03x11 - Feud for Thought

[bunniefuu]

Did you hear what
Samantha said in English?

She told me she liked
him. She likes him?

Hi. Yeah.

Hi.

Uh, this is my friend
Ashley. Hi, Ashley.

Hi. She's gonna study with me.

Yeah, we've got, like,

a really big history
test coming up.

Oh. Well, here, let me clear
this table and you can, like, use it.

No, it's OK. We decided
to study in my room.

Make sure you, like,
leave the door open, OK?

(phone rings)

Hello? Yes, it is.

Reunion? What reunion?

No, I never got an invitation.

I haven't lived
there in years.

Oh, gosh. It's next Saturday?

I don't know if I can
get it together that fast.

I have to make
hotel reservations,

plane reservations,
lose ten pounds...

Look, I'll tell you what. Can
I call you back tomorrow?

What's your number? OK.

Bye-bye.

Hi. Hi.

You will never guess
what I just found out.

My high-school reunion is
next Saturday in Washington.

Has it been years already?

. You know what?
I think I wanna go.

We just have to find
somebody to stay with the kids.

I'll stay.

No way! I went to your
reunion, you're going to mine.

You were miserable at my reunion.
You spent the whole night by yourself.

And why was that?
Because you and your friends

spent the whole night
mooning your old principal.

I think she enjoyed it.

You are going with me. I thought
you hated your high school.

I loved this high school.
I hated Joanie Graham.

Well, Joanie the phony could
be there. You wanna risk it?

I don't care if she is there.

She kept me away from
my high-school prom.

She's not gonna keep
me away from my reunion.

You know what? I
hope that she comes.

I hope she comes and
brings whatever-his-name-was.

Oh, yeah. The guy that
dumped you for her. Jack.

Jack.

I know his name was Jack. You
think I forgot his name was Jack?

Practically ruined
my whole senior year.

Everybody in the school knew that my best
friend was seeing my boyfriend, except me.

So you want to fly to DC to
be mocked and humiliated?

I could do that right here.

What do you think? Could
we put the kids in the middle?

What you got in this thing?

Clothes.

We're only going
to DC for two days.

And two nights.
That's four outfits.

And they said it might snow.

So what did you do, pack
a snow shovel and a plow?

No. A parka and boots.

I'm not gonna walk in
the slush in my high heels.

(thud) What you got in there?

My essentials.

The makeup, the night
cream, the day cream,

the concealer, the cotton
balls, magnifying mirror...

Why don't you just airmail
the whole bathroom...

Oh! (thud)

I wish I could.

There's a big difference
between men and women.

Look what you're
taking - the Godzilla bag.

And I got this.

Between this and what I got on, I
got everything I need, including...

a suit.

You have a whole suit
squished into that little pouch?

Yeah, and I got a
necktie in there somehow.

I don't know about
this. It's wrinkle-free.

You hang it up, couple hours
- boom, the wrinkles are gone.

It's made out of
space-age woven polyester.

(doorbell rings)

Hi, Al. Hi, Jill. I
hope I'm not late.

Hey, Tim. How are
you? What's in the bag?

You're only staying here
two days. And two nights.

I bought cupcakes
for dessert, if that's OK.

Oh, thank you, and thank you for giving
up your weekend to stay with our kids.

No, no, it's my pleasure.

Where are the plane tickets?

I thought you had 'em.

I hope I didn't jam 'em in
that little wrinkle-free suit bag.

No, up on my dresser. (groans)

OK, Al, I've got a few
instructions for you here.

Mark has a birthday party to go to tomorrow
at the ice rink. This is the address.

He's a little bit nervous 'cause
he hasn't skated in about a year.

Brad has a girlfriend,
Ashley, coming over to study.

Make sure that he studies
his books and not her.

Now, Randy still has a little
bronchitis. Do not let him go outside.

Make sure he takes
all this medicine.

One teaspoon of
cough syrup twice a day,

one teaspoon of
antibiotic three times a day.

This has to live
in the refrigerator.

Now, if his cough turns into a wheeze,
kind of like a little whistly sound,

discontinue the cough syrup and give him
two puffs of this inhaler four times a day.

Unless it's like a big whistle, and then
you should call the doctor, and then me.

I gave you all... the doctor's number,
pharmacy number, hotel number

and our flight
numbers right here.

Tim, do you have
any instructions for Al?

Don't let anybody
touch my tools.

So, you'll be with us for...
two nights? Yeah, that's right.

I hope while you're in our nation's capital
you'll have time to do some sightseeing.

(imitating his deep voice)
Well, we certainly will attempt it.

We're gonna try to make
it to the Smithsonian.

Ooh, excellent choice. You
know, it's home to Old Glory

and the desk Thomas Jefferson used
to draft the Declaration of Independence.

That's great. We're hoping to see
Don Garlits' Funny Car, "Swamp Rat."

I'm afraid your
room's not quite ready.

But if you'd like, we
can hold your bags

and you can check in
with the reunion committee.

OK. Good.

I just need your
credit card. OK.

Jill?

Jill Patterson, give me an "A,"

give me a "D," give
me an "A, M, S."

Adams! Adams! You're the best!

Yes! Oh...!

It's gonna be a
very long weekend.

It is so good to see
you, Jill. Oh, you too.

I have absolutely
no idea who you are.

Leslie Morrison.

We were co-captains of
the cheerleading squad.

You look fabulous!

Not that you didn't
look fabulous before,

but you just look even
more fabulous now.

It's because of my
nose. I got a new one.

Oh, it's a beauty!

Oh, oh. Tim, this is Leslie
Morrison. This is my husband Tim.

Nose to meet you. I mean...

Nice honker.

I'll have to catch
up with you later, Jill.

OK. All right. Bye-bye.
Nice to meet you.

We'll see you later.

Oh, no. She's here. Who?

Joanie Graham,
the boyfriend stealer.

What are you doing? I
don't want her to see me.

Well, honey... I
thought you didn't care.

I didn't think I did, until I
saw her little weasely face.

Now I just want to get
out of here and go home.

All right. I'll call a
cab, get the bags.

Tim! I came all this
way to see my friends.

Are you just gonna let me leave?

That's what you
just asked me to do.

Well, what I want you
to do is be supportive.

How do you want me
to do that? Just shut up!

Jill?

Joanie!

I am so happy to see
you. How are you?

I'm fine. I am really
glad you came.

It's just been such a long
time. Yeah, really a long time.

They just told us that we have to
check in at the reunion committee.

Maybe we'll see you around a
little bit later. OK. Well, I hope so,

'cause I'd really love to sit and
talk with you about some things.

Oh, hey, hey. Not necessary.
It's water under the bridge.

Who comes to a reunion
to talk about the past?

Well, Jill...

I mean, we did go
through a lot together.

Well, yeah, but... that was,
like, years ago, you know?

I mean, I don't even remember the
name of the guy that came between us.

Jack.

It was Jack.

It'll be about five
minutes more. OK.

If you're so mad at Joanie, why did
you tell her everything was all right?

I don't want to give her the satisfaction
of knowing that it still bothers me.

Wait a minute.
Come here, sit down.

You didn't want to come
here, but you came here.

You want me to support
you, you want me to shut up.

You hate her, but you want
her to still think you like her.

Exactly. (groans)

I'll tell you what. If this were two
guys, it'd be over years ago.

We'd have rolled up our sleeves, broke
each other's noses, had a couple of beers.

Tim, the reason I never resolved things
with Joanie was because I was just...

so hurt by what she did to me.

My family moved around so much.
Joanie was the first girlfriend I ever had.

And she... betrayed me.

It took me a long time to trust
anybody after that. Honey...

Betrayed you? She didn't even
have the nerve to tell me herself.

I had to hear it from
Alice the crossing guard.

Look, it was high school. It was
a long time ago. People change.

