13x05 - The Great MacGrady

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day, when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say, hey ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to
your heart, listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ Place to start ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪

Hey!

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we can learn to work
and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR (over TV):
Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa!

(loud thud)

(letters shattering)

BUSTER:
And... action!

Hi.

Today's show is...

Um, I forgot my first line.

Cut!

"Acting.

Today's show
is all about acting."

See?

I think I got it.

You don't have to shout, "Cut."

We're the only
ones here.

I like shouting, "Cut."

It makes me feel professional.

Today's show
is all about acting.

Today's show is all about...

Arthur and Buster's
Homemade Show opening...

take two.

And... action!

Hi.

Today's show is all about...

D.W.:
You and Buster
have to move.

Nadine and I are building
a pillow fort in here.

No way.

Use the den.

I can't.

Those pillows
aren't right.

(sniffles)

Anyway, I wouldn't
be building a fort

if you played
with me

once in a while,

but you never do!

(sobbing)

You hate me!

What?

D.W., that's ridic...

Cut, cut!

Okay, we'll move
into the den, all right?

You were wonderful.

Now, that's acting.

(Baby Kate crying)

Fern, quick!

The sparkly butterfly barrette
or the sparkly bow barrette?

Um, I don't know.

They look the same to me.

Muffy, it's an
acting audition.

They're not going to be paying
attention to your hair.

It's for William
Fillmore Toffman.

The William
Fillmore Toffman.

I have to look
my best.

Who's William
Fillmore Toffman?

True East?

Jimmy Hopped
the C Train?

He's only the most famous
theater director in Crown City.

He directed his very first play
in Elwood City:

It Began With a Whistle.

Now he's back for a revival
of the play's th anniversary.

We're trying out
for Little Lucie,

the only kid in the play.

Want to come?

Me... audition?

I can't act.

So? Come
for moral support.

Besides, you might
see a star be born.

TOFFMAN:
Bravo, bravo.

Gritty, but with a hint
of ennui.

Nice work, Francine.

You would make a
great understudy.

TOFFMAN:
Next.

FERN:
Good luck.

(gasps)
What did you say?

FRANCINE:
It's bad luck to say,
"Good luck," to an actor.

You say, "Break a leg,"
or something in French.

Oh.

Bonjour.

TOFFMAN:
Next, please.

MUFFY:
But... Grandma!

Can't you hear...

the whistle blowing?

Thank you, Miss...
Crossmire.

Actually, it's Crosswire.

Thank you,
Mr. Toffman.

I'm a huge fan.

What's this?

My head sh*ts,

some postcards,
a DVD

of my most dramatic work...

oh, and chocolates.

Oh!

We have one more.

Oh, I'm not auditioning.

What a pity.

You look perfect for the role.

Thin, round
shouldered,

a certain hunger
in the eyes.

Actually, I just had
a frozen yogurt.

(laughing)

And a wit, to boot!

What did you say
your name was?

Fern.

Fern.

Beautiful name.

Well, Fern,

are you sure
you don't want

to climb the boards
and give it a shot?

Well... okay.

Good luck.

(gasps)
Finally, the cast list!

You can't be serious.

I'm Little Lucie?

But I didn't even act the line.

Maybe it's a mistake.

Nope. Daddy's
in the play, too.

He spoke to William
Fillmore Toffman.

Apparently, you were
just right for the part.

But all I've ever played
at school

is a tree in the Arbor Day
Extravaganza.

I'm going to say no.

You can't say no!

This could launch
your acting career.

I don't want an acting career.

I worked for hours having Bailey
put together those head sh*ts.

You want to walk away?

Fern, there's going

to be great costumes,
a cool set.

It could be
really fun.

TOFFMAN:
Welcome to the
magnificent world

of It Began With a Whistle,

a tragic tale of love,

loss, redemption...

and more loss.

Behold!

A model of our set.

It shall be your home

for the next
three weeks.

Evocative.

Stunning.

Depressing.

TOFFMAN:
Exactly.

This play takes place
during the Depression,

so the set must therefore
be... depressing.

Um, Mr. Toffman, I think I might

be missing
some pages.

I've only found
one line

for Little Lucie.

And what a line it is.

In fact, I feel
the whole play revolves

around that line, Fern.

Oh.

Cool.

RATBURN:
Then, in the
dust storm of ' ,

we left Amarillo, taking just

what we could carry
on our backs.

Even the kettle don't work
in this house.

I am Big Daddy Booth.

RATBURN:
Because it would be
the last I'd see

of Oklahoma.

THORA:
It's got a broken heart.

It don't
whistle no more

'cause it forgot how,

like we forgot how.

