02x17 - Dinner for Jerks
Posted: 07/13/22 13:50
[upbeat music]
-Whoever gets this next jelly bean
in Munchy's mouth wins.
-I love jelly beans, so I win no matter what.
-How'd you get money for jelly beans
when you still owe me money?
-We didn't pay for these.
We found them on the floor at the bus station.
-Floor food is always free. Life hack.
-I'm here to collect your payment
from your job at the hair salon.
-Oh, about that.
Instead of money, I got paid with a new look.
-I want to be mad, but it looks amazing.
Well, tell me why you turned down the job
that came in today.
-How did you know we turned down a job?
-I made science kid give me
full access to the KidDING app.
-Why would he do that?
-Because I told him I'll
call him by his real name.
-I can't believe Fisher did that.
-Who the heck is Fisher?
-Jaget, you really don't need
access to the KidDING app.
-Yeah, we have a system that works.
-I have a system that works, too.
It's called you do all the jobs
until you replace my dune buggy you m*rder*d.
-But the job we turned down was from Crunchy.
-He tries to hire us all
the time, but he's the worst.
-He's this really rich kid
who's tried to ruin our friendship with Munchy
multiple times.
-Hey, I didn't ask for bedtime stories.
I asked why you didn't take the job.
Here's the answer.
You did. [Notification chimes]
-He accepted the job for us!
-That's right.
I now control the sidewalks and cyberspace.
Cyber Jaget out.
Ooh, ah. [Imitates record scratching]
[babbles]
♪ ♪
-The livestream has started.
The top science-based video gaming companies
are logging on to see the demonstration
of your video game, sir.
-It's showtime, people. Gloria, are you ready?
-I'm always ready. It's kinda my thing.
-Hey, everyone. It's Fisher.
Today, I'm gonna demo the game I designed,
"Periodic Table Takedown."
I was going to demonstrate the game
with my assistant Horrigan,
but he gets motion sickness.
-Something I discovered
on a most unfortunate bus trip to summer camp.
-So I'll be competing against my friend, Gloria.
-Yes, we're friends
who kinda sorta went on
a couple dates-type-things,
but we're figuring it out
and you don't really need to know all this.
Please take over, Fisher.
-Yeah, okay.
Let's play "Periodic Table Takedown."
I created this game, so she
doesn't really have a chance.
-She's about to crush you.
-Enough talking. Gear up.
Fisher has chosen to battle as cobalt,
a powerful, lustrous metal.
Gloria will be potassium,
a risky move considering its low atomic mass.
The fight starts now!
-Fight!
[grunting and impacts]
[energetic music]
♪ ♪
-Wow, you're pretty good at this.
-Yes, I am.
♪ ♪
-Sir, she appears to have the upper hand.
-Oh, don't be ridiculous. I got this.
♪ ♪
Whoa!
-And you're dead.
-What?
This never happened!
-Thanks, Fisher. Let me know
if you ever want to lose again.
-Thanks for coming. That was fun!
That was a disaster!
How could I have lost at my own game?
I'm gonna be the laughingstock
of the science-based video gaming community.
-Plus, you lost to Gloria. And you like her!
[imitates smooching]
-Shut up.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
-Welcome to Crunchyham Palace.
-We've been here before.
-In fact, we're the reason
the last two butlers quit.
-You're welcome.
-I'd love to engage you in conversation,
but it's time for Crunchy's grand entrance.
[gong rings out]
[fanfare]
♪ ♪
-Hello, Lex, Presley, and Munchy.
-Oh, hey, Crunchy. Didn't see you come in.
-I'm so happy you finally accepted my KidDING.
I don't know why you didn't respond earlier.
-The app's really glitchy.
-Yeah, it's so frustrating.
-I thought we were just ignoring him.
When they look at me like that,
usually I've said something wrong.
They'll tell me what it was later.
-Well, when I was you accepted the KidDING,
I gave Hildred the day off.
-It's my first day off in a year.
I'm getting my oil changed, doing my taxes,
and getting married.
-We get it, you gave your butler the day off
and hired us to hang out with you
so you can try to be friends again.
-Sweet, silly Presley.
I gave her the day off because
you're gonna be my butlers.
All: What?
-I said...
you're gonna be my butlers!
-We know.
You already made us change into these outfits.
