05x07 - Suckers Punched
Posted: 06/10/22 07:58
Chris:
Last week,
On "total drama all-stars":
The campers were treated
To a day in the fun zone,
Where anything can happen...
Except fun!
Heather found the hidden
Invincibility statue -
Too bad someone else found it
After her.
And sierra adopted a new,
Uh, pet!
In the end,
The heroes got the victory!
And alejandro was headed
For the flush of shame
Until he pulled off the biggest
Surprise of the night.
Way to play possum,
Captain secret legs.
Can the heroes hold their lead?
Will the villains live up
To their name?
Will my breakfast get here
Before lunch?!
Find out right now on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
♪♪♪
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be ♪
♪ I wanna be famous ♪!
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be ♪
♪ I wanna be famous! ♪
(Whistling)
(Camera shutter snaps)
(Classical piano music plays)
(Chewing)
(Electricity crackles)
(Gasps)
Cody juniors!
Who let you out of your crib?
(Pained screams)
Bad codys!
Now that I'm responsible
For these little guys,
Or girls,
Or one guy, one girl,
I don't have time
To be in a relationship.
Mm, I just hope camdy
Doesn't take it too hard.
What's that,
Cody junior?
Ew!
Cameron:
Is toast supposed to be green?
Scott:
Mawmaw calls this
"Penicillin puree."
Never had a cold
In my life.
(Chomps and chews loudly)
(Gags)
Scott:
Well, well.
Wakey wakey, legs a-fakey.
It truly is a miracle
My legs finally woke up.
Now they can be put to good use
For our team.
After today
There won't be any teams.
What are you talking about?
There are only
Nine players left -
We have to merge soon.
And after what you did
To heather,
Good luck
Finding an ally, al.
I would prefer it
If you did not call me
That name.
Last night, I dreamt about
My older, smarter,
Better looking brother jose.
(Exasperated sigh)
He always calls me al
And I hate it!
More than mutant fire beetles
And conditioners
That don't detangle!
Scott:
What's wrong with the name al?
My sister's named al -
Short for albertha.
She's the county hog caller.
(Pig calling)
Su-wee! Su-wee!
Ow!
Chris:
Good soon-to-be painful
Morning, everyone.
Head to the chris-iseum,
Pronto!
Today's challenge
Isn't gonna hurt itself!
Sierra:
Hahaha! Ow!
That's enough, you two!
Aggghhhhhh!
Hey, we need to talk.
It's about mike.
What about him?
Wait.
Are you trying to form
An alliance with me
While he's in exile?
What? No! Look.
I knew I knew the guy
From somewhere,
But couldn't place it
Until I heard him whistle.
I am so not following you.
When I was in juvee,
So was mike.
(Laughs)
Oh. You're serious?
Mike was in juvee?
Yeah. Only back then,
His name was "mal"
And I think he liked
Being locked up.
He caused trouble
Just for the fun of it.
So why hasn't mike
Recognized you?
Probably 'cause
I steered way clear of him.
But think about it.
Guy with
Multiple personality disorder
Breaks cam's glasses.
He probably broke
My knife too.
And sam's gameguy,
And sierra's smartphone!
Which is so out of character
For mike.
But it's totally in character
For mal.
Hmm...
Thanks for telling me.
You're so thoughtful
And considerate.
No I'm not!
It's just...
There's only room for one
Bad boy on this island,
And that's me!
Intern:
(Screaming)
Sierra:
Codys! Leave that
Intern's face alone!
Chef:
Mike! Time to head back!
(Animals scream,
Chef cries out in pain)
(Groans and yelps)
Mal:
(Evil snicker)
Hey, chef.
(Grunts of effort)
Hello?! Somebody, answer me!
(Gasps)
You!
(Chuckles)
At your disservice.
But I got rid of you!
After juvee!
Silly mike.
I was just laying low,
Conserving my energy,
Waiting for my moment...
And it worked!
Now I'm in charge.
Mike:
Those are innocent people
You're messing with!
You have to stop!
Mal:
Stop? Oh... No, no, no,
No, no, no.
I'm just getting started.
No! No-no, wait!
