03x19 - The Return of Hughie Hogg

[bunniefuu]

Not a lot of folks jog.

In Hazzard, most of the jogging
is done on four wheels or legs.

In this case,
there are six legs.

And two of them could stop
a Confederate cavalry charge.

Either Maudine's been
taking beauty lessons...

or Daisy borrowed
herself one pretty horse.

Now, Maudine isn't Jesse's
girlfriend, she's Jesse's mule.

It's old Hughie Hogg...

trying to sneak his
way back into Hazzard.

Hey, fellas! Isn't he pretty?

- Meet Country Boy.
- Where did you get him?

I'm exercising him for
Mary Belle. Hold on, boy.

The Dukes!

You have figured out by now,
Hughie Hogg is Boss' nephew.

GENERAL LEE
Let's give her a hand.

Stop.

- Get the General close.
- Yes, sir.

Come on, pull up.

Come on. A little closer.

I'm getting it.

Be careful, she's the only
good-looking cousin I've got.

Come on, Daisy. Come on, honey.

- Alright.
- Alright.

You gotta stop eating
pancakes, girl. You alright?

Thank you.

- You okay?
- Yes.

Alright, Bo, ease it
down to a stop now.

- Are you alright, Daisy?
- Yes. Thank you.

That horse really
got away from me.

No wonder, with that Hughie
Hogg blowing a siren under his nose.

Let's go pound
some sense into him.

First we got to
catch that horse...

then we'll go get
Hughie, alright?

Alright.

Get in.

Hit it.

So, on behalf of all you good
folks of Hazzard County...

I want to personally thank...

this very generous young
man, my nephew, Hughie Hogg...

for donating to
Hazzard County...

this brand-spanking-new
used fire truck.

"Brand-spanking-new
used fire truck"?

I smell something and it
ain't the wind from the stables.

Hughie Hogg.

Hope you brought an ambulance.
You'll need it once we done.

Spooking Daisy's
horse like that.

It was an accident!
And I got witnesses.

Yeah, and if you lay
hand on my nephew...

Sheriff Coltrane is gonna
lock you up where you'll rot...

till the jailhouse
crumbles around you.

Or even longer. I'll cuff you
and stuff you. Now just scoot.

Alright. Hughie,
just remember...

you got anymore shenanigans
in mind against the Duke family...

you better forget them
'cause we've just about had it.

If you boys are so fired
up with spit and vinegar...

here's your chance to do
something useful for a change.

Like what?

Like joining the Hazzard
County Volunteer Fire Brigade.

You're wasting your time,
Uncle Boss. They're just chicken.

You wait just a minute. Who
you calling chicken, turkey?

I hereby volunteer both me
and Luke's services right now.

I suppose it is a good cause,
even though y'all are involved.

I imagine Uncle
Jesse will join, too.

You won't be able to join any
cause if you're in the slammer.

And that's what you'll
be if you don't scoot.

- You know what I'll do?
- Yeah.

- You'll arrest us for loitering.
- Cuff us, stuff us, right?

- Yeah, I could do that.
- Alright, thanks for joining.

That's very nice of you.

Everybody, the presentation's
over now, so you can go on.

See? They fell for it, just like
I said they would, Uncle Boss.

I'll have the Duke's out of
this town and in jail before...

you can pluck a
bald chicken bald.

And you know why I'm giving
you a second chance, Hughie?

Because you are the
meanest, backbitingest...

double-crossingest...

lowdown Hogg in history.
And I love you for it.

Well, you know. I
always try to do my worst.

One more thing. Your watch, sir.

Your wallet, sir.

I don't care what anybody says.

Anytime Hughie Hogg shows
up, it means trouble for us Dukes.

That's right.

Everybody's got a right
to a second chance.

Now maybe he
turned over a new leaf.

Uncle Jesse, a snake that
sheds its skin is still a snake.

Well, you could be right.

Breaker, this is a
Hazzard County fire alert.

Here's your chief.

Attention all volunteer firemen.

This is Fire Commissioner
J.D. Hogg speaking. Now listen.

There's a very bad fire
over at Zack Wheaton's farm.

So I'm ordering all
volunteer firemen to hightail...

it right over there on the
double to meet my engine.

