- ♪ Crashing through
the crowded halls ♪
♪ Dodging girls
like Ping-Pong balls ♪
♪ Just to reach the bathroom
on time ♪
♪ Leaping over laundry piles
♪ Diapers you can smell
for miles ♪
♪ Guy's got to do
what he can to survive ♪
- ♪ In the Loud house
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Duck, dodge, push,
and shove ♪
♪ Is how we show our love
- ♪ In the Loud house,
in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ One boy and ten girls
♪ Wouldn't trade it
for the world ♪
- ♪ Loud Loud Loud
♪ Loud house
- Poo-poo.
[mysterious music]
♪
[bell rings]
- I hear the screams
are so loud,
you can't even
hear yourself scream.
- I hear it's so scary
they give you diapers
before you go in.
- I hear a deranged clown
chases you with barbecue tongs.
- What are you guys
talking about?
- The Royal Woods
House of Terror
just opened for the season
and we're finally
old enough to go.
Check it out:
Zombies, vampires, mutants,
all waiting to pounce on you
the minute you step inside.
- Dude, don't bother
telling them about it.
They'll never go.
Everyone knows they're the
biggest chickens in our class.
- Oh, yeah?
Then how come we already
got tickets to it, Chandler?
- We did?
Oh, right, we did.
I totally forgot
because I'm so excited
and not at all terrified.
[whimpers]
[loud thud]
[both scream]
- Oh, really?
When are you going?
- Uh, tomorrow night.
- Cool, then we'll get our
tickets for tomorrow night too.
That way,
we can all go together.
[chuckles]
- Great, looking
forward to it.
- I'll bet you are.
- Oh, man,
what did we just do?
How are we gonna get
through the House of Terror?
- I won't even get up
to pee at night
if my Blarney night light
isn't on.
I better call Dr. Lopez.
[phone line ringing]
Oh, no, it went to voicemail.
[breathing heavily]
- Wait, I've got
an idea.
Maybe we can toughen ourselves
up before tomorrow night
so we'll be able to handle
the House of Terror,
and I know who can help us.
- [exhales]
- So what do you say?
Are you up for scaring
the daylights out of us?
- Yeah!
- I'm in.
- Lucy, you're our resident
scream queen.
What do you suggest?
- I've got a few ideas.
[thunder crashes]
[knocks on door]
We're ready, Lincoln.
- We can do this.
- Totally.
both: Clincoln McCloud.
[both gasp]
[teeth chattering]
- Uh, it doesn't
look so bad.
Thanks for
the encouraging pat, buddy.
- You too.
both: That's not me.
all: Boo!
[both scream]
both: Ugh.
- Whoops.
- Whoopsie.
[teeth chattering]
- This is my fault.
I gave you
too much fright too soon.
- [chattering]
It's okay.
- [chattering]
You m-m-m-meant well.
- We'll dial the scares
back a little for round two.
- Okay, Luce,
we're ready to try again.
- What have you got for us?
- Actually, I just
ordered you guys a pizza.
[doorbell rings]
Oh, and there it is.
- Pizza?
Not afraid of that.
- Me neither.
both: P-p-p-pizza!
[both laugh]
[chainsaw whirs]
[both scream]
- Oof.
- Oh.
[eyeballs rattle]
- Oh, too much?
[teeth chattering]
- Sorry, I'll dial it
back some more.
You guys better now?
Okay, let's
try this again.
- Lincoln, Clyde,
I'm glad you're here.
I have a bone to pick with you.
Or should I say 206 bones?
[evil laugh]
[both scream]
[both groan]
- Sorry.
Here's an easy one.
All you have to do
is go down in the basement.
- We can definitely
do this.
Though it sure is
dark down there.
[stair creaks]
[both scream]
- Sorry.
All you have to do is go
in my room and open the coffin.
- Brightly lit empty room?
We got this one.
It's empty.
- Phew, that
wasn't so bad.
- I knew you could do it.
[both scream]
both: Whoa!
- Sorry.
Okay, even less scary.
Got it.
- [howls]
[both scream]
- Lily, wrong time to break out
your new wolf jammies.
[teeth chattering]
- Sigh.
- Hey, guys.
- What's the word?
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Uh, why are you
wrapped in blankets?
And, Lincoln,
why are you holding Bun Bun?
- Lucy's been trying
to prep us to go to
the House of Terror tonight.
- We told some classmates
we'd meet them there,
and we don't wanna
look like chickens.
