01x12 - The Christmas Story

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Father Knows Best". Aired: October 3, 1954 - May 23, 1960.*
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The series, which began on radio in 1949, follows the lives of the Andersons, a middle-class family living in the town of Springfield.
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01x12 - The Christmas Story

Post by bunniefuu »

Robert Young...

and Jane Wyatt.

With Elinor Donahue,

Billy Gray, and Lauren Chapin...

♪♪

Ohh!

Oh, here, let me do it.

Honey, why don't
we give presents

that just come in
nice square boxes?

Hey, I wouldn't mind

if old Santa slipped something
like this in my stocking.

Who are we giving this to?

Oh, that's for Mr. Kirkland.

Mr. Kirkland?

Oh, honey, we hardly
know Mr. Kirkland.

Oh, I know we don't,

but he gave such wonderful
presents to the children last year.

That's merely a
business gesture.

He turns over a list

of his business
clients to his secretary,

and she buys up
stuff in wholesale lots.

Well, maybe so.

There. How does that look?

Nice.

Honey, we don't know
this many people, do we?

Mm, that's for the Hicksons,

that's for the
Neills, and so forth.

Old friends of ours
who remembered us.

I keep a record of these things.

Oh, honey, I'm not objecting

to remembering
friends at Christmas,

but I don't know.

It seems to be just becoming

a matter of bookkeeping.

It does get kind of
hectic, doesn't it?

Why can't we have Christmas
the way it used to be?

Quiet and simple,

a few friends and the
family sitting around the fire,

the kids hanging their
stockings over the fireplace

and church bells
ringing on Christmas Eve

and carolers singing.

Mother! Mother!

Oh, listen. Oh, hello, Father.

Hi.

Listen, Ralph's stopping by soon

on his way to do his
Christmas shopping.

Will somebody ask
him what time it is

so I can bring up the
subject of wristwatches

so he'll know what to
get me for Christmas?

Betty!

I'm ashamed of you.

Why? I'm only trying to keep him

from wasting his money

on something I don't want.

Betty, I'd like to explain
something to you...

Oh, later, Father.
I've got to call Janie.

But... He might call
her for suggestions

on what to get me.

Betty!

Oh, me.

Don't get upset, darling.

She's just a
normal teenage girl.

But, honey, the whole
idea of Christmas...

♪ ...merry gentlemen ♪

Hey, do you hear that?

♪ Let nothing you dismay ♪

Well, at least someone
has the right spirit.

Come on, I want to see

who shares my
Christmas ideas with me.

♪ Was born on Christmas Day ♪

Isn't that beautiful?

Yes!

Rest ye merry, gentlemen,

in a 1943 two-door sedan!

See it now at Big
Steve's Used Car Lot.

Control yourself, dear.

Hi, Dad!

Pretty good idea, huh?

Listen to this one.
Start it up, Wally.

♪♪

Yes, friends, oh,
what fun it is to ride

in a 1941 Club Coupe

with new seat
covers and overdrive.

Ask today about our
low, low down payment

from your used car
Santa Claus, Big Steve.

Big Steve says

Christmas is the
best time to sell stuff.

Selling stuff is not the
purpose of Christmas,

Big Steve notwithstanding.

Daddy! What is it, Kitten?

Have you bought our
Christmas tree yet?

No, not yet, honey.

Good, because I
saw a real peachy one.

It's purple!

Purple?

A purple Christmas tree?

Oh... Father, don't
get a purple one.

Get pink. They're much prettier.

Didn't you kids ever
hear of a green tree?

Oh, they're so plain.

They look just like trees.

What's a Christmas tree
supposed to look like?

I swear I don't know
what's happened to you kids.

Have you forgotten the
meaning of Christmas?

Have you forgotten everything

you learned in Sunday school?

I'd better call
you later, Janie.

I remember when I was a boy,

we used to enjoy Christmas

in a nice quiet way

without all this folderol.

My dad used to take
me up in the hills,

and we'd cut down
our own Christmas tree.

What do you want us to do,

grab an ax and go
charging into the mountains?

