11x10 - Big Brother Binky

[bunniefuu]

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♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪

(laughing)

♪ And I say hey ♪
Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen to
your heart, listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Oh, believe in yourself ♪
♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪
♪ Place to start ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪
Hey!

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn to work
and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

Hey!
♪ What a wonderful kind
of day. ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR (over TV):
Hey, D.W.!

Hey!

Whoa!
(loud thud)

(letters shattering)

Greetings, master.

Why have you come?

I wish to learn the way
of the big brother.

The path is long
and will cost you dearly.

Okay, forget it.

Uh... wait!

All right, I'll throw in
the first lesson for free.

Come on in.

We begin with a demonstration:
"Eagle Retaining Remote."

Take the remote
from my hand.

You really are the master!

Now, retrieve
the cookie.

How did you do that?

It's called "Big Brother
Becomes the Wind."

The time has come
to test your skills

on a worthy opponent.

D.W.!

Here is your challenge.

Get to the remote
before D.W.

(gulps)

Hold on.
I'm not ready.

That's better.

Now, I don't know
what Arthur told you,

but I'm the one who
makes the rules here.
Huh?

The rules say that I get
to make the first move.

I also get to make
the last move.

Rule # :
I make up the rules...

What do I do now?

Use "Finger Block"
and "Run Like Water."

It is the best defense

against "Little Sister
Squawks Like Chicken."

(D.W. reciting rules)

I can run and talk at the same
time, you know. Wait!

(groans)

Well, dear, shall you tell him?

Can I?
Or do you want to?

What? Tell me what?

BOTH:
We're planning
on adopting a baby!

What do you think?

Okay.

May I be excused?

Wide World of Wrestling
is on in two minutes.

The Timber Twins
have splintered the competition,

but look who's waiting
in the wings.

You better knock wood,
Timber Twigs.

So now that
your show's over,

let's talk a little.

How are you feeling
about all this?

Great.

Can't wait to see

the Timber Twins take on
Horace the Hacksaw next week.

So how do you feel
about our plan?

Um, fine, I guess.

Will it be like
having a pen pal?

Will I have to write
him all the time?

Well, no.

Adoption means you're
going to be somebody's
older brother forever.

You mean, when we adopt,
I'll get to be a big brother?

That's right.

Some kids become brothers
and sisters by birth

and some by adoption.

I'm going to be
an older brother?

Yep.

We're going
to adopt from China,

so it'll probably be a girl.

I'm going to be an older brother
with a little sister!

Whoo-hoo!

So when are they going
to send us my sister?

Isn't she going to be
scared flying all the
way here by herself?

No, because we're going
to go to China to get her.

We're going to China, too?

This is the best day ever.

(kiss)

ANNOUNCER:
And in this corner we have
Bernie the Bulldozer,

Wide World Champion
five times over!

Tonight he'll take on
Binky and his sister--

the Pair of Despair.

(heavy metal music playing)

I can't see! I can't see!

(giggling)

Uncle! Uncle!

(bell rings)

Well, big brother,
you better get ready.

I'm all packed
and ready for China.

Binky, it could be a
whole year before we go.

A whole year? Why?

Because there's lots to do.

There are forms to fill out,
interviews we have to have,

paperwork we have
to send to China,

meet with a social worker.

Well, what am I supposed
to do until then, just wait?

You can help us with
some of the paperwork.

Here, I hereby elect you
keeper of the checklist.

Your job is to help
us keep on track

and get everything done.

(sighs)

Okay.

Well, there isn't a box for it,
but that toast needs buttering.

Look, this picture's
for the people in China

taking care of my sister,
so make it good.

Don't forget to smile.

But show them
we're serious about this.

Um, serious,
but also really nice.

That's it.

(camera shutter clicks)

You sure
everything's in here?

It's all ready to go.

I triple-checked the list.

BINKY:
Good luck.

Have a safe trip.

Our papers are on
their way to China.

Ah, my favorite:

peanut-free egg rolls.

Xie-xie.

Sue Ellen taught me how to say
"thank you" in Chinese.

It's so wonderful
that you've been learning

some Chinese words
before our trip.

Little sister is "mei-mei."

