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02x10 - The Feast of the Epiphany

Posted: 04/20/22 15:01
by bunniefuu
NORA: Previously on
Brothers & Sisters...

Tommy's not making you work, is he?

She's with me.

Would you like to have
a glass of champagne with me?

Why, I'd love to. Thank you.

You slept with Lena, Tommy. I know.

Tommy's a hypocrite and a liar.

Oh, you found out about Lena?

How do you know about Lena?

Lena was sleeping with Tommy.

Graham has quite a reputation
for growing mid-size companies.

I really want to have a baby.

Well, you really want this, too,
don't you?

Yes.

KITTY: Daniel Cole said that

he could prove that Robert
wasn't the hero

that everybody thinks he is.

This is quite an operation.

Why don't you tell me
why you're really here?

Maybe I'm not over Jason,
but I am getting there.

Robert's campaign
is about to take a serious hit.

MINISTER: I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Adamson's lead continues
to grow over Senator McCallister.

(PHONE RINGING)

ISAAC: Hello?

Hi, it's Nora Walker. Kitty's mother.

Oh, hello. How are you?

I'm fine.

Actually, I was looking for Kitty,

and she doesn't seem to
be answering her phone,

and I found your number in
this contact sheet that she left here.

So, how are you?

- Me?
- Yeah.

How is it being back
on the campaign trail full-time?

- Are you having fun?
- Fun is not exactly what I'd call it.

No, of course not.

Did you know that Adamson is
calling Robert "Senator McWaffler"

every time they put a camera
in front of his face?

It is so damn unfair.

Presidential politics and fairness,
kind of like oil and water.

Excuse me, is there something urgent
you want me to tell Kitty?

Tell her, please, that I miss her.

Oh, yeah. You can tell her in person.

We're gonna be in California tomorrow.

We got a fundraiser downtown
at the Jonathan Club.

Really?

I'm having a big family dinner
on Saturday. Why don't you join us?

Okay. That sounds great.

There's gotta be a way to
stop the bleeding.

- Nora, I gotta run.
- ROBERT: I'm down four points in...

- I hope you understand.
- Absolutely. I've gotta run, too.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Well, just keep scheduling
television appearances

and make sure that everybody hears
your side of the story.

- That's all we can do.
- No, I have already done

Meet the Press, This Week,

and they still keep calling me
"Senator McWaffler."

We should've just stayed in
the honeymoon suite in Hawaii.

Sorry, guys, but the honeymoon's over.

This campaign has been running
on fumes for the past two weeks.

The ground you staked out
as a strong, decisive leader

has been eroded with
this helicopter story.

It's time for a Hail Mary.

You want to save this campaign?

We need a town hall meeting,
covered live,

no script, no vetted questions.

- Are you crazy?
- No, no, no. That's insane.

- Who would be the audience?
- Veterans. Party affiliation, irrelevant.

So when and where exactly are you
planning on tanking this campaign?

There's a veterans group in LA

that's been hounding us
for the last four weeks.

You can't put Robert
in front of a hostile audience

and just let him sh**t from the hip.

Why not? If the voters don't think
I can handle the pressure,

I gotta show them that I can.

Oh, come on.
Don't tell me you're for this?

- I don't have a choice.
- No, Robert, this is a big risk.

- It's a huge risk.
- You either face this head on,

or we pack up and go home.

- Make it happen.
- ISAAC: Kitty, your mother called.

She wants to have us for dinner
when we're in town.

Us?

- Thanks, Bob.
- Okay.

(HUMMING)

- Kitty's coming home this weekend.
- God, Mom!

You know it's kind of appropriate
to say hello when you walk into a room.

Hello. So, I invited Kitty, Robert,
and Isaac to a family dinner.

The brothers are all ditching me.

And why is it I never see my children
all together anymore?

Especially not Tommy and Justin.
They're like Superman and Clark Kent.

Well, Mom, the brothers
are pretty busy at the moment.

Maybe this isn't the best time to have
the big classic Walker dinner party.

What? Is something going on
you're not telling me about?

No. No, no, no. I'm just saying
why do we all have to be there?

- What's the big deal?
- Oh, I don't know.

Remember when you wanted
to skateboard in the driveway

with Bobby Lampert, and you were
too nervous to be alone with him,

so I pretended to clean out the garage?

What are you saying, Mother?

You're too nervous to have
a play date with Isaac?

No. No, you know, you're my family.

I love you, I miss you.
I want you around me.

I'm proud of you. I want to show you off.

Oh, my God, you are.

- What?
- You are totally into him.

"Into him"? What? That's like
high school. No, we're grown-ups.

We've had some lovely
conversations at the wedding...

You've always had a thing
for Republicans.

You know what?
He's not a "Republican" Republican.

