15x04 - Cents-less/Buster the Lounge Lizard

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day, when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say, hey ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪
Hey!

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to
your heart, listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪
♪ Place to start ♪

♪ Place to start ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪
Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we can learn to work
and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

Hey!

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR (on TV):
Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa!

Whoa!
(loud thud)

(loud thud)

(letters shattering)

(cash register dings)

MR. RATBURN:
Money.

We all use it every day.

It's so much a part of our lives
that it's hard to imagine

what the world would be like
without money.

Huh?

But that's exactly
what I'd like you to do.

Here you go.

One frozen yogurt replica of
the Montreal Olympic Stadium

with extra snow.

(chomps)

Thanks!

Can I have this chair, too?

Why not?

Everything's free.

Home, Alphonse.

Via Paris.

MR. RATBURN:
Before money was invented,

people used to simply
trade things.

The system was
called bartering.

ARTHUR:
Hey, nice goat!

Want to barter for it?

Okay.

What do you have?

How about my
little sister's cow?

♪ Ten, ten, ten is nice, it's
the highest number we know ♪

♪ If someday they invent TV,
I think I'll have a show! ♪

MR. RATBURN:
This weekend, let's try

a little experiment.

I'd like us all--
myself included--

to not spend any money.

Then we'll share our experiences
in class on Monday.

(laughing)

Oh, Mr. Ratburn,
you're such a kidder!

(laughing)

Hey... wait.

You're serious?!

How are you going to get
through this weekend?

Spending money is
like breathing for you.

I did think
it would be hard at first.

But then I realized
I have this.

My Consumerex Card!

Daddy said it's
only for emergencies,

but if this isn't an emergency,
I don't know what is.

You can't use a credit card.

That's still money.

No, it isn't.

Money is paper
and this is plastic. See?

You're still spending money
when you use a credit card.

You're just paying
for it later.

MUFFY:
This is so unfair!

It's much easier for people
without money not to spend it.

But what about poor
wealthy people like me?

(sighs)

You're breaking my heart.

See you later.

I guarantee you, she isn't
going to last one day.

Muffy buys things
she doesn't even want.

Like we were

at the mall
the other day, and...

Letter for you, Franky.

It's from Bubby.

"Dear Frankeleh,
this is for your birthday.

"I know it's a month away, but
better too early than too late.

"Buy yourself something nice.

"Maybe a dress?

"You're beautiful!

"Why do you insist on hiding it?

Love, your Bubby."

Fifty dollars?!

This is terrible!

Terrible?

What is it, the wrong color?

I can't spend any money
this weekend.

It's my homework.

Want me to spend it for you?

I could use some
new biking shorts.

Nice try.

Oh, well, it's only two days.

I can wait two days.

MR. RATBURN:
Good morning,
Vladimir and Estragon.

Here's your breakfast.

Now for mine.

Condensed milk?

When did I buy this?

And pistachio nuts.

Well, at least it's
an excellent source of protein.

(crunching)

(gulps)

No, no, no.

This won't do.

I must find a way
to get some food.

Hmm...

Aha!

Time for my comeback.

(laughs)

BAILEY:
I would like to purchase
Tammy the Tornado, please.

And, er, does she come with
special lace-up wrestler boots

as is advertised on the box?

BAILEY:
It's for a friend.

FRANCINE:
Aha!

I knew I'd find you here.

You didn't even
last hours.

For your information,
I am not buying anything.

He is.

That's still cheating.

Sorry, Mister,
this doll is reserved.

What?! But it's new!

It just came out last week.

Who reserved it?

BINKY:
Ah! There she is!

Binky Barnes is the name.

It's already been paid for.

You don't play with dolls.

It is not a doll.

It's an action figure.

And it's based on
a real wrestler, too.

Tammy the Tornado won
the Boston Blastdown

three years in a row.

Okay, what do you want for her?

MUFFY:
Let's, uh...

What's the word
Mr. Ratburn used?

Um... oh-- "barter."

How about this
pomegranate-scented moisturizer?

It costs twice as much as that.

Does it have jojoba?

What?

I don't know.

Pff! Forget it.

I have great skin.

I don't want just any
old stuff on my face.

Please!

