01x05 - See Saw
Posted: 05/16/22 07:03
["I SHOT THE SHERIFF" PLAYING]
♪ I shot the sheriff ♪
♪ But I didn't sh**t no deputy ♪
♪ Oh, no, oh ♪
♪ I shot the sheriff ♪
♪ But I didn't sh**t no deputy ♪
"Fords bring dancing
back to the White House."
Well, what can I say? I'm a dancer.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Your mother was fantastic.
Your father and I are a very good team.
Now you just have to deal
with Nixon, Dad. No big whoop.
Just sending
a former president to prison.
Mmm, it's definitely a big whoop.
Is he going to go
to one of those prisons
with tennis courts?
I don't know, Susan.
I suppose it's a possibility.
I think we'll all be very relieved
when the whole thing is behind us.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [ASSISTANT] Pardon me.
Mr. President,
Mr. Rumsfeld and Mr. Cheney
would like to speak with you urgently.
- Thank you.
- [ASSISTANT] Thank you, sir.
- [DOG WHINES]
- Come on.
I do not envy your father right now.
You think Pat Nixon knew what
was going on the whole time?
- I don't know, honey.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- I don't...
I don't even know how much
your dad can tell me.
Who knows what President Nixon told Pat?
Daddy is going to punish him, isn't he?
Hmm. No, your father
will do the right thing.
["I SHOT THE SHERIFF" PLAYING]
History will write the true story
of President Nixon.
He has done good,
but he's done irreparable harm
in... in standing up and lying,
bold-facedly,
to the people over and over again.
It's, uh... It's a shattering experience
to find a man in
the highest office doing that.
♪ I, I, I ♪
♪ I shot the sheriff ♪
♪ Lord I didn't shot the deputy ♪
♪ No ♪
[CAMERAMAN] Standing by, Mr. President.
♪ I... I... shot the sheriff ♪
♪ But I didn't sh**t no deputy ♪
[CLEARS THROAT]
[SUSAN] It's quite yellow.
It's very cheerful.
How's it going, Robert?
[ROBERT] It's going well.
Thank you, ma'am.
[SUSAN] Oh, wow. Very floral, Mother.
[SCOFFS] You are such a snob.
- Huh, where do you get that?
- [TV ANCHOR] Mr. Ford was asked
by reporters what he would be
doing for the rest of the day.
He replied, "You will find out shortly."
Three hours later,
in his White House office,
- this is what happened.
- [SUSAN] Mom, Daddy's on TV.
[GERALD] Serious allegations
and accusations
hang like a sword over
our former president's head.
Finally, I feel that
Richard Nixon and his loved ones
have suffered enough
and will continue to suffer,
no matter what I do...
No matter what we,
as a great and good nation
can do together to make
his goal of peace come true.
Now, therefore, I, Gerald R. Ford,
president of the United States
pursuant... [CLEARS THROAT]
...to the pardon power conferred upon me
by Article Two, Section Two
of the Constitution,
have granted,
and by these presents, do grant
a full, free and absolute pardon
unto Richard Nixon
for all offenses
against the United States
committed from January ,
through August , .
[CAMERAMAN]
We're off camera, Mr. President.
Pensive music
There's been some angry reaction
to the Nixon pardon.
[NEWS ANCHOR ] According to
White House statistics,
phone calls are heavy now,
running about - .
But telegrams are six to one
against the president's decision,
to telegrams an hour.
One telegram from Virginia said,
"Roosevelt had his New Deal.
Truman had his Fair Deal.
Now Ford has his crooked deal."
Hi, there.
What time is it?
Why aren't you in bed?
Everything all right?
No, Jerry.
It's not.
Have you noticed
that I never once asked you
about those tapes?
The burglaries, the wiretaps,
who was involved, who wasn't involved.
Anything about Watergate.
I didn't know, Betty.
Of course you didn't,
because if you did,
you wouldn't have been able
to live with yourself.
Do you realize how this makes you look?
How this makes our family look?
[SCOFFS]
Hey, this was not an easy decision.
I didn't go in there
expecting to pardon him.
Then why the f*ck did you do it?
To end the pain this country is in!
I had my first press conference
as president two days ago.
The only thing any reporter,
every last one of them,
wanted to talk about was Nixon!
Nothing about our economic crisis,
nothing about our foreign policy
issues. Just Nixon!
So you let him off!
He accepted the pardon!
That is an admission of guilt!
Without consequences for his actions!
You know that this makes us
look complicit, don't you?
Like we're part of the cover-up!
I know why I did what I did, Betty.
If you don't believe in me,
I can't change that.
- No, you can't.
- [SCOFFS]
I really believed
you were going to bring
some of your goodness to the office.
Dramatic music
- Oh! I... Sorry, ma'am.
- Oh, pardon me.
[MUFFLED CHATTERING]
- [PHONES RINGING]
- [TYPEWRITERS CLACKING]
[CLEARS THROAT]
- Hi.
- [RECEPTIONIST] Can I help you?
I'm here for Gerald Ford.
[RECEPTIONIST] Uh, down that way.
Betty. How are ya?
What are you doing here?
Why haven't you told me?
Do you wanna go outside and talk?
Let's go outside and talk.
- Let's go outside.
- No, no, no. It's...
It's because I'm a divorced woman.
Yeah.
I should've told you. Betty, hey...
- [WHISPERS] Don't you touch me.
- I should've told you.
I'm sorry I made you feel like
you weren't enough, okay?
You are. You're enough,
and I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It won't happen again. I messed up.
[CHATTERING]
No secrets.
I won't. This won't happen again.
♪ This land is your land ♪
♪ This land is my land ♪
♪ From California ♪
♪ To the New York island ♪
♪ From the redwood forest ♪
♪ To the Gulf Stream waters ♪
♪ I tell you ♪
♪ This land ♪
♪ Was made for you and me ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ One bright sunny morning ♪
♪ In the shadow of the steeple ♪
♪ Down by the welfare office ♪
♪ I saw my people ♪
♪ I was wondering ♪
♪ If this land ♪
♪ Was made for you and me ♪
[SIRENS IN DISTANCE]
["SILVER BELLS" PLAYING ON STEREO]
[FRASER] Well, she was up
early this morning
doing all this cooking, and now...
[CRAIG] She said she would
only be a few minutes.
[FRASER] She in the room.
We're sitting here ready to eat.
Come on, now.
Looks good, though.
Marian! We're ready to eat.
[MARIAN] Go ahead. Start without me.
Great, 'cause candied yams don't
taste right when they're cold.
Boy, don't try me on the eve
of our Savior's birth.
Put that spoon down.
I'm on Craig's side
about the candied yams.
Let me see how long Mom's gonna be.
My husband has MS.
He needs his medication.
Well, what's the point of
insurance if you can't help him?
We don't have $ !
Well...
Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
Merry f*cking Christmas.
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]
[MEL] Oh, God, I would k*ll
for some sugar right now.
- [SUSAN SHER] Mel.
- [MEL] Proper chocolate.
- Hey, Val.
- Hey, Mich.
How'd it go?
Rahm won't consider any new legislation
remotely connected to health care.
He's obsessed with the Midterms.
Uh-huh. I've been looking
at those polls too, and yikes.
Yeah, I'm worried.
- Me too.
- Barack loves
the Healthy, Hunger-Free
Kids Act, so f*ck Rahm.
- Just go do it. Get it started.
- [GASPS]
I mean, who will not back a bill
about children's health?
Believe it or not,
and I have this on the best authority,
even Republicans have kids.
- No.
- Yes.
I saw one once in the West Wing.
Looked like a very tiny turtle.
- Stop.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
You're so bad. I'm gonna
tell 'em you said that.
Oh, you absolutely... No, you are not!
Don't say nothing till
we pass that act, though.
Don't you tell him what I said.
- [LAUGHING]
- Shut the door.
This is good news, ladies. So...
The Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act.
The goal is to fight childhood
obesity and hunger together.
