03x23 - The Canterbury Crock

[bunniefuu]

A widow's rare vase
makes a hog out of Boss...

Lock up them Duke boys.

And trouble for the Dukes.

Holy mackerel!

Hang on.

No! Don't go backwards!

When you see the
Dukes firewalling...

either they're being
chased or helping somebody.

Well, they ain't being chased.

Uncle Jesse...

how much you figure Widow
Partridge is gonna make...

with this barn sale?

Maybe enough to pay off
the mortgage to J.D. Hogg.

Really? That much?

Now old Simon, he was
pretty savvy when it come...

to collecting them antiques.

He got quite a
good collection...

and it should bring a
hefty amount of money.

There isn't a whole
heck of a lot we could buy.

Not with $
between the lot of us.

Every little bit helps.

Y'all can tell that these
folks ain't from Hazzard.

Everybody in Hazzard knows
about that rut in the road.

Easy, you fool!

I haven't traveled
, miles unscathed...

to have you drive me off the
edge of some primitive road.

Sorry, Mr. Beckman.

years of searching, Maury.

Hong Kong, Moscow,
Paris, Cairo, Tibet.

To think the end of my quest
should come so innocuously...

in a little town called Hazzard.

That's $ , $ , $ ...

$ , $ , $ , $ .

Alright, here. $ .

That's $ , $ , $ , $ ...

$ , $ , $ ,
$ , $ , $ ...

$ !

Paid in full for the whole lot.

You Dukes are too late to
buy anything at this barn sale.

Unless you got a hankering
to just buy the barn.

Emma...

do you mean that you sold
all of Simon's goods for $ ?

I had to, Jesse.

Nobody else made me an offer.

And I had my
mortgage to think of.

All that stuff's got to
be worth times that.

Boss Hogg done snookered you.

Now, Emma, I'll just
take back that $ ...

and apply it as a payment
towards your mortgage.

Now then, you got just
three days to raise the rest...

which comes to
exactly... $ . .

Alright. Rosco!

I'm sorry that we
didn't get here in time.

We meant to come and
try to help you out a little bit.

Looks like J.D.'s
done bought it all.

Look at this cute
little vase I found.

What vase?

It's got all these pictures.

- That's pretty.
- Isn't that neat?

A little vase? I must've
overlooked that.

Emma, I'll give you $ for it.

$ ? Well, that vase has
gotta be worth at least...

$ .

Now, Luke, you know
that ain't worth no $ .

We only wish it could be more.

Why, it's just a dumb souvenir
that Simon brought back...

from England after
the First World w*r.

You can have it for free.

You can give it
to us for free...

as long as you take this
$ in cash off our hands.

$ !

Which I will deduct from
the balance of your mortgage.

Ain't no skin off my
nose if you Dukes...

wanna throw away your money.

Goodbye, Miss Emma.

Emma, we'll be getting our
crops in pretty soon now...

and we'll be able to
help you out a little more.

Until then, we'll be by to
check on you once in a while.

Thank you.

- Bye, Emma.
- We'll see you, Emma.

- Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

Catch you later.

I got an extra $ because the
Dukes wanted a piece of junk.

Oh, good.

Wait a minute.

Who have we here?

Beckman is my name, madam.

May I offer my
sincerest condolences.

I read of your husband
Simon's passing in...

the Nashville obituary column.

Thank you kindly.

What can I do for
you, Mr. Beckman?

I'm a dealer in
artifacts, madam...

as I understand your
late husband was.

Well, if you mean Simon
loved to collect junk in his time...

yes, that was him.

Junk? Well, yes.

I believe one such
piece of junk he had...

in his possession was a
small vase he purchased...

in the little village of
Canterbury, England?

That little old crock with a
lot of funny pictures on it.

Junk, just pure junk.

Well, madam, I'm a dealer
in junk of that nature...

and I'm prepared to
offer you $ for it.

$ !

Oh, my!

I sure could use
money like that, mister...

but I can't sell it to you.

$ ?

No, you see, you
don't get my drift.

$ , .

Let's get moving, Rosco. I
got business with the Dukes.

The Dukes? What
kind of business?

To buy off of them
that little vase...

they just bought off
the widow, you dodo.

Don't you get it?

If that fancy pants...

is willing to spend $ ,
for that dumb crock today...

maybe he'll be willing to
pay me $ , tomorrow.