- Dudes, I worked at the House
of Terror a few seasons ago.
I used to haul people
to the first aid tent
when they passed out.
- Passed out?
- Yeah, I'd just throw 'em
in the wheelbarrow.
- Wheelbarrow?
- Tell you what,
why don't I call
and see if any of my friends
still work there?
I'm sure they'd let us
take a tour of the place
with all the lights on.
Maybe that would help
make you less scared.
both: That'd be awesome!
[thunder crashes]
[creepy music]
- This place
doesn't look so bad, Clyde.
- Yeah, we got this.
Why, hello there,
Mr. Squirrel.
High five, boop.
- You guys
ready for the tour?
[both scream]
- We got to stop
doing that.
[bird caws]
- You can do this,
little dudes.
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
[shoes squeak]
- Ah!
both: Spider webs!
- Check it,
they're just string.
both: Huh.
[both scream]
- They're just
paper-mache.
Styrofoam.
Food coloring.
Toilet paper.
Yogurt with
fruit mixed in.
See, it's all
special effects.
- I guess you're right.
[both scream]
- That's not!
- No, it's just Mrs. Bernardo,
my old drama teacher.
Hey, Mrs. B.
- Bobby, what a nice surprise.
What brings you back
to Royal Woods?
- Just giving
my friends a tour.
- Hello.
both: Hello.
- Tell your mom
we miss her at bingo.
- Will do.
- [snarling]
[both scream]
- Relax.
That's just Mr. Wisniewski,
the crossing guard.
He likes jobs where
he can be on his feet.
- [blows whistle]
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- And, finally, this is what
we in the haunted house biz
call a bail out door.
- Ooh.
- Things get too scary tonight,
you can just run outside here.
- Thanks, Bobby, but I
don't think we'll need it.
- Yeah, this place
is just special effects
and friendly town folk.
It's not scary at all.
- You really
saved our butts, Bobby.
Can we treat you
to a thank-you Flippee?
- Oh, you bet.
But before we leave,
I want to go say hi
to the flesh-eating mutant.
He's my old T-ball coach.
[thunder crashes]
- We've totally
got this, Clyde.
- Totally.
- Aw, an encouraging squirrel
high five.
Boop.
[bird caws]
- Miss Bernardo?
- Aren't you supposed
to be inside
getting ready
to scare people?
- Not anymore.
Management just let
the entire staff go.
- What? Why?
- Word got back to them
that you kids took a tour today
and didn't find the place
very scary.
both: Oh. [chuckles]
Ugh.
- So they decided to do
a complete overhaul.
Apparently it's
100 times scarier now.
- It's scarier
and we got everyone fired?
This is a double bagger.
[breathing heavily]
- [laughs]
Don't worry about me, honey.
This gives me more time to work
on my ♪ one woman show
- What are we gonna do?
We'll never
get through this.
- Maybe we can get out of here
before Chandler shows up.
- What up, chumps?
- Dang it.
- You guys actually made it.
I didn't think you would.
[door creaks]
After you.
[both gulp]
- Sure is dark in here.
- [cackles]
[both screaming]
- [screams]
- We'll go this way.
You chumps go that way.
See you chickens
at the exit.
- [screams]
- [screams]
[both scream]
- [growls]
[both scream]
[both breathing heavily]
- Brains.
[both screaming]
- We gotta find
that bail out door.
- My thoughts exactly.
[all screaming]
- That was the scariest
experience of my life.
- I need a hug.
- Well, who's gonna hug me?
- Bring it in, dude.
[both screaming]
[both breathing heavily]
- Oh, man,
the bail out door
was much farther
than I thought.
- They really need to work
on their signage.
- Hey, guys,
how'd you get out before us?
- Oh, well, uh...
- We took the bail out door.
That place was way too scary.
Ow.
- Guess you guys
made it all the way through.
[both scream]
- Yeah, I guess we did.
- Are you gonna rat us out
to everyone at school
for being chickens?
- No, that wouldn't be cool.
- Oh, you guys are all right.
I'm sorry for always
messing with you.
- Forget it.
- Yeah, we're good.
- Hey, you guys want to go
to Gus' for some pizza?
- Sure.
- Sounds great.
- Wow, friends
with Chandler.
Who would have thunk it?
- Do you think we should tell
him we only made it to the end
because we couldn't find
the bail out door?
both: Nah.
- That'll be
our little secret.
Aw, he's wearing
a crow costume.
- Are you trying
to scare us too?
