02x04 - Who Am I?

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [Humming]

♪ You take the good
You take the bad ♪

♪ You take 'em both
and there you have ♪

♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪

♪ There's a time you
gotta go and show ♪

♪ You're growing
Now you know about ♪

♪ The facts of life
The facts of life ♪

♪ When the world never seems ♪

♪ To be living up
to your dreams ♪

♪ And suddenly
you're finding out ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ It takes a lot
to get 'em right ♪

♪ When you're
learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪
♪ Learning the facts of life ♪

♪ Learning the facts of life ♪♪

[Sighs] Come on, Natalie.
Stop stalling and call him.

I'm not stalling! You
are too. You're a chicken.

[Imitating Chicken] Buck-buck-buck-buck!
"Buck-buck-buck" to you too.

Girls, the "buck"
stops here! [Laughs]

What's your problem?

She wants to ask Allen to be her partner
in the dance contest, but she's scared.

- Tootie!
- Go for it, Natalie.

The two of you may be the next
Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire.

I don't know.

I can just see the
two of us dancing.

He throws me out...
and never takes me back.

Hello.

Hello, may I help you?

Hello, may I help you?

Well, I'm just here to
restock the candy machines.

Oh, well, what
happened to Mr. Davis?

Well, I'm working for him
after school. He's my uncle.

Your uncle. Oh, it's
nice to meet you, uh...

Fred. Oh, Fred. Well, as
long as you know what to do.

Lady, lady, please.
I am so together,

you can't tell where I
begin and where I end.

Maybe not, but I
sure like his continuity.

Hey, Tootie, you left your
sketchbook in the library. Oh, thanks.

What were you doing in
the library, reading Dumbo?

I don't have to read
Dumbo. I bunk next to her.

Tootie, you constantly
amaze me with your talent.

These dress
designs are gorgeous.

Thank you. They're
my art project.

I was supposed
to do a still life,

but Natalie kept
eating my bowl of fruit.

Only the nectarines. You
can't just let nectarines sit there!

Anyway, Miss Wilson said I could
do some fashion designs instead.

I wish I could actually
make one these,

except I don't
have any material.

Oh, my.

I'm getting another
one of my brilliant ideas.

It's just the tacos from lunch.

My father just sent me some
fabulous fabric from Hong Kong.

You can bring your new design to life,
and I'll have a new dress for the dance.

[Gasps] Okay!
It's a deal. Great.

It won't take that much
material. I am only a size seven.

Where? Your feet?

Who's your partner for
the dance contest, Blair?

Oh, no. I'm not
entering the contest.

Are you kidding? No one can
beat Tootie and Carl. Mm-hmm.

They won last year.
They'll win this year.

Oh? What makes you say that?

♪ Cha-cha, cha-cha ♪

I love dance contests.

You know, when I was your age, I was
the jitterbug queen of Appleton, Wisconsin.

Did I ever tell you about it?

Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah.

♪ When I did the
Jersey Bounce, bop ♪

♪ I shook with every ounce ♪

♪ Oh, oh, yeah ♪♪

All right. Show's over.
Come on. Hit those books.

I'll go get the material for
the dress, Tootie. Okay.

Um, I'd better stay...

and, uh, clean these tables.

They're filthy! Tootie,
they're spotless.

Spotless is not good enough.

You can go, Mrs.
Garrett. I'll handle it.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. You're right.

I did see a few spots. It's wonderful
to see someone so conscientious.

Hi, Fred. I'm Tootie.

Hi. Oh! Would you
like a candy bar?

It's on me. Thanks.

Say, Tootie, what's it like going
to school in a place like this?

Hmm, it's a cross between
summer camp and Sing Sing.

I mean, you got
any "sisters" here?

No, but I have two
brothers at home.

Girl, you gotta get with it. Don't
you know a "sister" from a sister?

Oh! "Sister" sister.
Sure. I've got sisters here.

- You gonna stay here
much longer?
- Till I graduate.

[Scoffs] That's a long time
to be living in an "ivory" tower.

What are you talking about,
Fred? You know what color ivory is.

Somebody must have
slam-dunked your brain.

I'm happy here, and
I got a lot of friends,

and they all treat me
as an equal. Mm-hmm.

Oh, there you are, Tootie.
Here's the material for my dress.

Am interrupting anything?
Well, this is what I had in mind.

You know, something
simple, but elegant.