- Now get moving.
- Get in the front seat, Boss.

Move over, Flash.

Dang, Rosco!

That gutter there
about two inches.

Not that one. The other one.

- Cut them here.
- Alright...

Don't this vase make
these flowers look pretty?

If you say there's a vase
under there, I'll believe you.

What you gonna do,
bring them to work?

I thought it'll pretty
up the Boars Nest.

It'd take a meadow of flowers...

to gussy up a place
like the Boars Nest.

- I gotta stop by Cooter's.
- Alright. Don't take all day.

That's enough about
flowers. Let's get this done.

Alright.

Hello, Dukes.

- Jesse.
- Hey there, J.D.

Luke, say, I just
came out here...

to get myself another gander...

at that inconsequential crock...

you just bought off
the Widow Partridge.

That cute little flowerpot
just took my fancy.

Why all this sudden
interest in that little...

"inconsequential crock"?

Well, after you left, it
just entered my head...

that that little vase would
go very handsomely...

with my Lulu's collection
of other flower vases.

Well, now, I didn't know Lulu
collected flower vases, J.D.

- That's right.
- How many's she got?

None.

Well, it's gonna be her
first. The first of many.

So, I tell you what, I'll
give you $ for the thing.

That'll be % profit for you.

- What do you say?
- $ .

Alright, why haggle?
I'll make it $ .

$ .

Alright. You drive a hard
bargain. I'll make it $ .

Is that a deal?

Vase is getting more
valuable by the minute.

We can't afford to let it go.

It's kind of nice having
something around...

the farm that you
can't afford to buy.

Alright. That's the way it is?

I'll just come to the second
reason why I came by here.

Right, and the
second reason is...

- What's the second reason?
- The money!

The money, yes.

Of course, I'm gonna have
Bo and Luke Duke arrested...

for passing these
counterfeit bills...

off on the poor Widow Partridge.

Let me see them
counterfeit bills.

Now, J.D., I'm not letting
these boys go nowhere...

with you until I see
them counterfeit bills.

Well, first, I gotta
send them to the FBI.

But on second thought...

I might just find it possible...

to forget all about this
little misunderstanding...

without prejudice...

if you reconsider
selling me that vase.

That's blackmail, J.D.

Alright, then.
Rosco, do your duty!

Right. Now just
wher-where are you going?

Now, boys, go!

Jesse, I...

- You're squashing me.
- You're obstructing justice.

I ain't obstructing
justice. I'm sitting on it.

And I'm gonna stay here till
you show me that counterfeit...

I just felt something
snap. Get up.

Help me up. I'm ailing.

I didn't mean to hurt your...

You didn't. I fooled you.

He fell for my act. I
should be on a stage.

Yeah? Well, save your bows
till you catch them Duke boys.

Come on.

I just love fooling
that old goat.

Get in, Boss.

I hope that dog's in
the back seat now.

April fool, Jesse.

Come on!

What's so valuable
about that dang vase?

It ain't as if it's
made of gold.

But I'd like to get a look...

at it before Daisy
gets to the Boars Nest.

Hello, Daisy, this here is
Luke. You got your ears on?

Come on, Daisy, come back.

Dang, she's probably
listening to that Waylon tape.

First things first, cousin.
We gotta lose Rosco.

Bad news, Boss. I
think we lost them.

We? What do you mean "we"?

What you should say
is, "I think I lost them."

Then maybe you
lost them. But I think...

- You lost them!
- I lost them.

That's it, Maury.

That's the car the Partridge
woman described to us.

They have the vase.

Now, stop them, Maury,
and I don't care how you do it.

Give them a warning.
sh**t out their tires.

Ought to be all
downhill from here.

No. Somebody's trying to
drive right up our tailpipe.

Was that a g*n?

Of course, it was
a g*n. Now drive!

Look out for that wagon.

You know, even a
bad shot could hit that.

- Hold it.
- Alright.

Howdy.

Look, you guys, just
what exactly is it you want?

That lovely little vase you
purchased this morning.

If you just hand it over,
we'll be on our way.

That thing sure is
causing a lot of trouble.

It has for over ,
years. I'll take it now, please.

If it was on either one of
us, you'd be able to tell, right?

You're welcome to check the car.

Maury.

You might have to use two
hands. It sticks sometimes.

Fisticuffs won't be necessary.
I'm a devout coward.