But Grandma, can't you hear
the whistle blowing?

This is why I am

in the theater,

to hear the
music of words

the way you
just read them.

And Fern....
I love the way

you made Lucie seem

as if she
were waking

from a deep
psychological sleep.

Genius!

Wow.

Maybe I am a natural.

And the award
for best dramatic performance

of a single line goes to...

(gasps)

my protégé... Fern!

(applause)

CROWD:
Fern! Fern! Fern!

I wasn't expecting this.

I mean, I know I've
had rave reviews

from every newspaper
in the world

and my fan mail needs
its own dressing room,

but still, it's such a shock.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you.

MUFFY:
Fern!

Huh?

Would you quit
thanking the ketchup

and pass it, please?

Daddy told me Will
said you were a genius.

I'm just curious.

What method
do you use?

Method?

Yeah, you know,
how do you prepare?

I don't.

I just say
the line.

You're going
to be performing

in front of hundreds
of people.

You have to do more
than that.

Here.

Some material
I thought might help you.

Books on technique,

warm-up exercises,
stuff like that.

It's funny they call you
the stranger.

'Cause you seem familiar.

(repeating):
Red leather, yellow leather...

Folks always say
I seem strange

but... familiar.

Red leather,
yellow leather...

Strange, that.

TOFFMAN:
Stop, stop, stop,

stop, stop,
stop, stop.

Grandma,
nice work.

Nigel, I need you
to be stranger.

You seem...

not strange enough.

Yes, right.

Of course.

And Fern...

Yes?

Do you know what
acting is, Fern?

Acting is reacting,

and you can't react
unless you...

Prepare.

And learn your lines
really, really well.

You can't react
unless you listen.

Little Lucie is a listener.

Take it from the
top of the scene.

It's got a broken heart
like all of us.

It don't whistle no more
'cause...

FERN:
But Grandma,

can't you hear... the whistle?

Ladies and
gentlemen,
take five.

Fern, let's

you and I
take a stroll.

(birds singing)

When I think
of Little Lucy,

I think of
this tree.

I can do that.

I've played
trees before.

Do not saw the air too much
with your hand thus.

Shakespeare.

Hamlet's instructions
to the players.

Fern, I don't want you
to be a tree.

I want you to be like this tree.

It doesn't
move much.

Yes.

But you can't help
but notice it.

ED CROSSWIRE:
I am

Big Daddy Booth.

I am Big

Daddy Booth.

But Grandma, can't you hear
the whistle blowing?

But Grandma...

Places, everyone!

Places!

Why is he saying places?

It means the show's
about to start,

and you have to go back
to your seat.

Even the kettle don't
work in this house.

It's got a broken heart.

It don't whistle
no more 'cause...

'c-cause...

FERN:
'Cause it forgot how,

like we forgot how!

(water bubbling,
kettle clinking)

Grandma, can't you hear

the thistle blowing?

I hear thistle
blowing

out there
on the dusty plains,

but I also hear a whistle
blowing.

Don't you, Grandma?

(applause)

(chattering and laughter)

Fern!

Hey. I guess

I wasn't such a genius
after all.

What are you
talking about?

I only had one line,
and I messed it up!!

That wasn't
in the script?

I thought they had
just expanded your role.

You're not just
saying that?

William Fillmore
Toffman was right.

You're perfect
for that part.

I could never play
someone so dreary.

Nice work.

Brava, Fern!

Have some sparkling cider.

I'm really sorry
I flubbed the line.

I promise it won't
happen again.

You improvised.

The dusty plains bit?

Genius!

And most importantly,
you were really listening.

I was thinking
for tomorrow's show,

we might restage
the last scene.

Perhaps have you sit
on the floor with a rag doll.

Hey, could we give Little
Lucy another line or two?

I'm not the playwright, Fern.

Just the director.

And now...

Belinda, would you run
and find Willy and Alice?

This is the New
Repertory Theater,

and we're doing a production of

Charles Dickens'
A Christmas Carol,

working with the Arsenal Center
for the Arts,

and Watertown
Children's Theater.

I'm Lily. I play the role
of Belinda Cratchit.

This play is about
a man named Scrooge.

...Out upon Merry Christmas.

And he doesn't like Christmas,

and the ghost of his friend
Marley comes back,

and with the help
of the Ghost of Christmas Past,

The Ghost of Christmas Present,

and the Ghost of Christmas
Future, shows Scrooge

the joy of Christmas.

Merry Christmas,
Mr. Scrooge.

Merry Christmas.

Bob Cratchit works for Scrooge,

and Scrooge isn't very nice
to him.

And I'm one of Bob Cratchit's
children.

