01x16 - Steven the Sword Fighter

[bunniefuu]

Oh, Lonely Blade, you so lonely.

What?! The janitor is the evil samurai president?!

That's bananas. Oh, come on. It was so obvious.

He's been mopping in the background of every fight scene.

Look. Here he is on the cover of the box.

Oh, yeah!

Go, Lonely, go!

Do the boomerang blade again! Oh, come on.

This is ridiculous. Just look at their form.

This is nothing like real sword-fighting.

Shh!

It's just a movie, Pearl.

Well, if you ever want to see a demonstration of proper sword techniques, I'd be happy to show

you.

Now?

All right. In order to give a proper demonstration, I'm going to need a sparring partner.

Luckily, I have the perfect candidate right here.

Cool! Hologram Pearl! Ah, geez.

Do you wish to engage in combat?

Do you wish to engage in combat?

Let this be the perfect battle.

You've already made a mistake by challenging me.

We shall let our swords decide.

Nerd!

Shh! Shh!

Commencing duel.

Defense rank "S." Zero openings detected.

Go, Pearl, go! Go, Holo-Pearl!

Opening detected.

Hah!

Match. Set. Challenger wins!

Whoo-hoo! Yay, Pearl!

Do you wish to battle again?

Pearl! That was amazing! You were so cool!

Oh, well. One does try their best.

Will you teach me to sword-fight like you?

All right, but we should start with the basics.

Initiate training mode.

Training mode initiated. Level 1. begin!

I want you to stand back, Steven, and watch me carefully, okay?

Parry! Parry! Thrust!

Parry! Parry! Thrust!

Do you see what I'm doing with my feet, Steven?

Parry! Parry! Thrust!

a y! a y! ust!

Notice where I keep my center of gravity.

Aww. Can you show me something cool, like the boomerang blade?

Steven, you know that's not a real sword technique.

Boomerang blade! Boomerang blade!

Boomerang blade! Steven, these are real sword techniques, not those silly things from your

movie.

It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to ...

Thrust!

Whoa. Oh, no.

Pearl? Whoopsy-daisy.

Steven, it's okay. I'm gonna be just ...

No! Pearl? Pearl!

Challenger defeated! Level 1 failed.

Steven! Steven!

I-I was just ... and ... and she was trying to ...

Steven, it's okay. Pearl's gonna be just fine.

What do you mean? Sometimes if our bodies are badly damaged, we release our physical forms

and retreat to our gems to regenerate.

So, she's gonna be okay? Don't worry, bud.

This kind of thing just happens sometimes ... usually to me.

Always to you. Hey, I'm scrappy.

What do you want?

So, how long will it take her to regenerate ... 5 minutes, 10 minutes?

What's taking so long? What up?

He e e She's still not done?

He-e-ey. She's still not done?

Man, she's really taking her time with this one.

Got to tell you, though, love what you've done with the place.

Pearl usually helps me tidy up. Ah, I say leave it.

Hey, if real Pearl can't be here, there's always the next best thing!

Do you wish to engage in combat?

Steven, cover that thing back up.

But it's like Pearl! Look at it!

Ye-e-e-ah. That ain't Pearl.

Well, maybe I can get it to act like her.

Here we have... a mess.

Organizing messes is one of Pearl's favorite hobbies.

Here. Pearl likes to organize them by type ... animal, humanoid, miscellaneous. Now you try.

You've drawn your sword in vain! What?! Aah!

Challenger defeated!

Maybe we need to try something else.

I'm gonna do it. Go on, then.

Pearl always likes to tease Amethyst when she does funny stuff like this.

I won't go easy on you this time! That's the spirit!

What are you rascals doing over here?

Draw your w*apon, challenger!

Ugh. Steven, why are you still hanging out with that thing?

It's gross.

I just really miss spending time with Pearl.

Pearl will come back to us in time, Steven. Have patience.

ea co e bac to us t e, Ste e . a e pat e ce.

And stop hanging out with that thing. It's creepy.

Wh-o-o-o-o-oa! Hmm.

You had fun at the boardwalk, right?

Parry! Aw, come on.

You got to work with me here. This is Pearl's favorite tree.

Don't you recognize it? What's on your mind?

Come on. Don't hold back.

Challenge accepted!

What?!

Oh, no! The tree!

Challenger defeated!

Real Pearl would never do that!

Rah! You're hopeless!

Get away from me!

It's too bad you're still not back, Pearl, because I just found a copy of the fifth "Lonely Blade"

movie!

How long are you gonna make me wait, Pearl?

Oh, the popcorn's done. Stay right there.

Do you wish to test your skills against me in a duel?!

No! No sword-fighting!

Draw your sword and fulfill your destiny!

Huh? No! Leave real Pearl and me alone!

Go back under your sheet.

- Brother, is that you? Yes, it's me ... your...brother. Your technique is...

Whoa! This dub is really good.

What do you think, Pearl? Parry!

- Brother! Just wait a minute.

You're not my real brother!

Aah! Boomerang blade!

Your technique is impressive. But it won't be enough.

It's about waiting carefully for the perfect moment to ...

- Thrust! The TV!

Why must you destroy the things I love?!

Challenger defeated! Continue?

I hate you! I hate you!

You're nothing like Pearl!

Pearl is smart, and she always wants to protect me from danger!

All you want to do is fight me!

Challenge accepted!

All right, fine!

Basic attack mode initiated.

Parry! Parry! Thrust!

Parry... Don't say that!

Parry! Parry! Thrust!

Basic attack mode defeated!

Now initiating advanced mode!

Walrus shield.

Snacks, pillow, fuzzy flower, boomerang?

Boomerang!

oo e a g!

Aah! Pearl!

I should have just waited for you to come back!

I should have waited for...

...the perfect moment!

Boomerang blade!

Challenger wins! Do you wish to duel again?

N-o-o-o-o-o!

Steven, we heard fighting. Ow!

Are you all right? What's going on?

Oh, just mopping. Die!

You know, I might miss Pearl a whole lot, but sometimes you just have to accept things the way

they are before you ...

Never mind! Pearl's back!

That's much better.

Ohh! Hey! Miss me much? Oh, man!

I had this whole thing planned out for when you came back!

Uh, Steven, what happened to your room?

I don't even want to know what happened to you.

I got hit by a airplane! Pearl's back!

Pearl's back!

Steven, what are you doing? Pearl's back! Pearl's back!

Pearl's back!

Ugh. I can't leave you guys alone for a second.

Pearl's back!