..
Hey there, murphy.
Hi, phil.
Guys, listen. I'm glad I caught you.
I just heard an ugly rumor.
Corky's having a new year's eve party.
And she's on her way over to invite us.
Now, I didn't have much time,
but I worked up a few excuses.
Jim, doris is sick with the flu.
Fever, chills, projectile vomiting.
Needless to say,
you're stuck at home.
Frank, the girl you've been
dating recently has put
on a lot of weight
She's embarrassed about it and
doesn't want to be seen out in public.
So you're staying in.
Miles...
Murphy, we know already about
the party, and we're going.
What? Come on. You're going to a
new year's eve party at corky's?
I'll think about you at midnight
When you roll back the carpet
and square dance
Hey, now. I'll admit I wasn't very
fond of corky when I first met her.
I never dreamed I'd be
sharing an anchor desk
With a woman who says
grace before a broadcast.
But she has grown a little
during the year,
And as a gesture of support,
I thought I should accept her invitation.
And besides, it's not possible for a
new year's eve party to be dull
if you're there, murph.
Remember the washington
press corps bash,
When you stood up on a table and sang
"if I were your woman" to wilbur mills?
And what about the time
you drove over to the
white house christmas tree
And hung your bra on the angel?
Guys, guys,
you're forgetting something.
On both those occasions and
on almost every new year's eve
of my adult life
I've watched the new year come in from
the bottom of a scotch bottle.
Sure I was always the life of the party
I'll bet people are still talking
about the time I mooned jean kirkpatrick.
But I thought it would be nice
if I lived through my forties.
So no more party doll.
Hi everybody.
Murphy, there you are.
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
You're the only person I haven't
invited to my new year's eve party
New year's eve party?
I didn't know you were having
a new year's eve party.
Well, it's kind of a spur of the moment thing.
But it'll be lots of fun.
I'm cooking all the food myself.
And at the end of the night,
we're going to watch heidi on tape.
Gee, corky, it sounds like fun
But I don't think I'll be able to make it.
The guy I've been dating has put on
really a lot of weight and
He's embarrassed about it and
doesn't want to be seen out in public.
That is just about the most ridiculous
excuse I have heard today.
Every single person I invited is coming,
except for you and meryl streep.
Because she said
she had no idea who I was.
I guess I can accept that.
Can I just be straight with you guys.
New year's eve is amateur night.
Once a year people go out, drink
too much, put lamp shades on
their heads, and pass out.
The pros like me
We didn't need new year's eve as an excuse.
But now that I've retired my jersey
I just don't want to take any chances.
What are you saying, murphy?
That you can't have a good time on
new year's eve if you don't drink?
That's ridiculous.
He's right, murph.
And maybe it's better for you to face
the situation instead of trying to
hide from it.
Look, I'll make it even easier.
We'll go together.
I'll take you. I'll pick you up
and bring you home. No date
anxiety, no pressure. Huh?
Come on, murphy. We're your friends.
No one's going to be expecting you
To drive to maureen dean's house at
midnight drop a sack of horse manure
on her front door,
Set it ablaze, ring the bell
and yell "fire!"
I really would like to spend
new year's eve with you guys.
Come on. It'll be fun!
What do you say?
Okay, I guess I'll go.
Yes!
I know what you're thinking.
It looks like a funeral but
This is good.
People are clearly pacing themselves.
Frank, everyone I know from
the office is here.
We don't have to stay for
the whole thing, do we?
Can't we just have something
to eat and then go.
Murph, it's going to be okay.
You're just another guest and
nobody's putting any pressure
on you to perform.
Hey, murphy's here. Let the games begin!
(Cheering)
ignore it. Ignore it.
Hey, murphy,
frank, there you are.
Wonderful dress, murphy.
Perfect choice for that
short waisted problem.
Have you met my date yet?
Noel? Noel?
Dr. Noel gardner,
Meet murphy brown
and frank fontana.
Noel is with bethesda naval hospital
but he's opening his own practice.
That's right. Full service medicine.
Dermatology to cardiology.
Ten doctors, no waiting.
And there's validated parking.
Here's my card. Don't be afraid
to just come on it and chat.
Maybe get a physical.
