07x06 - Pick a Car, Any Car/Jenna's Bedtime Blues

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR:
Hey, D.W.

Hey!

Whoa!

( crash )

( car horns honking )

Now, don't worry.

I'm sure it's just
a minor problem.

I'll have us back
on the road in no time.

As far back as I can remember,
we've always had the same car.

( babbling )

Oh!

( laughing )

( laughing )

Hey, Pal. Come here, boy.

Come here, Pal.

Where are you?

( barks )

( boys laugh )

Come on, Pal!

Wow, I guess you could say
I grew up in this car.

Sure hope Dad can fix it.

D.W.:
See, the car is sick.

We are at
the car doctor.

He'll make it
all better.

This is bad, very bad.

MOM:
What's wrong?

The serpentine belt
is overloading

the transmission
and the motronic
fuel injection.

Can you fix it?

Can I fix it?

Of course I can.

Well... will you?

I don't know.

It's a big job,
and I'm backed up.

How much is this
going to cost?

First, we got
the timing belt,

and then there's
the, uh, head gasket

and-- oh yeah,
the piston rods.

Here you go.

( gasps )

We'll, uh, need
to think about it.

DAD:
We can't afford to fix that car.

It'll cost more than a new one!

We're getting a new car?

No way, D.W.!

Not a new car.

We can afford a used car.

But, hey, it'll be new to us.

A new car.

Arthur,
at the next red light,

could you bring me
more juice?

Mom...

can we get a camper?

Can we, please?

Now, D.W., we need
to get something
smaller than that.

Something much smaller.

Sorry, no room.

( coughing )

( sighs )

D.W.:
Dad...

aren't you worried

some stuff will spill
back there?

No, D.W., I'm not.

( sighs )

What's going to happen
to our car?

It's in bad shape.

If we can't sell it,

we'll probably give it
to the junkyard.

The junkyard?

That's what happens
when cars don't work
anymore.

( dog barking )

( gasps )

( laughs evilly )

No!

( panting )

BUSTER:
Look at the bright
side, Arthur.

You could get
a better car,

like mine,
for instance.

Come on, Arthur!

If we bounce
high enough,

we can touch the roof!

( laughs evilly )

MR. CROSSWIRE:
Today is Saturday.

Know what people do on Saturday?

They buy cars.

Which means on Saturdays,
we sell cars.

Or should I say,
one of us sells cars.

I made it as easy
as I could for you guys.

I gave you
my -minute training course.

I offered you these fabulous
sales incentives.

Can anyone tell me,

what kind of customer is
the best kind of customer?

Uh, I don't know.

The kind
that has to buy a car... today.

Follow me.

Learn from
the master.

MR. CROSSWIRE:
Rule number one:
you're selling a dream.

Well, if it isn't
the Reads,

my favorite family.

David,
how are you?

Jane, it's been
too long.

And little Kate.

Arthur, keeping in shape
for soccer, I see.

D.W., already know
which car you want,

don't you?

You bet I do!

Ed, the reason
we're here...

I know why
you're here--

to buy the car
of your dreams.

The only thing
I don't know is,

which of these
fine automobiles
is that going to be?

That one!
That one!
That one!

I guess we should've
talked about this
before we came.

Well, let's agree
we won't buy a car

unless we all
like it, okay?

Rule number two:

only one person decides
which car they buy,

and that person is me.

MR. CROSSWIRE:
Then we subtract
the "special friends" discount

and we get, bingo!

How do I make
a living

offering prices
like this?

Yikes!
Yikes!

Rule number three:

"Yikes" minus i-k
is "yes."

What's the top
of your price range?

A third of that.

Follow me.

MR. CROSSWIRE:
Pick out the one you love.

She's special,
isn't she?

These seats
aren't as comfy

as the ones
in our car.

You said we all
had to like it.

Sorry, Ed.

We'll come back
next Saturday
and try again.

Till then, we'll make do
with the catering van.

Rule number four:

if you get into trouble,

call for help.

Hi, Arthur.

Want a ride
to school?

Great!

Just Arthur.

MUFFY:
So... this is a pretty nice car,
don't you think?

ARTHUR:
I guess.

MUFFY:
My dad lets me ride

in the cars
from his lot,

but only the most special cars,
like this one.

Say, isn't your family
looking for a new car?

Yes.

Why don't you buy
this one?

It's perfect.

It looks great on you.

I know what you're up to.

Arthur, it's time
to let go of the past.

Cars die;
cars get replaced.

It happens
every single day.

That's why the Crosswires are
here to help you.

You don't understand.

That car was like a member
of our family!

It's a hunk of metal!

Come on, Arthur,
you love this car.

You need this car.

This car will
make you popular.

