05x05 - Moon Madness
Posted: 06/10/22 07:57
Chris:
Last time
On "total drama all-stars":
After swapping teams,
Courtney and duncan
Were stuck living
With the enemy. (Laughs)
But while courtney was given
The cold shoulder
By every villain
Except scott,
Duncan got a heroes' welcome
So warm,
It made him question
His own bad-boyhood.
At challenge time,
Giant pancakes
Were gobbled down,
And, in a few cases,
Thrown right back up
Thanks to a barf-tacular
Obstacle course.
(Chuckles)
Way to re-swallow, bro.
The heroes finished first,
But an uneaten chunk o' cake
In sam's pocket
Sent the heroes to loserville,
And sam took a particularly
Awkward flush o' shame.
Only players remain.
Which one of them is gonna take
A circle-y swim
In the big porcelain bowl?
Find out right here,
Right now,
On total... Drama... All-stars!
♪♪
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be
♪ I wanna be famous
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be
♪ I wanna be famous
(Whistling chorus)
(Camera snaps)
Duncan:
(Spits and coughs)
Cameron:
This slop is like dirt gravy.
Which, technically,
Would be mud, but-
Whoa! Oof!
Mike:
Wow, cam, you okay?
Here ya go, buddy.
Cameron:
Oh boy...
Zoey:
(Gasps)
I can't believe
What I just saw!
Or have just seen.
No, saw.
Either way,
I can't believe it!
(Deep inhale)
Why would mike do that
To cameron?
They're friends!
Did mike break sam's gameguy,
Too?
And sierra's smartphone?
But why?
Look at my hand!
It looks so weird
Without my phone!
And without my phone,
Do I even exist?
And if I can't talk to him,
Does cody exist?
Sierra:
Zoey? Can you see me?
Am I here?
(Screams)
Ow! What was that for?
I thought
You couldn't see me!
What?!
I thought I was invisible.
Thanks, zoey.
Zoey:
What?
(Whistling sound)
Do you have to whistle
Through your nose
While you eat,
Windy?
Alejandro:
(Sighs) typical heather.
(Shocked gasp)
"Typical heather?"
He calls that a comeback?
It's like he's not even trying!
It's like he's lost
Interest in me.
No one has ever
Lost interest in me!
To get the upper hand,
I must throw heather
Off her game.
And so far, so bueno!
Muy bueno!
Courtney:
(Sighs) I feel like
I'm missing something.
But what?
What could it possibly be-
(Bird's chirp sounds
Like scott's laughter)
(Gasps)
Scott!
I actually miss
That scuzzball!
I wonder how he's doing
On boney island?
Scott:
Yoo-hoo!
Invincibility statue,
Come to poppa!
(Bushes rustle)
(Bear roars,
Scott screams)
Hey! What the-?!
(Rotors beat)
Ha! Later, sucker!
Oh! Eugh! Agh! Oh! Agh!
Chris:
Evening, campers!
Gather 'round the starting line
For a big announcement!
(Helicopter rotors beat)
Scott:
Agggghhhhh! Ungh!
(Groans weakly)
Courtney:
Oh my gosh!
Are you okay?
Scott:
Huh. Why wouldn't I be?
That was nothing.
(Groans and grunts,
Bones crack)
Well, good.
Because we have a challenge
To win.
Get it together!
Ah... Yes, ma'am!
Maybe it's 'cause pappy's
In the army
And mawmaw's a waitress,
But I kinda like
Taking orders.
My only interest in scott
Is as an ally.
Really!
Sure, he's cute,
But in a sloppy,
Rustic sort of way.
Like a shack
With nice curtains...
Or a donkey wearing a wig.
Chris:
Good news, you guys!
As a special treat,
It's time for an extremely
Dangerous nighttime challenge!
How is this "good news"?
Entertainment value,
Hello!
This one is gonna be
Ratings gold!
In a nod to season 's
"Buried treasure" fiasco,
Your challenge is to race
To the far end of the island.
First team to get every member
Across the finish line wins,
And someone from
The losing team
Will be taking the big flush.
Duncan:
Sounds easy enough.
Chris:
It does, doesn't it?
But tonight's full moon
Is an extremely rare
Blue harvest moon,
And let's just say
It has an unusual effect
On the island's animals.
(Laughs)
Villainous vultures,
You won the last challenge,
So you get this map
With the fastest route
Across the island.
Heroic chump-sters,
You get to wear nifty bacon hats
And sausage tails,
Which should add to the fun
When you come face to fang
With the island's
Friendly creatures.
And by "friendly"
I mean "hungry."
