02x08 - Teenage Marriage: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ You take the good
You take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growing
Now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ You ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life
Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪♪

[Male Narrator] Last
week on Facts of Life:

I-I didn't expect you to
come all the way up here

from Chicago.

Hey, after hearin' your
little voice on the phone,

I could tell you needed me.

Especially the way
your mom dumped ya.

I love you.

And now all we
have is each other.

That's why I want
you to marry me.

I don't know what to say.

- Is this an engagement ring?
- An engagement ring?

Stand back. I'm identifying.

You know,

tonight I was gonna
say no to Eddie,

but you helped me realize

that he's the only
one I can trust.

Eddie.

Let's get married right away.

And now we continue...

- Mrs. Garrett!
- Blair, what is it?

Are Eddie and Jo here yet?

No. Weren't they at
the restaurant with you?

Yes, but they left even before
the vichyssoise was served,

which was rude.

But it's all my
fault. I'm to blame.

Blair, what happened?

Eddie and Jo wanna get married.

- Well, we knew that.
- Tonight!

That we didn't know.

They took off on Jo's motorcycle

to come back here
and get her things...

after they pick up the groom's
duffle bag at the YMCA.

Well, I've been trying to
reach her mother, but no luck.

How can Jo throw her life
away at such an early age?

I can just see her
in a few years...

Living in a tenement with
screaming children.

Eddie, drinking
beer and belching.

Sounds like a hit TV series.

Don't joke, Tootie.
Poverty is no fun.

You listen to Blair.

She saw Coal Miner's Daughter.

Hi. I got somethin' to tell ya.

Paul Revere already
got here with the news.

Excuse me.

There is nothing more I can do.

Would you put that in writing?

You already insulted Eddie,

accused me of
being a poor stupe,

and sicced Bink Parker on us.

That wienie.

You didn't miss a trick.

I must have.

You're still getting married.

Jo, you're really
going through with it?

- Happy marriage!
- Thanks, Tootie.

I guess you think I'm too
young to get married, huh?

Well, it doesn't
matter what I think.

You're the one who
has to be happy.

Smoke cleared yet?

Eddie!

Congratulations!

I don't know if I
approve, but all the best.

And have a wonderful,
wonderful marriage.

Natalie, don't milk it.

You take good care of
this little girl, ya hear?

You can count on it.

I'll just get my suitcase
out of the storage room.

- Jo, must you leave tonight?
- Yeah.

Eddie's gotta get
back to the base.

We're taking my bike

and detouring
through West Virginia.

The legal age is there.

You can't ride
that bike tonight.

It's freezing out there!

She's right.

You don't wanna end
up with a frigid bride.

We'll be just fine.
Let's get my suitcase.

At least discuss it
with your mother!

Let her discuss it with
her new boyfriend Jack.

Jo. Jo!

[Sighs]

Somehow we've
got to keep her here

till her mother calls.

She's the only one who
might talk some sense into her.

I don't believe she's
running off tonight.

I won't have a chance to
get her a wedding present.

So? We'll mail 'em to her.

No, you won't.

You'll give it to her
at a bridal shower!

What "bridal shower"?

The one we're gonna
give her right now

to keep her here
till her mom calls.

Mrs. Garrett, you're a genius!

I know!

Let's see. First, we'll
need refreshments.

Howard!

Girls, go to your room
and dig up some gifts.

Yeah, Edna!

Quick, thaw out that
sheet cake in the freezer.

Sure. What's the big rush?

I'm fighting time.
I'll explain later.

It'll just take me a minute
to pack and change.

Jo, you can't leave yet.

Not after the girls
and I have planned...

a bridal shower.

- A bridal shower?
- Mm-hmm.

- You wanna do that for me?
- Oh, yes.

We wanna give you
something you'll remember

for the rest of your life.

That sounds beautiful.

Does it take long?

Just long enough.

Well, shall we get started?

Howard!

Well, uh, he's been
preparing the cake.

I'm comin'. I'm comin'.

Ah, see?

It's ready.

Are you kiddin'?

I just got this
out of the freezer.

Howard, meet Eddie
Brennan, my fiancé.

Howard, while we're
having our shower,

why don't you guys go
over to the Chugalug Bar

for a little old bachelor party.

Well, I don't know
if we've got the time.

Take the time.

Uh, you only get married once.

Okay.

I'll be back soon, honey.

I'll be ready to go.

Keep him there
as long as you can.

I'm hoping her
mother will call in time.

I got you. Yeah.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on. Come on.

[Howard Chuckling]

Hey. You break your
teeth on that cake,

don't flap your gums at me.

I'm really surprised you're
doin' all this, Mrs. Garrett.

I was sure you'd think I
was makin' a big mistake.

I do. But I guess you think

you're old enough to
know what you're doing.

Tootie said you needed
some decorations for a shower?

Oh, Blair, how thoughtful.

Designer toilet paper.

Uh, listen.

If she's gonna be at
this shower, I'm not.

Now, Jo, you and Blair
are roommates and friends.

- You mean we were.
- Don't worry.