ARTHUR:
Pull over!

MUFFY:
You'll be sorry,
Arthur Read.

This baby won't be
around for long.

MAN:
I can take it
off your hands

for, uh... $ .

$ ?

I was sure
I could get more...

Trust me.

Nobody will
buy it in this condition.

I'll probably sell it
for scrap metal.

Well, okay, $ .

MAN:
I'll come by
with the truck

to pick it up
tomorrow.

What's wrong, Arthur?

Dad sold the car
to the mechanic.

He's going to take it tomorrow

and then sell it
to the junkyard.

I'll never ride
in it again.

Know what my mom says
when I feel like you?

What?

She says, "When one door closes,

another door opens."

What does that mean?

I don't know.

It never makes me
feel better either.

( something rattles )

BUSTER:
What's that?

I wish I knew.

Then maybe I could
save the car.

Hey, I know
who can tell us

what's making that sound.

Who?

You'll find out.

Meet you here
tomorrow morning.

Have a radio,
a telephone

and plenty of fresh
drinking water
with lemon.

( signal buzzes )

I can't get through.

Keep trying.

( line rings )

MAN ( on phone ):
Hello, you're on Car Talk.

Really? I am?

MAN ( on phone ):
Why, did you call for a pizza?

No, I'm Arthur
from Elwood City!

We drove through there once.

There was a place called
The Sugar Bowl.

They made great
malted milk shakes.

I remember that.

So, Arthur, what's up?

You sound young to be driving.

ARTHUR ( on phone ):
The family car makes a noise.

If I don't find out
what's wrong,

it will go to the junkyard.

Ah, the family car!

Remember the ' Dodge?

With a trunk that could
fit an elephant.

Was that was the one that you
ran out of oil and ruined?

Yes, you never forget
the first one that you ruined.

Anyway, Arthur,
what kind of a sound
is the car making?

Do the sound!
Do the sound!

Um, it's kind of like this.

Ka-kink, ka-kink, ka-kink.

Ahh, the mechanic!

SHOW HOST:
It goes, "Ahh, the mechanic!"

What a car!

No, the mechanic
is outside!

He's taking the car
to the junkyard!

A mechanic making house calls?

This doesn't sound good.

Look, Arthur,
from the sound
you're making,

I can't tell
what's wrong.

Let me try!

( makes rattling noise )

I've always wanted
to do that.

SHOW HOST:
Ha! It sounds like a rattle.

I think you have a rattle
in the exhaust.

ARTHUR:
Dad, wait!

I'm talking to
the Car Talk guys!

The Car Talk guys!

It's some kind of rattle
in the exhaust system.

SHOW HOST:
No, no, no.

Not some kind of rattle.

You have a rattle
in the exhaust system.

You know, those things
babies play with.

Check the tail pipe!

Check the tail pipe.

Check the tail pipe!

The tail pipe?

It doesn't have one.

It's in the back,
below the trunk.

( rattles )

Well, uh, I suppose

that could be the source
of your problem.

You never know.

Mysterious things, cars.

Here, why don't you
hold on to this
for now?

( engine starts )

MOM:
Arthur, I've got
to hand it to you.

You saved us a lot of money.

You deserve a reward.

What'll it be--
pizza, ice cream?

How about we just go
for a drive?

MOM:
Everything okay back there?

ARTHUR:
Yeah, Mom.

It's perfect.

( giggles )

And now...

MAN:
Hi, my name's Chris,

and I'm a mechanic here
at Broadway Bicycle School.

Hi, Chris.

CHRIS:
Hi, Stephan,
what's going on?

He's a good mechanic.

Let's put it up on the stand.

CHRIS:
Stephan came into the bike shop

and was having some problems
with his chain.

First, we move the tire

so we can put
the chain back on.

( grunts )

Okay, we need to pull
the tire back again

to pull the chain tight.

One, two, three.

STEPHAN:
When you go to Chris,
he doesn't just fix your bike.

He teaches you
how to fix your bike.

All right,
good job.

CHRIS:
I want them know what's
happening with their bikes,

so if it happens again, they can
pick up the tools themselves.

Chris...

CHRIS:
Ruth came in, and she had
some brake problems.

Okay, see, your brake pad

is really loose.

RUTH:
I learned how the brake

stops and everything.

And now, when you squeeze
your brake lever,

the brakes aren't tight enough
to actually touch the rim

and stop you.

RUTH:
I like learning
how to fix things.

What side are we
going to use?

I get my hands dirty.

Really squeeze it
good and tight

so it won't come
loose again.

RUTH:
Well, I like my bike and I don't
really want to just waste it

because some things are broken.

Yeah, it feels
much better.

Awesome.

Go ahead and squeeze
the brakes.