And big brother is "da ge."

Here's to getting all
our paperwork in on time.

Now there's nothing
to do but wait.

I hope it won't be long.

Oh, we still have
more to do.

For one thing, we've got to get
your sister's new room together.

Are we going to build her
a new room?

Hey, maybe I could get a bigger
room while we're at it.

No, no, we're going

to turn the spare room
into your sister's room.

The spare room?

You mean, my game room?

Some of the stuff in there
we can give away

or store in the garage.

What stuff?!
Not my stuff!

Don't worry.

We'll find another place
to put your games.

Oh, my, I forgot
I put this up here.

You know, this would look nice

in your sister's bai jia bei.
What's that?

It's a "one hundred
good wishes" quilt.

We'll ask friends and family
to contribute a piece of fabric

and a good wish for the baby.

Then I'll make a quilt
for your sister out of it.

Did you make one
of those for me?

Well, no.

It's a tradition
from northern China.

I didn't know about it
when you were a baby.

So she gets a hundred good
wishes, and what do I get?

Binky.

For your sister's quilt.

She's going
to love unicorns.

(whinnying)

For your sister's quilt.

So she'll believe.

(barks)

Hmm...

I know checkers is in here
somewhere.

Hey, there's my patch.

The one with the pandas.

Oh...

I can't find anything
anymore.

Look what just arrived.

Can you guess
who this is?

BINKY:
My sister.

She looks kind of... small.

Can I call my
mom and D.W.?

Of course, dear.

Let's invite them over
to see the picture.

I thought we were going
to play checkers.

(grunts)

I'm an expert
at taking care of babies.

So call me anytime.

Thank you, D.W.

I'll keep that in mind.

When can you bring her home?

Well, the call could
come any day now.

Oh...

I forgot about
Binky's travel sh*ts.

sh*ts?

Was that it?
Was that the last one?

Yep. That was
the last one.

Oh, this baby
better be worth it.

Oh, no.

Can I put this
in your bag, Mom?

Oh, dear,
we can't take that.

But the red lacewing
is only found in China.

This could be my chance
to see one up close.

Binky, we've got to put
some of these diapers

and baby formula
in your bag.

I don't need that stuff.

They're for your sister.

Oh.

Hmm...

That's better.

Now we're all packed.

Fine.

I'm going to bed.

FATHER:
Thanks for
helping, son.

Guess there's no room for me
and my stuff anymore.

(yawns)

(baby talk)

MOTHER:
Breakfast time,

you ittle, wittle,
sweetie pie!

And you too, Binky.

(baby talk)

Mom!

Mom!

Here we go, baby-waby.

(yells)

(gasps)

Stop! I'm not baby food!

Help!

Binky, wake up, dear.

But it's : in the morning.

Come on.

We've got a plane to catch.

Don't do that, honey.

No kicking, sweetie.

You want me to come back there

and make you stop?

Binky!

I'm so sorry.

But she was kicking me.

Why are you taking her side?

I bet that's how it's going
to be with my sister, too.

What do you mean?

It's just that you don't care
about me like you used to.

Oh, Binky, I know this is
a big change for all of us,

but I'm going to love you
as much as I always have.

This thing keeps blowing
cold air in my face.

This might help.

You made this for me?

I thought you'd like to have
a bai jia bei,

just like your sister.

Thanks, Mom.

This is great.

So, are you looking
forward to meeting her?

Yeah, I am.

I wonder if she's looking
forward to meeting me.

BUSTER:
♪ You're in them,
you sh**t them, you make them ♪

♪ It's "Postcards from You!" ♪

This "Postcard from You"
comes from Laura and Emma

in Arlington, Massachusetts.

Hey, come on in.

This is my
friend Emma.
Hi.

Our parents adopted us
in China.

They went from here
all the way to China.

And this is me.

I look way different now.
(laughs)

This is my mom, my dad and me.

This is my mom and dad
on the Great Wall of China.

I'm hungry.
Me, too.

Okay, girls.
Let's go.
Why not?

I like dumplings.

This is a dumpling.

Are those eyes?

Those are eyes.

Bye!
Bye!

Here's a "Postcard from You"
from our friends at UNICEF.

