02x16 - Betty Hates Carter

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Father Knows Best". Aired: October 3, 1954 - May 23, 1960.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


The series, which began on radio in 1949, follows the lives of the Andersons, a middle-class family living in the town of Springfield.
Post Reply

02x16 - Betty Hates Carter

Post by bunniefuu »

Male announcer: robert young...

And jane wyatt...

With elinor donahue, billy
gray, and lauren chapin

In father knows best.

Mr. Chairman, fellow delegates,

It is a real pleasure
to welcome you

To the 27th annual convention

Of the tri-state insurance
underwriters association.

On being chosen to
welcome you to springfield,

I feel like the man who...

I ask you kind listeners
to withhold comment

Until after I've run
through the whole speech.

Is that clear?

Yes, daddy.

Uh, I feel like the man who...

Are you gonna tell that
cornball joke again, dad?

How do you know it's cornball?

You don't even know what it is.

Isn't it the one about the guy
that goes into the hardware store

And asks for the soup ladle?

Well, I've changed
it... A little.

Besides, what's wrong with it?

It always gets a big
laugh. Go ahead, use it.

Your funeral, not mine.

Is the speech over, daddy? Yes.

It was very good.

Now may I go out and play?

I wish you would.

Oh, over already?
I wanted to hear it.

How'd it go?

That'll give you an idea.

Oh, don't worry, you'll
do all right. You always do.

Say, why don't you throw in that
hardware store joke of yours?

That cornball thing?

Oh, by the way, guess who's
in town for the convention?

Ward mawson.

Oh, wonderful! Is
evelyn here, too?

Evelyn is here,
and so is their son.

Would you believe
that scrawny little kid

Is a sophomore in college? No!

Well, I have to run.
Evelyn will call you.

Oh, ward suggested we go to
the saturday night dance together.

Good! That'd be wonderful.

What saturday night dance?

The big convention shindig.

Oh, by the way,
you're going, too! I am?

Yes, I fixed up a date for
you with the mawson boy.

"Carter," I think, his name is.

You did what?!

Well, the poor kid doesn't
know a soul in town,

So I thought this would be nice.

Oh, you thought it'd be nice.

Did you ever think
what I might think?

Betty, what's the matter?
Did I do something wrong?

"Wrong"? Father, what age
do you think we're living in?

Girls are no longer
put on an auction block

And sold like livestock.

Betty, I'm not asking
you to marry him.

This is just a courtesy
to an old friend of mine.

What does he look
like? Well, he's, uh...

Well, I haven't seen
him for 15 years,

But I'm sure he's
a fine looking boy.

His father's very nice looking.

Did you get me a date
with his father, too?

Honey, will you reason with
her? I have to leave. All right.

I'm not going.

How tall is he? I don't know!

I told you I haven't seen him...

Probably a foot
shorter than I am.

Oh, I can see myself galloping
around the dance floor

With this little squirt.

He's not a little squirt. How do
you know? You haven't seen him.

He'll probably come to
get me on a motorcycle.

Betty, all I'm asking... What kind
of motorcycle does he got, dad?

I don't know! Father, tell me...

Look, you can find out
all about him tonight.

I invited him over to dinner.
You can get acquainted.

See you later.

He's coming to dinner?

Tonight?

Boy, I hope he brings
his motorcycle.

Maybe one date
isn't so important,

But it's the principle
of the thing.

If I let father get
away with it this time,

There's no telling
what it'll lead to.

Oh, betty, stop it.

I've heard nothing else all day.

Why don't you put on
something else? A nice dress.

The least you can
do is fix up a little.

Why should I fix
up for some galoot

I don't care a rap about?

Now, I know your father
should've consulted you,

But it won't hurt you
to go along with it.

Oh, I can tell the way he rings
the bell what he looks like.

There is one of the
homeliest boys I've ever seen.

I'm not going in
there. Yes, you are.

And he may look
like a combination

Of clark gable and
rudolph valentino.

Tsk. Fat chance.

Jim: come in, carter.
Nice to see you.

Well, that was
fast. What happened?

Father's talking to him.

Mother, I was wrong
about carter's looks.

There, you see?

He's worse! What?

You should see him.

