
♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪
♪ When you're learnin'
the facts of life ♪
♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪
♪ Learnin' the facts of life ♪
♪ The facts of life ♪♪
[Typewriter keys clacking]
it was a dark and dreary night
when boris, the vampire prince,
first bit me on the neck.
no.
it was a clear and starry night
when derek, the cia agent,
first bit me on the neck.
what am I doing?
i'm forgetting the first
rule of good writing...
always write what
you know about.
let's see. What do I know about,
besides the first
rule of good writing?
well, I could write about...
no, I couldn't.
that was so personal, so
intimate, so gut-wrenching.
so why don't I do it?
it was a night like
any other night,
and yet, a night that would
change our lives forever.
we had just come
back to peekskill
from summer vacation,
and I had all these
bites on my neck.
Hold on a minute. There's
something's wrong here.
I come back from
summer vacation,
I'm standing in the living
room for five minutes,
And mrs. G hasn't shown up?
Tootie, what do you know?
Why would I know anything?
I've only been back for a day.
Tootie.
Okay, his name is bruce.
They met years
ago in the peace corps.
They bumped into each
other two months ago
And they've been seeing
each other every night since.
Tootie.
His home town is chicago.
His favorite song is moon river,
And he's reading ulysses,
But I think that's
just to throw me off.
This bruce, uh, what kind
of family does he come from?
Who are his people?
Sharecroppers, blair.
Ooh, except on
his mother's side.
They come from debtor's prison.
What does it matter?
If mrs. G likes him,
I'm sure he's a great guy.
A boyfriend, huh?
Now, stop it.
Jo: hey!
Blair! Jo! Oh!
You look so good.
I missed you so much.
We noticed.
Oh, uh, this is
dr. Bruce gaines.
I'd like you to meet blair, jo.
A pleasure. How you doing?
So, you're dating
mrs. Garrett, huh?
Well, dating is such
an old-fashioned word.
No, we're... Going steady.
Well, I guess you
two want to be alone.
More than you can imagine.
Oh, bruce. He's such a kidder.
Girls... Get out.
We can take a hint.
Oh, mrs. Garrett, your
sister, beverly ann, called.
She said that she's lost
In connecticut in her winnebago.
I told her that
peekskill is west,
So she should drive
towards the setting sun.
Well, that ought to
hold her till morning.
She said she'd try that
first thing in the morning.
Let's get some pizza.
Okay. Oh... Wasn't
that a great movie?
I love oklahoma.
Every time I see it, it
reminds me of africa.
Oh, everything
reminds you of africa.
Well...
We did have some good
times there, didn't we?
Ah, yeah. Do you remember...
I remember the first time
That I saw you... Oh.
With your hair pulled
back in a bandana.
You turned, you saw me,
And then you slipped
and fell in quicksand.
You pulled me out.
I had to.
I was in love.
Lucky for me.
Hey.
They were good years, huh?
Mm-hmm.
But why look back, huh?
We're here now.
The night is beautiful.
The moon is full.
Edna... I want you to marry me.
Oh. Now this
reminds me of africa.
I meant it then
and I mean it now.
I want you to be my wife.
I don't know what to say.
Say yes... Please.
Bruce...
Yes!
But before you do...
I want you to know something.
I'm going back to
the peace corps.
And I want you to come with me.
The hospital ship sails
for africa in two weeks.
Africa?
Why not, huh?
Think of how you
could be contributing,
How we could be
contributing, side by side.
So, getting married
means going to africa.
Yeah. It has to.
Hey, let's do it while
we're still young.
Oh, I'd love to.
I... I can't.
I've, uh, I've
built a life here.
I have a shop. I have my girls.
Edna.
I'm sorry.
So am i.
Bruce... Will I see
you before you go?
Sure.
It was a wonderful dream.
It was a wonderful dream.
[edna] I've built a life here.
[edna] I've built a life here.
[funeral dirge]
friends, relatives, countrymen,
i come not to
praise mrs. Garrett,
but to bury her.
we who loved her the most
know just how important
she was in our lives.
sorry. I had a late lunch.
i'm writing her
obituary for the paper.
which headline
do you like better?