(Mischievous chuckle)
If the villains have a map
Of the quickest route...
We should follow them!
Great idea, mike!
Zoey:
(Indescernible whisper)
Cameron:
He did what?!
(Sighs heavily)
Heather:
This will be a piece of cake.
On your mark...
(Sighs heavily)
You mean "a piece of pie."
Chris: get set!
Heather: listen, you...
(Air horn blasts)
Gwen: woo-hoo!
Scott: yeah!
Cameron:
Mike, why'd you break
My glasses?
What? I didn't!
Who told you that?
Zoey made me promise
Not to say she saw you do it.
Oops! Sorry, zoey!
Mike:
Seriously?
Aw, man!
I don't know what's been up
With me lately.
I haven't been able to summon
My other personalities
For days.
And now I think
I might be sleepwalking
And breaking things and...
(Remorseful sigh)
I'm so sorry, cam.
It's okay, mike.
I forgive you.
And I promise I'll help you
Figure it out,
Whatever it is.
Ungh!
You're a great friend, cam.
Uh, cam?
Don't worry, cody!
I'll be your eyes and ears,
And as many nostrils
As you need me to be!
Cameron:
Cody? Uh, you mean cameron,
Right?
Sierra:
Sure! (Giggles)
(Gasps)
You guys, look!
Zoey:
What in the world...?
Cameron:
Blue moonlight?
Extraordinary!
(Deep growling)
(Squirrel growls ferociously,
Loud chomping)
Aggghhhhh!
(Thunderous crash,
Objects clatter)
(Monstrous roar)
(Deep inhale, as mal)
A blue harvest moon...
How fortuitous.
Seems that this
"Blue harvest moon"
Has brought me back.
Now that I'm in control,
I'll torment these peons
A little.
But first,
I have to sound like mike.
(Clears throat,
Speaks like mike)
Hi! I'm a bug-eyed weirdo
And everybody loves me!
(Evil laugh)
Perfect.
Zoey:
What was that, mike?
(Clears throat)
Ah, uh...
Just, you know,
Sweet moon!
Courtney:
Um, since when do gators
Do that?
Alejandro:
This moon is like no other.
It must be causing the animals
To become their opposite!
Wow, alejandro!
You're so smart!
Excuse me?
Heather:
Who's a little
Boojee boojee boo?
You are!
Yes you are!
(Shudders)
I've never seen heather
Be so sweet and kind...
And it is terrifying!
Sierra:
Back off!
Stay away from my cam-codykins!
Cameron: aggghhhh!
Sierra: ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(Growling)
(Roars)
Courtney: (screams)
Gwen: (frightened gasp)
I'm not gonna be taken down
By a g*ng of bunnies.
Aaaggghhhhh!
Help! I'm being taken down
By a g*ng of bunnies!
I wasn't scared
Of those bunnies,
I was surprised.
Totally different.
(Low growl nearby,
Scott shrieks)
Ah, um... I mean...
(Deep, masculine scream)
Uh-oh...
(Growled quacking)
Whoa! That's it,
I'm out!
Cameron:
(Panting)
Mal:
Come on, now's your chance
To get away from sierra!
Cameron:
Won't that hurt her feelings?
(Quacking)
Sierra:
Ow! Ow! I think it's using
Morse code! Ow!
Mal:
She'll be fine.
She's got zoey!
Anyway,
We should make sure
There's no danger
Waiting up ahead.
Cameron:
Well, if you're sure.
Hold on to this stick,
That way we won't
Get separated.
Mal: come on!
Cameron: agghhh!
(Wings beat rapidly)
(Deep quack)
(Gruff quacking)
Zoey:
Phew! Is everybody okay?
Hey, where are all the guys?
(Gasps)
Cam-codykins!
Scott:
(Screaming)
Alejandro:
Hurry! There's no time to waste!
Scott:
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Hurry up, heather!
You have the map!
Heather:
Yay! Running!
Good work, guys!
We're halfway
To the finish line!
Yippee! This is fun!
Gwen:
Okay...
This is sufficiently weird.
Courtney:
I know.
Why is heather being affected
By the blue harvest moon?
Gwen:
Maybe she's part wolf?
Gwen and courtney:
(Laugh)
(Courtney stops laughing
And clears her throat)
So close.
Cameron:
You've had trouble accessing
Your other personalities
Ever since the beach challenge,
Right?
That's when scott hit you
In the head with the shovel -
Maybe that's the cause!
Wow, cam,
You may just have a point.
Cameron:
Agghhh! Ow!
Whoooaaaaa!
Ungh! (Groans)
Sorry, lost my footing.
Where are you?
Mike?
Where'd you go?
