02x08 - Arthur vs. the Piano/The Big Blow-Up

[bunniefuu]

♪ Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪

♪ Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view. ♪

( laughs )

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ You got to listen
to your heart ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪

♪ Get together and make things
better by working together ♪

♪ It's a simple message
and it comes from the heart ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ And I say hey! ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other. ♪

Hey!

♪ What a wonderful kind of day ♪

♪ Hey! What a wonderful
kind of day. ♪

Hey!

ARTHUR:
Hey, D.W.

Hey!

Whoa!

( crash )

I think I could do almost
any job when I grow up.

I could be a teacher
like Mr. Ratburn.

Well, not exactly like him.

No homework again, class!

( cheering )

I could be an accountant
like Mom.

Mr. Crosswire, I got
you a big tax refund.

Arthur, you're a genius!

Or a caterer, like Dad.

Incoming!

MAN ( over loudspeaker ):
He's done it!

Arthur Read has
successfully completed

history's biggest
pepperoni pizza!

Yeah, I can imagine
being just about anything

except a piano player.

( discordant notes )

( barks )

Hi.

( band playing tune )

Very good, everyone!

( plays "Shave
and a Haircut" )

( clears throat )

Is everybody ready for their
first solo performance?

Tomorrow you perform
for the students.

And next Friday

the big recital
for all the parents.

Practice, practice, practice!

( bell rings )

But have fun.

Don't forget, music is art.

It's like
ear-painting!

If I get paint in my ears,
mom gets mad.

I speak from experience.

I didn't mean...

Uh, it's like
ear-paintings
with no paint.

Think of it as music.

Oh, right.

Good one.

( laughs )

Want to go skating?

I need to practice

and make sure
my spit valve is clean.

Remember last time?

( inhales deeply )

( chuckles nervously )

Sorry, sir.

Shouldn't you
practice, too?

You have a solo.

I know my part inside-down
and upside-out.

I wish I did.

Then I wouldn't have
to lug this home.

Francine,
want to skate?

No, I have to tape up
my drumsticks

so they can't
break this time.

Sorry, sir.

I want it right.

Everyone will
be watching.

Binky!

Don't ask.

I have to do
tongue exercises.

Last time,
I got tongue-tied.

( plays a clinker )

Wasn't there
something else?

Whoa!

Sorry, sir.

You better
practice, Arthur.

But I know it!

( D.W. hiccups )

Can you do that
somewhere else?

I'm trying
to read.

( hiccups )

I can't ( hiccup ) stop!

What if I
never stop?

My head might get
loose and pop off!

Have you had them long?

I don't know.

I can't tell time! ( hiccup )

Getting scared
can cure hiccups.

But nothing scares me
( hiccup ).

Oh, Mom accidentally threw away
your "Crazy Bus" CD.

But that's my favorite!

How could she?

Hey, they stopped.

You're welcome!

Have a good sleep
so you're ready

for your recital tomorrow.

No sweat.

I know it all.

( playing "Fuer Elise" )

( hits a wrong note )

( gasps )

( audience laughs )

( hits another wrong note )

( booing )

Hey, you stink!

BOY:
Extra, extra!

Local boy plays wrong note!

D.W.?

Arthur?!

No one's seen you since they
kicked you out of school

For ( hiccup ) wrecking
the recital last year.

I've looked for a job
but I can't get one

because everyone knows
I played the wrong note.

( hiccups )

Are those the same hiccups?

I'll help get
rid of them.

Get rid of them?

No way!

These hiccups
made me ( hiccup ) a star!

This is the premiere

of my newest
( hiccup ) movie.

The Hiccup Kid?

I'm a gaz...( hiccup )
...illionaire!

I have to go inside now.

( hiccups )

Call me sometime.

But I don't have a phone!

Gee, thanks, mister.

I know you.

You're that kid
who played D-flat

instead of D-sharp!

( moans )

It was just a dream.

That could never happen...

As long as I don't make
a mistake today.

( Buster playing
"Flight of the Bumblebee" )

( applause )

( lisping ):
That song has too many notes.

Our next performer, Arthur Read.

( applause )

MAN:
You're that kid
who played D-flat!

BUSTER:
Hey, you stink!

Is anything wrong?

I feel sick.

I don't think
I should play.

No problem, dear.

Sue Ellen,
you're on.

One, two, three, four.

One, two,
three, four.

I bet now you wish
you'd practiced.

I didn't need to.

You should before
next week's recital

for the parents.

That's right.

I have to do it again.