He's a self-reliant,
historically-sensitive,

"Get the job done yourself"
kind of Republican.

And he's interesting.
He's very interesting.

He's a widower.
He has five kids and six grandkids.

And I just want my family...
All right. I'm into him. God.

What, that makes me pathetic, right?

- No, Mother! No, it makes you cute.
- I don't...

- That's worse. I hate...
- And human. And you have a crush.

- I don't. No.
- We'll all be there...

- All right.
...with bells on, okay?

Thank you.

(TAUNTINGLY)
Mom's hot for a Republican.

Sarah! Sarah, stop it!

- Mom's hot for a Republican.
- Stop it!

(SARAH WHISTLING)

Stop!

SARAH: Coffee break.

- Bad time?
- Yeah. No.

A little. Look at this. It's from Jason.

- You're still e-mailing your ex?
- I e-mailed him once after the wedding.

You know, a very standard,

"I'm sorry we broke up," you know,
"I still care about you" e-mail.

He e-mails back a very un-standard,
"I'm coming home."

- Oh, my God!
- I know. He wants to have lunch.

- When?
- I don't know. He's being so vague.

Are you gonna tell Scotty?

- Why would I do that?
- You should.

He almost broke up with me
after the wedding

- 'cause he's afraid I'm still into Jason.
- Well, are you?

Well, who made you my conscience?
What are you, Jiminy Cricket?

Well, you know, maybe
you need a conscience.

Well, all the men in this family could do
with a little cricket on their shoulder.

What do you mean, "all the men"?

- Nothing.
- Which men?

- Justin? Tommy? Saul? Who?
- I don't know anything.

- Do you?
- No. Maybe.

Maybe, what?

(SIGHING)

- Tommy had an affair.
- With Lena.

- You knew?
- For weeks.

- Who told you?
- Rebecca. And you?

- Saul figured it out.
- Can you believe Tommy?

- Well, after Julia left him, yeah.
- What, you're defending him?

Okay, we're so not arguing about this.

Fine, you're right, about us not arguing,
not about Tommy being justified.

- Okay, fine. I'll drop it.
- Good.

The thing is that Mom knows
something's going on

between Justin and Tommy.

They're acting all weird
with each other,

and now she's got this big dinner this
Saturday, and she wants us all there.

Can you talk to them?

Just tell them all they've got to do
is turn up, eat, and act normal.

No! Why do I have to be involved?

Because I'm not supposed
to know anything,

and I've done a miraculous job
of keeping my mouth shut.

Please, will you talk to them?

- Yeah, I'll talk to them.
- Thank you.

But... Oh, come on! "Normal"?
What am I, a miracle worker?

Wow, five times.

Yeah, my mom's been married
five times.

Too bad she makes a sucky wife.

But, yeah, now she's just living
with some guy.

You know, hoping that he'll propose.

- Sounds like a country-western song.
- Yeah, well, what do you call it

when you're sleeping with
your brother's mistress?

Ex-mistress.

And I would say this,
you know, it's like R&B.

Like a little rhythm and blues,
you know?

Yeah, it's the blues part
I'm worried about.

What's wrong?
You're not enjoying this?

Yeah.

But

I just feel weird sometimes. Don't you?

No.

I don't care what you were with Tommy.
I mean that.

I mean, you know, he was...
He was the one that was married.

He made the mistake.

Then, why is it that we're telling
everybody that we broke up?

Not that I, you know,
want anybody to find out or anything,

but, seriously, what are we doing?

We're having fun, you know?
I mean, it's just us here.

It's easy and it's uncomplicated.

And, yeah, you know, Lena, the second
you open that door, it gets messy.

But you know what?

I like what we have here. Don't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

As long as we keep the doors locked.

I'll dead-bolt the thing for God's sakes.

DAVID: You know, there were boats and
ships and smoke and snow and blood,

and your mother comes riding in
on a horse, which is scary anyway,

but she breaks the sword
over her knee...

What was she wearing?

- A Viking dress, you know?
- No.

Yeah, no, no.
So, then she takes half the sword

and she hands it to her comrade,

and she goes off to fight
the Saxons or the Angles...

We were fighting the Jutes
from Jutland.

Mom! Hey.

I designed the Viking dress myself.

What are you doing here?

I really liked seeing you
a couple weeks ago.

I thought maybe you were
gonna call me.

REBECCA: Wait, Mom, how have
I never seen this movie?

It sounds like the most amazing
kitsch-fest ever.

Oh, no, it was kitsch, I'll give you that.

Yeah, well, it was Queens, New York,
for Europe in the Middle Ages.

What do you expect?

You remember you wore
that costume to Studio ?

Wait, wait. My mother went to
Studio in a Viking dress?

The dress was the only reason
we got in.