(Bushes rustle)
Mike? Is that you?
(Sniffs)
(Ferocious roar)
Agghhh! Mike? Anybody?
Help!
Chris:
(Laughs)
Who will make it
To the other side of the island
And who's about to become
A serving of teen cuisine?
Stay tuned to find out,
Right here on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
Somebody? Anybody?
Help!
Nice bunnies...
Cameron: agghhh!
Sierra: weee!
Sierra:
Aw, that was close!
Better hitch you up
For safekeeping.
Cameron:
"Hitch me up?"
What does that-
Whoa!
What are you doing?!
Sierra:
Don't worry, I'll never let you
Out of my sight again!
Cameron:
But, but...
Zoey: let's go!
Cameron: never?!
Gwen:
(Scoffs)
A rope bridge?
Obviously it's a trap.
We should go around.
Courtney:
That'll take three times
As long!
Gwen:
Well, I'm not crossing
That thing
And anyone with any brains
Will follow me.
Alejandro:
What if you get lost?
Every member of the team
Must make it
Over the finish line
For us to win.
Heather:
Besides, if you don't
Come with us,
We'll miss you so much!
(Shudders)
If you take that detour,
You'll cost us the game.
(Gasps) that's your plan,
Isn't it? Admit it!
Gwen:
I'll see you
On the other side...
You know,
If you make it.
Heather:
Good luck!
Talk about gullible.
Anyone who's ever seen a movie
Knows that the rope bridge
Always breaks!
Also, I'm pretty sure
Heather has rabies.
Mal:
Who wants to help me
Make someone else
Wet their pants with fear?
Huh?
Duncan:
Hold on a second.
(Coughs and clears throat)
Uh, hey, duncan.
Man am I glad to see you.
I, uh... Got lost.
Yeah, right.
Seriously, dude,
Where do I know you from?
Uh, total drama season ?
Duncan:
No. I know you
From somewhere else.
I just can't put my finger
On it.
Hmm? Yikes!
(Malevolent snicker)
Toodles!
Heather:
Come on, guys!
Nothing to be afraid of!
Alejandro:
Except you.
Maybe someone brave
Should cross it first
And make sure it's safe?
Scott:
I'll do it!
Back home,
We have a special way
To cross these bridges.
(Clears throat)
Aggghhhhhhh!
Aggghhhhhhh!
Like I said,
Nothing to it.
(Beaver chitters)
Scott:
Um...
Are beavers normally nice
Or normally evil?
Ow! Ow! Yow! Gah!
(Rope snaps,
Bridge creaks)
Vultures:
Nooooooo!
Courtney:
Ugh! Not helping!
Scott:
Ow! Yow! Ahhh!
My butt is not a chew toy!
Alejandro:
Good job!
Keep it busy!
Shall we go?
(Creaking)
Courtney:
Whoa...
(Frightened whimpers)
If I don't die on this bridge,
I'm going to k*ll gwen
For taking the long way around
And costing us the challenge!
Heather:
Whoa! (Gasps) oh.
I knew you still cared.
Now who's "typical"?
Sucker!
As if the moon affected me.
But as long as
I keep him guessing,
I'll always have
The upper hand.
How dare she trick me!
I should have let her fall?
Ugh! Estupido!
Scott:
Agh! Ow! Yow! Gah! Ow!
(Beaver growls)
Chomp this, freak!
(Buzzing, rope snaps,
Bridge creaks)
(Boom)
Alejandro:
Now the other team
Can't use the bridge!
Brilliant plan,
Courtney!
Heather:
But if gwen can't make it
Around the pit,
The bridge is no longer
An option, is it?
Alejandro:
She's right.
Terrible plan, courtney!
Courtney:
Whatever! That's gwen's problem.
(Beaver chitters)
If we lose this challenge,
It's totally gwen's fault,
Not mine.
Zoey:
Hey! Where's mike?
Cameron:
He ran off.
I think something scared him.
Where's duncan?
I thought he was with you!
Duncan:
Aggghhhh!
This is so not how I wanna die!
Gwen:
Agghhh! Get away from me,
You little freaks!
Gwen! Heads up!
(Bird squawks,
Squirrels chitter)
(Ferocious growling)
Duncan and gwen:
(Relieved sighs)
Duncan:
So, tell me...
Gwen:
Tell you what?
You know, now that you
And courtney
Are on the same team,
What has she said
About me?
Are you kidding me?
How does such a big ego
Fit inside such a teeny
Tiny brain?
She hasn't said zip
About you! Ugh!
Duncan. You know what's
Most un-cool about him?
How he's still obsessed
With courtney!