Over and out.

It looks like we're gonna
get four birds with one stone.

- Hughie? Nephew Boss to you.
- Nephew Boss to me.

Now let's get this shine
stashed in the house, now.

The reason Boss knew there
was a fire at Zack's farm...

he told Zack to
set it. Zack did it...

because Boss held his mortgage.

Don't power corrupt
something terrible?

No! Sorry, folks.
Just a false alarm.

But maybe we'll get lucky
and have a real fire next time.

Meanwhile, I wanna thank
y'all for rising to the occasion...

and getting here so quick.

Just go home, now. That's all.
There's nothing more. Go away.

Bye, now.

- I don't like the smell of this.
- That makes three of us.

He didn't call us out here on
a wild goose chase for nothing.

- Let's get home.
- He's up to something.

Bo, if you get your hands
off the food, I'll say grace.

Lord, we thank you for this
bounteous table placed here.

- Amen.
- Amen.

Y'all don't reckon
that's another fire?

It's Rosco and Cletus.

How come he always arrives
between blessings and vittles?

Daisy, I got a warrant
to search these premises.

Sure, Rosco. We
got nothing to hide.

- Come on in.
- Well, we'll see about that.

Tell you what, you find
anything of value, we'll split it.

Uncle Jesse, I wish
you wouldn't say that.

Y'all don't mind if
we go right on eating?

By the time you find anything,
our stew is going to be cold.

Bo, I wouldn't bet
the farm on that.

Let's see here. Not
in the cookie jar either.

Well, let's just look
under here. There should...

Lookie, lookie.

Bad news. Bad news.

Naughty, naughty.

That must be -proof.

Well, looks to me like you boys
done violated your probation.

- That's a lie and you know it.
- We never saw that shine before.

There ain't been one ounce
of new shine in this house...

since I promised the Federal
Government I would make no more.

You old goat, I ain't arresting
you. I'm arresting these two.

Alright, Cletus, let's
cuff them and stuff them.

It ain't nothing personal.

I love this part.

Rosco, there's
no hard feelings...

No hard feelings? They'll only
get about years, I reckon.

- We'll see y'all in years.
- Yeah.

Go!

- What are you doing here?
- Hush! Just get up and get them!

Come on, let's go!

Wait for me, Wild Bill.

sh**t, they're sticking
to us like fat on a hog jowl.

Wait a minute. Have you been
giving Rosco driving lessons?

You're crazy.

BOARS NEST CLOSED
FOR PRIVATE PARTY

To Bo and Luke Duke,
long may they live...

in the federal pen.

And to Rosco and Cletus, who
should catch them right now.

That's the least
of our problems.

Watkins Bridge is still out.

This is one heck
of a time to tell me.

Now would you just look at that?

I don't even think the
General could jump that far.

You ain't gonna trick me into
making that jump and landing.

What'd I tell you, Flash?

Ain't nothing them
Dukes can do about it now.

Cletus, what're
you doing up there?

You know you scuffed my vehicle?

Get down here and
help me out of here.

Sure thing. As soon as
I head off Bo and Luke.

Wait. Cletus!

I presume you must be
Jefferson Davis Hogg?

I am. How'd you get in
here? Listen, can't you read?

There's a sign outside that
says "Closed for Private Party."

You'd be surprised how
many doors that opens.

"A.B. Stillwell, Chief Director,
Southeastern Section...

"Internal Revenue Service."

The Feds!

What would the Internal
Revenue Service want with...

an honest citizen
like Uncle Boss?

Let's put it this way:

When a man of his obvious
affluence pays a total tax...

of $ . over a
seven-year period...

something smells
rotten in the Hogg pen.

What do you mean by
"man of obvious affluence"?

I'm just hanging on by a thread.

You can hide cash,
but not real estate.

We'll check the county records.

If you own property worth more
than you said you've earned...

you'd better get
yourself a sharp lawyer.

Wait a minute.
You can't do that!

You can't do that! Why
can't he, Uncle Boss?

Why? Well, because...

While you're figuring
out the answer...

I've scheduled the audit
for : tomorrow morning.

Have a good day, Mr. Hogg.

What does he mean, "good day"?

This is the worst
day of my life.

While Boss was poor-mouthing...

old Cletus was doing
better than he should.

Considering who he was.

Dang, we got the tail end wet.

Buzzard on a buzz saw.

Ain't no way I can keep
up with them Duke boys...

If I didn't have me a shortcut.

Hughie, you are looking
at one dead Hogg.

When that IRS fellow
examines the county records...

he's gonna find it easier
to list all the properties...

I don't own than the ones I do.

There's no problem, Uncle Boss.

The IRS can't prove that you've
been cheating on your taxes...

if you haven't got
anything to show for it.

Put all your assets in someone
else's name till the audit...

- then you take it back.
- Yeah.

That's what I'll do.
That's a wonderful idea.

No. I can't do that. Because
who is this someone else?

There ain't nobody that I
trust to give it back. In fact...

the only person in this
whole world I trust...

you ain't gonna believe this...

is Jesse Duke.

There you go.

- Put everything into his name.
- Yeah.

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

No, I can't. Because Jesse is
the uncle of Bo and Luke Duke.

And when the chips are down,
blood is thicker than water.

I mean, when push
comes to shove...

blood is thicker than water.

That's who I can
trust, Hughie. You!

- Me?
- Yeah.

You don't know what
you're saying, Uncle Boss.

I've been lying and
cheating all my life.

- I might swindle everything.
- No, you wouldn't.

Why, remember, blood
is thicker than water.

It's gotta be you.

Look. We'll go right down to
the County Hall of Records...

and we'll change all the
names on the ledger down there.

But meanwhile, we
got to draw up a paper...

and sign, to make
everything legal.

Meanwhile, the boys
were still retreating...

like the Yankees at Manassas.

And old Cletus is
like a broken clock...

It's right at least
once in a while.

Hey, look out for Billy Ray.

Cletus, you fool! Trying to k*ll
me? What's the matter with you?

Friends, you think farming
ain't tough in Hazzard County?

Well, don't get hot. I'm sorry.

Looks like everybody's okay.

At least we bought
ourselves time...

to find out who planted
that shine in our kitchen.

I'll give you one guess.

Like they say, a Hogg
can't change his spots.

Especially not Hughie.

Get Cooter on the CB. See if
he can keep an eye on them.

Crazy C, this is the Lost Sheep.

Be right back, Chief.

Crazy Cooter coming back at you.

Hope y'all are
laying low, 'cause...

the entire Hazzard
constabulary is looking for y'all.

They ain't the only
ones on a manhunt.

You haven't seen
Hughie Hogg, have you?

Yeah. Him and Boss went into
the county building an hour ago.

Their cars are still
parked outside...

I reckon they're still in there.

Do us a favor and let us
know which way he goes...

when he leaves. We aim
to have a talk with that man.

I'll keep my eagle eyes
out. That's a big - ya'll.

Here.

Here.

Here. Alright. That's
the last one, Hughie.

Every thing I got in this whole
wide world is now in your name.

As far as the Internal
Revenue Service is concerned...

I ain't got a penny.

You may have never spoken
a truer word in your whole life.

Yeah.

Yeah.

- Alright, let's go.
- Here we go.

HAZZARD COUNTY COURT HOUSE

You sure been good to me.

You're a special kind
of guy, Uncle Boss.

Alright, then. See you.

Come on now,
let's get out of here.

Breaker, Breaker, Crazy
Cooter coming at you.

Y'all home on the Hazzard net?

What's up, Crazy C?

Looks like Boss
Hogg is headed home.

But little piglet Hughie is
going on Hopkin's Road.

Don't know what we'll do
without you. Thanks Cooter.

- How did the scam go?
- Exactly like I said it would.

You know, you make
a darn good IRS man.

- There we go.
- Just a minute.

Alright.

I don't know who that guy is.

If he's dealing with Hughie
Hogg, you can bet he's a skunk.

It's time we taught them
both some manners.

I say, country boy...

all you're gonna do is
spend time in the federal pen.

- What for?
- Moving shine.

Come on. Let's go.

That's old Hughie's minion.

Looks like old Hughie's
covered all the angles.

Rosco, ain't you gonna
listen to our side of the story?

I don't talk to jailbirds.

Especially when
their name is Duke.

You better get Boss
Hogg to come talk to us...

or he'll be finished
here in Hazzard County.

Did you hear that, sheriff?

Why, he's threatenin'
uncle Boss's life.

Like they say, blood
is thicker than water.

Old Boss is about to figure
out how thick blood can get.

What's all this?

What's going on
here? Let me out.

All my things are out here.
Look, here's my barber chair.

My billiard table,
my desk, my big fish.

Somebody's gonna pay for this.

I never heard of such a thing.

All my stuff. I just
don't understand it.

What's going on here?
All my stuff is outside.

And all this stuff is in here.

- Hi, Uncle Boss.
- Hughie!

What have you done here?

All these things must
have cost a fortune.

Of my money.

That's the way the
praline crumbles...

I mean, you signed
everything over to me.

- But that was temporary.
- Yeah, but I made it permanent.

No, you didn't.

- Yes, you did, didn't you?
- I did.

Why would you do
something like that to me?

When you called me to come
here and snooker the Dukes...

I figured I could make it a
double by nailing you, too.

I'm too greedy a
pig to just be a Hogg.

How could you do a
terrible thing like this?

Turning on me, J.D. Hogg,
your own flesh and blood.

- You're right, Uncle Boss.
- Sure, I am.

I'm sorry.

I told you not to trust me. I
knew you wouldn't believe me.

Uncle Boss, I'm terrible!

I just pray that the devil will
forgive me for what I've done.

Alright, Hughie. There's no
use crying over spilt shine.

- What's done is did.
- You don't understand.

I went and bit the
hand that fed me.

And I double-crossed the man
that made me who I am today.

- Namely, me.
- Yeah, and you're not mad at me.

No, I ain't.

I just can't be mad at you
on account of you doing...

exactly what I would've
done in your place.

Besides, I'm so swelled
up and proud over you...

I'm about to burst a gusset.

Really? Thank you. I
knew you'd understand.

I do.

Just like you'll understand...

when you give me
back everything you took.

I don't think I could
do that, Uncle Boss.

I'd really like to, but
I don't think I can.

Yes, you can.

On account of blood
is thicker than water.

Yeah, but money
is thicker than blood.

- What do you mean by that?
- You got nothing to worry about.

I'm not re-possessing
your house until noon.

You ain't gonna take my
house, too? That's the last straw!

You'll do it over my corpus
delecti. I'll go to the law.

No, you can't do
that, Uncle Boss.

If you admit to
owning any property...

that'll be confessing that you
cheated on your income taxes.

Dang!

I'm gonna get back everything
you took. I'll go to my friends.

- You don't have any friends.
- Then I'll go to my enemies.

I've got plenty of those.

I'll tell you this, you'll
have to bring an army.

You'll have to bring an army
to get that paper you signed.

I got three deputies guarding
it and I got more coming...

from Atlanta.

Not to mention this.

Let me in.

Solid steel.

Nobody can get
through a solid-steel door.

Except maybe them Duke boys.

Alright, Cletus. Here you go.

My own personal
check worth $ .

Now bail both these
boys out of here.

No offense, Cousin Boss,
but is this on the level?

You've been trying
to get them in jail...

Cletus, will you hush? Boss
Hogg knows what he's doing.

That's what you think.

If either of you boys
take one step out of here...

it'll be the last
walking you'll ever do.

Wouldn't you like
to just bust him one?

I mean, you could just
kinda, sorta, take your pick.

Wait. You got no call to hold us
here, Boss Hogg bailed us out.

Not with that check.

Your account belongs
to Hughie now...

with everything else
you put in his name.

Alright. It's true.

I did sign a paper giving
Hughie everything I own...

but it was only supposed
to be temporary.

Now Hughie's trying
to make it permanent.

It sounds like you ought
to be proud of Hughie.

He's just following in
your own little fat footsteps.

That's beside the
point. Look here...

I don't intend to take
this lying down, you hear?

You can take it sitting down
in a jail cell with them two.

Get out of here before I bounce
you out with that rubber check.

- I know where it is.
- Where's the keys?

Keys? Right here.

- Let's go, move it on.
- Yeah, alright.

When Lulu left for the farm,
she sent her skinny sister...

Hortense, to Hazzard, to
keep an eye on old Boss.

Boss had to turn to his oldest
friend and enemy for help.

Hughie did what?

Yeah. He swindled me, Jesse.

I signed away to him
everything I owned.

It was like taking
candy from a baby.

A fat baby. Wasn't
it, sweetheart?

I told Lulu before
she married him...

he was going to wind
up in jail or the poorhouse.

Jesse, speaking of Lulu...

I promised her I'd
take care of Hortense...

while she was at the fat farm.

So, look, I ain't
asking for myself. But...

could you please put her in
your barn till things get right?

Boss, we wouldn't dream of it.

Miss Hortense, you
can share my room.

J.D., I guess you'll
have to stay in the barn.

Me?

Keep your fat face out of
the mule's feed bag, you hear?

- Now wait a minute...
- Pick up the suitcases, fatso!

Alright. I'm doing it.

Be the first honest
work you've done...

since you got hitched to
my poor, unsuspecting sister.

- And this, too, dummy.
- Alright!

Okay, darling, where do we go?

I'll tell you one thing...

old Boss sure never had
any luck with the women.

Bo, take a look at this.

HUGHIE TOWN POLICE

If that pint-sized polecat ain't
renaming Hazzard after himself!

- Luke, we can't let him do that.
- No way.

Not even if it means pulling
Boss' fat out of the fire.

Hughie is more
dangerous than he is.

- We got to break out of here.
- Sure. Just like that.

- Lunchtime!
- Just like that.

- Hi.
- Look who it is. Hey, Cletus.

- Mind if I eat with you?
- No. Go right ahead.

It'd be a lot easier
if you came inside.

While we're in jail, we
might as well eat in comfort.

But, you can't tell Rosco,
otherwise he'll skin me alive.

- Not a word.
- Not from us.

Friends, I think this
one's going to be easy.

- That looks real good, Cletus.
- Give me a hand, Bo.

I'll give you a hand. Don't
think you can handle it alone.

Help! Help! The Duke
boys are escaping.

Glad you could handle yourself.

- Come on, let's get out of here.
- Freeze or I'll sh**t!

Damn! They almost made it!

If you wouldn't
have took so long.

If I wouldn't have?

He was bigger, the other guy.

Come on, you two, in!

You, out!

And I mean out of the
whole entire building.

'Cause you've just been
fired for stupidity on duty.

Who are you calling stupid?
I didn't just get beat up.

Go on!

You reckon the
hamburgers are still warm?

They look more
like meatloafs to me.

Y'all may remember that
when Boss gets upset...

he gets the nibbles.

Looks like old Boss'
appetite done cleaned her out.

You reckon he done
ate that goldfish?

No. It's a cookie bowl.

- Morning, Daisy.
- Morning, Boss, Miss Hortense.

You'll have to
excuse J.D., Daisy...

he's got the manners of a
goat, and the appetite to match.

Now, Hortense.
That just ain't true.

Hughie got me so riled
up, I can't eat another bite.

JOE'S HARDWARE
- OPEN Good. Good.

Meanwhile, Hughie was passing
his own version of the ERA.

HUGHIE'S HARDWARE
"E" for evicting.

"R" for raising rents.

And "A" for ambushing
the local drivers.

ONE WAY

With the boys in jail
and Cletus off the force...

the only one left to stand
up to Hughie was old Rosco.

When it comes to conniving,
Rosco was overmatched. A lot.

Hughie! You little weasel!
Where are you? Idjit.

There you are. Alright.

You little dipstick. You
know what I ought to do?

I ought to turn you over my
knee and blister your backside!

Why are you gonna do that?
Just because I sold your patrol car?

No! Yes! And I ain't
gonna forget that.

But mainly what you're doing
to my fat buddy, Boss Hogg...

and you won't
get away it, either.

- You're forgetting one thing.
- What's that?

You see, I'm boss now.

Not if I knock you into
the middle of next week.

- Rosco?
- What?

- Boys, book him, take him away...
- Who? Who's going to...

as*ault and battery.

Do you know who you're scuffing?

Don't take that! That's my
pearl-handled... That's pearl.

I'll stomp you
and kick a hole...

- Give me the g*n and keys.
- You're gonna make me mad.

