04x07 - Sadie Hogg Day

[bunniefuu]

He-e-haw!

You got to admit, cuz

Sadie Hogg Day is gotta
be of my favorite holidays.

Well, you ain't alone.

Never that many girls
get together in one place

in one time, I just got to
do some shoppin'. Yee-hoo!

April the first is April fools
day most everywhere else.

But in Hazzard,
it's Sadie Hogg Day.

That's when the women take
over the Hazzard Government.

So, the day before
when women draw straws

to see who does what.

Every man in Hazzard
with half a hormone

shows up to watch
government in action.

Poor, old Cletus,
he's missing all the fun.

Boss has got him
waitin' in the bushes

tryin' to nail the
Dukes on anything.

Which is sort of silly
when you think about it.

Since everybody knows
where old Cletus waits.

But it does keep
things kinda simple.

'Cletus is getting ambitious.'

Luke, you better put
that thing to the floor.

He'll catch us before we
see them girls. It'll ruin my day.

Yeah.

'Yeah, well, how do
you like it up there?'

Looks like Cletus is finally
gettin' up in the world, huh?'

Boss, you know somethin'?
I just love Sadie Hogg Day.

All those cute, little
heifers runnin' around.

I just can't wait
to pin my badge

on one of those little cuties.

I wish you pin your
badge on your flapper lips.

I'd like a little quite, please

when I'm taking my
pigs knuckle break.

Hush, Flash.

J.D. Hogg speakin',
and hurry it up.

'I'm in the middle of
eating my knuckle.'

Uh, Mr. Hogg, this
is L.S. Handley.

Chief Bank Examiner for the
State Revenue Service column.

'Oh, Chief Bank Examiner.'

'I'll be dropping by to see
you tomorrow at : pm.'

Well, that's damn
right neighborly of you.

We're makin' a regional
bank audit of all the banks

in this county area,
inspecting for any possible

embezzlement of county funds.

- You're alright, Mr. Hogg?
- Huh, yeah-yeah, I'm alright.

Just a-a little
morsel on my knuckle

went down the wrong way.

- I'm fine now.
- Yeah, good.

Well, I'll be seeing you
tomorrow : pm. Bye.

Yeah, bye.

Of all the cotton-pickin',
corn-shuckin', bean-strappin'.

Bad news?

No, it was a singin' candy gram.

Of course, it was
bad news, you dodo.

The State Bank Examiner is
comin' here tomorrow at : pm

to inspect the
Hazzard County books.

He's looking for
signs of embezzling.

Oh... oh! Embezzlement,
you know what that means?

Yeah, it means we're in deeper
than a fat lady in quick sand.

- Oh, we?
- Mmm-hmm.

Because he's
gonna find a shortage

in Hazzard County
funds of exactly $ , .

Oh, you mean the
shortage of funds?

Yeah, that means he's gonna
lock us up and throw away the key.

Boss, you keep
saying, we and us.

What you mean is you, don't you?

Rosco, every time I need
funds for my various enterprises

I keep dippin' my
finger in the county till.

And since all along, I've
been giving you percent

the percent of
my finger, it's us.

- All these young ladies.
- Yeah.

All out here to get
their man's jobs.

Hope Daisy draws a better
one than she did last year.

You know, I don't
think she's too happy

with that sewer cleaning
job she had last year.

Hello, boys.

Think-think-think-think.
J.D. Hogg just think.

Get them little brain
cells of yours circulatin'.

There's gotta be some way
or other out of this here mess.

- Bad news, bad news.
- Oh, what now?

Listen, those ladies out
there are getting rambunctious.

What ladies?

The ladies waiting for
the Sadie Hogg drawings.

Oh, the ladies waiting for
the Sadie Hogg Day drawings.

Yeah.

- The Sadie Hogg day drawing.
- I said, yeah.

God love you J.D.
Hogg. You've just done it.

Oh, God love you, what'd you do?