Come back!
Chris:
Welcome to camp
Wawanakwa coliseum!
Scott:
A boxing ring?
Boxing?!
(Inhales deeply)
This is the last will of i,
Cameron corduroy wilkins.
Chris:
Lookin' rough, chef.
You have a run-in
With a big, bad, baby squirrel
Over on boney island, hmm?
That kid ain't right!
Mal:
Man, are you a sight
For sore eyes.
Greetings, playahs!
The recipe for today's disaster
Is a hearty helping
Of season one's
"No pain,
No gain challenge,"
With a pinch of phobia factor
For extra zing.
Not hungry.
Get ready to sink
Your soon-to-be-missing teeth
Into the "wheel of misfortune!"
The rules are simple:
Spin the wheel,
And go a full two minutes
With whatever the wheel
Lands on.
Win the match
And earn your team a point.
Fights will be judged
Impartially by chef and myself.
First team to win three battles
Is the champ!
But who's going to watch
The codys while I fight?
No one,
If they value their lives.
Now, let's get ready to pummel!
Uh, uh, hang on,
Where are the rewards
You promised zoey?
(Sighs) I was hoping
You'd forgotten about that,
But for being mvp
In the last challenge,
You don't have to box,
And the heroes get a point!
(Scoreboard dings)
Hamsters:
Woo-hoo! Hot stuff!
All right!
Zoey:
Thanks!
Since the villains lost
Yesterday,
They go first.
Who's rumble ready?
Scott:
Me. I'll go!
(Wheel pointer whirs)
Chris:
Say hello to your foe...
Fang!
Huh?
Aaaggghhhhhh!
Hello? Scott! Scott!
Come on, bro,
Move it or lose it.
Oh, I think that's
Already happened.
Fang:
Ugh! Agh! Oh!
(Pained impact grunt)
Courtney:
Wake up and smell the gloves
Hitting you in the face, scott!
Scott:
I likes you, purdy lady!
(Dazed laugh)
G'sleep.
Time's up and fang wins!
No point for the villains -
The score remains - heroes.
You should be ashamed
Of yourself,
You overgrown guppy!
(Grunts of effort)
Gwen:
Let me help.
Courtney:
Sure. Thanks.
(Gasps)
Did you see that?
Courtney treated me
Like a human being!
Woo-hoo!
Maybe gwen's paid her dues.
Besides, I don't think
I have to worry
About her kissing scott.
Ew! Has this guy
Ever washed his feet?
Scott:
You cannin' the toe jam
Already, cletus?
Chris:
Hero time.
Come on up... Sierra!
Why me?
Why not?
Good point!
(Giggles)
(Pointer whirs)
(Gasps)
No way!
I would never fight
My sweetie-pet!
Oh, you're not fighting
Your pet.
You're fighting
Your pet's mother.
(Ferocious roar)
I'm not afraid of a few heads
And a lot of teeth
And a bunch of claws!
What are the odds
Of sierra and scott
Both getting
Such personal opponents?
Astronomical.
I think I smell a rat.
Sierra:
Camdy, here.
Take the boys.
And I'm sorry,
It's just not gonna work out.
I'm breaking up with you!
I've never been dumped
By someone
I wasn't going out with before,
But...
Yes! Ow!
(Monstrous roar)
Bring it on,
Garbage breath!
Yah!
(Punching grunts)
(Timid laugh)
(Pained grunts and screams)
(Panting)
That's gonna hurt on landing.
(Crash)
Forget what I said.
I could never break up
With you, cam-ody!
Hee! I can't wait
For the teams to merge.
Then we can be...
Team cam-sierra-ody!
Nooooo!
Another pathetic loss
Means it's still - heroes.
Villains, you're up!
Alejandro:
I'll earn us a point.
I hope he gets heather!
Gwen:
(Giggles)
There's only one person
I'd rather fight
Less than heather,
And that person is...
(Gasps) no!
It can't be!
Everyone:
(Gasps)
Jose!
Ooh, doggie!
Does al have what it takes
To stand up to his big bro?
Or will baby fall down
Go boom?