-[groans]
-♪ I got, you got me ♪
♪ We got this ♪
♪ I like the odds when we're side-by-side ♪
♪ I like the sound of that ♪
♪ Oh, we're taking off, gonna do this right ♪
♪ I like the sound of that ♪
♪ And when things go up in flames, we're on it ♪
♪ 'Cause I got you, got me, we got this ♪
-Here's the thing, Crunchy.
It's not that we don't want to be your butlers.
-It's just that we don't know to be butlers.
-But I've always wanted to learn.
Both: Munchy!
-Listen up.
I'm throwing a dinner party tomorrow night
for some new friends.
-He's going to show off his magnificent table
that was just restored.
-It's from my great-great grandfather.
He threw a family out of their log cabin
and used the wood to make it.
-Sounds like your whole family is awesome.
-Hildred, don't forget to
teach them the butler dance.
They'll be performing it tonight at dinner.
-What's a butler dance?
-It's a dance my butler
does on special occasions.
Hildred, show them.
-With pleasure.
[grand orchestral music]
♪ ♪
-Oh, delightful!
I'll leave you butlers to your training.
Hildred, don't leave until
they're ready to take over.
-I'll get some supplies.
And tell my fiancé I'll be late to our wedding.
-This is the worst.
-No, this is perfect.
If this dinner party goes well,
Crunchy will have new friends
and he'll stop bothering us to be his friends.
-Okay, I guess we're gonna
learn how to be butlers.
-[posh accent] Indeed, madam.
Both: Ooh!
-So butler-y.
-The trick it to talk like a stuck-up cat.
♪ ♪
-Okay, sir.
I've run the diagnostic on your video game.
I've identified the problem.
-Good! What is it?
-It's you.
-What?
-Sir, there's nothing wrong with this game.
Gloria just outplayed you.
-But that's impossible. I created the game.
I can't lose to someone
who's never played before.
-We have a livestream recording
that proves you can, sir.
-Okay, here's what's gonna happen.
We're gonna alter the program
to help me beat Gloria in a rematch.
-[gasps] You want to cheat?
-Is it really cheating
if I give myself an advantage
in a game that I created?
-Yes.
-Then yes, I want to cheat.
♪ ♪
-I feel pretty good about this.
Hildred was a great teacher.
-I don't want to be proud of this job,
but that's a good-looking table.
-[posh accent] Me-ow.
-For the last time, I'm not interested.
And please, stop calling, Grandma!
What have you done to my priceless table?
-We set it according to Hildred's specifications.
-Then what do you call this?
-A fork.
-Yes, it's a fork, but it's
the wrong kind of fork.
This is for shrimp, and we're having scallops!
I'll just clear the table so
you can fix your mistake.
-Hey, what are you doing?
-Stop! That took hours!
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, no!
-Stop! Please, stop! Oh!
-You will grow from this.
♪ ♪
-Okay, Horrigan.
Is everything ready for
Operation I'm Going To Win?
-You mean Operation Fisher's A Dirty Cheater
Because He's Afraid To Lose To Gloria?
-I like my way better, but yes.
-All you have to do is give me the signal
by scratching your nose
and I'll activate the cheat code.
-What if I have to scratch my nose for real?
-I'll the know the difference,
sir. It's my job to know.
-Okay, I'm ready for my rematch.
I grabbed you something to drink
so you could wash the taste
of losing out of your mouth.
-I've got a feeling that this
time's gonna be different.
But also, thank you. That's very thoughtful.
-I'm fine. Thanks.
♪ ♪
-Okay, we've reset the table.
How long until the guests are showing up?
[doorbell chimes]
-My guess is right now.
-I'm on it. Let me get into character.
[clears throat]
[progressively more posh] Good evening.
[progressively more posh] Good evening.
[posh accent] Good evening.
[normally] I'm ready.
-I can't wait to see which
fancy people Crunchy invited.
-Could be billionaires, could be celebrities.
-Hello, dummies.
-[posh accent] May I present Tabitha?
-Tabitha, what are you doing here?
-I got an invitation to a fancy party
in a fancy neighborhood.
I'd have to be as dumb as you to turn that down.
What are you doing here?
Besides not giving me bubbly apple juice?
-Well, actually, we're here--
-Don't care. Just give me the juice.
-Okay.
[doorbell chimes]
-Butler Munchy, don't you have to get that?
-[normally] No, I propped the door open
with a fancy statue with no arms.
