05x08 - Farnsworth's Fling/Three in a Bed/I Remember Helen/Merrill, Melanie & Melanesia/Gopher Farnsworth Smith: Part 1

[bunniefuu]

♪ Love ♪

♪ exciting and new ♪

♪ come aboard ♪

♪ we're expecting you ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ life's sweetest reward ♪

♪ let it flow ♪

♪ it floats back to you ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ soon will be making
another run ♪

♪ the love boat ♪

♪ promises something
for everyone ♪

♪ set a course for adventure ♪

♪ your mind on a new romance ♪

♪ and love ♪

♪ won't hurt anymore ♪

♪ it's an open smile ♪

♪ on a friendly shore ♪

♪ it's love ♪

♪ welcome aboard,
it's l-o-o-o-ove ♪

Look at that!
There it is --

the world-famous
Sydney opera house.

Isn't that something?

Yeah, of course,
but you said the same thing

the last time
we were in Sydney.

Well, we're here again,
so I thought I'd say it again.

Still seems like a funny name
for an opera house -- Sydney.

When you get to know it better,
you can call it "Syd."

Well...how do like being back
in Australia

on the sea Princess again?

Terrific, sir.

Fantastic.

Come on, now. Tell the truth,
captain. How did you swing it?

Well, when the line
wanted a "temporary" crew

to work this ship,

naturally, they looked
for the best crew they had.

And when they weren't available,
they took us.

[ Laughs ]
I'm sure glad they did.

Hey, Vicki, do you know
where we're going?

Lots of islands
in the south pacific.

Let me show you.

First we're going to go to vila.
That's in new hebrides.

Now that's being called
Vanuatu.

That's because they just gained
their independence

from england and France.

From there we go to the
Fiji islands and Suva --

that's the capital.

From there we go over to
savusavu.

They like that one so much...

All:
They named it twice.

And then we come back to Sydney.

Thanks, Isaac.
I, uh, had a wonderful cruise.

I'm glad you did
your homework, Isaac.

Let's go, Vicki.

I'll see you.

Hey, wait, gopher.
Wow, I didn't know that.

Did you know that the
south pacific islands --

I know.
You told me that last time, too.

I didn't even know
I knew that.

Hey, cutie.

Hi, doc.

I think this is gonna be
a tough cruise for me.

I know.
We all liked Tony.

I loved him.

Well,
we're here if you need us.

Thanks, doc. That helps.

Lovely harbor, isn't it?

Yeah.

Yes.

Merrill, what time are you
meeting Melanie?

I'm on my way.

Melanie?

She's the daughter of a woman
dad knew in the south pacific

when he was in the Navy.

And when I heard we were
going to the islands,

I thought it would be fun
to see her again.

So I made a phone call and found
out she had passed away.

But her daughter said she was
going to be in Sydney

and would love to meet me.

I wonder if Melanie knows
your father

almost married her mother.

Really?

I knew I never should have told
these two.

[ Laughing ]

No, I was just a kid
in the Navy, Julie.

A long way from home
in the south pacific.

I'm sure by the time she got
married and had Melanie,

she'd forgotten all about me.

Now, who could forget you?

Thank you.

Well, I'd better be
on my way.

I'll be back well before
boarding.

Julie, is everything ready
for Mr. Farnsworth?

Yes, sir, I made the seating
arrangements in the dining room

and the conference room is
reserved

and there's champagne and
flowers in all the staterooms.

Good. See you all later.

Bye.

Julie, is Mr. Farnsworth really
flying in his relatives

from all over the world?

Yes, and he's picking up
the whole tab,

including the cruise.

And my mother wanted me
to be a doctor.

[ Laughing ]

Eloise,
will you come along?

Yes, Mr. Farnsworth.

Did you remember
everything?

Yes, Mr. Farnsworth.

Tickets, passports --
I have everything.

I'll be back from the cruise
one week from today.

And remember,
I'm the one on vacation.

You're all still working.

Have a nice time,
Mr. Farnsworth.

Eloise, you're taking care
of everything now.

I don't want to come back
to chaos.