Find out after the break,
Right here on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
Jose:
Buenos dias, al.
You look tired
And in need of exfoliation.
I exfoliate once a week.
And the only thing
I'm tired of is you!
I knew my dream was a sign!
My whole life,
Jose has been better than me
At everything:
Academics, sports,
And yes,
Even personal grooming.
Well, not this time!
Enough with the touching
Family reunion.
Start punching each other!
(Match bell dings,
Brothers grunt and growl)
Why are they just going
With body hits?
It's weird.
It is the family code:
Not the face.
Never the face.
Looks like the villains
Are gonna be shut out again!
Or should I say
"Punched out."
Your technique is almost
As embarrassing
As the way your girlfriend with
The unattractive personality
Burned you
On national television!
(Laughs)
That's for calling me al!
That's for always hogging
The bathroom mirror! Ugh!
And replacing my soap
With a urinal cake! Ugh!
And this is for calling
Any aspect of heather
Unattractive!
Chris:
(Bell dings) whoa!
The villains get a point!
And now we all know
How alejandro
Really feels about heather.
Heather,
I know you're watching -
Call me!
And we're tied one all.
Hero time!
Mal:
Guess I'll go next.
Cameron:
What's the point in spinning
The wheel?
The game must be rigged!
Everyone:
Huh?
Sierra fights cody juniors'
Mom, scott fights fang,
Alejandro fights
His big brother -
The odds are too astronomical
For this to be random!
It does seem
A little rigged.
More like a lot rigged!
How 'bout this:
I guarantee the next spinner
Will have a non-specific-
To-their-personal-terror
Opponent, okay?
(Sighs)
(Pointer whirs)
Just watch, it'll be exactly
What mike's afraid of.
Chris:
Or is it what cameron's
Afraid of!
Cameron:
Ahhh!
Zoey:
I thought you were
Over spiders.
Cameron:
That is not a spider!
Greetings, spider food!
(Laughs)
(Shrieks)
It's an eight-legged izzy!
(Match bell dings,
Izzy sniffs the air)
Ugh, you smell weird!
Like a honey cruller
Wrapped in rotten ham.
Good on the inside,
Poison on the outside.
You're right! Help!
Mal is keeping me prisoner
In my own subconscious!
Wait!
Izzy:
Question! Who's mal?
Zoey and duncan:
(Gasp)
How does izzy know about mal?!
That's it, I'm making a deck
Of tarot cards!
They say the eyes
Are the window to the soul.
Time to shut that window.
Enough chitter chatter.
Mal and izzy:
(Fight grunts and screams)
(Bam!)
(Wham!)
(Boum!)
Mal:
(Grunts, malevolent laughter)
Izzy:
Aaahhhhhh!
Duncan:
See? That's what I'm talking
About.
Mike got right villainous
On that one,
But a point's a point!
It's - , heroes.
One more point
And they win the whole thing!
Wow. Um, where'd you learn
To do that?
I don't know.
It's like I wasn't even
In control.
But I feel way better
Now that I'm with you.
Chris:
Next up, the great doubter!
Cameron:
Now that spider izzy's gone,
Anything else should be
A walk in the park.
Chris:
Or a walk in an underground
Radioactive mine.
One blind gopher
Won't be so hard.
Me and my big mouth.
(Snarling)
Good, mutant gophers.
Nice, mutant gophers.
(Match bell dings,
Cameron screams)
Cameron:
(Pained groan)
Chris:
Well, that was fast.
It's still - heroes.
Up next, big bad thug
Turned lovable lug, duncan.
(Growls)
Would you quit that?!
Finally I can prove
My bad boy status
By kicking butt in the ring!
They're all gonna be sorry
They ever called me
"Captain sweetheart,
Or "mr. Nicepants",
Or worst of all...
Duncan do-right!
You ready for this?
Man, I've been itching
For a fight all season long!
Are you sure you don't wanna
Just give up the point
And call it off?
There's no calling off
The fists of five.
Chris:
But you might really
Hurt someone.
Well then,
It sucks to be someone.
Back home they call me
"Snake hands."
Psst, psst, psst!
Okay then, spin away!