I just saved you and me
from years in the pokey.

Oh, I appreciate that. Oh,
oh, how did you do that?

Well, I'm gonna arrange to
have Daisy Duke's name drawn

as County Treasurer
on Sadie Hogg Day.

- Oh, she'll appreciate that.
- Yeah.

Why would you do that?
You don't like the Dukes much.

When the State Bank Examiner
gets here at o'clock tomorrow

he'll find that theme
missing county funds

is Daisy Duke's responsibility.

I get it and all that embezzling
will be blamed on her.

- Yeah.
- Oh, I love that, I love that.

Yeah, once Daisy's nailed well.

It's a short step to suck
in 'em two cousins of hers.

Bo and Luke Duke.

- You and I are off the hook.
- Off the hook.

- Once and for all.
- Once and for all.

I'll tell you, this is truly
a new high and low.

'Alright, everybody.
Everybody now.'

Look, I wanna welcome you all

to our annual observance
of Sadie Hogg Day.

A day named in honor of my
very own great great grandma.

The very first
woman in the south

to have her own cotton gin.

Of course, when she
ordered it, she thought

it was a new way of
makin' moon shine.

We're not gettin' any
younger down here, you know?

She's right, move it, J.D.

Alright, alright,
I'm hurryin' on.

The first one we're drawin' for

is honorary Boss
of Hazzard County

and that is my very
own, Lulu Hogg.

Alright, now I'm gonna
draw for honorary sheriff

of Hazzard County, and
that's Miss Clara Coltrane.

For honorary deputy, we
have, uh, Miss Emma Tisdale.

And now, what's maybe
the most important job of all

honorary County
Treasurer, and that is, uh

oh, ho, ain't that
nice, Miss Daisy Duke.

I don't believe it, I got it.

Doesn't it seem
just a little bit strange

that Boss Hogg is so happy
about her getting that job?

Alright, everybody,
now we're going on..

There's a show up in the
bank tomorrow mornin'.

- Keep an eye on our cousin.
- Alright.

And so Sadie Hogg Day
dawned in Hazzard County.

The hours the women
folk were gonna quit

runnin' things at home.

And start runnin' the
Hazzard government.

Which was bound to
be an improvement.

Uh, chin up.

Alright, alright. Come on.

Come on, here you go, cup cake.

Troop, salute.

Sheriff department's all
present and accounted for

except for the sheriff.

Alright, at ease.

And while it was Sadie
Hogg Day in Hazzard.

There was bank examining
day in the state capital.

Handley set off for his
visit to the Hazzard bank.

Boy, how would you
like to be in his shoes?

And while the honorary
County Treasurer was arriving

little knowing that she
was walking right into a trap.

Old Boss Hogg was
greasing the trigger

to make sure that
the trap was firm.

Oh, uh, well, we're
gonna have to put off

eating for just a
minute, Lulu sweetie pie.

We boss's got important County
business to do over at the bank.

Come on.

When the Duke Boys showed
up to keep an eye on Daisy

old Boss Hogg was
way ahead of 'em.

He told Rosco to keep
the Dukes busy until

he got Daisy to sign
for them County funds.

Don't you just hate it, when
somebody picks over Daisy?

We was only doing
miles an hour.

- I checked the speedometer.
- Will you just hush.

I'm not arresting you
for speeding this time.

Nothing so picky unit. I'm gonna
inspect your vehicle for smog.

- Smog inspection?
- That's it, that's it.

We're in kind of a hurry
here, if you don't mind.

Well, if you're in
such an all fired hurry

then you can help me
by popping your hood.

Pop it, pop it. Alright.

Isn't this exciting being
an executive, Lulu?

You're doing just
fine, Daisy honey.

All you got to do is sign
this here documents.

That's it and after
you finish that

you'll be official County
Treasurer for hours.

What's this last
thing all about, Boss?

Oh, that, oh nothin',
that's a matter of form.