"friend of natalie green dies"
or "mrs. Garrett,
woman of no importance"?
bruce: excuse me.
i'd like to say a few words.
♪♪
they call me bruce...
bruce of africa.
i almost married this woman.
she would have
been edna of africa.
by the way, how did she die?
all right, big
deal. I k*lled her.
♪♪
i had to. She was
boring me to death.
♪♪
she never did anything
but bake cookies
day after day,
month after month,
and they were all round.
someone had to stop her.
a jury of my peers
will prove me innocent.
she's innocent.
[applause]
yay! All right!
natalie: okay.
funeral adjourned.
wait! Come back!
you can't leave yet!
isn't this a little out of line?
i supppose it is,
but I have to believe
that my life had meaning.
i did help people.
i did give of myself.
i... I...
trust us. It's better this way.
oh, please, please!
i've done things!
i've done things!
I have done
something with my life!
I have! I have!
Mrs. Garrett, wake up.
You're having a nightmare
Or gas or something.
What is it? What's going on?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I was having the
most horrible dream.
she told us her dream.
she was right, it was the worst.
but she had more news
to tell us, about bruce.
and this was no dream.
He asked me to marry him.
Great! Great! He did?
And live in africa.
That's ridiculous! Forget it!
He wants me to
join the peace corps
And go back to africa with him.
The peace corps?
But that's a
two-year commitment.
I know!
Well, I can think
of a million reasons
Why I shouldn't go,
But I felt so good about myself
When I was in the peace corps.
Mrs. Garrett, that
was over years ago.
You're older now.
A lot older.
Years older.
Someone stop me.
What natalie's trying to say
Is africa's a rough town.
Wait a minute, guys.
Maybe going back
into the peace corps
Would give her life
a whole new meaning.
Oh, tootie, that's
what hobbies are for.
Mrs. Garrett, if you stay here,
We'll all chip in
And buy you one of
those little bonsai trees.
Girls, I've made up my mind.
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna marry bruce
And go back into
the peace corps!
I've got to tell him.
Was it something I said?
Probably. After
listening to you,
I'm considering it myself.
After seven years,
this is what we get.
"Good-bye. I'm going to africa."
Two years.
Well, it's not that bad.
Two years... Is she crazy?
How could she decide by herself?
She didn't even ask us.
Do you guys hear
what we just said?
Did we just corner the
market on selfishness, or what?
Natalie, mrs. Garrett
Is talking about leaving.
And what are we gonna be doing
In a couple of years, jo?
You don't plan on living
The fest of your
life in peekskill.
Why should we
expect mrs. Garrett to?
Maybe blair's right.
Maybe we ought
to be happy for her.
I mean, she spent seven years
Helping us plan our futures.
I guess maybe she
deserves one of her own.
It's just hard to imagine
us here without mrs. G.
She's always been here for us.
You believe it? I'm broke.
I got no place to live.
I can't find a job.
I'm on probation.
What do I need college for?
I can get all that in
my old neighborhood.
Jo, hold on to your horses.
Now, you need a part-time job
And a place to live, right?
Well, I happen to know someone
Who has an apartment
with an extra room
Right upstairs, and it's yours.
I hope you don't think this
is too much of an imposition,
But do you think you
could say a little prayer?
Oh, I'm already praying.
But what about you?
Why don't you give it a shot?
Well, I would but...
It's like calling up someone
You haven't seen in years
And asking them for a loan.
It'd be a little nervy.
[Laughing]
It doesn't work that way, blair.
If you have something to ask,
It's okay. God's listening.
Yeah? Yeah.
Anyone lending me her volkswagen
To learn how to drive
Would never have to worry.
She's so subtle.
Well, you promise to
be very careful with it?
Promise. Mm.
I'm such a soft touch.
Look to the left.
Look to the right.
Look to the left.
Look to the right.
Look to the left. Look
to the right, and stop.
I don't think I can.
Natalie.
All of a sudden,
you're grown up.
How could you do this to me?
It's partly your fault.
A flashback within a flashback.
I'm so brilliant it scares me.
What am I doing?
I can't make a
decision like this
Without talking it
over with you girls.
First, we'd have to find someone
To take my place in the shop...
Mrs. Garrett... We've
been talking it over.