You did a wonderful job on this one. I
love the empire waist and spaghetti straps.

Thanks. Oh, and remember,
I need it in time for the dance.

Thanks a lot, Tootie.

She is a gem.

Some equal. You
do her laundry too?

It's not like that. I want
to make that dress.

Sure. Just like our people
wanted to pick cotton.

Fred, back off.

Can't you hear how
she talks down to you?

That's just Blair. She
talks down to everyone.

I'll bet she talks lower to you.

Come on now. That's a friend
of mine you're talking about.

Yeah? You ever been
invited to her house? No.

But she's never been
invited to mine either.

Are you trying to tell
me you girls are tight?

Are you kidding? We're...
We're... We're like a family.

We're tighter than the Osmonds.

Don't you mean the
Osmonds plus one Jackson?

Come on, Fred. Hey. Hey.
I wouldn't get on your case,

except I hate to see such
a foxy chick like yourself...

fadin' in front of my face.

You got it half
right. I am foxy.

But I'm not fadin'. And those
girls are my best friends.

Then good luck. 'Cause when you mix a
black horse in with a bunch of white ones,

all you end up with
is a confused zebra.

I don't know if I wanna
talk to you anymore.

Hey, be cool, be
cool. We're just rappin'.

There's no harm
in that, is there?

I guess not.

Actually, you're a very
interesting person... for a cute guy.

Hey! Hey! What can I say?

Hi, Allen. It's Natalie.

Natalie Green.

How 'bout entering the
dance contest with me?

Well... [Blows
Raspberry] to you too.

Oh, it's never gonna work.

Will you give us a break?
Just call him and say, "Hey, Al.

You're dancing with me in the
contest, or you'll never dance again."

Thank you, Dear Abby.

Look who finally fell out
of the candy machine.

She's been spending
all her time down there.

You're just jealous because I
get my peanut-butter cups for free.

What more can one
ask from a romance...

Except a hefty advance
on a prenuptial agreement.

We don't have a "romance."

I happen to be
attracted to Fred's mind.

I feel the same way
about John Belushi.

Look, I like what Fred has
to say. He makes me think.

- About what?
- About "what it is."

What is it?

You know. "What it is."

Whatever it is, you blew
the committee meeting...

with Mrs. Garrett
for the dance contest.

Oh, no! I was supposed to help her
with the decorations. What do I tell her?

Aw, it doesn't matter.
Any little white lie will do.

"White lie," Blair?

If the little ones are white, what
color are the lies that are K*llers?

Plaid?

Well, you better come up with something,
or you'll be behind the eight ball.

See! That's another thing. How
come the eight ball is black...

and when you're behind
it, you're in hot water?

Hey, don't bust my chops!

You want to be behind the
six ball, be behind the six ball!

What is it with
you lately? Nothing.

Listen, candy bars a
day can make anyone jumpy.

Tootie, Carl's downstairs. He's
waiting to rehearse for the dance contest.

[Sighs] Yeah. Okay. And since
you missed the committee meeting,

we went ahead and decided
the decorations for the dance.

Now, Blair's doing the ceiling,
Natalie's doing the walls,

and you're doing the windows.

Tootie's here, Carl. Oh, Carl,
you'll have to get out of there.

I'm defrosting, and my ice
is getting nice and mushy.

Sorry, Mrs. Garrett.
Oh, hey, Tootie.

Let's go rehearse. I
can't rehearse with you.

Tootie, we have to
rehearse. When you dance

as well as we do,
overconfidence is the enemy.

There are things in here
I don't even recognize.

Carl, I can't be your
partner in the dance contest.

Why not, Tootie? Well, we
worked real hard last year...

and all we won were
his-and-her Frisbees.

I know, but this year first prize is
two portable stereos with tape decks.

My pork butt has freezer burn.

Look, Carl, I just
can't dance with you.

Why not? What's the problem?

Well, actually...

You know when you throw me up
in the air? It makes me nauseous.

All right. I won't
throw you up in the air.

It's an attention grabber,
but it's out. Okay?

Carl, you don't understand.

Look, Tootie, the dance is in two
days! You can't cop out on me now.

Look, Carl. I
can, and that's it!

Women! If I live to be ,
I'll never understand them.

Why won't you dance
with Carl in the contest?

Look, Mrs. Garrett. Fred
told me how these things work.

You start out inter-dancing and you
end up intermarrying. It's inevitable.