Well, no, we don't
have to do that,

but it seems to... Wait
a minute. Why not?

Huh?

Why not? There's
some fine spruce trees

up on Old Pine Mountain.

We could be back
in a couple of hours.

It might be a good start

toward learning what
Christmas really means.

Dear, how much
farther do we have to go

to find this tree?

You know, we...
We have to get back

in time to deliver
all those presents

I have in the back of the car.

And I've got to get back in time

to dress for the
big party tonight.

We'll be back in time.

The paper said it
was going to snow.

I think we'll find
some good trees

just around this next bend.

The paper said... I heard you.

Dear, if it is going to snow,

don't you think we'd
better turn back?

There's not a cloud in the sky.

Gee, Daddy, how much farther?

Oh, I'm sure we'll
find some good trees,

uh, just around this next bend.

Oh, Father, we can't
even find the next bend

the way the snow's coming down.

Yes, dear. Don't you think
we ought to turn around?

Oh, for heaven's sake,
what's a little snow?

Just makes it seem
more like Christmas.

See how beautiful
everything looks?

Oh, sure.

Look at the size of that drift.

Where?

You found it.

We're stuck.

Ah, there's nothing finer

than a simple
old-fashioned Christmas.

That's just what we need... ice.

Sounds awfully
deserted in there.

Isn't there any other place

that we can get help?

I can see a telephone
in there. Where?

A lot of good a phone will do

if we can't get to it.

We've got to get
a tow car out here,

even if we have to break in.

Will we get arrested, Daddy?

I can't imagine anybody
would be fool enough

to come out in weather
like this to arrest anyone.

We've got to get back.

If I don't get to the
Christmas party, I'll die.

Well, don't do it out here.

Wait till you get inside
where it's warmer.

I had to give up a
buck an hour for this.

We'll be out of here soon.

After all, it isn't
the North Pole.

It could be worse.

Yeah, we could be
here in bathing suits.

If you call Big Steve,
he's got a tow truck.

Deader than a doornail.

Gosh, you mean we're stuck here?

We can't be. We can't stay here.

This is Christmas Eve.

I know it is, Princess,
and I'm sorry.

I had no idea it was
going to turn out like this.

Hey, Daddy, there's
somebody living here!

What?

See? See that?

Well, there's still
some coffee in the cup.

Guess it could have
been there several days.

Well, this oatmeal looks
freshly cooked, I'd say.

Yeah?

We, uh, didn't
mean to startle you.

Uh, sorry to barge
in on you like this,

but you see, we're stranded. Oh?

Yes, our car's
stuck in the snow.

We were just trying
to get to a telephone.

Uh-huh, and your car's stuck.

That's right.

Well, sir, you're
mighty welcome.

Yes, sir, hate to see anybody

having any bad trouble,

but nice to have company
on Christmas Eve.

Uh, how'd you folks get in?

We took a couple of
boards off the front window,

but we'll put them back.

Oh, that's all right. It's okay.

I'm sorry that the
phone went dead,

but she's shut down
for the winter. I...

Well, hello, little one.

Bashful. Yeah.

Well, I reckon I'd
better fix you folks a fire.

Looks like you all
got ice in your bones.

Oh, uh, oh, just a minute.

Do you happen to have a truck

that can pull our car out,

or know someone who has one?

No, ma'am, I don't.

Won't do no good anyways.

Drifts might' stout
out there tonight.

Oh, we've got to get home,

or we won't have any Christmas.

No?

Well, now, did you
ever think of this?

It's Christmas up here, too.

Jim, what are we going to do?

All the children's
presents are at home.

There... There must be some way

to get out of here.

A man's got to know
how to build a fire, son.

That's basic.

Do you go camping a lot

and cook over an
open fire and all that?

If you're ever up in
these parts again, son,

I'll show you how to
find a whole dinner

right in the woods.

Have you ever smelled the aroma

of wild onions stuffed
inside a brook trout

simmering over an open fire?

You ever tasted watercress
fresh from the stream?

Not your wilted
store-bought watercress, sir,

but so fresh it snaps
sweet in your mouth.