It's not going to be
the same without you,
But if this is something
you have to do...
You'll always have
us wherever you go.
Girls...
Thanks.
it was all settled.
we were planning a big wedding,
and mrs. Garrett's
sister, beverly ann,
was coming to help run the shop
and look after us...
though, there was
a reasonable doubt
as to just how much
help she was gonna be.
Yes, beverly ann, I'm
writing it down for her.
You're in your winnebago,
You're lost on the
jersey turnpike,
And you're afraid she's
making a terrible mistake.
Right. I'll tell her.
Girls, I have to
tell you something.
That was beverly ann.
Everything's fine.
I just spoke to bruce.
The wedding's off.
What?
The departure
date was pushed up.
The hospital ship
sails tomorrow.
Tomorrow?
At : a.m.
I barely have
enough time to pack.
Now, hold on. Where do you think
You're going to get married?
It'll have to be on the boat
Or later, when we get there.
I don't think so.
You think you can just
run off and live in sin
With the first do-gooder
who comes along?
Sorry, but we've been
waiting seven years
To be bridesmaids for you.
Blair, we only have eight hours.
We can't put together
a wedding in that time.
It's impossible!
We don't even have our
marriage license yet.
Mrs. Garrett,
nothing is impossible.
Granddad warner once said to me,
"Blair, the first three letters
In impossible are 'imp.'"
They took him away
not long after that.
Girls, take notes.
The first note...
No wedding shower.
No wedding shower?
Okay, a small one.
Let's go.
I'll do decorations.
I see white, or whatever
color is at the - .
So...
Are you gonna wear
your hair up or down?
In africa?
No, for the wedding.
I haven't made up my mind yet.
You know, when I came
here six years ago,
Well, I was...
You really...
I'm never gonna forget
everything you did for me.
I won't forget
what you did for me.
Have you got the marriage
license yet or what, blair?
All right, let's cut right to
the bottom line, mr. City clerk,
How much is it gonna
cost me to get you
To go down and
open up city hall?
I'm talking cold,
hard cash money.
Money you can actually earn,
Rather than bilking
it from the taxpayers.
That's the way. Smooth talk him.
All right, five pair.
That ought to be enough.
Tweedle-dum and tweedle-dee.
[Chuckling]
What are you talking about?
When I first came to eastland,
I got the mumps,
And mrs. Garrett entertained me
For hours doing this.
Hours, huh?
I need this marriage license.
I promised.
You see, she's more
than just a housemother,
More than a friend,
she's mrs. Garrett,
And she's getting
married in five hours,
And I don't know what
I'm gonna do without her.
Have a heart.
Tootie, packing
means putting clothes
Into a suitcase.
Jo, I can't help it, all right?
Everything that
I've tried to pack
Has a memory attached to it.
Tootie, could you
pack these, too?
I got the marriage license.
Everything is all set.
Oh!
Thank you, blair.
All of you.
You... You're doing
all this for me?
We owe you.
Girls, I just want you to know
How important you've been to me.
I...
Every button I've sewed,
Every tear I've dried...
Every secret I've kept,
Every hour I've spent
waiting or talking,
Or listening...
Was so important.
And...
I hope you felt
loved, very much...
Because you always were...
And you always will be.
there were a lot of things
I wish I'd told mrs. Garrett
before she left for africa.
but you know me,
if I tried to say them out loud,
i'd probably say
something stupid like,
"don't forget to look both ways
before crossing the nile."
but, I digress.
you are cordially invited
to the wedding of
edna ann garrett
to dr. Bruce gaines.
Oh, you guys! It
looks beautiful!
Flowers! You got flowers!
You stole those from
the park, didn't you?
Don't be absurd. That's illegal.
I found them growing wild.
Wild tulips?
I guess that's possible.
Half-crazed renegade dutchmen
Running through
the city streets,
Planting bulbs with
reckless abandon.
I'd buy it.
Are we in time for the wedding?
We're just waiting for
the minister to arrive.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
No. I'm all strung out
From the all-night bingo.
How are we doing?
Well, let's check the schedule.
Uh... : A.m... Guests arrive.
I guess that's them.
Psst, psst, psst!
Excuse us. Okay.