Everything's been
taken care of.

My New York town house?

The remodeling will be finished
in two weeks.

My villa in Rome, the paintings.
Have they arrived yet?

Yes. Two gauguins, one Matisse,
and three renoir.

Have those hung
in the guest room.

Stop fidgeting, Eloise.

Sorry.

Taxi, please.

Well, Jessica, with any luck
at all

it won't be long before you'll
be Mrs. William Otis Farnsworth.

I can't wait to meet him.

I still can't believe he'd cut
you out of his will.

I mean, after all,
you're his niece.

Believe it. We've had a grudge
against each other for years.

Ever since he ruined my
father -- his own brother.

Well, he did invite you
on the cruise.

Perhaps he's had
a change of heart.

Maybe he'll leave you
something.

Oh, he'll leave me
something --

broke, penniless, and out.

[ Sighs ] Well, don't worry,
marcia.

Once I land him,
I'll give you a finder's fee

that'll have you sitting pretty
for the rest of your life.

Thank you.

Stop fidgeting, Eloise.

I'm so sorry.

I'm really excited about taking
this cruise.

That makes one of us,
anyway.

Well, the relatives
certainly are.

So many of them accepted
your invitation.

They're not interested
in the cruise.

They're only interested
in impressing me

before I revise my will.

Cranston would have to go
and break his leg

at a time like this.

Now you're sure that you have
a substitute valet for me

to replace Cranston
on the cruise?

Yes, I've called
Mr. Pearson.

He promised to send along
the very best he had.

Stop fidgeting, Eloise.

Well, thank you, Mr. Pearson.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Golly, my first job
in Australia

and I'm working for
William Otis Farnsworth.

Lucky, lucky, lucky.

You'd better get right over
to the ship.

I'm on my way.

Mr. Bowden...

The ship's that way.

Oh! Thank you!

Mr. Bowden...

Why don't you take a taxi?

I'd rather take the ship.

Bye.

[ Australian accent ] I still
don't think it's right, Jenny --

my fiancée and her ex-husband
going off on a cruise together.

Now Martin, darling, I told you
you have nothing to worry about.

I hate bud now just as much as I
did when we were married.

Oh, thank you darling.
[ Smooches ]

Bud!

Martin, old buddy,

let me explain it to you
one more time.

Mr. Farnsworth
is a great believer

in the institution of marriage.

If he finds out that Jenny,

his favorite grandniece,
is divorced,

she's out of the will.

And if she's out of the will,

that means no money
for any of us.

And that means
you'll have to go to work...

For the rest of your life.

Well...

Have a good trip.

Goodbye, darling.

Martin, watch us
through the telescope.

We'll be the couple kissing as
the ship pulls out. [ Chuckles ]

Don't you dare
touch that woman!

You must be captain stubing.

I'm Melanie kulani --
Madeline's daughter.

Of course.
I'd recognize you anywhere.

Please, sit down.

Well, at last I meet
the handsome ensign

my mother's told me
so much about.

Forgive me for staring.

I just can't get over how much
you look like your mother.

I hope I do.

She was very beautiful.

How long can you stay?

Uh, just a few hours
at the most.

I have to be back
before boarding.

I'm sorry we'll have
so little time together.

Well, so little is better
than none at all.

Come with me, merrill.

I want to show you
the botanical gardens.

And we can see
the animal park there.

Well, Melanie, you certainly
showed me a lot of Sydney

in a short time.

I wish
it could've been longer.

So do I, but I have to
get back to my ship.

May I drop you somewhere?

No, thank you.
I'm close by.

I only have to pack my bags

and take my plane to savusavu
tonight.

Oh, that's one of our stops
on the cruise.

Good!
Then perhaps we'll meet again.

I hope so.

If not, at least we picked
a beautiful setting

in which to say goodbye.

It was wonderful
finally meeting you.

Goodbye, merrill.

Goodbye, Melanie.

Uncle William!
Uncle William!

Oh, hello, Hazel.

So good to see you.
Eloise.

Hi, frank.

You remember frank.

