03x10 - Final Touches
Posted: 03/07/22 17:28
Previously on Felicity...
I miss you.
I hope so.
I've worked so we
could be a couple.
But have you tried
at all? I lost a testicle.
We have a new roommate. Molly's
boyfriend's moving in for a while.
Come here.
He's got a g*n.
Do you know that?
I want you to get help.
You're gonna help
me by kicking me out.
No, Molly, wait.
What?
Yes?
Professor Boyden? Yes.
Hi. I received something,
I'm sure it's a mistake,
from the registrar's office that
said I never dropped your class.
Which class?
Um, "Intro to Western Thought."
And your name
is... Felicity Porter.
I was assigned the class at
the beginning of the semester,
but I took Professor
Fisher's "Drawing" instead.
I sent the drop class
form in and everything.
They never got it.
You're in my class,
and you're going to fail.
I'm gonna what?
You missed three
quizzes and a test.
N-n... but... I
dropped the class.
I probably need to
talk to the office again.
I'm sure this is a mistake.
It's December. It's
too late to drop a class.
This is a nightmare. Please
tell me something I can do.
I don't know.
OK, the final. If... how
much does the final count for?
What percent of the grade?
50.
So if I got an "A" on the
final, I could pass the class?
You've never been to class.
Students that have been to
class all semester won't get an "A."
Megan? What?
Two and a half months ago,
you were going to the post office.
I gave you these two
envelopes to put in the mailbox...
a letter to Sally and
this university form...
dropping a class that
I had been assigned.
I'm taking a shower.
Did you mail those? You
didn't mail those, did you?
God! This is so exactly
what you think of me, isn't it?
We live together, and we
talk more than we used to,
but when it comes down to it, you
think I'm just some irresponsible wiccan
who can't be trusted
with the simplest thing.
Did you mail
those letters or not?
I was in there. I know.
You gave me your
letters. Did you mail them?
Yes! I put them with
stuff I had to mail,
including my subscription
to Wiccan Press Monthly.
I put them in this drawer,
my second desk drawer,
where I put all the
stuff I have to do.
I don't understand what happened.
They said they never got it.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Are you kidding?
What? I said I was sorry.
I have to take a final now.
You're smart, you'll pass.
I can't believe you!
Huh. No wonder I
never got any issues.
Would you mail this, too?
♪ Can you become
♪ Can you become
♪ A new version of you?
♪ New wallpaper
♪ New shoe leather
♪ A new way home
♪ I don't remember
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me ♪
No. I took that class.
You're not gonna fail.
Ben, I have to learn a semester's
worth of philosophy in three days.
How does this happen?
Her name is Megan.
That's how it happens.
Plus, I have that meeting
for that thing with Noel.
Drop the thing with Noel.
I'm gonna do the
thing with Noel.
I gotta talk to someone else at
the registrar's office. It'll work out.
I'm just gonna get
the rest of my stuff.
Molly, come on, you know
we don't want you to leave.
You went with Ben to get help.
Why don't you do that again?
Mind your own business, OK?
Come on, Molly,
what are you doing?
Don't worry about me.
Hey, it was only our first try.
We could try again.
Sean, it's not that big a deal.
We just have to
give it some time.
We've given it some time.
Well, we have to
give it more time.
Yeah, but it's... Megan,
it's been, like, four weeks.
OK, that's the only
thing that concerned me.
Oh, hi. It's just me,
the most brilliant president
in student body history.
Did you guys just have
sex? Are you about to?
What's up? What?
OK, great. The student
fund is low, right?
I was just thinking, "What can I,
student body president, do to help?"
Resign?
A calendar. I'm gonna make
a calendar of the hottest,
most scantily-clad
chicks at the university.
That's smart.
The best ideas are so obvious.
I'm gonna need some help.
I was kidding. You're gonna
alienate half the population.
You gotta have two calendars,
one for women and one for men.
She's right.
All right. I have no problem
picking the female gender,
but I can't choose the guys.
I don't know when a guy's
cute, me still not being gay.
I'll pick the guys.
Right. As if you know
when a guy's cute.
Thanks, Richard.
What's his problem?
You can be so insensitive.
Hey, what's going on
with you guys? Hey!
Are you gonna help
me with this thing or not?
Guys? Can I come up? Oh!
You know what it is? It's cute.
Which is rare for us.
We're usually offensive.
The stuff on the
site, it's really funny.
Yeah, but it's offensive.
I love our cartoons, but some of
them are just really unpleasant.
Have you seen q*eer Duck? Yes.
You know what I'm talking
about. Grab a seat here.