Mom, I'm so embarrassed
for you right now.

You know, I like swapping w*r stories
as much as any other Viking warrior,

but I have work to do.

It was very nice meeting you, Rebecca.

Wait, wait. We're just...
We're just getting warmed up.

Bye, David.

Next time you come by I want to see
that movie. I want to see it really badly.

Okay.

- She's wonderful.
- Bye.

(DOOR CLOSING)

- Wow. You want to fill me in?
- No.

I don't know how I'm gonna stand up
in front of a bunch of veterans

and try to explain something
I'm not sure I can explain to myself.

Well, honey, you know what?
You just have to...

You just have to be honest.
You just have to tell the truth.

And you know what?
I think that sometime before we die,

I'd really like to have...

- Have sex?
- Yes.

Yeah, that'd be great.

- 'Cause I really want to start trying...
- New positions?

No. Having a baby.

Yeah, I'm sorry.
I've just been so exhausted.

It's okay, but just remember

that politics isn't our only
time-sensitive issue.

Oh, we gotta go. We can't talk
right now. We gotta get that plane.

Kitty.

I love you.

Well, I love you, too.

Come on, go, go.

Not that I don't love thumbing
through gay porn...

I'm sorry, male clothing catalog,
but what am I doing here, bro?

Be nice or I'll put you
on the mailing list.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

Wait. Don't tell me that's Scott.
You didn't give him a key?

Wow, you really have
commitment issues.

What was so important it...
Oh, no way. Nice try.

- This is ridiculous.
- No.

- You know what? I'm out of here.
- Kev...

Okay, okay.

Why don't the two of you
just think of me as your attorney?

Let me mediate a little temporary truce

between the two of you
for both your sakes.

- I don't trust him.
- You know what? Screw you, bro.

You brought this on yourself.

KEVIN: Okay, the thing is,
it's so simple!

Mom's really into this guy Isaac, okay?

And she thinks as a family we'll make
a good impression. Deluded, I know.

But if she wants us to go over
to the house and have dinner,

that's what we have to do.
You want to know why?

She is inches away from the truth
about you two and Lena.

It's like chum in the water for her.

She can smell the blood
and she's circling.

You're working on your marriage, right?

- Yeah.
- Great.

Your relationship with Lena,
it's over, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay, great.

Then it's all in the past.

Mom needn't ever know how much of
a disappointment you both actually are.

Unless that's what you want.

- I'll go.
- Good.

- Yeah, whatever.
- Perfect. Case dismissed.

Ladies and gentlemen,
Senator Robert McCallister.

(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)

Thank you.

I see there's already a line
at the microphone,

so why don't we just begin? Hello.

Private First Class John Jimpson, sir.

I just rotated back from Iraq
a couple of months ago.

- Welcome home.
- Thank you, sir.

I've read a description of
what happened that day.

All due respect, you were prepared to
abandon those men on the ground.

Am I right?

ROBERT: I know there's been a lot of...

How's he doing?

... on what happened, but I stand by...

It's not off to a very good start.

- I had to make a choice...
- ISAAC: Just be patient.

...between saving my men on the
helicopter or those men on the ground,

and, at that moment, the only thing
that I knew for certain

was I could save my guys
in the chopper.

Senator, what I'm wondering is

why didn't you admit the truth
before the logs were released?

Why did you claim credit for a rescue
you didn't want to attempt?

Well, first of all,
I didn't take credit for it.

But you're absolutely right,

my silence accomplished
the same thing.

The truth is, I didn't know
how to explain to the world

and, more importantly,
the families of the men who died...

I'm nervous. I'm so excited.

I haven't been this excited
since Laura Stuno and I

won the Freshman Future CEO Club
Regional Mock Investment trophy.

Well, that sounds fun. So, what did
you do to celebrate that triumph?

Oh, God!
We went to the Cyclone Bar and Grill

where we got horribly drunk,
and I think I ended up dancing on...

You don't want to hear that story.

- I kind of do, actually.
- No, you don't.

- Yeah.
- Promise.

- Because I can't go there.
- Okay.

Well, then that means you and I
can have dinner, then, huh?

You mean a working dinner?

Yeah.

Well, I mean, you gotta eat.

Indeed I do, but I'm more than
capable of eating by myself.

Yeah, that's so boring. Don't you think?

- Can I ask you something?
- sh**t.

What's the longest relationship
you've ever been in?

Okay. I have no idea
where this is going. Six years.

Did you ever cheat? Don't lie.

- Uh, no.
- No?

Well, I mean...

Of course, technically speaking,
it depends on how you define cheating.

See, is it too much to ask

that when two people commit to
each other that nobody ever strays?

Shouldn't we love and respect our
husbands, wives, whatever,

enough that we would want to
spare them from that kind of hurt?

That'd be really nice.

Of course, our kind and considerate
natures don't always win out, do they?

So, what about you?

You ever cheat? Ever?

- Me?
- Yeah.

Cheat? No.

No, never. Never in years
of marriage did I ever.

- Uh-huh.
- What?

- Why are you laughing? I didn't.
- Come on.

You say, "No," but I think there's
something you're not telling me.

It's okay. You know why? Because
I'm going to start playing hard to get.

So, as much as you may want to,
I'm not having dinner with you.

ROBERT: and in those seconds,
I remember

- arguing with my co-pilot.
- KITTY: We shouldn't have done this.

I remember the RPG hitting
and us starting to go down.

And when I regained consciousness,

my co-pilot was dead
in the seat next to me.

Some of you have been there.

And it is just

unimaginable.

In that moment, I didn't think.

I didn't regret, or mourn,
or weigh my options.

I did what any one of you
would have done.

I tried to save my men.

And I didn't think what I did was heroic,

and, after the w*r,
I just wanted to forget.

And then, ironically, by not talking
I was called a hero,

a distinction that I never asked for.

My name's Brad.

- Yes.
- Bottom line is you froze,

and the world is too dangerous a place
for us to elect a president

who freezes under pressure.

Fair enough.

I froze

for seconds.

I was years old.

I'm not gonna make that mistake again.

I believe that I am ready
to lead this country.

w*r tests our humanity,

and sometimes we don't have
the luxury of choosing

between good and bad,
only between bad and worse.

That's w*r.

And we need to support
the men and women

who are making those
kind of decisions every day.

- You're a genius.
- Hey, your boy's not so bad either.

Hey, Mom.

Hi.

Would you bring back
a couple of bottles of wine?

- I want to cook you a dinner.
- What's the occasion?

I invited David over
for dinner tomorrow.

Oh...

Mom, since I've been home,
all you do is work,

and you seem Ionely.

It's true. And then... And you're the one
that's always telling me to go out

- and meet friends and all that.
- I am not Ionely.

And David...

My history with him is complicated.

Mom, everything with you
is complicated.

- Why draw the line now?
- Oh, Rebecca, give it a rest.

Well, so, what, is he a serial k*ller?
You guys grifters?

I wish.

Mom, there is so much
you never told me.

I like hearing about your past.

So, what's the worst
that could happen?

He comes over, I get to hear
more embarrassing stories

- about your wild youth, and I'll cook.
- Okay, okay.

Fine. I will bring down some Cabernet.

You know, I am happy to tell you
about my past,

but my relationship with David...

There is no future.

You got favorable response
for the most part.

- The most part?
- Well, what you said

played great in the hall,

and you got an internal bump
in our polls,

- but not the bump we hoped for.
- Will it hold?

I don't know.
At least we're not taking on water.

Hey, Adamson's live on TV.

I just don't buy the Senator's
"reluctant hero" shtick.

The only thing he's reluctant
to do is tell the...

It's time to change the story
on the front page.

Isaac, I know where
you're headed with this.

- Okay, then, we start writing...
- ROBERT: This is off-limits.

...your concession speech.

Guys, can we have the room

- for a minute, please?
- All right, what's going on?

Governor Adamson has a son.

And three daughters, and a wife.

And I have an uncle named Bob.
What are we talking about here?

Adamson has
a developmentally disabled son.

He's been in a private
treatment facility since birth,

and Adamson has never publicly
recognized him.

How long have you guys
been sitting on this?

That guy's record for special education
and persons with disabilities is...

It's atrocious.

- It's the height of hypocrisy.
- I know. I know,

but I am not gonna use his kids.

Okay, well, what about the kids who
aren't getting the services they need?

Isaac, would you like to weigh in here?

What Kitty is saying is that
this is personal for me.

I have a special needs son.

And in my opinion,
Adamson has done a disservice

to his own son and to his constituency.

Adamson's campaign is hitting you
hard and they're telling lies about you.

At least the information
that we have is true.

I appreciate all of your opinions,

but I've told you a million times,
I will not win playing dirty.

The answer's no.

I can't believe
I have to go to this tonight.

- How could Tommy be so stupid?
- Oh, please, let's not judge.

I mean, we're accidentally
living together.

If Jason were to come home tomorrow,
I'd be back in my Ranchero.

Why... Why would you think
Jason's coming...

Why would you be back
in your Ranchero?

I was kidding.

Come on, cut your brother some slack.
No one's perfect.

Well, you know, try and be the perfect
family for some Republican operative

my mom has the hots for.
It's making me a little nervous.

You keep saying he's a Republican.

I'm far more impressed
she might be dating a black man.

A black Republican. Only my mom.

You know what?
Let's just blow this thing off. Really.

I've got a ton of paperwork.

Maybe you should delegate more.
What about Lena?

- She's busy enough.
- Well, you can work on it tomorrow.

We promised your mom,
and we already paid the babysitter.

I know, I...

Something going on
between you and Justin?

Is that why you don't want to go?

He never calls. Come on, I'm not blind.

Why don't you just tell me what it is?

Look, he said some things
when we were there at his detox,

and I'm just sick of his crap.
He needs to grow up.

Well, he's not gonna grow up
between now and dinner.

Let's just go and try
to have a good time.

Yeah, try.

Oh, dear.

Don't stir the rice!

Mom said it won't toast
at the bottom if you stir it.

Mom wants to toast the rice?

Yes, apparently it's the most important
part of paella.

So, I'm gonna take the spoon.
No stirring?

Okay.

But when is she coming down?
Because this doesn't smell right,

and I don't want to get blamed
for toasty rice.

I don't know. She's putting her dress on
and she's doing her hair or something.

- What's burning?
- The rice.

Do you know anything about paella?

No. All I know is, "The rain in Spain
stays mainly in the plain."

- Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, no stirring!
- Okay, I...

Sarah, put the spoon down. Kevin...
I give up.

Fine! Okay. It's Mom's dinner, anyway.
I'm going to do garlic bread.

- Where's Scotty?
- He had to work.

You guys, like, never see each other.

- You're not in a relationship, right?
- No.

So don't criticize people who are.

Kevin, I'm sorry. I was just trying
to feel your pain. I'm not criticizing you.

I'm just a little stressed right now,
okay? I'm sorry.

A little dark.

JULIA: Hi, guys!
SARAH: Hi!

- JUSTIN: Hey!
- Guys.

- Hey.
- SARAH: How are you doing?

Hey. Hi. Hey, Justin.

Hey. How are you?
How are you doing?

Good, good. Right, Tommy?

- Yeah, we're great.
- Hi.

- JUSTIN: How are you?
- Where's Mom?

She's upstairs getting ready for Isaac.

I can't believe we have to actually
be here for her dates now.

Well, she chaperoned your
senior prom, so be nice.

KITTY: Hello, everybody.

- Hey, how did it go?
- Well, you know, exhausting.

- How are the polls?
- Well, they're not so good.

They're not so good,
but we're not giving up.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Don't mind him, he's...

What, running for president?

Hello, hello, hello, hello!

(ALL EX CLAIMING)

Oh, come on, now. Come on.

Robert, get off the phone.
I don't care who you're talking to.

Oh, there's the rice.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

- Oh, there's Isaac.
- I'll get it.

No, you get the rice,
and I'll get the door.

And everyone, listen,

I would really appreciate it if you would
be on your best behavior tonight.

You understand?

So, I'm gonna get the door.

Okay.

Hey, I'd like to make a toast.
I'd like to make a toast.

Being on the road,
you can't help but miss family,

but tonight has been
a sight for sore eyes.

And the truth is, this is exactly
like my dining room table,

except that you're all white.

Look, to a perfect paella and to Nora...

- Thank you.
...and to her wonderful family.

- Cheers!
- Cheers! Thank you.

Hold on, hold it. Wait, wait, wait.
I would like to make a toast, too.

To Robert and his campaign.

Something I thought I would never do,
but what you said to the veterans today

was so moving,
and so extraordinarily honest.

I know a lot of people appreciated it.

- I know I did. Thanks, bro.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.

And let's hope that Adamson guy
will leave you alone.

I appreciate the support, but I don't
think he's gonna leave me alone.

Yeah, well, the truth is
we could totally shut him up,

but we're not allowed to play
by the same rules that he does.

- What?
- What's that supposed to mean?

It means nothing. Kitty, we're...

Do you have something on Adamson?

- Come on. You can tell us.
- Okay.

Hey, Kitty. Robert's right.

All right, well, I'm not gonna tell them
anything specific,

but, hypothetically, say you know
the truth about something,

but by saying it you could potentially
seriously hurt someone,

would you do it?

I knew it. Adamson's gay.

No. No, he is not gay.
Not all Republicans are gay.

You know, personally, I don't think
the truth is worth knowing

if someone's gonna get hurt.

KEVIN: Why not?

JULIA: I just don't see
what you accomplish.

SARAH: Well, I wouldn't gossip about it,

but if I was the person who was doing
something that was hurting someone,

I'd hope that I'd be big enough
to tell them the truth myself.

TOMMY: Really?
Because I'm with Julia on this one.

Why cause pain if you don't have to?

Because if you don't face the truth,
Tommy, you don't move forward.

You don't grow.

- I mean, take my marriage for example.
- TOMMY: Yeah, your marriage, exactly.

Had you not found out about that
one kiss between Joe and Rebecca,

you'd still be in your marriage.