Are you saying that
people of different races

shouldn't have anything
to do with each other?

Not even dance together?

That's what Fred says.

I used to know a girl named
Tootie who thought for herself.

Mrs. Garrett, when you
mix black and white...

all you get is gray,
and that's nowhere.

You always seemed so happy here.

You think it's a terrific
thing giving a black girl...

a white education
and white friends.

Nobody cares that I'm gonna wake
up one morning and not know who I am.

[Sobbing] Well, I care, and I
won't let that happen to me.

I just won't!

Tootie, I did it! I did it!
I finally asked Allen...

to be my dance partner in
the contest, and he said, "Yes."

He laughed a lot,
but he said, "Yes."

Oh, hey, Natalie,
that's... That's nice.

You okay, Tootie?
Sure, I'm okay!

Why wouldn't I be okay?

Because when you're okay,
you don't say, "Sure, I'm okay!"

Lately, you've been biting everybody's
head off. What's bugging you?

I'm finding out
who I am. I'm black.

No kiddin'!

We thought you were
Suzanne Somers.

That's not funny!

When did this get to be such
a big deal all of a sudden?

We all know we're different.

I'm Blair Warner,
and... you're not.

You got it a little mixed up. You're all
the same. I'm the one that's different,

and I don't want to forget it.

Then write yourself a note.

Just a little humor there.

Tootie, I pressed it.
You did a wonderful job.

What's that? Oh, this is the
dress that Tootie made for you...

A galabia.

A-A galabia... without
spaghetti straps.

Oh. It-It's very... African.

- Something wrong with that?
- No!

Next to Calvin Klein,
it's my favorite style.

Tootie, it is beautiful.

How does this go?

It's a hip scarf.
It goes like this.

Higher.

How cute.

A bra.

Higher. It's a
kilemba... A headdress.

You wear it around your head?

Yeah. Give us a break.
Wrap it around your face.

Tootie, your design is dynamite!

When I make a dress, I want people
to know it was made by a black person.

Great idea. Put it on the label
right next to "dry-clean only."

Are you making fun of my dress?

No. I think it's a knockout.

Don't pretend to
like it if you don't.

I don't want you
messin' with my head.

Tootie, don't be so sensitive.

If I didn't like it,
I'd say so. I like it.

Why don't we all go down
and have some ice cream?

Yeah, we don't care what
flavor... chocolate or vanilla.

No, thank you. I've
invited some friends over.

We're meeting downstairs now.

I thought we were her friends.

Hi, guys. [All] Hi, Tootie.

How's it going? Okay.

Well, I guess you're wondering
why I called you all here.

I always wanted to say
that, you know? [Giggles]

[Clears Throat] Anyway,

I wanted us to get together
so we could talk about things.

- What things?
- Well, you know,
the kind of things...

that we, as black women, share.

Right!

What do we share?

You know, like, we all
come from the same place.

Hey! No kidding? You
from Baltimore too?

No. I mean, originally.

Originally we're from Atlanta,

but we moved to
Baltimore when I was three.

She means Africa.

Oh. We're from Jamaica.

Julia, you're into
Africa, aren't you?

Yes. It's the subject
of all my poems.

I loved the one that was
in the school newspaper...

"Ghana With The Wind."

My boyfriend Jamaal's
into poetry too.

Well, when's Jamaal gonna
fix me up with his brother?

- He's working an it.
- Hey, Terry, maybe we
could double-date sometime?

Nah, I don't date.

I'm in training.

But listen, Tootie. You can always
keep me company when I run.

- I'd love to.
- I'm at the track
every day at : .

- Before dinner?
- Before breakfast.

You run at : in the morning?
My nose won't run that early.

[Natalie] Hi, guys!
Hi, everybody.

Hey, Blair, you were
right about that blue dress.

Oh, I knew it'd turn Jamaal on.
Wow, you should have seen him.

Hey, Julia, I hear you're
running for Latin Club president.

You know what they say: "Altius
ibunt qui ad summa nituntur."

"They will rise highest who
strive for the highest places."

"E pluribus unum."
"Have a nice day."

Yeah. Bye.

Yeah. Bye. Bye. Bye.

[Sighs]

Now, where were we? Whoops.
"Tempus fugit." "Time flies."

I'll see you later, Tootie.

You know, Tootie, getting
together like this was a good idea.