You don't understand!

They're all sold out!

It's the only one
I don't have.

There must be
something you want.

There is one thing.

A Buzz McBoomboom baseball card.

That I'd trade for.

Francine, you're sporty.

I need a Buzz McBooboo
baseball card.

It's "McBoomboom."

He only pitched one season
for the Grebes.

And good luck finding one;

it's super rare.

Actually, I think Brain
might have one.

He has an amazing
baseball card collection.

MUFFY:
Then what are we waiting for?

Let's go!

% off?
This weekend only?!

I could buy so much with this.

I'll tell you
what you could buy.

♪ For this weekend only, these
things could be for thee ♪

♪ Eight leather softballs,
seven thermal hoodies ♪

♪ Six hockey knee pads,
five wooden bats! ♪

♪ Four flying discs,
three hockey sticks ♪

♪ Two catcher's masks, and a
well-oiled outfielder's mitt. ♪

MUFFY:
Francine!

Let's go.

It's not fair.

No, I don't have a Buzz
McBoomboom baseball card.

I have three of them.

One stays in its custom-made,
hermetically sealed case.

One is to touch...

And this one is for backup.

I might part with it,

but I'd need something special
in return.

Moisturizer?

I was thinking more along the
lines of a particle accelerator.

Deal!

You don't even know
what that is.

You've got, like, every
baseball card ever here!

I know.

It's a pity I never have
time to organize them.

It would be an
impressive display.

Yes, yes, pretty cards.

Brain, I'm going to get you that
particle accelerator if it's

the last thing I do.

Come on!

How much for Lefty McGee?

Francine!

I wonder if Brain would settle
for some of my clothes.

Goodness knows, he could use
a makeover.

(kids laughing)

Hey, look, something's
going on in the park.

PUPPET:
Knock knock!

Who's there?

A big sponge,
shaped like a hammer!

Aw, that tickled!

(laughing)

It doesn't hurt,

but it musses up
my beautiful hair.

(laughing)

OWL PUPPET:
Look, Punchy!

Everyone's laughing.

That means our show is a hit!

(laughing)

A hit-- get it?

The show's a hit,
but Jude also got hit.

(laughing)

It works on so many levels.

Thank you, thank you!

Remember, don't give me money.

Just food, if you please!

FRANCINE:
Hey, Mr. Ratburn.

You brought
Punchy and Jude back!

We haven't seen
those puppets in ages.

I forgot to go grocery shopping
before the project,

so I had to figure out
a way to get food.

How are you two getting along?

Terrible.

I'm trying to make
a trade with Brain,

but I don't have anything
he wants.

You don't have to barter
with a "thing."

Why not try offering a service?

Yeah, I've been trading jokes
for things.

Check this one out.

Why was six scared of seven?

Because seven eight nine!

What did you get
for that?

Half a bagel.

And then I stood on my hands
for some cream cheese.

Whoa!

I guess it's worth a shot.

It's good to be here,
in Brain's room.

How are you tonight, Brain?

Could you skip the false
interest in me

and just proceed
to the humorous part?

Um, okay.

So, Brain, why was six
scared of seven?

Because seven "eight" nine.

That joke is older
than my fossil collection.

How about that
particle accelerator?

I asked Daddy.

He said we couldn't break ground
to build the accelerator

until I was in college.

Well, if you'll excuse me,
I have to finish

swapping out my old baseball
cards for the new ones.

If you used your space
more efficiently,

you wouldn't have to take
the old ones down.

Really?

I have World Girl dolls.

I'm an expert
at displaying things.

We'll put all the red ones
over here

and players with mustaches
over there.

I'm going to call in
my design team

so we can really do this right.

MUFFY:
Okay, Brain,

open your eyes.

Ta-da!

Ta-da!
Ta-da!

Ta-da!

MUFFY:
I had some extra lights
and pedestals at home.

Do you like it?

I can see... everything!

While we're at it,

I thought we'd liven
up the whole room

with a coat
of lavender paint.

No! Don't do anything else.

But I do want you

to have... this.

You're giving me
Buzz McBoomboom?

He's not giving it to you.

You bartered for it.

I did?

Yes.