So how long have you two
been working as a team?
We're actually just friends.
This is the first project we've
ever worked on together.
You should take
one of my classes.
Noel showed me the
animation you did. It was great.
Thank you.
Anyway, I talked to John,
he liked your thing, too.
The problem is, we've got
one slot left for production
and two other ideas
competing for it.
So what do we have
to do to get the slot?
The other ideas are
presenting on Friday...
that's a detailed outline
of the first cartoon
and two- or three-paragraph
descriptions of the next 20 episodes.
20?
Yeah, we record 21
episodes at a time.
And this is by Friday?
I know it's a lot.
No problem. Noel...
We can do this. Yeah.
We can totally do this.
Good. OK. Great.
Hope so, 'cause this'll be fun.
You didn't get that one right.
Yes, I did.
Oh, no, you didn't.
Oh, yes, I did.
Only you would
put carboxylic acid.
Mara talked about
carboxylics two weeks ago.
Yeah, once two weeks ago.
I guarantee you, no one
here gave that as an answer.
No one here got it right. Right.
So, uh, this is the part where
we usually go grab a bite,
and then go to the park
and hang out for a while,
then go back to
your place or mine
and make out until
it drove us insane.
But, uh, right now,
it's a mess, isn't it?
Doesn't have to be.
It's not your place to say. I
spoke to my minister about it.
Really?
I had to use all types
of creative language
to describe the situation,
but, you know, I think I
conveyed the general idea.
What did he say?
She said a mouthful.
But the thing that
resonates is I have to decide
whether or not to
let go of the past,
and I have to decide
whether to forgive or not.
You don't know how
much I hope you do that.
We haven't had
this conversation yet,
so I thought I should say it
and make it officially official.
Friends?
OK, well, that's
a start. Friends.
Right on.
OK, I'll see you. OK.
I have to learn this book on
Western Thought in three days.
I hated that book.
What did you get on that final?
I got a "C." I sucked
it up in that class.
The guy at Ice Box needs us to
come up with 21 ideas by Friday.
You gotta drop that thing
with Noel, you have to.
But it's cool. I kinda like it.
But I know you're right.
Yeah, I am. I'm right.
I have to say, "Noel, I'm
sorry, but I cannot do it.
I can't do everything."
No, you can't do everything.
This sounds all right, right?
You are saving my life.
What do you mean?
I was half-asleep
the other night,
and I had this vision
of my future apartment.
Brick walls, and a great view
of the Woolworth Building,
my own little home-office
graphics company,
and there was this
schedule book on the table...
Speaking of schedules...
Wait, here's the good part.
In my vision, there were half a
dozen job offers, and I got them all
because "Loser Pet
Store" was a phenomenon.
And you were working with me.
Oh. I was?
That's unbelievable.
Oh, yeah. And we can
trace it all back to the moment
you and I decided to do this.
I'm not kidding. I think she's
making my life right now.
That's amazing.
Yeah. You guys
sit tight. I'm buying.
Way to lay down the law.
I gonna tell him, OK? I will.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Um, look, about this morning,
I just wanted to apologize.
I was still really angry.
That's OK.
And I know that it's really
difficult for you to understand
about me and James.
Do you wanna sit down?
No, thank you. James is
coming here to meet me.
I wanted to say that it's not that I
don't appreciate all you're trying to do,
but I can't just
walk away from him.
Just as long as you're
taking care of yourself, too.
I know. I will. I promise.
Hey, you.
What are you doing?
Nothing. Let's go.
Hanging out with your friends
who kicked you out
of the apartment?
No. Let's go.
Yeah, you guys are really
good friends. Great friends.
What's going on?
Look, it's another
one of your friends.
Just let it go, man.
We were just talking.
She doesn't need
to talk to you, OK?
She doesn't need any of you.
I'm really sorry
about this, guys...
Don't apologize to them.
Let's go.
Stay away from her.
Don't even talk to her.
I'm gonna explore that thing a
little more with the parrot, the dog...
All right, good night.
We got some good
stuff today. Yeah.
OK, bye.
Hey.
Hey. I didn't wanna wake you up.
That's OK.
Go back to sleep. OK.
You didn't tell him, did you?
You saw how important
this thing is to him.
What about what's
important to you?
You can't work with him until 1:30 in
the morning and then start studying.
It's too much.
I know.
Why don't you tell
him you can't do it?
'Cause it's something
I really wanna do.
OK. Well, then good luck.
OK. OK.
What's your major?
Poli Sci.
Not bad.
Poli Sci.
Are these real?