I can take a hint.

I wouldn't come to your
bridal shower anyway.

I don't even know what
your silver pattern is.

It's not quite ready yet.

I can't believe this.

We're havin' ice cream and cake,

like it's a kid's party.

But in a few hours,

Jo's gonna be a married woman.

That's quite an observation.

I wonder what my mom would say

if I were getting married at ?

She's into psychology,

so she avoids using words like

"can't," "mustn't" and "never."

She'd find other words like

"hurt," "maim," "k*ll."

Is it okay if I open
the gifts now?

- I'd like to get 'em packed.
- Oh, sure.

You just get started.

I'll be right back with mine.

- "From Tootie."
- Save the ribbons.

They're good luck for keeping
the marriage tied together.

Or if Eddie wants to walk out,

you can strangle him.

Wow, a photo album!

But, Tootie, this
is your special one.

It was. Now it's yours.

[Chuckles] Whoops.

You don't need
Michael and Billy Dee.

But if it's all right with you,

I'll leave my picture in there,

so you don't dare forget me.

Hey,

I couldn't forget you.

You're my favorite pest.

Thanks, Tootie.

"From Natalie."

That's me.

Natalie! You're
giving this away?

It's that fancy diary you
bought for your memoirs.

Right now, my life's
not very memoir-able.

Thanks.

Here.

You don't have to
give me any presents.

It's not a present. Just
something I'm tired of.

Wow! Look out, mama!

What a great warm-up suit!

Blair, isn't that the nightie

you bought from
Saks Fifth Avenue?

It's not a nightie.

It's a peignoir.

If Jo insists on this madness,
I want her to do it with style.

But this is brand new.

So what?

I was just going to unveil
it at some slumber party.

It'll be much more effective
where you're going to unveil it.

Oo-oo-ooh!

Gee, uh... uh... Thanks?

Don't mention it.

Well, enjoy your shower.

Listen.

Yes?

You might as well stay.

You don't take up
that much room.

Oh, good! You're having fun.

Here, Jo, for you.

Thanks, Mrs. Garrett.

A Bible!

It's beautiful.

But it's your Bible.

You can't give this to me.

I just did.

It'll kind of watch over you.

And no one deserves
it more than you do.

Thanks, all of you.

Never thought it was gonna
be this tough givin' up friends.

You're more than friends.

You're family.

Oh. I better get
this stuff packed.

Wow!

I hope I'm lucky enough to
hook my Prince Charming

when I'm .

Bite your tongue.

You have your whole
life ahead of you.

Mom, you'd be so proud of me.

[Phone Ringing]

Eastland School.

Mrs. Polniaczek! Thank God!

This is Edna Garrett. I've
been trying to reach you.

Well, Mrs. Polniaczek,

Jo's boyfriend, Eddie
Brennan, is here.

He came in from his naval base.

You see, Jo is getting ready
to leave school to get married.

Yes, I know, I know!

We've been stalling
her as long as we can!

I'll make sure Jo
doesn't take off.

So that's what this whole
thing's been about, huh?

First that phony double date,

now this fake shower.

Jo, the shower wasn't fake.

Can't you see

we're all just
trying to help you?

All I can see is that
everyone's double-crossed me.

First my mother,

and now my so-called friends.

And even you, Mrs. Garrett.

Jo, please, you've got
to talk to your mother!

She's still on the phone!

Tell her I left to get married.

But, Jo... Jo!

And then Jo and Eddie tore
out of there on her motorcycle.

Oh, Howard! Didn't you do
anything to try and stop them?

Yeah. Yeah. I-I talked 'em

outta goin' to West
Virginia tonight

in this below-freezing weather.

- Thank God.
- I sent 'em to a motel.

[Shrieks]

Howard, which motel?

Ohh, the Ritz Motel,
out on Highway .

Hey, I hear it's reasonable.

Uh, cheap is what it is.

I'll find it.

Howard, you keep
an eye on things here.

Mrs. Polniaczek
is on her way up.

I'll try to bring Jo back.

But you've got to
let me go with you.

- Hmm?
- This whole thing
is my fault.

And Jo is just gonna
try to prove me wrong.

It'll haunt me for
the rest of my life.

All right! You can go.

- But let's hurry.
- Thank you.

Well... at least it's warm.

It's nice, Eddie.

[Chuckles]

Hey, we forgot somethin'.

Oh, yeah!

It's likely to freeze
up out there.

You know what I
was talkin' about.

Oh, yeah.

But, uh, I'm not
officially a bride yet.

Well, nobody's perfect.

And besides, we'll
be married tomorrow.

Well, you'd better
unpack your suitcase,

so your stuff will warm up.

Oh, okay.

You know, I've never
been in a motel before.

And I don't want
to know if you have.

I haven't.

Whoa. What is that, a nightgown?

No, dummy, it's a peignoir set,

compliments of Blair
and Saks Fifth Avenue.

Class.

I bet you look
real beautiful in it.

Hey, why don't you try it on?

Not now.

It's got all these tags
and pins and stuff, see?