That one makes you
temporarily responsible

for all the County
funds which are sitting

in the bank vault, dear.

It doesn't mean nothin',
just sign on the dotted line.

Boss, they don't
call me Daisy Duke

and County
Treasurer for nothing.

Now, seeing is believing.
Lemme see that money.

Well, you are upon your
toes, ain't you? I like that!

I like a sharp County Treasurer.
Come on, have a look, see there.

There you are a
$ , in County funds.

Snug has a bug in a rug.

Yeah, you've seen
it. Come on, that's it.

Boss.

Now, you've seen it.

Boss, I did not, I didn't
get to count it either.

Count it? Well,
there's no need to.

Look, it's just a formality.
This is Sadie Hogg Day.

Don't you know
it's all play acting?

Now, look, Boss Lulu
and I got to go eat.

If you don't want
to sign that paper

well, she and I'll just
have to get ourselves

another County treasurer.

- Right, Lulu?
- Um.

Right. And you can go back

to your last years job
of sewer commission.

- No.
- Well.

- Okay, I'm signin'.
- Oh, now you doin' it.

Yeah, that does it.

Oh, come on, sugar plum boss.

We gotta hurry before
they run outta lunch.

Goodbye, County Treasurer.

- Bye, Daisy.
- 'Bye, Lulu.'

He's definitely
trying to stall us.

It must mean Boss is
pulling something on Daisy.

Alright, one of you Dukes get
in there and start the engine.

I just put on my smog sniffer.

Yes, sir, Rosco.

You, uh, thinkin'
what I'm thinkin'?

- He couldn't be that stupid.
- Yes, he could.

Start the engine and let it
run for say , minutes.

'You dirty Dukes.'

One sound out of you, lady

and Sadie Hogg Day
is your funeral day.

Now, anybody that
don't think that Boss Hogg

was the one that hired
them boys to rob the bank..

Would buy a beach
property in Idaho.

I'll clean out the
vault, you watch her.

Let's go.

If you know what's
good for you, lady

you won't make a
move till we're long gone.

Somebody help! The
bank's been robbed.

The bank's been
robbed. Somebody help!

You were right,
something's going on.

Get after them. They
just robbed the bank.

- You alright, Daisy?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

They're getting away in
that black car. Please, hurry!

Oh, my goodness gracious.

Cletus, Cletus, come on.

Come on, come on, you dodo.

Did you see who did it?

Well, I've seen them
Duke Boys drive off it.

They're such nice
youngsters, I don't think they...

They wouldn't, Emma Miz
Tisdale, but seeing is believing.

It's a scramble!

Let her rip, turkey.

'Rosco, what happened?'

Never mind what happened,
Aunt Clara, just push.

'This is Deputy Cletus
calling Sheriff Coltrane.'

Cletus, this is your
superior officer, get on with it.

The Duke Boys, I'm after
'em. They just robbed a bank.

Are you kiddin' me? You sure?

Of course, I'm sure,
Miz Tisdale has seen 'em.

- Yeah, I've seen 'em.
- See, she's seen 'em.

Listen, Cletus,
you stay after 'em

'cause I'm comin', I'm comin'.

I'm comin' with you.

'Aunt Clara, you can't
come because there's liable'

to be sh**t' and hurtin'.
This is your sheriff speakin'.

I'm comin', this is your
Aunt Clara speakin'.

Well, I'd say right about
now the pot is really boilin'.

The Dukes are chasin' the crooks

and Cletus and Rosco
are chasing the Dukes.

And that examiner
fella who's heading

for his two o'clock meeting
at the Hazzard Bank.

Which about now is cooking
like a Labor Day fish fry.

'What do you know about that?'

They didn't get nothing
except the County funds.

Yeah, they cleaned them out.

They took every penny
of them County funds.

$ , .

Boss, I-I just didn't
have any time.

By the time, y'all
went to lunch.

