09x26 - Mutiny on the Krusty/The Whole Tooth

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

all:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

all: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

♪ ♪

[waves crashing]

[light music]

♪ ♪

[bubbles popping]

- News flash!
A severe rip current

may soon touch down
in Bikini Bottom.

Residents are warned
to bar all windows

and stay indoors.

[hammering]

[cow moos]

Save yourselves!

- Ahh, rip current,
schmip current.

'Tain't nothing.

- Gee, Mr. Krabs,
do you think the rip current

will hit the Krusty Krab?

Ahh!
[imitates expl*si*n, splashing]

[screaming,
expl*si*n noises]

- Uh, shouldn't we
clear the docks?

Or batten down the patches?

Or whatever people say?

- Calm your waters!

Me sailor's knee
says we're not in danger, see?

[whistling, ticking]

Now, get back to work!

- Excuse me, are we in
any kind of peril?

- I think we should
all go home.

- As soon as you buy some
Patties to go, you can go.

- I'll have three
Krabby Patties.

[rumbling]

On second thought,
cancel that order!

- No takey-backsees!
Three Krabby Patties.

[buzzing]
[gasps]

Me money detector!
Where do you think you're going?

Get back in there
and spend the rest

of your money!
- But I needed it for rent.

- Listen up, everybody!
New store policy:

all money
brought into this store

must be spent here.

- Tyrant!

- Oh! Tyrant am I?

All right,
I'm a tyrant!

The worst in all
the seven seas.

What of it?
[growls]

- Hey, why's Mr. Krabs
so crabby today?

- Probably because
it's payday.

- Payday's been canceled!
[feedback squeals]

Now hear this!
I'm the captain of this ship!

Captain Krabs!

And I say no rip current

will ever harm
the Krusty Krab!

[dramatic music]

[crashing]
[chains rattle]

[screaming]

[all screaming]
[crashing]

[yelling]

[grunting]

[wood creaks]

[thud]

[crashing]

[pained groan]

[duck quacks]

- Darn arthritis.

[creaking]

[chains rattle]

[yelling]
[grunting]

[all screaming,
whimpering]

- [growls]
Hm.

[thrilling music]
[key jangles]

Yah.

♪ ♪

Yah!
Wah!

♪ ♪

[straining effort]

[popping]
- Ah!

- Squidward,
while I steer,

you tell everyone
we're safe.

- It's all right now,
everybody.

- Everything's under control
now and whatever.

[whimpering]

- Three cheers
for Squidward!

- The guy who saved
our lives.

- Let's make him
our new captain.

- Hip, hip--

all: Hooray for
Captain Squidward!

- Congratulations,
Squidward.

Oh, I mean
Captain Squidward.

- What's the meaning
of this?

- What should we do with this
tyrant, Captain Squidward?

- Captain Squidward?

- Let's flog him!

all: Yeah!

- Let's tie him
to the mast!

all: Yeah!

- Let's put
the past behind us

and start all over!

all: No!

- This is mutiny!
Listen here, Squidward.

Fun is fun,
but get me out of here!

- Sorry, I don't think
that's a captain's job.

You're on your own.
- Hey, everybody,

can we take a time out?

This is Mr. Krabs
we're talking about.

The worst tyrant
in the seven seas.

- You're not helping, boy.

- You remember Mr. Krabs.

He's the man
who brought you

the Krabby Patty!
[bell dings]

[all agreeing]

And he's the man who brought you
the double Krabby Patty.

And the Krabby Patty
with Cheese.

- [yells]
- And the Bratty Patty

for kids.
- Um, little help here.

- He also created
the Chatty Patty for teens.

And who can forget
the Hatty Patty,

the patty you wear
as a hat?

- I wear it
because I'm bald.

- Well, I guess any man
who invented

the Hatty Patty
can't be all bad.

Okay, let's get him out.

- Whoa!

Man overboard!

[yells]

- No!

Mr. Krabs!

- Well, I guess that solves
that problem.

["Taps" playing]

[bites, chews,
swallows]

- I know you'll come back
to us, Mr. Krabs!

Until then--
[slurps]

I'll leave a dollar
in the window for you.

- Hey! It's Captain Squidward's
fault that we lost the man

who invented
the Hatty Patty.

- Yeah, we're fickle
and we say

you're the tyrant now!
all: Yeah!

Uhh, don't be hasty.

Remember, I'm--
I'm still the captain.

The Hatty Patty
was my idea!

- But we're still stuck
in this rip current!

- We'll never get out!

- Oh--
[stammers]

Ooh!
[flapping sound, struggles]

Oh, barnacles!
It--ow--oh, oh!

[metal clanging]

[all yelling]

[grunting, crashing]

[straining]

[screams]
[popping]

[all yelling]

[crashing]

- Uh, We're alive!

Captain Squidward
steered us

out of the rip current!

- How 'bout a cheer
for Captain Squidward?

[all cheer]

Thank you, thank you.
Just doing my job as captain,

protecting my crew.

- Whoa, where are we?
[all exclaim]

- Oh, look at that.
That's amazing.

- This neighborhood's crazy.

I wonder if there are
any good places to eat.

- You think
maybe they've got

a Krusty Krab
around here?

- Hey, good idea.
I could go

for a Krabby Patty.
- I'm calling

the local Krusty Krab
right now.

[dial tone, dialing]

[phone rings]
- Hello, Krusty Krab.

- Yes, I'd like to
place an order.

- Oh!
[slamming]

[phone rings]

[roaring, crashing]
[all scream]

- Monster! Monster!

[roars]

- Captain!
- You gotta save us.

[squishing]
[groans]

Ahh!
Captain Squidward!

Um, I know where he is.

[panting]

[straining]
Ooh!

[thud, grunts]
- Uh, Captain,

sorry to interrupt,
but the crew needs you

to protect them.
- Are you crazy?

I can't fight a monster!

- Oh, I'm afraid
the crew insists, sir.

[all growling]

[gulps]

- I don't wanna
be captain!

I don't wanna be captain!

[all yelling]

all: [straining effort]
Yah!

- [screams]
- [munches]

- Well, that was
anticlimactic.

- Maybe he'll make
the monster sick.

- Okay, who had their money on
Captain Squidward?

Pay up.

- Well, somebody has to
step up, fight that monster,

and become captain.

And that somebody is me!

[straining]

[popping]
[breathing heavily]

[breathes, sniffs]

[gags]

[gulps, gargles]

[swallows, coughs]

Hi-ya!

Huh.

Hi.

Huh?
Boink.

Oh, what was I doing now?

[screaming]
[gasping]

[crashing, grunting]

- Hm.
- Mr. Krabs!

You're alive!

Oh, welcome back, Captain!

- Haven't you
forgotten something?

I am not captain anymore.

Squidward is.

- Uh-uh.
The monster ate him.

We need a captain,
and that's you!

Isn't that right?

[all agreeing]

- Why would I want
to be captain

to such a sorry bunch
of lubbers?

I'm through.
[roaring, glass shatters]

- And that's coming out
of your pay!

- Mr. Krabs,
this job calls for

a dictator like you!

- Hm.
[roaring, glass shatters]

- Do something,
Mr. Krabs!

- Beg me.
[all begging]

- We're begging.
Please!

[growling, slurping]

- Not buying it.
[all begging]

[shimmering tone]

- Got it!

Do you know
what this is, Mr. Krabs?

- I don't care.
- It's the first dime

you ever earned,
and I'm going to tear it up

if you don't go back
to being

the meanie we need.

- I said I don't care.

- Okay, here goes.

[straining effort]

Ah.
Ahh, wah!

[metal clangs, shatters]

Ah.

[saw buzzes]

- My leg!

- Ha, you lose.

- Hm.
Oh!

Well then, I'm gonna do
the worst thing

I can do
to your old dime.

- Oh, yeah?
What's that?

- Spend it.

[metal clangs]
- Huh?

Hmm.

Oh, no you don't!
Come here!

Gah!
[thud]

All right, everybody!
What am I?

all: Um--
[glass shatters]

- Come on.
It starts with a T.

- A tree?

- A teddy bear?

- A tuba?

- You're a tyrant?

- I can't hear you.

all: A tyrant!
[cheering]

- Correct!
All right, I'll save ya.

But you've got to promise
to spend most of your--

all of your money right
here, got it?

[all agreeing]

[roars]
[screaming]

- Hold onto me dime,
boy-o.

[growls]

[screams]

[growls]

[screaming stops]

- Well, that was
anticlimactic.

- Again.

[grumbling]
- Ho!

Ah, ah, ugh, ah!
[punching]

[vomits]

[shivering, whimpering]

Ahh!
[cries]

- Oh, ah--
[punching, straining]

Oh!

Whoa!

[upbeat music]

[punching]

Beg to me.

[all exclaiming]

Whoa!

Oh!

[growls]
Oh!

Ouch!
Oh!

Wait a minute!
Gimme that!

[bashes]

[smashing]
[yells, growls]

[crashing, squealing]

[all cheer]

[bubbles popping]

- Here ya go, Mr. Krabs.
You earned it.

- Well, boy-o,
you believed in me,

so today will be
a pay day for you.

- What about me?

- You,
Ex-Captain Squidward,

have gone from pay day
to Mayday!