You cute little--
[both scream]
[dramatic music]
♪
- [gasps]
[screams]
- Lucy, I need you to show me
how to do that cat eye again.
I'm trying
a "night on the town" look.
- Give me one second.
- [gasps]
I didn't know you had a doll.
She--she's breathtaking.
Where did you get her?
- I found her in one
of Great-Grandma Harriet's
trunks in the attic.
- Well, you absolutely must
allow me to throw her
a "welcome to the family"
tea party.
- Oh, sorry,
Lola, but no.
She's really fragile.
I have to take
special care of her.
I spent all day making
this coffin to keep her safe.
- A doll this beautiful
deserves to be played with,
not left in a creepy coffin.
I can keep her safe, I swear.
- It's not that
I don't trust you,
but I know things can get
a little crazy in your room.
- [scoffs]
That is not true.
- Yeah!
Reel it in, you guys!
[loud crash]
Sorry, Lise.
Sorry, Lols.
Broke another teacup.
Actually, make that
the whole set.
- Sorry, Lola.
The answer is no.
- [groans]
I have to find a way
to play with that doll.
- Ahem, Lucy,
may I present to you
"Reasons Lola Loud Should
be Trusted with Lucy's Doll."
- Save your breath.
Lucy's not here.
She's at a poetry convention
all day.
Oh, that means there's
an extra breakfast downstairs.
Dibs on Lucy's bacon!
- Gone all day?
Hmm.
You're even more beautiful
than I remembered.
Oh, and you look
so bored in there,
no one to gossip with over
Earl Grey and crumpets.
You know, we could have
a really great tea party
and I could get you back into
this coffin before Lucy's home.
Mr. Sprinkles, Eunice, you two,
please welcome--
oh, we need a name for you.
How about Lady Rosalind
Cordelia Annabella
Pembrookington,
or Rosie for short.
Tea?
[humming]
I'll make it extra sweet
for you.
[gasps]
Oh, no.
Oh, no, Lucy's gonna k*ll me.
Maybe it's not that noticeable?
Gaa, of course it is!
[breathing heavily]
Don't panic.
You can fix this.
[bell dings]
I know!
Come on, Mr. Sprinkles.
I need emotional support.
No offense, Eunice.
You're a delight,
but I just don't think we have
that kind of relationship.
Rosie, you just sit there
and chat with Mr. Sprinkles
while I wash your dress.
[gasps]
[screams]
It soaked through!
[groans]
Well, I suppose your body
can go in the wash
but your delicate
porcelain head can't.
So I'll just...
[groaning]
[gasps]
- Oh, Rosie, I'm so sorry.
Mr. Sprinkles, what do I do?
Hmm.
There we go.
That should hold.
I don't know,
what do you guys think?
Ugh, I know
it looks bad, Eunice,
but as my friend, you aren't
supposed to say that.
I'm sorry.
I'm having a day.
Maybe I can just cover
the crack with her hair?
[gasps]
Ah, could this possibly
get any worse?
[screams]
How did this happen?
Great, the one day of the year
Lana washes her hat.
[glass breaking]
Well, this is
beyond fixing so...
[laughs]
Hmm.
I need a ride
to the antique district now,
no questions asked.
- Wait, do you need to go
tinkle before we leave?
- What did I just say?
But yes.
Circle the block.
[tires squeal]
What do you think,
Mr. Sprinkles?
If I change the eyeliner,
curl the hair,
and file down the teeth,
she just might pass
for the original.
I'll take her.
And all of those.
[thunder crashes]
That should do it.
[gasps]
Lincoln, hello.
Lovely weather
we're having.
- Uh, yeah, I guess.
Hey, have you seen my glue?
- Pfft, why would I have?
What do you think, I go around
swiping people's glue?
- You don't have
to get mad about it.
- I'm not mad!
You were once so beautiful,
but now I have
to get rid of you.
Sorry, Rosie, but if Lucy
finds you, I'm toast.
Here, in case you get thirsty.
[birds tweeting]
Ah.
Good morning, sweet princes
and princesses.
[gasps]
[screams]
Rosie, how did you
get back up here?
I put you
in the crawl space.
Maybe I just dreamed it.
Yeah, it was probably that
cheese I ate right before bed.
Always gives me nightmares.
[dog whines]
You saw nothing.
[dog whimpers]
I know, and it's like
just because you have
a beautiful mane
does not make you
the fashion police, am I right?
I'm right.