That's so un-cool
It burns.
What is her problem?
Of course courtney
Talks about me.
What else does she have
To talk about? Scott?
Ha-ha! She's just using him
To make me jealous.
Well, good luck with that!
Courtney:
Gwen!
(Huffs)
Where is she?
Maybe she's at the finish line
Already?
Zoey:
Ugh! The bridge is out!
How are we supposed
To get across now?
Sierra: hey, mike!
Mal: what? Hey! There you are!
Cameron:
Mike, where'd you go?
Sorry, cam,
A bear chased me away!
But it's okay,
I think I shook him.
But with the weird moon,
Wouldn't a bear
Be all sweet and cuddly?
Right, right. Ha ha!
Oh, I'm an idiot.
I know how
We can cross the pit!
(Laughs giddily)
Oh boy.
You know you're in trouble
When the only person with a plan
Is sierra.
Obviously mike is lying.
What's going on with him?
Zoey:
I don't know about this.
Sierra:
Trust me!
Without my smartphone,
My other senses
Have become heightened.
Just hold on tight
And try not to think about it!
Cameron:
Wait! What are we doing?!
Sierra:
(Giggles)
Something amazing!
(Cam, zoey and mike scream,
Sierra howls like tarzan)
(Hamsters scream)
(Grunts of effort)
Mal and zoey:
(Grunt and scream, fearful)
Chris:
Welcome to the finish line,
Villains.
Seems like you're still
Missing a player.
Courtney:
What?! Gwen's not here yet?
Gwen! Agh!
I knew she'd sabotage us!
(Deer growls angrily)
Courtney:
(Shrieks)
Seriously?!
(Growling)
(Chomps and whimpers)
Courtney:
You... You saved me.
Gwen:
You'd do the same
If our positions were reversed.
Well, of course I would.
No, I wouldn't!
If our positions were reversed,
I'd be one step closer
To a million dollars
And gwen would be deer food!
(Growls, monstrous roar)
Zoey:
Huh. There you are!
Sierra:
We still have a chance!
(Growling)
Alejandro:
Courtney and gwen!
The moon curse is over! Hurry!
Heather:
They know it's over,
They don't need you to narrate,
Blah-lejandro.
She is so rude!
So overbearing!
I'm so relieved.
Mike:
(Gasps)
How did I get here?
Zoey:
Mike, hurry!
Courtney and gwen:
(Pant heavily)
Mike:
Oh.
And the villains win...
Again!
Vultures:
(Cheering)
Hamsters:
(Disappointed groans)
Gwen:
(Sighs)
Wish I was on the heroes team.
Duncan:
Aw, cheer up, gwen.
There.
That should do it.
You think
She was watching?
Gwen:
Agh! I can't do this anymore!
It's over!
W-what just happened?!
(Sighs) I never thought
It would end like this.
When he kissed me on the plane
After the london challenge,
I felt fireworks.
This time, it was like
Being kissed by a shoe.
The thrill is so gone!
Chris:
Okay, peeps.
Each of you is a loser
In your own right,
But the villains
Won the challenge,
So they've earned themselves
Another night
Of luxurious luxury
At my spa hotel.
Scott:
I volunteer for exile
On boney island.
Sure. I don't care.
What? No! Why?
Sorry, babe. I gotta find
That invincibility statue.
(Helicopter rotors beat)
Courtney:
(Wistful sigh)
Chris:
Okay, people.
Tonight, we-
Cameron: wait!
Chris: now what?
Cameron:
I volunteer
For the flush of shame.
Sierra:
Nooooo!
Cameron, why?
Cameron:
Sorry, mike.
I'd love to help you with your,
Uh, problem,
But I just can't take anymore
Of, you know, this!
Oh, are you allergic
To long grass?
I can get chains instead!
Well, isn't this a perfect way
To introduce
The surprise twist.
Today's ejected hero
Is tomorrow's new villain!
Cameron:
What?!
That's right,
Instead of flushing cameron,
I'm sending him over
To the villains' side!
(Everyone gasps,
Sierra moans)
Chris:
Sorry, sierra.
(Deep inhale,
Evil snicker)
Cameron:
I'll find a way to help you,
Even from the villains' side,
I promise.
Gee. Thanks, pal.
Cameron:
Uh... Hi.
Cameron doesn't know
What he's in for.
None of them do.
If I have my way -
And I will -
Everybody loses.
Seriously,
Gwen can't do what anymore?
What is she talking about?
Chris:
Think they've had enough
Punishment?
Yeah, me neither.
Find out who's next
To take the plunge
When we return
With another all new episode
Of total... Drama...