Oh, he looks like boris karloff

Playing abraham
lincoln as a boy.

Oh, he can't be that bad.

Besides, a person's looks
are the least important thing.

I'm sure he's very nice.

Betty, the mawson boy is
waiting for you in the living room.

Let him wait. What?

You made the date with
him, you go entertain him.

Now, you listen
to me, young lady,

Ward mawson and I
are very good friends,

And all I'm asking you to do...

Father, when are you gonna
realize that I'm a person,

An individual, a human being?

Excuse me...

Could I please have
a drink of water?

I was just licking this stamp

To put on this letter
to a friend of mine,

And I don't like the
taste of this glue.

Oh, well, certainly.

Betty, get a glass of water.

Margaret, may I
present carter mawson.

Hello, carter.

We've met before, but I'm
sure you don't remember it.

You were just
about, well, this tall.

Here.

And this, of course, is betty.

How do you do?

How do you do? Excuse me.

You two have also met
before, but about that time,

Betty was crawling around
in three-cornered pants.

Thanks.

Betty, why don't you and carter

Go in the living room
and, uh, get acquainted

While we get dinner.

Yes, father. Come along.

Ooh, I'm afraid you're
fighting a losing battle, dear.

I don't see that I've done
anything so terrible, so tragic.

Well, that's because there's
one thing you've never been.

What have I never been?

A 17-year-old girl.

Mr. Mawson, may I speak plainly?

Sure. Anything's better
than what we've got now.

I know how you got roped into
this date with me for saturday night,

And I'm against such
parental interference.

And you're free
to break the date.

Amen, sister.

You understand this is
nothing against you personally.

Oh, I understand.

Just because two
insurance men are old pals,

Does that mean their
children will fall madly in love?

It certainly does not.

These are matters
of free choice.

Right. Free choice.

Now, take you...

Actually, you're not too
bad looking, as looks go, but...

What is beauty?

Nothing.

A mere exterior trapping
doled out by nature

In unfair proportions.

Now, you... You got a break.

But... So what... What
have we in common?

Nothing.

Nothing but a pair of
middle-aged insurance men.

You know why they
want to run our lives?

I'll tell you why.

They're trying to
justify their existence

By making us think we need them.

That's why they want
to keep us in rompers.

Betty: or three-cornered pants.

Oh, I'm so mortified at father.

Wait till you meet my dad. You'll
get the same deal, only worse.

I tell ya that the
whole thing is a...

An atavistic throwback.

Oh, I agree
complete... It's a what?

An atavistic throw...

You'll understand such
things when you get to my age.

There's another thing
between us... The age barrier.

How old are you, anyway?

Seventeen.

There you are.

I'm 19, almost 20.

You know, if you don't want to,

You don't even have to
stay for dinner tonight.

Well, i, uh, don't intend to.

I've inflicted myself
on you long enough.

Wh-what are you
havin' for dinner?

Oh, I don't know. Just some
old fried chicken and stuff.

Biscuits.

If... Of course, now...

If you think that your
folks would feel...

Oh, what do we
care what they feel?

Yeah, you're right.

If we don't take
a firm stand now...

Fried chicken, did you say?

If we don't take
a firm stand now,

We might just as well give up.

You've been very understanding.

You're the most understanding
person I've ever met.

It's too bad we're
so badly mismatched.

Yeah, well, it's not
often you find a girl

Who thinks as straight as
you do, especially so young.

Someday I might write a book
about a character like you.

Oh, are you a writer?

Well, I guess this
is good-bye, betty.

Good-bye, carter.

Well, dinner's
ready, so everyone...

Where's carter?

Young mr. Mawson, your hero,

Decided not to stay for dinner.

Not to stay?

He left?

Well, what kind of a boy is he?

He's a very intelligent
kind of a boy.

That's why he left.

But, my gosh, what's
ward going to say?

If ward had one-tenth
of the brains his son has,

He never would've let his son get
into such a compromising position.

The whole thing
is so... So atavistic.

Hello? Anybody home?

Oh, hello, carter.

I didn't mean to startle
you, mrs. Anderson.

I guess back home we
kinda get used to bustin' in

On all our old friends,

And you folks
certainly seem like...