What are we gonna do now?

I think we're gonna
head to the Boars Nest.

It's about time
we found Daisy...

and see what that
vase is all about.

Thing was, though,
Daisy wasn't there...

being she had to make
a pit stop at Cooter's.

Cooter, I never seen
you so gussied up.

- Going to a funeral?
- No. Thank goodness.

No, I'm going to a
birthday barbecue...

old Stump Roundtree
is throwing for me.

- Happy birthday, Cooter.
- Thank you.

Why didn't you tell
me? I didn't know.

When you get to be
my age, you know...

Wait a minute. I do
have something for you.

Alright.

Here you go. Happy
Birthday from all us Dukes.

I don't think I've been given
flowers by a lady before...

but coming from
you, it's a real honor.

- It'll brighten things around.
- Sure will.

Happy birthday.

Thanks, Daisy. Thanks a million.

I'll get Bo and Luke and we'll
give you birthday spanking.

Drive careful, now.

I tell you that crock has
changed hands more than...

a riverboat deck of cards.

- You know what to do, Maury?
- You bet I do.

We can't go barging to see
Daisy with Rosco in there.

Wait a minute. Look over there.

Come here, Daisy.

We'll have to explain later...

but we gotta have that vase
of flowers you took to work.

I don't have it anymore.

It's Cooter's birthday
so I gave it to him.

- You gave flowers to a man?
- Yeah.

That's what he
said, just like that.

Let's get out of here.

- Thanks a lot, Daisy.
- We appreciate it.

A lot.

Bye.

The Duke boys.

Doggone it, Flash.

When you see a Duke
boy, you're supposed to go...

You're not paying attention.

Rosco is hanging tough
today. He knows all our moves.

He ought to. He's been
back watching us long enough.

It's time to show
him a new wrinkle.

You know, it never would
occur to me to do that.

Holy smoke.

That smarts.

- He looks alright.
- Leave it to Rosco.

That was a horrendous crash.

That's the bigger horrendous
crashes I've ever had.

I don't what he's doing
in the Duke barn...

but I don't think...

he's in there visiting Maudine.

He might, 'cause
that city boy...

ain't never seen no live mule.

Hey, Cletus.

Hi, Cooter.

Hey, looks like you got
laryngitis or something.

Your lips are moving but I
don't hear anything coming out.

I'm just figuring
myself a way...

to ask Rosco for a raise.

Well, I know two ways.

First of all, you could beg
and then, you can plead.

Yeah, that's about
the size of it, too.

It's terrible. Have you seen
the price of pork ribs lately?

- Yeah.
- I gotta get myself a raise.

I wish I could give
him something.

One time in school, I
gave my teacher an apple.

She let me outta first grade.

- Miss Crumbly?
- Miss Crumbly.

That won't work, though.
Rosco don't like apples.

There's gotta be something.

What about flowers?

I don't think old Rosco will
be too crazy about flowers.

They'd look great
on his desk, though.

They would, but these
flowers were given to me...

You know, Cooter, I
bet these would work.

If you really think these
flowers will get you...

a raise, you just be
my guest and take them.

- Thanks. I appreciate it.
- Well, sure thing.

You look good, too.

Now, I don't think
that's gonna work.

- Flowers? You give me flowers?
- Yep, it didn't.

Goldenrods! I tell you,
I'm allergic to goldenrods.

- But, Sheriff...
- You give women flowers.

- I'm sorry, Sheriff...
- You give men manly things.

Like a bottle of citronella...

or maybe a nice
pair of long johns...

or a real sexy pinup
picture of Minnie Pearl.

Well, Sheriff, I want to
give you a thoughtful gift...

so maybe you'd find it in your
heart to see your way clear...

to give me a raise in salary.

- So, that's it, huh?
- Yeah.

Shame on you, Cletus.

Thinking you could buy
me with a bowl of posies.

Well, it just won't work.

What in tarnation
is going on out here?

And what are you
doing with them flowers?

These flowers are for you.

- For me?
- Yeah.

I picked them myself.

Flowers?

- For men?
- They aren't exactly for you.

I thought it was
for your office.

I thought it'd make
it sort of flowery.

Alright, that's different.

That's mighty thoughtful of you.

What's the catch?

Well, I thought, maybe...

you just might possibly
find it in your heart...

- to give me a raise.
- To give you a raise.