Frank, take a look at that mole for you.
Murphy, when was your last mammogram?
Been putting it off, huh?
Not a good idea. Call me.
Your friends are great.
We'll see you guys later, okay?
So, what can I get you both to drink?
Club soda for me
on the rocks with a twist.
I'll take a beer.
Oh, sorry frank, but I'm not
serving any alcoholic
beverages tonight.
You know a lot of people
have been asking about that.
I guess I should explain.
Everyone, can I have your attention please.
Now, a lot of you have been asking
when the liquor will be served this evening.
Well, we're not having any tonight
Because I decided to make it a dry party.
I did it for murphy!
We all know she's a drunk.
And I didn't want to put any
temptation in her way.
So go on and party knowing
that you've done something
to help your co-worker.
Meryl streep's probably having
a lot of fun right now.
Hello. Hello.
Jim, doris, welcome.
Look at you two
In black tie.
Yes, well new year's eve has always
been a special date for us.
We met on new year's eve .
The world was fraught with change.
U thant became the interim
secretary general of the united nations
Following dag hammarskjold's death.
American and soviet tanks faced off
across eastern and western europe.
In a dispute over border transit rights.
And a little chimp named enos
blasted off from cape canaveral
And orbited the earth. Twice.
Gee.
Well, your place certainly looks very
festive and here's a little gift for you.
Oh, thank you so much.
It was such a lovely gesture.
But I'm not serving any alcohol tonight.
You know, the murphy problem.
So I'll just do the
same thing with this
That I did with all the other
bottles people brought
I'll give it to the party next door.
Here you go.
Come on, audrey.
Would you hurry up.
I'm going as fast as I can.
You just called and
invited me minutes ago.
You know, I'm beginning to think
I wasn't first choice.
- Oh, come on, audrey.
You think the executive producer
Of a big network news show
couldn't get a date until the last minute.
I scoff.
Now, let's just get past this.
I've been under a lot of stress
at work this year.
So for once, I want to let loose
and enjoy myself. Let's go in.
Not until you tell me why we haven't
been out since that one blind date
months ago.
I'm sorry
It's just that that date was so...
Powerful. I needed time to absorb it.
By the way, no one has to know that
this is only our second date.
You think you can, you know...
Oh-- okay.
Wow. This party's really rockin'.
I guess you were right about
getting here early.
That's not our party.
This is our party.
There you are, miles.
It's : . I was worried you were
going to miss all the fun.
Are you kidding?
I've got a serious party attitude.
Corky sherwood, this is audrey cohen.
Nice to meet you.
Audrey cohen?
I don't remember miles ever
mentioning you before.
Yeah, well...
Miles and I are both
very private people.
Even though we've been seeing each
other steadily since
The princess of wales
introduced us at wimbledon last year.
Gee...
Anyway, we both felt the need to
protect the relationship.
But tonight we decided it was time
to let everyone know how we feel
about each other.
Right, pooky?
Hey, would you look at that punch?
I think I'll just have me a cup of that.
Yes, sirree.
I love punch with all my heart.
What did you do, corky?
Unload a whole bottle
of rum in here?
Miles, there isn't any...
Hey, audrey,
Heads up. Looks like you're driving tonight.
Party, party, party down.
It's something to do.
♪♪ I'm so excited. ♪♪
♪♪ And I just can't hide
it ♪♪
♪♪ I'm about to lose control ♪♪
♪♪ And I think I like it ♪♪
♪♪ Da, da, da ♪♪
♪♪ Excited... ♪♪
So... Corkster!
Corko!
Corkstein!
O'cork!
k*ller party!
I'm sorry about this
But for as long
as I've known him
He's never been able to hold it.
It's been very painful for us.
Hey now, audrey.
Hey now. Hey now. Hey!
Miles,
what is wrong with you?
I'm sorry, corky, I think I had a little
too much punch.
That stuff is lethal.
Please, can I be
the one to tell him?
I've been good. Please!
I think it's time.
Go ahead.
Miles...
Murphy.
There's nothing in the punch.
What? What do you mean?
You've been acting like
carmen miranda all by yourself.
The only thing you're high on
is % real fruit juice.
