06x02 - The Doubtful Doctor

[bunniefuu]

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

And welcome to
Alfred Hitchcock Presents.

Before we show you tonight story,

we shall have a commercial.

I hope the manner in which my
picture jumps about the screen

doesn't confuse you.

I had a small disagreement
with our cameraman.

Fortunately being the producer

I have the last word.

In this case that word is...

h...e...l...p.

But you say you
feel all right now.

Of course I do, doctor. But...

I felt all right after
the other time too.

Oh, this other time
you mentioned...

you say that started
out the same way?

The same way.

I was just a kid at the time.

I didn't think much about it.

But now that it is
happening again, I...

Yes, I understand how you feel.

Now... suppose you tell
me about this last time.

Well the... the day
that it happened...

it was as if the powers-that-be
had had a meeting

and decided it would
be fun to drive me nuts.

It started out with a half
cooked eggs, burnt toast

and then as I was taking
Rosemary from her mother.

She dribbled on my tie
so I had to change that.

When I got to the office,

my secretary had picked this day

to tell me that she was
leaving to get married.

Then Lucille called and said
Rosemary had swallowed a button,

and right after that...

Well, it was that kind of a day.

I didn't have much
hope for the evening.

As it turned out...

it was worse than the day.

Ralph?

Yeah, it's me.

But you, where have you been?

Did you forget what night this is?

Never mind about that.
What about the button?

What button?

The button. The one that
Rosemary swallowed.

Oh, that button.
I found it in the crib.

Well, you might have call me back.

I'm sorry.

The Hornsby's.

They'll be here at : .

Now, Ralph.
Please don't act like that.

Listen, I got a very difficult day.

When the laundry came

instead of bringing me the good
tablecloth I wanted to use tonight,

they brought me a
man shirt instead.

Oh, and mother called.

She said Jack will need about
to close that uptown option.

Lucille, we just gave your brother
to close the downtown option.

Well, I know it.

Why so touchy about
money all of a sudden?

It's not all of a sudden.
And it's not just the money.

Things seem to be closing in.
That's all.

Must you drink before you shower?

Yes. I must.

It's been a bad day, honey.

Lucille.
Where are you going?

I've got to go to the kitchen.
I've got things going there.

You'll feel better after you shower.

Oh, I forgot to tell you.

A man called just
before you came in.

What did he want?

He wants $ .

Why does he want $ ?

Well he represents the tenants
opposing the raise in our rent.

He says we're gonna
fight it through the courts

if it costs us a million dollars.

Hoo-rah.

Ralph.

Yeah?

There's a magazine
on the armchair table.

What about it?

It's open to a page
I want you to look at.

Are you looking at it?

Yes. I'm looking at it.

Ralph, I wish we had a house
just like the couple in that article.

You know, if we ever
have a second baby,

that would be the house to have.

If we ever have a second baby,

I am going to cut myself
a knotty oak stick.

I will take one pair of socks

a toothbrush and wrap
them up in a red bandanna.

I will put on an old pair of pants

attach my little bundle
to that knotty oak stick

and take off for the
wide open spaces.

I will take either a Northerly
or a Southerly direction

because I wouldn't want the
Pacific Ocean to get in my way.

That is not funny.

That is the best I can do
after a long hard day.

Well, I suppose you'll
be saying next

you're sorry you married me.

Well, I will say that life was
less complicated two years ago.

I was living peacefully
in a furnished apartment.

I had fewer problems.

- Is that so?
- Yes, that's so.

It was a simple carefree life.

Oh, Ralph, if you want out
of this marriage, just say so.

Bargain's a bargain.

Well...

If that's the way you feel about it,

I just want you to know that

I can have my old job back at
Eagle Soap anytime I want.

Lucille.

At just what moment it
happened, I don't know.

I remember vaguely getting up,

leaving the apartment,

waiting for the elevator.

It came and I entered it.

And the next thing I knew,
I was sitting down.

I remember feeling cold.

It was shivering.

The surroundings were familiar.

Apparently, I left home and gone
back to my bachelor apartment.

When I went to the window,

I saw a light snow
had fallen outside.

Snow in July?

It was real snow all right.

I couldn't understand any of it.

For example, why were my
clothes, all my old cast-offs

hanging in the
closet looking new?

My old b*at-up desk was there.

So was my calendar.

And I looked at the
month and the date.

I began to understand this
wasn't the same day at all.

It was a day two
and a half years ago.

Hello! Come right
in, Mr. Treadwell.

What can I do for you?

Hello yourself and you know
exactly what you can do for me.

You can pay your rent.

Rent?

Oh, oh yeah.
I remember now.

I guess I am in arrears.

You know very well you're
two months behind.

Well, thanks for reminding me,

but I can assure you it
won't be that way for long.

Well, I'm certainly
glad to hear that.

Big things are going to
happen to me, Mr. Treadwell.

You know that little office
that I have uptown?

In a couple of months time, I'm going
into partnership with Ted Parkinson.

We're going to knock
through a wall, expand,

become a really big
advertising agency.

That's very interesting, I'm sure.

And then, I'm getting married.

The rent, Mr. Jones.
That's all I'm interested in.

Now either you pay
up or you go out.

January st.
Is that clear?

All right.

I'll get it for you.

I wouldn't worry about
it if I were you.

I'm not, Mr. Jones.
Believe me.

I didn't like what was happening.

Then I remember Lucille.

And how I got into the habit of
talking things over with her.

If this was two and
a half years ago,

I'd find her at the
Eagle Soap Company.

In fact, it was the promise
of an account at Eagle Soap

that had first led me to Lucille.

She was a secretary there.

Yes?

Hello, honey.

Remember me?

Well, the words are familiar.
But the face is strange.

Stop. Wait a minute.

It's all right to kid around with
strangers but I'm different.

I'm the man in your life.

Did you come up here
on business? So... what?

Certainly, I'm up
here on business.

I want to see Mr. McKraken.

He's going to give
me a nice account.

Mr. McKraken is out of town.

Oh, no, he's not out of town.

About an hour, he's going to
sign a big contract with me.

And I'm going to come out here and
talk you into a luncheon engagement.

Well, that is impossible.

Mr. McKraken won't be
back for two weeks,

and I am not going
to lunch with you.

I don't even know your name.

That isn't the way
it really happened.

You've got to have lunch with me.

I'm Ralph.

I'll call Mr. Cedric.

I don't think he's doing
anything before lunch.

Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Now, I know this sounds funny,

but you and I...

we're going to get married.

You're right.

That's very funny.

Now look, Lucille.

I'm Ralph.
You don't seem to understand.

I am Ralph Jones, and we're supposed
to get married about three months time.

It was a short courtship.

Lucille, you'd better
warm up a little.

I'm going to call Mr. Cedric.
Maybe you can stall him out.

Lucille. Quit fooling around.

Now a joke is a joke.
But this has just gone far enough.

I'm taking you out to lunch
and no nonsense about it.

Well, Mr. Jones. I am definitely
not going out to lunch with you.

Is that clear?

And furthermore, I just wish
you get yourself out of here.

I've had a very
rugged morning as it is.

And this isn't funny any longer.

But you have to have
lunch with me.

No, I don't.

Goodbye.

Lucille.

Well, if it isn't the man
with the original approach.

Don't you ever give up?

Lucille. Listen to me.

Does the name Rosemary
mean anything to you?

No, I'm afraid not.

Well, it will. It's going be
the name of our first child.

Now just a minute, please.

The minute I saw you, I knew
we are made for each other.

Tell me what did you do
right up to the time

they took you away
to the mental clinic?

- Now look, Lucille.
- No. Let me go.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Will you please just
have lunch with me?

Would you listen to
me for a minute?

- I can't.
- I promise,

I promise I won't embarrass you.

I promise.

How after I explained how things are...

I'll never bother you again.

Well, I... I don't think
it would do any good.

I just want to take you to Cavenders.
That's where I took you the first time.

I even remember
what you had for lunch.

You had broiled salmon
and creamed asparagus.

Mr. Jones.

It's easy to see
what your problem is.

It's simply a case of
mistaken identity.

I've never eaten
Cavenders in my life

and if I had, I certainly wouldn't
have ordered broiled salmon.

I detest it.

All right. I can see that some
things just aren't the same.

If you don't like salmon,
we'll order something else.

Well, all right.

But I can't spend all day.

Thank you.
I'll find a cab.

So you see not only
do I know you, but...

Well, I've been married to you
for over two and a half years.

And we have a little girl
named Rosemary.

But you said we quarrelled
now and then.

Oh, no, no, no. Not very often.

Well, this one night we did.

And suddenly I found myself
back in my old apartment.

And two years were just...
wiped away.

That must have been
quite a surprise.

You're not kidding.

But what am I supposed to do?

Unless you agree to
return my affection,

how will we ever get back
to where we started?

Well, let's be perfectly
honest about this thing.

Let's admit that it's definitely
a medical problem.

You don't think it's true.

Well, let me put it this way.

I think you're being
absolutely sincere.

But I think it's also obvious
you had some kind of a shock.

Well, you ought to try waking up
to a day two and a half years ago.

Well, I think you ought
to see a doctor.

Preferably a psychiatrist.

And I think you ought
to tell him everything.

- Lucille.
- No, I'm serious.

Lucille, you don't seem
to understand.

I love you.
Can't you see that?

Please, you promised
not to embarrass me.

All right.

But, Lucille, if you had one
little spark of warmth in you,

you'd remember our life together.

You'd remember the time that...
we got caught in the rain,

and we had to spend the
night in the loggers cabin.

Well... you at least remember
the night that Rosemary was born?

I went with you myself
in the taxi cab.

Oh, please, don't
say those things.

They're just part of your delusion.

No, they're not.

If you want know the truth,

think your case is
worse than mine.

My case?
What are you talking about?

Well, at least I know who I am.

I remember our life together.

You don't seem to remember
anything and what's more,

I can prove that I
know a lot about you.

Prove it. How?