- True, but...
- Yeah, but then it would be a lie.

- SARAH: Exactly. Thank you.
- And now you sound like Dad.

Would you shut up, all right?

I'm not Dad, I never was,
I never will be, just stop! No!

He's always going on
with this Dad thing.

Family!


I really don't think Isaac wants
to hear all of this.

So, let's just stick to politics.

Please, Nora, this is a million times
more fun than politics,

and I'm not even following it.

KITTY: Well, unfortunately,
the business that we are in is politics.

We are in the business of politics,

so if you have an opportunity to win,
you should take it.

I mean, obviously, personal
relationships, you shouldn't lie.

I don't lie to Robert,
Robert doesn't lie to me, right?

No.

I mean, unless I absolutely have to.
I'm kidding.

Look, I mean, obviously,
you can have your convenient,

you know, misunderstandings, but...

- What are you trying to say, Robert?
- Nothing, nothing.

We never lie to each other.
That is a no-brainer.

I thought we were having
a philosophical, theoretical discussion

- about a campaign...
- KITTY: We were.

- We changed the subject.
...that had information...

I'm gonna go get some more wine.

Maybe you would like
to help me, Robert.

Is everything all right?

I'm gonna go help with the wine.

KITTY: You know, if you have
something to tell me, just say it.

I mean, I stopped our wedding
in the middle of the vows

just so as not to tell you a lie.

And if you have something...

- Okay, a lie... So just...
...to say to me, please just say it.

If two people aren't exactly on
the same page, does that make it a lie?

Well, yes, if you're not telling me
what it is.

What if I was too scared
to talk about it?

You have never been scared
of anything in your life.

All right, for example, what if...

What?

Not having a baby now?

What?

Are you telling me that
you don't want to have children?

No. I'm just saying that clearly
we are not coming at it

in exactly the same way.

You've got to be kidding me.

I mean, you knew that
I wanted children.

- That was plainly on the table.
- Okay, the timing is less than perfect.

I barely have enough time to parent
the children that I already have,

and I'm just saying it's something
that we should discuss.

We have discussed it, Robert!
I don't have time to discuss it.

- ROBERT: I get it.
- Time is of the essence.

I have to get down to business.

KEVIN: (WHISPERING)
What are you guys whispering about?

We're not whispering! We're just
having a conversation. It's nothing.

No, no. It's not nothing. It's not nothing.
Robert doesn't want to have children.

Wow. A little late for
that kind of information.

Wait. Since we're being honest here,

does your boyfriend know that
my brother's coming back

and you guys are having lunch?

- That's none of your business.
- What is going on in here?

Sarah, guess what?
Robert doesn't want to have children.

I never said that!
I said that I am ambivalent...

- Keep your voice down!
...about the timing,

and that's different.

- Not to me, but I'm a lawyer.
- I'm with him.

Guys, what's going on?
Mom's freaking out.

We're supposed to be
impressing Isaac.

You know what?
I don't need to impress Isaac.

No, the thing is, Kitty,
that Mom likes him.

- Like, really likes him.
- Mom has a crush on Isaac?

- That's gross.
- Yeah, she does,

and if he breaks her heart, I'll sue him.

Him? What about you?
You're about to drag my brother back

into your psycho,
melodramatic romantic...

- "Psycho, melodramatic"?
- Jason's coming back from Malaysia?

He's already having a date with him!

It's not a date! Okay? We agreed
to meet for lunch so we can talk.

You know what? I'm allowed to.
I'm single.

I can change my mind if I want to.
Not that I would, okay?

So get off my case.
I'm not the one who's married.

- What does that mean?
- What is that supposed to mean?

- Kevin.
- Nothing.

Come on. We can't keep it
to ourselves any longer.

- What?
- KEVIN: Yes, we can. Shut up.

- No, what? What?
- KEVIN: Shut up. Shut...

- No, no, Sarah.
- KITTY: What?

Tommy had an affair with Lena.

- Who's Lena?
- God, when?

- Right up until Julia came back.
- God, does Julia know?

- No.
- No. No.

- You know, I never liked that girl, Lena.
- What did Lena do?

No, she's a homewrecker.
She's just like Holly.

Don't blame her.
If you're gonna blame anyone,

blame Tommy and Dad, all right?
They have families at home, not Lena.

SARAH: Oh, come on! That is
the most confused moral reasoning,

and your opinion doesn't count
because you slept with Lena, too.

I'm still sleeping with her, okay?

So I'd appreciate it
if we could stop bashing her, okay?

You said you dumped her.

NORA: So, your family must
just miss you terribly.

ISAAC: Well, especially Max, my Lab.

He's staying at my sister's, you know,
until Bob becomes president.

Oh, Labs. I love...
We had a Lab, didn't we, Tommy?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, Bingo.

NORA: Yeah, Bingo.

ISAAC: You know what they say
in Washington?

- What?
- "If you want a friend, get a dog."

That's...

Where is everyone? This is ridiculous.

- Yeah, I'm gonna go check.
- Thank you.

Tell them we're having dinner in here.
They might want to join us.

- I'll go with him.
- No. Julia, sit. No.

So, Max is a Lab.
Is he Republican, too?

No, he depends totally on me,

which obviously makes him
a Democrat.

- Well, how long you here for?
- For a year.

I traded my loft in SoHo
for this beach bungalow in Venice.

You have a loft now?

- Yes, I do.
- Oh, I'm impressed.

When your mom and I made
the Viking epic...

REBECCA: Oh, my.

...we stayed in this little tiny apartment
in Brooklyn.

Please tell me you brought a copy.

- Oh, come on. I'll k*ll you.
- lf you... If you have a...

- lf you have a Beta.
- What?

Thank God you didn't
transfer it to DVD.

- I want to see it.
- You know what?

It's a little bit like pulling out
the junior high yearbook.

It sounds like a great idea
until you actually see it.

All right, fine. I'll drop it.

So, how long were you guys together?

- We were...
- It was on again, off again.

Mostly off.

And when was the last time
you saw each other?

Becca, this is not Questions.

Mom, I'm just asking.
I just want to know.

I don't remember. Were we with Perry?

No, it was New Year's Eve.

Right, we had just wrapped Asylum.

Mom, tell me that you didn't star
in a slasher flick.

No, I did not star in it.

- I was victim number four.
- Oh, God.

Then why did... Why did you break up?

God. That was a long time ago.
I can't remember.

We were busy and lost touch.

That's when you met William.

Right.

That's my father.

This conversation
is beginning to age me.

Could we just talk about
something else, please?

This pasta is delicious.

Mom wanted us to be
this mythical family tonight.

I invited Justin and Tommy
'cause she was getting suspicious.

Don't talk about me like I'm not here.
I'm right next to you.

Yeah, so am I.

Suspicious of what?

You know what, Tommy?
I don't even know what to say to you.

Then don't say anything, Kitty,
all right?

I am trying to save my marriage.
Lena was a mistake. I know...

Tommy?

Why was Lena a mistake?

What is it? Tell me.

Not here, honey. We should...
We should go.

Are you all deliberately trying
to embarrass me?

We're sitting out there all by ourselves!
Come on. Please, please.

All of you just march back
in there right now.

- Come on. Come...
- Mom, something came up.

- We have to go.
- No, no, no, no.

You're not going anywhere
unless your house is on fire.

No, it's fine. I don't need to go.

Come on, Nora.
Let's go back to the table.

Let's go back to the table. Come on.

I really do love dogs.

The only reason we never got
another one after Bingo...

Bingo was his name.

Bingo was his name!

Well, he was hit by a car.

- ISAAC: Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Yes.

So we just...
We just never got another one.

Julia? Oh, sweetheart. Are you...

Oh, I didn't mean to upset you.

Bingo really has been gone
a very long time.

It's not about Bingo, Nora.

- Honey, we should... We should go.
- No, no.

- Julia, are you all right?
- It's not just that you slept with Lena.

- Julia.
- Who... Who slept with Lena?

- You don't want to know, Mom.
- Tommy?

- What?
- I should've seen it coming.

I can't believe we're having
this conversation.

You can't just sit there and cry.
Yell at him or hit him.

- I'll come over there and hit him.
- I can't.

- Yes, you can.
- I can't.

I did it, too. I slept with someone.

- You what?
- You slept with someone else, too?

- I'm sorry, we should go.
- What is the matter with you two?

Maybe we should just clear the table.

No, don't clear the table!
Just put the dishes down.

Just put the dishes down and go,
all right?

Thank you for coming.
The dinner is over.

(BLACK LADDER PLA YIN G)

Dinner wasn't as bad
as I thought it was gonna be.

Good. That's good. I'm not horrible.
It's a compliment.

Well, what do you expect?

My memory of you
isn't exactly a pretty picture.

Well, I'm a lot older and wiser now.

I haven't done coke for a long time.
That probably helps.

Goodbye, David.

Okay, you're going to have
to explain to Rebecca why I left

before she got back with the ice cream.

- Why am I leaving? I forgot.
- Because I'm kicking you out.

I don't trust you, David.

You still haven't told me why
you suddenly showed up at my house

and my place of business.

Well, I moved back to LA,
and being here,

I think about you and what we had,

which is something that
I haven't had since...

- You're not buying any of this, are you?
- No.

Okay, I'm leaving,
even though I love mint chocolate chip.

The next move is yours, Holly.

