09x05 - Uneasy Lies the Crown
Posted: 05/07/22 15:31
- Tonight on Columbo...
- (Man) What? Another guy?
- I've been lonely a very long time.
- Lydia, I don't wanna know his name.
- (Man) The man died of a heart attack.
- Sir, Mr Evans was m*rder*d.
Lt Columbo, police.
- You got a tip?
- I got a tip.
This is my lucky day.
What the hell is he doing now?
Sir, I assume you know what your wife
and Mr Evans were doing before he died?
Yes, Lieutenant, I do.
- David and I moved the body.
- Yes, we did it to protect Lydia.
- You think I poisoned Adam, don't you?
- It does look that way.
- Morning.
- Morning, Doctor.
(Dentist's drill in background)
- Good morning, Frances.
- He wants to see you. Now.
- Oh, he's upset, right?
- Right.
- (Knock at door)
- Come in.
- Hi, Dad.
- Don't "Hi, Dad" me, young man.
Sir, I know I'm late.
I'm sorry. Couldn't be helped.
I ran into Bo Youngstreet.
I told you about him...
owns a couple of dozen oil wells
outside Tulsa.
- Sit down.
- He's put together a development deal.
Brand-new syndicate.
It's got very good possibilities.
Wesley, let me ask you something.
What do you do for a living?
Sir?
Oh, I know what it says on our office door:
Wesley Corman, DDS.
But I see you so seldom I thought perhaps
you'd taken up some other profession.
- I know. I'm sorry.
- Which may not be a bad idea.
Because as a dentist
you're a total incompetent.
For five years you've been my son-in-law
as well as my junior associate,
and in both of those areas
you've been a crashing failure.
I only put up with you
because my daughter,
misguided though she was,
loved you.
Well, now, happily,
that condition has just about ended.
- What are you talking about?
- Don't look so surprised.
I put Lydia in touch
with an excellent divorce attorney.
In a matter of weeks
your relationship will be terminated.
Now hold on. We have our problems,
like every married couple,
but if divorce was mentioned
I know she wasn't serious.
Serious? She's damned serious,
and so am I.
Wesley, you are a compulsive gambler.
But I have paid your last gambling debt,
bailed you out of your last tight spot.
Let me show you something.
I have here $ , of your IOUs to me.
Now hold on. All I've done
is try to develop outside interests
so Lydia and I aren't so dependent on you.
Dependent on me? (chuckles)
"One racehorse: $ , ."
Died of heart failure second time
out of the gate and he was uninsured.
That big land-development deal down
in Ensenada: $ , down the drain.
And I have a whole list of gambling debts
that I paid for you,
from Las Vegas to Atlantic City.
Well, I intend to collect.
Sir...
I think you realise that...
that I won't be able to make it
if you hold me to those notes.
Wesley, you're amazing.
You knew this was coming about
for some time now,
and yet you couldn't face it,
could you?
Well...
no more, my friend. No more.
Wait a minute. Aren't you forgetting?
Six years ago I saved your daughter's life.
This time that's not gonna work.
I give you till the end of this month
to take your practice, such as it is,
and get out of here.
Do you understand me?
(Dials number)
- Hello?
- Hi, Adam. Wesley.
- How you doing?
- Good. How are you?
- I'm in good shape.
- Great. Listen, I need a favour.
- How much do you need?
- No, I don't need to borrow more money.
As a matter of fact,
I expect to pay you back next week.
The reason I'm calling is to ask you
to change your two o'clock to : .
- Can you do that?
- Yes, no problem.
- Terrific.
- You got it, buddy.
- Great. Yeah, : sharp.
- I'll be there.
I'll see you there.
Adam, thanks. You saved my life.
No big deal.
(someone dives into pool)
- (phone buzzes)
- Yes, Doctor?
Did I mention that Adam Evans
called me at home last night
to cancel his two o'clock?
- No, you didn't.
- Oh, I'm sorry. He did.
As consolation, you girls
can take an early lunch.
- Well, thank you, sir.
- Have a good time.
You too.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Look, I'm only gonna be a few minutes,
so park it up front, would you?
- Sure. Thank you, sir.
- Thanks a lot.
- Adam Evans!
- Adam Evans! Oh, my God!
- (Excited gushing)
- Ladies. Sure, I'll be glad to.
This is so exciting!
You're so handsome in person!
Oh, thank you!
There you go.
Have a good day, ladies.
- Hey, Wes.
- Hey, buddy. Right on time. Come on in.
You can hang your jacket
on the back of the door.
- I really appreciate your coming in early.
- No problem, Wes.
- Where are my girls?
- All out sick. Can you believe that?
- Is that a fact?
- We had to cancel all our appointments.
Would've cancelled yours
if you weren't going to Cannes.
I'm glad you didn't.
So, you starting a new film
or going on vacation or what?
- No, I'm going to the film festival.
- Is that right? Sounds like a good time.
- Yeah, we're gonna have a good time.
- I'll try not to make you late for the plane.
All right, seƱor, lower-left bicuspid
you got a lot of decay around the filling,
but what needs immediate attention
is the crown on the right side.
- OK. You're the doc.
- All right, let's put some light on you.
And... we'll numb you up here.
Chew down. That's it.
All right. You don't mind needles, do you?
- Oh, no.
- Of course not.
- Agh...
- There she goes...
- Heard any good jokes lately?
- (Chuckles)
Easy, easy... Almost there...
- That's not too bad.
- No. Wake me when you're done.
Let's have a look.
- You feel that?
- Uh-uh.
Good. Yeah, she's loose.
Pull her right out of there.
There you go.
- That didn't hurt, did it?
- Uh-uh. No.
Now, don't you go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
(Turns drill on)
- All rightie...
- You did it?
Yup.
Now we... slap a little concrete on here...
And...
pop her in.
OK.
Bite down on that.
And, er...
that's better than the original.
Stay away from hot liquids
till the Novocaine wears off...
you don't want to burn yourself.
When you get back from Cannes
let's have dinner.
Lydia'd love to hear all about the trip.
You met Lydia, didn't you?
At the Bergman party?
- Yeah, I think I did.
- Gosh, she's a big fan of yours.
She's like a schoolgirl - she's making
sense of all the pictures... A big fan.
- Nice to know I have at least one.
- Yeah, right.
- Thanks again, Wes.
- Sure. Take care.
Hi. Do you like what you see? I do.
- I didn't hear your car.
- At those prices, you're not supposed to.
- Did you hear from your father?
- He called.
- So you heard the good news.
- Wesley, don't.
Lydia, sometimes you get the gold mine,
sometimes you don't.
- We agreed it would be the best thing.
- No, I never did.
I couldn't, Lydia. You know
how much I've always loved you.
No, I don't know that.
- Maybe if you had shown...
- I tried, Lydia. I really did, in my own way.
If it wasn't enough, then so be it.
You know, after what happened to your
first husband, when you needed help,
I suppose I knew I was just a crutch
to lean on, but now that you're cured...
I guess I was a guy who happened
to be there. I just wasn't the right guy.
Wesley...
I've been lonely for a very long time.
- And you'll find out sooner or later, so...
- What? Another guy?
Yes.
- He is...
- Lydia, I don't wanna know his name.
- I think you're grown up enough.
- No.
No, after the divorce is final, fine,
but don't cut me into little pieces now.
All right.
Lydia...
I know you've had a rough time
these past two years.
I don't wanna make it
any more difficult for you.
I just want you to know that if anything
happens, if you change your mind,
if this guy, whoever he is,
isn't what you want him to be,
then I'll be there for you.
I always will.
Thank you.
Lydia... I just want you
to know I love you.
(Sighs)
The game's at John Valentine's tonight.
I'll be there if you need me.
Don't forget to take your medicine.
I won't.
- (Man) Hello?
- Hi.
- Are you alone?
- He just left.
- Will he be back soon?
- No, no, he won't be back until late.
Which will give me plenty of time
to convince you to take me with you.
(Lydia) I'll be waiting.
Well, friends, I got nothing
but a little old flush.
- I think a full house beats a flush.
- (All) Aw!
- Do you believe that?
- Well, it's my house.
It's only nine o'clock,
I'm already getting k*lled.
The evening is young, darling.
Hang in there.
- Deal the cards, Bunkie.
- Ante up.
(Chamber music)
He said he didn't wanna know
anything about us.
Sure he doesn't
know about us already?
You don't know Wesley. If Wesley
can't bet on it, he's not interested.
That's too bad. I'd prefer it
if everything was out in the open.
I would, too.
It will be soon, thank God.
Thank God!
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Is it up to par?
Mm...
Delicious. You make the best
damn margarita I ever had.
- Be kind to me, girl, be kind to me.
- I'll do my best.
- OK, aces bet.
- I'm in for .
(As John Wayne) Sorry, pilgrim,
I gotta see that and raise .
- Ah, fold.
- And the host is in.
- I'm in.
- Call.
I'll call and... raise it .
- On what? You got zip.
- Who asked you?
Well, excuse me for living.
- I call.
- (Man) Uh-oh!
- Take me to Cannes with you.
- Uh-uh.
Cause talk - nasty talk,
you still being married.
Besides, it's only for five days.
- Five very, very long, long...
- Oh...
But when I get back, you and Wesley
will have done what you have to do,
and you and I
will have the rest of our lives.
- I'm in for .
- I call.
(As Woody Allen) I can't believe it.
Anybody who'd play a hand like this
has to be a total masochist.
Jeez, I can't believe it. I call. Jeez...
I don't think so.
Yeah, call.
I think I'll raise... to .
Ooh!
- How do you like them apples?
- # Dnn-da-dn-dn!
(Adam gasps)
Adam? Adam?
(Groans)
Adam?
Adam?! Adam? Adam, don't die!
Adam! Don't die! You can't die! You can't!
Too rich for me. I fold.
My fellow Americans, I thought this was
supposed to be a kinder, gentler game.
Call.
Adam! Don't die! Adam!
- Too expensive.
- Well, it's just you and me, Nancy.
Adam!
Oh, I forgot.
You were in too, weren't you, Wesley?
You are still in, aren't you?
Because I have no recollection.
- (Phone rings)
- Excuse me.
Yeah, yeah, I'm in.
- Yeah?
- Help! It's an emergency!
- It's a heart attack! The address is ...
- Stop yelling. I can't understand you.
Quick. Please hurry! It's a heart attack!
Please help me!
- OK, OK, who is this?
- Lydia Corman.
- Lydia. Just a minute. Here's Wesley.
- Come quick! Help!
- Lydia, what's happened?
- Hurry! Please hurry!
Adam? Adam!
(Sobs)
Oh, God...
Lydia?
David, let's go. Sorry, guys.
Pool house!
- Oh, my God.
- Lydia? Lydia!
Oh, my God. What happened?
(Lydia mumbles hysterically)
It's all right. It's all right.
He's dead.
Sis, did you call ?
- Did you call the police?
- He's dead... Just like Tony...
- What are you doing?
- Calling .
- Don't be a fool.
- The man is dead!
I'm thinking of your sister.
You can't put her through that again.
- What choice do we have?
- He died just like Tony.
We gotta move the body.
Get her upstairs. I'll get him dressed.
(Lydia whimpers)
(turns engine on)
All clear?
OK.
- Hold that straight.
- (Police radio)
(horn blasts)
- What are you doing with that thing?
- Trying to figure out how to work it.
- Those things are for cops, you know.
- Yeah. Well, I'm a cop.
Oh, you're a cop.
I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Hi.
- Says he's a cop.
- He's a cop.
Yeah, I've been on the force years.
- Been on the force for years.
- years, huh?
Believe it or not, I never had a chance
to work this thing before.
What the hell is he doing now?
- What's the problem?
- No problem, Officer. I'm with the force.
- Lieutenant Columbo.
- I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
That bubble -
where do you connect those things?
- You plug that in your cigarette lighter.
- Oh, the cigarette lighter.
Cigarette lighter doesn't work.
- Come on, I'll give you an escort.
- Oh, thanks.
You know, believe it or not,
years on the force,
I never had to use
one of those things before.
Oh.
- Move it over.
- Secure that rope down there.
- One parking stub.
- Oh. Right. Thanks.
Check where it's from,
the day it was issued and the time.
You got it, Lieutenant.
- Want some coffee, Lieutenant?
- No, I just had some. Got a match?
- No. I don't smoke.
- So what's the story here?
The ambulance boys
think it was a coronary.
- You know who this guy is?
- No. Who is he?
Could we have it a minute, guys? Please?
Thank you.
Take a look at this.
- Adam Evans.
- Yeah. You've seen him in movies, right?
Yeah. You know, just Saturday night
my wife ran... we ran a picture of his.
- Did you?
- Yeah. It was good, too.
He was in this helicopter...
What a shame.
Yeah. Scary, isn't it?
One minute you're on top of the heap,
girls love you, lots of bucks,
next minute you're snuffed out,
cancelled by the Grim Reaper.
Very well put, Sergeant.
Listen, have the medical examiner find out
what this little white speck is on his lip.
Got you.
OK, guys, you can have him.
OK, let's go. Clear the way.
- Excuse me. You got a match?
- Oh, sure, Lieutenant.
Compliments of Adam Evans.
Found them in his shirt pocket.
Listen, when you fellas moved the body,
did you touch anything?
- I mean like the gear shift?
- No, we didn't touch a thing.
No? Thank you very much.
Sure.
(Doorbell)
- Can I help you?
- Good morning, sir.
I'm sorry to disturb you so early.
Lt Columbo, police.
- Yeah?
- Sir, it's freezing out here.
Could I come in?
This coat has no lining.
- Yeah, sure, come on in.
- Thank you very much.
I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings,
but it seems there's been an accident...
a friend of yours, I think.
Adam Evans, the actor?
Yeah?
Well, they found him this morning
up at Mulholland Head.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
A car accident?
They think it was a heart attack, sir.
Heart attack?
I can't believe that.
If you have a moment, sir,
could I ask you a few questions?
Yeah, sure. Come on in.
- Like a cup of coffee, Lieutenant?