Duncan:
Huh?
(Chirping)
Chris:
I believe you two have met?
Gwen and courtney:
(Laugh)
Where- where are the rest
Of them?
Rest of them?
Yeah. Uh, 'cause it'll take
A thousand puny birds
To make this a fair fight!
(Match bell dings)
Aw yeah, you're going down!
Get ready.
Any second now, bro.
Come on, seriously!
How am I supposed to fight
Something so helpless and weak?
Aw, man!
(Defeated sigh)
I give up.
Courtney:
Tough break, snake hands.
Zero points for duncan!
That'll get some hits
On the web.
Villains, who's next?
Gwen and courtney:
I'll go! (Giggle)
No, seriously, I'll go.
Oh! (Giggle)
Gwen. Spin.
(Pointer whirs)
Gwen:
Courtney?!
There must be some mistake!
(Laughs)
Oh man!
I have been looking forward
To this match all day!
Uh, I mean, how random!
Fight gwen?!
I can't!
I won't!
No way!
Gwen and courtney:
(Laugh)
Sorry, chris!
Yeah, I kinda figured
This would happen,
So as a bit of extra
Incentive...
Courtney:
What's that for?
(Kissing sounds)
Chris:
Isn't it awesome?!
The producers found it
On sierra's "gwuncan" blog.
Uh, courtney.
Remember.
We're past this!
We're friends again.
Grrr! I guess I'm not
As over it as I thought.
Sorry, gwen,
This is going to hurt you
More than it hurts me.
(Guttural growl)
That's for kissing
My boyfriend!
Gwen:
Agh! That's for him
Not being your boyfriend
When he kissed me!
Duncan:
They're fighting over me.
See? Girls don't fight over
A good guy.
Total bad guy, right here.
Awwww!
Aw.
Chris:
Okay, time's up!
(Match bell dings)
Gwen and courtney:
We're not done!
Both:
(Pant)
I only came back on the show
To make things right with you!
Ow!
I never really missed duncan!
But I really missed you!
Duncan:
Hey!
(Winded)
So, friends?
Totes.
Friends forever!
Sierra and zoey:
Awwwww!
(Sniffles)
For putting a little warmth
In my otherwise frozen heart,
I'm giving you both
One point!
That makes it - .
Villains win!
Villains: (excited cheers)
Heroes: (disappointed groans)
Mike was pretty vicious
With izzy.
Yeah, but it was a fight
Challenge.
Makes you wonder, though.
What if mike is the alternate
Personality,
And mal is the real deal?
(Gasps)
After all this time?
No! It can't be!
Although, when you really
Think about it...
(Gasps) no!
Hey, guys.
What are you talking about?
Nothing!
Uh, cars.
Okay, before we send another
Player to the sewers,
I have a wee announcement
To make.
Here comes the merge.
After today's
Show of excellence,
I don't need an ally
When we merge.
I'm a one man winning machine!
Tonight, the winners
Get to choose which player
Is eliminated
From the losers team!
Hamsters: (gasp)
Chris: hold that gasp.
And the losers
Are the choosers
Of which winner
Goes to boney island!
And the teams are not merging.
Now you may gasp.
Everyone:
(Gasps)
And there it is.
Now, villains,
Who's going home tonight?
Vultures:
(Indiscernible whispers)
Gwen:
It's okay. All right.
We've decided.
Reluctantly!
Very reluctantly!
To eliminate...
Sierra.
Me?! But why?!
You have a real cody back home
Who needs you -
For some reason.
Now run, sierra.
Run to him.
You mean swim.
But before sierra
Takes the flush of shame,
Which villain is going to exile
On boney island?
Heroes?
Heroes:
Alejandro!
Guy's a threat.
Mal's just lucky we couldn't
Vote for our own tonight.
Sierra:
(Crying)
Gwen:
Sorry again.
Say hi to cody for me!
Duncan:
And make more of those
"Gwuncan" videos!
What?
Hold your breath!
(Remote button beeps)
I'm coming, codyyyyy!
(Huge splash)
Big brothers,
Former competitors,
Surprising twists!
Can we top it?