I know. Believe it
or not, in high school,

I was obnoxious.

So you think that I should
just forgive and forget? Yes.

Forgive and forget.
It was years ago.

The way I look at it,
Joanie did you a big favor.

How's that? Well, she married
Jack, who's probably fat and bald,

and you ended up marrying
the manliest man in Michigan.

That's true. Yeah.

We'll have a good time.

Jack.

Jill!

Went up the hill.

You look great! So
do you. Really great.

Oh, Jack, this is
my husband, um...

Tim.

Nice to meet you.
Good to meet you, Jack.

It's great to see you. All
Joanie talked about on the plane

was Jill this, Jill that.

Boy, that's funny. That's all Jill
talked about - Joanie this, Joanie that.

We'd love to stay and
talk, but we have to go

get our room, so
maybe we'll see you later.

OK, great. Nice meeting
you. Good to meet you.

You were attracted to that?

I'm sorry, but you promised me
you were gonna keep the door open.

The wind blew it shut. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, right. All those big
gusts coming in from the bathroom?

I don't think so.

All right, come on. Ashley,
you sit right over here.

Bradley, you sit... No, Randy,
no. No cookies before dinner.

My ankles hurt. I can't do this.

Are you remembering to glide?

Al, I'm bored. How about
I just go out for a minute?

No. No, Randy. Remember
what your mother said.

I'm not going to
the stupid party.

Look, you're doing great.
Come on. You know?

There's gonna be pizza
there and party favors.

You know, I remember
my first pizza/skating party.

I was . Al! I'm
not doing this.

Glide. (clomping)

All right, come on, you
guys, back to your corners.

You haven't even cracked a book.
What are you reading? Let's go.

(beeping) Aw, gee.

Randy, it's time for
your antibiotics. Randy?

Randy!

Randy, what are you doing?

Al, I've been stuck in
the house for five days.

I know, but your bronchitis is
gonna flare up. Let's go inside.

Come on. Let's go. Randy!

Al, what happened to
you? You used to be so cool.

Now you're like
Mom with a beard.

Well, I'm still cool.

That's not funny.

Randy, you open this door. What?

Brad, Ashley, would
you...? Open this door!

Open this door this moment!

All right, OK, so... Mark! Brad!

Come on, you guys, it's
cold out here. Come on.

Let's go. Open this door.
I'm not kidding around!

Problems, temporary Taylor dad?

Oh, hi, Wilson. Hi-ho.

Listen, Wilson. You wouldn't happen
to have any extra keys, would you?

Yes, indeedy. Great.

Matter of fact, I have
a whole Taylor packet.

Tim leaves it with me for
all the different baby-sitters.

Here we go. We got some
Band-Aids, some gauze,

handcuff keys...

Here we go. House
keys. Thank you, Wilson.

Those boys are...
they're a handful.

They are a puckish
band of rapscallions.

You know, Wilson...

I always pictured
myself getting married

and having a bustling
houseful of kids.

Boy, I'm starting to reconsider.

Well, Al, I wouldn't write
off parenthood entirely.

When you start off with a
baby, you're a baby as a parent.

Then as the children grow
up, the parent grows too,

so that hopefully, when adolescence
is reached, you're both ready for it.

That's a wonderful
thought, Wilson.

Well, being a bachelor, it's
easy to come up with these things.

But I wouldn't
worry about it, Al.

I suspect that someday
you'll make an excellent parent.

You really think I'd
make a good parent?

Certainly. I've seen the
way you take care of Tim.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It doesn't look that bad.

You might as well
have worn your pajamas.

Stop, stop, stop.

You're makin' it worse.

Why...

Why did you wait so long
to take it out of the pouch?

It'll be OK if you just
leave it alone, all right?

Needs air. It just needs to
breathe. It needs to breathe.

It looks like it needs CPR.

Hi, Linda.

(Jill gasps)

That's my old Spanish
teacher, Mrs. Grabowski.

Accent the word "old."

Little Julie Patterson?

Oh, it's Jill. Sí.
¿Cómo está usted?

Oh, it's so nice to see
you. En español, por favor.

Oh, um... Señora Grabowski. Sí.

Yo estoy bueno.

Este es mi bozo, Tim.

Esposo. Oh, yeah. Esposo.

Hola, Tim.

Uh... fajita chimichanga.

Oh, Chris Keller!
¿Cómo está usted?

Jill, Tim, I hope
you don't mind.

We had 'em make a switch so
we could sit at the same table.

(with false enthusiasm)
The same table.

We were gonna just
take our food to go.

I'm being supportive.
No, it's OK. Let's sit.

Hi. I'd like to welcome the Class
of Adams High to the...

(feedback)

Uh, we seem to be experiencing
some technical difficulties.

(feedback)

Jack. You said
you fixed this thing.

I thought I got the
kinks out of that thing.

Um... don't mind me,
but you probably have

a ground-loop problem
between the amp and mixer.

You know about this
stuff? Yeah, a little bit.

Check it out with
me? I could do that.

Thanks. Jack needs some help.

It's OK. Go ahead. Excuse me.

Everyone just have a good time.

Jack thinks he's so handy, but basically
he screws up everything he touches.

It must be awful to be
married to a man like that.

So...

So...

You look really great. Really.

You too. Really great.

So, um... where are
you living now? Detroit.

I work for a magazine there.
Great. We're in San Francisco.

Tim seems... he seems very nice.

Suit in a pouch?

Exactly.

How long have you been married?

Oh. Um... almost years.

And the sparks are still there.

Do you have any kids?
Yeah, we have three boys.

Three... Oh, my... Do you have
pictures? I would love to see them.

OK. Um...

Let's see. There.

(gasps) Oh, they're so cute!
Look at them! They're darling!

Who's the guy behind the
fence? You can't see his face.

Oh, that's Wilson.
That's our neighbor.

They're just adorable.
Um, these are mine.

Oh, she is beautiful. Thank you.

Gosh. They seem so grown-up.

Yeah, uh... Katie is
and Jack Junior... is .

?

Yeah. Uh... when we graduated...

What? I was two months pregnant.

I... I don't know what to say. I just can't
believe that I never heard about that.

Jill, nobody ever
heard about that.

We never meant for
it to happen that way.

Jack and I fell in love and I
never knew how to tell you.

Well, yeah.

I mean, I can see how it would
have been hard to call me and say,

"Guess what. I'm in love with your
boyfriend and I'm having his baby."

I never could find that
appropriate greeting card.

Ouch!

This must have been
just awful for you.

I wish that you
would have told me.

How... You wouldn't even
talk... How could I tell you?

You were so angry about Jack.

You were furious,
remember? Yes, I was, I was.

I was very angry about Jack.

But I think...

No, I know that I would
have been there for you.

I really loved you.

You were my best friend.

Please. Some best friend.
I took your boyfriend away.

As bad as that felt,

in the long run it felt
worse... losing you.

You know, I've wanted to
call you, like, a thousand times.

I wish that you would
have. I really missed you.

I missed you too.

No cause for alarm,

but I think we'll have to exit
the building quasi-quickly.

Este move-a-butt-a-now-a!
Go. Back door. ¡Fuego!

Thank you for coming. It turned
out to be such a great night.

Well, the best part is that you
and Joanie are friends again.

And you know what? When I was at the fire
department with Jack, we got to talking.

He's a terrific guy.
Yeah, I always thought so.

Let me ask you a question.

If Joanie hadn't stolen him out from
under you, would you have married him?

No, I don't think so.

I like being the good-looking
one in the relationship.

(director) Five,
four, three, two...

(Brad) Al, we weren't doing
anything. (Al) No, I'm... Ooh.

You catch something?
(Ashley) I don't know.

I got caught in
that. (Brad) Clear.

(director) Here we go. OK, guys?