Mush!
Every last one of ya!

All the way
back to Bikini Bottom!

[laughs]

[Hawaiian music]

♪ ♪

[bubbles popping]

[carnival music]

[indistinct chatter]

[munching]

- Mm, mm, mm.

- Gah, gah, gah.

- Mmm! Isn't this
salt water taffy

just taffilicious?

- And stickerific!

[both munching]

[guitar tones]

[laughs]

- Blah.

[barking]

[chewing efforts]

Eh, eh.
[hums]

[chewing efforts]

- Blah!

Ah!
[bell dings]

[swallows, chews]

[straining, yells]
[alarm blares]

- What's the matter,
Patrick?

- I have a headache
inside of my tooth.

- Maybe you should do
something about that.

- Okay, I will.

[snapping,
yelping]

- How does that help?

- Well, now that
my all-over hurts,

I'm not thinking
about my mouth.

[throbbing]
Ow!

I guess it didn't work.
[yells]

[snapping]
- Oh! Oh!

- Huh?
- [whimpering]

Whoa! That's it!

I'm taking you
to the dentist, Patrick.

- No way!
I've heard horror stories.

- Oh, don't worry,
Patrick.

Dentists
are our friends.

Huh?
Patrick?

Patrick?

Oh.

[cash register dings]

Yah!
[crashing]

[giggles]
- And we have a winner.

- [excitedly panting]

Thank you.
- Aw, darn it.

[bubbles popping]
[breathing]

Oh, boy!
Aren't dentists' offices fun?

[gasps] Oh, they've got
colorful, wooden beads on wires!

Mm! Ah.
Whoa! Look at it go!

- Slow down, SpongeBob!

This place is scary enough
without you

going crazy
with the beads!

[dramatic music]
[whimpering]

[maniacal laughter]

[whimpers]

[boing]
Oh!

[panting]
Ahh!

- [giggles]

- And that was The Incidentals,
with a startling number

called
"Dramatic Music Stings."

Comin' up,
here's The Spookers

with a haunting little
tune called "Ominous."

- Patrick Star?

We're ready for you now.

[ominous music]

- [whines]

- Aw, come on, Patrick!
- No!

- The doctor
will fix you right up.

- Sit here, please.

Dr. Mundane will be
right with you.

- Ahh!
[teeth chattering]

♪ ♪

- Agnes, please turn down
that radio.

[music stops]

I'm Dr. Beige Mundane.

You must be Patrick Star.

What seems to be
the problem?

- No problem.
I was just leaving.

- [grunts]
No, Patrick! Sit!

[water spraying]
- [blubbering]

- Good boy.

Ow!

[laughs]

- Let's take a look
in your mouth.

Open wide please.

[ship horn blares]

- Mm-hmm.
I see the problem.

- [struggling]
- Your friend here

still has a baby tooth.

- Ooh, I wanna see!
- [gulps]

[gagging]
[bats chirping]

[snoring]
- Aw!

Coochie coo!
- [crying]

[grunts]

- [laughs]

- I still have a baby tooth?

- Yes, and the pain is
coming from

your adult tooth trying to push
your baby tooth out of the way.

[straining]

- [gasps]
That's not right!

- It's the natural way
of things.

If you want the pain
to go away,

then I need to extract
the tooth.

- You leave my baby tooth alone,
you monster!

Zoom!
- Patrick, come back!

Oh!

Oh, oh, eh, eh.

- Nobody is going
to tell me

what to do
with my baby tooth.

This tooth is stayin'
in my mouth!

- Okay, Patrick,
but that means

your tooth won't be going
to Tooth Island.

- Tooth Island?
- Yeah, Tooth Island!

It's where the Tooth Fairy
takes all the baby teeth

that are left
under pillows.

Tooth island
is a wonderful place,

where teeth can be free.

They can soak in
the Calcium Pools all day

or sleep in the comfort
of the Pink Gum Trees.

They get to swing on
Floss Vines

and never, ever have to
worry about cavities.

[all beckoning]

Of course,
I guess your baby tooth

could be happy
in your mouth,

all alone, by itself.

- [wailing]

- I don't care, SpongeBob.

I know what's best
for my tooth.

I can make it happy.

[bubbles popping]

[crying]

- [moaning]

Ahh.
- [crying]

♪ Rock-a-bye, baby,
on the tree top ♪

[crying continues]

[keys jingling]
- Ah.

- [humming]

- [laughs]

- [laughs]
Oops.

[boink]
- [cries]

[bubbles popping]

[bites, chews]

- Oh!

Ohh!

[horn blares]
[screams]

[pained grunt]
Ow!

- Hmm. My friendship sense
is tingling.