What do you think?
Thanks for coming in.
Would you call the
next guy, please?
Hey, how did he feel?
I'm doing my job. You think
I like looking at these guys?
No. I think you love it.
It's for the calendar. Right.
Hey, guys, moving on. Hi.
Your name and year.
Veronica Temple,
and I'm a senior.
Great.
She's a senior.
That's... um... uh...
OK, do you have...
how about your
likes and dislikes?
Yes, good. If any.
I love walking
barefoot on the beach...
Who doesn't?
Cuddling...
Cuddling.
And praying for world peace.
And I don't like loud people.
Who? OK! Thanks for coming in.
Wait one second.
We have to see her in a bikini.
Yeah. It's for the
calendar. Right?
Oh, buddy.
Fantastic.
OK. Pick a month. What's
your favorite month? Name one.
June.
June. Fantastic.
That's great, June.
Summer.
Thanks, June... uh, Veronica.
Thank you. We'll call you.
June it is.
We have her number, right?
Yeah, I have her number.
Now I know what to get you
for Hanukkah... a drool cup.
What are you talking about?
Should've seen the way
you were staring at her boobs.
I wasn't touching her boobs
the way you were touching Dirk's.
Walking barefoot on the beach and
praying for world peace are her likes?
Why didn't she just
say oxygen and gravity?
Don't get mad at me
just 'cause she's hot. OK?
Then sleep with
her. I need a break.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dude. What the hell's
going on with you guys?
Nothing.
Fine, don't tell me, but,
please, try to act professional.
You're creepin' out the models.
And the president.
He's dealing again.
I overheard him talking
with somebody on the phone.
And he's using again, too.
Sad to say, so am I.
I know that it's wrong, but
when I'm with him, I just... I...
I can't help myself.
Hey, can I talk to
you for a second?
I can't. I'm sorry,
I've gotta go.
Listen, Molly, this
is getting stupid.
He's dealing again.
What are you doing?
He's just doing this
temporarily... to get by.
He said that he's
gonna get clean.
He promised me
he's gonna get clean.
And you believe him?
I have to, Ben. I love him.
Where's the zoom on this thing?
Can you see me OK?
I've got a really nice body.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we can all see that.
Hey! Gimme the camera back.
Excuse me. I'm talking to Joe.
Joe? Yeah?
What is your major?
You know what? You're spending
too much time talking to Joe.
No offense, Joe.
None taken.
What do you care
how long I talk to Joe?
What's going on? Nothing.
Thank you, we'll call you. OK.
No, not nothing.
You're bickering.
You're like my parents. And when
you meet them, you will not be flattered.
Hey.
Hey. What are you
guys doing together?
Dropping off your keys.
Don't give us a hard time.
Ooh. How's the
calendar thing going?
Good. It'd be a lot better
if it weren't for
Yick and Yack here.
Can I check that out, please?
Yeah. Just don't
check it out too much.
I gotta go to class,
so I'll give you a call?
Better do that.
OK. Bye, guys.
Bye.
Damn. So all these
girls go to this school
and want to be in your calendar?
Mm-hmm. Student fund is
low. They're loyal to their school.
Plus, they're hot.
Look at that one.
Show him that one.
Hey. Look at that one.
What?
Take off your shirt.
Megan!
Shut up. Do it.
You're in.
OK, another idea I had
was the arrival of
the dyslexic parrot.
He's earnest, well-intentioned,
but he gets everything wrong.
That's good.
I had an idea where he goes
to the dog to ask him for advice.
The dog thinks he's
coming on to him
'cause he's going
through that sexual crisis.
OK.
Yeah.
OK. How about your ideas?
Ok, let's see here.
Maybe one where all
the characters meet.
Yeah, I already said that one.
Oh.
OK, how about one
where the dog gets worms?
And they become
friends. Said that one, too.
Oh.
Look, are you OK?
Mm-hmm.
'Cause this project is
really important to me.
And it seems like you
don't care that much.
What? Look, what's wrong?
I just didn't get much sleep.
I just didn't sleep
last night, that's all.
I'm just... uhh.
I'm sorry. The only reason
I'm being pushy about this
is 'cause we're under
such a deadline. I know!
I don't know what
is wrong with you...
Nothing. Let's just work on "Pet Store."
Let's get this stupid thing out of the way.
"This stupid thing"?
I'll just do it myself.
Fine.
Oh...
Noel, wait.
Noel, wait. Wait a second.
Hey.
Hey.
Something happened.
Can I come back, please?
Yeah. Hang on. OK.
Hey.
Hey.