- Oh, I sure could use one, sir.
- How about a bagel?
- Oh, I don't wanna put you out.
No trouble. No trouble at all.
- How do you take it?
- A touch of cream.
Cream's in the fridge. Help yourself.
Mr Evans - was he a good friend of yours?
Well, he was a friend. He was a patient.
Oh, then he did have trouble
with his heart?
I don't know.
I was his dentist, not his doctor.
Oh, his dentist. (chuckles)
Sounds like I should apologise
for something.
Well, dentists,
they gotta live too, I suppose.
- How was he feeling last night?
- What's that?
I said how was he feeling last night, sir?
When he was here.
Any problems, chest pains,
anything like that?
What makes you think
he was here last night?
Oh, it's very simple, sir. We found
these matches in his shirt pocket.
Oh. Well, he could've
picked those up any time.
Oh, then he was a friend? I mean,
he's been here as a guest in the house?
Yeah. I wouldn't say
he was a close friend.
Well, we met him at a party some time
ago and Lydia, she's a big fan of his.
But he wasn't here last night?
Not that I know of, Lieutenant.
But then again, I wasn't here.
Last night was my poker night.
I left here about eight.
Didn't get back until... I don't remember
what time, but I didn't see Adam.
Very good.
- What's that?
- These bagels are very good.
Thank you. Would you like another?
Oh, may I, sir?
I didn't have any breakfast.
Sure. Help yourself. Go ahead.
Lieutenant, you always chew
on one side of your mouth?
Oh, no, sir.
It's just when you told me what you did
it reminded me I have
this sensitive tooth on the left side.
Could be a cavity.
I don't know. I just ignore it.
- That's not very smart of you, Lieutenant.
- Well, I can't stand drilling.
I mean, it's not the drilling so much.
I can't stand the sound.
Just thinking about it makes me very ill.
You ought to come see me.
I use an ultrasonic drill - thing purrs
like a kitten. You won't feel a thing.
Well, you know, that's just what I need.
One of those.
Lieutenant, I'd prefer that you didn't
speak to my wife right now.
I'd like to break the news about Adam.
You see, she's got this heart condition.
Speak to your wife, sir?
The thought never entered my mind.
This is just routine, you know.
You told me Mr Evans wasn't here.
That's good enough for me, sir.
I see.
I'm just checking for the record.
You understand.
It's so sad, isn't it? Young guy like Adam
dying so unexpectedly.
You know, I had a cousin once,
about the same age.
He didn't smoke, he didn't drink,
worked out a couple of times a week.
Just walking along the street...
Just like that.
Oh. Heart attack?
No, he got run over by a bakery truck.
Well, I wanna thank you
for the bagels and the coffee.
I got everything I need.
- Appreciate the time.
- Glad to be of help. Let me show you out.
That was Lt Columbo from the police.
- What did he want?
- To know if Adam was here last night.
- How did he know?
- What did you tell him?
I told him I was sure that he wasn't.
Now listen. The only ones who know what
happened are you, me, David and Lydia.
As long as we stick together,
nobody will suspect her of anything.
Suspect her? Of what?
What could they possibly suspect her of?
Dad, don't worry. Whatever happens,
we're gonna stick by her.
It'll be all right.
(Lydia) Wesley?
Yes?
- Hi.
- Darling.
- What have I done?
- It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
I love you.
Wesley, I want to express my gratitude.
And I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
I will always be indebted to you.
To both of you.
Interesting, Lieutenant.
This man's heart did not attack him.
- What did?
- Medicine to prevent heart att*cks.
- Come again, Doctor?
- Digitalis.
Are you saying he had a bad heart
and he took too much?
- There was nothing wrong with his heart.
- Nothing wrong?
- Nope.
- But heart medicine k*lled him?
Cause of death: ventricular arrhythmia
induced by massive overdose of digitalis.
The normal dose
is around one milligram.
We found a hell of a lot more than that -
about twice what it would take to k*ll him.
A milligram. How much is a milligram?
Couple of grains of salt.
Are you saying all it took to k*ll this man
was the equivalent
of a dozen or so grains of salt?
- That's close enough.
- How long did it take? I mean to k*ll him?
Quick. A minute, maybe two.
Hm.
- Any marks on his body?
- .
?!
Minor mutilations and dilapidations,
lesions, lacerations,
abrasions, incisions, contusions...
The man made action movies.
He did his own stunts.
But here, let me show you.
The only new wound we found was a gash
inside the mouth on the right cheek.
Here, take a look.
Any idea what caused that?
- Pre-death convulsions, maybe.
- Convulsions?
- Doc, can I make a copy of this report?
- Help yourself.
Oh, one more thing.
Doctor, that little white speck
that we found on the corner of his mouth
was about the size of a grain of salt.
- Was that digitalis?
- No.
- That was salt.
- Salt? Regular salt?
Yeah. You know,
that stuff you put on food.
But it says his stomach was empty -
he didn't eat since breakfast.
That's the last time he ate.
He had... . alcohol in his blood.
- He had a drink before he died?
- That's not all he had.
Does that mean what I think it means?
- You mean he was?
- Can you think of a better way to go?
- Yes, Lieutenant?
- Oh, I didn't expect to see you here.
- I thought you'd be at the office.
- What can I do for you?
Well, actually nothing.
My business is with Mrs Corman.
- May I ask what kind of business?
- It's rather personal, sir.
- If I could see her? Just take a minute.
- No, I'm sorry.
Mrs Corman is not feeling very well.
She's very upset over Adam's death.
Unless you think it's absolutely necessary.
Well, I'm afraid it is, sir.
(Subdued conversation)
Lieutenant, I'm Dr Horace Sherwin,
Lydia's father.
My daughter isn't well.
Whatever you came for will have to wait.
Look, I only have one question.
If I could just ask her that, then I'd leave.
- What is it you want to know?
- If Mr Evans dropped by last night.
I already answered that.
I told you he wasn't here.
Well, not quite, sir. You said not that
you know of, because you weren't here.
- Well, he wasn't here.
- Were you here, sir?
- No.
- Then how do you know?
- My daughter would've told me.
- Did you ask her?
I don't have to ask her.
Why don't you ask her? Do it privately.
You do it. Just tell me what she says.
- I just need an answer.
- I know. You're just doing your job.
Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.
Lieutenant, Adam Evans was not here.
Did she speak to him
on the telephone yesterday, sir?
No. She said no.
The telephone records
indicate that they spoke five times.
Five times?
There were five calls.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna have to mention it.
Er, Doctor? The phone records indicate
that your daughter
spoke to Mr Evans five times yesterday.
So what? The man died of a heart attack.
I'm afraid not, sir.
Mr Evans was m*rder*d.
- m*rder*d?
- Poisoned by some kind of medicine.
- Poisoned?!
- That's insane!
Lydia, this must be terrible for you.
I love you. I'll always love you.
That's why it's important I know
where he was last night, ma'am.
- Lydia, don't answer that.
- He was here.
Thank you, ma'am. Did he have a drink?
She's not answering any more questions.
You mean she can't say
whether he had a drink?
- She doesn't have to say a word!
- He did have a drink.
- Was it a margarita?
- Yes.
- I thought so.
- How did you know?
He had a grain of salt here on his lip,
and there was alcohol in his stomach.
The only drink I can think of
with those two ingredients is a margarita.
Where did he have it, ma'am?
In there.
Did you make the margarita, ma'am,
or did he?
- I did.
- I see.
He said I made the best margaritas
in the world.
- And this was the tequila?
- Yes.
- Was the bottle full when you opened it?
- Yes.
- This is the blender?
- Yes.
And what did you drink
the margaritas out of, ma'am?
Over there. The glass.
Oh, there's only one glass.
Did you share the drink, ma'am?
- No. I can't drink.
- I see.
So there was only one glass,
and this was it and it was his?
Yes.
I'd like to take these down to the lab
and have them examine 'em.
- Unless there's an objection?
- And what if there is?
Oh, I'm afraid
I'd have to get a court order, sir.
You don't really believe
you're gonna find poison in there?
I certainly hope not, sir.
Uh, ma'am? Your husband mentioned
you have a heart condition.
Do you take any medication for it?
- Yes.
- Is that it that I see in your hand?
May I see it?
Thank you very much. I don't think
I have to take up any more of your time.
I'll call the lab
and leave as soon as they get here.
Sorry to disturb you. I really hope
this is the last time I have to bother you.
From your mouth to God's ear,
Lieutenant.
Oh, one more question, ma'am.
After Mr Evans had his drink...
how much longer was he still here?
Just a few minutes
and then he was gone.
Gone.
(Man) Well, no poison
in the tequila bottle.
I'll have the results of the glass
in a minute.
So you pulled out your handkerchief
and it was full of blue blotches?
Yeah, all full of blue blotches. And there
were people there. It was embarrassing.
- I think you better check with your wife.
- I'm gonna do that.
Thank God it's only on the handkerchief.
But there was poison
in the glass and the blender.
There was poison
in the glass and the blender.
And Mrs Corman said
the bottle was full when she opened it.
- Ned, do you have a beaker?
- Yeah.
And full it contains millilitres.
- Are these markings millilitres?
- Right.
Well, that's about .
from , that's .
- How much is that in ounces?
- About four.
Four.
Hm.
- I'm gonna leave this here with you, Ned.
- All right.
- And thank you very much.
- Mm-hm.
- Nice shirt.
- Right.
(Muzak)
Can I help you?
(Softly) May I speak
to Dr Corman, please?
- Do you have an appointment?
- No, ma'am.
- Are you in pain?
- I'm not here to see him about my teeth.
- Why are you whispering?
- Police. Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm whispering
so I don't alarm the patients.
They look nervous enough already.
That's very thoughtful of you, Lieutenant.
Let me just check with the doctor.
- (Buzzer)
- Doctor? Doctor?
- Yes, Frances?
- Dr Corman, there's a Lieut...
(quieter) There's a
Lieutenant Columbo here to see you.
Send him in to my office.
- You can wait right in here, Lieutenant.
- Oh. Thank you very much, ma'am.
Oh, look at all these movie stars.
Look at this.
Dr Corman has many celebrities
among his clientele.
- Oh, Adam Evans.
- Yeah. What a shame.
- I just saw one of his pictures.
- Yeah?
Yeah. He was in a t*nk.
It was in the desert.
He come out of the t*nk, he had a big
Japanese sword. Did you see that one?
- No, I missed that one.
- Oh, it was good.
Poor man. He was so young.
He always lit up the place
when he came in for an appointment.
In fact, he was due in for some work
the very afternoon of the night he died.
- Oh, so you saw him a few days ago?
- No. He didn't come in.
- You mean he never showed up?
- Oh, no, Lieutenant.
Mr Evans was far too considerate
ever to be a no-show.
No, he called the doctor himself
to cancel.
Thank you, Frances.
I'll take it from here.
Sorry, I don't have much time.
I have a patient waiting.
I understand, sir. Just a couple
of questions - take a minute.
Er, the lab examined the tequila bottle,
the blender and the glass.
- And?
- And, uh, they found poison, sir.
Well, that's absurd.
The bottle was clean, but the residue
in the blender and the glass
was loaded with digitalis.
It's unbelievable.
That's the same medicine
that your wife takes - it that right, sir?
Yes. Are you suggesting
that my wife poisoned Adam Evans?
- Was anyone else there, sir?
- No, but I know that she didn't k*ll him.
Can you think of anyone else
who might've had a reason to k*ll him?
No, I can't, Lieutenant.
Adam was very well liked. I never heard
a bad word spoken about him.
Now, he ran around with a lot of women,
if that means anything.
Well, thank you, sir.
That could be very helpful.
I know you got a patient waiting.
Thank you very much.
I just wanna say before I go
that, boy, of all the cases,
this one, I'll tell ya, this is a mishmash.
You know, the fella takes that amount
of poison, how does he get in his car
and drive all the way up to Mulholland
ten miles away and then die?
Exactly what is it you're trying to say?
I don't know, sir. If he was poisoned
at your house and died there...
I mean, the body could've been moved.
Do you seriously think
that my wife k*lled Adam Evans,
drove him up to Mulholland Drive
and pushed his car over the cliff?!
- Oh, no, sir. And you wanna know why?
- Yes.
I don't see how
she could've moved such a big man
from the pool house to the car
without help.
Would you validate this for me, sir?
My parking ticket.
Sure.
- I'm in for .
- Yeah, me too.
- (Doorbell)
- Just a minute. All right, I'll raise it .
- (Doorbell)
- Coming.
Er, whatever you're selling,
we don't want any.
Oh, I'm not selling anything.
I'm from the police.
The police? We didn't call the police.
Anyone call the police?
- No way!
- Cut it short.
- May I come in, sir?
- Sure. But we didn't call the police.
- Were they here the night before last?
- Yeah.
- May I ask them some questions?
- Be my guest.
Thank you.
My name is Lieutenant Columbo.
Excuse me for interrupting your game.
I just wanna ask you a few questions
and I'll try to get out of your hair as...
- You Nancy Walker?
- That's right.
From the Rock Hudson show?
Nancy Walker?
- You got it.
- What are you doin' here?
- I'm playing cards.
- I'll be a monkey's uncle!
- Sit down, Lieutenant.
- Oh, well, thank you very much.
- It's nice to meet you.
- Well, it's nice to meet you, ma'am.
Wait till I tell my wife about this.
Yes, as I was saying,
I would like to establish the whereabouts
of Wesley Corman the night before last.
- He was here.
- He was here?
- What time did he get here?
- What time did Wesley get here?
Well, by the time I got here he was already
complaining that he was down $ , .
I got here at :
and he was already here.
(Man) Yeah, that's about right.
I know this gentleman here.
Is he somebody too? Huh?
- Oh, yeah. You bet.
- Where do I know this man from?
Not TV. Not in a while.
Lately it's been Bakersfield.
He's very big there.
He was in the Easter Day parade there.
He played Rumpelstiltskin.
He took it to new dramatic heights.
- On TV, on TV...