Yeah, I thought so.
And the answer is, "No."

One, I don't keep my
hard-earned cash in my heart.

And two, why ain't you
and Cletus out there...

finding them Duke boys?

And with them, that vase.

Now, git!

You see, Cletus?

I told you, giving posies was
a dumb way to get a raise.

Now, git!

It wasn't my fault.
It was Cooter's idea.

Cooter!

What's up, y'all?

Trying to find out what
you did with them flowers...

- Daisy gave you.
- We need to see them.

Y'all came sneaking around
here to ask me about flowers?

Y'all do realize that
when they explain this...

they ain't gonna know
no more than they did.

I gave them to Cletus.

You gave them flowers to Cletus?

It seemed like the right
thing to do at the time.

I didn't know about no vase...

and the flowers covered
up the vase anyway.

We can't just go waltzing
into Rosco's office.

He'd lock us up.

Locking up. That's what I was
doing when y'all showed up.

What you doing with
that three-piece suit?

Old Stump Roundtree is gonna
throw me a birthday barbecue.

That's right. It's
your birthday.

Happy birthday, Cooter.

We should get going. We
told Uncle Jesse we'd check in.

- We'll see you later.
- Y'all holler if you need me.

Take care.

Happy birthday to me.

Wouldn't you know it.

Hello?

You and/or your family...

have in your possession a
vase you recently purchased.

I want that vase, Mr. Duke.

I want it very badly.

- Who is this?
- Don't talk. Just listen.

Your time to decide is short.

Now, if you refuse to
turn the vase over to me...

your farm, I'm
afraid, is expendable.

Now hold on a minute.
Who is this, anyway?

And should you need
proof of my intentions...

just wait a few minutes.

Hello?

Uncle Jesse, this here is Luke.

You got your ears on?

This has become a veritable
communications center.

This is Shepherd. Where are you?

We're down by Cooter's.
We're one step behind that vase.

Well, I just got a phone call
about that. The man said...

Well, now we know what that
fellow was doing in the barn.

- Uncle Jesse, you alright?
- My farm was expendable.

Uncle Jesse, you still there?

Uncle Jesse!

- It sounds like trouble.
- Let's go.

I don't get it, Mr. Beckman.

Why bring this Boss
Hogg guy into this?

I've checked Mr. Jefferson
Davis Hoggs...

credentials, Maury.

The mere sight or
smell of a dollar sign...

makes the man
completely bananas.

Come.

Well, Uncle Jesse, there's
no question about who did this.

- As soon as I get my hands...
- Now just a minute.

I know you're talking
about J.D. and...

I know he's broken
every rule in the Bible.

But even J.D. Hogg
wouldn't stoop low enough...

to jeopardize life and
limb over a dang vase.

- We ain't talking about J.D.
- No, sir.

Talking about
these two other guys.

Ain't from here. They're
three-piece-suit types.

They seem to want that
vase pretty bad themselves.

This pretty bad?

Sure, they took a shot at us.

Well, that's pretty bad.

I wonder what there could
be about that old vase...

that somebody would go
this far to get their hands on it.

I guess that died with
old Simon Partridge.

Simon kept pretty
good records, though.

We could find out
where it came from.

- Might be.
- It's worth a try.

- Let's get out of here.
- Alright.

You boys be careful now.

- Now, wait a minute, Mr...
- Beckman, sir.

You're saying that if I help
you find the little vase...

you're looking for, you're
offering me a $ , reward?

Call it a finder's
fee, Mr. Hogg.

Yeah, finder's fee.

I just naturally assumed
that you and the good Sheriff...

would be more capable of
locating those Duke boys.

Yeah, we are. Without a doubt.

So then, I take it
that this little crock...

is a mighty important
piece of pottery.

Sir, let's just say this piece
of pottery has a history.

Well, you know, finding
something of that value...

ain't gonna be as easy as
just looking under my nose.

I am sure that you, Mr. Hogg,
will have no trouble at all.

Well, before I agree to
your offer or disagree...

I need to know a little
more of that crock's history.

It all began over ,
years ago with Cleopatra.

Cleopatra?

When she commissioned
identical vases to be made...

the one intended
for Mark Antony...

Mark Antony!

And the other for no
less than Julius Caesar.

Do tell.

Meanwhile, Bo and Luke
were getting more or less...

the same information
out of old Simon's diary.