They were here and before I
had a chance to lock it, it was...

'Oh, oh, likely story.'

I knew I shouldn't
have trusted you Dukes.

I'll bet she was even in
cahoots with them crooks.

Come on, Boss, you can't
go accusing Daisy like that.

'Well, I sure can.'

On account of this here
ledger speaks for itself.

Let me find that,
here, look at here.

$ , accounted funds

were sitting in that
damn bank vault.

For which, you Daisy
Duke, signed the paper

'making you
temporarily responsible.'

And so am holding
you personally liable.

Right, Lulu? Right.

'Oh, poor, Daisy.'

Ah-ha, what a haul.

We're rich, what the...

One thing about
working for Boss Hogg

is that he's very democratic.

He skins everybody.

There's nothing in here
but trash. We've been had.

This is called hot pursuit.

'There's a whole posse
after us. Let's get outta here.'

There! They threw something out.

That might be. Luke,
we better take a look.

Over there.

Alright, you. Alright...

Cletus, you dipstick!

Alright, you Dukes, come
on out with your hands up.

'What's wrong now?'

Oh, come on, Rosco,
another smog inspection?

Put that g*n away.
We got the loot here.

We got you for bank
robbery this time.

- Cletus, get the evidence.
- What are you talking about?

You saw them crooks
throw the stuff in the bushes.

'Yeah, the real crooks
are getting away.'

We got you cold
chicken... turkey this time.

- See, we got a witness.
- Oh, what witness?

Sorry, boys, I've seen
you when you drove away.

I hate to do this to you
and your nice Uncle Jesse.

Ms. Tisdale, you saw us chasing
the real crooks clean as day.

Oh, will you hush?
You are the real crooks.

Look, they got the
bandanas that they wore.

- And money bags.
- Money bags.

'And all this money that's..'

That ain't nothin' but trash.

Well, there ain't
nothing in there.

It's not trash, it's evidence.

- You better pick it all up.
- Yeah, you getting it all over.

Freeze!

'Freeze.'

Listen, I'm... will
you get this off?

'Rosco, I know there was only
trash in them bags. What else?'

They tied our ties
together and tied them

and pulled on it, like that.

- Oh, like this?
- Oh, Boss.

Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.

All you gotta do
is, put out an APB

on them bank robbin' Duke boys.

Boss, there is no
way that Bo and Luke

could've robbed your bank.

'I know, 'cause I
was there and I saw.'

They not only
could've, but they did.

And we got a
witness to prove it.

One who's a sworn
officer of the law.

Yeah. Ms. Tisdale, and she
was wearing her glasses, too.

Yeah, and Rosco, make
sure that you mention

that them crooks hoisted
all of the county funds.

, simoleons.

Which, you Daisy
Duke, are responsible for.

Yeah. Naughty naughty.

Boss, I got it. I got it.

'We'll really be ready for
when that bank examiner'

'comes at two o'clock.'

Ah-da-da-da. Zip zip.

What you say about
a bank examiner?

He said nothing that'll
help you save 'em Dukes.

Now, Rosco, I want
you to take Daisy Duke

'and lock her up immediately.'

I'm charging her with
being an accomplice

to this dastardly crime.

Right, Lulu?

Right!

You boys drive that
car like you done with it.

- We got a problem.
- What's that?

Daisy's in jail.

She's in jail? What's
she doing there?

Well, word's out
that she's responsible

for all that money you boys
are supposed to have stole.

But, Uncle Jesse, there was
no money. It's just newspaper.

- We was framed.
- 'I know that.'

Boss is up to something.
That's for sure.

You best go bail her out,
so we can hear her side.

Eh, you got fifty
thousand in your jeans?

- Dollars?
- '$ , .'

It's a little bit steep for
cousin Daisy, ain't it?

Well, Cooter heard that the
bank examiner's due in town.

So, J.D. wants to keep her
quiet so she won't spill no beans.