What's-what's the problem?
What's the problem? Yeah.
Felicity's the problem or
Felicity's got a problem,
or her problem's become
my problem, I don't know.
OK, but what happened?
She's not being a good
friend is what happened.
I mean, yes, I'm grateful. The "Loser
Pet Store" idea was her concept,
but you know what?
Good ideas only get you so
far. They don't get you the job.
She's usually so reliable. Now
it's like she's not even there.
She's just... I don't know.
She's, what, overloaded?
No, that's not it. I don't have
time to figure out what's going on.
You want to know what
happened, what's going on?
She's been busting
her ass trying to help you
and stay on top
of her own classes.
She found out she can't drop
"Western Thought." Boyden's class.
If she wants to pass, she
has to get an "A" on the final.
On top of all of her own
work, on top of helping you,
she's been cramming
for that test all week.
She has to get
an "A" on the final?
Yes. Oh, my God.
She just didn't
wanna abandon you,
even though that's what
I told her she should do.
You told her to
abandon me. Yeah.
That was nice of you.
Hello?
Really. OK. Um, well, yeah.
Yes, yes, I'll come
over right now. OK.
I gotta go.
What's going on?
I'll tell you later.
You all right? Yeah.
So I walked back into the
hotel room where we're staying,
and, um...
and he pulls a g*n.
He pulled a g*n on
you. Are you kidding me?
He had no idea it was
me. He was really high.
That doesn't matter.
That's not an excuse, Molly.
I know. He doesn't
even know that I've left.
I mean, he's going to be so mad.
Molly, don't worry about him.
Is it wrong of me to want
to go back to the hotel?
You can't go back to the hotel.
I shouldn't have
left him like that.
Why not?
You know what? I thought I was
strong enough to do this, but I'm not.
And I can't stand it that
I cannot make this right.
All right. Just-just...
just try to think about...
try to think about what Alicia was talking
about last week and the week before,
that you can't fix
anybody but you.
All right, you gotta fix
yourself here, not him.
You have no idea
what this is like...
to love somebody so much,
you know, to need them,
to not even know whether
you can breathe without them.
Molly, the guy's carrying a
g*n. All right, he's got a g*n.
You can't go back there.
I'm so scared.
Going back to James isn't going
to make that feeling go away.
What if something really
bad happens to him?
If you go back there,
something bad
might happen to you.
What was wrong
with the last guy?
The last guy...
um, I don't know.
He was missing a certain
something. Um, brains.
Brains? What about
Connie, who you loved?
Connie was smart.
Oh, my God, smart!
The only thing smart about that girl
was her outfit, which had a certain flair.
But she, however, was a dunce.
You know what? You're wrong.
No, you're wrong! I'm not wrong!
Shut up! If I have to spend
any more time with you two,
I'm gonna cut off my head.
I'm sorry. Just, guys,
what the hell is going on?
It's obvious.
Megan, this is our problem.
It's called sexual tension.
Oh, all right. I get it.
You guys haven't had
the sex since your surgery.
I don't want to talk about
this in front of Richard, OK.
Thanks a lot. As
if I brought it up.
You don't want to
talk with me, either.
That's because there's
nothing to talk about, OK?
You know, when
it's time, it's time.
I got news for you. It's time.
OK, you know what?
I'll see you guys later.
Hey. Hey.
What's his problem?
His penis apparently.
Did Tracy tell you
where he was going?
No, but, hey, look at this.
Excuse me. What is this?
Yeah, he's going to be
in the school calendar.
Mr. October. Isn't
that great, or what?
No, nuh-uh. This is
not gonna happen.
What? No, hey, he was the
best chunk of hunk we saw all day.
He's a sensitive, religious man.
You can't make
a mockery of that.
OK, I'll put something
really sweet underneath,
like, "Virgin... Proud of
it." There. Problem solved.
Richard, please.
You can't do that.
Every girl in school will be after
him, and I won't have a chance.
It's his call. Go talk to him.
It's not like he'll have
sex with her anyway.
You all right?
Yeah.
I just know that
he's looking for me.
Well, he's not going to
show up at a rehab clinic.
I think you're safe.
Well, maybe they'll
let me stay here, then,
for like, a couple of years.
You know what's funny?
What?
We do these things... we
go to the Al-Anon meetings,
and we come
here, but we do that,
but I don't really
know you at all.
Mmm. And you know what's ironic?
The fact that somebody
that doesn't know me
is probably doing
the nicest thing
that anybody's ever done for me.
You have no idea how horrible
I feel. I'm the worst friend.
I was only thinking about
myself, clearly, and I'm really sorry.
But the truth is, I
should have told you.
True. Yes, you should have. But
if you're mad, I don't blame you.
I was sort of a jerk, so...
OK, OK, enough
groveling. Apology accepted.
Thank you. You know, the
real reason this mattered to me,
I was really looking forward
to doing this with you.
That's all. And I am, too.
Look, I don't want to
blow off "Loser Pet Store."
Maybe there's a way Morrison
can give us an extension,
even if it was for a few days.
Probably. They can see the others first,
and ours, and then make their choice.
Right. 'Cause then I could do both,
which you know I really want to do.
I know. I can tell.
Hi. Professor Morrison.
Um, Howard, it's Noel Crane.
Yeah, things are
going really good.
We got some really good stuff.
Yeah, we're really excited, too.
So, actually, that's
the reason I'm calling
is because we have
so much good stuff,
I was hoping we could
get a slight... extension.
Like until Monday.
No, sorry. Not a chance.
We need it by Friday.
Oh. OK. Sure.
Yeah, that's fine.
Thank you. Thank
you. Yeah, OK, bye-bye.
Well, Monday it
is. That's great.
Yeah, yeah. And I'm
going to get you that "A."
What do you mean?
Boyden. I T.A.'d
that class year.
Are you kidding me?
You were the teacher?
Well, assistant.
Oh, my God, Noel.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Tracy.
Hey, what are doing here?
Waiting on a hypocrite.
Excuse me?
On a tease. That's what you are?
Um, look... you're
calling me names.
After what's gone down, you don't
get to do that for another hundred years.
You say that you're
all about your virginity?
And then you go out and
flaunt yourself to the world?
It's for the student treasury.
It's for a good cause.
I don't care. I don't like you
puttin' yourself out there
like that. I can't help it.
And you didn't even ask me.
You didn't ask
me what I thought.
Why do I have to ask
you what you thought?
Elena, you are not my
girlfriend. You're my friend.
Well, I can't be that, either.
OK, with extra
points for the Latin...
"Cogito ergo sum."
I think, therefore
I am, Descartes.
That's too easy. Come on.
All right. Double jeopardy.
"Two things fill the mind
"with ever-increasing
admiration and awe.
The starry heavens above
and the moral law within."
Yeah, I have no idea.
Come on, you know this.
Um...
No.
Immanuel Kant,
"Categorical Imperatives."
I'm so gonna fail.
No, you're not.
We still have time.
You guys need to lock your door.
Yeah, I thought I did.
Where is she?
Hello! Is she here?
No, she's not here.
If you're lying to me...
Don't thr*aten her.
Hey, James, she's not here.
James! She's really not here.
James.
What the hell, baby?
All your stuff is gone.
Yeah. I know. Um... I
just needed some time.
For what?
James.
Baby, these people don't care about
you. You know where you belong.
James. I'm not talkin' to you.
Please don't do this.
Get your things. No, I...
She doesn't want to go with you!
This is not your problem.
James. James. I'm
sure you're a nice guy,
and you just... want her to
go with you, I understand that,
but she just wants to sleep.
OK, she just wants to
sleep for a little bit, all right?
Just let her sleep.
OK, none of us want anything
ugly to happen here, OK?
Yeah, OK.
You sleep or whatever,
but I'll see you later.
Are you sure you're
going to be OK here?
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Will you lock the inside of
the doors? I got it covered.
And we'll be at the
library if you need us.
Um... we're gonna probably
be there all night, so...
I know. Go study. I'll be fine.
Good.
Oh, you're... I'll be outside.
Hey.
I was really scared before.
Yeah, so was I. I really was.
I don't want this to
sound stupid, but...
What?
I'm just proud of you.
The way you handled
that, that was really...
You were so calm and in control.
That was really great.
Yeah, I was just trying
not to wet my pants.
I love you.
I love you, too.
If I don't see you before
tomorrow, good luck on your final.
OK. OK.
OK. Bye.
Give me six underlying
concepts of existentialism.
I wanna go to sleep.
Come on, this is
gonna be on the test.
Noel, seriously, what's the use?
This is hopeless. I'm
gonna be totally on my own.
Good.
Good what?
Well, that was one.
I was talking about myself.
Well, you were right.
Man is alone in an indifferent
and uncaring universe.
Jean-Paul Sartre, but he's the
McDonald's of existentialism.
So you're gonna have to do better
than that if you want an "A," all right?
I hear words coming
out of your mouth.
I just have no idea
what they mean.
OK. Look at me. Look.
You need to rally.
