02x16 - Brian and Sylvia

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ You take the good
You take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growing
Now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪♪

- I thought you had 'em!
- I thought you had 'em!

They couldn't have
just walked away.

You know, it's gonna be pretty tough
gettin' to Buffalo without bus tickets...

unless you plan to travel
piggyback on Superman.

I don't understand why you
didn't just hire a private limousine.

Because we're cash poor at the moment.
All our money's tied up in survival.

I found 'em!

Thank goodness. Come on.
We'd better get to the depot.

Hey, Tootie, do you think your aunt will
take you to the TV studio where she works?

I hope so. I'm dying to see
Aunt Sylvia anchor the : news.

I'm dying to see Uncle Brian.

Why? 'Cause he once
played hockey in the Olympics?

No. Because of what he does now.

Coaching a boys hockey team.

Muscles on ice.

Come on, girls. Let's go.

All right. Bye, Jo. Bye, Blair.

Blair! Jo!

Tootie! Natalie!

Come on!

Okay, I'm coming!
[Blair] See ya later.

Okay.

Brian? Brian?

Sylvia! Mmm!

Nummers!

One of your kids
break another stick?

Yeah, yeah. These things don't hold
up too well when they hit a hard surface.

- The ice?
- No, another kid.

I thought the whole idea of this team
was to keep the kids out of trouble.

Well, we're making
some progress.

Same amount of broken
noses, but this time...

we actually had
two "I'm sorrys"...

and one "Excuse me!"

You never run out
of patience, do you?

Well, up until now. What
do you got in the bag?

Ah! Surprise!

Planning to launch a ship? No.

We're going to celebrate.

Celebrate what?

We're celebrating
for three reasons.

One: I love you.
I really love you.

What's not to love?

And second: In exactly
one month and four days,

it will be our first
wedding anniversary.

No kidding? That means we've
been living together two years.

Brian!

Are you blushing?

I swear, it's hard
to tell with you.

Watch it, paleface.

Got ya. You know, if somebody
had told me a few years back...

that I'd end up married
to this foxy lady,

I would have told 'em
they were absolutely crazy.

I wasn't looking for the
"Great White Hope" either. Ooh!

[Cork Hits Floor]

Kind of sounds like my parents
when I first told them about us.

Now, you said we had three reasons to
be celebrating. What's the third reason?

This one's a biggie. I just...

[Doorbell Rings]
heard the doorbell.

I'll get it.

It must be Tootie
and her friend.

Mom!

Son!

Oh, yes.

I just happened to be in the neighborhood.
I thought I'd pop by and say hello.

Champagne in the
afternoon? Oh, of course.

In exactly one month and four days,
it'll be your first wedding anniversary.

You two keep in
close touch, don't you?

What a wedding that was.

I can still remember the both
of you walking down the aisle.

Well, you should. You were
blocking the way with a picket sign.

Come on. You know how
it was. It is a bit of a shock...

when you're expecting Billy Dee, and
you end up with a vanilla hockey puck.

You just blew your
Mother's Day present.

But I've gotten used
to you. It's like, uh,

skipping ham hocks now and then and trying
a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich.

Okay, here's to you. You're...

You're... You're okay.

I'll drink to that. Skoal.

Mmm! Good.

Mom, Sylvia tells me she has
some big news to announce.

Uh, right. Big news.

Brian, Mom, I just...
[Phone Ringing]

You get the feeling this party's
never gonna get off the ground?

Hello? Oh, hi, Dad.

Yes, just a minute.

Your father.

I'll take it in the bedroom.

I wonder what the exalted
grand dragon wants.

It's always the
same conversation.

"How are you, son, and have
you left her yet?" It figures.

[Brian] I got it!

I don't suppose you'd
like to talk about the

big news before Brian
gets back, would you?

I can tell you.

I got a call this morning
from Fred Scott. Mm-hmm.

He runs channel
in New York City.