- I Love Lucy, that was his greatest hit.
I Love Lucy? No, no...
You mean the neighbour?
- That's right.
- No, the neighbour was a stouter fella.
- Yeah, that's Dom DeLuise.
- Dom DeLuise? No. I love Dom DeLuise.
But no, sir, you were... What was it?
I did Bewitched.
By gum, Bewitched.
You were wonderful on that show, sir.
That was on Tuesday night?
Could you get on with the questions?
We'd kinda like to finish our game.
Oh, absolutely, sir. I'm sorry.
OK. Forgive me.
So am I safe in saying he got here
between : , : , something like that?
That's right.
Why are you so interested in Wesley?
Is this a serious problem?
This is Ron Cey.
This is the baseball player.
- That's right.
- Who else is here?!
- (laughter)
- Lieutenant, the questions?
(As Jack Nicholson)
Yeah, speed it up, chief.
See, I got a date to dance with the devil
in the pale moonlight, know what I mean?
- Jack Nicholson.
- He knows! I love this guy! He knows!
- I think we should mention the phone call.
- What phone call was that, sir?
- The phone call from Lydia.
- Oh, Dr Corman's wife called?
She was hysterical. She was yelling,
"Help me. Heart attack. Please help."
- They all heard her.
- What was she saying?
- "Help me." Very agitated, very...
- About a heart attack?
Then what happened?
You were on the phone?
Yeah. I tried to calm her down
and I said, "Who is this?"
and she said, "Lydia Corman", and
that's when Wesley grabbed the phone.
Dr Corman grabbed the phone when
he heard it was his wife on the phone?
Right.
But she didn't ask for him,
she just said her name?
That's right.
And what did Dr Corman say
when he got on the phone?
He said, "Lydia, what's wrong?
What happened?"
That's it?
He shouted her name,
but I think she'd gotten off the phone.
- Then he left?
- Yes.
- He and David.
- Who's David?
David Sherwin. He's Wes's brother-in-law.
- Oh, Lydia's brother was here?
- Yeah.
He saw the look on Wes's face and, well,
he knew Lydia was having trouble again.
Was she in trouble often?
What do you mean by that?
Listen, if somebody made a film
of their marriage,
it would be called One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest, Part .
Until two months ago, every time we had
a game she'd call twice in the evening.
Lieutenant, could you tell us
what this is all about?
I wish I knew, ma'am.
I wish I knew.
Well, thank you all
very much for your time.
Er... interesting group.
- David.
- Thanks, Wes.
- I'm worried about Lt Columbo.
- What about him?
First of all,
he knows the body was moved.
- What?
- But that's not the worst of it.
He found poison in Adam's glass
and the blender, but not the bottle.
And the poison was digitalis.
Digitalis.
What I'm worried about
is what happens
when he finds out what happened
seven years ago, and he will.
It's only a matter of time.
Now, I don't know
how the poison got into the glass,
but you can bet
that Columbo thinks Lydia put it in there.
I mean, how else would it have gotten in?
I think the best thing to do
is to put her where no one can find her.
- Like you did last time.
- But last time she was sick. Mentally ill.
Yeah. But so was the person
who put the poison in that glass.
(Phone rings)
Hello?
Yes.
Yes, David's here, Lieutenant.
It's o'clock.
All right. Barney's Beanery?
No, not Barney's Beanery. We'll meet you
at Club th Avenue in half an hour.
(#jazz fusion)
Thank you.
- What does he want to talk to me about?
- I don't know, David.
It might be better if I do the talking.
I won't say a word.
Don't worry, not a word.
Here he is. The raincoat.
Remember, he's a lot sharper
than he appears.
Sir? Sir?
- Your coat.
- My coat? Oh...
Thank you very much.
- David Sherwin.
- How do you do, sir?
- Evening, Lieutenant.
- Good evening. How are you?
You know,
I passed this place a hundred times
and I always thought, "I bet it's interesting.
I'd like to see it inside."
- Have you ever had that feeling?
- Yes.
So tonight I pull up,
guess who the valet parking guy is?
My wife's cousin.
- Really?
- You believe that? My wife's cousin.
- Small world.
- It is, isn't it?
And this poor guy, you know, he gambles.
He should talk to you, cos he never wins.
He had a bar, he lost it.
His wife left him. It's terrible.
To tell you the truth, I don't have
much sympathy for guys like that.
Right, sir... May I ask you something?
Your wife, sir, made five calls to the
victim on the afternoon of his death.
Do you know
what those calls were about?
Funny you ask. We were talking about that
with my father-in-law when you called.
- Really?
- Yeah.
The calls were about
a restaurant in Cannes.
- Five calls?
- Yeah.
You know, she forgot the name
of the place, she had to call him back,
they had a mutual friend somewhere,
could he pick her up some perfume
from Paris... that kind of thing.
I see.
Gentlemen, I'm gonna say something
to both of you.
I don't want you to take offence.
It's not gonna be easy for me to say.
You two have been
less than honest with me.
- I don't know what you mean.
- I was at John Valentine's tonight.
And I spoke to the poker players
and I know that your wife called,
and I know that she was hysterical -
something about a heart attack...
and I know you both ran home to help her.
How did you know
the game was at Valentine's?
From your answering service. You
left word where you could be reached.
Why did you conceal
that information from me?
- Tell him the truth, Wesley.
- We've got no other choice.
We moved the body, Lieutenant.
David and I moved the body.
- Right?
- Yes. We did it to protect Lydia.
I mean, I don't mean
there was something she'd done...
David, maybe I'd better explain.
Lieutenant, seven years ago
my wife's first husband
dropped dead in a Mexican hotel room
on their wedding night.
They were in bed,
they were making love,
and just like that he was gone.
Heart attack.
Lydia tried to save him.
She gave him some of her medicine,
which, as we both know,
can k*ll somebody
if they don't have
the same heart condition that she has.
You can understand
why she's taken Adam's death so hard.
I'd do anything to protect her from the
kind of t*rture she went through before.
So that's why you moved the body,
because you didn't want any connection
between your wife and the victim?
Yes. To tell you the truth, if it happened
all over again I'd do the exact same thing.
And I think you would, too.
Absolutely.
Well, I wanna thank you for your candour.
You know, up until tonight
this whole case was a total mishmash,
but now that you've said
what you've just said...
things are beginning to clear up.
Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
Beginning to clear up?
What did he mean?
Hard to say.
Uh, Mrs Corman?
Mrs Corman? Ma'am?
Yes?
- Are you all right, ma'am?
- What's happening?
I don't understand.
I... I don't understand about the poison.
Well, what about it, ma'am?
Well, Wesley told me that you found
poison in the margarita glass.
That's true.
But all I did was make a margarita.
I don't know anything about any poison.
Well, ma'am, there are two things
that we can't get around.
He died from digitalis
and there was digitalis in the glass.
Actually, there are three.
Can we go to the pool house?
Mr Evans did not die
up on Mulholland Drive.
He was dead
when the car went over the cliff.
He died here in the house,
probably right there on that couch.
And if you're wondering how I know,
ma'am, it was all in the autopsy report.
That you and Mr Evans were making love
shortly before he died.
And under those circumstances not many
women would call their husbands for help.
They would call ,
let the paramedics clean things up,
then call their husbands.
- Well, that's who I called. I called .
- You called ? Are you sure?
I'm not sure
of anything that happened that night,
but I am sure
I pressed the button, yes.
- On that phone?
- Yes, on that phone.
, emergency? Hello?
- Hello? .
- Sorry. Mistake.
What happened after your husband
and brother came here?
I don't know. All I remember is Adam
collapsing, then pressing the button.
- Are those your pills outside on the table?
- Yes.
"Take as directed."
- How many do you take a day, ma'am?
- I take two.
- Do you ever take more?
- No, never. They're much too dangerous.
This prescription for tablets
is dated days ago.
That means there should be left.
Hold out your hand, ma'am.
- Did you take one today?
- Yes.
Two, four, six, eight... ten.
Hm...
Any idea what happened
to the other nine pills, ma'am?
No.
You think I poisoned Adam,
don't you, Lieutenant?
It does look that way, doesn't it, ma'am?
Why is it?!
- What are you trying to do, k*ll it?
- Ah, the thing took my last quarter.
- Isn't there a number you can call?
- How? I haven't got a quarter.
- Oh, you want coffee? I'll buy.
- I wouldn't trust it.
Took my quarter.
I tried to tell you.
- See the morning paper?
- Only the ball scores.
Big story in the Adam Evans case...
that he was poisoned in some woman's
pool house and then moved.
- How did they hear about that?
- You mean it's true?
Yeah. But who tipped the paper off?
If it's true, how come
you haven't arrested this woman?
- Cos she didn't do it.
- She was the last person to see this guy.
She gave him the drink that k*lled him...
Who else could've done it?
- The husband.
- He was at a poker game four miles away.
- How do you think he managed it?
- If I knew that, I'd arrest him.
Well, lots of luck, Lieutenant.
I'll see you later, huh?
(Whistles casually)
You like the six horse in the fourth race?
What about the one horse?
No, I like him.
Oh. He's no good, huh?
You really like the six?
OK. Did you look at the five?
Oh, OK, then that's what we'll do.
Right. No, I'm leaving right now. I'll see
you out there at the top of the first race.
No, I'm leaving. Right.
I'll see you then. OK, bye-bye.
- Going to the track, huh?
- Oh, yeah. Big race today.
- Hey, you want a good horse?
- A horse?
- Yeah, a horse to bet on.
- To bet on? What's his name?
- Pinocchio.
- Pinocchio. Is he gonna win?
Guaranteed.
- Guaranteed? No kidding?
- The six horse, fourth race.
- You got a tip?
- I got a tip.
You got a tip? OK, baby, count me in.
Yes, sir. This is my lucky day.
Oh, sir, are you in a hurry?
Cos I can get my business done quick.
I'd appreciate it.
I wanna be there for the first race.
You got it, sir.
- Er, this Pinocchio, he's a boy horse?
- Oh, this Pinocchio's a girl.
Oh, a girl horse.
How's your luck running?
- Lieutenant, I'm in a bit of a hurry.
- I understand, sir. You got it.
You've got my money - that's why
I was worried how your luck was running.
- Oh, here's what I was looking for.
- Want me to validate that?
- Oh, this is not mine, sir.
- No, that's for the downstairs garage.
No, but you see the date?
It's three days ago.
This was the day Mr Evans died.
This was his parking ticket.
How do you know it's his?
Well, it matches the stub
that we found on his windshield.
Ah. Well, what about it?
Er... Sir, I didn't mean to bet the ten.
I was thinking two, maybe five.
What do you think?
Oh, I think you can go the five.
What about the ticket?
Well, it shows that he parked the car
down there at : .
What bothers me, sir, is you said
that he cancelled his appointment.
- Oh, he did.
- He did?
It's a big building - doctors, lawyers,
accountants... He could've seen anybody.
Oh. So he cancelled you...
and something more important came up.
Most likely.
Do you know
of any other ailment that he had?
If he saw another doctor,
I might check.
- Please, I have no idea why he was here.
- All right. Oh, what's this?
- It's a crown.
- A crown. What's it made of?
Uh, porcelain compound.
Porcelain?
Like in a teacup or a toilet bowl?
I don't know. I don't keep up with that
stuff. I never was any good at chemistry.
I put some glue on and pop 'em in,
that's about it.
- It looks just like a tooth.
- I gotta go. I gotta be there in minutes.
I understand. Good luck, Doc.
- Oh, sir?
- Yes?
Could I just have my $ change?
Ah...
I hope your luck keeps running good, sir.
You know, that has a way of changing.
Not mine. I'm on a roll.
I'll see you later.
(Race commentary)
Beaker's Pleasure clings on to the lead.
Grey Wonder is up alongside him.
Now they're neck and neck.
Beaker's Pleasure and Grey Wonder,
those two are stride for stride.
And gradually it's Grey Wonder up on the
outside, in front of Beaker's Pleasure,
and coming under the wire
it's Grey Wonder!
- Can I pick 'em, or what?
- Congratulations, bud.
I tell you, that jockey can't lose today.
Did you put the money on it? I told you to.
- Did Pinocchio win, Doc?
- No, he hasn't run yet.
Oh, good. I was afraid
I'd get here too late and miss it.
- How's your luck running?
- I'm on a hot streak, Lieutenant.
Great.
Do you think I could join you?
Oh, we're filled up here. Sorry.
Don't know what to say.
- Did you bet my money?
- I sure did.
Well, that's the important thing.
Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed, Doc.
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
Pardon me.
(Muted discussion of horses)
Things are goin' good, huh?
Going good, huh?
Very good. Lieutenant, we're working
on the next race. You'll have to excuse us.
(Fanfare)
Beautiful out here, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.
- Did you bet Pinocchio?
- What race is that?
- Doc, what race is Pinocchio?
- Four.
- Er, fourth.
- Did you bet him?
- I bet him, yeah. I got a tip.
This fella here next to me,
he's a dentist but he bets thousands.
No kidding?
Remember these, Doc?
You remember them?
I think those were planted
on Mr Evans's body.
Why would you say that?
I don't understand
how they got in his pocket.
I thought I explained it to you.
He must've picked them up at the house.
But what bothers me
is not a single match was used.
Now, whenever I borrow a match
it's because I wanna light my cigar.
Why would a guy pick up a book
of matches and not use a single match?
I imagine because he wanted
to use them later.
He had a completely filled lighter
in his pocket.
Lieutenant, it wasn't
Adam's first visit to the house.
He could've picked those matches up
at any time.
Well, I would buy that
if I found them in his jacket pocket,
but these were found in his shirt pocket.
And if he was anything like me,
he changed his shirt every day.
Uh-huh...
I see what you mean.
So I'm stuck. I don't know how they got
there unless somebody put 'em there.
I wish I could help you.
Well, don't worry about it.
If your horse wins, that's the important
thing. Then you've done your share.
No problem, Lieutenant.
Bet the winners. I always bet the winners.
Say, did you know
that in Mr Evans's car at the crash site
we found the gear shift in neutral?
Excuse me? This is my seat.
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
- Did you know that. Doc?
- I didn't know that, Lieutenant.
Ah, hi.
It just seemed strange when I first saw it
that someone who crashed a car
during a fatal heart attack,
that he would put the gear into neutral.
- I know what you mean.
- I wonder if that was deliberate,
just to make sure the police wouldn't
simply write it off as a heart attack
and let it go at that.
Excuse me.
- That guy's a real pain in the butt.
- Yeah, you got that right.
- Let's get back to business.
- What about No. ?
Sir?
Sir... I didn't come here
because of my bet.
- You didn't?
- No. No, it was something else.
Um...
Sir, I assume you know what your wife
and Mr Evans were doing before he died?
Yes, Lieutenant, I do know.
You do know. I thought you did.
But you wanted to protect her anyway?
I still do.
You must love her very much.
She's got my number, Lieutenant.
Well, I got some very good news
to tell you about her.
I also have some not-so-good news.
Um, could we go somewhere
where we could talk?
Absolutely.
There are very few husbands
that would do what you did.
- You're very rare.
- I really had no choice.
- Why don't we just stand at the bar?
- Fine with me.
Would you care for a drink, sir?
You said you had good news
about my wife. I'd like to hear it.
She's innocent.
- She's what?
- She didn't do it.
- She didn't do it?
- No, sir.
Well, that's terrific!
That's great news. God, what a relief.
You're sure?
Absolutely.
Uh, Red? Would you have a minute?
I'm going to show you.
We know how much margarita was in the
blender because the residue left a mark.
- Would you do me a favour, sir?
- Yes, sir.
Would you fill that with water
right up to that mark?
- Just water, sir?
- Just water.
Believe it or not, I used to have red hair.
And this is the actual glass
that Evans drank the margarita from.
Uh, thank you very much.
Now let me show you something, sir.
This is gonna put your mind at rest.
Mr Evans drinks his first margarita.
Then he drank his second margarita.
And we know he had two margaritas.
How? Because the glass and the blender
were empty when we found them.
Problem: how did he drink
the second margarita?
Answer: he couldn't have.
Why not?
Because he would've been dead
after the first one.
According to the coroner,
the amount of poison in that glass,
he'd have been dead in a minute.
So what does this all mean?
It means there was no poison in
the blender when he drank the margarita.
None.
The poison was put in the glass
and the blender after he was dead.
The poison in the margarita didn't k*ll him.
Poison from someplace else k*lled him.
- Someplace else.
- Someplace else.
So your wife, she's in the clear.
- That's good news, right?
- Wonderful news, Lieutenant.
Just wonderful.
So what's the not-so-good news?
Well, that's a little complicated to explain.
Maybe I'd better show it to you.
Just take a minute.
Sir, did you know that the night
your wife called the poker game for help
that she dialled ,
but she didn't get ?
She got John Valentine's house.
Listen, if she got John's house,
she must've dialled John's number.
Well, she was having an affair
with another man...
it's a big question
as to whether she'd call her husband.
And she's sure
that she pressed the button.
Here's what I think happened.
Press the speakerphone,
now the button.
- (Woman) John Valentine's residence.
- That's what I think happened.
I think somebody
reprogrammed the button
so that it would ring
at John Valentine's house.
You found the button
programmed to ring John's number?
No, sir, but whoever changed it originally
was too clever to leave it that way.
And it only takes a second
to reprogramme it.
- Excellent work, Lieutenant.
- Thanks.
Excellent work. My goodness.
You've really spent some time on this.
Ah, yes, sir.
Interesting theory.
Should I call my lawyer?
- Well, that's up to you, sir.
- (Chuckles)
There's one thing that puzzles me.
Why don't you arrest me?
- That's a good question.
- That is a good question.
Red? A scotch for the lieutenant
and I'd like a glass of milk, please.
Yes, sir.
It's my lucky drink.
Lieutenant, I assume that when you said
you had bad news for my wife
that you meant that her husband
not only m*rder*d her lover
but was attempting
to frame her for the crime.
That is true, sir.
I also assume
that you've spoken to my in-laws,
and that they told you I was a leech,
that I lived off their money,
that I manipulated my wife
and they wanted to kick me out.
Yes, sir, I did.
You've found a terrific motive.
My wife ends up in prison or an asylum,
I look like a devoted husband and my
father-in-law would do anything for me.
It sounds right.
- You think that I m*rder*d Adam Evans.
- I do, sir.
Tell me... how did I do that?
I don't know, sir.
You don't know?
- That's a bit of a problem, isn't it?
- It is.
Thank you, Red.
Well, it's fortunate
I'm so good-natured, Lieutenant.
Somebody else might take offence.
Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
go out there and root for our horse.
Now, you're welcome to join me, or, uh...
you could stay here and
try to figure it out.
I think I'll stay here, sir.
I thought you would.
I'll see you later, Lieutenant.
(Over PA) One of the outsiders, a
big outsider at - , is Pinocchio.
If you don't come to see me... you're
gonna have troubles. That's the way it is.
So, what's the problem?
It's this tooth here. It's k*lling me.
I think it's a cavity.
I'll do the diagnosing. Open.
Ooh! Whoa! That's beautiful!
Agh! What was that?
You got a big problem under that filling.
Gotta give you a new one.
- Today?
- Today.
- I was hoping we could do it another day.
- No.
- I only want some information.
- Oh! Information.
The man's tooth is on the verge of
abscess, all he wants is information.
I got a theory kicking around in my head
and I wanna talk to you about it.
Are things so bad downtown
that you can't afford a new shirt?
What's the matter with this shirt?
It's got all these blue splotches on it.
It looks terrible.
Oh, that. Laundry blueing.
You know what that is?
- No.
- You're better off than I am.
Laundry blueing...
I still don't know what I did wrong.
I put it in the laundry
and everything came out with blue spots.
Underwear, shirts, my handkerchiefs...
And they say the blue won't come out.
Open.
Hey, Doc, take it easy, will ya?
You think I enjoy this?
That's the trouble - nobody loves the dentist.
- Got any idea how that makes a guy feel?
- Try being a homicide detective.
Well, at least your wife and dog love you.
Last time I tried to clean my wife's teeth,
she bit me.
Open.
Come on. Up...
So, while you can still talk,
what's the information?
A guy goes to the dentist, say : .
Now it's ten o'clock at night
and he drops dead
from a lethal dose of quick-acting poison.
I think the dentist did it,
but I don't know how.
Boy, it's not bad enough we gotta be
dentists, now we gotta be murderers too.
So how would you do it?
Theoretically.
Theoretically?
I don't have any idea. Nah.
You wanna find out something like that,
you gotta talk to a better dentist than me.
Open.
(Drill)
- (David) And you believe it?
- (Horace) Of course.
A man like Columbo tells me my daughter
is no longer a suspect, I believe him.
No, you believe that Wesley did it?
(Horace) The lieutenant's sure of it.
He just doesn't know how.
I suspect Wesley was a lot more clever
than we gave him credit for.
- Fooled me.
- He fooled all of us.
- But now he's been found out.
- Found out?
That's right.
- The usual, Lieutenant?
- (Slurred) Nah.
I don't know what I want,
but I don't want the usual.
- Don't feel like eatin', huh?
- No.
I can understand that. Neither do I.
I've had this head cold for three days
and it's killin' me. You got a cold?
No, I was at the dentist
and the Novocaine is wearing off.
I think I bit my cheek.
I can feel something there.
And the tooth is starting to hurt and I
don't feel like eating, but I'm hungry.
Want a little advice? Go home, take
a good shot of whisky, get right into bed.
- (Sneezes)
- Oh, boy.
- Salud.
- Thank you.
Lieutenant? Lieutenant!
That was the happiest call I ever received.
I can't tell you how grateful I am.
And so is my son.
I can't thank you enough.
I am so relieved about Lydia, I...
(slurred) Well, the best way
you could thank me...
Is something wrong with your mouth?
I was at the dentist.
The Novocaine is wearing off.
The best way you could thank me
is if you could shed some light
on how this could've happened.
I know that Mr Evans was in your office
building at : on the day he died
from the parking stub.
I know he had an appointment
to fill his cavity.
And I don't care what Wesley says,
I believe that Evans
was in Wesley's office that lunchtime,
and that's when it happened.
If that's when he was poisoned,
that's when he would've died.
- There's no way round that.
- Well, that's our problem. Excuse me.
Fred?
Could I have a glass of water, please?
I have to take my pain pill,
cos it's starting to act up on me now.
Be careful of this ice
on your tooth there.
What'll you have?
May I recommend...
- (sneezes)
- Bless you.
- You ought to take something.
- Sounds awful.
I tried everything. I was in the market
the other day and I saw these things.
You know, all different colours...
Look like candy. Probably a marketing gimmick.
No, no, that's no gimmick. Each one
of those colours, they have a purpose.
See the beads here in the capsule?
Well, the red ones dissolve in one minute,
the yellows in ,
the greens in an hour,
the blues in four hours,
the whites in eight hours, and so on.
You've seen the commercial -
-hour cold pills.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, they're very common.
In fact, these pills here that your dentist
recommended, they're the same thing.
That's how he did it.
- What's that?
- He coated it.
He coated the digitalis
with a medical time-release gel.
And inserted it in a cavity.
Yeah, here are Mr Evans' x-rays.
And you picked up
the autopsy x-rays from the coroner?
- Yes, sir, I did.
- Well, let's have them and we'll find out.
Ah...
- Oh, I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
- What's the matter?
Well, Evans was coming in to have
a cavity filled in a lower-left bicuspid,
but according to the coroner's x-ray
it was never touched.
- Well, that's not possible.
- Here, look for yourself.
Well, that's crazy.
I know that's how he did it.
Lower-left bicuspid, huh?
Wait a second...
Gash...
Hold the phone, Doc. Gash...
Gash. Where did I write that?
Here it is. "Gash in the right cheek."
Not the left cheek, the right cheek.
Forget about the cavity, Doc.
What do you see...
on this side of the mouth?
(Woman) That's everything.
It's all in the report.
Lieutenant! Tell me what's going on.
I've got a dozen patients lined up.
They'll have to wait, sir -
maybe for a long time.
I told you that you m*rder*d Mr Evans.
I told you I'd get the proof. Now I got it.
You have, huh?
You k*lled him while he was in a dentist
chair on the afternoon of the day he died.
That's ridiculous.
You coated the digitalis with a medical gel
that would dissolve over a period of hours.
When it did, the poison seeped out,
it was absorbed through the gums
and into the system.
It's an absolutely lunatic theory!
I have to warn you, sir,
I've had Mr Evans's body exhumed.
We will find traces
of digitalis in his mouth,
and that, Dr Corman, will convict you.
Lieutenant? Whenever you're ready.
Dad?
These are x-rays taken in your office last
week, Dr Corman, of Adam Evans's teeth.
Do you think you could show me
where the cavity is?
Yes, Lieutenant.
Lower left, second-to-last molar.
- You see that black spot right there?
- Yes, sir.
Er, Dr Johnson, would you hold these?
And as you so aptly described it,
that is still a cavity.
I haven't touched it,
and I assume no one else has.
You know what the problem is? I went
to my dentist and he gave me Novocaine,
and the first thing you know, I bit the
inside of my cheek, without knowing it.
And you know something else?
Adam Evans did the same thing.
Nasty cut on the inside of his cheek.
But the trouble is, it's on the other side,
away from the cavity.
- You know what that says to me?
- No, I don't.
That says you put the poison
somewhere else in his mouth.
May I have those x-rays, Doctor?
Is that a crown, Dr Sherwin?
Excuse me.
- Dr Sherwin, is that a crown?
- Yes, it is.
- Is that a porcelain crown?
- That's correct.
Lieutenant, give it up. Even if the poison
had been put under the crown,
the body would've absorbed it by now.
You wouldn't find a trace.
But I'm not looking for
traces of digitalis.
You know what that is, Doc?
That's a chemistry set I had as a kid.
I gave it to my nephew last Christmas.
I tell you, that kid, he's a whiz at this.
Kinda takes after me, actually.
I was a terrific chemistry student
in high school.
Now, watch this.
You said it yourself, Doc - that you didn't
know a whole lot about chemistry,
that you didn't keep up with this stuff.
And that's where you made your mistake.
Because last night... I couldn't sleep.
I went over to the nephew's house
and I got this,
and I was up half the night
playing around with it,
and I made an interesting discovery.
Did you know
that just the tiniest bit of digitalis
will turn porcelain enamel blue
when catalysed by moisture
heated to body temperature?
- No, I didn't.
- You remember this? Porcelain crown?
I saw one like that
in your office the other day.
And in this envelope I have pure digitalis,
which Dr Johnson
was kind enough to give me.
And I'm gonna sprinkle this digitalis
onto this porcelain crown.
Now we heat some water. Not much.
Now I just wanna get this water
to approximately body temperature.
There, I think that ought to do it.
Eye dropper. Not much.
Now watch carefully.
You see that?
And you know what, Doc?
When we pull that porcelain crown from
the right side of Adam Evans's mouth,
you can bet your eye tooth that the
underside of it is gonna be stained blue.
You're through, Wesley.
It's a pity you were so weak in chemistry.
Dr Johnson,
hand me that extractor, please.
Thank you.
Forget it! Just forget it, will you?!
There's no need. Just leave it be.
(Sighs)
I couldn't believe it when Daddy told me.
You would've let me go to prison.
Or insane.
What I did is no worse than what
you and your father had planned for me.
All right, let's go.
Oh, man, are you bananas?
Let me see that thing.
Digitalis on porcelain?
That won't do a damn thing.
The only thing
that's gonna turn this crown blue
is something like
common, ordinary laundry blueing.
Kinda like that stuff
you got there on your shirt.
Laundry blueing...
Is that a fact?
- (Man) What? Another guy?
- I've been lonely a very long time.
- Lydia, I don't wanna know his name.
- (Man) The man died of a heart attack.