-Hey, Bub, where's the grub?
-[posh accent] May I present Big Tubby?
-Wait just a lickety split!
You're the awful kids that
cheated at the hot tub contest
I was already cheatin' at!
-You're eating here tonight, too?
-Well, I didn't come here to
watch a pig whistle showtunes!
[laughs] [notification chimes]
-It's Crunchy.
He says, "Hit the gong, you idiots."
[gong rings out]
-Greetings, future friends!
So glad you could come to my humble home!
Who am I kidding? It's not humble.
It's the size of a mall.
-He ain't kiddin'!
I took my Christmas card pictures out front!
-Crunchy, how do you know Tabitha and Big Tubby?
-We've never met.
See, when you didn't respond
to my KidDING requests,
I spent a lot of time on your
app reading the comments.
-There's a comment section?
-Yes, and the people on there are savage.
-So I invited everyone who
gave you the worst reviews
here tonight.
-Wait, what?
-Since you clearly are not
going to agree to be my best friends again,
I'm going to give an evening
so awful, you'll never forget it.
-So this whole dinner
is gonna be full of jerks who don't like us?
-That's right.
Revenge is a dish best served
by the people you're trying
to get revenge against.
[doorbell chimes]
-[normally] Oh, no. More jerks.
-Not jerks!
Both: Jerkelvoss!
-I can't imagine a worse combination of people.
-Fancy Jaget in!
-I stand corrected.
♪ ♪
-Jaget, what are you doing here?
-As your new boss, I called Crunchy
to let him know to be as hard on you as possible.
-He sounded super-mean,
so I invited him to dinner.
You know, 'cause I hate you.
-So now, I'll be here keeping an eye on you kids.
And eating fancy soup!
[slurping loudly]
[glass rings]
-Thank you all for coming.
We've never met, but we
all have one thing in common.
Bad experiences with these three.
-You're ding-dang right there!
[chuckles]
-Later on,
these three will be performing
an elaborate butler dance.
But for now, let's go around my beautiful table
and say one thing you don't like about them.
-What? Why would you do that?
-You're a butler, not a talker-backer.
-[clears throat] Hello.
I'm Dutch and this is my sister, Greta.
-And I'm Greta, and this is my brother, Dutch.
-These kids stole our gift card
after we beat them fair and square
in the sand castle competition.
-For the record, we won that competition,
but were disqualified.
-For the record, nobody cares. Now serve me soup.
-I'm Tabitha.
I hired these three to make a boy jealous,
which they did, but not how I wanted them to.
-[normally] So even though
you got what you wanted,
you're still upset?
-That's right. Don't try to understand me.
-Howdy.
I'm Big Tubby of Big Tubby's Tub-O-Ribs.
I used to sell hot tubs
and hired them to make a commercial.
Next thing I know, they force
me to give hot tubs to orphans!
Orphans!
After my hot tub store went belly-up,
I opened Big Tubby's Tub-O-Ribs
'cause Big Tubby loves ribs.
-I'm Jaget, and I have the saddest story of all.
Imagine the most beautiful dune buggy.
Now imagine it on fire,
screaming as it burns to a crisp!
Now stop imagining, because it happened.
And they did it.
-For shame on you.
-Hey, my dinner roll is stale.
-Oh, they're not for eating.
They're for chucking at them.
Join me, won't you?
-Wait, what?
-Well, I'm sorry--
-Ow, ow, ow, ow!
[laughter]
-Wait!
What is this?
-It looks like a drop of soup.
-That's right.
And it nearly soaked through the tablecloth
onto my priceless table that my ancestors built
from a stolen log cabin.
How did the soup get there?
-My guess is because Big
Tubby is eating soup with a fork.
-Hey, there's no wrong way to eat soup.
-You three are a complete disaster.
What made you ever think you could be butlers?
-You made us do it.
-You leave me no choice.
In order for you to learn to be proper butlers,
I'm firing Hildred and hiring you
to be my butlers full-time.
[notifications chime]
-We're not accepting that job.
-You don't have to, because I just did.
[notifications chime]
-Stop doing that!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
-I can't be a full-time butler!
I didn't even want to be a part-time butler!
-There's so much I wanna do with my life.
I haven't even been on a helicopter!
-I never got to go to Paris. It's in Las Vegas!
You can get a lemonade in a giant glass
shaped like the Eiffel Tower!