I... The reason I came by...

I think I must've
left my letter here.

The one I was gonna
mail... That one.

Oh, well, uh, let's see now...

Well, where might
you have left it?

Probably... On the coffee table!

Uh, is, uh, is your
daughter home?

No, no, she's not
home from school yet.

Oh. We're in between
quarters at my college.

Oh, here! H-here it is.

Um, carter...

Last night... Did
betty say anything

To incline you not
to stay for dinner?

Because if she
did... Oh, no, ma'am!

It was all my idea.

Well, no. I don't
mean that exactly.

Uh, you see,

It's nothing against you, mrs.
Anderson, or your cooking,

It's... Well, it's,
uh... Too atavistic?

Huh?

Uh, yeah.

Um, y-yes, ma'am.

Uh, now, as far as your
daughter's concerned,

While she's not
particularly attractive to me,

She has a good insight into the
true nature of life... For her age.

Oh?

Yes, ma'am.

Well, I guess I'd
better be, uh...

Mother, I told janie
she could borrow

That little ol' fur piece
of yours to wear to...

Betty: hello...

Didn't think I'd see you again.

This letter... I... I came by
to get it. I'm just leaving.

Oh, well, I wouldn't have
time to talk to you, anyway,

Because I have things to do.

Yeah, well I gotta rush.
I gotta mail this, anyway.

Is that your girlfriend?

An acquaintance
majoring in english.

We discuss literature, mostly.

She has good brains.

Is she pretty?

Well, it's more a matter
of mutual interests.

We have a lot of
things we talk about.

But with you and me... Nothing.

At least we have sense
enough to realize it

And don't waste hours
boring each other.

Right.

What are you studying here?

Nothing you'd be interested in.

No... Major english poets.

I... I took that...
When I was a kid.

The ancient mariner, coleridge.

You know, there wasn't a
bad ol' boy, that coleridge.

"I looked upon the rotting sea,

"And drew my eyes away;

"I looked upon the rotting deck,

"And there the dead men lay.

The cold sweat"...

Am I keeping you from your work?

Oh! No, not at all.

I... I have other things to do.

Betty, maybe you'd
finish this for me...

The... The walls?

Yes, sir, that ol' boy
wasn't too bad a writer.

What sort of
things do you write?

Well, you know, a writer,

If he's worth his salt,
if he's gonna be great,

He's got to have
something to say.

Something important!

He... He has to feel
it right in here.

What is it you have
to say... To the world?

I haven't thought
of anything yet.

Hi, dad. How'd it go
at the convention?

Okay, I guess.

Phillip and cleveland
gave a speech

On "new, dynamic,
wide-awake selling angles,"

And everybody went to sleep.

Probably still drowsy
from that little gem

You opened the
convention with yesterday.

Listen, you should've
heard that little gem.

I k*lled them with
my hardware story.

I don't doubt it.
It's pretty deadly.

I sat next to ward
mawson, and he seemed...

I don't know, a little cool.

I can't blame him, the way
betty's treated his son.

Well, now, I think it's as much
carter's doing as it is hers.

I had a short talk
with him this afternoon.

This aftern... Was
he here today?

He's still here...
Talking to betty. He is?

They've decided they have
nothing to say to one another,

And so far they've
spent two hours saying it.

Oh... So that's the way it is.

Maybe everything'll work
out all right after all.

Oh, I wouldn't count on it.

Oh, sit down. Let
betty answer it.

Relax. Tell me all
about the convention.

Oh, hi, janie. Come on in.

Mother says you may
borrow the fur. I'll get it.

I surely appreciate it, betty.

Oh, janie little, this
is carter mawson.

How do you do? How do you do?

This ought to make you look
old enough for your date.

I've aged a good ten
years worrying about it.

Who's he? Gregory peck.

Have a nice time at
the theater, janie.

Okay, and thanks again, kiddo.

And nice to have
met you, mr. Mawsley.

You know, she isn't
too awful bad looking.

No, she's kinda cute.

Yeah, nice personality.

Well, I believe she made
quite an impression on you.

Oh, no, but, you know,

As a writer, I
observe all types.

Analyze 'em and stuff.

Well, now, she would
be much more your type.

Say, would you like to take her

To the convention
ball saturday night?

Oh, I don't... She'd be
your own free choice,

And that's what
we're fighting for.

Well, um, that makes sense,
but where would I call?

Oh, and she's... She's
too young for me.

The boy she's dating
tonight is almost 22.

Yeah?

That's why she
wanted to dress older.

Well, uh, now that
I think about it,

There was a certain
maturity about her.

I'll call her. She
should be home by now.

She just lives a few doors down.

You two will have
a lot in common.

She's not awfully brainy,
but she's very literary.

Her family's belonged to the
"book of the month" club for years.

Janie? Oh, this is betty.

Say, are you doing
anything saturday night?

Good. How would
you like to go to a...

Oh, I guess it's a dinner/dance.

The insurance convention.

Oh, I have a wonderful date
for you... Carter mawson.

Mawson... You know, the
boy you met over here.

Oh, he is not!

You just didn't get
a good look at him.

Actually, for a homely
boy, he's very good looking.

Has brains, too.

Well, I would, but, uh...

I have a date for that night.

Oh, I'm sure he's a good dancer.

Carter, are you a good dancer?

Oh, he's a wonderful dancer.

Look, he's flipped over you,

And he's a son of a
friend of father's.

And if you want to
wear that fur tonight...

Okay.

Okay, janie, that's fine.

I'll talk to you later. Bye.

Well, it's all fixed up.

She's just dying to go with you.

Yeah, I could tell she could
hardly wait till saturday.

Well, at least it's
a date you want,

Not one some misguided
parent tried to pawn off on you.

Yeah, that's right.

And you and I won't have
to sit around all evening

With nothing to say.

Yeah. Uh, you, uh,

You got a date for
saturday night, huh?

Mm-hmm.

Well, I probably won't
be seeing ya again.

Actually, it hasn't
been too bad knowing ya.

Maybe... Maybe our paths
will cross again someday...

Briefly.

Who knows.

Who knows.

Well, uh, good-bye.

Good-bye, carter.

So long.

Well, it looks like you
two hit it off pretty well.

Well, I don't know what ever
gave you an idea like that.

I just happened to get stuck with
the big oaf for a couple of hours.

That's all.

But I won't have
to see him again.

What do you mean by that?
What about saturday night?

Well, I can't very well go with
a boy who has another date.

Hmm? He's taking janie.

Janie?

Oh, that's just fine.

Here I planned a
nice family evening...

The mawsons and the andersons...

And now he's
dragging in an outsider.

Well, if you'd had the
decency to consult me

Before you involved me
in this in the first place...

I never thought you'd
let me down this way.

Oh...

That daughter of ours.

She's stubborn
as a missouri mule.

I wonder where she got that.

I wonder.

Are you sure he's not in?

Thank you.

Who was it?

Was just trying to
call carter mawson.

He forgot his letter again.

Of course, I'd hate
to talk to the old oaf,

But I'm sure it's an
important letter.

She sure hates
him. Sure she does.

Bud, that'll be enough.

I'll bet he's at janie's.

Oh, that carter. He
hardly knows janie,

And now he's hanging
around her house like a dog.

Well, that seems logical.

Isn't she the girl of his
free and independent choice?

Well, yes, but he doesn't
need to make a fool of himself.

Oh, I'm glad i...

Hello. Oh, hi.

Oh, hello, carter.

Say, I forgot that
darn letter again.

Oh, you did? I... I
hadn't noticed.

Well, you just
tried to call him...

How would you like to go in the
kitchen and get some lemonade?

You have a few minutes?
Well, no, I can't stay.

I gotta get my suit
pressed for tonight.

Where have you been all day?

Why, i, uh...

I dropped in to see how the
convention was getting along.

I'll bet.

Hi.

Oh, hello, father.

Father, this is carter mawson.

I know carter very well.

How are you, son?

I'm okay, sir. Thank you.

I don't especially look
forward to this evening,

Trying to explain why
betty isn't with us and all.

The worst part of it is she's
eating her heart out to go.

But she took this
stand against me,

And she refuses to
admit she's wrong.

Oh, hello, janie.

Hi, I just came over to show
you the dress I'm wearing tonight.

Like it? Turn around.

It's cute.

Betty, I'll tell you
why I really came over.

You've acted awfully
strange about this date.

Are you sure you aren't just
pawning some goon boy off on me?

All right, I'll tell you.
That's exactly what I'm doing.

Father arranged
this date for me,

And I refused to go
with the big clumsy oaf,

And now he's all yours.

Well, wait a minute. Maybe I'm
going to give him back to you.

Oh, no, you're the one he wants.

You're his choice. His
free, free choice, not me.

He and I have nothing
in common but nothing.

You're the one he's crazy about.

Well, he certainly has
an odd way of showing it.

I haven't seen hide nor hair
of him since you made the date.

He hasn't even
phoned. He hasn't?

I thought the least he'd do
is send me a corsage to wear.

I'm on my way to the
corner florist right now

To buy myself one.

I may be stuck with a hillbilly,

But I don't want
everyone else to know it.

He's not a hillbilly...
He's a big oaf.

Janie, you'd better go
or you're gonna be late.

B-b-but, i... Have
a nice time, janie.

Betty, what's the
matter with you?

Janie just gave you the
very chance you want.

I don't want him.

I wouldn't go with him if he
were the last man on earth,

And it's all your fault!

Margaret! Honey? Margaret: yes?

I think I'll run down to dave's

And get you a flower
to wear tonight.

I'll have one sent to
evelyn mawson, too.

Just any small... Any
kind of a corsage, dave.

Doesn't matter much, actually.

What color dress
are you wearing?

Oh, hello, mr. Anderson.
Hello, dave.

Janie, I wanna talk to you.

Well, I wanna talk to
you, too, mr. Anderson.

Tell me, is this carter
character as gone on betty

As she is on him?

How'd you know
betty was gone on him?

Oh, that's obvious.

I could tell the minute she
started running him down.

Now, if he feels the
same way about her,

A fine time I'm going to have.

Why doesn't she break
down and go with him herself?

She thinks she can't.

You see, I made the date.

Now I'm finding out this
is one of the deadly sins

Committed by fathers. The worst.

I got my daughter a date...

How can I square
things with betty?

She'll hardly speak to me.

Do you think you could get her
a date so she could go along?

Would that be any good?
No, that would be even worse.

I got my daughter a date with this
boy who works in a butcher shop.

What do you advise
me to do, janie?

Nice boy, steady job.

Considering the mess
you've made already,

You'd better let me handle it.

Thank you, janie.

Ms. Little, the corsage.

Oh, no, thank you.

Mr. Anderson's your
customer now, not me.

Bye! Bye.

By george, dave. It's not
easy to admit you're wrong,

But it's obviously
the right thing to do.

So I said to my daughter,

"He's a fine boy, steady job,

Gets meat wholesale."

So she... I know.

She accused you of putting
her on the auction block

And selling her soul.

No! She jumped at the chance,

Married him, he lost his job.

I've been supporting
him ever since.

When will us fathers learn to
keep our nose out of these things?

Probably never, dave.

At least not as long
as we're fathers.

Boy, mommy, you sure
look hot-ziggidy-zoo.

Thank you, kathy.

I never heard it put
more charmingly.

Oh, didn't you intend to send
this over to the hotel to evelyn?

I sent one.

That's for betty.

Uh, betty, there's the doorbell.

I can hear it.

Uh, aren't you
going to answer it?

Carter: hello, anybody home?

Hi.

Oh, why, carter,
what are you doing?

Well, uh,

I went over to
what's-her-name's house,

And she said she came down with a
very sick headache and couldn't go.

Oh, really? Th-that's a shame.

I, uh...

She said that she thought your
date had been called off, too?

She did?

Oh, I mean, yes.

Yes, that's right.

I know it'll be a pretty
boring evening, but...

Looks like we're stuck
with each other after all.

These, uh... These
are secondhand,

But if you don't mind...

Yes. They're not
too bad looking.

Wait right there.

I'll be changed in
half a minute, flat!

Who's this orchid for?

That?

Oh, uh, that's for
you, naturally. For me?

Uh-huh.

Egad, woman, you
look so hot-ziggidy-zoo!
Post Reply