(indistinct stage dialogue)

I think about what it's like
for this character,

living in this time,

and I think about

how hard it is for her,
and I create a life

for this character.

We're gonna do the full scene,

but with stop and go.

Here we go.

Oh, Belinda!

When we rehearse,

we run through the scene,

and the director, Rick,
will give us notes

to make the scene
the best we can make it.

Lily, when you say,
"I can help you, Mother,"

you know there's no way
Mom's not gonna let you help,

so this is your way
of teasing her.

'Cause there's no way anybody
else is gonna touch the pudding,

except Mom.

Let's go back one more time.

I can help you, Mother.

MAN:
No, no, no, my dear...

WOMAN:
Because that's really the idea.

To make it all very real.

Let's go out
to the watch house

and you can hear the pudding
singing in the copper.

LILY:
The line about the pudding
is a lot like

what happens to Fern
in her play,

'cause it's my one big line
in the show.

Yeah, we were trying to
figure out what a pudding is.

It's more like cake.

Or a plum pudding, I guess,
it would be, for Christmas.

The copper

is where we cook the pudding.

Mrs. Cratchit,
it's a wonderful pudding, it is.

LILY:
Theater is a really
fun experience.

You get to dance; you get
to sing; you get to act.

You can create a personality
for the character,

and that's what I like
to do.

(cheering and applause)

And now...

Maybe you've heard the buzz,

but this episode is going
to be amazing.

Off the hook!

The best part is the ending.

MARINA:
Prunella, wait!

Don't tell them
how it ends!

People want
to find out for themselves.

But it's really good!

What if I told you
how Cinderella ends?

She knows how it ends!

There's a glass slipper;
I marry the prince,

yadda, yadda, yadda.

Well, what if I told you
how Snow White ends?

I marry the prince, too.

Everyone knows that.

Okay, Marina.

Now this episode ends
when I discover...

(muffled scream)

No!

Greg, start the show!

And I predict
that you will shortly see...

(electrical popping and buzzing)

PRUNELLA:
Can you believe it?

The last volume is finally here.

Henry Screever and the Knights
of the Bouillabaisse.

I feel I've been waiting
my whole life for this moment!

I bet that Henry's father
is really Dark Lord Moldywart,

and Henry turns him
to good!

I bet Pigblisters is att*cked
by extraterrestrial reptilians,

and they team up to
repel the invasion!

Excuse me!
Coming through!

Muffy, the end of the line
is back there,

around the corner, down
by Pete's Paint Shop.

Oh, Bailey!

There you are!

Thank you for
saving my place.

(scoffs)

(excited whooping,
cheering and chattering)

GIRL:
Right! Yes!

BRAIN:
How come in Book
Five, Henry was told

he could pass through
the Golden Arches

only if he had the Sucking Stone
of Ballycoodle,

but in Book Six,
he passed through them

even though the Stone had been

consumed
by the Dragon Caliparius?

I have a Braille copy
on special order.

Marina Datillo?

We should read
this one together,

so whenever we finish a new
chapter, we can talk about it!

Yeah! We'll make a schedule,

so we can both finish
at the exact same time!

It's a deal!

BOTH:
By the sacred covenant
of Magret de Canard!

So for tomorrow,
just the first three chapters.

Chapter Four.

Oh, just one little peek.

(doorbell rings)

J.R. Ticklepenny
has taken her writing

to a whole new plane
of beauty and mystery.

Sounds impressive.

Pruney, Marina's here.

Can you come
down, please?

Coming!

Sorry. I was just,

uh... finishing
Chapter Three.

Isn't it amazing?

Yeah.

I can't wait
to see what happens next.

Hey, why is Master
Albacore acting so strange?

Maybe he's secretly
working for Moldywart.

No way!

Not in a million Ages
of the Undead!

Well, then why would he put
the spell on Henry's ladle?

What spell?

You know, after the game
of Soupditch,

he put the s...

You read ahead!

Prunella Deegan,

you have broken
the sacred covenant!

I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean to.

I'll let you catch up,
I promise!

All right, but
for tomorrow,

we're only going
up to chapter six.

Just chapter six, I promise.

By the sacred covenant
of Magret de Canard!

So Henry and Rufus Whirligig
have to join the Order

of the Knights if they're going

to retrieve the Looking Glass
of Lord Tapenade.

(phone ringing)

Hello?

Hi, Marina!

Oh, I know!

And what about that new teacher,
Amuse-Bouche?

It's that weird raven
that creeps me out.

What raven?

The, uh...

Wasn't there a raven
in chapter six?

You read ahead!

Well, so did
you... before!

By accident!

And then I held back

because I wanted you
to be able to keep up!

Wait a second!