-And I've never hugged a dolphin!
What do we do, what do we do?
-There's not much we can
do. Jaget won't let us quit.
-And we still have to do that stupid butler dance
at the end of dinner.
-I mean, I will rock it, but
I won't be happy about it.
-Hey, wait. That's it.
We use the butler dance to our advantage.
-Yes.
We go on tour as dancing butlers!
-No, we use it to get Crunchy to fire us.
That way, we'll get out of this job
and there's nothing Jaget can do about it.
-How is dancing gonna get us fired?
Because again, I'm gonna rock it.
-Well, what does Crunchy love more than anything?
His table! We're going to destroy it.
But we have to make it look like an accident.
-Let's do it.
Boop.
-Boop.
-No.
Like a stuck-up cat.
[clears throat]
[post accent] Mm, boop.
-[post accent] Mm, boop.
-[post accent] Mm, boop.
All: Boop, boop.
♪ ♪
-Okay, we're live in three, two, one.
-Welcome back to "Periodic Table Takedown."
Today, we have a round two between me and Gloria,
who got very lucky last time.
-Lucky is finding an onion ring in your fries.
I kicked your butt.
-And the fight starts... now!
-Fight!
[grunting and impacts]
[energetic music]
-[gasps]
♪ ♪
You're about to go down.
-Yes, sir.
♪ ♪
-Oh, I've got you now.
-Jag-Jitsu prepares me for all situations.
[battle cries]
Yes!
-No!
-I worked on a celebratory
dance for the people at home.
-I can't believe you won again!
How is that possible?
-I guess I'm just better than you.
-I know!
That's why I had Horrigan
create a cheat code for me!
-You what?
-[chuckles uncomfortably]
I mean you got lucky again.
-I can't believe you cheated!
I've never been so hurt and upset in my--
-Oh, give it a rest, little missy!
-[chuckles] What's going on?
-Nothing. There's nothing going on.
-You don't tell him, I'm going to.
-Ugh, fine.
Before the first match,
I had Horrigan create a cheat code.
And I just used it again.
-Horrigan, you double-cheated?
-I couldn't resist the drama of it, sir.
Both of you doing the exact same thing,
and me being the only one who knew?
Dance, my little puppets!
-I'm sorry, Fisher, but Jag-Jitsu teaches us
if you're not cheating, you're not trying.
-I'm sorry for cheating, too.
I just wanted to impress those
video game big sh*ts online.
And if I'm being honest, I
wanted to impress you, too.
-Well, you weren't the only
one trying to impress somebody.
-Ooh, you two like each other!
[imitates smooching]
both: Shut up!
♪ ♪
-We finished first!
Both: Jerkelvoss!
-Oh, ding-dang it!
If I knew it was a race,
I'd have chewed with my mouth open to save time!
-You did.
-Oh, you're finally back.
-I saved you a roll.
-[chuckles]
-Sorry. We were just
preparing for our butler dance.
-Oh, delightful. You may begin.
[grand orchestral music]
♪ ♪
[energetic electronic remix]
What? What are you doing?
Get off my table!
♪ ♪
[wood creaking]
[gasps] It sounds like it's cracking!
Get off!
[wood creaking]
-It's working!
-Let's all jump at the same time!
♪ ♪
[wood creaking loudly]
-It's going down!
-You broke my table and souped my face!
-We're so sorry.
-We got lost in the music.
-Guess we're just not good butlers.
-Hey, Crunchy.
You look funnier than a necktie on a peach pie!
[laughs]
-Oh, you got a little something on your...
everything!
Both: Jerkelvoss!
-Oh, I think Soupface is gonna cry.
All: Aw.
-Soupface!
All: Soupface! Soupface! Soupface!
-Stop it!
It's not funny when you jerks are jerks to me!
-Disagree.
-This is extremely funny.
-I cannot believe you three.
-I only hired you so I can have my revenge,
but you messed it up 'cause you're such idiots!
-Hey, hey, hey! They work for me.
You can't call them idiots.
Only I can call them idiots.
-Thanks, bro.
-Quiet, idiot.
My employees will never work for you again.
Unless you pay double.
-Never.
-Then I stand by the first thing I said.
Let's get outta here.
Jaget and his g*ng of dune
buggy-destroying idiots out.
-Later, jerks.
-It's been awful.