There's an opening for a
news reporter on the : news,

and he's offered me the job! Oh!

Honey! Oh, that's exciting!

Oh, God, I'm so proud of you!
I've been telling all my friends,

"Just watch my daughter.
She's going to be a star."

Naturally. Look
who her mother is.

That's really good.

There's just one
little hitch though.

- Uh-oh.
- It's Brian.

You know how much his work
at the youth center means to him.

Yeah. Oh.

And if you move to New
York, he'd have to go too.

I just hope Brian
goes along with it.

A job on a station
in New York City.

It's the foot in the door
I've been dreaming of.

You're movin' on up, girl.

I just hope that after you
take New York by storm,

you won't forget
who your mother was.

I was hoping you'd
come to New York too.

No, no, I wouldn't want to
interfere with your new life.

I insist. Honey, I'll
be packed and ready.

It'll be so great to
get back there again.

I love New York. I
met your father there.

- And you dumped him there.
- That's why I love New York.

What'd I miss?
What'd I miss? Nothing.

Everything all right with
your folks? Fine, fine.

They both send you
their love. You too, Mom.

I find that hard to believe.

Dad found it hard to say.

Well, I think I've got to run.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
We're right in the middle of a toast.

Um, Syl's already
told me the big news.

You're gonna flip.

I just wanna say you two
have a great thing going here.

And if, by chance, you ever
happen to have a little argument,

just remember this:

Never go to bed
mad. Just go to bed.

Mom's just crazy about you.

Mom's just crazy.

Now, come on. What
about this big news?

[Sighs] The big news.

You ready?

Ready. Okay.

I have a chance of
getting off the : news...

and doing the : news.

Honey, fantastic!
The plum assignment!

I'm so happy for
you! All right! Yeah.

- The : news is the one
I've been sh**ting for.
- And now you got it.

I have to call back and say
whether I'm accepting it or not.

You mean you
haven't said yes yet?

I was waitin' to
talk to you first.

Syl, that is silly. Now, you call
them back right now, this minute.

Come on. Right.

There's one little
problem though. Call! Call!

The job is in New York
City. Hang up that phone!

New York City?

How the hell did New York
get into this all of a sudden?

That's where the
offer came from.

Fred Scott, channel
. Isn't it wonderful?

Yeah, like the last time I went
to the dentist for a root canal.

Was the champagne
supposed to be novocaine?

I was trying to be nice.

Nice. Real nice!

Brian, what are you
getting so upset about?

Because I'm upset,
that's why! Do you mind?

[Arguing, Indistinct] I don't
think we came at the best time.

Sounds like a fight. Maybe
it's just a loud conversation.

You know, I'll bet you
instigated this whole thing.

I didn't! But what if I did?

You're right. It's a
fight. Ring the bell.

Maybe they're ready
for an intermission.

I don't get it. I
just don't get it!

I can't talk to you
when you're yelling.

You think I'm yelling? You wanna
hear yelling? I'll give you yelling!

[Doorbell Rings] Who is it?

It's Tootie. And friend.

Shh.

Tootie! Aunt Sylvia! Hi!

Oh! Oh.

Aunt Sylvia, this is my
friend Natalie. Hi, Natalie.

Hi, Aunt Sylvia. Come on in.

Hi, Uncle Brian. Hi,
honey. How are you?

[Tootie] Okay.

Uncle Brian, this is my friend
Natalie. Natalie, Uncle Brian.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you too.

Tootie's told me so much
about you. But not everything.

We're so glad you girls
could make it this weekend.

Come on. Let me
show you to your room.

[Forced Chuckle]

Hey, this is great. Just like
our room at school, but nice.

Aunt Sylvia, is everything all right?
I mean, with you and Uncle Brian?

Of course. What gives you the
impression something's wrong?

Little things, like you screaming
bloody m*rder at each other.

You'll have to excuse Tootie. She has this
nasty habit of always telling the truth.