This one comes from
Filmon and David in Sweden.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(music stops)

To see more
"Postcards from You," visit:

(airplane whooshing)

♪ ♪

WOMAN (over speakers):
Soon we'll begin
our descent into Beijing.

Mom, we're almost there!

Oh, my, I feel as if I've been
on this airplane forever.

Dad,

wake up!
Huh? What?

Are they serving breakfast?

O-Or is it dinner?

No, we're landing.

I can't wait to meet Mei Lin.

Will she be at the airport?

No, dear.

It'll be at least
two or three days

before we can
pick her up.

More waiting?

FATHER:
Don't worry.

There'll be lots of sightseeing
to distract us.

(Chinese music playing)

♪ ♪

(slurping loudly)

Now, run along, little fella.

(squeaks)

Hey, this opera
called The Monkey King

has some of the best acrobats
in the world.

It's tomorrow.
Can we go?

I'm not sure, Binky.

We're picking up your sister
tomorrow, remember?

Isn't she pretty?

Such a cute baby.

What if they can't find us?

Or what if they give us
the wrong baby?

(chuckles):
Now, that won't happen.

This agency has done this
lots of times.

They know what they're doing.

Besides, we know
what she looks like.

BINKY:
Oh, yeah.

That's her!

(speaking Chinese)

(continues in Chinese):
...Mei Lin.

Mr. and Mrs. Barnes,

here is Mei Lin.

(crying loudly)

BINKY:
Why is she crying?

Did we do something wrong?

No. She just doesn't
know us yet.

It'll take
a little time.

(stops crying)

BINKY:
Come on, Dad, please?

When will I ever get
a chance to see a real
Chinese opera again?

I don't know.

Mei Lin's had
a busy couple of days.

I think it'll be okay.

Oh, look,
she's falling asleep.

♪ ♪

(lively music begins)

♪ ♪

(crying loudly)

(crying continues)

(stops crying)

(crying loudly)

Maybe we should go.

But it isn't over yet.

Shh!

Look at the Monkey
King, Mei Lin.

Look. See? Monkey.

Like this.

(giggles)

(Mei Lin crying)

She's not hungry.

I've changed her diaper.

Maybe her ears hurt.

Here, let me try
for a while.

(continues crying)

I'm sorry, but could you please
do something about your baby?

Hey, Mei Lin,
look at me.

(giggles softly)

Thank goodness!

Nice going, kiddo!

It's all in the cheeks.

(kids chattering)

And then, all
I do is this.

And she stops crying
just like that!

But it only works
when I do it.

Wow! You have a special gift.

Like Tyler the Cat Psychic
on that show Ordinary People

with Extraordinary
Powers.

ARTHUR:
Buster,

there's no such thing
as a cat psychic.

Oh, yeah?

Then how did Tyler know
that Mr. Jiggles

would only eat
minced mackerel?

You really think
I have a special gift?

It sounds like it.

Hey, maybe
we could get it on tape

and then you could be
on the show.

(several babies crying)

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

Binky, the Human Pacifier!
(applause)

(audience gasping)

(baby crying)

(baby stops crying)

(audience gasping)
(crying)

(yowling)

(stops yowling)

(audience gasps, applause)

ANNOUNCER:
Binky, the Human Pacifier!

Okay, come over tomorrow.

I'll show you how it's done.

BUSTER:
How can you tell
when she's about to cry?

With Kate, it can
happen really fast.

One minute she's fine, and
then suddenly, she's upset.

We'll have to wait it out.

Your turn.

(Mei Lin coughing)

Stand by, Binky.

And... action, Mei Lin!

(toy rattling)

Another false alarm.

What does it take to get a baby
to cry around here?

She'll cry when
she's good and ready.

(squeaks)

I win!
Want to play again?

I don't know.

Maybe we should go.

BUSTER:
We can't
give up now.

I saw a behind-the-scenes
special about that movie,

Penguins Do the
Darnedest Things,

and it took them years
to get them to do

those belly flops
off the iceberg.

(crying loudly)

BUSTER:
Wow, that's loud.

Okay, Binky,
show us your gift.

Mei Lin.

(continues crying)

She doesn't like the camera.