Natalie, i, uh... I
found a minister.
He's taking his bicycle,
So he should be here any minute.
Okay. Sit down.
Mrs. Garrett, you
look beautiful.
Don't lie to me, tootie.
I want the truth.
Jo, how do I look?
You look beautiful.
Of all people, I thought
I could trust you.
Look at this veil.
Look at this veil!
I can't wear this veil.
There... There are holes in it.
Mrs. G, if there
weren't holes in it,
You couldn't see through it.
Seeing through it was a big
factor in choosing lace over,
Oh, let's say, terry cloth.
Mrs. Garret, you
just have the jitters.
Everyone has the jitters
Before they get married
and move to africa.
I'll be fine. Beverly
ann, beverly ann,
Where's beverly ann?
I can't get married
without my sister.
I'll go look for her. Okay.
Oh, thanks. [Gasping]
Oh, tootie, I just
realized something.
Who's going to give me away?
Don't worry about
it, mrs. Garrett.
Uh... I'll give you away.
You could do that?
You could just give me away?
Never.
But I'd be proud to.
Thank you, tootie.
Beverly ann's here!
Yeah, yeah, you've
got plenty of room.
That's all right,
just back her up.
No... Turn the
wheels to the right.
No... The hand you write with.
That's it. No... [Thumping]
No, no, no, that's fine.
If they didn't want you
to park on the sidewalk,
They would have posted a sign.
Where's the minister?
Maybe he decided not to come.
Maybe he has no
jurisdiction after midnight!
I'll phone him. Why
don't you go se...
Edna! Oh!
Beverly ann!
Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
Mm, oh!
You aren't married yet, are you?
No. Oh!
Who is this man, huh?
What do you know about him?
If you don't mind,
this is private.
Beverly ann, this is bruce.
Bruce, my sister, beverly ann.
Oh.
I've heard nothing but
nice things about you.
Oh.
Would you excuse
us for a moment?
Are you... Are
you sure this is...
What you want to
do? This is so sudden.
I know.
But I had to make up
my mind very quickly.
Edna.
I always thought we were close.
We are.
Well, you barely
mentioned this man to me,
And now you're getting married.
Well, I didn't
want to bring it up
While you were
still going through
Your problems with frank.
Edna... I love
that you're happy.
And, even though
my marriage was...
For lack of a better
word, pathetic...
There's a better
than average chance
That yours will be just fine.
Well, of course it will.
Bruce is a very
kind, considerate,
And loving man.
And frank wasn't?
[Horn honking]
I'll move it! I'll move it!
I feel like we're
already family.
Don't you?
You okay?
Oh, yeah. Fine. I'm just fine.
Everything's moving so fast.
There was no answer
at the minister's house,
So he must be on the way.
[Honking, crashing]
Mrs. G, I don't want
you to take this
As a bad omen, but
your sister just parked
On a man of the cloth.
i know "till death do us part"
is part of the wedding ceremony,
but I don't think it's
supposed to apply
to the minister.
jo went to call the paramedics.
and I went for a cup of coffee.
Not then, now.
fortunately, the minister
was merely shaken up.
and as for mrs. Garrett,
she swore that if she
ever got married again,
she'd have valet parking.
How many "ls" in valet?
We don't know what's
happened to him yet.
Is he all right?
Is he gonna be okay?
At least, is he okay?
I think... I think he's okay.
Nothing seems broken.
I stopped the second I
saw him leave his feet.
If I weren't a minister,
I'd sue you for
everything you've got.
I'm sorry. It was an accident.
To err is human,
to forgive, divine.
I'll be the judge of that.
Jo called an ambulance
just to be safe.
It should be here any second.
I'm sorry there was no wedding.
Uh, a bus will be along
In a... Couple of hours.
Bruce, I can't go
through with this.
Well, we'll get
married on the ship,
Or when we land.
We'll wing it.
We're winging all of this...
The wedding, going to africa.
This is my life
we're talking about.
I... I can't just wing it.
I know we're going
fast... Too fast, bruce.
I'm not like this.
I take my time,
I make solid,
thoughtful decisions,
And then I stick by them.
And i... I just don't
do things on a whim.