Well, he didn't figure on us.

Come on, we gotta bust her out.

Just hold it. This
bust out's on me.

So, the boys sneaked in to town

to drop off their
uncle at the jail

on mission Break Out.

- Daisy, how are you?
- I'm better now, Uncle Jesse.

I'll have you out
of here in no time.

'I'm sorry, Jesse.'

I feel as bad about
this as you folks.

But you know,
the law is the law.

Eh, you're a hundred
percent right, Emma.

'And do you know what I did?'

I brought flowers
for the prettiest

law enforcement
officer I ever did see.

For me?

- You.
- Oh, thank you.

And your perky, little hat there

and, uh, and that
sparkle in that badge

brings out those sparkle in
them big, brown eyes of yours.

Oh, Jesse, you've never
talked to me like this before.

I never felt this way before.

You know, Emma, I'm a shy man.

But you know something?

'I got a hanker for you, Emma.'

Oh, Jesse, you're making
me steam up my glasses.

But tell me more.

Now I know where
you and me got it.

I'd like to come callin' on
you Saturday night if you like.

Like?

Honey, we'll have a
wing-ding. Popcorn, butter milk.

Lot of swell records. Ah!

Oh, did you hear that, Daisy.

I finally landed
your Uncle Jesse.

Girl, what are you
doing out of your cell?

Don't worry, Daisy.

- I'm sorry, Ms. Tisdale.
- 'Come back here, Daisy.'

Emma, Emma, I'll
make this up to you.

I'll tell Rosco
it's all my fault.

An-and I will call on
you Saturday night.

Jailbreak! Jailbreak!

'Right there, boys!

'Daisy, come back here.'

Go!

Jailbreak! Daisy Duke,
you stop right there!

You come back here!
You're under arrest.

- I'll drive.
- Oh, no, you don't.

It's my car, I drive.
You stay here.

No way. At my age, you go
for all the cutthroat you can get.

You go for your cutthroat
with a shotgun. Just scoot over.

Now, wouldn't you just know it?

With women runnin' things

the garbage was even
being collected on time.

Which was slowing everything,
especially for the Dukes.

Friends, ain't nothin'
harder to deal with

than erratic efficiency.

Decent drivin'.

Hold that, will ya?

I cannot use that next December.

'Now, Rosco, come
on, we got to hurry.'

On account of that bank
examiner who's arriving at two.

- Where do you want this?
- Just a minute?

What is that?

- See there?
- Look at that.

That's a sneaky little place.

Look at that.

Boss, let me ask you something.

Why do you have
two bank ledgers?

Rosco, you better sneeze,
'cause brains are getting dusty.

Look, this here
ledger that we brought

is the official county ledger.

Which shows all the County
funds which are supposed to be

in the bank vault.

$ , .

- You got that? Good.
- Oh, I got that.

Here, this little darlin' with
a confederate sticker on it

is my private and secret ledger.

Which shows how much I've
been takin' out of the cookie jar.

Yeah, which is a lot.

- Listen, Boss...
- You got that now?

- Could I have...
- Oh, quit babbling.

Look.

I gotta check these two accounts
to make sure all them figures

match on the bottom line.

And then we'll rush
this official ledger

back to the bank before
the examiner gets there.

'Sheriff Coltrane.
Calling Sheriff Coltrane.'

'This is Deputy Cletus now.
Come in, Coltrane, come in.'

This is Rosco P. Coltrane.
Will you get on with it?

We're busier than
a long tailed cat

in a room full of
rocking chairs here.

'There's been a jailbreak!'

- Jailbreak?
- Jailbreak?

Duke guys sprung Daisy,
and I'm in hot pursuit.

Oh, give me that!

Cletus, you keep on their tail.

We will try to hit
'em of at the junction.

Roger, Wilco.

Come on, hurry. Hurry. We
only got less than an hour.

Come on! Hurry!