All-stars!
Last time
On "total drama all-stars":
After swapping teams,
Courtney and duncan
Were stuck living
With the enemy. (Laughs)
But while courtney was given
The cold shoulder
By every villain
Except scott,
Duncan got a heroes' welcome
So warm,
It made him question
His own bad-boyhood.
At challenge time,
Giant pancakes
Were gobbled down,
And, in a few cases,
Thrown right back up
Thanks to a barf-tacular
Obstacle course.
(Chuckles)
Way to re-swallow, bro.
The heroes finished first,
But an uneaten chunk o' cake
In sam's pocket
Sent the heroes to loserville,
And sam took a particularly
Awkward flush o' shame.
Only players remain.
Which one of them is gonna take
A circle-y swim
In the big porcelain bowl?
Find out right here,
Right now,
On total... Drama... All-stars!
♪♪
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be
♪ I wanna be famous
♪ I wanna be,
I wanna be
♪ I wanna be famous
(Whistling chorus)
(Camera snaps)
Duncan:
(Spits and coughs)
Cameron:
This slop is like dirt gravy.
Which, technically,
Would be mud, but-
Whoa! Oof!
Mike:
Wow, cam, you okay?
Here ya go, buddy.
Cameron:
Oh boy...
Zoey:
(Gasps)
I can't believe
What I just saw!
Or have just seen.
No, saw.
Either way,
I can't believe it!
(Deep inhale)
Why would mike do that
To cameron?
They're friends!
Did mike break sam's gameguy,
Too?
And sierra's smartphone?
But why?
Look at my hand!
It looks so weird
Without my phone!
And without my phone,
Do I even exist?
And if I can't talk to him,
Does cody exist?
Sierra:
Zoey? Can you see me?
Am I here?
(Screams)
Ow! What was that for?
I thought
You couldn't see me!
What?!
I thought I was invisible.
Thanks, zoey.
Zoey:
What?
(Whistling sound)
Do you have to whistle
Through your nose
While you eat,
Windy?
Alejandro:
(Sighs) typical heather.
(Shocked gasp)
"Typical heather?"
He calls that a comeback?
It's like he's not even trying!
It's like he's lost
Interest in me.
No one has ever
Lost interest in me!
To get the upper hand,
I must throw heather
Off her game.
And so far, so bueno!
Muy bueno!
Courtney:
(Sighs) I feel like
I'm missing something.
But what?
What could it possibly be-
(Bird's chirp sounds
Like scott's laughter)
(Gasps)
Scott!
I actually miss
That scuzzball!
I wonder how he's doing
On boney island?
Scott:
Yoo-hoo!
Invincibility statue,
Come to poppa!
(Bushes rustle)
(Bear roars,
Scott screams)
Hey! What the-?!
(Rotors beat)
Ha! Later, sucker!
Oh! Eugh! Agh! Oh! Agh!
Chris:
Evening, campers!
Gather 'round the starting line
For a big announcement!
(Helicopter rotors beat)
Scott:
Agggghhhhh! Ungh!
(Groans weakly)
Courtney:
Oh my gosh!
Are you okay?
Scott:
Huh. Why wouldn't I be?
That was nothing.
(Groans and grunts,
Bones crack)
Well, good.
Because we have a challenge
To win.
Get it together!
Ah... Yes, ma'am!
Maybe it's 'cause pappy's
In the army
And mawmaw's a waitress,
But I kinda like
Taking orders.
My only interest in scott
Is as an ally.
Really!
Sure, he's cute,
But in a sloppy,
Rustic sort of way.
Like a shack
With nice curtains...
Or a donkey wearing a wig.
Chris:
Good news, you guys!
As a special treat,
It's time for an extremely
Dangerous nighttime challenge!
How is this "good news"?
Entertainment value,
Hello!
This one is gonna be
Ratings gold!
In a nod to season 's
"Buried treasure" fiasco,
Your challenge is to race
To the far end of the island.
First team to get every member
Across the finish line wins,
And someone from
The losing team
Will be taking the big flush.
Duncan:
Sounds easy enough.
Chris:
It does, doesn't it?
But tonight's full moon
Is an extremely rare
Blue harvest moon,
And let's just say
It has an unusual effect
On the island's animals.
(Laughs)
Villainous vultures,
You won the last challenge,
So you get this map
With the fastest route
Across the island.
Heroic chump-sters,
You get to wear nifty bacon hats
And sausage tails,
Which should add to the fun
When you come face to fang
With the island's
Friendly creatures.
And by "friendly"
I mean "hungry."
(Mischievous chuckle)
If the villains have a map
Of the quickest route...
We should follow them!
Great idea, mike!
Zoey:
(Indescernible whisper)
Cameron:
He did what?!
(Sighs heavily)
Heather:
This will be a piece of cake.
On your mark...
(Sighs heavily)
You mean "a piece of pie."
Chris: get set!
Heather: listen, you...
(Air horn blasts)
Gwen: woo-hoo!
Scott: yeah!
Cameron:
Mike, why'd you break
My glasses?
What? I didn't!
Who told you that?
Zoey made me promise
Not to say she saw you do it.
Oops! Sorry, zoey!
Mike:
Seriously?
Aw, man!
I don't know what's been up
With me lately.
I haven't been able to summon
My other personalities
For days.
And now I think
I might be sleepwalking
And breaking things and...
(Remorseful sigh)
I'm so sorry, cam.
It's okay, mike.
I forgive you.
And I promise I'll help you
Figure it out,
Whatever it is.
Ungh!
You're a great friend, cam.
Uh, cam?
Don't worry, cody!
I'll be your eyes and ears,
And as many nostrils
As you need me to be!
Cameron:
Cody? Uh, you mean cameron,
Right?
Sierra:
Sure! (Giggles)
(Gasps)
You guys, look!
Zoey:
What in the world...?
Cameron:
Blue moonlight?
Extraordinary!
(Deep growling)
(Squirrel growls ferociously,
Loud chomping)
Aggghhhhh!
(Thunderous crash,
Objects clatter)
(Monstrous roar)
(Deep inhale, as mal)
A blue harvest moon...
How fortuitous.
Seems that this
"Blue harvest moon"
Has brought me back.
Now that I'm in control,
I'll torment these peons
A little.
But first,
I have to sound like mike.
(Clears throat,
Speaks like mike)
Hi! I'm a bug-eyed weirdo
And everybody loves me!
(Evil laugh)
Perfect.
Zoey:
What was that, mike?
(Clears throat)
Ah, uh...
Just, you know,
Sweet moon!
Courtney:
Um, since when do gators
Do that?
Alejandro:
This moon is like no other.
It must be causing the animals
To become their opposite!
Wow, alejandro!
You're so smart!
Excuse me?
Heather:
Who's a little
Boojee boojee boo?
You are!
Yes you are!
(Shudders)
I've never seen heather
Be so sweet and kind...
And it is terrifying!
Sierra:
Back off!
Stay away from my cam-codykins!
Cameron: aggghhhh!
Sierra: ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(Growling)
(Roars)
Courtney: (screams)
Gwen: (frightened gasp)
I'm not gonna be taken down
By a g*ng of bunnies.
Aaaggghhhhh!
Help! I'm being taken down
By a g*ng of bunnies!
I wasn't scared
Of those bunnies,
I was surprised.
Totally different.
(Low growl nearby,
Scott shrieks)
Ah, um... I mean...
(Deep, masculine scream)
Uh-oh...
(Growled quacking)
Whoa! That's it,
I'm out!
Cameron:
(Panting)
Mal:
Come on, now's your chance
To get away from sierra!
Cameron:
Won't that hurt her feelings?
(Quacking)
Sierra:
Ow! Ow! I think it's using
Morse code! Ow!
Mal:
She'll be fine.
She's got zoey!
Anyway,
We should make sure
There's no danger
Waiting up ahead.
Cameron:
Well, if you're sure.
Hold on to this stick,
That way we won't
Get separated.
Mal: come on!
Cameron: agghhh!
(Wings beat rapidly)
(Deep quack)
(Gruff quacking)
Zoey:
Phew! Is everybody okay?
Hey, where are all the guys?
(Gasps)
Cam-codykins!
Scott:
(Screaming)
Alejandro:
Hurry! There's no time to waste!
Scott:
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Hurry up, heather!
You have the map!
Heather:
Yay! Running!
Good work, guys!
We're halfway
To the finish line!
Yippee! This is fun!
Gwen:
Okay...
This is sufficiently weird.
Courtney:
I know.
Why is heather being affected
By the blue harvest moon?
Gwen:
Maybe she's part wolf?
Gwen and courtney:
(Laugh)
(Courtney stops laughing
And clears her throat)
So close.
Cameron:
You've had trouble accessing
Your other personalities
Ever since the beach challenge,
Right?
That's when scott hit you
In the head with the shovel -
Maybe that's the cause!
Wow, cam,
You may just have a point.
Cameron:
Agghhh! Ow!
Whoooaaaaa!
Ungh! (Groans)
Sorry, lost my footing.
Where are you?
Mike?
Where'd you go?
(Bushes rustle)
Mike? Is that you?