Just husband-and-wife stuff.
Nothing that should concern you kids.

How would you girls like to
come down to my TV studio?

Are you kidding? Why do you think
we're so excited about being here?

Other than seeing you.

I've never been to
a TV studio before.

I'm dying to see what
a laugh track looks like.

Oh, and Brian's going
to be on my newscast.

It's part of a series
I'm running this week...

on Buffalo's "Talking
Proud" campaign.

- Great!
- Now, don't get
too comfortable.

We'll be leaving in
exactly minutes.

Okay.

Tootie, why didn't you
tell me? Tell you what?

That it was a mixed marriage.
What do you mean, a mixed marriage?

He's not Jewish.

Come on. You know what I mean.

Well, it never occurred
to me to mention it.

Brian's one of the family, so we don't
even think about it. Are you shocked?

Shocked? Are you kidding?

I'm a very progressive,
liberal-minded, today person.

Yeah, I'm shocked!

We were too when they
first started going together.

But the main thing is that they love
each other. I mean, really deep love.

[Sylvia] You're being
absolutely unreasonable!

I'm being unreasonable?

You're being ridiculous!

Why is what I want ridiculous?

[Brian] Because
it's unreasonable.

[Sylvia] That doesn't
make any sense.

Gee, they really sound
mad at each other.

Don't worry. That's the way all
married couples sound when they fight.

Yeah, just before they break up.

Honey, I just can't understand why
you'd wanna make a move, make a change.

You are a celebrity
in this town.

People point at you on
the street and they say,

"Why, there's Sylvia Parker,
the channel anchorlady.

Gee, she's even
prettier in real life."

You know somethin'?
They're right.

Oh, Brian. [Sighs]

What am I going to do with you?

Tell me I'm
prettier in real life.

Honey, you're doing great
here. What more do you want?

I want it all. I want
the brass ring.

I want the giant jackpot.

I want Jane Pauley's job!

Why don't you knock off
Barbara Walters while you're at it?

Boy, you are one ambitious lady.

Do you feel threatened? No.

I don't know.
Yeah. That's silly.

Look, this move could be an
incredible opportunity for you too.

You wanna work with
juvenile delinquents?

New York City is famous
for its juvenile delinquents.

Yes, I know that. But
New York just isn't for me.

Give me one good reason why.

Well, I don't think I
could live in a city...

where people walk
when it says, "Don't Walk."

Come on, Brian.

Honey, look. I know what
moving to New York means to you.

But think about what staying
in Buffalo means to me.

I mean, I grew up here.
I owe this town a lot.

They sponsored me
all the way through the

Olympics. I wanna give
something back to them.

They've stuck by me all the way.

What about me?

I stuck by you through
school, through training.

Why can't you give me the same
support I gave you? Ah, ah, ah, ah!

That is not fair. I've always
been your biggest booster.

Brian, I'm ready for more now.

I know. I know. The lady who
wants to stick it to Jane Pauley.

This is a chance to move on
to something bigger and better.

Why does "bigger" always
have to mean "better"?

Brian, can't you see? For
me, this is my Olympics.

Honey, I understand that.

But my work with the kids is just starting
to take off. I can't let them down.

Are you saying that if I go to
New York, you won't come with me?

I'm saying... I'm saying...

There's nothing more to say.

Aunt Sylvia, isn't it
time to go to the studio?

It's way past minutes.

If you're not careful, you'll
end up doing the : news.

- Hi, Aunt Sylvia.
- Hi. Enjoying yourselves?

It's so exciting. We just saw
a game show being done.

What I loved was the
countdown to go on the air.

"In five, four, three, two"...

- What a fun job.
- We'll be going on the air
pretty soon.

Why don't you girls go up to the
control booth? That's the best spot.

Great. I can't wait to see
Uncle Brian on your show.

Yeah.

Hi, Ray. How are you?

How am I? You're
leaving my station.