[NEWS ANCHOR ]
This represents $ . billion
of allocated funding
which will then go to the schools.
[KIDS LAUGHING, CHATTERING]
It's my happy place.
This one? Get some hummus. Okay. Enjoy.
Mrs. Obama,
can we get a picture, please?
[MICHELLE] Of course.
[CAMERA CLICKS]
- Thank you!
- Thank you!
I think we need some more
extras. Do we have any more?
Yeah, we'll just use these. That
should be good enough, right?
- Sylvie, which one do you want?
- This one's fine.
- Okay. Here you go.
- [SYLVIE] Thank you.
Sylvie. Did you want two of those?
Oh, I'm sorry. I can put it back.
The lunch ladies usually
give me an extra lunch.
This one's for my mom.
Okay. You know what?
Take this one too, okay?
Take care of yourself.
- I will.
- Okay?
- Mel! Okay.
- [MEL] Okay.
- Senator Al Franken.
- Oh, Senator Franken.
- [MEL] Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- [MEL] Senator Amy Klobuchar.
- Amy will like this.
She will love this.
Yeah, you can take that one.
And Senator Lindsey Graham.
Hi.
Give him extra eggplant. Or carrots.
- These?
- [MEL] Love it.
Let's hope there's no ethics law
making veggies bribery.
Hey, are you and Neil doing okay?
Yeah, we're fine.
- Actually, we're not fine.
- Mmm.
The other night,
he told me that he feels like
we're in an open marriage
with my BlackBerry.
Ooh. Susan...
Listen, you know I appreciate
the time you put in,
but if you ever need to...
[SUSAN SHER] Can I take the weekend?
- Ladies, bad guy's here. Wow.
- Oh, God.
- What can I do for you, Rahm?
- [RAHM] Very impressive.
Um... Hi.
We can't have you
sending senators swag bags
- from the White House garden.
- Why not?
Well, A, it makes us look
f*cking ridiculous.
And B, because all of
these brilliant conservatives
somehow were able to convince the public
that Obamacare equals
government overreach
and turning America into a nanny state.
So now is not the time to say,
"Hey, kids, why don't you
swap out those cheeseburgers
and have some kale
and f*cking cucumbers."
Are you saying that Americans
don't care about their kids' health?
Type diabetes, obesity,
people living miles away
from fresh food.
Or do you not care about that?
I don't want my kids eating
that greasy shit either.
But right now,
we need to win the Midterms,
and the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act
is not helping our poll numbers.
If I were honest, I think
that you have the wrong takeaway
from these Midterm polls.
Oh, really? Wow.
Look, please, I'm begging you. Tell me.
What is your expert political
analysis on this...
You didn't make health care
personal. You didn't own it.
I get that you're passionate about this,
and I understand your connection to it.
I know you don't think so, but I do.
I'm telling you from experience.
I learned the hard way, all right?
Making things personal
can get in the way of smart politics.
Well, maybe sometimes you have to say,
"Forget about smart politics,
do what's right and trust the rest."
That sounds amazing.
But it's not realistic.
You know what though? It's your realm.
Do whatever you want. I'm just
letting you know my opinion
because I know you're dying to hear it.
I think you're making a mistake.
That's all.
Sorry, please go back
to your vegetation.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[GENTLE MUSIC]
[MALVINA] Front page.
Ooh! Oh, good.
Definitely not a puff piece.
Hmm. Thank you, Samuel.
Thank you.
[COUGHING]
Morning, Louis.
- [LOUIS] Morning.
- Louis.
Tommy.
That's some article.
Oh, I haven't read it.
Everyone else has.
- Oh?
- [LOUIS] Usually,
one consults with the president
before giving direct quotes to reporters
announcing cuts to White House spending.
Oh, nothing stopped him from saying it.
[LOUIS] Yeah. Actually, many things did.
Uh, let's see. Tact, um, strategy,
timing, a desire
for a positive outcome...
I believe that an administration
demonstrating fiscal austerity
during a depression
can most certainly lead
to a positive outcome.
Right. Um, Eleanor, there is
a way that things are done here.
[ELEANOR] You know,
a great political adviser
once told me to stop laughing
when I spoke of serious things.
That adviser,
the same adviser who became one
of my most trusted friends,
also told me that I should
lower the pitch of my voice
so that men would not dismiss me
as a frivolous woman.
Now everyone, including that friend,
is telling me to be quiet.
This is the highest office in the land.
You have a wide audience to win over.
Being contrary doesn't translate
into widespread appeal.
I see. People prefer pleasant.
The president's advisers
think his g*dd*mn wife
should stay in the background!
Hick's article is positive,
yes, but the others...
Well...
they seem to have asked
their cartoonist to be as...
cruel as possible.
Louis.
Not everyone likes you as much as we do.
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[LORENA] I know ten female reporters
who've been let go
now that the election's over.
- No.
- Yes. Yes.
Is your job secure?
Yeah.
Thanks to our collaboration,
the AP offered me
White House Correspondent,
exclusively covering you.
No.
What, a whole job
just dedicated to one person?
That seems a bit excessive.
- Doesn't it?
- No. That's nonsense.
You already helped appoint
the first female cabinet member.
I know you gave the president
a long list of women.
I did, but Frances Perkins wasn't on it.
[CHUCKLES] Well, still,
it's an historic appointment.
You put the issue front and center.
I suppose.
I can't wait to see what's next.
Well, I'm afraid
you'll be sorely disappointed.
I'm a bit unseasoned for politics.
And clearly too ugly for First Lady.
This guy...
This guy is an ignorant, talentless hack
who isn't fit to shine your shoes.
If you can't see
how beautiful you are...
You have an audience,
your radio show, your columns,
and the most powerful man
in the country. Use it.
[STATIC ON RADIO]
"One's philosophy
is not best expressed in words.
It is expressed
in the choices one makes.
And the choices we make
are ultimately our responsibility.
Do what you feel
in your heart to be right,
for you'll be criticized anyway.
No matter how plain a woman may be,
if truth and honesty
are written across her face,
"she will be beautiful."
A female-only press conference?
Yes. Led by Mrs. Roosevelt.
Well, Franklin is so busy now,
and it will allow me to share
in the very important and good work
this administration is doing.
Yes, and it would promote
the employment of women.
As press secretary, all events
in this house go through me.
And this idea reveals
is a misunderstanding,
a clear, basic misunderstanding
of your role in this house.
The role of First Lady
has never officially
been defined or codified.
But the expectations have,
by time and practice.
- I cannot allow this.
- [ELEANOR] "Allow"?
Mr. Early,
this conversation is a courtesy.
Steve, this is clearly
a good idea, all right?
It enables communication
between the White House
and American women...
A voter base, by the way.
A base that will grow and grow.
A growing voter base
that we will very much need
by our side in
the next election, clearly.
I can't approve this agenda.
It's too political.
What is there other than politics?
[EARLY] Women's issues.
Cooking and cleaning and sewing...
You would like me
to hold a press conference
to discuss dusting?
Or baking.
Vacuuming?
Knitting.
Yes, these are all great.
These are all great.
- [MALVINA SCOFFS]
- Goodbye, Mr. Early. Thank you.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Remind me never to ask him again.
Were you aware that Joe Namath
has a gentle, sensitive side?
- Look how gentle he looks.
- [NANCY] So gentle.
- Very gentle.
- [BETTY LAUGHS]
It's just nice to read about
something other than Watergate.
Oh, speaking of, your new
press secretary starts tomorrow.
We need to get a meeting in the books.
- [KNOCKING]
- Hello, Mrs. Howe.
Oh, Madam First Lady.
Oh, good afternoon.
She's my moral support.
I see. Ready for your mammogram?
Ready as I'll ever be!
I'll be in the waiting room with Joe.
Wait, Betty... You've never had
a mammogram, have you?
No.
Can you make room
for the First Lady, Doctor?
- Nancy.
- Well, everyone's supposed
to have a mammogram.
Right, Dr. Goldberg?
We suggest women over
be screened every year, yes.