Yay, it works!

All right.

CHRIS:
Don't think for one second
that because something breaks,

that it suddenly becomes
garbage.

If people can fix
their own bikes,

then they're going to be
a lot happier.

KIDS:
And now...

Oh, Muffy, let me get

that tray for you.

And I found a lovely table
over here.

Muffy, I made you a handy study
guide for tomorrow's test.

BUSTER:
Everyone's being

strangely nice
to Muffy.

It must be time for
her annual slumber party.

Yuck.

She's probably planning
all sorts of girlie things.

Well, at last year's party

they dressed up in costumes
and jewelry.

( moaning )

FRANCINE:
Oh, no!

The ancient Egyptian
jackal zombies

are blocking
the time portal!

Let's get them!

( moaning )

( girls laughing )

Like I said,
girl stuff.

And her parents arranged

for acrobats from
the Peking Circus to perform.

( gong )

( all gasp )

( girls cheering )

Ah... that's kind of girlie.

( roaring )

ARTHUR:
And they imported
the newest video arcade games!

And there was
an ice cream machine

and a fireworks
and laser show.

And there was...

Okay, okay!

How can I get
my invitation?!

You can't-- it's girls only.

But what if I paint
my nails?

I'll do anything.

You'd be crazy
not to want to go.

I can't believe I'm invited
to Muffy's slumber party.

This is a disaster!

JENNA:
Why was I even invited

to the slumber party?

I didn't think Muffy
liked me that much.

She just needs to get to know
you better.

So I pulled
a few strings.

But what if I can't go?

I've got a badminton tournament
that day.

The party's at night.

Well, maybe I didn't want to go
to her stupid party

in the first place!

FRANCINE:
I don't think she's ever been
to a slumber party.

FERN:
Yeah, she always has
other plans.

Maybe she gets really homesick

and can't sleep without
Mommy and Daddy.

( girls giggle )

I heard she walks
in her sleep,

and one night, she
tried to strangle a cat!

She's bald and has to take off
her wig every night.

If Jenna heard all these rumors,
she'd get really upset.

Besides, I
already know

why she won't go
to Muffy's party.

Because it takes place
at night.

So?

So, when do masked
crime fighters

from other planets
do their best work?

I'd like to be at Muffy's
slumber party,

but night is when
my city needs me,

and no one can know
my true identity as...

Radioactive Squidwoman!

And there's Dr. Doomsday
if I'm not mistaken!

I blame you for my
Pickle Factory accident!

I shall be avenged!

( screaming )

The ink!

The ink!

I can't see!

Hey, guys.

We weren't talking
about you.

We promise.

Hey, what's that
on your hands?

Oh, my pen broke, and
I got ink all over me.

Sure, Jenna.

We understand.

If you're worried about
strangling my cats,
don't worry.

We don't have any.

Whatever you've heard about me,
it's just not true!

Does that mean you can come
to the party tomorrow?

Sure, I... can't wait.

I'm doomed.

If I wear this thing
to the party,

I'll be laughed at
the rest of my life!

Honey, it's nothing
to be ashamed of.

It's a medical problem that
millions of kids have.

If there's really millions,

then why haven't
I met any?

You probably have,
but like you,

they're worried
that they'll be teased,

so they keep it a secret.

I can't believe it.

I help coach pee-wee soccer,
I won Athlete of the Year,

and I still wet the bed!

Only from time to time.

And wearing that alarm
is helping you improve.

But if I leave it
at home,

I'll have to bring
this old diaper,

and they'll laugh at me
even more.

Jenna, it's not a diaper,
it's a pull-up.

You just don't know
how hard this all is!

Believe me, I do.

And I never believed
my dad either

when he said
I'd grow out of it.

But I did,
and you will, too.

But when?

ARTHUR:
And Jenna Morgan's won the gold
medal in downhill skiing.

A heartwarming story,
isn't it?

Indeed.

Though afflicted with
nocturnal enuresis,

which sounds like a horrible
disease, she heroically...

Hey, does anyone know
what nocturnal enuresis means?

"Nocturnal enuresis."

Nocturnal means "at night,"

and enuresis means
"involuntary urination."

Francine, Jenna Morgan's nothing
but a bed-wetter!

( gasps )

( all gasp )

( gasps )

BUSTER:
Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Career of Skier
Now All Downhill!

Morgan Wakes Up Wet!

( alarm buzzing )

( gasps )

( alarm buzzing )

You can always
call me,

and I'll come
and pick you up.

I can't.

But maybe if I hide this pull-up
in my pillowcase,

I can put it on
when everyone's asleep

You must be Miss Morgan.

The girls are expecting you
in the game room.

JENNA:
Wow, great party.