Binky, you're next.

Me and my tongue are ready!

( hiccups )

This isn't ( hiccup ) working!

If they don't stop

your head's going
to pop off for sure.

I'll catch it, D.W.

Arthur, they
( hiccup )
came back.

Hold your breath

and count
backwards
from .

... ...

What comes before ?

Hmm, one, two,
five, nine...

( hiccups )

( playing "Fuer Elise" )

You don't need practice.

That's what I've been saying.

Why didn't you
play that way
at school?

Because what
if I made a mistake?

You don't
need practice.

You need
confidence.

You need to walk up
to that piano

and say, "I'm going to play you

and you're going
to sound great!"

Show it who's boss.

One wrong note

and you're toothpicks!

And you've got to look like
a musician, like this.

Ow, that hurts my face.

Maybe you need
a casual attitude.

Start with a joke.

A joke to play
on the piano?

What about this?

( playing "Shave
and a Haircut" )

( D.W. hiccups )

That was great!

What key did you hit?

I didn't...

( hiccups )

( hiccups )

( hiccups )

If only you could
practice playing

for an audience.

That's it!

A spoonful
of peanut butter

chewed slowly
always cures
the hiccups.

It worked!

Grandma, you're
so smart!

Now my head
won't pop off!

( playing "Fuer Elise" )

Arthur, you played it
beautifully.

That's only because
it was for you.

You want to hear me play.

Do you remember when
I took you to the circus?

You were so excited
before anything even happened.

Yeah!

Everyone was.

They all came
to enjoy the show.

The people who come
to hear you

are just as excited.

They're not against you.

Really?

Yes... and if you get nervous

just remember I'm out there
and I love hearing you play.

( "Flight of the Bumblebee"
plays )

I hope you practiced
this time.

You feeling
better today?

So far...

( applause )

( panting )

( lisping ):
That's it.

Next time,
I play "Jingle Bells."

BUSTER:
Show that piano
who's boss.

"One bad note
and you're toothpicks!"

Do it, do it.

Uh-oh, he's not moving.

Sue Ellen, better
get ready to go on.

Francine, give
him a chance.

( swallows hard )

( playing "Fuer Elise" )

( thinking ):
I'm almost all done.

I'm going make it...

( hits a clinker )

( plays final notes )

I wrecked it! I wrecked it!

I'm a human recital wrecker!

( applause )

Bow-- take a bow.

That was great!

But I wrecked the end!

What are you
talking about?

You're being nice.

Didn't you hear that mistake?

I didn't hear a mistake.

Hey, that D-flat
you played at the end.

I knew it was obvious.

I wreck...

Very much how
Thelonious Monk
would have done it.

You have some mean
jazz chops, my man.

...And nobody
even noticed
my big mistake.

It was only big to you.

The audience
doesn't hear mistakes.

They just hear music.

I wanted to see Arthur mess up.

I guess Grandma
will have to wait

to see you mess up
your preschool play!

( hiccups )

Oh, no.

Keep back!
I know what to do!

Stand on your head

and count backwards
from a kazillion

then look in the mirror
and scare yourself...

( Arthur hiccups )

Brain and Francine
are great friends

but don't talk sports
with them.

Hockey players are best.

They skate
while they play.

But could a hockey
player play golf?

Yes.

While driving a car
miles an hour?

ANNOUNCER ( whispering ):
This is not an easy putt.

He needs to concentrate.

BRAIN:
Aaagh!

ANNOUNCER:
He's in the lake.

That's a one-stroke penalty.

Want to hear
their best argument?

Who's the best
athlete in school?

Easy, it's me.

Just for accuracy, it is I.

It's me!

It is I!

Me!

I!

This could

go on a while.

( screams )

CHILDREN:
Come on, Francine!

Come on, Francine!

( children cheering )

We haven't lost yet!

Next, the
championship!

Indubitably!

( cheering )

Nobody can beat the team
with Francine and the Brain!

Let me get a picture
for school!

We need one more win

and we're
in the play-offs!

Let's get out
and practice!

Arthur! I'm open!

BRAIN:
Out of bounds!

Out of bounds!

No! Look at my foot!

Your foot
was on the line!

No way,
you're cheating.

I don't
need to cheat.

You're cheating.

, ...

, ....

I wish I'd brought a book.

( yawning )

I didn't!

You did!

Did not!

Let's finish the game, guys.

Yeah, my skull's getting sore.

Why don't you
just ask somebody?

Okay, you saw
what happened, Arthur.

Make the call.