See? And they don't tell us this stuff.
Another way that women
are kept in the dark.
We'd be happy to fit you in
if you'd like.
Then I don't have to suffer alone.
It's not that bad.
A little uncomfortable at most.
Basically like laying down
on a cold garage floor
and pulling out your breast
and having someone
- run over it with a car.
- Nice.
I'm kidding. Kind of.
It's just a little pressure.
Be over before you know it.
You're doing it.
Mammogram for two, please.
Nurse will bring in your robes.
I'm really not sure
if I wanna do this, Nancy.
It's a little uncomfortable,
but it'll be quick and easy.
And you're my friend and I want
you here as long as possible.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- For me.
- Okay.
[DOOR OPENS]
- Mrs. Ford.
- [BETTY] Thank you.
- Of course.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- That's efficient.
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[DOOR OPENS]
Mrs. Ford. Thank you
for giving us a bit more time.
This is Dr. Fouty, Chief of Surgery.
He'd like to examine you a bit further,
- if that's all right with you.
- Oh, of course.
Just lie back on the table, Mrs. Ford.
- Promise I will make this quick.
- [BETTY] Mmm.
[DR. FOUTY] Just right here.
- Is there a problem?
- Just extra precaution.
We're double checking.
Okay.
- Any pain here?
- Mm-mmm.
[DR. FOUTY] Mm-hmm.
Very good. Okay.
You can get dressed.
Mmm. Thank you.
- That's it?
- That's it.
I will contact you
if we need to see you again.
Thank you.
[DR. GOLDBERG] Thank you, Mrs. Ford.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
- Susan.
- Mom.
What is it? Oh.
- [GERALD] Dr. Lushkin.
- Dr. Lushkin.
I... I'm terribly sorry.
Um, uh, Susan came in
- and... and we were discussing...
- I needed something for my cold
and so I went to see Dr. Lushkin,
and he asked where you were,
that he needed to talk
to you about something
and I made him tell me why.
Uh, Betty. Your, um, mammogram
and examination today
revealed a tumor.
Hmm.
Tumors can be removed, right?
[DR. LUSHKIN] Uh, Dr. Fouty
would like to do a biopsy
as quickly as possible.
To see if the tumor is... cancerous.
Correct. Depending on size and spread,
we may recommend undergoing
a mastectomy, ma'am.
I see.
What exactly is that?
It's a partial, and sometimes
full, removal of the breast.
I'd like to schedule something
for tomorrow.
Oh, no. I can't.
- Tomorrow I have a full day.
- Mom, are you kidding?
Is it safe for her to wait hours?
Well, no longer than that.
That's what we'll do then.
- Thank you, Dr. Lushkin.
- Thank you, Doctor.
"Yesterday, I accompanied a friend
to the doctor.
Um, she was getting a mammogram.
For support, I got one too.
Unfortunately, the results of mine
"showed some... abnormalities."
May I suggest something
more along the lines of,
"I went in for a routine procedure.
- "Everything came back clean."
- That doesn't make any sense.
[BETTY] But if they do find cancer,
saying something came back clean
when it didn't is lying.
I'm an expert at finessing.
"My doctor believes
there is a strong chance
I have breast cancer.
Tomorrow I undergo a biopsy.
The results will determine
whether they continue
with a full mastectomy.
I say this not to cause alarm,
but because this administration
always strives for transparency.
And I encourage American women
"to take their health
into their own hands."
Thank you.
A-plus, Petunia.
It's my nickname for her.
I'm sorry. Remind me your role again.
Bodyguard. Black belt.
Don't worry, your death
will be quick and painless.
You won't even know it happened.
She's my special assistant.
- Is there a problem?
- Of course not, ma'am.
But this is a such a personal matter.
I would caution against talking
to the press like this.
That's right, it is personal... to me.
Which means I get to decide
- how to deal with it.
- But...
Send the release out wide, Shirley.
- Yes, ma'am.
- [BETTY] Thank you.
["ROCK THE BOAT" PLAYING]
So I'd like to know where
you got the notion...
She's so mad
you wouldn't let her finesse.
And she thinks you might k*ll her.
[SCOFFS] Well, I might if she
doesn't loosen up a little bit.
Geez Louise.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
♪ To rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't tip the boat over ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't tip the boat over ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Hello, darling.
Come in. Keep me company.
[SIGHS] What do you think?
I'm having a hard time choosing.
Are you really worried
about your wardrobe right now?
Well, nothing wrong
with looking good in a crisis.
[CHUCKLES]
Which one?
The blue one, I guess.
Good choice. Brings out my eyes.
- Mom.
- I know. I know.
- [SNIFFLES]
- It's okay.
I'm scared too.
But we're going to get through this.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Okay.
We've dealt with a lot of crap before
and we'll deal with this.
But it's okay to be scared, honey.
[WHISPERS] Yeah.
[SIGHS] Really? You think the blue?
[LAUGHING] I guess.
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[KATIE COURIC] And finally tonight,
to put the political powershift
in Washington in perspective,
our experts tell us House Democrats
lost more than half the landmass
they once held
as district after district
went from blue to red.
A remarkable turnaround
in two short years.
Tonight was ten shades of terrible.
[GROANS] Hate to say I called it, but...
Those boys in the West Wing,
they let the GOP spin health care
into socialism and death panels,
instead of connecting
to everyday people,
just like we advised them to do
over and over and over again.
So I'll say it. You called it.
He's gonna be crushed.
Just when you think
you've covered some ground.
Well, hey! Hey, now. What happened
to the "success is inside you,
just dig deep" Michelle?
Because this sucks.
- Well...
- But we'll figure out a way.
The things we pulled off at U of C.
Hmm. We did some things.
We kicked some ass,
is what we did. Michelle.
[TV CHATTERING CONTINUES]
You go up there and console
your wounded husband.
I'll poke around
and see what senators I can find
to sponsor this bill of ours, hmm?
You don't have to do that, Susan.
Don't sweat it.
And if Mel and I have to go down there
and kick down some doors
ourselves, by God, we'll do it.
- Right, Mel?
- What? Of course.
- Let's do it. What are we doing?
- Mel.
- Mel, you need to go to bed.
- I know.
Go to bed. Go to bed, Mel.
- I love you all.
- We know.
- Yeah.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Mel.
[KATIE COURIC] The GOP sent word
they would not vote with the Democrats.
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[DOOR OPENS]
At least the Bulls are doing well.
Derrick Rose is having
the season of his career.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I'm getting dunked on
by conservative extremists.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, I should have let you
and your team
help us sell health care.
Yep.
Well, you know, it's not all your fault.
[GROANS]
Tonight has been rough enough.
Should I order some food?
Hmm. I'm fine.
Have you got a time machine?
'Cause I wanna go back
to being a teenager
lying on a Honolulu beach.
- No job. Right?
- [LAUGHING]
Doobie in hand. Two hours.
- [LAUGHING]
- That would... That would fix me.
I got you.
- Oh, for real?
- Yeah. No.
- ["DON'T LOOK BACK" PLAYING]
- Oh!
- Oh, shit.
- All right. Come on in.
I forgot my phone in the office.
- I'll be right back.
- Baby! You...
All right. I... I'll just...
I'll just lay here by myself.
Seems kinda fitting.
♪ We'll just have to face ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you just put your hand in mine ♪
What you thinking, Bo?
♪ We're gonna leave
all our troubles behind ♪
Hmm!
[SUSAN SHER] Yeah.
I'm sorry, Neil, but...
[CRYING]
No. Yeah...
Give me... Give me some time.
I need a little time.
Can't you do that?
♪ So if you just put your hand in mine ♪
♪ We're gonna leave
all our troubles behind ♪
♪ Keep on walking and don't look back ♪
♪ Forget about the past now ♪
♪ Don't look back, baby ♪
♪ Keep on walking and don't look back ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ The places behind you ♪
♪ Let them remind you ♪
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Welcome back, Betty.
If you all can't look happy,
then go away.
- I can't bear to look at you.
- [ALL CHUCKLE]
Did Wolverines beat Navy?
- - .
- [LAUGHS]
- Shit, they destroyed 'em.
- Yep.
[GERALD] Betty, I cleared my schedule
as much as possible
for the next few weeks
so I can take care of you for once.
Oh, my.
You must have been worried.
I just wanna be with my wife.
[CROWD CHEERING]
There's hundreds of ladies
out there for you, Mom.
[GERALD] They've been
waiting all day for you.
Really?
- Can you raise this?
- [JACK] Mm-hmm.
[BED WHIRRING]
- No. Betty...
- No, I wanna see. Just help me.
[CROWD GASPS, CHEERS]
- I'm fine to walk, Jerry.
- Nonsense.
Let Dad be your attendant, Mom.
- When you put it that way.
- Mrs. Ford!
Mrs. Ford, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling well, thank you.
A little sore, but good.
Are you aware that
appointments for mammograms
have gone up six-fold nationwide?
Is that so?
Well, that is wonderful news.
Does it feel like
you've changed the world?
I don't know that I would say that.
I was just being honest
about what I was going through,
and that's all our family
ever wants to be,
is open and transparent.
[NANCY] Incoming!
What's in the box, Mrs. Ford?
Thousands of well-wishes
from her loyal fans
and a football signed by the
entire roster of the Redskins.
- [GERALD] Whoa. Look at that.
- Wow.
Mrs. Ford, how long
do you plan to convalesce?
When do you anticipate
regaining your strength?
- Whoa, whoa. Mom?
- Mom?
[REPORTERS GASP]
- Go long.
- [GERALD] Yes, dear.
[CHEERS, LAUGHTER]
Strong as ever.
On this vote, the yeas are ,
the nays are .
The bill is passed...
Mel? Turn it off
before those Republicans
start patting themselves on
the back for jumping on board.
[GROANS] Like we didn't deliver
vegetable baskets,
just begging them to have
a conscience for once.
f*cking grandstanding b*stards.
Everyone takes credit
when something passes, but...
you ladies know it couldn't
have happened without you.
- Aw.
- I'm sad this is my last rodeo.
- Oh.
- [MEL] What?
Suz is going back to Chicago
after the new year.
- Did Neil make you quit?
- No, Mel. I made me quit.
As long as I'm in this job,
I just can't turn it off.
It's how my brain works.
I don't blame him for being unhappy.
- I'd be the same way.
- Mmm.
Wha... Damn it.
[MICHELLE CHUCKLES]
- You're gonna hug me.
- Oh, come on.
[MEL] No, no, no! You have to hug. Oh...
- Oh!
- [MEL] No...
You're gonna be fine, Mel.
Well, you know
I'll throw my support
behind you, no matter what.
You'll be a great mayor for Chicago.
- I appreciate it.
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Mr. President, the First Lady's here.
I can tell her you'll be
with her in a few minutes?
- I gotta get going.
- Uh, yeah. We're about done.
Invite her on in.
- What's up?
- [BARACK] Love of my life.
[MICHELLE CHUCKLES]
- [RAHM] Madam First Lady.
- Rahm.
Now, if I knew you all were this
good at charming Republicans,
I would've used your help
these past two years.
- I mean, what the f*ck?
- [MICHELLE] Thank you.
No, really, I am quite impressed
with what you've achieved.
- Thank you.
- Oh, look at that.
He's got his booze out,
something romantic coming.
Awesome. Uh, that's my cue
to get the hell out of Dodge.
See you later, Rahm.
Thanks for coming by.
- [RAHM] Mr. President.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[MICHELLE SIGHS]
He just wanted some advice
on his mayoral campaign in Chicago.
You know, I still feel like
a boy who's been broken up with.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Mmm.
You heard about Susan, right?
Yeah.
- f*ck.
- Yeah.
But you're not gonna
break up with me though.
Well...
Nah.
Are you gonna dump me?
No.
Can we quit and go back to Chicago?
- Apparently not.
- Oh, damn!
- I mean, we're stuck.
- [LAUGHS]
No escape route?
- No.
- Oh, sh**t.
Hello, nice to see you. Welcome.
Excuse me. Read the sign.
Female reporters only.
Our paper doesn't
have a female reporter.
Then I guess it's time to hire one.
- I see.
- Thank you.
[DOORS CLOSE]
[REPORTERS APPLAUDING]
Ooh. Hello.
- [REPORTERS] Hello!
- [LAUGHTER]
Oh, thank you so much
for joining me here today.
Isn't it wonderful to see
so many intelligent
and professional women
all in one place?
As you know, today is our very first
all-female press conference.
And the first of what I hope
is many, many more to come.
I have been given a directive
that the topics we discuss
while we're all here together
must stay on the subject
of women's things.
So, cleaning, baking all come to mind.
But today, with these
trying times before us,
many more women are finding
work outside of the home.
And it becomes that much more difficult
to find time to prepare meals
for our families.
And so, I am passing around
a quick and easy recipe
that will only take minutes,
that costs just a few cents,
and that feeds a family of four.
That way, your readers
will be able to have plenty of time
to educate themselves about
what's happening in our country.
- [REPORTERS] Yes!
- [APPLAUSE]
Now, women's suffrage has been
secured for some time now,
but many women, I'm afraid,
still act as if it's purely ceremonial.
Now, don't get me wrong,
it is prudent to vote
alongside your husbands.
But voting only
on your husband's beliefs
puts your own beliefs
out of the picture.
We have the right to vote,
but we must use it.
The educated woman
is the woman of the future.
Yes!
Well, if you'd like to ask
some questions, I'm open.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Ms. Hickok.
Thank you, Madam First Lady.
What's your recipe
for basic labor regulations
in industries
populated largely by women?
The garment industry?
Ooh, that is a very good question.
Well, I would say,
my very first ingredient...
[LAUGHTER]
...is a senator in North Carolina.
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GUEST ] Uh-uh, uh-uh!
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
Oh, she's hungry! I'm hungry too.
[GUEST CONTINUES SPEAKING FRENCH]
[GUEST ] Let's go to the Russians.
Olga with the eyebrow
is singing tonight.
- Is she? J'adore Olga.
- Petra's it is.
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
[GUEST ] Oh, the fun
is just beginning, ladies.
Viens-tu?
Ooh. Yes.
I was just taking a moment to imagine
what it might be like to live
like this all of the time.
Happy.
Yes.
I've been meaning to ask you.
I have to...
I have to speak next week at Barnard,
and I've never actually...
How do you do it?
Oh, is Hick afraid of public speaking?
She's terrified.
Well, the truth is, I'm terrified too.
- No, I don't believe it.
- No, it's true.
- I don't.
- It is true.
But it gets better.
Sometimes, what one needs to say
is too important
to let fear get in the way.
But the best piece of advice I ever got
was from Louis Howe, who said...
"If you've got something to say,
say it and sit down."
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
"Dear Mrs. Ford,
I am writing to tell you
that because of your bravery
I was able to have the courage
to have a mammogram.
Luckily, I had a good test
and negative results,
but it has inspired me to start
a program to get people involved
and get this important issue
up-front and center.
"Thanks again. Peggy."
[GERALD] "Dear Mrs. Ford,
thank you so much"
for making people aware of breast cancer
and how to detect it.
My mother and I are both scheduled
"to have mammograms next week."
"Dear Mrs. Ford,
I wanted to write you a note
and thank you
for your bravery and honesty
during what I imagine to be
a very difficult and frightening time
"for you and your family."
"I am hoping you are feeling better
and that your family members
and loved ones
are safe and sound.
Thank you for your bravery
and your ability
to face something so difficult
"with such style and grace."
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
Betty?
[SOFTLY] Hey.
You're beautiful.
You hear me?
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
♪ I shot the sheriff ♪
♪ But I didn't sh**t no deputy ♪
♪ Oh, no, oh ♪
♪ I shot the sheriff ♪
♪ But I didn't sh**t no deputy ♪
"Fords bring dancing
back to the White House."
Well, what can I say? I'm a dancer.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Your mother was fantastic.
Your father and I are a very good team.
Now you just have to deal
with Nixon, Dad. No big whoop.
Just sending
a former president to prison.
Mmm, it's definitely a big whoop.
Is he going to go
to one of those prisons
with tennis courts?
I don't know, Susan.
I suppose it's a possibility.
I think we'll all be very relieved
when the whole thing is behind us.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [ASSISTANT] Pardon me.
Mr. President,
Mr. Rumsfeld and Mr. Cheney
would like to speak with you urgently.
- Thank you.
- [ASSISTANT] Thank you, sir.
- [DOG WHINES]
- Come on.
I do not envy your father right now.
You think Pat Nixon knew what
was going on the whole time?
- I don't know, honey.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- I don't...
I don't even know how much
your dad can tell me.
Who knows what President Nixon told Pat?
Daddy is going to punish him, isn't he?
Hmm. No, your father
will do the right thing.
["I SHOT THE SHERIFF" PLAYING]
History will write the true story
of President Nixon.
He has done good,
but he's done irreparable harm
in... in standing up and lying,
bold-facedly,
to the people over and over again.
It's, uh... It's a shattering experience
to find a man in
the highest office doing that.
♪ I, I, I ♪
♪ I shot the sheriff ♪
♪ Lord I didn't shot the deputy ♪
♪ No ♪
[CAMERAMAN] Standing by, Mr. President.
♪ I... I... shot the sheriff ♪
♪ But I didn't sh**t no deputy ♪
[CLEARS THROAT]
[SUSAN] It's quite yellow.
It's very cheerful.
How's it going, Robert?
[ROBERT] It's going well.
Thank you, ma'am.
[SUSAN] Oh, wow. Very floral, Mother.
[SCOFFS] You are such a snob.
- Huh, where do you get that?
- [TV ANCHOR] Mr. Ford was asked
by reporters what he would be
doing for the rest of the day.
He replied, "You will find out shortly."
Three hours later,
in his White House office,
- this is what happened.
- [SUSAN] Mom, Daddy's on TV.
[GERALD] Serious allegations
and accusations
hang like a sword over
our former president's head.
Finally, I feel that
Richard Nixon and his loved ones
have suffered enough
and will continue to suffer,
no matter what I do...
No matter what we,
as a great and good nation
can do together to make
his goal of peace come true.
Now, therefore, I, Gerald R. Ford,
president of the United States
pursuant... [CLEARS THROAT]
...to the pardon power conferred upon me
by Article Two, Section Two
of the Constitution,
have granted,
and by these presents, do grant
a full, free and absolute pardon
unto Richard Nixon
for all offenses
against the United States
committed from January ,
through August , .
[CAMERAMAN]
We're off camera, Mr. President.
Pensive music
There's been some angry reaction
to the Nixon pardon.
[NEWS ANCHOR ] According to
White House statistics,
phone calls are heavy now,
running about - .
But telegrams are six to one
against the president's decision,
to telegrams an hour.
One telegram from Virginia said,
"Roosevelt had his New Deal.
Truman had his Fair Deal.
Now Ford has his crooked deal."
Hi, there.
What time is it?
Why aren't you in bed?
Everything all right?
No, Jerry.
It's not.
Have you noticed
that I never once asked you
about those tapes?
The burglaries, the wiretaps,
who was involved, who wasn't involved.
Anything about Watergate.
I didn't know, Betty.
Of course you didn't,
because if you did,
you wouldn't have been able
to live with yourself.
Do you realize how this makes you look?
How this makes our family look?
[SCOFFS]
Hey, this was not an easy decision.
I didn't go in there
expecting to pardon him.
Then why the f*ck did you do it?
To end the pain this country is in!
I had my first press conference
as president two days ago.
The only thing any reporter,
every last one of them,
wanted to talk about was Nixon!
Nothing about our economic crisis,
nothing about our foreign policy
issues. Just Nixon!
So you let him off!
He accepted the pardon!
That is an admission of guilt!
Without consequences for his actions!
You know that this makes us
look complicit, don't you?
Like we're part of the cover-up!
I know why I did what I did, Betty.
If you don't believe in me,
I can't change that.
- No, you can't.
- [SCOFFS]
I really believed
you were going to bring
some of your goodness to the office.
Dramatic music
- Oh! I... Sorry, ma'am.
- Oh, pardon me.
[MUFFLED CHATTERING]
- [PHONES RINGING]
- [TYPEWRITERS CLACKING]
[CLEARS THROAT]
- Hi.
- [RECEPTIONIST] Can I help you?
I'm here for Gerald Ford.
[RECEPTIONIST] Uh, down that way.
Betty. How are ya?
What are you doing here?
Why haven't you told me?
Do you wanna go outside and talk?
Let's go outside and talk.
- Let's go outside.
- No, no, no. It's...
It's because I'm a divorced woman.
Yeah.
I should've told you. Betty, hey...
- [WHISPERS] Don't you touch me.
- I should've told you.
I'm sorry I made you feel like
you weren't enough, okay?
You are. You're enough,
and I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It won't happen again. I messed up.
[CHATTERING]
No secrets.
I won't. This won't happen again.
♪ This land is your land ♪
♪ This land is my land ♪
♪ From California ♪
♪ To the New York island ♪
♪ From the redwood forest ♪
♪ To the Gulf Stream waters ♪
♪ I tell you ♪
♪ This land ♪
♪ Was made for you and me ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ One bright sunny morning ♪
♪ In the shadow of the steeple ♪
♪ Down by the welfare office ♪
♪ I saw my people ♪
♪ I was wondering ♪
♪ If this land ♪
♪ Was made for you and me ♪
[SIRENS IN DISTANCE]
["SILVER BELLS" PLAYING ON STEREO]
[FRASER] Well, she was up
early this morning
doing all this cooking, and now...
[CRAIG] She said she would
only be a few minutes.
[FRASER] She in the room.
We're sitting here ready to eat.
Come on, now.
Looks good, though.
Marian! We're ready to eat.
[MARIAN] Go ahead. Start without me.
Great, 'cause candied yams don't
taste right when they're cold.
Boy, don't try me on the eve
of our Savior's birth.
Put that spoon down.
I'm on Craig's side
about the candied yams.
Let me see how long Mom's gonna be.
My husband has MS.
He needs his medication.
Well, what's the point of
insurance if you can't help him?
We don't have $ !
Well...
Yeah.
Thanks a lot.
Merry f*cking Christmas.
[MELANCHOLIC MUSIC]
[MEL] Oh, God, I would k*ll
for some sugar right now.
- [SUSAN SHER] Mel.
- [MEL] Proper chocolate.
- Hey, Val.
- Hey, Mich.
How'd it go?
Rahm won't consider any new legislation
remotely connected to health care.
He's obsessed with the Midterms.
Uh-huh. I've been looking
at those polls too, and yikes.
Yeah, I'm worried.
- Me too.
- Barack loves
the Healthy, Hunger-Free
Kids Act, so f*ck Rahm.
- Just go do it. Get it started.
- [GASPS]
I mean, who will not back a bill
about children's health?
Believe it or not,
and I have this on the best authority,
even Republicans have kids.
- No.
- Yes.
I saw one once in the West Wing.
Looked like a very tiny turtle.
- Stop.
- [ALL LAUGHING]
You're so bad. I'm gonna
tell 'em you said that.
Oh, you absolutely... No, you are not!
Don't say nothing till
we pass that act, though.
Don't you tell him what I said.
- [LAUGHING]
- Shut the door.
This is good news, ladies. So...
The Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act.
The goal is to fight childhood
obesity and hunger together.
[NEWS ANCHOR ]
This represents $ . billion
of allocated funding
which will then go to the schools.
[KIDS LAUGHING, CHATTERING]
It's my happy place.
This one? Get some hummus. Okay. Enjoy.
Mrs. Obama,
can we get a picture, please?
[MICHELLE] Of course.
[CAMERA CLICKS]
- Thank you!
- Thank you!
I think we need some more
extras. Do we have any more?
Yeah, we'll just use these. That
should be good enough, right?
- Sylvie, which one do you want?
- This one's fine.
- Okay. Here you go.
- [SYLVIE] Thank you.
Sylvie. Did you want two of those?
Oh, I'm sorry. I can put it back.
The lunch ladies usually
give me an extra lunch.
This one's for my mom.
Okay. You know what?
Take this one too, okay?
Take care of yourself.
- I will.
- Okay?
- Mel! Okay.
- [MEL] Okay.
- Senator Al Franken.
- Oh, Senator Franken.
- [MEL] Yeah.
- Uh-huh.
- [MEL] Senator Amy Klobuchar.
- Amy will like this.
She will love this.
Yeah, you can take that one.
And Senator Lindsey Graham.
Hi.
Give him extra eggplant. Or carrots.
- These?
- [MEL] Love it.
Let's hope there's no ethics law
making veggies bribery.
Hey, are you and Neil doing okay?
Yeah, we're fine.
- Actually, we're not fine.
- Mmm.
The other night,
he told me that he feels like
we're in an open marriage
with my BlackBerry.
Ooh. Susan...
Listen, you know I appreciate
the time you put in,
but if you ever need to...
[SUSAN SHER] Can I take the weekend?
- Ladies, bad guy's here. Wow.
- Oh, God.
- What can I do for you, Rahm?
- [RAHM] Very impressive.
Um... Hi.
We can't have you
sending senators swag bags
- from the White House garden.
- Why not?
Well, A, it makes us look
f*cking ridiculous.
And B, because all of
these brilliant conservatives
somehow were able to convince the public
that Obamacare equals
government overreach
and turning America into a nanny state.
So now is not the time to say,
"Hey, kids, why don't you
swap out those cheeseburgers
and have some kale
and f*cking cucumbers."
Are you saying that Americans
don't care about their kids' health?
Type diabetes, obesity,
people living miles away
from fresh food.
Or do you not care about that?
I don't want my kids eating
that greasy shit either.
But right now,
we need to win the Midterms,
and the Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act
is not helping our poll numbers.
If I were honest, I think
that you have the wrong takeaway
from these Midterm polls.
Oh, really? Wow.
Look, please, I'm begging you. Tell me.
What is your expert political
analysis on this...
You didn't make health care
personal. You didn't own it.
I get that you're passionate about this,
and I understand your connection to it.
I know you don't think so, but I do.
I'm telling you from experience.
I learned the hard way, all right?
Making things personal
can get in the way of smart politics.
Well, maybe sometimes you have to say,
"Forget about smart politics,
do what's right and trust the rest."
That sounds amazing.
But it's not realistic.
You know what though? It's your realm.
Do whatever you want. I'm just
letting you know my opinion
because I know you're dying to hear it.
I think you're making a mistake.
That's all.
Sorry, please go back
to your vegetation.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[GENTLE MUSIC]
[MALVINA] Front page.
Ooh! Oh, good.
Definitely not a puff piece.
Hmm. Thank you, Samuel.
Thank you.
[COUGHING]
Morning, Louis.
- [LOUIS] Morning.
- Louis.
Tommy.
That's some article.
Oh, I haven't read it.
Everyone else has.
- Oh?
- [LOUIS] Usually,
one consults with the president
before giving direct quotes to reporters
announcing cuts to White House spending.
Oh, nothing stopped him from saying it.
[LOUIS] Yeah. Actually, many things did.
Uh, let's see. Tact, um, strategy,
timing, a desire
for a positive outcome...
I believe that an administration
demonstrating fiscal austerity
during a depression
can most certainly lead
to a positive outcome.
Right. Um, Eleanor, there is
a way that things are done here.
[ELEANOR] You know,
a great political adviser
once told me to stop laughing
when I spoke of serious things.
That adviser,
the same adviser who became one
of my most trusted friends,
also told me that I should
lower the pitch of my voice
so that men would not dismiss me
as a frivolous woman.
Now everyone, including that friend,
is telling me to be quiet.
This is the highest office in the land.
You have a wide audience to win over.
Being contrary doesn't translate
into widespread appeal.
I see. People prefer pleasant.
The president's advisers
think his g*dd*mn wife
should stay in the background!
Hick's article is positive,
yes, but the others...
Well...
they seem to have asked
their cartoonist to be as...
cruel as possible.
Louis.
Not everyone likes you as much as we do.
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[LORENA] I know ten female reporters
who've been let go
now that the election's over.
- No.
- Yes. Yes.
Is your job secure?
Yeah.
Thanks to our collaboration,
the AP offered me
White House Correspondent,
exclusively covering you.
No.
What, a whole job
just dedicated to one person?
That seems a bit excessive.
- Doesn't it?
- No. That's nonsense.
You already helped appoint
the first female cabinet member.
I know you gave the president
a long list of women.
I did, but Frances Perkins wasn't on it.
[CHUCKLES] Well, still,
it's an historic appointment.
You put the issue front and center.
I suppose.
I can't wait to see what's next.
Well, I'm afraid
you'll be sorely disappointed.
I'm a bit unseasoned for politics.
And clearly too ugly for First Lady.
This guy...
This guy is an ignorant, talentless hack
who isn't fit to shine your shoes.
If you can't see
how beautiful you are...
You have an audience,
your radio show, your columns,
and the most powerful man
in the country. Use it.
[STATIC ON RADIO]
"One's philosophy
is not best expressed in words.
It is expressed
in the choices one makes.
And the choices we make
are ultimately our responsibility.
Do what you feel
in your heart to be right,
for you'll be criticized anyway.
No matter how plain a woman may be,
if truth and honesty
are written across her face,
"she will be beautiful."
A female-only press conference?
Yes. Led by Mrs. Roosevelt.
Well, Franklin is so busy now,
and it will allow me to share
in the very important and good work
this administration is doing.
Yes, and it would promote
the employment of women.
As press secretary, all events
in this house go through me.
And this idea reveals
is a misunderstanding,
a clear, basic misunderstanding
of your role in this house.
The role of First Lady
has never officially
been defined or codified.
But the expectations have,
by time and practice.
- I cannot allow this.
- [ELEANOR] "Allow"?
Mr. Early,
this conversation is a courtesy.
Steve, this is clearly
a good idea, all right?
It enables communication
between the White House
and American women...
A voter base, by the way.
A base that will grow and grow.
A growing voter base
that we will very much need
by our side in
the next election, clearly.
I can't approve this agenda.
It's too political.
What is there other than politics?
[EARLY] Women's issues.
Cooking and cleaning and sewing...
You would like me
to hold a press conference
to discuss dusting?
Or baking.
Vacuuming?
Knitting.
Yes, these are all great.
These are all great.
- [MALVINA SCOFFS]
- Goodbye, Mr. Early. Thank you.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
Remind me never to ask him again.
Were you aware that Joe Namath
has a gentle, sensitive side?
- Look how gentle he looks.
- [NANCY] So gentle.
- Very gentle.
- [BETTY LAUGHS]
It's just nice to read about
something other than Watergate.
Oh, speaking of, your new
press secretary starts tomorrow.
We need to get a meeting in the books.
- [KNOCKING]
- Hello, Mrs. Howe.
Oh, Madam First Lady.
Oh, good afternoon.
She's my moral support.
I see. Ready for your mammogram?
Ready as I'll ever be!
I'll be in the waiting room with Joe.
Wait, Betty... You've never had
a mammogram, have you?
No.
Can you make room
for the First Lady, Doctor?
- Nancy.
- Well, everyone's supposed
to have a mammogram.
Right, Dr. Goldberg?
We suggest women over
be screened every year, yes.
See? And they don't tell us this stuff.
Another way that women
are kept in the dark.
We'd be happy to fit you in
if you'd like.
Then I don't have to suffer alone.
It's not that bad.
A little uncomfortable at most.