"This garment is
made of % silk.

Dry-clean only.

Over % of teenage
marriages end in divorce."

That Blair never gives up!

Hey, Jo, come on.

It's time for you to
forget about Blair

and everybody else,
'cept you and me.

Let's see how you look in it.

Sure. Why not?

Here's the office.

[Buzzer Buzzing] Just
pray that they stopped here.

You mean, pray that they didn't.

What a grungy place
to start a honeymoon.

Hmm.

Welcome to the Ritz Motel.

No vacancy.

Well, we're looking
for a couple who...

Open up. Sir, I
don't want a room!

Lady, I'm watchin'

Masterpiece Theatre in here.

Well, this is important.

We're looking for a couple
who came here by motorcycle.

[Sighs]

You have just described
my entire clientele.

Now, look, if you don't mind,

I'm missin' Me, Claudius.

Please, uh, open this door.

Open this door!

Oh, she is loud and pushy.

Now, look,

this is a very young girl
we're trying to find here.

She's like me,

but much less
sophisticated-looking.

To tell you the truth,

I don't check
birth certificates.

I only got three rules here:

no fights, no loud music,

and no spiked heels
on the water beds.

- Spiked heels?
- Yeah.

They went out over a year ago.

Not around this motel.

The boy is wearing
a sailor's uniform.

Does that help?

Yeah, sailor's unif...

Oh, yeah. He's here. I
don't know which room.

He's in one of the
honeymoon suites.

Oh... oh, which ones are
the honeymoon suites?

The ones with the
ice buckets in 'em.

Eh...

Man, does my bride look classy.

It's the silk.

You know, expensive
clothes like this

do make you feel different.

Boy, am I lucky.

Me, too.

Wanna sit down?

Sure.

- Uh, Eddie...
- Huh?

What's the matter?

We got to be careful.

I don't wanna get pregnant.

Come on!

Will ya relax?

We're gonna be married tomorrow.

That's not what I mean.

Even if we are married,

I can't finish high
school if we have a kid.

Besides, we can't afford one.

Honey, will you stop
worrying about money?

Well... how much do we have?

We got to talk about that now?

I'd like to, yeah.

All right. Uhh, I get
bucks a month.

Well, I guess we can
make it if I get a job, too.

Oh, no way. No wife
of mine is gonna work.

And besides, you'll have
our apartment to take care of

and all those other navy
wives to hang out with.

You mean, at the P.X.
and the Laundromat?

Yeah,

and they go shoppin'
down at the mall.

Oh, they have
lots of fun, honey.

I don't wanna have fun.

I wanna finish high school,
so I can go on to college.

Now how are you
gonna go to college?

I'm in the navy now. We'll
be movin' around a lot.

We will?

Oh, but you won't be lonely.

You'll have our kids
to keep you company.

Kids?

I thought we just said...

Eddie, we have
a lot to talk about.

Tonight?

Look, I just don't want us to
end up like my mom and dad,

hasslin' each other all the time

till nothin' would fix
things but gettin' a divorce.

Honey, nothin' is
gonna split us up.

[Knocking]

Yeah, who is it?

[Mrs. Garrett] Is that Eddie?

Thank you. We'd love to come in.

You have no right
bustin' in here.

No right?

I promised personally
to be responsible for you.

You're lucky I didn't
bring in the headmaster,

the probation officer
and the U.S. Cavalry!

Oh, you should have.

I could use an army blanket.

Now, look.

Your mother's on her way
up, and you're gonna stay put.

Look, Mrs. Garrett,
my mind's made up!

And I don't need my
mom or anyone else

to come runnin' after
me like I was a little kid.

You're staying here
till your mom comes,

or you got me on your honeymoon.

Look, I love Eddie.

And it's not somethin'
I'm gonna get over.

I'll always feel this way.

So will I.

And... that's why we
can't be married now.

[Sighs]

Blair, why don't we go outside

for just a little while longer?

It's below out there!

We'll live through it.

[Weeping]

This is really testing
our friendship.

Jo, what are you talkin' about?

Eddie, I was mad at my mother,

and you and I missed
each other a lot.

But it-it's just
not the right time.

Why not?

I mean, we love
each other, don't we?

Sure,

and we'll still love each
other a year from now...

Five years from now.

Right?

Yeah, wh-what if
somethin's different?

A lot could change between us.

Then, uh,

gettin' married now would've
really been a mistake.

Well.

There's a midnight
bus to Chicago.

Better make sure I'm on it.

You sure look classy.

Take care, huh?

You, too!

[Sniffles]

Jo.

Oh, Mrs. Garrett! [Sobbing]

Well, I guess we're
still stuck with ya.

I think you did the right thing.

Absolutely.

But the next time you decide
to run off and get married,

do it in the summer.

♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪

♪ And enjoy the
fun of managing ♪

♪ The facts of life
They shed a lotta light ♪

♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother ♪

♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪

♪ Better get 'em right
Call her late at night ♪

♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪

♪ All you gotta do to get
you through is understand ♪

♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪

♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪♪