02x07 - The Chefshank Redemption

[bunniefuu]

last week the dry desert Eve baked our

favorite partners like roadkill on the

blacktop

but crispy bottoms are not they still

had to mount their ancient Steve from a

hundred-foot platform but that wasn't

all a calf roping contest had the team's

lasso each other when trans crazy and

love act led him to throw challenges for

Gwen she gave him the old heave-ho and

then she got busted by his furious

teammates which led to some total drama

well poor old deputy Trent found himself

hitching a ride on the 3:10 to loon evil

screaming gaffers won the West and only

ten remain stay tuned to find out who

will win this week could it be the grips

we heard that happen we're not losers

right see for yourself

next on

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fine

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get asked me what I want

playing

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I'll get there one day

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wisdoms I called it hey a little help

this is day 12 of my manicure to risk

any more cuticle damage would be madness

dude I got this Oh rule number one do

not wake owns Beast Within first thing

in the morning oh and we had cowboy

beans last night you're seriously

risking a toxic gas leak that's all I am

to you some kind of human fart machine

well we just value our lives is all

alright big guy I love you guys

and I promise I'll never ever blow

another morning starting now I mean now

we've got open the door right I have

claustrophobia Oh boohoo this trailer is

as tight as a space between Lindsay's

ears thank you up there maybe one of us

can squeeze through what ever since the

whole Apple Trent thing went down I've

just been waiting for karma to bite me

in the butt but what could I do

he was my weakness my Achilles heel we

all have one luckily Heather has a whole

bunch of useful ones glittery objects

new hair products shameless flattery of

course only the toothpick yet service is

gonna fit through that vent I'm talking

model thin so surely the most athletic

of us would want to show off our natural

sleekness for once I agree with you I'll

do it sometimes I really wish I was one

of the guys

Owen you'll never fit I can try my best

it's not about trying it's just a

scientific no time Justin climb climb

there's a lot more to climb if Mount DJ

was here where is DJ anyway

okay maggot I'm gonna ride you till your

confidence coats the back of a spoon and

your self-respect forms stiff peaks

no more mama's boy DJ Wachtler what is

that tasteful fixed

what you're tasting is prized the most

important virtue in a man's life now

stir that pot if chef wants pride Mama's

gonna show him pride with the special

flavor blend mama spice are you sure you

want to do this yeah hope you all

enjoyed your first taste of the Gulag

canny cool off well prepare for it to

get a whole lot worse because today is

prison flick day lovely at least we've

got the only actual ex-con on our team

it was the only juvenile detention don't

get too excited

ah prison the confinement the

claustrophobia the vile nasty food and

you're always looking over your shoulder

because mr. k*ller dude wants to cut you

for taking the last Tater Tot and no

matter how hard you try digging out

spoonfuls of dirt year after year

there's no escape unless you get voted

off of course talk about overkill this

place is plenty of prison like already

not that I'm complaining I mean I should

probably be locked up for the lady sick

anyways

lockdown people let's get this challenge

started James take a prisoner from the

competition and chef I mean warden vaca

ma it's in the bag when owes us

but what if walking her up means she's

out of the challenge though but we can't

no remember we need this bag let's flip

a coin heads we win tails victory is

ours remember when Lindsay locked

herself in the bathroom she lost it

drank everyone's shampoos in case any of

them were magic potions and then barf

taun herself she'll crack for sure Joyce

Jaffer's Lindsay grips now remember this

is an important choice especially for

perennial losers like yourselves oh we

shouldn't have any trouble beating Gwen

today's first game is the prison each

team a prison chef

whips up the foul it nastiest most barf

inducing slop this side of Alcatraz Gwen

and Lindsay half the stomach as much as

they can

I know I owe the grips because of

Trent's cheating but even if we forget

Lindsay's shampoo incident last night

she nearly hurled because leshawna's g*n

smelled too minty fresh how am I gonna

puke before that rose oh no the reward

better be worth it have I ever let you

down wait scratch that anyway

the winning team gets yes what are we

supposed to do with a shovel

everybody knows more wars have been won

with the shovel than with the sword give

a man a hole and what does he have

nothing but give a man a shovel and he

can dig a hole to contain the nothing

prisoners ready and culminate Duncan

goes right for the roaches Harrell tops

it off with some slimy anchovy paste and

oh here come the horse lips where do you

even get these things they're obviously

important gosh

how's the self-respecting chef supposed

to serve mama spice and mama would be

proud I think

nice work bad I knew I could count on

you a whole lot of head hair going into

the grips concoction oh and what's this

on top of Spanky and Quinn has to eat

cuz that's just afraid time's up and

jailbirds hope your appetites are primed

feeling queasy we have the braised horse

lips with the goat brains fricassee and

the fish gut reduction topped off of

course with the toenail clippings bull

Appetit

are you maggots ready

one minute to down that child

diggit I was imagining every horrifying

barf worthy thing I could drinking the

janitors month water the time my brother

peed on my neck on the tilt-a-whirl when

I was babysitting and the dog ate the

kids diapers and then licked my face but

nothing was working

[Applause]

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Thanks my dad would've k*lled me

Gwen keeps it down for the screaming

gaffers and wins the reward I don't

worry Gwen you and your gaffers has the

gold double

they'll be thanking you in the

Elimination Challenge thanks Quinn so

much for a deal what were you and

Lindsay just talking about the weather

windy and cold with an 80% chance of

birth you're up to something and I am

finding out what you were right yeah

pride is everything thank you bride

bride and two whelps will get you a cup

of coffee what a man really needs is

loyalty if it wasn't for best disgusting

retainer thing you could have blown it

for the whole team oh wow

I was once like you young weird kind of

ugly but you've got a gift now hold it

who let it go to waste like I did meet

me in the kitchen after the child you're

on permanent KP duty soldier who knew

Shep is such a softy but I can't argue

with the man I've gotta get more spice I

love my mama elimination challenge here

we go no get out of jail free cards here

people

this is escaped from Total Drama pen

each team must hop in their laundry

carts for one member pushes through the

obstacle cards to freedom when you reach

the wall get digging first team to reach

the boxcar to freedom wins immunity

convicts select the pusher I'll do it

you sure you can handle the pressure

everything is riding on this but if you

like being the one who could lose us the

whole thing huh

I should probably lie down it's ok DJ

I'll do it the girl is seriously sketchy

I for one refuse to trust her I trust

anyone

more than I trust you now get up in that

car and shut it miss sourpuss I'm a boat

you off next seriously Heather shut it

which of you guys is pushing up ah dang

trick knees been acting up since that

time I pushed it to the max at the

Sports Justin we could use some real

manliness here look girls the gaffers

have Gwen pushing we don't want it to

look too uneven I think we need a girl

too to help hide the whole cheating

business and beautiful the way you took

on that last challenge nearly blew my

this is it teams are on your marks get

set

oh those foxy legs come on how much you

at home are way well when you're going

even faster than twenty ever could

is there a problem

I demand an explanation why have we

stopped oh oh

crimps crimp ah were they talking about

Trent the guy you were so over the same

guy who happened to get voted off last

time coincidence or did you in the grips

cut a deal don't be ridiculous

oh I give you serious props for the

nefarious scheme but if it's true you

are a goner I am cramping up I swear if

she's got a cramp she's got a cramp we

humans get them I have just the thing

for cramps

now get pushing

Lindsay

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uh-huh I was having this terrible dream

I was on this show and we were in prison

and we had to ah nuts beer nuts get

diggin sleepy Mick bumper head someone

starts in my home I'm gonna get Shauna

you'll hurt yourself hmm

would it k*ll you to offer a little

encouragement like someone who wants to

win that might do sue me for caring

about the well-being of my teammates so

you ever seen that prison flick the one

with the guy in it you know the guy with

the face so were you doing anything

after work we could always rant up or

not I was busy getting way very busy I

was just throwing it out there chill

winds throwing the game remember yeah

okay what do you say we ratchet this

operation back a notch huh yeah all

right now that's what I'm talking about

I'm starting to like our chances

oh my clothes are movia the walls

they're closing in

I'm like a caged animal man classic

prison madness and that shovel thing

heck

everyone knows first day of prison

breaks something over some big dudes

back then nobody messes with you I'm

kind of scared of Gwen now and kind of

attracted to her

don't tell us Shauna or Heather or Quinn

team where's the screaming gaffers we're

gonna win even if we have to did with

our bare hands even if we have to eat

our way out danger boy toothpick soul

patch Pew prep mama boys right let's get

dingo yeah I'd say that's heard yeah

I've been living underground amongst the

prairie dogs ah but she okay these are

my friends you are a k*ller grip one of

our sworn enemies friends enemies living

down here it changes like your whole

perspective I know a shortcut to the

finish line a shortcut isn't it great

when we're totally going to win Gwen

what choice did I have

if my team knew the truth I'd be toast

and of course I became a

second-in-command prairie dog which

meant I'd shared all the prairie dog

council meetings and oh oh here let me

[Applause]

we it's way more fun to be on the

winning team they actually won try not

to look so upset

traitor we thought you uh you put it off

kaleidoscope Izzy

time to go I'm not going anywhere that's

not my name

can I get a pen over here it says East

Oak now okay yo guys want to make sure

we keep this valid in the files as an

official record of kaleidoscopes

departure

I'll notarize it for sight that's why

they pay me the big bucks so is he still

technically in the game if you were food

you'd be dessert chocolate-covered

chocolate with chocolate sauce and

sprinkles chocolate is so nice oh and

your banana split with like 26 bananas

and a whole lot of split yeah it's so

sad that you'll be kicked off tonight

isn't it death mask

what makes your royal smugness so sure I

saw through your little stunt you

through the challenge we'd still be in

that tunnel if it wasn't for Izzy you're

gonna pay

Gwen here after all the barfing running

and digging you need to keep your

strength up

ah thanks DJ I can always count on you

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time's up

I'll tell you the votes Duncan leshawna

DJ and Harold another award and another

day - you can beat tonight's final

gilded Chris and another chance at the

million goes to

sorry Gwen you're not the winner you

lost so you're a loser it's just logic

voting for Gwen yeah that hurt I'm not

saying Heather was right but something

must have gone off for Gwen snack and

Harold upside his sweet little head like

that girl wasn't right and when you're

not right you're wrong thing is if Gwen

had stayed in the game according to

prison rules I'd either have to brake a

shovel over her head or fall in love

with her obviously neither option was

feasible my vote Plusle Shawna and

Harold's equals the greatest day of my

life bye-bye Gwennie dead girl walkin

leave her hit me what wait wait okay no

I didn't actually mean

nice try Duncan you're not getting off

that easy good lack a definition of

lousy being a stickler for your word and

having to vote yourself off whoever's in

charge of karma I hope that counts for

something

[Applause]

folks are getting feisty voting yourself

off May we knew a couple of karma points

but it definitely loses you a million

bucks check you later

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