Basically like laying down
on a cold garage floor
and pulling out your breast
and having someone
- run over it with a car.
- Nice.
I'm kidding. Kind of.
It's just a little pressure.
Be over before you know it.
You're doing it.
Mammogram for two, please.
Nurse will bring in your robes.
I'm really not sure
if I wanna do this, Nancy.
It's a little uncomfortable,
but it'll be quick and easy.
And you're my friend and I want
you here as long as possible.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- For me.
- Okay.
[DOOR OPENS]
- Mrs. Ford.
- [BETTY] Thank you.
- Of course.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- That's efficient.
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[DOOR OPENS]
Mrs. Ford. Thank you
for giving us a bit more time.
This is Dr. Fouty, Chief of Surgery.
He'd like to examine you a bit further,
- if that's all right with you.
- Oh, of course.
Just lie back on the table, Mrs. Ford.
- Promise I will make this quick.
- [BETTY] Mmm.
[DR. FOUTY] Just right here.
- Is there a problem?
- Just extra precaution.
We're double checking.
Okay.
- Any pain here?
- Mm-mmm.
[DR. FOUTY] Mm-hmm.
Very good. Okay.
You can get dressed.
Mmm. Thank you.
- That's it?
- That's it.
I will contact you
if we need to see you again.
Thank you.
[DR. GOLDBERG] Thank you, Mrs. Ford.
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
- Susan.
- Mom.
What is it? Oh.
- [GERALD] Dr. Lushkin.
- Dr. Lushkin.
I... I'm terribly sorry.
Um, uh, Susan came in
- and... and we were discussing...
- I needed something for my cold
and so I went to see Dr. Lushkin,
and he asked where you were,
that he needed to talk
to you about something
and I made him tell me why.
Uh, Betty. Your, um, mammogram
and examination today
revealed a tumor.
Hmm.
Tumors can be removed, right?
[DR. LUSHKIN] Uh, Dr. Fouty
would like to do a biopsy
as quickly as possible.
To see if the tumor is... cancerous.
Correct. Depending on size and spread,
we may recommend undergoing
a mastectomy, ma'am.
I see.
What exactly is that?
It's a partial, and sometimes
full, removal of the breast.
I'd like to schedule something
for tomorrow.
Oh, no. I can't.
- Tomorrow I have a full day.
- Mom, are you kidding?
Is it safe for her to wait hours?
Well, no longer than that.
That's what we'll do then.
- Thank you, Dr. Lushkin.
- Thank you, Doctor.
"Yesterday, I accompanied a friend
to the doctor.
Um, she was getting a mammogram.
For support, I got one too.
Unfortunately, the results of mine
"showed some... abnormalities."
May I suggest something
more along the lines of,
"I went in for a routine procedure.
- "Everything came back clean."
- That doesn't make any sense.
[BETTY] But if they do find cancer,
saying something came back clean
when it didn't is lying.
I'm an expert at finessing.
"My doctor believes
there is a strong chance
I have breast cancer.
Tomorrow I undergo a biopsy.
The results will determine
whether they continue
with a full mastectomy.
I say this not to cause alarm,
but because this administration
always strives for transparency.
And I encourage American women
"to take their health
into their own hands."
Thank you.
A-plus, Petunia.
It's my nickname for her.
I'm sorry. Remind me your role again.
Bodyguard. Black belt.
Don't worry, your death
will be quick and painless.
You won't even know it happened.
She's my special assistant.
- Is there a problem?
- Of course not, ma'am.
But this is a such a personal matter.
I would caution against talking
to the press like this.
That's right, it is personal... to me.
Which means I get to decide
- how to deal with it.
- But...
Send the release out wide, Shirley.
- Yes, ma'am.
- [BETTY] Thank you.
["ROCK THE BOAT" PLAYING]
So I'd like to know where
you got the notion...
She's so mad
you wouldn't let her finesse.
And she thinks you might k*ll her.
[SCOFFS] Well, I might if she
doesn't loosen up a little bit.
Geez Louise.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
♪ To rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't tip the boat over ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't rock the boat, baby ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
♪ Don't tip the boat over ♪
♪ Rock the boat ♪
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Hello, darling.
Come in. Keep me company.
[SIGHS] What do you think?
I'm having a hard time choosing.
Are you really worried
about your wardrobe right now?
Well, nothing wrong
with looking good in a crisis.
[CHUCKLES]
Which one?
The blue one, I guess.
Good choice. Brings out my eyes.
- Mom.
- I know. I know.
- [SNIFFLES]
- It's okay.
I'm scared too.
But we're going to get through this.
- I'm not going anywhere.
- Okay.
We've dealt with a lot of crap before
and we'll deal with this.
But it's okay to be scared, honey.
[WHISPERS] Yeah.
[SIGHS] Really? You think the blue?
[LAUGHING] I guess.
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[KATIE COURIC] And finally tonight,
to put the political powershift
in Washington in perspective,
our experts tell us House Democrats
lost more than half the landmass
they once held
as district after district
went from blue to red.
A remarkable turnaround
in two short years.
Tonight was ten shades of terrible.
[GROANS] Hate to say I called it, but...
Those boys in the West Wing,
they let the GOP spin health care
into socialism and death panels,
instead of connecting
to everyday people,
just like we advised them to do
over and over and over again.
So I'll say it. You called it.
He's gonna be crushed.
Just when you think
you've covered some ground.
Well, hey! Hey, now. What happened
to the "success is inside you,
just dig deep" Michelle?
Because this sucks.
- Well...
- But we'll figure out a way.
The things we pulled off at U of C.
Hmm. We did some things.
We kicked some ass,
is what we did. Michelle.
[TV CHATTERING CONTINUES]
You go up there and console
your wounded husband.
I'll poke around
and see what senators I can find
to sponsor this bill of ours, hmm?
You don't have to do that, Susan.
Don't sweat it.
And if Mel and I have to go down there
and kick down some doors
ourselves, by God, we'll do it.
- Right, Mel?
- What? Of course.
- Let's do it. What are we doing?
- Mel.
- Mel, you need to go to bed.
- I know.
Go to bed. Go to bed, Mel.
- I love you all.
- We know.
- Yeah.
- Good night.
- Good night.
- Good night.
Mel.
[KATIE COURIC] The GOP sent word
they would not vote with the Democrats.
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[DOOR OPENS]
At least the Bulls are doing well.
Derrick Rose is having
the season of his career.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I'm getting dunked on
by conservative extremists.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Well, I should have let you
and your team
help us sell health care.
Yep.
Well, you know, it's not all your fault.
[GROANS]
Tonight has been rough enough.
Should I order some food?
Hmm. I'm fine.
Have you got a time machine?
'Cause I wanna go back
to being a teenager
lying on a Honolulu beach.
- No job. Right?
- [LAUGHING]
Doobie in hand. Two hours.
- [LAUGHING]
- That would... That would fix me.
I got you.
- Oh, for real?
- Yeah. No.
- ["DON'T LOOK BACK" PLAYING]
- Oh!
- Oh, shit.
- All right. Come on in.
I forgot my phone in the office.
- I'll be right back.
- Baby! You...
All right. I... I'll just...
I'll just lay here by myself.
Seems kinda fitting.
♪ We'll just have to face ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ If you just put your hand in mine ♪
What you thinking, Bo?
♪ We're gonna leave
all our troubles behind ♪
Hmm!
[SUSAN SHER] Yeah.
I'm sorry, Neil, but...
[CRYING]
No. Yeah...
Give me... Give me some time.
I need a little time.
Can't you do that?
♪ So if you just put your hand in mine ♪
♪ We're gonna leave
all our troubles behind ♪
♪ Keep on walking and don't look back ♪
♪ Forget about the past now ♪
♪ Don't look back, baby ♪
♪ Keep on walking and don't look back ♪
♪ Don't look back ♪
♪ The places behind you ♪
♪ Let them remind you ♪
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
Welcome back, Betty.
If you all can't look happy,
then go away.