You better believe we can,
Next time on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
Last week,
On "total drama all-stars":
The campers were treated
To a day in the fun zone,
Where anything can happen...
Except fun!
Heather found the hidden
Invincibility statue -
Too bad someone else found it
After her.
And sierra adopted a new,
Uh, pet!
In the end,
The heroes got the victory!
And alejandro was headed
For the flush of shame
Until he pulled off the biggest
Surprise of the night.
Way to play possum,
Captain secret legs.
Can the heroes hold their lead?
Will the villains live up
To their name?
Will my breakfast get here
Before lunch?!
Find out right now on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
♪♪♪
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be ♪
♪ I wanna be famous ♪!
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be ♪
♪ I wanna be famous! ♪
(Whistling)
(Camera shutter snaps)
(Classical piano music plays)
(Chewing)
(Electricity crackles)
(Gasps)
Cody juniors!
Who let you out of your crib?
(Pained screams)
Bad codys!
Now that I'm responsible
For these little guys,
Or girls,
Or one guy, one girl,
I don't have time
To be in a relationship.
Mm, I just hope camdy
Doesn't take it too hard.
What's that,
Cody junior?
Ew!
Cameron:
Is toast supposed to be green?
Scott:
Mawmaw calls this
"Penicillin puree."
Never had a cold
In my life.
(Chomps and chews loudly)
(Gags)
Scott:
Well, well.
Wakey wakey, legs a-fakey.
It truly is a miracle
My legs finally woke up.
Now they can be put to good use
For our team.
After today
There won't be any teams.
What are you talking about?
There are only
Nine players left -
We have to merge soon.
And after what you did
To heather,
Good luck
Finding an ally, al.
I would prefer it
If you did not call me
That name.
Last night, I dreamt about
My older, smarter,
Better looking brother jose.
(Exasperated sigh)
He always calls me al
And I hate it!
More than mutant fire beetles
And conditioners
That don't detangle!
Scott:
What's wrong with the name al?
My sister's named al -
Short for albertha.
She's the county hog caller.
(Pig calling)
Su-wee! Su-wee!
Ow!
Chris:
Good soon-to-be painful
Morning, everyone.
Head to the chris-iseum,
Pronto!
Today's challenge
Isn't gonna hurt itself!
Sierra:
Hahaha! Ow!
That's enough, you two!
Aggghhhhhh!
Hey, we need to talk.
It's about mike.
What about him?
Wait.
Are you trying to form
An alliance with me
While he's in exile?
What? No! Look.
I knew I knew the guy
From somewhere,
But couldn't place it
Until I heard him whistle.
I am so not following you.
When I was in juvee,
So was mike.
(Laughs)
Oh. You're serious?
Mike was in juvee?
Yeah. Only back then,
His name was "mal"
And I think he liked
Being locked up.
He caused trouble
Just for the fun of it.
So why hasn't mike
Recognized you?
Probably 'cause
I steered way clear of him.
But think about it.
Guy with
Multiple personality disorder
Breaks cam's glasses.
He probably broke
My knife too.
And sam's gameguy,
And sierra's smartphone!
Which is so out of character
For mike.
But it's totally in character
For mal.
Hmm...
Thanks for telling me.
You're so thoughtful
And considerate.
No I'm not!
It's just...
There's only room for one
Bad boy on this island,
And that's me!
Intern:
(Screaming)
Sierra:
Codys! Leave that
Intern's face alone!
Chef:
Mike! Time to head back!
(Animals scream,
Chef cries out in pain)
(Groans and yelps)
Mal:
(Evil snicker)
Hey, chef.
(Grunts of effort)
Hello?! Somebody, answer me!
(Gasps)
You!
(Chuckles)
At your disservice.
But I got rid of you!
After juvee!
Silly mike.
I was just laying low,
Conserving my energy,
Waiting for my moment...
And it worked!
Now I'm in charge.
Mike:
Those are innocent people
You're messing with!
You have to stop!
Mal:
Stop? Oh... No, no, no,
No, no, no.
I'm just getting started.
No! No-no, wait!
Come back!
Chris:
Welcome to camp
Wawanakwa coliseum!
Scott:
A boxing ring?
Boxing?!
(Inhales deeply)
This is the last will of i,
Cameron corduroy wilkins.
Chris:
Lookin' rough, chef.
You have a run-in
With a big, bad, baby squirrel
Over on boney island, hmm?
That kid ain't right!
Mal:
Man, are you a sight
For sore eyes.
Greetings, playahs!
The recipe for today's disaster
Is a hearty helping
Of season one's
"No pain,
No gain challenge,"
With a pinch of phobia factor
For extra zing.
Not hungry.
Get ready to sink
Your soon-to-be-missing teeth
Into the "wheel of misfortune!"
The rules are simple:
Spin the wheel,
And go a full two minutes
With whatever the wheel
Lands on.
Win the match
And earn your team a point.
Fights will be judged
Impartially by chef and myself.
First team to win three battles
Is the champ!
But who's going to watch
The codys while I fight?
No one,
If they value their lives.
Now, let's get ready to pummel!
Uh, uh, hang on,
Where are the rewards
You promised zoey?
(Sighs) I was hoping
You'd forgotten about that,
But for being mvp
In the last challenge,
You don't have to box,
And the heroes get a point!
(Scoreboard dings)
Hamsters:
Woo-hoo! Hot stuff!
All right!
Zoey:
Thanks!
Since the villains lost
Yesterday,
They go first.
Who's rumble ready?
Scott:
Me. I'll go!
(Wheel pointer whirs)
Chris:
Say hello to your foe...
Fang!
Huh?
Aaaggghhhhhh!
Hello? Scott! Scott!
Come on, bro,
Move it or lose it.
Oh, I think that's
Already happened.
Fang:
Ugh! Agh! Oh!
(Pained impact grunt)
Courtney:
Wake up and smell the gloves
Hitting you in the face, scott!
Scott:
I likes you, purdy lady!
(Dazed laugh)
G'sleep.
Time's up and fang wins!
No point for the villains -
The score remains - heroes.
You should be ashamed
Of yourself,
You overgrown guppy!
(Grunts of effort)
Gwen:
Let me help.
Courtney:
Sure. Thanks.
(Gasps)
Did you see that?
Courtney treated me
Like a human being!
Woo-hoo!
Maybe gwen's paid her dues.
Besides, I don't think
I have to worry
About her kissing scott.
Ew! Has this guy
Ever washed his feet?
Scott:
You cannin' the toe jam
Already, cletus?
Chris:
Hero time.
Come on up... Sierra!
Why me?
Why not?
Good point!
(Giggles)
(Pointer whirs)
(Gasps)
No way!
I would never fight
My sweetie-pet!
Oh, you're not fighting
Your pet.
You're fighting
Your pet's mother.
(Ferocious roar)
I'm not afraid of a few heads
And a lot of teeth
And a bunch of claws!
What are the odds
Of sierra and scott
Both getting
Such personal opponents?
Astronomical.
I think I smell a rat.
Sierra:
Camdy, here.
Take the boys.
And I'm sorry,
It's just not gonna work out.
I'm breaking up with you!
I've never been dumped
By someone
I wasn't going out with before,
But...
Yes! Ow!
(Monstrous roar)
Bring it on,
Garbage breath!
Yah!
(Punching grunts)
(Timid laugh)
(Pained grunts and screams)
(Panting)
That's gonna hurt on landing.
(Crash)
Forget what I said.
I could never break up
With you, cam-ody!
Hee! I can't wait
For the teams to merge.
Then we can be...
Team cam-sierra-ody!
Nooooo!
Another pathetic loss
Means it's still - heroes.
Villains, you're up!
Alejandro:
I'll earn us a point.
I hope he gets heather!
Gwen:
(Giggles)
There's only one person
I'd rather fight
Less than heather,
And that person is...
(Gasps) no!
It can't be!
Everyone:
(Gasps)
Jose!
Ooh, doggie!
Does al have what it takes
To stand up to his big bro?
Or will baby fall down
Go boom?
Find out after the break,
Right here on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
Jose:
Buenos dias, al.