Boy, I am a mess of
meanness when I get mad.

You've just scuffed me
for the last time, I'm serious.

Get in there, motor mouth!

Open the door!

Get in there and stay in there!

Bye, boys!

Looks like the cowboys and
Indians are on the same side.

- Where are we going?
- Scoot.

Hurry up!

Come on, they can't
be too far ahead.

Let's go.

They've got to be
hiding somewhere near.

Let's take a look in the garage.

Hey, howdy, gents.

Okay, Mr. Goodwrench.

We know the Dukes are
hiding in here somewhere.

- You do?
- Where are they?

Friend, be my guest. Feel free
to look around all you want...

just stay away from my truck.

Well, what do you know?

Looks like we just struck oil.

Cheer up, friends and neighbors.

At that range,
even he might miss.

Hey, whoa, hey. Whoa!

Okay, chubby, where
are those Duke boys?

They took a clunker and headed
South Road a few minutes ago.

Listen, now...

after you catch them, put in a
good word with Hughie for me.

There you go, Luke.

We got you covered.

- You alright?
- I'm alright. You alright?

We'd better get out to the farm.

We got to get back
that paper Boss signed.

We're gonna need few
accomplices for what I got in mind.

- Alright.
- Let's go.

Where in the world
have you boys been?

Daisy and Cletus have
been combing the hill for you.

We was in jail.
Didn't Boss tell you?

No, you didn't tell me.
Why didn't you tell me?

It slipped my mind.

But, look, it don't make no
difference now. Everybody!

We just have to forget
all about the past...

and join forces against
our common enemy.

Namely, my own
nephew. An ingrate...

who is robbing
Hazzard County blind!

You're dang right. He's so
dang, he makes you look straight.

If we don't get that
paper that you signed...

he's gonna be running
Hazzard County forever.

Daisy, think you could
decoy him and his deputies...

for us to break in and grab it?

- I could give it a go, sugar.
- I'll bet.

Wait just a
cotton-picking minute!

You're not going to break
and enter while I'm on duty.

It ain't breaking and
entering, you knucklehead!

It's hefting and hauling...

on account of that
paper's in my safe...

a safe that weighs
more than I do.

And it ain't going to be easy.

J.D. tells me that Hughie
put steel doors on that office.

- And there ain't no windows.
- We don't need none.

All we need is a phone
call to Cooter and Cletus.

Step inside, gentlemen.

- Ladies, too.
- Okay.

The Dukes, Rosco, and the
Boss are all on the same side.

I sure don't think I'd want to
be playing on that other team.

- Morning, Hughie, sugar.
- Sugar?

- I always thought you hated me.
- That's before I knew you.

Now, I have always
admired smart, forceful men.

And seeing that you
out-slickered Boss...

I know you are
both those things.

And probably a whole lot more.

You're learning fast, Daisy.

Hughie, being as how
I work for you now...

I can't say no if you asked me
to share this lunch with you...

in some nice, romantic spot.

I never mix business
with pleasure, Daisy.

Maybe we can
take a day off and...

go on a picnic. Come on.

I wonder what's keeping
Daisy so long in there.

Probably has second
thoughts about helping...

a crooked old windbag like you.

Oh, Hughie.

What'd I tell you? She's got
him eating out of her hand.

Hang on tight, Miss Hortense.

Just hold on.

- Hook up this thing, here.
- I don't know.

I'll help you.

Alright, Rosco, just stay put.

Whistle if you see any
trouble coming, alright?

Right. Drop it down, Cletus.

- Take her up!
- Take her up!

- You got it?
- That was fast!

Okay, baby, now
fire up for me, alright?

Sounds like something's
wrong with the air conditioner.

We don't have
no air conditioner.

Why don't you go
outside and see?

Give him a..

You're going for a little ride.

Roll him.

It's giving me a headache. Go
see what's taking Roy so long.

Howdy!

Come on, you!

Join your buddy.

Hold on!

Alright!

That there what
you're looking at is...

the only elevator
in Hazzard County.

Alright, Cletus, take her up!

Freeze, sod-buster!

Sod-buster? Listen, I wouldn't
try nothing with that g*n...

'cause there's a man behind
you who's got one just like it.

You think I just jumped
off the tater truck?