- Sir, Mr Evans was m*rder*d.
Lt Columbo, police.
- You got a tip?
- I got a tip.
This is my lucky day.
What the hell is he doing now?
Sir, I assume you know what your wife
and Mr Evans were doing before he died?
Yes, Lieutenant, I do.
- David and I moved the body.
- Yes, we did it to protect Lydia.
- You think I poisoned Adam, don't you?
- It does look that way.
- Morning.
- Morning, Doctor.
(Dentist's drill in background)
- Good morning, Frances.
- He wants to see you. Now.
- Oh, he's upset, right?
- Right.
- (Knock at door)
- Come in.
- Hi, Dad.
- Don't "Hi, Dad" me, young man.
Sir, I know I'm late.
I'm sorry. Couldn't be helped.
I ran into Bo Youngstreet.
I told you about him...
owns a couple of dozen oil wells
outside Tulsa.
- Sit down.
- He's put together a development deal.
Brand-new syndicate.
It's got very good possibilities.
Wesley, let me ask you something.
What do you do for a living?
Sir?
Oh, I know what it says on our office door:
Wesley Corman, DDS.
But I see you so seldom I thought perhaps
you'd taken up some other profession.
- I know. I'm sorry.
- Which may not be a bad idea.
Because as a dentist
you're a total incompetent.
For five years you've been my son-in-law
as well as my junior associate,
and in both of those areas
you've been a crashing failure.
I only put up with you
because my daughter,
misguided though she was,
loved you.
Well, now, happily,
that condition has just about ended.
- What are you talking about?
- Don't look so surprised.
I put Lydia in touch
with an excellent divorce attorney.
In a matter of weeks
your relationship will be terminated.
Now hold on. We have our problems,
like every married couple,
but if divorce was mentioned
I know she wasn't serious.
Serious? She's damned serious,
and so am I.
Wesley, you are a compulsive gambler.
But I have paid your last gambling debt,
bailed you out of your last tight spot.
Let me show you something.
I have here $ , of your IOUs to me.
Now hold on. All I've done
is try to develop outside interests
so Lydia and I aren't so dependent on you.
Dependent on me? (chuckles)
"One racehorse: $ , ."
Died of heart failure second time
out of the gate and he was uninsured.
That big land-development deal down
in Ensenada: $ , down the drain.
And I have a whole list of gambling debts
that I paid for you,
from Las Vegas to Atlantic City.
Well, I intend to collect.
Sir...
I think you realise that...
that I won't be able to make it
if you hold me to those notes.
Wesley, you're amazing.
You knew this was coming about
for some time now,
and yet you couldn't face it,
could you?
Well...
no more, my friend. No more.
Wait a minute. Aren't you forgetting?
Six years ago I saved your daughter's life.
This time that's not gonna work.
I give you till the end of this month
to take your practice, such as it is,
and get out of here.
Do you understand me?
(Dials number)
- Hello?
- Hi, Adam. Wesley.
- How you doing?
- Good. How are you?
- I'm in good shape.
- Great. Listen, I need a favour.
- How much do you need?
- No, I don't need to borrow more money.
As a matter of fact,
I expect to pay you back next week.
The reason I'm calling is to ask you
to change your two o'clock to : .
- Can you do that?
- Yes, no problem.
- Terrific.
- You got it, buddy.
- Great. Yeah, : sharp.
- I'll be there.
I'll see you there.
Adam, thanks. You saved my life.
No big deal.
(someone dives into pool)
- (phone buzzes)
- Yes, Doctor?
Did I mention that Adam Evans
called me at home last night
to cancel his two o'clock?
- No, you didn't.
- Oh, I'm sorry. He did.
As consolation, you girls
can take an early lunch.
- Well, thank you, sir.
- Have a good time.
You too.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Look, I'm only gonna be a few minutes,
so park it up front, would you?
- Sure. Thank you, sir.
- Thanks a lot.
- Adam Evans!
- Adam Evans! Oh, my God!
- (Excited gushing)
- Ladies. Sure, I'll be glad to.
This is so exciting!
You're so handsome in person!
Oh, thank you!
There you go.
Have a good day, ladies.
- Hey, Wes.
- Hey, buddy. Right on time. Come on in.
You can hang your jacket
on the back of the door.
- I really appreciate your coming in early.
- No problem, Wes.
- Where are my girls?
- All out sick. Can you believe that?
- Is that a fact?
- We had to cancel all our appointments.
Would've cancelled yours
if you weren't going to Cannes.
I'm glad you didn't.
So, you starting a new film
or going on vacation or what?
- No, I'm going to the film festival.
- Is that right? Sounds like a good time.
- Yeah, we're gonna have a good time.
- I'll try not to make you late for the plane.
All right, seƱor, lower-left bicuspid
you got a lot of decay around the filling,
but what needs immediate attention
is the crown on the right side.
- OK. You're the doc.
- All right, let's put some light on you.
And... we'll numb you up here.
Chew down. That's it.
All right. You don't mind needles, do you?
- Oh, no.
- Of course not.
- Agh...
- There she goes...
- Heard any good jokes lately?
- (Chuckles)
Easy, easy... Almost there...
- That's not too bad.
- No. Wake me when you're done.
Let's have a look.
- You feel that?
- Uh-uh.
Good. Yeah, she's loose.
Pull her right out of there.
There you go.
- That didn't hurt, did it?
- Uh-uh. No.
Now, don't you go anywhere.
I'll be right back.
(Turns drill on)
- All rightie...
- You did it?
Yup.
Now we... slap a little concrete on here...
And...
pop her in.
OK.
Bite down on that.
And, er...
that's better than the original.
Stay away from hot liquids
till the Novocaine wears off...
you don't want to burn yourself.
When you get back from Cannes
let's have dinner.
Lydia'd love to hear all about the trip.
You met Lydia, didn't you?
At the Bergman party?
- Yeah, I think I did.
- Gosh, she's a big fan of yours.
She's like a schoolgirl - she's making
sense of all the pictures... A big fan.
- Nice to know I have at least one.
- Yeah, right.
- Thanks again, Wes.
- Sure. Take care.
Hi. Do you like what you see? I do.
- I didn't hear your car.
- At those prices, you're not supposed to.
- Did you hear from your father?
- He called.
- So you heard the good news.
- Wesley, don't.
Lydia, sometimes you get the gold mine,
sometimes you don't.
- We agreed it would be the best thing.
- No, I never did.
I couldn't, Lydia. You know
how much I've always loved you.
No, I don't know that.
- Maybe if you had shown...
- I tried, Lydia. I really did, in my own way.
If it wasn't enough, then so be it.
You know, after what happened to your
first husband, when you needed help,
I suppose I knew I was just a crutch
to lean on, but now that you're cured...
I guess I was a guy who happened
to be there. I just wasn't the right guy.
Wesley...
I've been lonely for a very long time.
- And you'll find out sooner or later, so...
- What? Another guy?
Yes.
- He is...
- Lydia, I don't wanna know his name.
- I think you're grown up enough.
- No.
No, after the divorce is final, fine,
but don't cut me into little pieces now.
All right.
Lydia...
I know you've had a rough time
these past two years.
I don't wanna make it
any more difficult for you.
I just want you to know that if anything
happens, if you change your mind,
if this guy, whoever he is,
isn't what you want him to be,
then I'll be there for you.
I always will.
Thank you.
Lydia... I just want you
to know I love you.
(Sighs)
The game's at John Valentine's tonight.
I'll be there if you need me.
Don't forget to take your medicine.
I won't.
- (Man) Hello?
- Hi.
- Are you alone?
- He just left.
- Will he be back soon?
- No, no, he won't be back until late.
Which will give me plenty of time
to convince you to take me with you.
(Lydia) I'll be waiting.
Well, friends, I got nothing
but a little old flush.
- I think a full house beats a flush.
- (All) Aw!
- Do you believe that?
- Well, it's my house.
It's only nine o'clock,
I'm already getting k*lled.
The evening is young, darling.
Hang in there.
- Deal the cards, Bunkie.
- Ante up.
(Chamber music)
He said he didn't wanna know
anything about us.
Sure he doesn't
know about us already?
You don't know Wesley. If Wesley
can't bet on it, he's not interested.
That's too bad. I'd prefer it
if everything was out in the open.
I would, too.
It will be soon, thank God.
Thank God!
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Is it up to par?
Mm...
Delicious. You make the best
damn margarita I ever had.
- Be kind to me, girl, be kind to me.
- I'll do my best.
- OK, aces bet.
- I'm in for .
(As John Wayne) Sorry, pilgrim,
I gotta see that and raise .
- Ah, fold.
- And the host is in.
- I'm in.
- Call.
I'll call and... raise it .
- On what? You got zip.
- Who asked you?
Well, excuse me for living.
- I call.
- (Man) Uh-oh!
- Take me to Cannes with you.
- Uh-uh.
Cause talk - nasty talk,
you still being married.
Besides, it's only for five days.
- Five very, very long, long...
- Oh...
But when I get back, you and Wesley
will have done what you have to do,
and you and I
will have the rest of our lives.
- I'm in for .
- I call.
(As Woody Allen) I can't believe it.
Anybody who'd play a hand like this
has to be a total masochist.
Jeez, I can't believe it. I call. Jeez...
I don't think so.
Yeah, call.
I think I'll raise... to .
Ooh!
- How do you like them apples?
- # Dnn-da-dn-dn!
(Adam gasps)
Adam? Adam?
(Groans)
Adam?
Adam?! Adam? Adam, don't die!
Adam! Don't die! You can't die! You can't!
Too rich for me. I fold.
My fellow Americans, I thought this was
supposed to be a kinder, gentler game.
Call.
Adam! Don't die! Adam!
- Too expensive.
- Well, it's just you and me, Nancy.
Adam!
Oh, I forgot.
You were in too, weren't you, Wesley?
You are still in, aren't you?
Because I have no recollection.
- (Phone rings)
- Excuse me.
Yeah, yeah, I'm in.
- Yeah?
- Help! It's an emergency!
- It's a heart attack! The address is ...
- Stop yelling. I can't understand you.
Quick. Please hurry! It's a heart attack!
Please help me!
- OK, OK, who is this?
- Lydia Corman.
- Lydia. Just a minute. Here's Wesley.
- Come quick! Help!
- Lydia, what's happened?
- Hurry! Please hurry!
Adam? Adam!
(Sobs)
Oh, God...
Lydia?
David, let's go. Sorry, guys.
Pool house!
- Oh, my God.
- Lydia? Lydia!
Oh, my God. What happened?
(Lydia mumbles hysterically)
It's all right. It's all right.
He's dead.
Sis, did you call ?
- Did you call the police?
- He's dead... Just like Tony...
- What are you doing?
- Calling .
- Don't be a fool.
- The man is dead!
I'm thinking of your sister.
You can't put her through that again.
- What choice do we have?
- He died just like Tony.
We gotta move the body.
Get her upstairs. I'll get him dressed.
(Lydia whimpers)
(turns engine on)
All clear?
OK.
- Hold that straight.
- (Police radio)
(horn blasts)
- What are you doing with that thing?
- Trying to figure out how to work it.
- Those things are for cops, you know.
- Yeah. Well, I'm a cop.
Oh, you're a cop.
I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Hi.
- Says he's a cop.
- He's a cop.
Yeah, I've been on the force years.
- Been on the force for years.
- years, huh?
Believe it or not, I never had a chance
to work this thing before.
What the hell is he doing now?
- What's the problem?
- No problem, Officer. I'm with the force.
- Lieutenant Columbo.
- I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
That bubble -
where do you connect those things?
- You plug that in your cigarette lighter.
- Oh, the cigarette lighter.
Cigarette lighter doesn't work.
- Come on, I'll give you an escort.
- Oh, thanks.
You know, believe it or not,
years on the force,
I never had to use
one of those things before.
Oh.
- Move it over.
- Secure that rope down there.
- One parking stub.
- Oh. Right. Thanks.
Check where it's from,
the day it was issued and the time.
You got it, Lieutenant.
- Want some coffee, Lieutenant?
- No, I just had some. Got a match?
- No. I don't smoke.
- So what's the story here?
The ambulance boys
think it was a coronary.
- You know who this guy is?
- No. Who is he?
Could we have it a minute, guys? Please?
Thank you.
Take a look at this.
- Adam Evans.
- Yeah. You've seen him in movies, right?
Yeah. You know, just Saturday night
my wife ran... we ran a picture of his.
- Did you?
- Yeah. It was good, too.
He was in this helicopter...
What a shame.
Yeah. Scary, isn't it?
One minute you're on top of the heap,
girls love you, lots of bucks,
next minute you're snuffed out,
cancelled by the Grim Reaper.
Very well put, Sergeant.
Listen, have the medical examiner find out
what this little white speck is on his lip.
Got you.
OK, guys, you can have him.
OK, let's go. Clear the way.
- Excuse me. You got a match?
- Oh, sure, Lieutenant.
Compliments of Adam Evans.
Found them in his shirt pocket.
Listen, when you fellas moved the body,
did you touch anything?
- I mean like the gear shift?
- No, we didn't touch a thing.
No? Thank you very much.
Sure.
(Doorbell)
- Can I help you?
- Good morning, sir.
I'm sorry to disturb you so early.
Lt Columbo, police.
- Yeah?
- Sir, it's freezing out here.
Could I come in?
This coat has no lining.
- Yeah, sure, come on in.
- Thank you very much.
I hate to be the bearer of sad tidings,
but it seems there's been an accident...
a friend of yours, I think.
Adam Evans, the actor?
Yeah?
Well, they found him this morning
up at Mulholland Head.
Oh, no.
Oh, my God.
A car accident?
They think it was a heart attack, sir.
Heart attack?
I can't believe that.
If you have a moment, sir,
could I ask you a few questions?
Yeah, sure. Come on in.
- Like a cup of coffee, Lieutenant?
- Oh, I sure could use one, sir.
- How about a bagel?
- Oh, I don't wanna put you out.
No trouble. No trouble at all.
- How do you take it?
- A touch of cream.
Cream's in the fridge. Help yourself.
Mr Evans - was he a good friend of yours?
Well, he was a friend. He was a patient.
Oh, then he did have trouble
with his heart?
I don't know.
I was his dentist, not his doctor.
Oh, his dentist. (chuckles)
Sounds like I should apologise
for something.
Well, dentists,
they gotta live too, I suppose.
- How was he feeling last night?
- What's that?
I said how was he feeling last night, sir?
When he was here.
Any problems, chest pains,
anything like that?
What makes you think
he was here last night?
Oh, it's very simple, sir. We found
these matches in his shirt pocket.
Oh. Well, he could've
picked those up any time.
Oh, then he was a friend? I mean,
he's been here as a guest in the house?
Yeah. I wouldn't say
he was a close friend.
Well, we met him at a party some time
ago and Lydia, she's a big fan of his.
But he wasn't here last night?
Not that I know of, Lieutenant.
But then again, I wasn't here.
Last night was my poker night.
I left here about eight.
Didn't get back until... I don't remember
what time, but I didn't see Adam.
Very good.
- What's that?
- These bagels are very good.
Thank you. Would you like another?
Oh, may I, sir?
I didn't have any breakfast.
Sure. Help yourself. Go ahead.
Lieutenant, you always chew
on one side of your mouth?
Oh, no, sir.
It's just when you told me what you did
it reminded me I have
this sensitive tooth on the left side.
Could be a cavity.
I don't know. I just ignore it.
- That's not very smart of you, Lieutenant.
- Well, I can't stand drilling.
I mean, it's not the drilling so much.
I can't stand the sound.
Just thinking about it makes me very ill.
You ought to come see me.
I use an ultrasonic drill - thing purrs
like a kitten. You won't feel a thing.
Well, you know, that's just what I need.
One of those.
Lieutenant, I'd prefer that you didn't
speak to my wife right now.
I'd like to break the news about Adam.
You see, she's got this heart condition.
Speak to your wife, sir?
The thought never entered my mind.
This is just routine, you know.
You told me Mr Evans wasn't here.
That's good enough for me, sir.
I see.
I'm just checking for the record.
You understand.
It's so sad, isn't it? Young guy like Adam
dying so unexpectedly.
You know, I had a cousin once,
about the same age.
He didn't smoke, he didn't drink,
worked out a couple of times a week.
Just walking along the street...
Just like that.
Oh. Heart attack?
No, he got run over by a bakery truck.
Well, I wanna thank you
for the bagels and the coffee.
I got everything I need.
- Appreciate the time.
- Glad to be of help. Let me show you out.
That was Lt Columbo from the police.
- What did he want?
- To know if Adam was here last night.
- How did he know?
- What did you tell him?
I told him I was sure that he wasn't.
Now listen. The only ones who know what
happened are you, me, David and Lydia.
As long as we stick together,
nobody will suspect her of anything.
Suspect her? Of what?
What could they possibly suspect her of?
Dad, don't worry. Whatever happens,
we're gonna stick by her.
It'll be all right.
(Lydia) Wesley?
Yes?
- Hi.
- Darling.
- What have I done?
- It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.
I love you.
Wesley, I want to express my gratitude.
And I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
I will always be indebted to you.
To both of you.
Interesting, Lieutenant.
This man's heart did not attack him.
- What did?
- Medicine to prevent heart att*cks.
- Come again, Doctor?
- Digitalis.
Are you saying he had a bad heart
and he took too much?
- There was nothing wrong with his heart.
- Nothing wrong?
- Nope.
- But heart medicine k*lled him?
Cause of death: ventricular arrhythmia
induced by massive overdose of digitalis.
The normal dose
is around one milligram.
We found a hell of a lot more than that -
about twice what it would take to k*ll him.
A milligram. How much is a milligram?
Couple of grains of salt.
Are you saying all it took to k*ll this man
was the equivalent
of a dozen or so grains of salt?
- That's close enough.
- How long did it take? I mean to k*ll him?
Quick. A minute, maybe two.
Hm.
- Any marks on his body?
- .
?!
Minor mutilations and dilapidations,
lesions, lacerations,
abrasions, incisions, contusions...
The man made action movies.
He did his own stunts.
But here, let me show you.
The only new wound we found was a gash
inside the mouth on the right cheek.
Here, take a look.
Any idea what caused that?
- Pre-death convulsions, maybe.
- Convulsions?
- Doc, can I make a copy of this report?
- Help yourself.
Oh, one more thing.
Doctor, that little white speck
that we found on the corner of his mouth
was about the size of a grain of salt.
- Was that digitalis?
- No.
- That was salt.
- Salt? Regular salt?
Yeah. You know,
that stuff you put on food.
But it says his stomach was empty -
he didn't eat since breakfast.
That's the last time he ate.
He had... . alcohol in his blood.
- He had a drink before he died?
- That's not all he had.
Does that mean what I think it means?
- You mean he was?
- Can you think of a better way to go?
- Yes, Lieutenant?
- Oh, I didn't expect to see you here.
- I thought you'd be at the office.
- What can I do for you?
Well, actually nothing.
My business is with Mrs Corman.
- May I ask what kind of business?
- It's rather personal, sir.
- If I could see her? Just take a minute.
- No, I'm sorry.
Mrs Corman is not feeling very well.
She's very upset over Adam's death.
Unless you think it's absolutely necessary.
Well, I'm afraid it is, sir.
(Subdued conversation)
Lieutenant, I'm Dr Horace Sherwin,
Lydia's father.
My daughter isn't well.
Whatever you came for will have to wait.
Look, I only have one question.
If I could just ask her that, then I'd leave.
- What is it you want to know?
- If Mr Evans dropped by last night.
I already answered that.
I told you he wasn't here.
Well, not quite, sir. You said not that
you know of, because you weren't here.
- Well, he wasn't here.
- Were you here, sir?
- No.
- Then how do you know?
- My daughter would've told me.
- Did you ask her?
I don't have to ask her.
Why don't you ask her? Do it privately.
You do it. Just tell me what she says.
- I just need an answer.
- I know. You're just doing your job.
Thank you, sir. I appreciate that.
Lieutenant, Adam Evans was not here.
Did she speak to him
on the telephone yesterday, sir?
No. She said no.
The telephone records
indicate that they spoke five times.
Five times?
There were five calls.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna have to mention it.
Er, Doctor? The phone records indicate
that your daughter
spoke to Mr Evans five times yesterday.
So what? The man died of a heart attack.
I'm afraid not, sir.
Mr Evans was m*rder*d.
- m*rder*d?
- Poisoned by some kind of medicine.
- Poisoned?!
- That's insane!
Lydia, this must be terrible for you.
I love you. I'll always love you.
That's why it's important I know
where he was last night, ma'am.
- Lydia, don't answer that.
- He was here.
Thank you, ma'am. Did he have a drink?
She's not answering any more questions.
You mean she can't say
whether he had a drink?
- She doesn't have to say a word!
- He did have a drink.
- Was it a margarita?
- Yes.
- I thought so.
- How did you know?
He had a grain of salt here on his lip,
and there was alcohol in his stomach.
The only drink I can think of
with those two ingredients is a margarita.
Where did he have it, ma'am?
In there.
Did you make the margarita, ma'am,
or did he?
- I did.
- I see.
He said I made the best margaritas
in the world.
- And this was the tequila?
- Yes.
- Was the bottle full when you opened it?
- Yes.
- This is the blender?
- Yes.
And what did you drink
the margaritas out of, ma'am?
Over there. The glass.
Oh, there's only one glass.
Did you share the drink, ma'am?
- No. I can't drink.
- I see.
So there was only one glass,
and this was it and it was his?
Yes.
I'd like to take these down to the lab
and have them examine 'em.
- Unless there's an objection?
- And what if there is?
Oh, I'm afraid
I'd have to get a court order, sir.
You don't really believe
you're gonna find poison in there?
I certainly hope not, sir.
Uh, ma'am? Your husband mentioned
you have a heart condition.
Do you take any medication for it?
- Yes.
- Is that it that I see in your hand?
May I see it?
Thank you very much. I don't think
I have to take up any more of your time.
I'll call the lab
and leave as soon as they get here.
Sorry to disturb you. I really hope
this is the last time I have to bother you.
From your mouth to God's ear,
Lieutenant.
Oh, one more question, ma'am.
After Mr Evans had his drink...
how much longer was he still here?
Just a few minutes
and then he was gone.
Gone.
(Man) Well, no poison
in the tequila bottle.
I'll have the results of the glass
in a minute.
So you pulled out your handkerchief
and it was full of blue blotches?
Yeah, all full of blue blotches. And there
were people there. It was embarrassing.
- I think you better check with your wife.
- I'm gonna do that.
Thank God it's only on the handkerchief.
But there was poison
in the glass and the blender.
There was poison
in the glass and the blender.
And Mrs Corman said
the bottle was full when she opened it.
- Ned, do you have a beaker?
- Yeah.
And full it contains millilitres.
- Are these markings millilitres?
- Right.
Well, that's about .
from , that's .
- How much is that in ounces?
- About four.
Four.
Hm.
- I'm gonna leave this here with you, Ned.
- All right.
- And thank you very much.
- Mm-hm.
- Nice shirt.
- Right.
(Muzak)
Can I help you?
(Softly) May I speak
to Dr Corman, please?
- Do you have an appointment?
- No, ma'am.
- Are you in pain?
- I'm not here to see him about my teeth.
- Why are you whispering?
- Police. Lieutenant Columbo.
I'm whispering
so I don't alarm the patients.
They look nervous enough already.
That's very thoughtful of you, Lieutenant.
Let me just check with the doctor.
- (Buzzer)
- Doctor? Doctor?
- Yes, Frances?
- Dr Corman, there's a Lieut...
(quieter) There's a
Lieutenant Columbo here to see you.
Send him in to my office.
- You can wait right in here, Lieutenant.
- Oh. Thank you very much, ma'am.
Oh, look at all these movie stars.
Look at this.
Dr Corman has many celebrities
among his clientele.
- Oh, Adam Evans.
- Yeah. What a shame.
- I just saw one of his pictures.
- Yeah?
Yeah. He was in a t*nk.
It was in the desert.
He come out of the t*nk, he had a big
Japanese sword. Did you see that one?
- No, I missed that one.
- Oh, it was good.
Poor man. He was so young.
He always lit up the place
when he came in for an appointment.
In fact, he was due in for some work
the very afternoon of the night he died.
- Oh, so you saw him a few days ago?
- No. He didn't come in.
- You mean he never showed up?
- Oh, no, Lieutenant.
Mr Evans was far too considerate
ever to be a no-show.
No, he called the doctor himself
to cancel.
Thank you, Frances.
I'll take it from here.
Sorry, I don't have much time.
I have a patient waiting.
I understand, sir. Just a couple
of questions - take a minute.
Er, the lab examined the tequila bottle,
the blender and the glass.
- And?
- And, uh, they found poison, sir.
Well, that's absurd.
The bottle was clean, but the residue
in the blender and the glass
was loaded with digitalis.
It's unbelievable.
That's the same medicine
that your wife takes - it that right, sir?
Yes. Are you suggesting
that my wife poisoned Adam Evans?
- Was anyone else there, sir?
- No, but I know that she didn't k*ll him.
Can you think of anyone else
who might've had a reason to k*ll him?
No, I can't, Lieutenant.
Adam was very well liked. I never heard
a bad word spoken about him.
Now, he ran around with a lot of women,
if that means anything.
Well, thank you, sir.
That could be very helpful.
I know you got a patient waiting.
Thank you very much.
I just wanna say before I go
that, boy, of all the cases,
this one, I'll tell ya, this is a mishmash.
You know, the fella takes that amount
of poison, how does he get in his car
and drive all the way up to Mulholland
ten miles away and then die?
Exactly what is it you're trying to say?
I don't know, sir. If he was poisoned
at your house and died there...
I mean, the body could've been moved.
Do you seriously think
that my wife k*lled Adam Evans,
drove him up to Mulholland Drive
and pushed his car over the cliff?!
- Oh, no, sir. And you wanna know why?
- Yes.
I don't see how
she could've moved such a big man
from the pool house to the car
without help.
Would you validate this for me, sir?
My parking ticket.
Sure.
- I'm in for .
- Yeah, me too.
- (Doorbell)
- Just a minute. All right, I'll raise it .
- (Doorbell)
- Coming.
Er, whatever you're selling,
we don't want any.
Oh, I'm not selling anything.
I'm from the police.
The police? We didn't call the police.
Anyone call the police?
- No way!
- Cut it short.
- May I come in, sir?
- Sure. But we didn't call the police.
- Were they here the night before last?
- Yeah.
- May I ask them some questions?
- Be my guest.
Thank you.
My name is Lieutenant Columbo.
Excuse me for interrupting your game.
I just wanna ask you a few questions
and I'll try to get out of your hair as...
- You Nancy Walker?
- That's right.
From the Rock Hudson show?
Nancy Walker?
- You got it.
- What are you doin' here?
- I'm playing cards.
- I'll be a monkey's uncle!
- Sit down, Lieutenant.
- Oh, well, thank you very much.
- It's nice to meet you.
- Well, it's nice to meet you, ma'am.
Wait till I tell my wife about this.
Yes, as I was saying,
I would like to establish the whereabouts
of Wesley Corman the night before last.
- He was here.
- He was here?
- What time did he get here?
- What time did Wesley get here?
Well, by the time I got here he was already
complaining that he was down $ , .
I got here at :
and he was already here.
(Man) Yeah, that's about right.
I know this gentleman here.
Is he somebody too? Huh?
- Oh, yeah. You bet.
- Where do I know this man from?
Not TV. Not in a while.
Lately it's been Bakersfield.
He's very big there.
He was in the Easter Day parade there.
He played Rumpelstiltskin.
He took it to new dramatic heights.
- On TV, on TV...
- I Love Lucy, that was his greatest hit.
I Love Lucy? No, no...
You mean the neighbour?
- That's right.
- No, the neighbour was a stouter fella.
- Yeah, that's Dom DeLuise.
- Dom DeLuise? No. I love Dom DeLuise.
But no, sir, you were... What was it?
I did Bewitched.
By gum, Bewitched.
You were wonderful on that show, sir.
That was on Tuesday night?
Could you get on with the questions?
We'd kinda like to finish our game.
Oh, absolutely, sir. I'm sorry.
OK. Forgive me.
So am I safe in saying he got here
between : , : , something like that?
That's right.
Why are you so interested in Wesley?
Is this a serious problem?
This is Ron Cey.
This is the baseball player.
- That's right.
- Who else is here?!
- (laughter)
- Lieutenant, the questions?
(As Jack Nicholson)
Yeah, speed it up, chief.
See, I got a date to dance with the devil
in the pale moonlight, know what I mean?
- Jack Nicholson.
- He knows! I love this guy! He knows!
- I think we should mention the phone call.
- What phone call was that, sir?
- The phone call from Lydia.
- Oh, Dr Corman's wife called?
She was hysterical. She was yelling,
"Help me. Heart attack. Please help."
- They all heard her.
- What was she saying?
- "Help me." Very agitated, very...
- About a heart attack?
Then what happened?
You were on the phone?
Yeah. I tried to calm her down
and I said, "Who is this?"
and she said, "Lydia Corman", and
that's when Wesley grabbed the phone.
Dr Corman grabbed the phone when
he heard it was his wife on the phone?
Right.
But she didn't ask for him,
she just said her name?
That's right.
And what did Dr Corman say
when he got on the phone?
He said, "Lydia, what's wrong?
What happened?"
That's it?
He shouted her name,
but I think she'd gotten off the phone.
- Then he left?
- Yes.
- He and David.
- Who's David?
David Sherwin. He's Wes's brother-in-law.
- Oh, Lydia's brother was here?
- Yeah.
He saw the look on Wes's face and, well,
he knew Lydia was having trouble again.
Was she in trouble often?
What do you mean by that?
Listen, if somebody made a film
of their marriage,
it would be called One Flew Over
the Cuckoo's Nest, Part .
Until two months ago, every time we had
a game she'd call twice in the evening.
Lieutenant, could you tell us
what this is all about?
I wish I knew, ma'am.
I wish I knew.
Well, thank you all
very much for your time.
Er... interesting group.
- David.
- Thanks, Wes.
- I'm worried about Lt Columbo.
- What about him?
First of all,
he knows the body was moved.
- What?
- But that's not the worst of it.
He found poison in Adam's glass
and the blender, but not the bottle.
And the poison was digitalis.
Digitalis.
What I'm worried about
is what happens
when he finds out what happened
seven years ago, and he will.
It's only a matter of time.
Now, I don't know
how the poison got into the glass,
but you can bet
that Columbo thinks Lydia put it in there.
I mean, how else would it have gotten in?
I think the best thing to do
is to put her where no one can find her.
- Like you did last time.
- But last time she was sick. Mentally ill.
Yeah. But so was the person
who put the poison in that glass.
(Phone rings)
Hello?
Yes.
Yes, David's here, Lieutenant.
It's o'clock.
All right. Barney's Beanery?
No, not Barney's Beanery. We'll meet you
at Club th Avenue in half an hour.
(#jazz fusion)
Thank you.
- What does he want to talk to me about?
- I don't know, David.
It might be better if I do the talking.
I won't say a word.
Don't worry, not a word.
Here he is. The raincoat.
Remember, he's a lot sharper
than he appears.
Sir? Sir?
- Your coat.
- My coat? Oh...
Thank you very much.
- David Sherwin.
- How do you do, sir?
- Evening, Lieutenant.
- Good evening. How are you?
You know,
I passed this place a hundred times
and I always thought, "I bet it's interesting.
I'd like to see it inside."
- Have you ever had that feeling?
- Yes.
So tonight I pull up,
guess who the valet parking guy is?
My wife's cousin.
- Really?
- You believe that? My wife's cousin.
- Small world.
- It is, isn't it?
And this poor guy, you know, he gambles.
He should talk to you, cos he never wins.
He had a bar, he lost it.
His wife left him. It's terrible.
To tell you the truth, I don't have
much sympathy for guys like that.
Right, sir... May I ask you something?
Your wife, sir, made five calls to the
victim on the afternoon of his death.
Do you know
what those calls were about?
Funny you ask. We were talking about that
with my father-in-law when you called.
- Really?
- Yeah.
The calls were about
a restaurant in Cannes.
- Five calls?
- Yeah.
You know, she forgot the name
of the place, she had to call him back,
they had a mutual friend somewhere,
could he pick her up some perfume
from Paris... that kind of thing.
I see.
Gentlemen, I'm gonna say something
to both of you.
I don't want you to take offence.
It's not gonna be easy for me to say.
You two have been
less than honest with me.
- I don't know what you mean.
- I was at John Valentine's tonight.
And I spoke to the poker players
and I know that your wife called,
and I know that she was hysterical -
something about a heart attack...
and I know you both ran home to help her.
How did you know
the game was at Valentine's?
From your answering service. You
left word where you could be reached.
Why did you conceal
that information from me?
- Tell him the truth, Wesley.
- We've got no other choice.
We moved the body, Lieutenant.
David and I moved the body.
- Right?
- Yes. We did it to protect Lydia.
I mean, I don't mean
there was something she'd done...
David, maybe I'd better explain.
Lieutenant, seven years ago
my wife's first husband
dropped dead in a Mexican hotel room
on their wedding night.
They were in bed,
they were making love,
and just like that he was gone.
Heart attack.
Lydia tried to save him.
She gave him some of her medicine,
which, as we both know,
can k*ll somebody
if they don't have
the same heart condition that she has.
You can understand
why she's taken Adam's death so hard.
I'd do anything to protect her from the
kind of t*rture she went through before.
So that's why you moved the body,
because you didn't want any connection
between your wife and the victim?
Yes. To tell you the truth, if it happened
all over again I'd do the exact same thing.
And I think you would, too.
Absolutely.
Well, I wanna thank you for your candour.
You know, up until tonight
this whole case was a total mishmash,
but now that you've said
what you've just said...
things are beginning to clear up.
Thank you very much.
- You're welcome.
- Thank you.
Beginning to clear up?
What did he mean?
Hard to say.
Uh, Mrs Corman?
Mrs Corman? Ma'am?
Yes?
- Are you all right, ma'am?
- What's happening?
I don't understand.
I... I don't understand about the poison.
Well, what about it, ma'am?
Well, Wesley told me that you found
poison in the margarita glass.
That's true.
But all I did was make a margarita.
I don't know anything about any poison.
Well, ma'am, there are two things
that we can't get around.
He died from digitalis
and there was digitalis in the glass.
Actually, there are three.
Can we go to the pool house?
Mr Evans did not die
up on Mulholland Drive.
He was dead
when the car went over the cliff.
He died here in the house,
probably right there on that couch.
And if you're wondering how I know,
ma'am, it was all in the autopsy report.
That you and Mr Evans were making love
shortly before he died.
And under those circumstances not many
women would call their husbands for help.
They would call ,
let the paramedics clean things up,
then call their husbands.
- Well, that's who I called. I called .
- You called ? Are you sure?
I'm not sure
of anything that happened that night,
but I am sure
I pressed the button, yes.
- On that phone?
- Yes, on that phone.
, emergency? Hello?
- Hello? .
- Sorry. Mistake.
What happened after your husband
and brother came here?
I don't know. All I remember is Adam
collapsing, then pressing the button.
- Are those your pills outside on the table?
- Yes.
"Take as directed."
- How many do you take a day, ma'am?
- I take two.
- Do you ever take more?
- No, never. They're much too dangerous.
This prescription for tablets
is dated days ago.
That means there should be left.
Hold out your hand, ma'am.
- Did you take one today?
- Yes.
Two, four, six, eight... ten.
Hm...
Any idea what happened
to the other nine pills, ma'am?
No.
You think I poisoned Adam,
don't you, Lieutenant?
It does look that way, doesn't it, ma'am?
Why is it?!
- What are you trying to do, k*ll it?
- Ah, the thing took my last quarter.
- Isn't there a number you can call?
- How? I haven't got a quarter.
- Oh, you want coffee? I'll buy.
- I wouldn't trust it.
Took my quarter.
I tried to tell you.
- See the morning paper?
- Only the ball scores.
Big story in the Adam Evans case...
that he was poisoned in some woman's
pool house and then moved.
- How did they hear about that?
- You mean it's true?
Yeah. But who tipped the paper off?
If it's true, how come
you haven't arrested this woman?
- Cos she didn't do it.
- She was the last person to see this guy.
She gave him the drink that k*lled him...
Who else could've done it?
- The husband.
- He was at a poker game four miles away.
- How do you think he managed it?
- If I knew that, I'd arrest him.
Well, lots of luck, Lieutenant.
I'll see you later, huh?
(Whistles casually)
You like the six horse in the fourth race?
What about the one horse?
No, I like him.
Oh. He's no good, huh?
You really like the six?
OK. Did you look at the five?
Oh, OK, then that's what we'll do.
Right. No, I'm leaving right now. I'll see
you out there at the top of the first race.
No, I'm leaving. Right.
I'll see you then. OK, bye-bye.
- Going to the track, huh?
- Oh, yeah. Big race today.
- Hey, you want a good horse?
- A horse?
- Yeah, a horse to bet on.
- To bet on? What's his name?
- Pinocchio.
- Pinocchio. Is he gonna win?
Guaranteed.
- Guaranteed? No kidding?
- The six horse, fourth race.
- You got a tip?
- I got a tip.
You got a tip? OK, baby, count me in.
Yes, sir. This is my lucky day.
Oh, sir, are you in a hurry?
Cos I can get my business done quick.
I'd appreciate it.
I wanna be there for the first race.
You got it, sir.
- Er, this Pinocchio, he's a boy horse?
- Oh, this Pinocchio's a girl.
Oh, a girl horse.
How's your luck running?
- Lieutenant, I'm in a bit of a hurry.
- I understand, sir. You got it.
You've got my money - that's why
I was worried how your luck was running.
- Oh, here's what I was looking for.
- Want me to validate that?
- Oh, this is not mine, sir.
- No, that's for the downstairs garage.
No, but you see the date?
It's three days ago.
This was the day Mr Evans died.
This was his parking ticket.
How do you know it's his?
Well, it matches the stub
that we found on his windshield.
Ah. Well, what about it?
Er... Sir, I didn't mean to bet the ten.
I was thinking two, maybe five.
What do you think?
Oh, I think you can go the five.
What about the ticket?
Well, it shows that he parked the car
down there at : .
What bothers me, sir, is you said
that he cancelled his appointment.
- Oh, he did.
- He did?
It's a big building - doctors, lawyers,
accountants... He could've seen anybody.
Oh. So he cancelled you...
and something more important came up.
Most likely.
Do you know
of any other ailment that he had?
If he saw another doctor,
I might check.
- Please, I have no idea why he was here.
- All right. Oh, what's this?
- It's a crown.
- A crown. What's it made of?
Uh, porcelain compound.
Porcelain?
Like in a teacup or a toilet bowl?
I don't know. I don't keep up with that
stuff. I never was any good at chemistry.
I put some glue on and pop 'em in,
that's about it.
- It looks just like a tooth.
- I gotta go. I gotta be there in minutes.
I understand. Good luck, Doc.
- Oh, sir?
- Yes?
Could I just have my $ change?
Ah...
I hope your luck keeps running good, sir.
You know, that has a way of changing.
Not mine. I'm on a roll.
I'll see you later.
(Race commentary)
Beaker's Pleasure clings on to the lead.
Grey Wonder is up alongside him.
Now they're neck and neck.
Beaker's Pleasure and Grey Wonder,
those two are stride for stride.
And gradually it's Grey Wonder up on the
outside, in front of Beaker's Pleasure,
and coming under the wire
it's Grey Wonder!
- Can I pick 'em, or what?
- Congratulations, bud.
I tell you, that jockey can't lose today.
Did you put the money on it? I told you to.
- Did Pinocchio win, Doc?
- No, he hasn't run yet.
Oh, good. I was afraid
I'd get here too late and miss it.
- How's your luck running?
- I'm on a hot streak, Lieutenant.
Great.
Do you think I could join you?
Oh, we're filled up here. Sorry.
Don't know what to say.
- Did you bet my money?
- I sure did.
Well, that's the important thing.
Well, I'll keep my fingers crossed, Doc.
- Excuse me.
- Excuse me. Excuse me.
Pardon me.
(Muted discussion of horses)
Things are goin' good, huh?
Going good, huh?
Very good. Lieutenant, we're working
on the next race. You'll have to excuse us.
(Fanfare)
Beautiful out here, isn't it?
- Yes, it is.
- Did you bet Pinocchio?
- What race is that?
- Doc, what race is Pinocchio?
- Four.
- Er, fourth.
- Did you bet him?
- I bet him, yeah. I got a tip.
This fella here next to me,
he's a dentist but he bets thousands.
No kidding?
Remember these, Doc?
You remember them?
I think those were planted
on Mr Evans's body.
Why would you say that?
I don't understand
how they got in his pocket.
I thought I explained it to you.
He must've picked them up at the house.
But what bothers me
is not a single match was used.
Now, whenever I borrow a match
it's because I wanna light my cigar.
Why would a guy pick up a book
of matches and not use a single match?
I imagine because he wanted
to use them later.
He had a completely filled lighter
in his pocket.
Lieutenant, it wasn't
Adam's first visit to the house.
He could've picked those matches up
at any time.
Well, I would buy that
if I found them in his jacket pocket,
but these were found in his shirt pocket.
And if he was anything like me,
he changed his shirt every day.
Uh-huh...
I see what you mean.
So I'm stuck. I don't know how they got
there unless somebody put 'em there.
I wish I could help you.
Well, don't worry about it.
If your horse wins, that's the important
thing. Then you've done your share.