You need to look
deep within yourself
to those reserves
that we all have,
that energy that only comes into
action when we're in the trenches.
And you need to use it.
I have no idea where it is.
Then find it. All right?
Because I know you can do this,
not because you're the smartest
student or the most dedicated student.
I am dedicated.
But because I have
faith. I have faith in you.
I have ever since I met you.
You can do anything you want.
I can't fly.
That's just one thing.
All right. All that
sarcastic energy... hey.
Focus it.
OK, 'cause I'm here
sacrificing what little time I have
to study for my own finals,
only because I know
this isn't a lost cause.
This is not a waste of time.
A lot of peop... All the people
would not get this from me.
But you... I want this
to be one of those nights
we look back on when we're old,
and we say, "Remember
that all-nighter that we pulled?
"And against all
possible odds, we did it.
You passed that class."
That's what I want this to be.
Look, you're saving my
ass with "Loser Pet Store."
I'm gonna save yours
with Western Thought.
Yeah. Let's do it.
OK.
Six underlying concepts of
existentialism... let me hear 'em.
Hey.
Hey.
You all right?
Yeah.
I need to break up with him.
Yeah.
I just need to say the words.
And... I wanna do it in person.
I think he deserves
that at least.
You really think you
should see him again?
James would never hurt me.
He just needs to
hear that it's over.
He needs to hear
me say the words.
Um...
If you're gonna do it, then you
should do it in a public place.
Uh, I'll come with you.
No. No, I don't know
what he'd do if he saw you.
He doesn't have to see me.
I mean, the guy's dangerous.
I'm-I'm-I'm not gonna
let you go alone.
Don't I have a say?
No.
I'll stay out of
sight, I promise.
Thanks.
Hold on! I'm coming!
Jeez.
Hi.
Hey.
What's going on?
You're right. I don't think
we can be friends anymore.
Oh. Um...
yeah, you're probably right.
Yeah.
I probably am.
Hey.
Hey.
So? Come on. I'm
dying. How'd it go?
Amazing. Yeah?
Yeah, I mean, I
was barely awake,
but somehow the
answers just kept coming.
Yay. I could keep hearing
your voice in my head.
It was annoying,
but it was helpful.
Good.
You are such a good friend.
No, not really.
Yeah, you are.
No.
Remember how I told you that we
had that extension for "Loser Pet Store"?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I lied. Morrison
didn't give it to us,
and he wants the
stuff by tomorrow,
so, you know, we'll pull
another all-nighter tonight.
You mad?
Felicity? You sleeping?
Well, that's it, then.
We got ourselves a calendar.
24 of the hottest babes and
boys this school has to offer.
Congratulations.
Terrific, yeah.
Cheer up, you two.
This is gonna be the greatest
fund-raiser this school has ever had.
People are gonna be talking about
my administration for years to come.
Yeah, it's the dawning
of The Age of Richard.
You know what? It is.
And you two are a
small part of that history.
You should be proud.
Yeah, something
to tell the grandkids.
Grandkids? That's a bit
ambitious, don't you think?
Maybe we should get our little
equipment problem looked at first.
OK, you know what...
I'm out of here. I have
to go find a photographer.
Hey, these are the extras,
if you wanna hold on to
them, maybe for the fantasies,
in case things don't
work out? Leave.
He's right about one thing.
Richard's not right
about anything.
I'm never gonna be
one of these guys.
One of the guys that
you fantasize about.
What makes you think that any of
these guys are part of my fantasies?
Well, with my problem, I sort
of assumed that any guy but me
would be part of your fantasies.
You actually thought that?
Yeah, I... yes.
I wanted to be with you since
the day after the operation.
I've just been scared
that if I don't perform
that you'll find
some guy who can.
God. All this time, I
thought that... I thought...
I thought you weren't into me.
Whoa. Hey, welcome home.
Wow. You wanna get out of here?
Yeah, let's go. Let's go.
Can you run with that
thing? Right now. Yes.
♪ In my last years with him
♪ There were bruises on my face
♪ In my dawn and new day
♪ I finally got away
♪ My head's all messed up
♪ And he knows just what to say
♪ No more dawn and new days
♪ I'm going back to stay
♪ So why say bye-bye
♪ When it only makes me cry?
♪ I still light up
like a candle burnin'
♪ When he calls me up
♪ I still melt down
like a candle burnin'
♪ Every time we touch
♪ Oh, say what you will
♪ He does me wrong,
and I should be gone
♪ But I still be
lovin' you, baby
♪ And it's much too much
♪ We are going down
♪ 'Cause you're
always getting high
♪ And your crumbs of lovin'
♪ No longer get me by
♪ Wow! It gets better
every time that we get high
♪ Then your crumbs of lovin'
♪ They somehow get me by
♪ Why say bye-bye
♪ When it only makes me cry?