- That's what I was thinking.
- What's going on here?

Rosco, roll him down the
hill there, I'll go signal Daisy.

Hughie didn't know it, but
Daisy had him digging...

into trouble with his own teeth.

That was some powerful
good fried chicken, Daisy.

Well, thank you, Hughie
honey, my little dumpling.

Wait'll you see what I
made you for dessert.

I know what I'm gonna
have for dessert. You.

Come here, you rascal!

Now, wait a minute, I
don't understand this.

This picnic was your idea so
you could get me up here alone.

Yeah. Reckon it was.

Then why do you
keep runnin' away?

Well, I got my reason, sugar.

Like that there arrow!

Hughie? Bye!

Mommy!

Just to prove us
Dukes keep our word...

here's dessert.

- Somebody turn on the lights.
- Get in, quick!

All we have to do is keep our
fingers crossed for the boys.

I can't see nothing.

Hang on.

Ease her down, Cletus.

There you go.

Get her up, Cletus.

I'm gonna tie this thing down.

Tie it down good.
Cooter, let's fly.

We ain't out of the woods yet.

Nephew Boss from
Deputies. Got your ears on?

I got them on. But they're
full of meringue, so speak up!

The Duke boys helped
Boss heist your safe.

They got it on a tow truck
heading for Capitol City.

We're in hot pursuit.

You better be in hot pursuit,
because if we don't stop them...

we're gonna be out in the cold.

Can't you speed up? I can
run as fast as you're going.

Hang on.

We got company, gentlemen.

Tell Boss to get that
safe open quickly.

- We'll try to hold them off.
- Better hurry up, Boss!

Do something evasive.

Come on, Rosco,
you've done this before.

Help me find the right paper.

Hang in there.

Smashing into a moving vehicle.

That's a violation of a
if ever I heard of one.

Or is that a ?

Hughie just joined the party.

Tell Boss to take them papers
and stuff them in a cash bag.

- We'll pick him up on the run.
- Boss hasn't run in years.

He'd better learn to fly...

'cause we got no time
to stop and pick him up.

Alright, get in close.

He's gonna scuff his
fat little body if he jumps.

Alright, Boss, on the
count of three, jump!

- You want me to get me k*lled?
- One!

- Here. You do it.
- Two.

J.D. you do it or you won't
live long enough to get k*lled.

- Three.
- Jump!

- I'm going!
- Come on!

Hang on there, fat buddy.

Just hang tight, Miss Hortense,
everything is gonna be alright.

I'm gonna take a short cut
and see if I can cut them off.

I sure hope that this
paper is in this bag...

'cause I ain't got the strength
to jump back onto that truck.

You're too fat, anyway.

- They're headed for the river.
- Stick with them.

We'll corner them, for sure.

Look on the other
side of the creek bed.

I see it.

Keep moving. Keep moving.

But if they catch me before
I find that paper, I'm a goner.

Can't you go no faster?

Sure, I can go faster, but
the car can't, not on this track.

I think we got them. We're
gonna beat them to the bridge.

Y'all remember this place?
And what was wrong?

The bridge is out!

That must have smarted.

- I found it!
- Alright!

Get out of there.

What happened?

I think you just bought
yourself a ticket out of town.

Not to mention,
out of my will...

and out of my whole
family altogether.

Because, my fine
feathered former nephew...

I just found that paper which
I signed you everything I own.

Just watch this!

What do you think of that?

Boss worked all night
long getting his own name...

back on the deeds
to his own property.

With a little proddin'
from Hortense.

Hughie Hogg, you get out of
Hazzard County and stay out!

I don't want to see your
double-crossing face here again.

Me, neither.

- Until...
- You need him.

I need him.

Boss never did find half the
papers that he tossed away...

including about a
dozen mortgages.

Which meant that he couldn't
collect on any of them...

except Jesse's...

and he wasn't about to take
advantage of Boss' misfortunes.

With Rosco and
Cletus back on the job...

the truce between Boss
and the Dukes was over...

when Boss gave a bill
for damaging the roof...

and Rosco gave them
a ticket for speeding...

while being chased
by old Hughie...

which put everything in
Hazzard right back to normal...

which could drive a
wooden person crazy.