- And don't forget the ledger.
- What?

Forget the ledger.

I'll just put it back in this
little, sneaky, rotten place.

He's still back there.

Give him a shakin'.

Luke, I got my foot
to the floor already.

- 'What's goin' on about?'
- 'Danger. Women at work.'

Gee, I sure like
this kind of work.

Huh, there's Cletus.

'That's it, Cletus. We've
got 'em in a squeeze.'

- Bo, look out!
- Hang on, y'all.

Cletus, I ought to knock you
in to the middle of next week.

Yo!

Hot doggies! This sure beats

the sheep dip outta
the Saturday night bingo.

Cletus, go after 'em.

I'm-I'm gone.

Look here, it's almost : .

We gotta get back before
that bank examiner shows up.

So move it.

- If we can.
- You better.

Well..

Or else, I'll be riding
piggy back on a jackass.

And you know who that'll be.

- Did you...
- Move it. Move it.

Well, there's one
thing about the Dukes

they do stick together.

Now, all of 'em are fugitives.

About now, most
folks would cut and run

but not the Dukes.

They hold a family meeting.

Listen, I'm so sorry,
I got y'all in to this.

Don't worry about it,
Daisy, it ain't your fault.

J.D. Hogg, why, he's crookeder
than the devil's hind toe.

He's been kickin' us right
clean to the tail pipe with it, too.

Key to it's got to be
that state examiner

comin' to inspect the bank.

Maybe, he's been dippin'
his sticky little fingers

into the till.

I bet he's trying to
cover up for the shortage.

Yeah, but how can we prove that?

Well, we can't.

Unless he kept track
of what he dipped out.

Yeah, he'd have them
records hid somewheres.

We ain't gonna find
'em standin' around here.

Look, Uncle Jesse,
if you and Daisy

can head back into town
and check out his office air.

Me and Bo will go and
search the Boars Nest.

Meanwhile we get Cooter on
the C.B., he'd go to Boss' house.

We'll check with you later.

Well, back at the bank,
things are gettin' interesting.

The bank examiner is
doin' about fifteen minutes

to look at Boss' books

which he don't
know that he ain't got.

But even if he did,
Daisy would be in trouble.

Alright, alright, let's
get down to business.

Now, the ledger.
Give me the ledger.

Exactly which ledger
are you talkin' about?

The official county
ledger. Ain't you got it?

No..

Don't tell me, you left it
back at the Boars Nest.

I left it back there.

You told me.

Well, you see I was
chasing the Duke boys..

But I put both of 'em back in
that sneaky little hidin' place.

You put both of them back
in there? You knucklehead.

Alright, go on back there
and get it. You hear me?

Look, the bank examiner
will be here in minutes.

And if you value your skin,
you'll beat 'em back here

with that official
county ledger.

But...

And I mean, the
official county ledger.

Not my own private
and secret ledger

with a little
confederate sticker on it.

But you see...

You gonna stand there all day
clickin' your chompers or what?

- Get movin', will you?
- I'm gone.

And of course, who
was at the Boars Nest

just waiting to get caught.

You guessed it.

Too bad safe crackin'
ain't in our bag of tricks.

There you go, Flash.

Great. What a time for
somebody to show up.

I'll put you right down here
and you can be real comfy

while daddy gets the ledger.

This is a sneaky place.

Well, at least they're
finally one step ahead.

Look at that, there's
two sets of books.

Let's see now.

Which one of those is which?

Alright, come out of there.

Come out of there
with your hands up.

Alright.

Hold it right there.

One move out of you
and you're dead ducks.

Uh, Dukes.

One step forward
and slide back two.

That's Hazzard County progress.

Alright, you Dukes.

Now, I've not only got
you for bank robbery

but now I got you for
breakin' and enterin'.

Rosco, would you get
serious? We didn't rob no bank.

I bet the information in 'em
books there would prove it, too.

I don't know
anything about that.