-I'm keeping this suit.
-Whoever gets this next jelly bean
in Munchy's mouth wins.
-I love jelly beans, so I win no matter what.
-How'd you get money for jelly beans
when you still owe me money?
-We didn't pay for these.
We found them on the floor at the bus station.
-Floor food is always free. Life hack.
-I'm here to collect your payment
from your job at the hair salon.
-Oh, about that.
Instead of money, I got paid with a new look.
-I want to be mad, but it looks amazing.
Well, tell me why you turned down the job
that came in today.
-How did you know we turned down a job?
-I made science kid give me
full access to the KidDING app.
-Why would he do that?
-Because I told him I'll
call him by his real name.
-I can't believe Fisher did that.
-Who the heck is Fisher?
-Jaget, you really don't need
access to the KidDING app.
-Yeah, we have a system that works.
-I have a system that works, too.
It's called you do all the jobs
until you replace my dune buggy you m*rder*d.
-But the job we turned down was from Crunchy.
-He tries to hire us all
the time, but he's the worst.
-He's this really rich kid
who's tried to ruin our friendship with Munchy
multiple times.
-Hey, I didn't ask for bedtime stories.
I asked why you didn't take the job.
Here's the answer.
You did. [Notification chimes]
-He accepted the job for us!
-That's right.
I now control the sidewalks and cyberspace.
Cyber Jaget out.
Ooh, ah. [Imitates record scratching]
[babbles]
♪ ♪
-The livestream has started.
The top science-based video gaming companies
are logging on to see the demonstration
of your video game, sir.
-It's showtime, people. Gloria, are you ready?
-I'm always ready. It's kinda my thing.
-Hey, everyone. It's Fisher.
Today, I'm gonna demo the game I designed,
"Periodic Table Takedown."
I was going to demonstrate the game
with my assistant Horrigan,
but he gets motion sickness.
-Something I discovered
on a most unfortunate bus trip to summer camp.
-So I'll be competing against my friend, Gloria.
-Yes, we're friends
who kinda sorta went on
a couple dates-type-things,
but we're figuring it out
and you don't really need to know all this.
Please take over, Fisher.
-Yeah, okay.
Let's play "Periodic Table Takedown."
I created this game, so she
doesn't really have a chance.
-She's about to crush you.
-Enough talking. Gear up.
Fisher has chosen to battle as cobalt,
a powerful, lustrous metal.
Gloria will be potassium,
a risky move considering its low atomic mass.
The fight starts now!
-Fight!
[grunting and impacts]
[energetic music]
♪ ♪
-Wow, you're pretty good at this.
-Yes, I am.
♪ ♪
-Sir, she appears to have the upper hand.
-Oh, don't be ridiculous. I got this.
♪ ♪
Whoa!
-And you're dead.
-What?
This never happened!
-Thanks, Fisher. Let me know
if you ever want to lose again.
-Thanks for coming. That was fun!
That was a disaster!
How could I have lost at my own game?
I'm gonna be the laughingstock
of the science-based video gaming community.
-Plus, you lost to Gloria. And you like her!
[imitates smooching]
-Shut up.
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
-Welcome to Crunchyham Palace.
-We've been here before.
-In fact, we're the reason
the last two butlers quit.
-You're welcome.
-I'd love to engage you in conversation,
but it's time for Crunchy's grand entrance.
[gong rings out]
[fanfare]
♪ ♪
-Hello, Lex, Presley, and Munchy.
-Oh, hey, Crunchy. Didn't see you come in.
-I'm so happy you finally accepted my KidDING.
I don't know why you didn't respond earlier.
-The app's really glitchy.
-Yeah, it's so frustrating.
-I thought we were just ignoring him.
When they look at me like that,
usually I've said something wrong.
They'll tell me what it was later.
-Well, when I was you accepted the KidDING,
I gave Hildred the day off.
-It's my first day off in a year.
I'm getting my oil changed, doing my taxes,
and getting married.
-We get it, you gave your butler the day off
and hired us to hang out with you
so you can try to be friends again.
-Sweet, silly Presley.
I gave her the day off because
you're gonna be my butlers.
All: What?
-I said...
you're gonna be my butlers!
-We know.
You already made us change into these outfits.