Patrick must be in
trouble!

- Oh. Ooh!

- What's the matter, pal?
- Nothing! Just, uh--

Practicing being a seal.
[laughs]

[imitates seal barking]

- Hm!

- [barking]
Ow!

- Patrick,
Dr. Mundane always says,

"If you can't bite,
things ain't right."

- Okay, SpongeBob.
I guess I have to

get my tooth
to the Tooth Fairy.

- Ha, you rube.
There is no such thing

as the Tooth Fairy.
- Ah!

Squidward!
- It's all a bunch of

made up baloney.

- It is not baloney!

- It is baloney!
- Who's got baloney?

- [sighs] There is no
baloney!

Just like there is
no Tooth Fairy.

In fact, if you could
prove there were

a Tooth Fairy,
I would eat, oh--

a bucket of chum!

both: Ew!

- Squidward, why would
you want to do that?

- I said I would,
only if there was

a Tooth Fairy, and since
there isn't a Tooth Fairy,

I will never have to eat
a bucket of chum.

- Patrick,
I've been your friend

for a long time.

I would never
lie to you.

You need Dr. Mundane's help
so you can

get your tooth
to the Tooth Fairy.

- That's okay, SpongeBob.
I think I can manage.

Hmm, yah!

[humming]

[blender whirrs]

[snorts]

Ahh.

[splat]
[cries]

- Ahh!
[alarm bell ringing]

[grunts]
- You see, Patrick,

we have got to
get that tooth out.

- You'll have to
catch me first!

Oh!
- Patrick, wait!

- Ha ha,
Tooth Fairy.

What a couple
of molar morons.

[crashing]
Ow!

[panting, screaming]

[growling, howling]
[instrumental country music]

- [gasps] The worms.
Oh, oh, no!

[barking, growling]

[panting]

Oh!

[growling]
[fence rattles]

[panting]

[growling]

[blows]
[splashing]

[slurping]

[barking]

[spits]

[screams]
[thud]

[groans]

Not wanted.

That fixes it.

[barking]
[whimpers]

[growling]

Oh.

[whimpering]

[jaws snapping]

Ahh.

[barking]

- Mipsey, Pipsey,
you bad girls!

You get back
on this leash.

[whining]

- Well, you may have
called off your worms,

but I'm not coming down.
- Patrick, they weren't mine.

- A likely story.
- [sighs]

Patrick, can I show you
something?

[grunting]

- What's that?
- It's a scrap book

of all my baby teeth.

Heh, that was a good one.

I remember every tooth.

Even though they're no longer
in my mouth,

I still keep the memory
of them in my heart.

- [laughs] I thought you kept
them in the scrapbook.

- Patrick, don't you think
your baby tooth

wants to see all his old
friends on Tooth Island?

- Don't listen to him!

I still have all my baby teeth,
and look at me!

Ahh!
[maniacal laughter]

[both exclaim]

- Okay, SpongeBob,
we can go.

[bubbles popping]

[mechanical whirring,
squeaking]

I'm ready, Doc.
Do what you have to do.

Ahh.
[yanking]

- I'm done.

- That's it?
- That's it.

- Aw.

Aw, you're going under
my pillow

so you can go
to Tooth Island, my sweet boy.

[bubbles popping]

[snoring]

[grunts, gasps]

SpongeBob?
- Ha! I was right!

The Tooth Fairy
isn't real.

- Oh, SpongeBob.

- Patrick,
you don't understand!

I'm just helping
to get your tooth

to the Tooth Fairy.
- Oh, that's a good one.

- It's true!
- How can I believe you?

Oh, the lies!
The chicanery! [sobs]

- [laughs]

Look at how betrayed
Patrick feels!

Oh, this was totally
worth staying up all night.

- You don't believe
there's a Tooth Fairy?

Well, follow me
and I'll show ya.

Behold, the Tooth Ferry!

[ship horn blares]

This is where parents
and friends

take teeth so they can be
ferried to Tooth Island.

- There really is
a Tooth Ferry!

- Of course.

- Hm--wha!

- All aboard!

[all cheering]

- Uh, uh, oh.

Uh-huh, hello!

- [restrained crying]

[horn blares]
[cheering]

[blows nose]

- Oh, here.
This is yours.

- Could you wait till
I'm asleep

and put it
under my pillow?

- Mm, sure Patrick.
Anything for a pal.

[cash register dings]
- Hey! Where do you think

you're going,
chum chewer?

- [groans] Ah!
Hey, come on!

This is just a big
misunderstanding!

Ferry, fairy:
They're two different words

that just happen
to sound alike!

- Open wide, Squidward!
- No.

[teeth screaming]

[panicked yelling]
[horn blares]