[Sirens approaching]
This isn't the edna
garrett that I love.
This is a woman who's
afraid to do something new
Because it's happening too fast.
[Doors closing]
The paramedics are here.
Edna, I love you, more
than anything else.
I want you to come with me,
But one way or
another, I'm going.
Dr. Gaines, do you
want to ride with us?
I'm coming.
Are you?
N... No.
I know why you said that.
I wouldn't ride in the back
Of one of those
things if you paid me.
Beverly ann, not now.
What's going on?
I'm not leaving.
Come on, mrs. G, you
can't bail out now.
Just hold on one second.
This has something to
do with me, doesn't it?
It's not just you.
A thousand things
went wrong today.
Yes, but I managed to show up
Just when something wonderful
Was gonna happen to you
And ruin everything again.
I always do this to you.
Beverly, that's not true.
Oh, yeah?
What about your last wedding...
Your anniversary...
The senior prom...
And that... Ugly
incident in kindergarten?
I don't care about those things.
I've forgotten
about those things.
And I'm sure that
one day I'll forget
That the man I love just...
Just walked out that door...
The minute you walked in.
I'd better go talk to her.
No! I'll go do it.
I'm her sister.
That's what she needs right now.
I don't think so.
You've done enough already.
I'll go with you.
Mrs. G...
You know, first thing
tomorrow morning,
I'm going to order some more
Of those flamingo umbrellas.
You can't just let
him walk out like that!
Oh, I could never leave here.
Peekskill in the fall.
All those colors.
Yeah, when it comes
to natural beauty,
Africa's got nothing on
the peekskill-cortland area.
He loves you. You love him.
I'd really rather
not talk about it.
Edna's told me so
much about you all.
I just wanted to make
a good impression.
Every year at christmas,
She'd send me pictures
of you all together.
I must admit, I was
a little jealous
Because... Frank
and i... We never had...
You know... Sex.
It made having children
that much harder.
Oh, well.
Well, what do we do now?
Gifts! I brought gifts.
Maybe this isn't the time.
What have you got?
I don't think we're
much in the mood.
Guess I really messed
things up, didn't i?
You're acting like an idiot.
Thank you, jo.
No, I mean it.
Look, if there's one thing
you always taught us
It's that you can't
solve a problem
By running away from it.
And that's exactly
what you're doing.
You wouldn't let any
of us get away with it,
So why should we let you?
Please! Just leave me alone.
Well, she doesn't want
to talk to anybody.
Where's beverly ann?
She left.
Well... Here I am again.
Another night.
Another lonely trailer park.
Oh, well...
At least out here I
can't hurt anyone.
Except for those poor
little animals on the road.
But they take their chances.
[Knocking on door]
Hello!
Natalie: beverly ann, it's us.
If you're from the gas station,
Just take your hose
out of the t*nk and go.
Tootie: it's us... Tootie,
jo, blair, and natalie.
You always put me last.
I do not.
Oh! Hi.
Come on in. Thanks.
Oh. Sit down. Oh, thanks.
Would you girls
like a bubble up?
No, thank you.
Remember, we were
a little hard on her,
So try and be nice.
I'm not a moron, jo.
Oh, my stars, it's hideous!
I mean that in the nicest way.
How did you girls find me?
You left this map
With directions and a big arrow.
Oh, how careless of me.
We thought we were
a little hard on you.
In fact, we were pretty cold.
Yeah, but tootie was the worst.
Natalie.
You were.
Okay, she's right.
See, it wasn't you.
It's just that you were coming
To take mrs.
Garrett's place, and...
I'm not explaining this well.
Okay. I'll make an analogy.
Let's pretend you're the devil.
And you've been sent from
the bowels of the earth
To smite an angel.
Tootie isn't our
regular spokesperson.
What tootie doesn't
realize she's saying is,
Is that, we didn't
really give you a chance,
And we're sorry.
Edna put you up
to this, didn't she?
Actually, she doesn't
even know we're here.
Yeah. She was pretty busy
What with all that
crying and unpacking.
But we like you.
You do?
I think so.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I know it's silly, but...
I always thought of you girls
As my extended family.
When edna would write about
How she'd handled
one of your problems,
I would always think what
advice I would give you.