What's your name, son?

Bud, sir.

Bud-sir.

Good straightforward name, sir.

What's yours?

Mine? Mine's Nick.

Or it's Old Nick, or
it's That Old Man.

A name's a label,

but the label isn't the
important thing, son.

It's what's inside the
package that counts.

Look, sir, are you sure
there isn't some way

we could get a message
down to Springfield?

Isn't there a ranger
station around here?

No! No.

No, I'll tell you what.

I think what you all
need is some food.

There's a lot of groceries
over there doing nothing.

I think we can find enough food

to keep body and
soul together tonight,

and for our big Christmas
dinner tomorrow...

Tomorrow?

Oh, don't look so
worried, little missy.

I'll try to make you as
comfortable as I can.

And in the morning,

Bud and me will go out
and sh**t a big fat honker,

and I'll cook you the
finest wild goose dinner

you ever set them
pretty little teeth in before.

With wild onion and watercress.

That's very nice of you, sir,

but we have to get
back to Springfield

tomorrow morning some way.

Besides, we can't put
you to all this bother.

Bother? Since when
are friends a bother?

Especial' on Christmas Eve?

A fine Christmas Eve this is,

with old Nick.

Boy, he sure
knows a lot of stuff.

Why can't he figure out a
way to get us back to town?

Come and get it, kids.

What we got ain't
fancy, but she's on.

Go right in, Miss Betty.

You like that, son?

Boy, I'll say.

Well, hurry up, little one.

'Cause vittles
are on, and they...

Here, what's this,
tears on Christmas Eve?

But that's just it.

It's Christmas Eve,

but Santy will never
find us up here.

Ohh.

That's how much
you know about Santy.

I found out he knows
exactly where you are.

How'd you find out?

Oh, that's secret
stuff, but he'll be here.

He might have a bit harder time

finding the house
among these big trees,

but he'll find it.

Come on. Let's go and
have something to eat.

But... even if he does find us,

we won't have any
Christmas tree for him,

or any carrots
for his reindeers.

Whoa, whoa. Hold on.

Do you know what's
gonna happen here tonight?

A big, beautiful Christmas tree

is going to grow up
right through the floor,

about... right over there.

Honest?

Honest injun.

Scout's honor.

Are you a Boy Scout, too?

Tonight, Kathy, I'm everybody.

Huh?

I'm a man, I'm a little boy,

I'm a father, I'm an uncle,

I'm a friend and a stranger.

And I'm rich because
you're my friend.

And because I own tonight.

Now, when you get
it all wrapped up...

you put it here.

There.

That'll just keep you
as warm as toast.

See?

By the way, Nick,

how long have you
owned this place?

This place?

Well, if you throw
in the streams

and the hills and the trees,

a very long time, sir.

Ever since God made them.

Better sleep fast, little one.

Soon it'll be Christmas.

Daddy.

Hmm?

I want to give Nick
a Christmas present.

Would you like Butch?

Take it, Nick. She'd
like you to have it.

I wish we could get home.

I wish we'd never met Nick.

Betty. Now, Nick didn't
ask us to come up here,

and he's certainly
trying to be nice.

I wish I could figure him out.

Sometimes he seems, uh...

When you ask him a
direct question, he...

What's that?

Why, that's beautiful!

How do you like her, Dad?

Now, that's the kind of a
tree I was talking about.

At least Kathy will have a tree.

Oh, I wish we had
some decorations for it.

Nick, do you have any
magazines we can cut up

or corn to pop? Sure.

We'll make our decorations
the way we used to.

Hey, I know where there are
some holly berries. Nick showed me.

That's the Christmas
spirit, Bud...

The real old-fashioned kind.

Well, there it is.
What do you think?

Sure is something.

It certainly is different,

but it looks a little
bare underneath.

Kathy will love it, Nick.

And she can get her presents
when we get back home.

Presents?

Mother, those presents
you put in the car to deliver?

Mr. Kirkland will never miss it.

Come on, Bud. Get your coat on.

We're going back to the car.

Nick taught me how to
walk Indian file in the snow.