[screams]
What are you doing here?
I buried you, and that
was not a cheese dream.
[gasps]
You're haunted.
[thunder crashes]
[shudders]
Of course you are.
You belong to Lucy.
Well, my little friend,
you picked the wrong person
to haunt.
Sayonara, spooky.
Good luck getting back
from the dump.
- Hey, Lols,
how's it going?
- Ugh, Lincoln,
what's with the third degree?
It's none of your business
how it's going.
- Why are you so mad?
- I'm not mad!
[screams]
Seriously?
Okay, that's it.
I am taking care of this
creepy doll once and for all!
- Hey, Lols,
where are you off to?
- Ugh, why are you
everywhere?
Shouldn't you be playing
with Clyde or something?
- Clyde's at his weekly
therapy appointment.
He invited me, but...
[tires squeal]
- Ahh.
- Flip, you old scoundrel,
you still got that boat?
- Well, depends
who's asking.
You with the taxman?
- No, I'm six.
- Ah, then yep.
What can I do you for?
- I need a ride
to Tall Timbers Pond, midnight,
on the side where
the dock lights are burned out.
- Ah, it's one
of those kinds of trips.
Well, I can do it,
but it's gonna cost you.
- Money's no object, Flip.
I've lost a lot
of baby teeth lately.
- [groaning]
How much farther?
You know, I charge
by the nautical mile.
- This is fine right here.
So long, sister.
What are you lookin' at?
- Nothing.
Ah, I don't want
any trouble.
- Keep your yap shut
and you won't get any.
Now row.
[bird caws]
Hmm?
[gasps]
[thunder crashes]
[gasps]
[screams]
[breathing heavily]
Lucy!
- Hey, Lola.
Glad you're here.
I just drew the ace of wands,
which means you're going--
- Never mind that.
We need to barricade the door.
Help me move this dresser.
- Uh, want to tell me
what's going on?
- [sighs]
Okay.
I took your creepy doll
and then I broke her
and now she's haunting me.
I'm so sorry, Lucy.
You told me not to touch her,
and I should have
listened to you.
- You broke her?
She looks fine to me.
- Uh, that--yeah,
that's not your doll.
That is!
[thunder crashes]
- Whoa, how did you
even do this?
- Well, it began
as a simple tea stain,
and then things kind of
progressed from there.
[sighs]
I'm a terrible sister.
- No, you're not.
I forgive you.
It's not like you
did this on purpose.
- Thank you, Luce.
You're really nice.
So can you please get her
to stop haunting me and stuff?
- She was probably
just haunting you
because you took her away
from her rightful owner.
Now that
you've given her back,
I'm sure
she'll leave you alone.
- Phew.
Well, that's a relief.
And sorry again for wrecking
your doll and stuff.
- Wrecking her?
Now that I know
she can haunt people,
I like her even better.
- Of course she does.
[mouse squeaks]
[frog croaks]
- Whoa, guys, wrong way!
[frog croaks]
Sorry, Lynn.
I'm still training 'em.
- No big.
They probably smell
the sandwich I left down there.
[mouse squeaks]
Whoop, looks like Lola's doll
got out of our room again.
- That's not Lola's.
That's Lucy's.
- It is?
Oh, well, I feel like a dummy,
'cause I kept finding it
in all these weird places
and returning it to our room.
First it was
in the crawl space,
then buried in the backyard,
then at the dump.
I even found it at the bottom
of Tall Timbers Pond
when I was visiting
my fish friends.
- Weird, how'd it get
to all those places?
- I don't know, Lynn.
How do boogers get made?
Some stuff is
just unexplainable.
- Yeah, true that.
- Hey, you guys better share!
Dibs on the pickles!
- ♪ Cramped inside
this tiny space ♪
♪ May sound bad
but ain't the case ♪
♪ In the Loud house
- ♪ Loud house
- ♪ Duck and dodge
and push and shove ♪
♪ That's the way we show
our love in the Loud house ♪
- ♪ Loud house
♪ Laundry piles
stacked up high ♪
♪ Hand-me-downs
that make me cry ♪
♪ Stand in line
to take a pee ♪
♪ Never any privacy
♪ Chaos with 11 kids
♪ That's the way
it always is ♪
♪ In the Loud house
03x29 & 03x30 - Jeers for Fears/Tea Tale Heart
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.
Series revolves around the chaotic everyday life of a boy named Lincoln Loud, who is the middle child and only son in a large family of 11 children.