♪ I still light up
like a candle burnin'
♪ When he calls me up
♪ I still
♪ Melt down like
a candle burnin'
♪ Every time we touch
♪ I still light up
like a candle burnin'
♪ When he calls me up...
Ooh.
I knew it would work eventually.
Oh, yeah, you were
always really confident.
It was... it was
OK, though, right?
Oh, my God, it was great.
It was better than OK.
You wanna go again?
Don't push your luck. OK.
Honey, for your first time,
all I can say is, "Oh, my God."
Uh-huh.
♪ ...these arms you'll stay
♪ Why?
♪ I should've left ya
♪ And why... ♪
I miss you.
I hope so.
I've worked so we
could be a couple.
But have you tried
at all? I lost a testicle.
We have a new roommate. Molly's
boyfriend's moving in for a while.
Come here.
He's got a g*n.
Do you know that?
I want you to get help.
You're gonna help
me by kicking me out.
No, Molly, wait.
What?
Yes?
Professor Boyden? Yes.
Hi. I received something,
I'm sure it's a mistake,
from the registrar's office that
said I never dropped your class.
Which class?
Um, "Intro to Western Thought."
And your name
is... Felicity Porter.
I was assigned the class at
the beginning of the semester,
but I took Professor
Fisher's "Drawing" instead.
I sent the drop class
form in and everything.
They never got it.
You're in my class,
and you're going to fail.
I'm gonna what?
You missed three
quizzes and a test.
N-n... but... I
dropped the class.
I probably need to
talk to the office again.
I'm sure this is a mistake.
It's December. It's
too late to drop a class.
This is a nightmare. Please
tell me something I can do.
I don't know.
OK, the final. If... how
much does the final count for?
What percent of the grade?
50.
So if I got an "A" on the
final, I could pass the class?
You've never been to class.
Students that have been to
class all semester won't get an "A."
Megan? What?
Two and a half months ago,
you were going to the post office.
I gave you these two
envelopes to put in the mailbox...
a letter to Sally and
this university form...
dropping a class that
I had been assigned.
I'm taking a shower.
Did you mail those? You
didn't mail those, did you?
God! This is so exactly
what you think of me, isn't it?
We live together, and we
talk more than we used to,
but when it comes down to it, you
think I'm just some irresponsible wiccan
who can't be trusted
with the simplest thing.
Did you mail
those letters or not?
I was in there. I know.
You gave me your
letters. Did you mail them?
Yes! I put them with
stuff I had to mail,
including my subscription
to Wiccan Press Monthly.
I put them in this drawer,
my second desk drawer,
where I put all the
stuff I have to do.
I don't understand what happened.
They said they never got it.
Oh. I'm sorry.
Are you kidding?
What? I said I was sorry.
I have to take a final now.
You're smart, you'll pass.
I can't believe you!
Huh. No wonder I
never got any issues.
Would you mail this, too?
♪ Can you become
♪ Can you become
♪ A new version of you?
♪ New wallpaper
♪ New shoe leather
♪ A new way home
♪ I don't remember
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me
♪ New version of you
♪ I need a new version of me ♪
No. I took that class.
You're not gonna fail.
Ben, I have to learn a semester's
worth of philosophy in three days.
How does this happen?
Her name is Megan.
That's how it happens.
Plus, I have that meeting
for that thing with Noel.
Drop the thing with Noel.
I'm gonna do the
thing with Noel.
I gotta talk to someone else at
the registrar's office. It'll work out.
I'm just gonna get
the rest of my stuff.
Molly, come on, you know
we don't want you to leave.
You went with Ben to get help.
Why don't you do that again?
Mind your own business, OK?
Come on, Molly,
what are you doing?
Don't worry about me.
Hey, it was only our first try.
We could try again.
Sean, it's not that big a deal.
We just have to
give it some time.
We've given it some time.
Well, we have to
give it more time.
Yeah, but it's... Megan,
it's been, like, four weeks.
OK, that's the only
thing that concerned me.
Oh, hi. It's just me,
the most brilliant president
in student body history.
Did you guys just have
sex? Are you about to?
What's up? What?
OK, great. The student
fund is low, right?
I was just thinking, "What can I,
student body president, do to help?"
Resign?
A calendar. I'm gonna make
a calendar of the hottest,
most scantily-clad
chicks at the university.