You look tired
And in need of exfoliation.
I exfoliate once a week.
And the only thing
I'm tired of is you!
I knew my dream was a sign!
My whole life,
Jose has been better than me
At everything:
Academics, sports,
And yes,
Even personal grooming.
Well, not this time!
Enough with the touching
Family reunion.
Start punching each other!
(Match bell dings,
Brothers grunt and growl)
Why are they just going
With body hits?
It's weird.
It is the family code:
Not the face.
Never the face.
Looks like the villains
Are gonna be shut out again!
Or should I say
"Punched out."
Your technique is almost
As embarrassing
As the way your girlfriend with
The unattractive personality
Burned you
On national television!
(Laughs)
That's for calling me al!
That's for always hogging
The bathroom mirror! Ugh!
And replacing my soap
With a urinal cake! Ugh!
And this is for calling
Any aspect of heather
Unattractive!
Chris:
(Bell dings) whoa!
The villains get a point!
And now we all know
How alejandro
Really feels about heather.
Heather,
I know you're watching -
Call me!
And we're tied one all.
Hero time!
Mal:
Guess I'll go next.
Cameron:
What's the point in spinning
The wheel?
The game must be rigged!
Everyone:
Huh?
Sierra fights cody juniors'
Mom, scott fights fang,
Alejandro fights
His big brother -
The odds are too astronomical
For this to be random!
It does seem
A little rigged.
More like a lot rigged!
How 'bout this:
I guarantee the next spinner
Will have a non-specific-
To-their-personal-terror
Opponent, okay?
(Sighs)
(Pointer whirs)
Just watch, it'll be exactly
What mike's afraid of.
Chris:
Or is it what cameron's
Afraid of!
Cameron:
Ahhh!
Zoey:
I thought you were
Over spiders.
Cameron:
That is not a spider!
Greetings, spider food!
(Laughs)
(Shrieks)
It's an eight-legged izzy!
(Match bell dings,
Izzy sniffs the air)
Ugh, you smell weird!
Like a honey cruller
Wrapped in rotten ham.
Good on the inside,
Poison on the outside.
You're right! Help!
Mal is keeping me prisoner
In my own subconscious!
Wait!
Izzy:
Question! Who's mal?
Zoey and duncan:
(Gasp)
How does izzy know about mal?!
That's it, I'm making a deck
Of tarot cards!
They say the eyes
Are the window to the soul.
Time to shut that window.
Enough chitter chatter.
Mal and izzy:
(Fight grunts and screams)
(Bam!)
(Wham!)
(Boum!)
Mal:
(Grunts, malevolent laughter)
Izzy:
Aaahhhhhh!
Duncan:
See? That's what I'm talking
About.
Mike got right villainous
On that one,
But a point's a point!
It's - , heroes.
One more point
And they win the whole thing!
Wow. Um, where'd you learn
To do that?
I don't know.
It's like I wasn't even
In control.
But I feel way better
Now that I'm with you.
Chris:
Next up, the great doubter!
Cameron:
Now that spider izzy's gone,
Anything else should be
A walk in the park.
Chris:
Or a walk in an underground
Radioactive mine.
One blind gopher
Won't be so hard.
Me and my big mouth.
(Snarling)
Good, mutant gophers.
Nice, mutant gophers.
(Match bell dings,
Cameron screams)
Cameron:
(Pained groan)
Chris:
Well, that was fast.
It's still - heroes.
Up next, big bad thug
Turned lovable lug, duncan.
(Growls)
Would you quit that?!
Finally I can prove
My bad boy status
By kicking butt in the ring!
They're all gonna be sorry
They ever called me
"Captain sweetheart,
Or "mr. Nicepants",
Or worst of all...
Duncan do-right!
You ready for this?
Man, I've been itching
For a fight all season long!
Are you sure you don't wanna
Just give up the point
And call it off?
There's no calling off
The fists of five.
Chris:
But you might really
Hurt someone.
Well then,
It sucks to be someone.
Back home they call me
"Snake hands."
Psst, psst, psst!
Okay then, spin away!
Duncan:
Huh?
(Chirping)
Chris:
I believe you two have met?