Are you saying you're a
faster reader than I am?

Of course I am.

Prunella, this
pact is over!

I'm finishing this book,
and I'm not waiting for you.

You couldn't finish this book
before me even if you

put a slow reading
hex on me!

(phone beeps off)

Prunella Deegan,
you're gonna wish

you never messed
with fast-hands Marina!

(buzzing)

Pruney.

(yelps)

I'd also like
to announce

the upcoming Harvest
Day Celebration.

Now, if anyone is allergic
to pumpkins,

please let the staff...

Prunella.

Prunella.

Reading during a
school assembly?

Really, Prunella, you
ought to know better.

I am afraid I will have

to confiscate the Ancient Codex.

Oh, heavy.

PRUNELLA:
Time was running out
for Persephone.

She needed that Ancient Codex,
but she had

never before entered
Albacore's Chambers unbidden.

Hey!

Thou shalt not pass.

Floors are wet.

They need
minutes to dry.

She was cornered.

The beast was closing in.

(growls)

Hey, footprints.

Albacore's chambers were guarded
by the Ghoul Griselde.

But just as Persephone grabbed
the priceless volume...

ALBACORE:
Prunella.

I applaud your enthusiasm
for fiction,

but your reading will have
to wait

until after school.

(gasps)

BUSTER:
I heard she's already

at page .

That's even ahead
of Brain.

Hey, look, Marina's only got
three chapters left.

Bet you an orange smoothie
that Prunella catches her.

You're on.

Come on, Prunella,
faster.

Marina, read.

She's catching
up to you.

Go, Prunella, go.

Go, Prunella, go.

I can't concentrate here.

Me neither.

Hey, Marina,
guess what?

I finished.

Shh...

I finished first.

Actually, I finished
five minutes ago,

but I wanted to reread
the last page.

Well, I suppose if you want
to believe you finished first,

I can't stop you.

Of course you can't.

It's the truth.

I'm glad you think that.

I'll talk to you later.

MUFFY:
Prunella, where's your book?

Did you finish?

Who won?

Oh, it's not a competition,
but I finished first

and it was the best ending
of all time.

Okay, so you got to
tell me: what's the deal

with the Looking Glass
of Lord Tapenade?

Um, well, Henry has to find it.

But it's broken, right?

Um, yeah,
I think so.

It's just a
silly detail.

What about
Lord Moldywart?

Is he Henry's long-lost uncle
or not?

I don't know if she
really explained that.

I think it's open
to interpretation.

Hey, Prunella, is it
true that Persephone is

really a spirit
from the Noble Order?

Persephone
a spirit?

Uh, I mean, right,
yes, of course she is.

Told you.

So she's not just saying that
to fool Professor Pad Thai?

You mean Professor
Amuse-Bouche?

No, I mean
Professor Pad Thai.

I thought
you finished the book.

I did.

I just got confused for a sec.

PRUNELLA'S MOM:
How do you feel now that you're
all done with Henry Screever?

Good.

I mean, I wish there were
more books, but you know.

Well, I'm very proud of you.

Reading all of volume seven
is quite a feat, and so fast.

Stop

right there,
Persephone.

If you are to cross
the Bridge of Brûlée,

you must prove your knowledge
of the ancient lore.

Give me your hardest question.

How does a sorceress reverse
a lycanthrope spell?

Uh, hmm, that's a good one.

Well... it's open
to interpretation.

Wrong.

How about this one?

Is it okay to team up
with the bad guys

to ward off an alien invasion?

Uh. I don't know.

Was that even in the book?

Of course it was.

Persephone Deegan,

we find you guilty
of page-skimming.

No!

(cackles)

Lord Moldywart.

(gasps)

(panting)

(doorbell rings)

Hey, Marina.

Hi.

You want to come in?

Actually,

I need to
ask you:

um, is Lord Moldywart
Henry's uncle or not?

Um, gosh, I'm not sure.

I think that's open
to interpretation.

Oh, okay,
that's what I thought.

And Persephone-- is she really
a spirit from the Noble Order?

What?

But if she is, that means
she doesn't die at the end.

PRUNELLA:
I know.

Hey, Prunella,
I think maybe I read the book

a little too fast.

Yeah, me, too.

Maybe we should
read it again.

We could read it out
loud to each other.

"A notably musty air,

"redolent of closed windows
and long-kept secrets,

"emanated from the small,
forgotten-looking shop

"on Castlepenny Lane.

"Henry Screever,

"with his faithful falcon
Stilton perched on his shoulder,

rang the bell and waited for
what seemed like an eternity."

To watch more Arthur

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visit pbskidsgo.org.

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and lots of other books, too,

at your local library.

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