(Sniffs)
(Ferocious roar)
Agghhh! Mike? Anybody?
Help!
Chris:
(Laughs)
Who will make it
To the other side of the island
And who's about to become
A serving of teen cuisine?
Stay tuned to find out,
Right here on
Total... Drama... All-stars!
Somebody? Anybody?
Help!
Nice bunnies...
Cameron: agghhh!
Sierra: weee!
Sierra:
Aw, that was close!
Better hitch you up
For safekeeping.
Cameron:
"Hitch me up?"
What does that-
Whoa!
What are you doing?!
Sierra:
Don't worry, I'll never let you
Out of my sight again!
Cameron:
But, but...
Zoey: let's go!
Cameron: never?!
Gwen:
(Scoffs)
A rope bridge?
Obviously it's a trap.
We should go around.
Courtney:
That'll take three times
As long!
Gwen:
Well, I'm not crossing
That thing
And anyone with any brains
Will follow me.
Alejandro:
What if you get lost?
Every member of the team
Must make it
Over the finish line
For us to win.
Heather:
Besides, if you don't
Come with us,
We'll miss you so much!
(Shudders)
If you take that detour,
You'll cost us the game.
(Gasps) that's your plan,
Isn't it? Admit it!
Gwen:
I'll see you
On the other side...
You know,
If you make it.
Heather:
Good luck!
Talk about gullible.
Anyone who's ever seen a movie
Knows that the rope bridge
Always breaks!
Also, I'm pretty sure
Heather has rabies.
Mal:
Who wants to help me
Make someone else
Wet their pants with fear?
Huh?
Duncan:
Hold on a second.
(Coughs and clears throat)
Uh, hey, duncan.
Man am I glad to see you.
I, uh... Got lost.
Yeah, right.
Seriously, dude,
Where do I know you from?
Uh, total drama season ?
Duncan:
No. I know you
From somewhere else.
I just can't put my finger
On it.
Hmm? Yikes!
(Malevolent snicker)
Toodles!
Heather:
Come on, guys!
Nothing to be afraid of!
Alejandro:
Except you.
Maybe someone brave
Should cross it first
And make sure it's safe?
Scott:
I'll do it!
Back home,
We have a special way
To cross these bridges.
(Clears throat)
Aggghhhhhhh!
Aggghhhhhhh!
Like I said,
Nothing to it.
(Beaver chitters)
Scott:
Um...
Are beavers normally nice
Or normally evil?
Ow! Ow! Yow! Gah!
(Rope snaps,
Bridge creaks)
Vultures:
Nooooooo!
Courtney:
Ugh! Not helping!
Scott:
Ow! Yow! Ahhh!
My butt is not a chew toy!
Alejandro:
Good job!
Keep it busy!
Shall we go?
(Creaking)
Courtney:
Whoa...
(Frightened whimpers)
If I don't die on this bridge,
I'm going to k*ll gwen
For taking the long way around
And costing us the challenge!
Heather:
Whoa! (Gasps) oh.
I knew you still cared.
Now who's "typical"?
Sucker!
As if the moon affected me.
But as long as
I keep him guessing,
I'll always have
The upper hand.
How dare she trick me!
I should have let her fall?
Ugh! Estupido!
Scott:
Agh! Ow! Yow! Gah! Ow!
(Beaver growls)
Chomp this, freak!
(Buzzing, rope snaps,
Bridge creaks)
(Boom)
Alejandro:
Now the other team
Can't use the bridge!
Brilliant plan,
Courtney!
Heather:
But if gwen can't make it
Around the pit,
The bridge is no longer
An option, is it?
Alejandro:
She's right.
Terrible plan, courtney!
Courtney:
Whatever! That's gwen's problem.
(Beaver chitters)
If we lose this challenge,
It's totally gwen's fault,
Not mine.
Zoey:
Hey! Where's mike?
Cameron:
He ran off.
I think something scared him.
Where's duncan?
I thought he was with you!
Duncan:
Aggghhhh!
This is so not how I wanna die!
Gwen:
Agghhh! Get away from me,
You little freaks!
Gwen! Heads up!
(Bird squawks,
Squirrels chitter)
(Ferocious growling)
Duncan and gwen:
(Relieved sighs)
Duncan:
So, tell me...
Gwen:
Tell you what?
You know, now that you
And courtney
Are on the same team,
What has she said
About me?
Are you kidding me?
How does such a big ego
Fit inside such a teeny
Tiny brain?
She hasn't said zip
About you! Ugh!
Duncan. You know what's
Most un-cool about him?
How he's still obsessed
With courtney!