Gwen and courtney:
(Laugh)
Where- where are the rest
Of them?
Rest of them?
Yeah. Uh, 'cause it'll take
A thousand puny birds
To make this a fair fight!
(Match bell dings)
Aw yeah, you're going down!
Get ready.
Any second now, bro.
Come on, seriously!
How am I supposed to fight
Something so helpless and weak?
Aw, man!
(Defeated sigh)
I give up.
Courtney:
Tough break, snake hands.
Zero points for duncan!
That'll get some hits
On the web.
Villains, who's next?
Gwen and courtney:
I'll go! (Giggle)
No, seriously, I'll go.
Oh! (Giggle)
Gwen. Spin.
(Pointer whirs)
Gwen:
Courtney?!
There must be some mistake!
(Laughs)
Oh man!
I have been looking forward
To this match all day!
Uh, I mean, how random!
Fight gwen?!
I can't!
I won't!
No way!
Gwen and courtney:
(Laugh)
Sorry, chris!
Yeah, I kinda figured
This would happen,
So as a bit of extra
Incentive...
Courtney:
What's that for?
(Kissing sounds)
Chris:
Isn't it awesome?!
The producers found it
On sierra's "gwuncan" blog.
Uh, courtney.
Remember.
We're past this!
We're friends again.
Grrr! I guess I'm not
As over it as I thought.
Sorry, gwen,
This is going to hurt you
More than it hurts me.
(Guttural growl)
That's for kissing
My boyfriend!
Gwen:
Agh! That's for him
Not being your boyfriend
When he kissed me!
Duncan:
They're fighting over me.
See? Girls don't fight over
A good guy.
Total bad guy, right here.
Awwww!
Aw.
Chris:
Okay, time's up!
(Match bell dings)
Gwen and courtney:
We're not done!
Both:
(Pant)
I only came back on the show
To make things right with you!
Ow!
I never really missed duncan!
But I really missed you!
Duncan:
Hey!
(Winded)
So, friends?
Totes.
Friends forever!
Sierra and zoey:
Awwwww!
(Sniffles)
For putting a little warmth
In my otherwise frozen heart,
I'm giving you both
One point!
That makes it - .
Villains win!
Villains: (excited cheers)
Heroes: (disappointed groans)
Mike was pretty vicious
With izzy.
Yeah, but it was a fight
Challenge.
Makes you wonder, though.
What if mike is the alternate
Personality,
And mal is the real deal?
(Gasps)
After all this time?
No! It can't be!
Although, when you really
Think about it...
(Gasps) no!
Hey, guys.
What are you talking about?
Nothing!
Uh, cars.
Okay, before we send another
Player to the sewers,
I have a wee announcement
To make.
Here comes the merge.
After today's
Show of excellence,
I don't need an ally
When we merge.
I'm a one man winning machine!
Tonight, the winners
Get to choose which player
Is eliminated
From the losers team!
Hamsters: (gasp)
Chris: hold that gasp.
And the losers
Are the choosers
Of which winner
Goes to boney island!
And the teams are not merging.
Now you may gasp.
Everyone:
(Gasps)
And there it is.
Now, villains,
Who's going home tonight?
Vultures:
(Indiscernible whispers)
Gwen:
It's okay. All right.
We've decided.
Reluctantly!
Very reluctantly!
To eliminate...
Sierra.
Me?! But why?!
You have a real cody back home
Who needs you -
For some reason.
Now run, sierra.
Run to him.
You mean swim.
But before sierra
Takes the flush of shame,
Which villain is going to exile
On boney island?
Heroes?
Heroes:
Alejandro!
Guy's a threat.
Mal's just lucky we couldn't
Vote for our own tonight.
Sierra:
(Crying)
Gwen:
Sorry again.
Say hi to cody for me!
Duncan:
And make more of those
"Gwuncan" videos!
What?
Hold your breath!
(Remote button beeps)
I'm coming, codyyyyy!
(Huge splash)
Big brothers,
Former competitors,
Surprising twists!
Can we top it?
You better believe we can,
Next time on
Total... Drama... All-stars!