You look wonderful.

Whatever happened
to that weird boy of yours?

The one with the long hair.

Oh, yes, uncle William.

He cut his hair
and started college.

Good. Well, when he graduates,
see that he gets it cut again.

See you at dinner,
uncle William -- Eloise.

Bye-bye.

I'm sure you'll enjoy
the cruise.

Thank you.

So how was your meeting
with Melanie?

Fine.

Excuse me, could you tell me
where the veranda deck is?

Oh, yeah -- right up there.

Thank you.

I'll tell you
about it later.

Uh, sir.
Mr. Farnsworth.

He looks just like he did
on the cover of time.

And fortune
and newsweek.

And don't forget the centerfold
of millionaires monthly.

[ Chuckles ]

Mr. Farnsworth...

Yes.

I'm captain stubing.
Welcome aboard.

Thank you, captain.

My niece and secretary --
Eloise Farnsworth.

Stop fidgeting, Eloise.

Sorry.

Mr. Farnsworth, you're having
a large family reunion.

May I inquire if there is
a particular occasion --

a birthday,
an anniversary --

are you the captain,
or are you the ship's reporter?

Uh, that --
sorry, that was rude.

One of my less lovable
traits.

It is rather personal, but to
answer your question, captain,

this is sort of
an inspection cruise.

Yes, my wife died
a couple of years ago,

so I'm taking another look
at the members of my family

before I revise my will.

If I were a Farnsworth, that
would make me a bit nervous.

No, captain,
if you were a Farnsworth,

that would make you
extremely nervous.

[ Laughing ]
You're right.

But I must say, you look
virile and healthy.

Yes, I am.

But I sky dive, scuba dive,

race speedboats,
climb mountains.

My lawyer advises
that a man like that

should have his affairs
in order.

Excuse me, captain.

Oh, enjoy your cruise.

Marcy.

Hello, uncle William.

Uh, do I detect
from your tone

that you're still holding
that grudge?

Not enough to have declined
your generous invitation.

That's the way to handle
a grudge.

Don't let it keep you
from having a good time.

Oh, don't worry, uncle William.
I'll have a good time...

One way or another.

Let's get some fresh air,
Eloise.

Well, Jessica,

that was William Otis Farnsworth
in the flesh.

Think you can handle him?

Hmm. Well, you know I've snared
four rich husbands so far,

but with Mr. Farnsworth there's
a question in my mind.

What's that?

Well, whether he'll buy me
the wedding ring

at Tiffany's or cartier.

There you go.

Thank you, captain.

Okay, merrill, now tell me about
your meeting with Melanie.

If was fine.
She's a lovely girl.

Very much like her mother.
Quite beautiful.

I'm sorry I didn't go
with you.

[ Chuckles ]

Hey, how old is she?

Too young for you.

Melanie.

Melanie, what are you doing
here?

I hope you don't mind,
captain.

We had so much to talk about
and so little time,

I decided to take your ship home
to savusavu.

Mind? Of course not.
I'm delighted.

It was rather impulsive of me.

[ Clears throat ]

Oh, forgive me --
Melanie kulani,

I'd like you to meet
my dear friend Adam bricker,

the ship's doctor.

How do you do?

Pleasure.

You'll join us for dinner
tonight, won't you?

I'd love to. Now I think
I'll go and get settled in.

Nice meeting you, doctor.

Miss kulani.

It's incredible, Adam.
The same look, voice, walk.

Just like her mother.

It's as if time
had stood still.

If I didn't know any better,

I'd say that is the woman
I was in love with

many, many years ago.

[ Air horn blows ]

Julie: Attention.
All visitors ashore.

All visitors ashore, please.

Well, golly!

Let me help you with that.

I thought I was supposed
to have a valet!

I'm sorry. The agency promised
to send one over.

How many times have I told you
you can't live on promises?

[ Knock on door ]

[ Knocking ]

Do you want me
to answer that?

Oh, no, I'll get it.
I'm so sorry.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Mr. Farnsworth.

I'm Wayne bowden.
I'm your substitute valet.

Oh, well, it's about time.

I'm sorry I'm late,

but I had the darnedest time
trying to find this place.

This ship's bigger
than the town I grew up in.

'Course the town I grew up in
didn't have elevators, you know,

to take you
from one part to another.

We did have an anchor, though.

It was right there
in the middle of the park.

Fine.

Left over from world w*r.

Have you ever done this sort
of work before?

Now don't you worry your head
about that, Mr. Farnsworth.

Even if I say so myself,
I'm a very good valet.

Got any references?

No. That's the reason
I had to say so myself.

[ Laughing ]

You'll fill him in
on what he's to do.

I'll be up on the deck --
and stop fidgeting.

Sorry.

Are you Mrs. Farnsworth?

Oh, no.
I'm Mr. Farnsworth's secretary.

And his niece.

Well, golly.
That's what I call a great idea,

hiring one person
for both them jobs.

Hi, g*ng.

Hi, goph.

Hi, goph.

Tell me something -- who's part
of the Farnsworth family here?

Point them out to me.

Well, there's a couple over
there.

That's frank
and Hazel Farnsworth.

There's one...

And that's marcia Farnsworth.

That was my mother's
maiden name -- roz Farnsworth.

Maybe you're related.

Of course I'm related
to my mother.

Hey, gopher, do you know
who this guy is?

If he gave half his money
to the United States,

we could pay off the national
debt tomorrow.

Maybe we are related.

He's here
to revise his will.

I'm sure we're related.

You could try smiling
once in a while.

We're supposed to be
happily married.

I don't remember smiling much
when we were married.

Look,
maybe this'll cheer you up.

Why don't you just
try thinking

about all that money
we're gonna get

if uncle William never finds out
we're divorced

and remembers us kindly
in the will?

Now that you mention it, uh,

I believe I feel
a smile coming on.

[ Chuckles ]
To money.

Still toasting each other
like newlyweds, huh?

Uncle William. Hi.

Bud.

Sir.

I didn't see you
when we boarded.

Glad you could make the cruise.

Our pleasure,
uncle William.

Well, now, let's get right down
to business, huh?

Whatever happened to that son
that you were going to have

and name after me?

Uh, Jenny and I are still
working on it.

[ Chuckles] Who knows?
Maybe even on this very cruise.

Then what are you standing here
talking to me for?

Anyway, that's when I was
a sophomore in high school.

Oh, excuse me, Wayne.

Mr. Farnsworth likes his shirts
in the top drawer.

Oh, okay.

Anyway, I was a sophomore
in high school then.

No --
I think I was a freshman.

No, no,
I was a sophomore.

And I had the mumps, the
whooping cough, and the measles.

I guess you'd say
I was a late bloomer.

Really?

Well, I had the mumps,
the measles,

and the whooping cough, too.

Golly,
isn't it a small world?

We're as alike
as two peas in a pod.

I think we're gonna make
a great team.

Oh...oh.

Well, I guess even great teams
need practice.

That's his chair,
the one with the hat on it.

Now, remember,
he loves a challenge.

Treat him rough, and I guarantee
he'll come begging for more.

Excuse me, I think you're
sitting in my chair.

Oh?

Well, what I mean is...

You're sitting on my hat.

Now do you mind taking
your hat off my chair?

My chair.
And, yes, I would mind.

I'm sure the view of the ocean
is just as good

from any of the other chairs.

But I was sitting
in that chair.

You're being childish.

It's a pity you're not a man.

I was just thinking the same
about you.

Sir...

Your hat.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're now passing the island
of New Caledonia.

Well, thank you for showing me
around your ship, captain.

Perhaps you can return the favor
when we get to savusavu.

I'd be delighted.

Oh, I especially want to
show you

the little school
where I teach.

My children will be delighted

to meet a real American
captain.

It sounds as if you love it.

Have you been teaching
there long?

Oh, a few years.

When father died,

mother took a job as a teacher
to support us,

and I'm just carrying on.

Like mother, like daughter.

I hope so.

Well, if you'll excuse me, i'm
just gonna rest a while.