Ah, it does my heart good

to see the kids being
such good sports

after the way I messed
up their Christmas.

I believe we have some
pretty good kids there.

I'm sure of it.

Jim, are you and the missus

any good at wrapping presents?

Oh, now, wait a minute,
Nick. You mustn't do this.

You've done too
much for us already.

Ah, don't spoil my fun.

Here, you take these things

and do what you can with them.

I ain't got no fancy
wrapping paper,

but do the best you can.

Hello, Nick.

Uh, hiya, Les.

Merry Christmas to you.

Come on in. Meet my
friends the Andersons.

This is Les Turner.

He's the ranger
around these parts.

How do you do?

Merry Christmas to you, Les.

We got kind of stranded up here,

but old Nick took us in
and fed us and warmed us,

and now he's making a
merry Christmas for us.

Yes, I, uh, see.

Nick, could I, uh,
talk to you a minute?

Uh, sure, Les, sure.

But I know what you want.

You want me to go with
you and check the deer herd.

Ain't that right, Les?

Yeah. That's right.

Are there deer around here?

Well, there are tonight, ma'am.

You see, the snow's
bringing them down

out of the mountain for food,

and we've got to
see that they find it.

Yeah. Les is the boy to do it.

He can tell you what the
size of the deer herd is,

what condition they're
in, where they're feeding.

Why, they think he's
practically one of them.

Ha! Yeah, oh, Les
is the best ranger

they ever had up in these parts.

Yes, siree, sir.

Uh, I'll get my
things together, Les,

and I'll be right with you.

Nick's a wonderful person.

He's been wonderful to us.

Yeah, Nick is quite a guy.

Uh, Les, who is,
uh, Dan Crowley?

Crowley? He...

Well, he's the fellow
that owns this lodge.

That's about what I figured.

But I thought that Nick was...

Just, uh, how does Nick fit in?

Well, to be honest, he doesn't.

Nick's a great old guy.

He knows more about
these hills than any man alive,

but he sort of insists

on living his life
by his own rules.

I knew he was holed up
somewhere for the winter,

but, well, I probably
would have never found him

if it hadn't been for the
smoke from the chimney

and the light.

I... I can't believe it.

How... How did you find
out about Mr. Crowley?

Well, Nick made a record
of everything he took:

the food we ate, these
presents, everything.

"Owed to Dan
Crowley, signed Nick."

When Nick signs
his name to anything,

he figures that makes it honest,

even though he knows
he can never pay it.

Well, what else
have you got Nick for?

Trespassing, breaking in.

We're the ones who broke in.

We took the boards
off the window.

Look, put the charge on us.

We'll make everything good.

Well, I... And whatever you do,

don't let Nick
know that we know.

We'd like him to still
think he's our host.

He might have a bit harder time

finding the house
among these big trees,

but he'll find it.

Mommy! Daddy!

Nick! Wait, Nick!

You can't run out on
your guests like this.

My guests?

You friends can't very
well have a Christmas party

without their host.

Thanks, Les.

How come a smart
old coot like you

gave himself away?

You knew that
smoke in the chimney

would lead me right to you.

Yeah, sure.

But you got to take chances

when you're lonely.

You lonely?

Being alone ain't what
makes a man lonesome.

There are just times
when a man needs more.

You take, like...
Like Christmas Eve.

And I saw his reindeers, too!

Prancer and Blitzen
and Donder and Blister...

All of them! Honest
I did, Mommy!

Oh, I'm sure you did, dear.

They were right
out in back, and...

Oh, Nick, guess what!

Oh, Nick, I saw him!

He found us, just like you said!

You saw him? Where?

Right out there.

I looked through the window,

and there he was.

He had his big toy
bag over his shoulder,

and his reindeers and his sled.

Didn't I, Mommy?

Well, natural.

And look.

A tree did grow there.

Well, what do you
know about that?

And look at all the decorations.

I never saw
anything like it before.

Oh, Daddy, I feel kind
of all shivery inside.

That's all right, baby.

You know something?

So do I.

Merry Christmas, Kathy.
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