In all those years,
I wasn't right once.
Well, at least it gave me
a chance to participate,
If only vicariously.
I want to thank you for that.
[Knocking on door]
May I come in?
You found the map, huh?
Yes. I was lucky to find it
Hanging from the
chandelier like that.
Beverly ann, I came
to tell you I was sorry.
Maybe we should
leave you two alone.
We'll just step
into the other room.
You're sorry?
It wasn't your fault.
Oh, you mean... That I
ran over the minister.
No... That was your fault.
But I didn't have to
call everything off.
I got scared, and...
And so I blamed it on you
'Cause you were there.
And because I ran
over the minister.
Oh, it's all for the best.
This whole incident
has made me realize
I must not really love bruce.
If I did, I would
have gone with him.
And if he loved me...
He wouldn't have left.
Bruce: edna!
Bruce! Oh, bruce!
How did you find us?
Process of elimination.
This was the only map I found
Glued to my windshield.
I'll just step into
the other room.
I thought you were on
your way to the docks.
I was, but I couldn't
leave without you.
Oh, edna, I love you.
If you want me to stay,
I'll stay. Just marry me.
Oh, bruce, of
course I'll marry you,
And I want to go with you,
But there's no time. Ah!
I thought of that.
Oh, bruce!
You think of everything.
Hi. Ah!
You didn't tell
em she'd be here.
Uh, if you don't mind,
I'll just wait out
here in the woods.
At least with the bears,
You know where you stand.
Look, if we hurry we can
make it back to the house,
Have the wedding,
you can make the ship.
What do you say?
How fast does this crate fly?
Ok! Yay! Yay!
I'll drive.
No! No! No!
I'll drive. May i?
Of course you may.
Oh, thanks. All right.
Just take off the
brake... [Engine starting]
And put her in reverse.
All right.
[Crashing] [all shouting]
What happened?
I think we've
driven off a cliff.
We're caught on the guardrail.
What do we do now?
Well, we don't panic.
[Grinding] [all shouting]
I think we handled that well.
[All shouting]
Edna, get... Oh!
Get out of here.
Get to the back.
Wait a minute.
Curtains... Windows... Bars.
You put bars on your windows?
The way I drive, people
tend to seek revenge.
This is the minister.
I'm going for help.
Hold on and pray.
Thank you, your reverence.
All right, all we
gotta do is hold still
And wait for help.
Can we sing?
Sing?
That's what I do
when I'm scared.
What do you do?
Slap people.
[Grinding] [all screaming]
We can't wait for help.
I have an idea, but... But what?
But it would force
me to do something
Incredibly brave and selfless.
Sorry.
Blair.
Well, if we all joined together,
We may be able to lower someone
Down to that ledge down there.
So what's the problem?
That may not be a
ledge down there.
I'll go.
No, it's too dangerous.
So is hanging over a cliff.
It's my fault we're here.
Mine and edna's.
I'll get us out.
Let me go. No.
I'll need you here
to lower me down.
Beverly ann...
Beverly... Thanks.
[Thudding]
Beverly ann?
I'm down here! I'm all right!
Tootie: okay.
All right, let's
get a move on it.
Blair, you're next.
Blair?
I'm fine! I made it!
Jo, you're next.
Come on, jo. Be really careful.
Easy, jo. Easy.
Go slow.
I can't. I'm afraid of heights.
Jo, it'll be all right.
Blair's down there to catch you.
That's a selling point?
[Grinding] [all screaming]
Hurry, girls.
I'll go.
My mama didn't raise no fool.
I love you.
Yeah, right, save it.
Natalie, you go next.
Okay.
Are you scared?
Jo, there is a time
to be frightened...
And a time to be brave.
Aah!
[Thudding]
Natalie: see? Piece of cake.
I can't go, mrs. G,
so skip the lecture.
Jo, you've got to go.
You're the only chance I've got
Of getting out of here.
Why?
'Cause I'm not leaving here
Until all you girls are safe.
Natalie: come on, jo!
Your friends are waiting.
What more could you ask for?
Wings?
I'm all right!
Get up, blair.
Natalie: wait, mrs.
Garrett, don't jump.
Oh!
The ledge must have given way.