At first
it looked like...

Come on,
he wears glasses.

You can't trust what he sees!

Hey, Arthur is
honest and trustworthy.

There's no better
kid in school.

So tell her she
was out of bounds.

Whatever you
say goes

even if it's because
boys stick together.

But then it looked...

Oh, sticking up
for your friend.

Let him speak, Brain!

Go ahead, Arthur.

WOMAN:
Binky!

Aw, I've got to go
home for dinner.

Well, there
goes the ball.

Game's over.

So, I guess
it doesn't matter
who's right anymore...

I better go home, too.

And I couldn't tell
if she was in or out.

But they'll forget
all about it.

I need you
to help me write
a letter to Santa.

In May?

He gets too many
letters in December.

I want to beat the rush.

D.W., would you...

Shh! I'm thinking.

Hmm... Okay, ready!

Dear Santa,
is it tough being

the world's
most handsome man?

( groans )

It's nice to start
with something positive.

It's just that you hear
nice things so often.

Oh, well, thank you.

Santa, there were just
a few little problems

with last year's presents...

BUSTER:
Francine and the
Brain are still mad.

Really?

Muffy, would you
hand me my pencil?

Why don't you ask the Brain?

I wouldn't touch it.

I might catch
whatever it is

that makes her so...
so Francine-y.

Hmm!

Hmm!

RATBURN:
This is a speed test.

Pass the questions around.

And... begin.

Here you go,
Francine.

She only gave me one.

Ask your friend,
the Brain.

Brain... psst!

RATBURN:
No talking

during the test!

Hey, I didn't get a...

Time's... up.

...test.

Francine and Brain
better make up soon

or I'll never pass math.

( Francine and Brain straining )

Let go!
I got it first!

But I dibsed it!

You think
you're so smart

but you don't even
know how dibs work!

Ohh...

I hope Francine
and Brain

aren't too mad
to play together.

They wouldn't let this
hurt our chance to win.

I'm open!

Arthur!

( screams )

( groans )

Why didn't you
pass it to me?!

FRANCINE:
Is that the
wind blowing?

I don't hear
or see anyone.

( moaning )

I think I sprained
my tailbone.

If Francine
and Brain stay mad

we'll never win again.

And the play-offs!

We have to remind them
they're friends.

Maybe if they played
something that
was just fun.

Ping-pong is fun!

Serve, Arthur.

Oh, yeah?

( straining and grunting )

Well, they're
playing together.

Take that!

Back over
to you!

Whose point?

I don't know.

The ball appears
to have vaporized.

I think
they're having fun.

( screams )

He can't be,
he's on a stick!

Do you have
any sixes?

Go fish yourself!

Any other ideas?

I'm pretty sure
they'll work it out.

But the play-offs
are next week!

D.W.:
Arthur!

I need a new
letter for Santa.

This time I want
to include prices.

Can you help me
with foreign currency?

and use the savings
to get me more presents.

If we don't
win a game soon

Out of the play-offs?

( gags )

I think that
convinced them.

( sighs )

Help!

Come on, Francine!

( screams )

ARTHUR:
I'm getting
k*lled out there.

I can't play
another game.

We only have
one game left... ow!

And we have to win.

BOTH:
We're doomed.

We need to work
on my Santa letter!

D.W., why don't you
just call Santa?

A letter is better
because I can get
my thoughts organized

That's it!

The little girl whose heart may
be broken at Christmas-- Hey!

You don't want
to break up the
friendship.

when you two
play together?

I've got Brain's.

"Everyone knows you
are very, very smart..."

"But Adam-ant-ly refuse to
apologize because you're wrong."

BOTH:
Oh...

Not if we rewrite them.

and you
write Brain's.

he spelled "soccer"
with two Ks and a Q.

What?

"I want blue
footie pajamas

No way!

That's my sister's
Christmas list.

Francine's letter is
on the back... somehow.

( children cheering )

( cheering )

Your letter was right:
even if we disagree

we can still be friends.

Yeah-- what?

BRAIN:
Arthur!

we know you
wrote these.

after the play-offs.

FRANCINE:
We're mad at you,
not each other.

What a buttinsky.

You spelled "soccer"
with two Ks and a Q?

It's two Qs and a K right?

♪ What a wonderful
kind of day ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ Listen to the beat ♪

♪ Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪

♪ Believe in yourself ♪

♪ For that's the place
to start ♪

♪ If we could learn
to work and play ♪

♪ And get along
with each other ♪

♪ Hey! ♪