My cards really needed
organizing

and you traded that service
for something you wanted.

I'd still prefer

to have the particle
accelerator,

but... here.

I bartered!

Now let's go trade this
for the World Girl doll.

Fifty bucks
for the whole lot--

final offer.

You are saving that money,
Francine Frensky.

And that's how I learned I was
valuable, even without money.

Thanks for the doll, Binky.

It's an action figure!

Muffy also convinced me
to save my money.

She said if I put it in a bank,

soon I could have enough
money for a new bike.

MR. RATBURN:
Well, class, it sounds

like the project was...

(in puppet voice):
A big hit!

BUSTER:
A big hit!

And they hit each other!

(laughs)

It's so subtle.

I love those guys.

(ringing)

CHORUS:
♪ When trouble strikes
both night and day... ♪

♪ Never fear,
he's on the way... ♪

(beeping)

♪ Our fearless hero,
Dark Bunny ♪

♪ In his brand
new Dark Buggy... ♪

(engine revving)

(chuckling evilly)

♪ In a flash,
he'll catch that crook ♪

♪ With the buggy's
grappling hook ♪

♪ Reeling in crooks
is such a cinch ♪

♪ When you use
the a*t*matic winch ♪

♪ It can drive up walls ♪

♪ It can float on the sea ♪

♪ It comes with attachments ♪

♪ But batteries are sold
separately. ♪

Must... have... now.

Hey!

ARTHUR:
Whoa! It's amazing!

And wait, wait, wait.

Here's the best part,
the grappling hook.

Hey!

(Binky yells,
buggy's alarm wails)

(whimpers)

A kid could get in a heap
of trouble with this thing.

I'm sorry.

Here, have some celery.

Please don't tie me
into a pretzel.

Not with me, with Mr. Ratburn.

Remember my Ultrabouncy Ball?

He confiscated it Monday and I'm
still waiting to get it back.

Binky's right.

If Mr. Ratburn sees you
with it in class,

he'll lock it up
for at least a week.

Relax.

I'm not going to play
with it in class.

I'm just going to keep it
in my desk,

where it can be near me.

(Buster straining
to close desk)

(beeping)

(gasps)

Um, I think you dropped this.

(whispering):
Thanks.

(class gasps)

Oh, dear!

Um... it wasn't me?

I swear, Mr. Ratburn.

I wasn't playing with it.

It just went off
accidentally.

The Dark Buggy is really,
really sensitive.

You know the rules, Buster.

You'll get it back
at the end of the week.

Oh!

(disco music playing)

I see what you mean.

Seems to have
hair-trigger reflexes.

Here.

Just take it away, please.

But if I catch you playing
with it in class again,

then I shall keep it for the...

The whole school year?

Yup. That's what he said.

Wow. Harsh.

I know.

That's why I'm not taking
any chances.

It's staying in my locker
until I go...

(click)

What did you do?

I don't know.

I don't think
I touched anything.

All I said was, "It's staying
in my locker until I go..."

(engine starts up)

I think it was that word.

Which word?

"Go"?

Quick! Follow that buggy!

DARK BUNNY:
Dark Buggy is in hot pursuit.

Activating Stealth Mode.

So I said, "Neurosurgery?

Try teaching
third grade for a week."

(laughing)

Oh, lookee.

Papa Bear needs more coffee.

Have you tried
the new hazelnut creamer?

The teachers' lounge?

Oh, I'm doomed!

(slurping)

(hiccups)

That's it.

I'm never seeing
that toy again.

(sighs)

And I never even got to use
the Petotronic-transforminator.

What's that?

Beats me.

It was all the way in the back
of the instruction manual.

I only got up to page .

Why don't you just tell
Mr. Ratburn the truth?

Oh, there's an idea!

"Sorry, Mr. Ratburn.

"The buggy just
drove off on its own,

right into the
teachers' lounge."

Would you believe that?

Good point.

Yeah, it's gone forever.

Think of all the confiscated
toys that must be in there.

I wonder what they do
with them all.

Mr. Marco!

You derailed my caboose.

(blows a raspberry)

(in deep voice):
I'm telling you,
the Earth orbits the Sun.

(in high voice):
Heresy, Signor Galileo!