That's so un-cool
It burns.
What is her problem?
Of course courtney
Talks about me.
What else does she have
To talk about? Scott?
Ha-ha! She's just using him
To make me jealous.
Well, good luck with that!
Courtney:
Gwen!
(Huffs)
Where is she?
Maybe she's at the finish line
Already?
Zoey:
Ugh! The bridge is out!
How are we supposed
To get across now?
Sierra: hey, mike!
Mal: what? Hey! There you are!
Cameron:
Mike, where'd you go?
Sorry, cam,
A bear chased me away!
But it's okay,
I think I shook him.
But with the weird moon,
Wouldn't a bear
Be all sweet and cuddly?
Right, right. Ha ha!
Oh, I'm an idiot.
I know how
We can cross the pit!
(Laughs giddily)
Oh boy.
You know you're in trouble
When the only person with a plan
Is sierra.
Obviously mike is lying.
What's going on with him?
Zoey:
I don't know about this.
Sierra:
Trust me!
Without my smartphone,
My other senses
Have become heightened.
Just hold on tight
And try not to think about it!
Cameron:
Wait! What are we doing?!
Sierra:
(Giggles)
Something amazing!
(Cam, zoey and mike scream,
Sierra howls like tarzan)
(Hamsters scream)
(Grunts of effort)
Mal and zoey:
(Grunt and scream, fearful)
Chris:
Welcome to the finish line,
Villains.
Seems like you're still
Missing a player.
Courtney:
What?! Gwen's not here yet?
Gwen! Agh!
I knew she'd sabotage us!
(Deer growls angrily)
Courtney:
(Shrieks)
Seriously?!
(Growling)
(Chomps and whimpers)
Courtney:
You... You saved me.
Gwen:
You'd do the same
If our positions were reversed.
Well, of course I would.
No, I wouldn't!
If our positions were reversed,
I'd be one step closer
To a million dollars
And gwen would be deer food!
(Growls, monstrous roar)
Zoey:
Huh. There you are!
Sierra:
We still have a chance!
(Growling)
Alejandro:
Courtney and gwen!
The moon curse is over! Hurry!
Heather:
They know it's over,
They don't need you to narrate,
Blah-lejandro.
She is so rude!
So overbearing!
I'm so relieved.
Mike:
(Gasps)
How did I get here?
Zoey:
Mike, hurry!
Courtney and gwen:
(Pant heavily)
Mike:
Oh.
And the villains win...
Again!
Vultures:
(Cheering)
Hamsters:
(Disappointed groans)
Gwen:
(Sighs)
Wish I was on the heroes team.
Duncan:
Aw, cheer up, gwen.
There.
That should do it.
You think
She was watching?
Gwen:
Agh! I can't do this anymore!
It's over!
W-what just happened?!
(Sighs) I never thought
It would end like this.
When he kissed me on the plane
After the london challenge,
I felt fireworks.
This time, it was like
Being kissed by a shoe.
The thrill is so gone!
Chris:
Okay, peeps.
Each of you is a loser
In your own right,
But the villains
Won the challenge,
So they've earned themselves
Another night
Of luxurious luxury
At my spa hotel.
Scott:
I volunteer for exile
On boney island.
Sure. I don't care.
What? No! Why?
Sorry, babe. I gotta find
That invincibility statue.
(Helicopter rotors beat)
Courtney:
(Wistful sigh)
Chris:
Okay, people.
Tonight, we-
Cameron: wait!
Chris: now what?
Cameron:
I volunteer
For the flush of shame.
Sierra:
Nooooo!
Cameron, why?
Cameron:
Sorry, mike.
I'd love to help you with your,
Uh, problem,
But I just can't take anymore
Of, you know, this!
Oh, are you allergic
To long grass?
I can get chains instead!
Well, isn't this a perfect way
To introduce
The surprise twist.
Today's ejected hero
Is tomorrow's new villain!
Cameron:
What?!
That's right,
Instead of flushing cameron,
I'm sending him over
To the villains' side!
(Everyone gasps,
Sierra moans)
Chris:
Sorry, sierra.
(Deep inhale,
Evil snicker)
Cameron:
I'll find a way to help you,
Even from the villains' side,
I promise.
Gee. Thanks, pal.
Cameron:
Uh... Hi.
Cameron doesn't know
What he's in for.
None of them do.
If I have my way -
And I will -
Everybody loses.
Seriously,
Gwen can't do what anymore?
What is she talking about?
Chris:
Think they've had enough
Punishment?
Yeah, me neither.
Find out who's next
To take the plunge
When we return
With another all new episode
Of total... Drama...
All-stars!