Yeah. Maybe I'll see
you at the track sometime.

Well, how was your get-together?

Well, to tell you the truth,
Mrs. Garrett, it kinda laid there.

Julia's really a brain, but
she talks Latin all the time.

And Madge... All she talks about is Jamaal,
and he's even more boring than Latin.

Well, not all people have the
same interests. What about Terry?

It's hard to be best friends with someone
whose idea of fun is to run until you drop.

You can't whip up
friendships like instant pudding.

You have to let 'em
simmer in the pot a while...

till they thicken
like spaghetti sauce.

Oh, besides, Tootie, you
have a lot of good friends.

I know, but I'm
black, and they're not.

And, well, see,
Fred and I talk a lot,

and he says that your friends
should be the same kind you are.

That's why I couldn't
be Carl's dance partner.

All I know is everyone loves
to watch you and Carl dance.

[Sighs] I don't care.

I asked Fred to be
my partner instead.

Well, no one's going to stop you
from doing what you want to do,

but I gotta tell ya,
Natalie and Jo and Blair...

are a little upset about
what's happening.

They think of you as a close friend,
and they don't want that to change.

But they can't be my close
friends. They shouldn't be.

But they still are.

I know. I'm so confused.

Well, I guess when it
comes to black and white,

things aren't necessarily...
black and white.

Mrs. Garrett, what should I do?

Tootie, honey, I
wish I could tell you,

but the black experience
isn't my experience.

But I can tell ya one thing.

The answer is inside yourself,

and when you hear it,
you'll know what to do.

♪♪ [ 's Rock And Roll]

Man, what am I doin' here?

You're my guest and my
partner for the dance contest.

Look at her. What is
she trying to prove?

Isn't my galabia beautiful?

And don't I look
wonderful in it?

Yes and yes.

I couldn't wear the
head turban though.

My hair is my crowning glory.

Hi. What're you smilin' at?

Just keep walking, nerd.

Okay everybody. Five minute
warm-up for the big contest.

Dancers, start your
engines! ♪♪ [Disco]

Okay, Fred. Let's
dance. Right on.

Let's show 'em how
it's done. Right on.

♪♪ [Continues]

Well, another
myth shot to pieces.

Listen, you know, Tootie, it's not too
late to change your mind about the contest.

Hey, if you're movin' in on
my date, sucker, start prayin'.

Ah! This dance is
finally getting interesting.

Listen, I got a girlfriend.
In fact, I got three.

See, I just want to
dance with Tootie.

Yeah, just so
she'll help you win.

Now, why would he want to dance
with someone who'd help him lose?

I bet you think she's
got "rhythm" too.

No. Actually, he's the one with
the rhythm. I'm the crowd-pleaser.

You really want to
dance with that white boy?

No. I want to dance with Carl.

We won last year
and we can do it again.

Sure you'll win. Look
at your competition.

They move white.

If they move
white, then so do I,

'cause I taught them
every step they know.

Then you'll have to give them more
lessons, 'cause they can't dance.

They can't dance? Huh!

Bro, that's the pot
callin' the kettle black.

And what's that
supposed to mean?

It's just a figure of
speech. Lighten up, Fred.

Watch your language, girl.

Look, I know you want
me to know who I am.

Well, I know who I am. I'm me.

And nobody tells me
who my friends should be.

I pick 'em myself. After all,
my taste can't be too bad.

I picked you, didn't I?

I hear you.

Now, I'm gonna win with Carl,
but I'm gonna celebrate with you.

Everybody stand back...

Except for my roommates,

'cause I can't win this without
a little help from my friends.

♪ And it timed itself so well ♪

♪ So glad you asked me to dance
♪ ♪ Glad I asked you to dance ♪

♪ I knew you'd ask me to dance
♪ ♪ Glad I asked you to dance ♪

♪ So glad you asked
me to dance ♪♪

♪ You'll avoid a lot of damage ♪

♪ And enjoy the
fun of managing ♪

♪ The facts of life
They shed a lotta light ♪

♪ If you hear 'em
from your brother ♪

♪ Better clear 'em
with your mother ♪

♪ Better get 'em right
Call her late at night ♪

♪ You got the future in
the palm of your hand ♪

♪ All you gotta do to get
you through is understand ♪

♪ You think you'd
rather do without ♪

♪ You'll never make it
through without the truth ♪

♪ The facts of life
are all about you ♪♪