I want to look pretty
for the captain tonight.

Don't look.
Don't look.

Why should I look now?

I didn't look
when we were married.

Maybe that's why we never
had a son

to name after
your uncle William.

Bud, have you even spoken
to the purser

about changing our cabin?

I'm certainly not sleeping
in the same bed with you.

Well, I'll have the maid
come in

and make up
the floor for you.

[ Telephone rings ]

Hello?

Martin! Oh, darling,
what a surprise.

How are you?

Furious with myself.

I never should have let you go
on that trip.

Well, now, there's nothing to
worry about.

Everything's fine.

Better put your clothes on,
dear. Time for tea.

Yes, Jen,
put your clothes on.

Put your clothes on?!
Jenny!

We'll have to hang up now,
Martin.

She'll catch her death of cold
walking around like this.

[ Dial tone ]

Hello?

Bud!
That was a dirty trick!

Thank you.

Uhh!

That dress is so
old-fashioned,

I feel like I'm out
with my mother.

I know what I'm doing.

Uncle William's wife wore
lavender and lace all the time,

and you know how much
he loved her.

If this can bring back
some fond memories,

we'll be laughing
all the way to the bank.

[ Laughter ]

What do you teach at your
school, miss kulani?

English.

And what language do the
children speak, Melanie?

Fijian.

Really?
What does that sound like?

[ Speaks Fijian ]

What does that mean?

It means "the captain
is a very attractive man."

Oh.
Why, thank you, Madeline.

Dad, her name is Melanie.

Madeline
was my mother's name.

Yes, of course.

Sorry.

What's Fijian for "oops"?

[ Clears throat ]

It's so nice to see
all the family together again.

Hello, uncle William.

That dress you're wearing,
Hazel, reminds me of my wife.

Lavender was
her favorite color.

Oh, really?

Well, I guess
we can start now.

Marcia...
You look the same as ever.

Is that a compliment?

Well, I think so.

If you're holding your own
at your age,

that's good enough, isn't it?

[ Laughter ]

Back up.

I don't like people breathing
on me while I'm eating.

I'm sorry, Mr. Farnsworth,

but everybody's got to breathe
someplace.

Oh? Why?

It's worth a try.

No. It's not worth it.

Oh, come on, gopher.
Just think about it.

Listen, it's no big deal.

It is a big deal.

You may be related.

Why don't you just go on over
to Farnsworth

and introduce yourself?

I feel foolish.

How would you like
to feel rich and foolish?

So I said,
"that's okay with me,

but you better have three
of them."

Excuse me, Mr. Farnsworth.

How do you do, sir?
I am burl Smith.

I'm the assistant purser
here on the ship.

My mother is a Farnsworth.

What a coincidence.
So was mine.

[ Laughter ]

Sir, no, no, sir.
Really, she is.

Her maiden name
was roz Farnsworth.

And so, naturally,
I was wondering --

yes, of course,
you were wondering

if you were related
to the wealthy farnsworths.

Now I know what they mean
by a shakedown cruise.

[ Laughter ]

No, no, no, sir.
No, really --

The nerve of him.

Amazing what some
people will do

to try to sneak their way
into a will.

What happened?

Your idiotic
get-rich-quick schemes.

I made a complete fool
out of myself.

You know what
they always say.

What?

A fool and his money
are soon parted.

See that lady in the white gown
over there?

The fat one
with the frizzy hair?

No, the pretty one sitting alone
at the table for two.

Oh, yeah.

Golly, you're right.
She is pretty, pretty.

Go tell her that Mr. Farnsworth
would like her to join him
at his table.

Yes, sir.

When the lady comes over,

move down
to the end of the table.

Certainly.

There's no empty seat.

So, pick out a cousin
and sit on his lap.

Probably do you
a world of good.

She's even prettier
up close.

It's a funny thing.

Some people are prettier up
close than they are far away.

What did she say?

But some people look good far
away and sort of ugly up close.

What did she say?

She's not coming.

Why not?

She said you was a --

you remember "snow white
and the seven dwarfs"?

What did she say?!