About halfway up
on your left shoulder,

you have a very fetching...

mole.

Well, I am very sorry
for you, young man,

but my lunch hour
is just about up.

Well, all right.

Oh, just a minute.

Uh... Jimmy.

We're trying to settle a bet.

I've been in here quite a
few times with Mrs. Jones.

You remember her, don't you?

A lot of people eat with us.

I don't recall ever
seeing you before.

Guess you're a
little mixed up, sir.

I dropped Lucille at
the Soap Company.

And I went for a walk
to think things over.

I could remember two lives.

One that went the
way things should.

And one that didn't.

The second time around look like
it was going to be real grim.

All I had was a couple dollars
and some change.

I thought of going
to the office, but...

I just couldn't face seeing it the
way it was before Ted join me.

Looking at the site of the home
that would now never be mine.

I wanted Lucille in the worst way.

Both Lucille and Rosemary.

I wouldn't even care if
Rosemary dribbled on my tie.

- It's your ball?
- Yes, it is.

Good catch.

Who are you?

Just a man.
Man without a home.

What's your name?

Ralph. What's yours?

Sydney.

What are you doing?

I'm just sitting here.

May I have a catch?

No, thanks.

Where are you going?

Well, that is a good question.
I'm sorry I can't answer it.

You know how to catch?

Sure. I played lots of ball
when I was a kid like you.

Going fishing maybe?

Not today.

Nobody ever fishes here.

Like to fish?

I haven't fished for years.

Here you go, Sydney.

You go buy yourself a yacht.

I won't need this
where I'm going.

Oh, no. My mom says never
take nothing from a stranger.

But I'll tell you what.

I'll say these your cards.

Eddie Matthews. Gil Hodges.

Duke Snider.

That's a deal.

Gee. Thanks, Mister.

What are you gonna do now?

Drown myself.

Oh! Well, so long.

The water was ice cold,

but strangely I found
I could still breathe.

When I opened my eyes,

I found myself in
our shower stall.

Ralph?

I've been calling you.
Didn't you hear me?

No.

It's almost : .

Was I in there long?

I thought you're
never coming out.

- Lucille.
- What?

Lucille.

Do you remember me?

Unfortunately, yes.

I love you.

What?
You must be out of your head.

In fact, I love everybody.

I must phone mother
and tell I love her.

I even love your brother Jack.

I will write him a check
for his uptown option

the minute I get to my office.

I wish there were about million
more people in the world,

so I can love them too.

What happened to you?

You weren't so loving
before that shower.

You just forget about that.
I wasn't myself.

Lucille, you remember the first
time we had lunch at Cavenders?

Of course.

What did you order?

Broiled salmon and
cream asparagus.

Hmm... good girl.

Hello, Nick?
Yeah, I'm Mr. Jones.

Look, Nick. I would like three
dozen long-stemmed roses.

I don't care if it is December.
I like it... hmm?

Oh, no. I was just kidding.

I'd like three dozen of something...

gorgeous... for the missus.

And put a card in
the box, saying...

Forever Yours, Ralph.

Mmm?

Oh, no... yes.
That's all. Thanks, Nick.

You must have a guilty
conscience or something.

Well, if I have, it's making
me feel real good.

Maybe better than I ever
have in my entire life.

And there something else.

I knew there was a catch
in there someplace.

No, no catch.

I just wanted to tell you that
if you would like to go ahead

and have a couple of twins,

it would be fine with me.

And that's how it was.

I can't tell you
how relieved I was

to find myself back home
with little Rosemary,

and a wife who remembered me.

I can imagine, Mr. Jones.

But then I got to thinking
about this... aberration.

You know, this is the second time
that this has happened to me.

That first time was
when you were little boy.

Well, I was in my second
year of high school.

We were in final exam time.

And you were worried.

Just as you were worried
this time about finances

and the pressure of
your responsibilities.

It was your anxiety...

and the resultant
inner conflict that

temporarily freed you
from your rational self.

You looked at the playpen

and then you fled from reality

into a world of fantasy
that your mind created.

You trying to tell me that all
I had was... a day dream?

Believe me, Mr. Jones.
You never left the apartment.

You only imagined you did.

But it was so real.

Of course, it was real.

Reverie such as you experienced are
often so vivid, they do seem real.

I see.

Now you must be more open about
your problems and your feelings,

work to reduce your tensions.

Then this won't happen again.

Now, why don't you just forget it?

Doctor, I would.

Except for one thing.

Yes, what is that?

Well,

I found these in my
pocket this morning.

Now as you can see
they're still damp.

As though they'd
been in the water.

Gil Hodges, Eddie Mathews,
Duke Snider.

Those are the baseball cards
that kid named Sydney sold me.

I thought that cameraman would
never stop spinning me about.

I missed the whole story.

Now you are upside down.

Well, here is some in the
trip put you on your feet

after which I should
drop in on you again.

That is quite enough for tonight.

First the blood rush to my head

and now my head seems
to be rushing some place.

Next week, we shall return
with more commercials

a new story and a
new camera man.

Until then, good night.