I knew that.
You don't think
I know that?
I was just trying to
illustrate the dangers
Of excessive alcohol consumption
So... Let that be a lesson
to all of you.
Thank you.
Hey, where's everybody going?
The party's just getting started.
Well, okay for them.
They're going to be sorry
they missed this.
Everybody...
It's time for party games!
I'm not wearing a blind fold.
I hate that.
Now,this is a fun little quiz
that noel brought.
It's called "how long will you live?"
You start with years
And you add or subtract based
on your answers to questions.
Like question # ...
.
.
.
.
Years old?
Are they kidding?
This can't be right.
What did you get, murphy?
Carry the one, six, seven, yes!
!
Read it and weep.
? How did you get ?
She cheated. That's how.
Look at this.
She skipped question .
She lied on question .
Why'd you stop at , murphy?
Why didn't you just say ? Or ?
Watch that blood pressure, frank.
It'll k*ll you like that.
Hey everybody, one minute to midnight!
Frank, turn on the tv.
I'll get the hats and horns.
Sure, no problem. When the
clock hits midnight I'll be
another year closer to death.
Let's all dance and sing.
Okay, everybody, pass them around.
I'm years old and what have
I got to show for it?
Nothing. I've wasted the
best years of my life.
I can't even remember what I
did last tuesday.
Countdown's starting, everyone.
Put on your hats!
I don't even have a dog.
They're starting the countdown, everyone!
Here we go.
All: five,four, three, two, one...
Happy new year!
(Crowd on tv singing
"auld lang syne")
I guess that just about wraps it up?
Another day, another decade.
Corky, it's been fun.
Frank, ready to go?
We should be going, too.
Great party.
Wait a minute.
We haven't said
our resolutions yet.
I'm wearing gloves, frank.
I could choke her now and
not leave any fingerprints.
Night, everybody.
Bye.
Night, guys.
(Loud party noises
from across hall)
You know this
is really sad?
You guys said we could pull off
a good time on new year's eve
Without any booze. And here
we are going home at midnight.
What do you say we do something crazy.
We'll put our heads together.
I know with this group
We'll come up
with something great.
I don't know, murphy.
I think we're going
to call it a night.
Yeah, okay.
Bye.
Frank, I forgot my purse in the
bedroom. Would you do me a favor
and go and get it?
Sure.
Well, corky,
thank you for having us.
It was a lovely evening.
Yes. We had a wonderful time.
Thank you for inviting us, corky.
Maybe next year you'll
come to our place.
Oh, audrey, audrey...
Thanks for dropping in, everybody.
Drive carefully. Don't forget your
yearly cholesterol test.
Where's your coat, noel?
Coat? I'm not leaving.
That's what you think.
Hey corky, get serious. You know
how hard it is to get a doctor
on new year's eve?
Socialized medicine, noel.
It's coming. It's coming very soon.
Hey, frank!
Noel! Stop them!
I don't...
(Screaming)
Not in the house!
Whoo!
(Screeches)
You devil!
Stop that, stop that.
Eldin, it's the new year.
Let's do something wild.
Yeah, okay.
Just one minute.
You know, you haven't been paying any
attention to me lately.
Don't think I haven't noticed.
There's somebody else, isn't there?
Somebody else? Don't be absurd.
I'll get you for that, frank!
Hi, what are you guys doing here?
That's what I'd like to know.
Seems like he's always here.
That's because he is always here.
And you like it, don't you?
Felicia. Felicia, do not be so needy.
Why don't you put your coat on.
We'll go bowl a few lanes.
You mean it?
Sure, I mean it.
You can use that new ball bag
I bought you for christmas.
I'll bet he never
bought you a ball bag.
No. But a girl can dream, can't she?
Okay. It looks like we're
out of here.
How was the party?
Did you do okay?
Fine, thanks, eldin.
Did a certain somebody say
anything about me?
Corky?
What do have to scream it?
Oh, come on.
Who's corky?
It's going to be a bad night.
A very bad night.
Good night, eldin.
I just came back because...
I forgot to put my brushes in
turpentine. It's very bad for them.
It's okay, eldin.
I dumped it.
Peace.
All right.
All right, I'm coming!