You're grumpy.

She called me grumpy?

At least she didn't call you
dopey.

Excuse me.

No, please.

You stay here.
Give me the night off.

It's amazing.

Your sense of humor...
Your smile...Your laughter...

Just like your mother's.

I keep talking about myself,

and I know so little
about you.

Well, there's not much
to tell.

There's just Vicki,
the sea, and me.

I presume you're no longer
married.

No. I was for a long time.

And for a long time,
we were happy.

Then...

It's not easy for a woman
to be married to a man

who's in love with the sea.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to bring back
bad memories.

You don't.

You bring back good
memories...

Of a very happy time
in my life.

Well, I don't know how you're
feeling at this moment,

but this is becoming a very
happy time in my life.

I'm sure you have work to do.
See you later, merrill.

Uh, merrill,
remember when you said

Melanie was too young
for me?

Does that mean she's too young
for you, too?

Pull!

[ g*nsh*t ]

Pull!

[ g*nsh*t ]

Good. That's out of .

What are you talking about?
That's the first one I've hit.

That's what I said.
You've missed out of .

Look at 'em all down there.

Probably hoping
I'd blow my head off.

Yeah, boy, I'll bet with
a family as big as yours,

you've got relatives
you haven't even met yet.

You still trying to finagle
a way into my will?

Oh, no, no, sir. No, no.
I do very well here.

Pull!

[ g*nsh*t ]

Pull!

[ g*nsh*t ]

Pull!

[ g*nsh*t ]

Pull!

[ g*nsh*t ]

All right.

Pull!

[ g*nsh*t ]

If I were a target,
I'd feel pretty safe today.

Think you can do any better?

Couldn't do much worse.

Pull!

Not bad.
Pretty fair sh**ting.

Thanks.

Come on. I'll buy you
a cup of coffee.

Perhaps another time.

Here you go.

Two of my south pacific
island delights.

Oh, hey, thanks, Isaac.
Start a tab for me, okay?

I'm sorry.
I can't do that.

Everything goes on
Mr. Farnsworth's bill.

Oh. Well, then, write yourself
in a big tip.

Thank you.

You know, there's nothing like
being on a cruise

with the one you love.

You're right.
This is nothing like it.

Hmm.

Come here.

Hey, why aren't you two
lovebirds working on that son

you're going to name
after me?

Oh, well, you know,
uncle William,

all work and no play.

Ha ha ha.

Where are you two
living now?

Los Angeles.

San Francisco.

Two homes, huh?

Well, that's nice.

Looks like you won't need
any money from me, then.

Your technique
is just right.

Didn't I tell you?

The more you reject him,
the more he wants to see you.

Well, I hope
I haven't made him too mad.

Don't worry.

There's nothing like
a little contempt

to bring out the desire
in a man.

Gin.

[ Sighs ]

You know something?

With all his grouchiness,

your uncle has
a certain charm.

You just keep thinking that.

It's the proper attitude
for a blushing bride-to-be.

You gonna see him tonight?

No.

I think I'll just let him
think about me tonight.

Tomorrow when we reach vila,

I'll show you places tourists
never see.

I'd love it.
It's a date.

That's the second time
tonight.

What's the matter?

Melanie,
you're very beautiful.

I'd be lying if I said
I wasn't attracted to you.

The thing is...

I feel I'm in a dream,

back in the south seas

with the woman I loved
years ago.

Merrill, I'm not a dream.

I'm not Madeline.

I'm Melanie,
and I'm alive and real,

and I'm standing here
with a man that's real, too.

But I'm starting
to feel for you.

That's real, too.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Good morning,
ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Port Vila,
the capital of Vanuatu,

until recently known as
new hebrides.

Just miles north of vila,
on efate's west coast,

you can explore the natural
forests and jungle scenery

of lama mountain,

or you can take a tour of
luganville on espiritu santo,

which, during world w*r ii,
served as a key staging area

for U.S. troops advancing
on the solomons.

Enjoy your day.

Hi, Melanie.

Hi.

My dad's taking me
into vila.