How do you think I am after you
plunged this knife into my back?

Ray! Would you
take it out, please?

People think it's a clothes hook
and keep hanging their coats on it.

I'm sorry, Ray. I was
going to tell you...

It's also causing
internal bleeding.

In case I faint and need
a transfusion, I'm type "A."

It's nothing definite yet, Ray.

I just can't believe you didn't have
the decency to tell me about it first.

I mean, I had to hear about
it from a parking attendant.

I'm sorry you had to hear
about it from someone else.

You know, I used to be in
the wholesale egg business.

We used to candle each
egg to sort out the bad ones.

If we could only
candle human beings.

Okay, Sylvia, we're
on in two minutes.

Ray, it's nothing
personal, believe me.

Places, Sylvia. Okay.

I have to go, Ray.
Go, go. Do the news.

"Local anchorwoman
assassinates station manager.

Film at : ."

How ya doin', Ray?

Right now I should be suffering from
depression. But I'm too depressed.

Nice talkin' to you, Ray.

Hi.

Look, Brian... Come on, Sylvia.

You're on. We'll get to your
interview in about minutes.

Okay, everybody. Here we go.

Stand by.

In five, four, three,
two... ♪♪ [Theme]

[Man Announcing] It's the
: news with Sylvia Parker,

Danny Robinson with sports,
and Larry Baker with the weather.

And now, here's Sylvia Parker.

Good evening. At the
top of the news tonight...

is a report released by the
city administrative officer...

Tonight, we've been checking
into the Buffalo Youth Center,

and with us is its
director Brian Parker,

who also happens
to be my husband.

As many of you
remember, Brian was on...

the U.S.
Olympic hockey team.

Brian. You don't
mind if I call you Brian?

No. All my friends
and wives call me that.

Brian, can you tell us a little
bit about the youth center?

Well, we offer youth counseling,

job training and
sports programs.

As a former hockey player, I
guess that's where you come in.

Yeah. Yeah, I've been able to get
the kids off the streets and onto the ice.

I can see you're very
proud of your work.

Oh, I am.

And I'm sure whoever takes
my place will do a great job.

Uh, I don't understand
what you're talking about.

I'm moving to New York.

New York? Yeah.

You know, the place where people
walk when it says, "Don't Walk."

What about all those
kids who depend on you?

I have to move. Family business.

Aren't there some people
you have to consult...

before you do a thing like that?

Uh-uh.

What are they doing?

Listen, I never wanted
to stand in your way.

The last thing I'd want
to do is hold you back.

What about you? You have to
think about yourself and your work.

Sometimes, there are things
that are more important than work.

Go to a commercial! Fast!

You have worked long and
hard to get where you are.

Don't put yourself down. Hi.

Hi.

You're still with us.
This is Sylvia Parker.

When we come back, we'll
have weather and sports.

[Man] Clear.

Sylvia, it's bad enough
you're walking out on me.

Do you have to
sink the station...

while you make your exit?

I'm sorry, Ray.

And what would you say
if I told you I'm not leaving?

I'd say, "Bless you."

Syl, that'd be crazy.

Butt out, Brian!

Why is he crazy?
Because you're right.

I can find plenty of
work in New York.

But you wouldn't be happy there.

She's right. They're always
having garbage strikes.

There'll be other job offers.

We'll make a move when
it's right for both of us.

The girl makes
sense, Brian. Will you...

Are you sure you're
doing the right thing?

Who knows? All I know is...

I can't be happy
if you're miserable.

If it isn't right for both
of us, it just isn't right.

Okay, anchorlady.

[Sighs] I love happy
endings. Yeah.

You don't get many of
those on a news show.

♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪

♪ And enjoy the
fun of managing ♪

♪ The facts of life
They shed a lotta light ♪

♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother ♪

♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪

♪ Better get 'em right
Call her late at night ♪

♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪

♪ All you gotta do to get
you through is understand ♪

♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪

♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪♪