Transcripts - Forever Dreaming

(Stephanie Mills' "Shake
Me Loose" playing)

♪ I'd like to be J. Paul Getty ♪

♪ That gig Has got potential ♪

♪ But the only thing
That's essential ♪

♪ Is having a friend Like you ♪

♪ Well, you can try
To shake me loose ♪

♪ Don't try To shake me ♪

♪ You can leave If
you got a mind to ♪

♪ But I'm gonna be
Right behind you ♪

♪ It ain't an ease ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

♪ I'd like a chateau In Paris ♪

♪ There ain't no doubt
About it ♪ ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪

♪ But I can Live without it ♪

♪ If I've got A
friend like you ♪

♪ Well, you can try
To shake me loose ♪

♪ Don't try To shake me ♪

♪ You can tell me To go away ♪

♪ But it doesn't
matter What you say ♪

♪ It ain't an ease ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

♪ You're stuck with me ♪

♪ I'm stickin' around ♪

♪ You're stuck with me ♪
♪ I'm stickin' around ♪

♪ You're stuck with ♪

♪ Oh, ohhhh ♪

♪ Try to shake me loose ♪
♪ Shake me loose ♪

♪ You can leave If
you got a mind to ♪

♪ But I'm gonna be
Right behind you ♪

♪ It ain't an ease ♪

♪ You ain't never
gonna Shake me loose ♪

( upbeat theme playing)

HENRY: I thought it
was a pretty good movie.

WOMAN: Yeah. I
love Disney films.

You know, it's amazing what
they can get poodles to do.

(chuckles) Sure is.

Well, Henry, it's
been a lovely evening.

Well, it doesn't
have to stop here.

You're so funny.

(chuckles)

Well, good night. Uh, Cheryl,

uh, there's a custom handed
down through the ages.

Uh, man and woman out on a date,

at the end of the night... Oh.

That's not it. Heh-heh.

Cheryl, I'm gonna
be honest with you.

We've been going out
for three weeks now.

My forehead is not one
of my erogenous zones.

Oh, Henry, I
really like you a lot,

but I just don't feel
that way about you.

I hope we can still be friends.

Sure. Sure. I understand.

Friends last longer
than lovers anyway.

Good. (chuckles)

Aw, come here.

Wow. Heh-heh.

Good night, Henry.

Good night.

(chuckles)

Get back in there!

Good night.

Good night, sweetie.

( funky dance theme playing)

(indistinct chatter)

Smoky link?

No, thank you.

Suit yourself.

Are you finished
with your grapefruit?

Hildy, I don't eat the seeds.

Roughage.

Another cup of joe?

Thanks, but I've got a
busy day ahead of me.

Three print jobs.

This morning I let my
fingers do the walking.

This afternoon my
lips get quenched.

And at 4, I cross my heart.

Oh, a religious commercial.

Not this way.

This way.

I wear those.

You need to.

I have a really busy day too.

This afternoon I'm
assisting at a vasectomy.

And then I have an
audition for Mame.

It's a full and wonderful life.

You know, I don't think you
girls ever told us what you do.

We're actresses.

Yes, I don't like to boast,

but I played the lead
in the Ottawa production

of Man of La Mancha.

But they called it
Mama of La Mancha.

I played Donna Quixote.

Well, look, I really have to go.

Dr. Miller will be furious

if I'm late for one
more triple bypass.

Bye. Who does he think he is?

I mean, you're a busy woman.

You got shoes to
buy and everything.

That woman had
the best... Buffy.

Smile. I love a lass
with a nice smile.

A smile you could
sink your teeth into.

I know there's a
certain kind of man

that likes that sort of woman.

Any man with
breath in his lungs.

Hildegarde, that
young lady could take

a few lessons from you.

Oh, I don't think so.

You're so demure,
feminine, delicate.

Please don't go on.

Oh, don't be modest.

You are 100 percent woman.

Of course she is.
Anyone can see it.

It's the inner
glow of femininity

that I'm judging by.

Not merely your discreet
charm and womanly bearing.

I'll bet you take
after your mother.

Yeah, but there's a
bit of Dad left in me too.

Little tiny bit.

( upbeat theme playing)

(sighs) How about
a doughnut, big guy?

I got your basic crumb.

I got your basic jelly.

You got your basic glazed?

Well, yeah. It's kind of old.

Just this, uh, moldy
green one here.

Good morning, children.

And I say children to
indicate experience,

certainly not any great
age difference between us.

This morning, as
every week at this time,

Mr. Rabinowitz digs deep
into his corporate wallet

and rewards you.

In other words, payday!

This salary's not based
solely on merit or ability,

but is a reflection of what
Mr. Rabinowitz likes to call...

The minimum wage.

I'm not just here to
pass out paychecks.

I bring compliments.

Ooh, it's nice to know
you're appreciated.

You're not. Henry is.

Thanks, Ruth.

Mint doughnut?

Certainly not.

Henry, you did an excellent job

on the Granny Katie's
Coco Chippies account.

Hear, hear. Yes.

Not just everybody
could write something like:

"It's a cook-cook-cookie sweet
and nutty as Granny herself."

Sings. ♪ A cook-cook-cookie ♪

The slogan is a hit.

Unified Chemical, Petroleum
and Pesticides loves it.

That's very kind.

Who?

Unified Chemical,
Petroleum and Pesticides.

Much better known
as Granny Katie.

She makes the only
dumpling with a half-life.

The point is, Henry,
they loved your work.

That's very kind.

That's my boy.

Nobody else could write
such sappy, flowery, frilly drivel.

Except maybe my
little niece, Gloria.

That's... That's nice.

Ruth, I think that Henry's

had enough
complimenting for one day.

Well, I'm off to
see Mr. Rabinowitz.

Going to present
him with Henry's copy.

Take a little credit where
credit isn't necessarily due.

Give him our love.

That woman called
me flowery and frilly.

This morning Lilly calls me
demure, feminine and delicate.

What's going on, huh?

You were wearing
a blouse, a skirt

and Joan Crawford
"hurt me" pumps.

What did you want
her to call you, "Butch"?

Relax. Henry, come on.

Besides, I happen to
personally think of you

as a man's man.

Really? You're an animal!

Look at you, huh?
Does that hurt? No.

Does that hurt? No.

Does that hurt?

Yeah, a little bit.

Henry?

May I speak to you a moment?

Sure, Camille. What
can I do for you?

Henry, I need a man
like you right now.

I happen to be a
man like me right now.

I need your advice.

You see, I've been having
this problem with my boyfriend.

Uh, Camille, uh, now
is not a good time.

Henry, I know I can talk to you.

You're not like normal men.

Yes, I am! Y... (low
voice): Yes, I am.

You're so sweet and gentle.

You know, the thing
I like best about you,

you're not sexually threatening.

I can be.

(laughs)

Henry, cut it out.

Can we go to Schraft's
and talk about it?

You know, I played
football in high school.

We'll have some tea. I
wrestled snakes once.

I'm buying.

I chewed tobacco.
Here. Feel this. Henry.

Ask her to arm wrestle.
The smart money's on you.

Kip?

That is a cute couple.

( jazzy horn theme playing)

(stammering)

Look, Anton, you
are the third person

I've spoken with down there.

Now, when the dress came home,

the spot was still on it.

No, my wife is not
overly particular.

I'm not married. It
happens to be my dress.

Well, I'm flattered,

but, no, I've already seen
Evita. Thanks, anyway.

(sighing): Oh.

(groans)

Good morning.

Wrong. Where's Henry?

He's got to overhaul

the whole Granny Katie's
Coco Chippie account.

There's been an investigation.

It seems the FDA has
decided it's a hazardous cookie.

Did those busybodies at the FDA

find some more mercury in them?

Well, we'll just have
to use a new slogan.

How 'bout, "Eat a cookie,
take your temperature"?

Henry?

Hey, babe.

How's my little muffin today?

Your muffin is stunned.

Wha...?

Tony Orlando have a garage sale?

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Hm-hm-hm.

What's so funny?

The last time I saw
a chest like that,

I was a den mother.

Aw, come on. He looks cute.

A little shiny but cute.

That's beautiful, Amy.
Stand by your man.

Henry, Henry.

Henry, Henry, where
are you? I need you now.

I'm here, Ruth. I'm fine.

Henry, what I need
is a good copywriter,

not Zorro.

You used to write
copy, didn't you, Ruth?

You're right.

How can I forget?

I'll write it myself.

It'll be kind of fun.

Get the old creative
juices flowing again.

Ooh.

Thank you, Kip.

Henry, seek professional help.

Uh, Ruth is right, you know.

You've sort of belly-flopped
over the deep end here, guy.

I mean, uh,

what happened to Henry
Desmond, my little buddy?

Where's my little sweetheart?

That's it.

I'm not your sweetheart.
I'm not your little buddy.

I'm a suave, manly kind of guy,

and this is the image of
myself I've chosen to project.

I...

Ah-choo!

I'm comfortable with it.

(both laugh)

"Suave, manly..." Ah-choo!

My best friend, folks.

Look, I'm not interested
in being the kind of guy

every woman thinks
of as her brother.

(laughing)

I don't wanna be cute. I
don't wanna be trusted.

Henry, you can't help it.

You're just a sweet guy.

Damn.

Oh, Henry, look...

I'm sorry for laughing at you.

(chuckles)

Buck up, come on.

Just look on this as a
very noble experiment

that just didn't work out, huh?

Henry, is that you?

Quite a change.

Yeah, w... Well, y-you like it?

Yeah. Yeah, I do.

Well, dig this, babe.

It gets better. Ooh.

I like it. I like it.

Would you like lunch? I would.

Come on. I'll grab
ya a couple of steaks.

I'm buying.

Whoo.

Henry, what are
going to lunch now for?

It's only 9:30 in the morning.

It's not Henry anymore.

It's Hank.

You think Hank is butch?

My mom had a
parakeet named Hank.

It got eaten by the
neighbor's cat, Puff-Puff!

( mellow theme playing)

Kip, I really think you're
taking Hank too seriously.

That's just it. I can't
take him seriously at all.

"Mr. Macho." "El Stud."

I hate guys that are into
this whole macho thing.

Well, Kip, you
should be thankful.

I mean, he could
start wearing a dress.

(all laughing)

Sonny, what an imagination.

A dress. Could you
picture that? Those legs.

Howdy.

Henry, are you chewing tobacco?

Milk Duds.

Well, it's not exactly
the Henry I'm used to,

but if Dale could
live with Roy...

Hey, the reason I dropped by
was to round up some of you

to go to the Manhattan
Corral tonight.

The Manhattan Corral?

Yeah, it's a new
club on the west side.

I've been hanging out
there. My kind of people.

What, other escapees?

Henry... Hank.

Henry. Hank. "Hopalong."

This is not the
Longbranch Saloon.

Will you look at yourself?

Look at yourself.

Shoes made out of dead reptiles.

This shirt. Howdy Doody
wore a shirt like this I believe.

And this hat. The Flying
Nun never wore a hat so big.

You're dressed like
an urban cowpie.

You can't rile me.

I'm just wondering who
wants to step out tonight?

No way.

Ah, why not? I'll get my chaps.

Attagirl. Count me out.

You know, I heard a
lot about that place.

(cowgirl accent):
I'll get my g*n.

As far as I'm concerned,
you can go alone.

It could be fun. I'll go.

Let's ride, partner.

HENRY: Yee-haw!

Whoo! Don't you
think he looks stupid?

I think he looks great.

Hey, Henry! Where'd
you get that hat?

(country music
playing over speaker)

Come on, get
along, little doggies.

(chuckles)

They know me here.

Howdy, Matt.

Can I see your ID, buddy?

Buddy's my nickname.
It's just a formality.

Okay. Thank you.

I love this place.

Oh! I love it too!

It looks like Ray
Bolger exploded.

(laughs)

Whoo. Cute guy.

What do you see in him?

Hey, Tex.

Billy Joe, Shlomo.

I feel gal-dang comfortable.

Mighty comfortable,
dang burn it.

Did you hear him?
"Gal-dang comfortable."

Are you gals
gal-danged comfortable?

Hey, you're gal-dang
right! Gal-dang right!

Would you give the guy a break?

(crowd cheering)

ALL: Oh! Shlomo!

Gosh. That's the kind of
machine that can ruin a marriage.

You don't think I
can ride it, do you?

Sure, we do.

Oh, yeah, you can ride it.

You can not only
ride it, you can milk it.

You don't think I'm
man enough, do ya?

You're more than
man enough, Henry.

I'd pay cash money to
hear you say that to me.

You'd have to.

Okay, Billy Joe,
turn it up to "cyclone."

No! Please, leave it
on "Shetland pony."

Hit it.

(crowd cheering)

Two hands! Two hands!

Much better than
I was last night.

Henry.

Why are you doing this?

Yeah, we like you
the way you are.

You don't have to prove
anything to anybody.

Will you listen to
what they're saying?

Let's get out of here.

I built me up a man-size thirst.

I got to fetch me a beer.

Kip, you ought to give
that baby a little spin.

Kip, you're not
gonna try it, are you?

Uh, no, I can't.
Doctor's orders.

I got this old
merry-go-round injury.

(speaks indistinctly)

How you doing, sweet thing?

Can I buy you a beer?

I've got one coming. Thanks.

There something I
can do for you, buddy?

I was just offering to
buy the lady a beer.

What's it to you?

That's my woman.

You talk to her, you talk to me.

I don't think I like
your attitude, buddy.

He's gonna get k*lled.

(laughing)

What's everybody
laughing at me for today?

Kip, would you
please do something?

I said he's gonna
get k*lled, not me.

Kip, you've got to stop
him. That guy's a monster.

All right, all right, all
right. I'll handle the big guy.

Oh, this is great:
Two macho imbeciles.

Uh... Excuse me,
uh, Mr. Hombre, sir.

Uh, you have to
pardon my friend here.

He was hit in the head
with a large office machine.

Okay, buddy.

Anyone can make a mistake.

Well, I didn't make
a mistake, bozo.

But nobody makes
the same mistake twice.

Oh, yeah?

(Amy screams)

(gasps)

He better not show
his face in here again.

Come on. I feel like
a game of air hockey.

Are you all right?

You know, the bigger
they are, the harder they hit.

Henry, can we please
go home? Okay?

Aw, forget about it!

I'm all right.

Come on, Sonny, let's dance.

No, thanks. I don't think
my Blue Cross will cover it.

Come on, what
about you, Isabelle?

What do you say
we two step a bit?

Honey, I just want to
get out of here alive.

Look, I lied, Henry.
I don't have a g*n.

You guys.

Okay.

I guess it's Amy.

"I guess it's Amy"?

Come on, you've been
after me for months.

Don't do this to me.

This is your big
night. Don't blow it.

Henry, shut up.

Come on, babe, I'm your man.
You want me and you know it.

No. No, I don't.

I wanted Henry.

I don't ever want Hank.

HENRY: Wait a... Wait a second.

Very nice.

Very, very nice.

First, you embarrass us,

and now you hurt a woman
who truly cares about you.

I... I hope you're
pleased with yourself.

You were really quite the man.

(exhales)

Where's Amy?

She's getting something.

Nice eye.

I feel like half
The Lone Ranger.

Hurts? Only when I see.

Here's the typing
paper you wanted.

Amy, I want to talk to
you. Can we have lunch?

Amy, I'm very sorry.

It was terribly rude of me.

I'll never do it again. Amy,
I made a fool of myself.

I'm doing it again. I don't
care. I'm saying it. I'm sorry.

Please, can we just talk?

No.

Amy, I... I don't want
to lose your friendship.

I think it may be
too late for that.

Oh, sweetheart, don't say that.

(sobbing): You
made me feel like dirt.

( melancholy theme playing)

I didn't mean to. I...

Amy, if there's one
person in the whole world

I never want to hurt, it's you.

(sobbing): I'm so sorry.

Are you crying?

No.

I think you are.

It's embarrassing.

Why?

It's the most masculine
thing you've done all week.

When you wear
pantyhose at dinner,

it's hard to know
what's masculine.

Henry.

You've got this crazy notion

about what being a man is.

It is not risking your neck
on a rawhide roller coaster,

and it is not calling
me "babe" or "muffin."

You're a gentleman.

Broken down, that
means gentle man.

That's what you are, Henry.

And that's why I
find you so attractive.

You really still
think I'm attractive?

Hey, I only go for
class A material myself.

Don't change.

Thank God.

Those pointy-toed
boots were k*lling me.

(clears throat)

(sniffs)

You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

It okay to call you Henry?

Yes, it's okay.

Hank was shot.

Where?

The O.K. Corral.

Okay.

I love those lips. Heh.

Aw, who doesn't?

Could you mail this for me?

Hi, Henry.

Hi, Camille.

I heard you were at the
Manhattan Corral last night.

Yeah, yeah, I guess I was.

I also heard you stayed
on the bull for 15 seconds.

Well, yeah, I guess I did.

(sighs) Phew.

My record still stands.

Yeah, but you ought to
see this guy make an omelet.

He uses five kinds of cheese!

(all speaking indistinctly)

( upbeat theme playing)

Hey.

Aren't those Grandma
Katie's Coco Chippies?

Don't you think you're
taking an awful chance?

Oh, come on, the FDA just
blows that stuff out of proportion.

All right. Come ahead.

Now, don't forget,
tell the barge captain

not to dump them until
you're well out of the harbor.

Not so close. Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, remind him they're
supposed to be buried

in a lead container.

Thank you so much.

Goodbye. Thank you so much.

Well, we may have
lost the cookie account,

but look at the bright side.

At least we moved
30-million boxes

of the little time-bombs
before we got caught.

There goes a great American.

A true patriot.

Fire in the hole!

Four, three, two...

( upbeat jazz theme playing)