You know, you don't have to stay.
I'm fine.

I'm not here to take care of you.

I'm actually enjoying the company.

Oh, God. I don't know.

It must be something
in the water or the wine.

I cannot get my family together
without the roof blowing off.

It's a lot better than how I grew up.

My father taught us
to keep our trap shut.

Nobody spoke in the house, you know.

So, consider yourself lucky.
It's loud here, but it's the truth.

And the truth sets you free.

Yeah.

Oh, Tommy!

(SIGHS)

I always thought he had a lot of
his father in him, but the good part.

- Nora, can I be honest?
- Yes.

- From one parent to the other?
- Yes.

Children test us. We know that,

but that doesn't mean
we stop believing in them.

It simply means that
we have to fight harder.

- Parenting is so hard.
- You're preaching to the choir.

- Amen.
- Amen.

- One more thing.
- Yes?

Next time I'm in town,
can we go to dinner,

just the two of us?

Yes.

I guess I should've asked you that
in the first place.

It would've saved us
a whole lot of trouble.

Jesse. That was his name.

We went out...
We went out in high school,

and I ran into him
when I was in Phoenix.

We went out to dinner,
we drank too much,

and it was just so easy.

But it was a mistake.

Was she... Was Lena a mistake?

Yeah, she was.

So...

Is it too late? I mean, what do we do?

- REBECCA: Morning.
- Morning.

- Anything good going on?
- Oh, not a thing.

Oh, I love it when it gets cold in LA.
I slept so well.

Well, I'm glad someone slept well.

I had fun last night.

I like David.

Mom, there's no way that...

I mean, he couldn't...

Oh, God. No.

No, Rebecca, no.

Are you sure? Because, Mom, I...

All my life you told me
my dad was a struggling director.

Sweetie, because I was
protecting William.

I mean, those were just
the kind of guys that I dated then.

Oh, sweetie.
I am so sorry that I lied to you.

William Walker was your father.

- Hello.
- It's Sunday.

I'm a workaholic mother
whose kids are with their dad.

What's your excuse?

Well, it's Monday morning
in Shanghai,

and I've been talking to our contacts.

- I'm impressed.
- And I packed my own lunch.

- How's that for impressive?
- I'm a mother of two.

Not so much.

Sorry.

- Big night?
- Yeah, my mother cooked paella.

My family imploded.

How about you?

Well, I channel-surfed
until I fell asleep.

I woke up at : a.m.
to an infomercial promising

to cut the time it takes to peel
an apple down to mere seconds.

I want one of those and one of these.

It's turkey on wheat.

And homemade vegetable soup.

So, no pressure.

If you're hungry, eat up.

What? It's not a date.

Who said it was?

Hi. Yeah, are you busy?

No, no. Look, I...
There's just something I want to say.

This really is no big deal,

and I certainly don't want it
to become a big deal.

No, no, no. It's not that.
Look, Scotty, Jason is coming back.

He contacted me.

No, no. He e-mailed.

Yeah, no. I just...
Look, I just thought you should know.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Oh, Tommy,
you brought Lizzie with you.

So I wouldn't yell at you, right?

Guilty. Besides, Julia is still sleeping.

We had a late night.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, there! Oh, my, my.
You are so beautiful.

I know. She is.

Whatever you decide to do,
you don't have to do it for her.

But you do owe her
the very best life you can give her,

however that works out.

I know. We...
We want to move past this.

We want to stay together.

Yes. We're glad to hear that.

Tommy, listen.
You didn't lie to Julia for a decade.

You made a mistake.
You're not your father.

Thank you.

Hey, you.
Let's go sit outside, shall we?

- Yeah, she'll love that.
- Come on, Dad.

- Have you seen Isaac?
- No.

- He is in Iowa, right?
- Yes.

He did not sleep with your mother,
if that's what you're thinking.

No, I... I was not suggesting
that Isaac and my...

No. No, no, no. I was just wanting
to talk to him, that's all.

Hey, Kitty.

I just want you to know
that I understand

how important kids are to you

and that time is not on our side.

You know, I...

I just really want us to be able to
be honest with each other, that's all.

I also... You know, I don't want it
to be off the table, either. Okay?

Yeah.

MAN ON TV: has scheduled
a press conference.

ADAMS ON: I come before you today
a humble man.

Wait a minute. What is this?

My family and I take full responsibility
for our decision to conceal the truth

from our friends, colleagues,

and from the American public.

My wife and I did what we believed
was best for our family,

including our son, Aaron.

Please tell me that we didn't have
anything to do with this.

- No. No, of course not.
- In light of this,

after consultation
with my family and staff,

I am withdrawing my candidacy
for president immediately.

You just became the frontrunner
for the Republican nomination.

(PHONES RINGING)

I know.