"According to that antique
dealer in Canterbury...

"the vase of Cleopatra
is supposed to bring...

good luck to whoever owns it."

"But the only good
luck it brought me...

was finding a good
woman like Emma.

"So I reckon it was
worth the $ I paid for it."

$ .

"Even though I figured
that whole Cleopatra story...

"to be a bunch of hogwash."

Say, you don't suppose
there's any chance...

that Cleopatra stuff
could be true, do you?

Could be. If it is, that
makes that vase...

worth a small fortune.

And to think I didn't even
believe it was worth $ .

Why, you Duke boys
are going to be rich.

Not us, ma'am. Even if
we find it before Boss...

or them other fellows,
we still figure it to be yours.

Besides, you need that money
for the mortgage, don't you?

Bless you, boys.

You may change your mind
about that. We ain't found it yet.

We better get going.

- Thanks a lot, ma'am.
- Thank you.

You bet.

We're gonna have to ask
Cletus what he done with it.

Ask Cletus? You forgetting
Rosco's looking for us?

You heard of a flag
of truce, ain't you?

- Do we have a deal, Mr. Hogg?
- Indeed we do.

My services as well
as the services...

of my civil servant
who services me...

are at your service.

Charmingly put.

Except, instead of
that $ , reward...

finder's fee...

I was thinking more in the
neighborhood of $ , .

That's blackmail, fat man.

No, Maury.

- No, Maury.
- No, Maury.

The fault is entirely mine
for having told Mr. Hogg...

the true value of the vase.

- Yeah.
- Therefore, $ , it is.

$ , , it is! You see that?

Alright. That's a deal, partner.

- Rosco.
- What?

Get me that special
bottle of elderberry wine...

I keep in the liquor locker.

My partner and I are
gonna drink on this.

Elderberry wine.
My goodness, my.

That doesn't go with
your suit, now does it?

There's Cletus.

Take this paper to the
courthouse and pay a fine.

That piece of paper you put
in that barrel right over there.

- Jesus!
- Don't let it happen again.

People ought to
have more respect...

for property around here.

Well, Bo and Luke.
Must be my lucky day.

- You're both under arrest.
- Come on. Put that away.

- You gonna try anything?
- No. Just put it away.

Okay.

I'm disappointed in you not
honoring a white flag of truce.

Catching you two guys, with
or without a white hanky...

just might get me a raise.

Have you seen the price
of pork ribs these days?

- Now, march.
- Hold on. Before we do that...

tell us what you did with that
vase of flowers Cooter gave you?

Oh, that. Giving Rosco
flowers wasn't such a great idea.

He didn't appreciate it.

He just hauled off and
gave them to Cousin Boss.

Alright. That's enough
chitchat. March.

- Pork ribs, cents a pound.
- cents a pound!

Come back here, you guys!

You said you weren't
gonna try anything.

We could walk and he
wouldn't be able to catch us.

Let's duck around the church.

We can get to the General
before he gets here.

Hold it!

Too many grits.

- You see him anywhere?
- Nope.

Lose something?

Cletus, did we catch
you or did you catch us?

More than one way to skin a cat.

We can keep our
hands down, can't we?

Sheriff, look here
what I done captured.

Cousin Boss hears
this, he'll give me a raise?

Wrong. In this office, you
don't get paid by the arrest.

If that were the case,
you'd owe us money.

Now, I'll take over and you
get to work behind that desk.

- But, Sheriff...
- Don't "but" me, Cletus.

Listen, I gave
you a direct order.

Flash over there obeys
me faster than you do.

See? One false move and
she will tear you limb from limb.

Now move into Boss' office.

- Alright.
- Sheriff...

- Alright, we're moving.
- I ain't pushing you.

- Alright.
- Look who I done captured.

You came through
like a lawman should.

- Well done.
- I appreciate it.

This could mean a
possible raise for you.

- A possible raise?
- Possible, but not probable.

Well, how's that
for fast work, sir?

When I say I'll deliver
the Duke boys, I deliver.

Gentlemen, I'll mince
no words with you.

We want that vase
and we want it now.

We don't have it but we
do know where we can...

- get our hands on it.
- You do, huh?

- As soon as we work a deal.
- What kind of deal?

Drop them phony counterfeit
charges against me and Bo.

Then you tear up
the mortgage for...

the Widow Partridge's farm.

