09x03 - License to Milkshake/Squid Baby

[bunniefuu]

Are you ready, kids?

Aye, aye, Captain!

I can't hear you.

Aye, aye, Captain!

♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

SpongeBob SquarePants!

♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

- SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob SquarePants! ♪

♪ SpongeBob ♪

♪ SquarePants! ♪

Another order? Okay!

Get ready, Spaty!

Time to grill up one more...

...golden-piping hot Krabby Patt- wha?

Double dipped milkshake?

Gee! I haven't made one of those in awhile!

Order up!

One double dipped milkshake!

Wait!

I almost forgot!

Cherry on top!

There you are sir!

A perfect double dipped milkshake!

- Enjoy!
- Well! It looks delightful!

This thing's frozen!

BARNACLES!

How am I supposed to drink this!?

Gah!

This shake is disgusting!

Why, you probably don't even have a license to milkshake!

A license to milkshake?

Well of course I do silly!

And it doesn't expire until...

...seven years ago!?

Your milkshake license expired seven years ago!?

Outrageous! I demand a refund!

No!

Let's not say things we might regret later!

Tell you what, you come back tomorrow...

...and SpongeBob will make you a proper milkshake.

Alright! See you tomorrow!

Where are we going, Mr. Krabs?

I'm taking you back to school!

"One, two, three, four"

There you are boy! The Milkshake Academy!

You know boy? Milkshaking technology and...

...know-how is advanced...

...since you were last a cadet!

I shall do my best sir!

Hey! Look! Up at the sea!

I don't think he's wearing a parachute.

At ease, cadets!

Welcome to the Milkshake Academy.

I'm your instructor: Captain Frostymug!

Let's not beat around the bush here boys.

Your mamma's not here...

...to wipe the whipped cream...

...from your chinny-chin-chins!

And I'm not here to help you...

...with your bendy straws.

My sole purpose is to transform you...

...from mere guppies into cool...

...cold-drafted, chilled to the bone...

...ice cream blooded...

...licensed milkshake makin' guppies!

But you must prove yourself worthy of this distinction!

Do you consire youself worthy?

Cadet Squarepants?

Yes sir! Worthy and ready!

I see. Then this first test will be a breeze.

What do you call... this?

Oh, that's easy!

It's an ice cream spatula!

That's enough!

This, Cadet Squarepants, is your scooper.

The most vital w*apon in the milkshaker's arsenal!

It's clear that most of you understand the fundamentals.

Now it's time to see what you can do!

Cadets!

Man your milky, milky stations!

A few more bells and whistles than I'm used to.

But I think I can work with this!

Oh dear!

Fantastic!

Nice and creamy mouth feel!

SquarePants appears to be having problems... again.

You! Please explain where he has gone wrong!

Sir, yes sir!

Sir! He is attempting to use the upper control panels to mix!

Sir! Every cadet knows that these are telementry functions.

And all of the controls are on the lower panel! Sir!

Oh! That's right!

Heh, how silly of me! Mr. Krabs' right.

Milkshaking has changed over the years.

Very good! But how does it taste?

Maybe we need to get back to basics.

Listen up Cadet Squarepants!

If you want to make a milkshake...

...you gotta know how it feels to be a shake!

Behold! The Shake Simulator.

In you go. Now! March!

Hut two three four!

Hut two three four! Hut!

Teach this upstart a lesson...

I'm setting it to "obliterate!"

But sir! No one's ever survived "obliterate!"

Silence!

He needs to learn cadet.

Now, let's see how the boy turned out.

That was fun! Can I go again?

Never, in my thirty years of milkshake instruction...

...have I had such an unteachable moron!

Cadets!

Do you have any ideas on how to teach Cadet SpongeBob?

You'd be better off teaching a hunk of coral, sir!

I'll show you!

I'll show you all I can make a milkshake!

When you first came to me just four short hours ago...

...you were nothing but a bunch of soda jerks!

But now, you stand before me...

...proud, mighty, milkshake makin' machines!

It is with great pride...

...I bestow upon you...

...your milkshake operator license!

Now, come up here and get them!

Well! I'm afraid there're aren't no more milkshake licenses.

And do you know why?

Um... the printer ran out of ink?

No, you simpleton!

There're aren't anymore milkshake licenses...

...because YOU don't get one!

Why not?

Hmm... let me see.

Maybe it's got something to do with the fact...

...that you couldn't even get past Step # ...

...of making a milkshake:

Filling the glass with ice cream!

NO Captain Frostymug!

I can do it! Let me show you!

I just know I can!

No, here let me show you!

You're suppose to raise the cup to the spinny thing!

Um, the...

the spinny thing...

Boy! I can't wait to have one of your renowned shakes Sir Frostymug!

You tried the rest, now prepare for the best!

Nooooo!

What's wrong Captain Frostymug?

I haven't touched a milkshake machine in twenty years!

Dear Neptune's thunderclap!

I'm stuck in the blender!

Heeeelp!

Captain Frostymug!

My arm!

Don't worry sir! I'm coming!

I Gotcha you Captain!

Save yourself boy!

I'm a goner!

No! I'm not leaving you behind!

Thanks, SpongeBob.

You know, no one has ever treated this...

...old captain with much kindness.

And in return...

...I'd like to tell you a little secret.

All these years...

I've been able to make milkshake...

...without machines because...

...making milkshakes really comes from within!

Does that make sense?

Not at all.

One milkshake, coming right up!

You redeemed yourself SpongeBob!

This is the BEST milkshake I'd ever had!

Where'd you learn those moves, SpongeBob?

That would be from me!

And in light of decent events, SpongeBob.

I'd like to give you this.

My milkshake license!

If only it were this easy to get a boating license!

In droplets gently cascade over your body.

Visualize yourself in a private grotto.

Focus your perceptions animated form.

In the soothing nature of the rustic call.

You are one with nature.

What the-

Barnacles!

How do you like that, baby?

Oh yeah.

Well, what do ya think about this, baby?

Question.

Are you two acting even more infantile than usual this morning?

Uh, huh.

Cause I found a box of my old baby toys in the attic.

And we're playing with them.

Hey! My old Teddy Walrus!

This stuff really takes me back.

Yeah. It makes me feel baby-ish.

Oh. Look at me I'm a baby!

Babies don't talk like that Patrick.

They talk like...

Just as the essential oils were kicking in.

Hey! I'd appreciate some quiet!

How dare you scoot away from me?

I'm scolding here!

Would you two for once, act your age!

Fine! Act like infants you're whole life!

See if I care!

I'm returning to my grown up lifestyle.

So keep it down!

Squidward!

Hey, he's mumblin' and droolin' like a little baby.

Well, I don't know, Patrick.

He isn't looking so good.

He should probably see a doctor.

Come on, let's take him to the hospital!

Hang in there buddy.

We'll have you fixed up in no time.

So, what's the prognosis doctor?

Your friend has a condition known...

...by the medical term of...

...Head-go-boom-boom-itis.

Not to worry though...

...he should recover over normally over time.

But he mustn't receive any more blows to the head...

...or he may remain this way permanently.

Just care for him...

...as if were your very own...

...bouncy baby boy...

...and he'll be fine.

Hey little Squidward.

Ready for some fun?

Woop-ee-doo!

Okay Squidie! Din din is ready.

Where is our little miracle?

Patrick, how could you!

There! My little darling.

Were supposed to protect his head remember?

Okay Squidie! I made your favorite.

Grilled Tar Tar with a algae vinaigrette.

Here it comes, open wide!

Oh, come on little buddy.

You got eat healthy...

...so you can grow up to be big and cranky.

Just like the airplane landing in the hanger.

See Patrick?

Sometimes you have to out-think the baby.

You know Patrick maybe...

Thanks for sharing baby.

OK. Time to lighten things up!

Do you like games Squidie?

Games is our middle name!

Kelpy Cake, Kelpy Cake

Kelpy Man

eafsdfsdfsd

You like that Squidie?

- He does!
- Now you try.

This game's kinda dangerous.

Squidie!

Squidie! No!

Don't worry. I got this!

Hooray!

Huh! Squidward!

Squidie, are you okay?

We need to do a better job of protecting him.

There, there now, no need to cry.

Everything is gonna be okay.

Hey, don't worry.

He'll be settled down in couple of minutes.

hours later...

It's minute till opening.

Where the barnacles are me employeries?

I don't pay them to be late.

Taking care of a baby sure is hard.

You said it! I'm exhausted!

Hey, Patrick. I have to go to work.

Would you mind holding Squidw...

Looks like we're the only, little fella.

SpongeBob, Squidward!

Enough duff-dragging!

Get to your stations, pronto!

Mr. Krabs, Squidward is in no condition...

...to perform his Krusty duties.

The poor guy has the mind of an infant.

I don't care if he has seaweed-for-brains.

He needs to be behind that register.

We've got customers out there...

...just begging to hand me their money.

- But...
- No buts! Get to work, you two!

All settled into your work station, I see.

Maybe you're ready for your Krusty duties after all.

Now let's make it official!

How silly of me!

Squiddy needs a high chair!

And duct tape!

Oh, Squiddy. I'm so proud of you.

Just yesterday, you were drooling all over me.

And look at you now.

Working and sitting in a big boy seat!

All right! That's enough, you two.

Time to serve some customers!

Remember, buddy. I'll be right behind you.

Can I get a Krabby Patty...

...and a large kelp shake, please?

Okay. How much do I owe ya?

Squidward!

That's not for eating!

There we are. Good as neww-

That's not for eating either!

Sorry, sir.

Hop to it, boys. We haven't even taken our first order!

Yes, Mr. Krabs!

You know what to do.

Thanks, Squiddy. I can also count on, huh...

Will this be for here or to goo?

We have to work on your penmanship, Squiddy.

My face! My face!

Also my leg, but mostly my face!

Hey! You going to take an order or what?

Squidward!

Yelling at a poor, defenseless baby!

You oughta be ashamed.

Listen, man!

I'm done playing these baby games!

Oh, my Neptune!

What is that? What is it?

What in blazes is going on around her...

Mr. Squidward!

Where are your manners?

- Mr. Krabs, watch his head!
- Watch his head?

Why don't you watch his diaper?

And get it changed!

Yes, sir! Yes, sir!

- We're eating here!
- Sorry!

- Hey, I'm trying to walk here!
- Sorry!

- Hey, I was gonna get ketchup there!
- Sorry!

Okay, Squiddy. Hold still!

Oh, boy!

Are you out of your ever-living mind?!

We can't change that baby out here...

...in front of the customers!

Take him in back where the food is prepared.

Oh, that's it!

Get that poopy baby out of me restaurant!

Mr. Krabs.

If my poopy baby isn't welcome here...

...then I'm not staying either!

Squidward!

What the-

Where am I?

What's going on?

Oh, Squidward. You're back to your normal grown-up self.

Of course I'm grown up!

Why wouldn't I be?!

Am I wearing a diaper?

- Yes.
- Is it full?

Sorry, Squidward!

I was gonna change it, but I got in the wra...
- Stop!

Not another word about this.

Ever!

Kids, they grow up so fast.