Heresy, I say!

(giggling)

MUFFY:
They play with the toys?

(laughs)

Oh, puh-leeze!

It's a lounge.

The teachers go there to relax.

MUFFY:
It's like a super-fancy salon,
with massage chairs

and pedicures...

and even a Jacuzzi.

That's where all of
our tax dollars go.

No way!

I'll tell you what
really goes on in there.

The teachers spend
all their free time

working on ways to make tests
and homework harder.

We have a new question
from the Stumper .

"If someone says
they always lie,

are they lying
or telling the truth?"

Hmm. What's the answer?

There isn't one.

It's a paradox.

(all laughing)

Excellent!

We'll put it
on the next math test

and make it worth half
their grade for the semester.

(laughing)

Now, then, who wants a slug?

FRANCINE:
Then, when no one's looking,

they take off their teacher
disguises and reveal

their true alien forms.

Mmm, a slug!

(gasps)

You really think
they're aliens?

Of course not.

But I knew you would,
so I added it in.

(disappointed):
Aw...

Well, speaking of homework,
I've got a ton of it.

I'll say.

Me too.

You guys go without me.

I want to sit a while

and think about all the fun
I won't be having this year.

(shop door bells jingle
as kids leave)

BINKY:
I know what I would do

if my toy was stuck
in the teachers' lounge.

Oh. Hey, Binky.

Were you sitting there
the whole time?

Maybe I was,
maybe I wasn't.

The point is, I know of a way
you can get that buggy back.

You do? How?

Shh! Not here.

This is better.

There was so much glare
in that booth.

If you ever want
to see your buggy again,

you'll have to break
into the teachers' lounge.

What?!

You're joking, right?

Maybe I am...

Maybe I'm not.

But if I wasn't joking,
I'd tell you

I have a fool-proof plan
to get that Dark Buggy back.

And then, I'd tell you to
meet me at the Tower of Pain,

at sundown.

Of course, if
I was joking,

I'd say, "Ha ha! You fell
for it, sucker!"

But I didn't say that.

Or did I?

(door bells jingle)

Um... (gasps)

PRINCIPAL HANEY:
Hello, Nigel.

What are you doing there?

Hmm?

Oh, it's Buster's
history homework.

Thought I'd do something
useful with it.

Well, well, well!

What do we have here?

(buggy whirring softly)

(clicking his tongue)

A toy.

Now, that's not
very educational.

I should say not.

But if we took it apart, we
could use it in science class.

(drill whirring)

(both chuckling)

(yelling)

Okay, what's the plan?

My sources tell me
the teachers' lounge has

a highly sophisticated
security system:

computerized surveillance,
motion detectors,

guards round the clock.

Really?

What are your sources?

Um... action movies
and comic books.

We're going to dig a hole
in the playground,

tunnel our way beneath
the school and then... bam!

Why not just go
through the window?

It's on the first floor.

You know, I worked really hard
on this plan.

It just seems
kind of complicated.

Well, so is Mozart, Bucko.

But that doesn't mean
it isn't genius.

Fine, fine.

We'll tunnel under the school.

Who's going to dig?

You know, maybe the window
isn't such a bad idea.

We'll meet a half an hour
before school starts.

(alarm beeps)

(yawns)

BINKY:
Well?

Um, I'm not sure
if I want to...

Come on, we don't
have all day.

And I'm getting
a grass stain on my knee.

(sighs)

Oh, by the way,
when you're in there,

could you get
my Ultrabouncy Ball, too?

Thanks.

Okay, here we go.

Stop!

What's wrong?

I can't do it.

The teachers' lounge
is private.

If they wanted students
to see what's inside,

it would just be
called "lounge."

MR. RATBURN (sternly):
Buster.

Hold it right there.

(groans)

Somehow this infernal
contraption found its way

into the teachers' lounge.

Please keep it as far away
from me as possible.

I will, Mr. Ratburn.

I promise.

You'll never see it again.

Whew! That was close.

Hey, did you get to see
inside the room?

Nope.

We still have no idea
what really goes on in there.

Why did you give it back?

I didn't have a chance
to play with it at all.

Now, now.

Relax, Francis.

We still have this.

(glass shatters)