The whole... Alright,
done. Is that all?

No, not quite. We want
enough money to fix our barn.

I'll give you enough
money to fix up two barns!

Where's the little crock?

- On your word of honor, Boss?
- On my word of honor!

- Now, the crock, where is it?
- It's right under your nose.

- There you go.
- There it is.

Alright, Rosco. Lock
up them Duke boys.

- What?
- Wait a minute.

But, Boss, you gave
your word of honor.

Yeah, but did I say, "Cross
my heart and hope to die"?

You didn't say, "Cross
your heart and hope to die."

- Yeah. Lock them up!
- Maury.

Nobody move.

I regret the necessity of
relieving you of my vase.

- Your vase?
- My vase.

But we're partners.
You promised.

Yeah, but did I say, "Cross
my heart and hope to die"?

He's right, Boss. He
didn't say, "Cross..."

It's his vase.

You know, I figure, as
bad a shot as that fellow is...

he'll probably hit the vase.

- Thank you, Maury.
- If you will face that wall.

- Yeah.
- Sure.

- You bet.
- Yes, sir.

Boss.

- Good day, gentlemen.
- Good day.

Double-crosser!

And now we shall take
our leave of you, gentlemen.

Should any of you be foolhardy
enough to come after us...

too soon, Maury here
will sh**t the first one...

who comes through that door.

I have no place to
go right this moment.

It's nice in here.

- Alright, Rosco, after them.
- Are you kidding?

He said he'd sh**t the
first body out that door.

I wonder where Cletus
is when I need him.

- No, you, after him.
- No, after you, Boss.

- Don't be so polite.
- After you.

Alright, you're
safe now, fraidy cat.

They're getting away. Come on.

Come on, let's go!

Stop scratching yourself
and lock up them Duke boys.

Get them out! Rosco, let's
go get them double-crossers.

They're probably
in Nashville now!

- Get in there.
- Alright. Now, come on around.

Come on. Did you see
which way they went?

Alright, gents. Immediate
seating is available.

Step this way like
nice little prisoners.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

- What do you mean?
- It was a heck of an idea.

Cletus, you ever know me
to have a heck of an idea?

I smell a good old
Duke shuck and jive.

Come on, let's argue
inside the cell, alright?

It was your idea to
run away from him.

How you gonna run away
from a gazelle like Cletus?

- Gazelle?
- Gazelle?

Gazelle.

Cletus, don't put me in the
same cell with him, alright?

Put me downstairs. I'm
liable to take his head off.

Take my head off?
Why don't you try it?

Alright!

Don't try to break this...

I'm sorry. I got carried away.
I forgive you your stupidity.

Thinking about it, I forgive
you your stupidity, too.

Alright. Let's go.

Y'all pay attention while we
figure out who's chasing who.

Now, that's them city dudes
that took the vase from Boss.

Come on, after them,
those dirty double-crossers.

That's Boss and Rosco
who took the vase...

from Bo and Luke
pursuing them...

who's pursuing both them cars.

And poor old Cletus
bringing up the rear...

pursuing whatever I left out.

The Sheriff's on our
tail, Mr. Beckman.

This is Dep. Cletus.

Afraid I got disturbing
news for you all.

The Duke boys escaped.

How can you let the Duke
boys escape, you dipstick?

Give me that. Cletus,
never mind the Duke boys.

We got other fish
to fry. Now, do this.

You break off and get yourself
over to Dry Creek Road...

and you set up a
roadblock for them...

fancy-pants city slickers
driving a black and green car.

I don't know about
this car, Mr. Beckman.

Turn off at the next
intersection, Maury.

We'll get to the county
line from the other side.

That's it, Rosco.
We're gaining on them.

Yeah, we're gaining.

That man is smart.

He's probably trying to
cut across the county line...

at Rock River Road.

- Uncle Jesse, got your ears on?
- Just hold it.

Uh, this is Shepherd. Come on.

Them fellers that
blew the barn...

are gonna cut across
the county line...

at Rock River Road,
Willets Corners.

Can you set up a
roadblock over that way?

Consider it done. We're off.

- Come on, Daisy.
- Okay.

We're overheating. We'll
never shake them now.

Then we have no choice, Maury...

but to get a car that
is not overheating.

Just do as I say when we
go around that next curve.

There's someone
in the road! Stop!