I'm so glad I came.

Too bad it's
almost bedtime.

Are you kidding?

Why do you think we drink
so much cola?

So we can stay up
all night!

Three more drinks please!

Help!

We're all going to drown!

MUFFY:
Captain...

you said the Titanic was
unsinkable!

This is kind of rough
on a full stomach.

How many colas
have you had?

Seven.

If I drank that much caffeine,

I'd be peeing all night.

What do you mean?

Caffeine's a diuretic.

So it's low-calorie?

Not "dietetic."

"Diuretic."

Drink a lot
of caffeine,

and your bladder
suddenly...

( groans )

FRANCINE:
Captain!

You're abandoning ship!

GIRLS:
Friends we are
and friends we trust

Our deepest secrets
now tell we must

And all that's said,
it's understood

We'll keep inside
the Sisterhood!

MUFFY:
Don't hold back!

She who reveals
the darkest secret

wins a special Sisterhood prize!

Okay, Francine,
you first.

Well, near the end
of the soccer championship,

right before I scored...

JENNA ( thinking ):
Here's your chance.

We're all friends, and it's
nothing to be ashamed of.

Okay, Prunella,
your turn.

Well, last month,
when my sister hypnotized me,

I discovered that,
in a previous life,

I broke
a priceless...

( thinking ):
I'll say it, and
they'll all understand.

All right, Jenna,
your turn.

Um, well, I... I...

I have a crush on George.

George?!

( girls exclaiming )

No, it's true!

Uh, how I dream

of George and me together!

And maybe one day he,
or his dummy, will notice me.

FRANCINE:
Wow.

That is a deep
and dark secret.

You must really trust us.

You definitely win
the Sisterhood prize
with that one!

And the prize is...

to sleep on the bed with me,
instead of the floor!

And did I mention
it's a water bed?

PRUNELLA:
You deserve it, Jenna.

You've been a really
trusting friend.

I forgot my pillow!

There's pillows
in the bed already.

Look-- a private television.

And ten different
wave functions!

This one's called

Choppy Waters
off Nantucket.

I have to use
the bathroom.

I'll be right back.

( girls snoring )

JENNA ( thinking ):
Five more hours till morning.

I mustn't fall asleep.

Hey, maybe TV will help.

MAN ( on TV ):
Our new quilted diaper
stops leaks.

This is the bagpipe's bladder,

and a wee hole
is making
a wee leak,

so we'll put on a wee patch.

Can you say P?

All together now, P!

( gasps )

Wait-- it's dry!

I made it through the night!

MUFFY:
Come on, Jenna,
time for breakfast!

( elephant trumpets )

MUFFY:
Climb up!

( elephant trumpets )

MAN FROM TV AD:
Watch the wee stream,

my wee lassie.

Watch out, lassies,
the river is rising!

This is way too strange.

It's a dream!

Oh, no!

Hey! These sheets are wet.

I'm so sorry!

It's all my fault.

I never should...

Look, it's my brooch.

I think there's
some tape in here.

Hey, where are you going?

To the bathroom.

It's nearly morning.

I know I can make it now.

Hey, Jenna, wake up!

Hey, wake up yourself.

( Francine and Sue Ellen
snoring )

MUFFY:
Ow! Get out!

( girls laughing )

( girls stop laughing )

( gasps )

A diaper?!

Hey, is there a baby here?

If she confesses, maybe we'll
give her a bottle!

Isn't that a little harsh?

It's just a pull-up.

Yeah, I used to wear them
all the time.

My cousin wears them,
and he's in the sixth grade.

Come on, guys, it's time
for breakfast!

Double chocolate chip
pancakes!

What got into you?

You might have hurt
somebody's feelings.

I didn't.

How can you be so sure?

Because... well,
it's my pull-up.

My actual deep, dark secret is
that sometimes I wet the bed.

You mean you're not really
in love with George?

Of course not!

I was afraid
if I told the truth,

you'd all think I was a baby.

A baby?

You're the only one
who can beat me in sports.

Besides, I used to wear
one of these myself.

George has been acting
kind of strange lately.

You don't think word
got out, do you?

Of course not.

The lips of the Sisterhood
are sealed.

GEORGE:
Um, hi, Jenna.

Wally wanted to give you
this flower.

To think I was worried about
my real secret getting out.

KIDS:
And now...

BROWN:
The idea for Pal came

when we wanted to get a pet
at our house,

and I invented a pet
that Arthur could have.

I start with this oval shape,
and then I give him eyes

and a little triangle
for his nose.

And Pal's a pretty happy dog,
so we'll make him smiling.

And we'll add his ears.

Now we'll give him his collar,
and he's off for an adventure.

( kids laughing )

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!