You just hold it right
there till I call Boss Hogg.

'Uh, little-bitty buddy, this
is Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane'

'you got your fat little
ears on, come on.'

J.D. Hogg, here. And Rosco,
why in blazes ain't you here?

Boss, good news. Good news.

I caught these Duke
boys breakin' and enterin'

'the Boars Nest.'

'And I got 'em
prisoner. Come back.'

Oh, alright, alright. Good work.

You drag 'em in.

And then you get right back
here with that official county

"You know what."

- I don't know what.
- 'Yeah, you know what.'

'For the, "You know who."'

'The man who's getting here
to the bank at two o' clock.'

Oh, yes.

That's a big fat affirmative.

See, now, I got you. I got you.

Rosco, can't we talk this over?

There ain't
nothin' to talk over.

Now, you just hold it
right there while I check

this, "You know what."

Ain't this yours?

Oh, freeze!

Dang it!

We should've grabbed
them books on the way out.

If we stayed there
much longer we could've

read 'em while we was in jail.

Let's call off Daisy,
Jesse, and Cooter.

Hey, I got an idea.

And meanwhile, look who's here.

Friends, now the cheese
is gonna get more buyin'.

Oh!

Rosco, you let them
Duke boys get away?

You just get your hands on that
official county, "You know what"

and bring it here on the triple.

- Now, move it.
- I'm gone.

Let's see, Flash.

Let's see..

Poor old Rosco.

With that sticker
missing he can't tell which

"You know what" is which.

So, he figured he
better bring 'em both.

How'd you like to
have him fix your car?

'Mr. Handley.'

Oh, Mr. Handley. Mr. Handley.

Welcome to Hazzard
County and to our humble

not to mention
honest little bank.

My name is Hogg.

J.D. Hogg.

Jefferson Davis Hogg.

At your service.

Oh, and lookie here.

This is my charming,
adorable wife Lulu.

Lulu Hogg.

Oh, uh, sweetie cake.

Why don't you just
go and get Mr. Handley

some of your luscious bonbons?

Ooh, alright.

Well, I'm not interested
in bonbons, Mr. Hogg.

I want to see your ledger
for the county funds.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

My ledger..

But why ain't you interested
in bonbons, Mr. Handley?

I think you'd really like them.

I want to see the ledger.

'That's right, Uncle Jesse.'

'That state bank examiner
ought to be there by now.'

'You and Daisy see if
you can get a chance'

'to talk to him?'

Right, Luke.

Daisy and I'll see if we
can catch him on the QT.

In the meantime,
you boys be careful.

- You hear?
- You got it.

Well, this sure is a
nice change of pace

us setting the trap for Rosco.

Yeah, since we
know the hidin' place

Rosco's bound to have
both sets of ledgers.

If we get hold of
that phony ledger

maybe we can send
Boss to jail instead of us.

'Speak of the devil.'

Hit it.

Flash, it's those Duke boys.

Listen, you know
what you gotta do?

You gotta guard those
books with your life.

So, that means...

The ledger, Hogg. The ledger.

J.D., Rosco's calling
you on the C.B.

Oh, Rosco.

Excuse me, sir.

Sheriff Rosco P.
Coltrane is calling me.

A commissioner's
work is never done.

Just wait a minute,
Hogg. I wanna...

You must have a bon-bon.

Rosco, where in
tarnation are you at?

You won't believe this, but
those Duke boys are chasing me.

They're chasing you?

'Alright, alright,
they must be after'

'my private and secret, "You
know what". Listen, Rosco.'

We can't afford to
take any more chances.

So I'll tell you what.

You head out to
the town incinerator

and you burn my private
and secret, "You know what."

You got that?

Then bring that official county,
"You know what" back here fast.

I can't stall this examiner
fellow much longer.

Boss, there's one
little problem, you see.

I don't know which one of
those, "You know what" is which

because that little rubber
flag done come off of it.