Move back.

Mei Lin?

(continues crying)

(rattling)
(stops crying)

Do you want this?

(giggles softly)

What did you do that for?

I was just trying to help.

I didn't need help.

I was just warming up.

(Mei Lin crying)

(continues
crying)
Mei Lin.

(stops crying)
Hi, Mei Lin!

Come on, Dad.
Let's go this way.

(Mei Lin crying loudly)

Look, Mei Lin.

I'm a dancing moose!
(stops crying)

(crying loudly)

(bell dings)
(stops crying)

Hi, Mei Lin.

What are you looking at?

BINKY:
Banana split,
heavy on the chocolate syrup.

BRAIN:
Tough day, Binky?

BINKY:
It's my sister.

I used to be able to stop her
from crying with a single look.

But now the
magic's gone.

Maybe you need
to try something new.

I've tried everything--

silly hats, funny dances,
animal sounds.

What about
a simple lullaby?

You think that'd work?

Sure. Lullabies
are a proven method
of soothing babies.

And recent studies suggest
that early exposure to music

stimulates brain development.

I'll take this to go.

Good night, sweetheart.

(Mei Lin crying loudly)

BINKY:
Wait!

I know just what to do.

(quietly):
♪ Rock-a-bye, baby ♪

(crying continues)
!
♪ On the treetops ♪

♪ When the wind blows ♪

(crying loudly)
♪ The cradle
will rock! ♪

Uh, Binky,
thanks for your help,

but it's time for you

to go to bed, dear.

(grunts)

(loud crying)

BUSTER:
Whoever can stop the princess
from crying

shall be given the title

of True Brother.

♪ ♪

(Binky grunting)
(crying continues)

Next!

(crying continues)

(clears throat)

(giggles softly)

BINKY:
It's not fair.

He's had practice being
an older brother... twice.

How can I compete with that?

(birds chirping)

We have to go
back to China.

What?
Why?

Because Mei Lin's
not happy here.

She wants to go back
to her real home.

Binky, her real home
is right here.

When we adopted her, we
became her family forever.

But if we go back to China,

m-maybe I could get
my special power back.

O-Or... or maybe

I could get
a new one.

Hey, I have an idea.

Why don't we all go out
for Chinese food tonight?

Would you like that, Binky?

I guess it'll have to do.

Oh, look, it's the Reads!

We should ask them to join us.

Mom, no!

What if Mei Lin wakes up
and starts crying?

(chuckles)

I think the Reads understand
about crying babies.

(Mei Lin sighs)

(coos quietly)

BINKY:
Oh, no!
She's awake!

Don't cry. Please?
I can't take it.

When Arthur's around,

it's like I'm invisible.

You'd probably rather have him
for a brother.

Hey! What'd you do that for?

(laughs)

(blows raspberry)

(blows raspberry)

(laughing)

Hey, Mei Lin,
do it again.

(blows raspberry)

(blows long
raspberry)

(everyone laughs)

I taught her
how to do that.

Isn't it amazing

what brothers and sisters
learn from each other?

I learn a lot from Arthur

because he makes
so many mistakes.

If I want to do something right,

I just do the opposite
of what he does.

D.W.!

What? I'm giving you
a complimentation.

(Mei Lin laughs softly)

(both speaking baby talk)

They're talking
baby talk.

I wonder what they're
saying to each other.

What are those things
on your brother's face?

They're called glasses.

Fascinating.

My brother's the one
with the noodles on his chin.

He's so sweet, but sometimes
I wish he'd realize

that it's not all about him.

You know what I mean?

KATE:
Oh, I sure do.

Arthur loves to play peek-a-boo.

At first it was fun,

but he insists on doing it
over and over.

Kate! Mei Lin!
Kate! Mei Lin!

Peek-a-boo!
Peek-a-boo!

Peek-a-boo!
Peek-a-boo!

Here we go again.

Clap and laugh.
Clap and laugh.

(both laughing)

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ And everybody that you meet ♪

♪ Has an original
point of view ♪

♪ And I say, hey ♪
♪ Hey! ♪

♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ Hey! ♪
♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪
♪ What a wonderful kind
of day ♪

♪ Hey! ♪