-[groans]
-♪ I got, you got me ♪
♪ We got this ♪
♪ I like the odds when we're side-by-side ♪
♪ I like the sound of that ♪
♪ Oh, we're taking off, gonna do this right ♪
♪ I like the sound of that ♪
♪ And when things go up in flames, we're on it ♪
♪ 'Cause I got you, got me, we got this ♪
-Here's the thing, Crunchy.
It's not that we don't want to be your butlers.
-It's just that we don't know to be butlers.
-But I've always wanted to learn.
Both: Munchy!
-Listen up.
I'm throwing a dinner party tomorrow night
for some new friends.
-He's going to show off his magnificent table
that was just restored.
-It's from my great-great grandfather.
He threw a family out of their log cabin
and used the wood to make it.
-Sounds like your whole family is awesome.
-Hildred, don't forget to
teach them the butler dance.
They'll be performing it tonight at dinner.
-What's a butler dance?
-It's a dance my butler
does on special occasions.
Hildred, show them.
-With pleasure.
[grand orchestral music]
♪ ♪
-Oh, delightful!
I'll leave you butlers to your training.
Hildred, don't leave until
they're ready to take over.
-I'll get some supplies.
And tell my fiancé I'll be late to our wedding.
-This is the worst.
-No, this is perfect.
If this dinner party goes well,
Crunchy will have new friends
and he'll stop bothering us to be his friends.
-Okay, I guess we're gonna
learn how to be butlers.
-[posh accent] Indeed, madam.
Both: Ooh!
-So butler-y.
-The trick it to talk like a stuck-up cat.
♪ ♪
-Okay, sir.
I've run the diagnostic on your video game.
I've identified the problem.
-Good! What is it?
-It's you.
-What?
-Sir, there's nothing wrong with this game.
Gloria just outplayed you.
-But that's impossible. I created the game.
I can't lose to someone
who's never played before.
-We have a livestream recording
that proves you can, sir.
-Okay, here's what's gonna happen.
We're gonna alter the program
to help me beat Gloria in a rematch.
-[gasps] You want to cheat?
-Is it really cheating
if I give myself an advantage
in a game that I created?
-Yes.
-Then yes, I want to cheat.
♪ ♪
-I feel pretty good about this.
Hildred was a great teacher.
-I don't want to be proud of this job,
but that's a good-looking table.
-[posh accent] Me-ow.
-For the last time, I'm not interested.
And please, stop calling, Grandma!
What have you done to my priceless table?
-We set it according to Hildred's specifications.
-Then what do you call this?
-A fork.
-Yes, it's a fork, but it's
the wrong kind of fork.
This is for shrimp, and we're having scallops!
I'll just clear the table so
you can fix your mistake.
-Hey, what are you doing?
-Stop! That took hours!
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, no!
-Stop! Please, stop! Oh!
-You will grow from this.
♪ ♪
-Okay, Horrigan.
Is everything ready for
Operation I'm Going To Win?
-You mean Operation Fisher's A Dirty Cheater
Because He's Afraid To Lose To Gloria?
-I like my way better, but yes.
-All you have to do is give me the signal
by scratching your nose
and I'll activate the cheat code.
-What if I have to scratch my nose for real?
-I'll the know the difference,
sir. It's my job to know.
-Okay, I'm ready for my rematch.
I grabbed you something to drink
so you could wash the taste
of losing out of your mouth.
-I've got a feeling that this
time's gonna be different.
But also, thank you. That's very thoughtful.
-I'm fine. Thanks.
♪ ♪
-Okay, we've reset the table.
How long until the guests are showing up?
[doorbell chimes]
-My guess is right now.
-I'm on it. Let me get into character.
[clears throat]
[progressively more posh] Good evening.
[progressively more posh] Good evening.
[posh accent] Good evening.
[normally] I'm ready.
-I can't wait to see which
fancy people Crunchy invited.
-Could be billionaires, could be celebrities.
-Hello, dummies.
-[posh accent] May I present Tabitha?
-Tabitha, what are you doing here?
-I got an invitation to a fancy party
in a fancy neighborhood.
I'd have to be as dumb as you to turn that down.
What are you doing here?
Besides not giving me bubbly apple juice?
-Well, actually, we're here--
-Don't care. Just give me the juice.
-Okay.
[doorbell chimes]
-Butler Munchy, don't you have to get that?
-[normally] No, I propped the door open
with a fancy statue with no arms.
-Hey, Bub, where's the grub?
-[posh accent] May I present Big Tubby?
-Wait just a lickety split!
You're the awful kids that
cheated at the hot tub contest
I was already cheatin' at!
-You're eating here tonight, too?
-Well, I didn't come here to
watch a pig whistle showtunes!
[laughs] [notification chimes]
-It's Crunchy.
He says, "Hit the gong, you idiots."
[gong rings out]
-Greetings, future friends!
So glad you could come to my humble home!
Who am I kidding? It's not humble.
It's the size of a mall.
-He ain't kiddin'!
I took my Christmas card pictures out front!
-Crunchy, how do you know Tabitha and Big Tubby?
-We've never met.
See, when you didn't respond
to my KidDING requests,
I spent a lot of time on your
app reading the comments.
-There's a comment section?
-Yes, and the people on there are savage.
-So I invited everyone who
gave you the worst reviews
here tonight.
-Wait, what?
-Since you clearly are not
going to agree to be my best friends again,
I'm going to give an evening
so awful, you'll never forget it.
-So this whole dinner
is gonna be full of jerks who don't like us?
-That's right.
Revenge is a dish best served
by the people you're trying
to get revenge against.
[doorbell chimes]
-[normally] Oh, no. More jerks.
-Not jerks!
Both: Jerkelvoss!
-I can't imagine a worse combination of people.
-Fancy Jaget in!
-I stand corrected.
♪ ♪
-Jaget, what are you doing here?
-As your new boss, I called Crunchy
to let him know to be as hard on you as possible.
-He sounded super-mean,
so I invited him to dinner.
You know, 'cause I hate you.
-So now, I'll be here keeping an eye on you kids.
And eating fancy soup!
[slurping loudly]
[glass rings]
-Thank you all for coming.
We've never met, but we
all have one thing in common.
Bad experiences with these three.
-You're ding-dang right there!
[chuckles]
-Later on,
these three will be performing
an elaborate butler dance.
But for now, let's go around my beautiful table
and say one thing you don't like about them.
-What? Why would you do that?
-You're a butler, not a talker-backer.
-[clears throat] Hello.
I'm Dutch and this is my sister, Greta.
-And I'm Greta, and this is my brother, Dutch.
-These kids stole our gift card
after we beat them fair and square
in the sand castle competition.
-For the record, we won that competition,
but were disqualified.
-For the record, nobody cares. Now serve me soup.
-I'm Tabitha.
I hired these three to make a boy jealous,
which they did, but not how I wanted them to.
-[normally] So even though
you got what you wanted,
you're still upset?
-That's right. Don't try to understand me.
-Howdy.
I'm Big Tubby of Big Tubby's Tub-O-Ribs.
I used to sell hot tubs
and hired them to make a commercial.
Next thing I know, they force
me to give hot tubs to orphans!
Orphans!
After my hot tub store went belly-up,
I opened Big Tubby's Tub-O-Ribs
'cause Big Tubby loves ribs.
-I'm Jaget, and I have the saddest story of all.
Imagine the most beautiful dune buggy.
Now imagine it on fire,
screaming as it burns to a crisp!
Now stop imagining, because it happened.
And they did it.
-For shame on you.
-Hey, my dinner roll is stale.
-Oh, they're not for eating.
They're for chucking at them.
Join me, won't you?
-Wait, what?
-Well, I'm sorry--
-Ow, ow, ow, ow!
[laughter]
-Wait!
What is this?
-It looks like a drop of soup.
-That's right.
And it nearly soaked through the tablecloth
onto my priceless table that my ancestors built
from a stolen log cabin.
How did the soup get there?
-My guess is because Big
Tubby is eating soup with a fork.
-Hey, there's no wrong way to eat soup.
-You three are a complete disaster.
What made you ever think you could be butlers?
-You made us do it.
-You leave me no choice.
In order for you to learn to be proper butlers,
I'm firing Hildred and hiring you
to be my butlers full-time.
[notifications chime]
-We're not accepting that job.
-You don't have to, because I just did.
[notifications chime]
-Stop doing that!
[upbeat music]
♪ ♪
-I can't be a full-time butler!
I didn't even want to be a part-time butler!
-There's so much I wanna do with my life.
I haven't even been on a helicopter!
-I never got to go to Paris. It's in Las Vegas!
You can get a lemonade in a giant glass
shaped like the Eiffel Tower!
-And I've never hugged a dolphin!
What do we do, what do we do?
-There's not much we can
do. Jaget won't let us quit.
-And we still have to do that stupid butler dance
at the end of dinner.
-I mean, I will rock it, but
I won't be happy about it.
-Hey, wait. That's it.
We use the butler dance to our advantage.
-Yes.
We go on tour as dancing butlers!
-No, we use it to get Crunchy to fire us.
That way, we'll get out of this job
and there's nothing Jaget can do about it.
-How is dancing gonna get us fired?
Because again, I'm gonna rock it.
-Well, what does Crunchy love more than anything?
His table! We're going to destroy it.
But we have to make it look like an accident.
-Let's do it.
Boop.
-Boop.
-No.
Like a stuck-up cat.
[clears throat]
[post accent] Mm, boop.
-[post accent] Mm, boop.
-[post accent] Mm, boop.
All: Boop, boop.
♪ ♪
-Okay, we're live in three, two, one.
-Welcome back to "Periodic Table Takedown."
Today, we have a round two between me and Gloria,
who got very lucky last time.
-Lucky is finding an onion ring in your fries.
I kicked your butt.
-And the fight starts... now!
-Fight!
[grunting and impacts]
[energetic music]
-[gasps]
♪ ♪
You're about to go down.
-Yes, sir.
♪ ♪
-Oh, I've got you now.
-Jag-Jitsu prepares me for all situations.
[battle cries]
Yes!
-No!
-I worked on a celebratory
dance for the people at home.
-I can't believe you won again!
How is that possible?
-I guess I'm just better than you.
-I know!
That's why I had Horrigan
create a cheat code for me!
-You what?
-[chuckles uncomfortably]
I mean you got lucky again.
-I can't believe you cheated!
I've never been so hurt and upset in my--
-Oh, give it a rest, little missy!
-[chuckles] What's going on?
-Nothing. There's nothing going on.
-You don't tell him, I'm going to.
-Ugh, fine.
Before the first match,
I had Horrigan create a cheat code.
And I just used it again.
-Horrigan, you double-cheated?
-I couldn't resist the drama of it, sir.
Both of you doing the exact same thing,
and me being the only one who knew?
Dance, my little puppets!
-I'm sorry, Fisher, but Jag-Jitsu teaches us
if you're not cheating, you're not trying.
-I'm sorry for cheating, too.
I just wanted to impress those
video game big sh*ts online.
And if I'm being honest, I
wanted to impress you, too.
-Well, you weren't the only
one trying to impress somebody.
-Ooh, you two like each other!
[imitates smooching]
both: Shut up!
♪ ♪
-We finished first!
Both: Jerkelvoss!
-Oh, ding-dang it!
If I knew it was a race,
I'd have chewed with my mouth open to save time!
-You did.
-Oh, you're finally back.
-I saved you a roll.
-[chuckles]
-Sorry. We were just
preparing for our butler dance.
-Oh, delightful. You may begin.
[grand orchestral music]
♪ ♪
[energetic electronic remix]
What? What are you doing?
Get off my table!
♪ ♪
[wood creaking]
[gasps] It sounds like it's cracking!
Get off!
[wood creaking]
-It's working!
-Let's all jump at the same time!
♪ ♪
[wood creaking loudly]
-It's going down!
-You broke my table and souped my face!
-We're so sorry.
-We got lost in the music.
-Guess we're just not good butlers.
-Hey, Crunchy.
You look funnier than a necktie on a peach pie!
[laughs]
-Oh, you got a little something on your...
everything!
Both: Jerkelvoss!
-Oh, I think Soupface is gonna cry.
All: Aw.
-Soupface!
All: Soupface! Soupface! Soupface!
-Stop it!
It's not funny when you jerks are jerks to me!
-Disagree.
-This is extremely funny.
-I cannot believe you three.
-I only hired you so I can have my revenge,
but you messed it up 'cause you're such idiots!
-Hey, hey, hey! They work for me.
You can't call them idiots.
Only I can call them idiots.
-Thanks, bro.
-Quiet, idiot.
My employees will never work for you again.
Unless you pay double.
-Never.
-Then I stand by the first thing I said.
Let's get outta here.
Jaget and his g*ng of dune
buggy-destroying idiots out.
-Later, jerks.
-It's been awful.
-I'm keeping this suit.