Rosco, so help me.

Alright, alright,
listen, listen.

I'll head out and meet you
at the incinerator, right away.

Just shake them
Duke boys off your tail.

Sounds like they're gonna
try and burn that phony ledger.

We better stop 'em.

- Now, you look here, Hogg...
- Oh, excuse me, sir.

I'll be back in a jiffy.
Important county business.

It's a matter of life
and death. Mine!

Where's my car?

'There he is. Over there.'

- Yeah, come on.
- I'm comin'.

- I'm comin' with you.
- No, no.

Alright, get in.

Stop! Come back here, Hogg.

Mr. Examiner, we're the Dukes.

If you want to get to the bottom
of this thing, you come with us.

- Come on.
- Let's go.

Onto 'em jail breakin' Dukes.

'Let's go get 'em.'

'Hold on there. Get
back here, both of ya.'

What do you think you're doing?

Working off, sonny. This
time I'm doing the driving.

No!

Baby, put the
peddle to the medal.

Alright, General,
it's up to you now.

'Yahoo!'

We must be going
through a tunnel.

Get out of the way. Move it.

Yahoo!

Incinerator!

He's going for the
incinerator. We must cut him.

Now, here she comes.

Yahoo!

Go on! Go on!

Whoa!

'Yee-haw!'

'Yahoo!'

Flash, I guess, we don't
have time to wait for Boss.

'Which one do you
think is the phony?'

You're no help.

Eenie, meenie, miney, moe..

- 'Rosco... '
- Bad news! Bad news!

It's too late.

Get me out of here. Let me out

Wait here, there's one more.

There it is.

Hey, Flash.

Fingers crossed, Luke.

'Yahoo!'

- Ain't this fun?
- We're here, Boss.

Rosco. Rosco. Cletus. Cletus.

'Arrest them Dukes.'

And I mean, all of 'em,
the whole caboodle.

Mr. Handley. Mr. Handley!

'Well, you sure do
get around, don't you?'

I'm glad you're here to see
what I have to put up with

in Hazzard County.

These Dukes here. Why,
they're guilty of bank robbery.

Impersonatin', not to
mention, jail breaking.

Hogg, where is the bank
ledger for the county funds?

Hmm?

It's right here, Mr. Handley.

Let's go.

You did burn that
ledger, didn't you?

Are you kidding me?
Look in there, see?

Mr. Handley, I think
you'll find everything

in proper order in that ledger.

That's a $ , in
Hazzard County, county funds

which were recorded
as being in our bank vault

until they was grabbed
by this bunch of thugs.

The Duke g*ng.

Now, just a minute, J.D.
You can't go accusing us.

Well, I sure can, on
account of figures don't lie.

No, they sure don't.
It says right here.

"Six thousand dollars

"The Hogg Building
Construction Company.

'"Thirty seven hundred dollars'

'"Hogg Frozen
Fritters Incorporated.'

'Now, wait a minute.'

'"Eighty one
hundred dollars for'

Hogg International
Shipping Incorporated."

Let me see that.

Moron, well, listen, you
burned the wrong ledger.

Listen, I told you, I didn't know
which was which and which..

I had to go Eenie, meenie.

I'll Eenie, meenie you!

'Mr. Handley.' Mr. Handley, sir.

Don't pay attention
to that old ledger.

And just then,
after all these years

Lulu still don't see
Boss for what he is.

Right, Lulu?

Wrong!

Ain't that wonderful?

And so, to stay out of jail, Boss
had to make up every penny

of that missing money
out of his own fat pocket.

Even though the
Dukes were all clear

Jesse was in worse
trouble trying to escape

from Miz Tisdale.

Bo and Luke managed
to get further involved

in civic affairs on
Sadie Hogg Day.

And being true to his words

Ol' Jesse had his
work cut out for him.

He took Miz Tisdale to
the Hazzard hoedown.

And he don't even
know how to dance.