Oh, I was gonna show him
around the island,

but we can all go together.

Great!

Melanie, captain's apologies.
He can't join you today.

He's got ship's business.
I'm sorry.

Well, it looks like we both got
stood up.

Well, I can still show you
around, if you'd like.

I'd love it!
Come on, let's go!

What is that,
bug k*ller?

This was
her favorite perfume.

Oh, frank, they have some
interesting things here.

What's that perfume
you're wearing, Hazel?

Um, blissful night,
I think.

I thought so. That was
Helen's favorite perfume.

Oh, really?

I have a suggestion.

Why don't we all go
our separate ways, huh?

Do your own shopping,
some sightseeing.

Be more fun for you
that way, huh?

Yeah. All right.

See you later.

Go ahead, marcia.

See you back onboard.

May I help you, sir?

I have many nice things,
all at bargain prices.

How much for everything...

The whole sh**ting match...

Everything you got here
on the table, huh?

Name your price.

, American dollars.

$ , , cash.

And I could still have you
arrested for stealing.

Sold.

Well, hello, Mr. Farnsworth.

Oh, miss halverson.

They got some nice little
doodads here.

Yes, they do.

This is a steal.
At home, it'd be twice as much.

I'll take this.

That's not for sale, lady.

Oh.

This.

That's not for sale,
either.

You see, nothing's for sale.

If you want anything,

you'll have to ask
that gentleman there.

He just bought out the place.

Oh, and remember, sir,
no exchanges.

You bought the whole store?

Well, I had to get
your attention somehow.

My charm
wasn't doing the trick.

May I?

Shall we try the ring, huh?

Fits.

Thank you.

Wrap up all the rest.
We'll be back.

Now, how about a little stroll
around the island, huh?

Don't tell me
you bought that, too.

Hello, uncle William.

Hi!

Well, I see he finally
got to her.

Wouldn't it be funny
if he up and married her

and we all got cut out
of the will?

Well, you have a warped sense
of humor.

You certainly do.

Well,
a warped sense of humor

is better than none at all,
ladies.

Golly, I can't believe I'm here
in the south pacific.

It's really beautiful,
isn't it?

You know, being in a romantic
spot like this

gives me an idea.

It does?

Uh-huh. Stand over there,
and I'll take your picture.

Pardon me.

Yes, sir.

I'm looking for my fiancée.

I mean, uh,
can you tell me, please,

which cabin Mr. and
Mrs. Bud boyer are in?

Boyer?

The boyers are in cabin
on veranda deck --

both of them.

Thank you.

[ Knock on door ]

Who is it?

Guess who.

Martin!

Right the first time.
Hi!

Darling, what in the world
are you doing here?

After that phone call,
I took the first plane to vila.

I couldn't stand it
any longer --

you alone with that man.

What man?

How dare you?

How dare you dress like that
in front of my fiancée?

You don't like my shorts?
I'll take them off.

No!

Look, Jenny, I can't bear it
any longer --

you here with this man
in this room, in this bed.

In this bed?!

There's only one bed.

I thought you said
there were two.

Good grief, we've been robbed!

Martin, honestly, now, you have
nothing to worry about.

Right. And now that you've had
your little visit,

you better start waving bye-bye.

The ship sails soon.

Then I'll be on it.

Darling, now, you can't.

Now, I'm sure there are
no cabins available.

There's plenty of room
right here.

You'll blow the whole caper and
knock us all out of the will.

Look, I don't care.

What's more important --
love or money?

If you have to ask, you don't
know much about either.

What happened, merrill?

I thought you had a date
with Melanie today.

Well, I couldn't make it.

Ship's business.
I had too much work to do.

Adam, I've got a ship
to run!

Melanie's a terrific lady,
merrill.

[ Sighs ] I know,
but it's just not right.

She's so much younger
than I am.

Oh, you can always find excuses
not to fall in love,

but all they can buy you
is loneliness.

Adam, you don't understand.

I understand.

I understand that my friend is
afraid of his feelings.

Well, I better go.

I know. You got a lot
of things to do.

Ship's business.