No problem, Lieutenant.
Bet the winners. I always bet the winners.
Say, did you know
that in Mr Evans's car at the crash site
we found the gear shift in neutral?
Excuse me? This is my seat.
Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am.
- Did you know that. Doc?
- I didn't know that, Lieutenant.
Ah, hi.
It just seemed strange when I first saw it
that someone who crashed a car
during a fatal heart attack,
that he would put the gear into neutral.
- I know what you mean.
- I wonder if that was deliberate,
just to make sure the police wouldn't
simply write it off as a heart attack
and let it go at that.
Excuse me.
- That guy's a real pain in the butt.
- Yeah, you got that right.
- Let's get back to business.
- What about No. ?
Sir?
Sir... I didn't come here
because of my bet.
- You didn't?
- No. No, it was something else.
Um...
Sir, I assume you know what your wife
and Mr Evans were doing before he died?
Yes, Lieutenant, I do know.
You do know. I thought you did.
But you wanted to protect her anyway?
I still do.
You must love her very much.
She's got my number, Lieutenant.
Well, I got some very good news
to tell you about her.
I also have some not-so-good news.
Um, could we go somewhere
where we could talk?
Absolutely.
There are very few husbands
that would do what you did.
- You're very rare.
- I really had no choice.
- Why don't we just stand at the bar?
- Fine with me.
Would you care for a drink, sir?
You said you had good news
about my wife. I'd like to hear it.
She's innocent.
- She's what?
- She didn't do it.
- She didn't do it?
- No, sir.
Well, that's terrific!
That's great news. God, what a relief.
You're sure?
Absolutely.
Uh, Red? Would you have a minute?
I'm going to show you.
We know how much margarita was in the
blender because the residue left a mark.
- Would you do me a favour, sir?
- Yes, sir.
Would you fill that with water
right up to that mark?
- Just water, sir?
- Just water.
Believe it or not, I used to have red hair.
And this is the actual glass
that Evans drank the margarita from.
Uh, thank you very much.
Now let me show you something, sir.
This is gonna put your mind at rest.
Mr Evans drinks his first margarita.
Then he drank his second margarita.
And we know he had two margaritas.
How? Because the glass and the blender
were empty when we found them.
Problem: how did he drink
the second margarita?
Answer: he couldn't have.
Why not?
Because he would've been dead
after the first one.
According to the coroner,
the amount of poison in that glass,
he'd have been dead in a minute.
So what does this all mean?
It means there was no poison in
the blender when he drank the margarita.
None.
The poison was put in the glass
and the blender after he was dead.
The poison in the margarita didn't k*ll him.
Poison from someplace else k*lled him.
- Someplace else.
- Someplace else.
So your wife, she's in the clear.
- That's good news, right?
- Wonderful news, Lieutenant.
Just wonderful.
So what's the not-so-good news?
Well, that's a little complicated to explain.
Maybe I'd better show it to you.
Just take a minute.
Sir, did you know that the night
your wife called the poker game for help
that she dialled ,
but she didn't get ?
She got John Valentine's house.
Listen, if she got John's house,
she must've dialled John's number.
Well, she was having an affair
with another man...
it's a big question
as to whether she'd call her husband.
And she's sure
that she pressed the button.
Here's what I think happened.
Press the speakerphone,
now the button.
- (Woman) John Valentine's residence.
- That's what I think happened.
I think somebody
reprogrammed the button
so that it would ring
at John Valentine's house.
You found the button
programmed to ring John's number?
No, sir, but whoever changed it originally
was too clever to leave it that way.
And it only takes a second
to reprogramme it.
- Excellent work, Lieutenant.
- Thanks.
Excellent work. My goodness.
You've really spent some time on this.
Ah, yes, sir.
Interesting theory.
Should I call my lawyer?
- Well, that's up to you, sir.
- (Chuckles)
There's one thing that puzzles me.
Why don't you arrest me?
- That's a good question.
- That is a good question.
Red? A scotch for the lieutenant
and I'd like a glass of milk, please.
Yes, sir.
It's my lucky drink.
Lieutenant, I assume that when you said
you had bad news for my wife
that you meant that her husband
not only m*rder*d her lover
but was attempting
to frame her for the crime.
That is true, sir.
I also assume
that you've spoken to my in-laws,
and that they told you I was a leech,
that I lived off their money,
that I manipulated my wife
and they wanted to kick me out.
Yes, sir, I did.
You've found a terrific motive.
My wife ends up in prison or an asylum,
I look like a devoted husband and my
father-in-law would do anything for me.
It sounds right.
- You think that I m*rder*d Adam Evans.
- I do, sir.
Tell me... how did I do that?
I don't know, sir.
You don't know?
- That's a bit of a problem, isn't it?
- It is.
Thank you, Red.
Well, it's fortunate
I'm so good-natured, Lieutenant.
Somebody else might take offence.
Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna
go out there and root for our horse.
Now, you're welcome to join me, or, uh...
you could stay here and
try to figure it out.
I think I'll stay here, sir.
I thought you would.
I'll see you later, Lieutenant.
(Over PA) One of the outsiders, a
big outsider at - , is Pinocchio.
If you don't come to see me... you're
gonna have troubles. That's the way it is.
So, what's the problem?
It's this tooth here. It's k*lling me.
I think it's a cavity.
I'll do the diagnosing. Open.
Ooh! Whoa! That's beautiful!
Agh! What was that?
You got a big problem under that filling.
Gotta give you a new one.
- Today?
- Today.
- I was hoping we could do it another day.
- No.
- I only want some information.
- Oh! Information.
The man's tooth is on the verge of
abscess, all he wants is information.
I got a theory kicking around in my head
and I wanna talk to you about it.
Are things so bad downtown
that you can't afford a new shirt?
What's the matter with this shirt?
It's got all these blue splotches on it.
It looks terrible.
Oh, that. Laundry blueing.
You know what that is?
- No.
- You're better off than I am.
Laundry blueing...
I still don't know what I did wrong.
I put it in the laundry
and everything came out with blue spots.
Underwear, shirts, my handkerchiefs...
And they say the blue won't come out.
Open.
Hey, Doc, take it easy, will ya?
You think I enjoy this?
That's the trouble - nobody loves the dentist.
- Got any idea how that makes a guy feel?
- Try being a homicide detective.
Well, at least your wife and dog love you.
Last time I tried to clean my wife's teeth,
she bit me.
Open.
Come on. Up...
So, while you can still talk,
what's the information?
A guy goes to the dentist, say : .
Now it's ten o'clock at night
and he drops dead
from a lethal dose of quick-acting poison.
I think the dentist did it,
but I don't know how.
Boy, it's not bad enough we gotta be
dentists, now we gotta be murderers too.
So how would you do it?
Theoretically.
Theoretically?
I don't have any idea. Nah.
You wanna find out something like that,
you gotta talk to a better dentist than me.
Open.
(Drill)
- (David) And you believe it?
- (Horace) Of course.
A man like Columbo tells me my daughter
is no longer a suspect, I believe him.
No, you believe that Wesley did it?
(Horace) The lieutenant's sure of it.
He just doesn't know how.
I suspect Wesley was a lot more clever
than we gave him credit for.
- Fooled me.
- He fooled all of us.
- But now he's been found out.
- Found out?
That's right.
- The usual, Lieutenant?
- (Slurred) Nah.
I don't know what I want,
but I don't want the usual.
- Don't feel like eatin', huh?
- No.
I can understand that. Neither do I.
I've had this head cold for three days
and it's killin' me. You got a cold?
No, I was at the dentist
and the Novocaine is wearing off.
I think I bit my cheek.
I can feel something there.
And the tooth is starting to hurt and I
don't feel like eating, but I'm hungry.
Want a little advice? Go home, take
a good shot of whisky, get right into bed.
- (Sneezes)
- Oh, boy.
- Salud.
- Thank you.
Lieutenant? Lieutenant!
That was the happiest call I ever received.
I can't tell you how grateful I am.
And so is my son.
I can't thank you enough.
I am so relieved about Lydia, I...
(slurred) Well, the best way
you could thank me...
Is something wrong with your mouth?
I was at the dentist.
The Novocaine is wearing off.
The best way you could thank me
is if you could shed some light
on how this could've happened.
I know that Mr Evans was in your office
building at : on the day he died
from the parking stub.
I know he had an appointment
to fill his cavity.
And I don't care what Wesley says,
I believe that Evans
was in Wesley's office that lunchtime,
and that's when it happened.
If that's when he was poisoned,
that's when he would've died.
- There's no way round that.
- Well, that's our problem. Excuse me.
Fred?
Could I have a glass of water, please?
I have to take my pain pill,
cos it's starting to act up on me now.
Be careful of this ice
on your tooth there.
What'll you have?
May I recommend...
- (sneezes)
- Bless you.
- You ought to take something.
- Sounds awful.
I tried everything. I was in the market
the other day and I saw these things.
You know, all different colours...
Look like candy. Probably a marketing gimmick.
No, no, that's no gimmick. Each one
of those colours, they have a purpose.
See the beads here in the capsule?
Well, the red ones dissolve in one minute,
the yellows in ,
the greens in an hour,
the blues in four hours,
the whites in eight hours, and so on.
You've seen the commercial -
-hour cold pills.
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah, they're very common.
In fact, these pills here that your dentist
recommended, they're the same thing.
That's how he did it.
- What's that?
- He coated it.
He coated the digitalis
with a medical time-release gel.
And inserted it in a cavity.
Yeah, here are Mr Evans' x-rays.
And you picked up
the autopsy x-rays from the coroner?
- Yes, sir, I did.
- Well, let's have them and we'll find out.
Ah...
- Oh, I'm sorry, Lieutenant.
- What's the matter?
Well, Evans was coming in to have
a cavity filled in a lower-left bicuspid,
but according to the coroner's x-ray
it was never touched.
- Well, that's not possible.
- Here, look for yourself.
Well, that's crazy.
I know that's how he did it.
Lower-left bicuspid, huh?
Wait a second...
Gash...
Hold the phone, Doc. Gash...
Gash. Where did I write that?
Here it is. "Gash in the right cheek."
Not the left cheek, the right cheek.
Forget about the cavity, Doc.
What do you see...
on this side of the mouth?
(Woman) That's everything.
It's all in the report.
Lieutenant! Tell me what's going on.
I've got a dozen patients lined up.
They'll have to wait, sir -
maybe for a long time.
I told you that you m*rder*d Mr Evans.
I told you I'd get the proof. Now I got it.
You have, huh?
You k*lled him while he was in a dentist
chair on the afternoon of the day he died.
That's ridiculous.
You coated the digitalis with a medical gel
that would dissolve over a period of hours.
When it did, the poison seeped out,
it was absorbed through the gums
and into the system.
It's an absolutely lunatic theory!
I have to warn you, sir,
I've had Mr Evans's body exhumed.
We will find traces
of digitalis in his mouth,
and that, Dr Corman, will convict you.
Lieutenant? Whenever you're ready.
Dad?
These are x-rays taken in your office last
week, Dr Corman, of Adam Evans's teeth.
Do you think you could show me
where the cavity is?
Yes, Lieutenant.
Lower left, second-to-last molar.
- You see that black spot right there?
- Yes, sir.
Er, Dr Johnson, would you hold these?
And as you so aptly described it,
that is still a cavity.
I haven't touched it,
and I assume no one else has.
You know what the problem is? I went
to my dentist and he gave me Novocaine,
and the first thing you know, I bit the
inside of my cheek, without knowing it.
And you know something else?
Adam Evans did the same thing.
Nasty cut on the inside of his cheek.
But the trouble is, it's on the other side,
away from the cavity.
- You know what that says to me?
- No, I don't.
That says you put the poison
somewhere else in his mouth.
May I have those x-rays, Doctor?
Is that a crown, Dr Sherwin?
Excuse me.
- Dr Sherwin, is that a crown?
- Yes, it is.
- Is that a porcelain crown?
- That's correct.
Lieutenant, give it up. Even if the poison
had been put under the crown,
the body would've absorbed it by now.
You wouldn't find a trace.
But I'm not looking for
traces of digitalis.
You know what that is, Doc?
That's a chemistry set I had as a kid.
I gave it to my nephew last Christmas.
I tell you, that kid, he's a whiz at this.
Kinda takes after me, actually.
I was a terrific chemistry student
in high school.
Now, watch this.
You said it yourself, Doc - that you didn't
know a whole lot about chemistry,
that you didn't keep up with this stuff.
And that's where you made your mistake.
Because last night... I couldn't sleep.
I went over to the nephew's house
and I got this,
and I was up half the night
playing around with it,
and I made an interesting discovery.
Did you know
that just the tiniest bit of digitalis
will turn porcelain enamel blue
when catalysed by moisture
heated to body temperature?
- No, I didn't.
- You remember this? Porcelain crown?
I saw one like that
in your office the other day.
And in this envelope I have pure digitalis,
which Dr Johnson
was kind enough to give me.
And I'm gonna sprinkle this digitalis
onto this porcelain crown.
Now we heat some water. Not much.
Now I just wanna get this water
to approximately body temperature.
There, I think that ought to do it.
Eye dropper. Not much.
Now watch carefully.
You see that?
And you know what, Doc?
When we pull that porcelain crown from
the right side of Adam Evans's mouth,
you can bet your eye tooth that the
underside of it is gonna be stained blue.
You're through, Wesley.
It's a pity you were so weak in chemistry.
Dr Johnson,
hand me that extractor, please.
Thank you.
Forget it! Just forget it, will you?!
There's no need. Just leave it be.
(Sighs)
I couldn't believe it when Daddy told me.
You would've let me go to prison.
Or insane.
What I did is no worse than what
you and your father had planned for me.
All right, let's go.
Oh, man, are you bananas?
Let me see that thing.
Digitalis on porcelain?
That won't do a damn thing.
The only thing
that's gonna turn this crown blue
is something like
common, ordinary laundry blueing.
Kinda like that stuff
you got there on your shirt.
Laundry blueing...
Is that a fact?