- I can't bear to look at you.
- [ALL CHUCKLE]
Did Wolverines beat Navy?
- - .
- [LAUGHS]
- Shit, they destroyed 'em.
- Yep.
[GERALD] Betty, I cleared my schedule
as much as possible
for the next few weeks
so I can take care of you for once.
Oh, my.
You must have been worried.
I just wanna be with my wife.
[CROWD CHEERING]
There's hundreds of ladies
out there for you, Mom.
[GERALD] They've been
waiting all day for you.
Really?
- Can you raise this?
- [JACK] Mm-hmm.
[BED WHIRRING]
- No. Betty...
- No, I wanna see. Just help me.
[CROWD GASPS, CHEERS]
- I'm fine to walk, Jerry.
- Nonsense.
Let Dad be your attendant, Mom.
- When you put it that way.
- Mrs. Ford!
Mrs. Ford, how are you feeling?
I'm feeling well, thank you.
A little sore, but good.
Are you aware that
appointments for mammograms
have gone up six-fold nationwide?
Is that so?
Well, that is wonderful news.
Does it feel like
you've changed the world?
I don't know that I would say that.
I was just being honest
about what I was going through,
and that's all our family
ever wants to be,
is open and transparent.
[NANCY] Incoming!
What's in the box, Mrs. Ford?
Thousands of well-wishes
from her loyal fans
and a football signed by the
entire roster of the Redskins.
- [GERALD] Whoa. Look at that.
- Wow.
Mrs. Ford, how long
do you plan to convalesce?
When do you anticipate
regaining your strength?
- Whoa, whoa. Mom?
- Mom?
[REPORTERS GASP]
- Go long.
- [GERALD] Yes, dear.
[CHEERS, LAUGHTER]
Strong as ever.
On this vote, the yeas are ,
the nays are .
The bill is passed...
Mel? Turn it off
before those Republicans
start patting themselves on
the back for jumping on board.
[GROANS] Like we didn't deliver
vegetable baskets,
just begging them to have
a conscience for once.
f*cking grandstanding b*stards.
Everyone takes credit
when something passes, but...
you ladies know it couldn't
have happened without you.
- Aw.
- I'm sad this is my last rodeo.
- Oh.
- [MEL] What?
Suz is going back to Chicago
after the new year.
- Did Neil make you quit?
- No, Mel. I made me quit.
As long as I'm in this job,
I just can't turn it off.
It's how my brain works.
I don't blame him for being unhappy.
- I'd be the same way.
- Mmm.
Wha... Damn it.
[MICHELLE CHUCKLES]
- You're gonna hug me.
- Oh, come on.
[MEL] No, no, no! You have to hug. Oh...
- Oh!
- [MEL] No...
You're gonna be fine, Mel.
Well, you know
I'll throw my support
behind you, no matter what.
You'll be a great mayor for Chicago.
- I appreciate it.
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Mr. President, the First Lady's here.
I can tell her you'll be
with her in a few minutes?
- I gotta get going.
- Uh, yeah. We're about done.
Invite her on in.
- What's up?
- [BARACK] Love of my life.
[MICHELLE CHUCKLES]
- [RAHM] Madam First Lady.
- Rahm.
Now, if I knew you all were this
good at charming Republicans,
I would've used your help
these past two years.
- I mean, what the f*ck?
- [MICHELLE] Thank you.
No, really, I am quite impressed
with what you've achieved.
- Thank you.
- Oh, look at that.
He's got his booze out,
something romantic coming.
Awesome. Uh, that's my cue
to get the hell out of Dodge.
See you later, Rahm.
Thanks for coming by.
- [RAHM] Mr. President.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
[MICHELLE SIGHS]
He just wanted some advice
on his mayoral campaign in Chicago.
You know, I still feel like
a boy who's been broken up with.
[BOTH LAUGH]
Mmm.
You heard about Susan, right?
Yeah.
- f*ck.
- Yeah.
But you're not gonna
break up with me though.
Well...
Nah.
Are you gonna dump me?
No.
Can we quit and go back to Chicago?
- Apparently not.
- Oh, damn!
- I mean, we're stuck.
- [LAUGHS]
No escape route?
- No.
- Oh, sh**t.
Hello, nice to see you. Welcome.
Excuse me. Read the sign.
Female reporters only.
Our paper doesn't
have a female reporter.
Then I guess it's time to hire one.
- I see.
- Thank you.
[DOORS CLOSE]
[REPORTERS APPLAUDING]
Ooh. Hello.
- [REPORTERS] Hello!
- [LAUGHTER]
Oh, thank you so much
for joining me here today.
Isn't it wonderful to see
so many intelligent
and professional women
all in one place?
As you know, today is our very first
all-female press conference.
And the first of what I hope
is many, many more to come.
I have been given a directive
that the topics we discuss
while we're all here together
must stay on the subject
of women's things.
So, cleaning, baking all come to mind.
But today, with these
trying times before us,
many more women are finding
work outside of the home.
And it becomes that much more difficult
to find time to prepare meals
for our families.
And so, I am passing around
a quick and easy recipe
that will only take minutes,
that costs just a few cents,
and that feeds a family of four.
That way, your readers
will be able to have plenty of time
to educate themselves about
what's happening in our country.
- [REPORTERS] Yes!
- [APPLAUSE]
Now, women's suffrage has been
secured for some time now,
but many women, I'm afraid,
still act as if it's purely ceremonial.
Now, don't get me wrong,
it is prudent to vote
alongside your husbands.
But voting only
on your husband's beliefs
puts your own beliefs
out of the picture.
We have the right to vote,
but we must use it.
The educated woman
is the woman of the future.
Yes!
Well, if you'd like to ask
some questions, I'm open.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Ms. Hickok.
Thank you, Madam First Lady.
What's your recipe
for basic labor regulations
in industries
populated largely by women?
The garment industry?
Ooh, that is a very good question.
Well, I would say,
my very first ingredient...
[LAUGHTER]
...is a senator in North Carolina.
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- [GUEST ] Uh-uh, uh-uh!
[SPEAKING FRENCH]
Oh, she's hungry! I'm hungry too.
[GUEST CONTINUES SPEAKING FRENCH]
[GUEST ] Let's go to the Russians.
Olga with the eyebrow
is singing tonight.
- Is she? J'adore Olga.
- Petra's it is.
[GUESTS CHATTERING]
[GUEST ] Oh, the fun
is just beginning, ladies.
Viens-tu?
Ooh. Yes.
I was just taking a moment to imagine
what it might be like to live
like this all of the time.
Happy.
Yes.
I've been meaning to ask you.
I have to...
I have to speak next week at Barnard,
and I've never actually...
How do you do it?
Oh, is Hick afraid of public speaking?
She's terrified.
Well, the truth is, I'm terrified too.
- No, I don't believe it.
- No, it's true.
- I don't.
- It is true.
But it gets better.
Sometimes, what one needs to say
is too important
to let fear get in the way.
But the best piece of advice I ever got
was from Louis Howe, who said...
"If you've got something to say,
say it and sit down."
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
"Dear Mrs. Ford,
I am writing to tell you
that because of your bravery
I was able to have the courage
to have a mammogram.
Luckily, I had a good test
and negative results,
but it has inspired me to start
a program to get people involved
and get this important issue
up-front and center.
"Thanks again. Peggy."
[GERALD] "Dear Mrs. Ford,
thank you so much"
for making people aware of breast cancer
and how to detect it.
My mother and I are both scheduled
"to have mammograms next week."
"Dear Mrs. Ford,
I wanted to write you a note
and thank you
for your bravery and honesty
during what I imagine to be
a very difficult and frightening time
"for you and your family."
"I am hoping you are feeling better
and that your family members
and loved ones
are safe and sound.
Thank you for your bravery
and your ability
to face something so difficult
"with such style and grace."
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
[MUSIC INTENSIFIES]
Betty?
[SOFTLY] Hey.
You're beautiful.
You hear me?
[PENSIVE MUSIC]