Rosco, is he dead?

On the contrary, Mr. Hogg,
he's very much alive.

Come, Maury, we
have a healthy car now.

Over there, gentlemen.

Dang!

Boss, what are we gonna do now?

We sure can't catch
them in that thing.

- Look.
- What?

Looks like we're gonna
take them Duke's car...

the same way yours
got took, won't we?

Is he dead?

On the contrary,
he's very much alive.

On the contrary.

Now, come on, Rosco.
Now we got the faster car.

Now, ain't that
just like Hazzard?

Just about time I
get things straight...

everybody's changed cars.

Now after them from now.

I've got the pedal to the metal.

Come on. There they
go. Don't lose them.

Nobody's gonna catch us with
that vase now, Mr. Beckman.

The vase! We left
it in the other car!

Turn this around quickly.

- Now where are they going?
- Follow them and we'll know.

Look who's coming back this way.

Yeah, the question is, why?

Looks like they
forgot something.

We got it and they don't.

- What are we gonna do?
- Drive.

- In this thing?
- As far as it takes us.

How long you reckon
that radiator can last?

Of course, it ain't one of
them there dinky foreign jobs.

- You know how to drive this?
- I'm doing good. I'm good.

Well, you ain't doing as
good as the Duke boys do.

Here they come.

What's Bo and Luke
driving that dang car for?

I don't know.

Watch my truck, you idiot.

That wasn't Rosco
in the Sheriff's car.

No, they're driving
the General Lee.

Let's go!

Now, Uncle Jesse, he
don't know who to chase.

So he's just
following the smoke.

Old Cletus never could
get the hang of roadblocks.

You get the feeling we're
leading some sort of a parade?

Yeah, but not for much
longer. The way that radiator...

is acting, we won't
make it up this hill.

Maybe they ought
to set up a roadblock.

- What happened?
- What are you doing here?

No! Don't go backwards!

Rosco! Stop this thing!

Don't go off the road
whatever you do.

Hang on.

Good thing nobody's
driving a semi.

Good...

Rosco, go get them.

Okay, hold it right there.

I'll cuff you and stuff you.

- Come on, Boss.
- I'm coming.

Alright, you double-crosser.
You hand over that vase.

And I mean now.

- You mean this one?
- Yeah.

I'll be taking that. Cletus,
arrest them Duke boys.

- You're under arrest.
- Just hold on, Cletus.

Them boys has got just as much
right to that vase as anybody.

It's theirs legally.

That's right. We
paid for it in cash...

from the Widow Partridge.

She'd testify in
court to that, too.

I'll buy it back off of you.

- Okay, how much?
- Name your price.

We'll need cash this time.

It's gotta be worth more.

$ , .

- $ , .
- $ , .

You wanna stay out of this?
It's between us Hazzard folk.

$ , ought to cover the
mortgage and the damage...

to the barn and drop all
charges against me and Bo.

Yeah, agreed.

Plus an additional $ ,
that will take care of...

Widow Partridge
for the rest of her life.

$ , ? You out of your mind?

$ , , and not a penny more.

Just wait a minute, Boss.

That dang vase
is worth a fortune.

And my price to you
now, sir, is $ , .

- Agreed.
- Agreed? Agreed!

You hear that, Rosco?

He agreed for $ ,
for this little dumb vase.

Oh, no!

On second thought, $ ,
sounds about right to me.

$ , . That's good.

That's a mess. Boss, I
don't know what to say.

Save it for my eulogy, Rosco...

'cause I think I'm
about to k*ll myself.

You!

Right this way, gentlemen.

After all the commotion
them two caused...

they figured to stand
trial for something.

Boss tried to talk the Dukes...

into giving him back his money.

But less the cost
of the new barn...

the Widow Partridge was
the one that they gave it to...

which took care of the mortgage.

One... and here's another.

And I got some change for you.

Okay. Change. Right.

- Thank you.
- And here's your deed.

The mortgage.

- You.
- What?

I'm gonna figure out
what you owe me.

- What I owe you?
- Let me see now.

Now, Boss figured it'd
take about years...

for Rosco to pay
off that vase...

if he gave him a
raise, which he didn't.

- You see that.
- What?

And that, friends, is what
happens in Hazzard County...

when they have a garage sale...

just to pay off a
little old mortgage.

You ought to see what happens...

when they try to raise
money to build a church.