[Grinding]
Oh.
I had a dream I
was going to die.
I didn't.
I guess our fate is
In the hands of
the man upstairs.
Hello!
She'll do.
I'd forgotten all
about this thing.
well, we were all safe,
including yours truly.
although, you might
have guessed that already
from the fact that
this isn't being written
by a ghostwriter.
I never could resist a good pun.
the wedding was on again,
and it was gonna be held
outdoors in the trailer park.
well, you know what they say,
something old, something new,
something borrowed, and
something with a septic t*nk.
Well, mrs. G, I rounded
up a couple of guests.
But don't expect any presents.
Well, is the minister ready
To perform the ceremony?
Yeah, and he's assured
me the barbecue area
Will make a lovely setting.
I don't know about this
Wedding-in-the-woods
business, mrs. Garrett.
Why couldn't we have
it in the country club,
The way god intended?
Thanks for your concern, blair,
But there wouldn't be
time to catch the boat.
Look, I made a bridal bouquet.
Oh, blueberries.
Thank you, tootie.
Just be careful how you toss it.
Hey, look. I borrowed candles.
All right. Oh!
I've always wanted a
candlelight procession.
Yeah, and this kind will
keep the mosquitoes away.
You know, I always
wondered what it would
Be like when you
girls left the house.
Now I'm leaving.
Don't worry, mrs. Garrett.
You've taught us well.
Ah.
It's the other way around.
Come on, what did we teach you,
That you couldn't have
learned eventually?
Well, natalie, you
taught me to laugh,
No matter how bad things got.
I'll miss you, natalie.
Tootie.
You taught me to dream
And to hold onto that dream
Until it comes true.
You're my vision, tootie.
Blair... Blair, blair, blair.
Yes, yes, yes?
Give me a minute.
I know.
What you taught me is
To never judge a
book by its cover.
On the outside, you
may appear to be...
Too perfect?
The important thing is inside,
You have a heart of gold,
And you love to let it shine.
Well... Gold is my color.
Jo.
You taught me
to say what I mean.
What I mean right now is...
I'm just going to
miss you all so much.
Come on. We have a
hundred things to do.
Edna... You look beautiful.
Thank you, beverly ann.
I must say, I'm... I'm
a little nervous.
Oh. About leaving
me with the girls.
Oh, no.
I'm not worried anymore.
Edna... I just want
you to know that...
I'm going to try to do my best
To always be just like you were
With the girls.
Beverly ann, you
just be yourself.
That's the best thing
you can give them.
I will.
And you be happy with
bruce, and do good things.
And this time, I'll send you
Letters about how
the girls are doing.
[Both laughing]
[Harmonica playing
wedding march]
Dearly beloved, survivors...
We are gathered in
this magnificent setting,
To join bruce gaines
and edna garrett
In the bonds of holy matrimony.
If any man can show
Why they may not
be joined together,
Let him speak now
Or forever hold his peace.
I said, "any man."
Bruce... You're
marrying my sister...
So, you take good
care of her, because...
She's special.
And because, if you don't,
I'll hunt you to the
ends of the earth.
Play ball!
Edna, do you take bruce
To be thy wedded husband,
To love and to cherish
In sickness and in health,
As long as you both shall live?
I will.
Bruce, do you take edna
To be thy wedded wife,
To love and to cherish
In sickness and in health
As long as you both shall live?
I will.
Uh... Do you have a ring?
Oh.
With this ring, I thee wed.
Those whom god
has joined together,
Let no man put asunder.
I now pronounce
you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
You've earned it.
Wait a minute. Oh,
we need a picture.
Sir, do you mind?
No, not at all.
Well, as much as I'd like
To spend our honeymoon here,
We have a boat to catch.
May god bless all
your footsteps.
Ha-ho!
[Harmonica playing
wedding march]
Well, beverly
ann, let's go home.
and that's how we said good-bye
to dear mrs. Garrett.
and that's also how beverly ann
came to live with us.
Beverly ann: natalie?
I'm counting noses,
And your nose is missing.
I didn't talk to edna
specifically about this,
But I'm almost sure
That : a.m. Is
past your bedtime.
I'll be right up, beverly ann.
I'm nearly finished.