That's smart.
The best ideas are so obvious.
I'm gonna need some help.
I was kidding. You're gonna
alienate half the population.
You gotta have two calendars,
one for women and one for men.
She's right.
All right. I have no problem
picking the female gender,
but I can't choose the guys.
I don't know when a guy's
cute, me still not being gay.
I'll pick the guys.
Right. As if you know
when a guy's cute.
Thanks, Richard.
What's his problem?
You can be so insensitive.
Hey, what's going on
with you guys? Hey!
Are you gonna help
me with this thing or not?
Guys? Can I come up? Oh!
You know what it is? It's cute.
Which is rare for us.
We're usually offensive.
The stuff on the
site, it's really funny.
Yeah, but it's offensive.
I love our cartoons, but some of
them are just really unpleasant.
Have you seen q*eer Duck? Yes.
You know what I'm talking
about. Grab a seat here.
So how long have you two
been working as a team?
We're actually just friends.
This is the first project we've
ever worked on together.
You should take
one of my classes.
Noel showed me the
animation you did. It was great.
Thank you.
Anyway, I talked to John,
he liked your thing, too.
The problem is, we've got
one slot left for production
and two other ideas
competing for it.
So what do we have
to do to get the slot?
The other ideas are
presenting on Friday...
that's a detailed outline
of the first cartoon
and two- or three-paragraph
descriptions of the next 20 episodes.
20?
Yeah, we record 21
episodes at a time.
And this is by Friday?
I know it's a lot.
No problem. Noel...
We can do this. Yeah.
We can totally do this.
Good. OK. Great.
Hope so, 'cause this'll be fun.
You didn't get that one right.
Yes, I did.
Oh, no, you didn't.
Oh, yes, I did.
Only you would
put carboxylic acid.
Mara talked about
carboxylics two weeks ago.
Yeah, once two weeks ago.
I guarantee you, no one
here gave that as an answer.
No one here got it right. Right.
So, uh, this is the part where
we usually go grab a bite,
and then go to the park
and hang out for a while,
then go back to
your place or mine
and make out until
it drove us insane.
But, uh, right now,
it's a mess, isn't it?
Doesn't have to be.
It's not your place to say. I
spoke to my minister about it.
Really?
I had to use all types
of creative language
to describe the situation,
but, you know, I think I
conveyed the general idea.
What did he say?
She said a mouthful.
But the thing that
resonates is I have to decide
whether or not to
let go of the past,
and I have to decide
whether to forgive or not.
You don't know how
much I hope you do that.
We haven't had
this conversation yet,
so I thought I should say it
and make it officially official.
Friends?
OK, well, that's
a start. Friends.
Right on.
OK, I'll see you. OK.
I have to learn this book on
Western Thought in three days.
I hated that book.
What did you get on that final?
I got a "C." I sucked
it up in that class.
The guy at Ice Box needs us to
come up with 21 ideas by Friday.
You gotta drop that thing
with Noel, you have to.
But it's cool. I kinda like it.
But I know you're right.
Yeah, I am. I'm right.
I have to say, "Noel, I'm
sorry, but I cannot do it.
I can't do everything."
No, you can't do everything.
This sounds all right, right?
You are saving my life.
What do you mean?
I was half-asleep
the other night,
and I had this vision
of my future apartment.
Brick walls, and a great view
of the Woolworth Building,
my own little home-office
graphics company,
and there was this
schedule book on the table...
Speaking of schedules...
Wait, here's the good part.
In my vision, there were half a
dozen job offers, and I got them all
because "Loser Pet
Store" was a phenomenon.
And you were working with me.
Oh. I was?
That's unbelievable.
Oh, yeah. And we can
trace it all back to the moment
you and I decided to do this.
I'm not kidding. I think she's
making my life right now.
That's amazing.
Yeah. You guys
sit tight. I'm buying.
Way to lay down the law.
I gonna tell him, OK? I will.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Um, look, about this morning,
I just wanted to apologize.
I was still really angry.
That's OK.
And I know that it's really
difficult for you to understand
about me and James.
Do you wanna sit down?
No, thank you. James is
coming here to meet me.
I wanted to say that it's not that I
don't appreciate all you're trying to do,
but I can't just
walk away from him.
Just as long as you're
taking care of yourself, too.
I know. I will. I promise.
Hey, you.
What are you doing?
Nothing. Let's go.
Hanging out with your friends
who kicked you out
of the apartment?
No. Let's go.
Yeah, you guys are really
good friends. Great friends.
What's going on?
Look, it's another
one of your friends.
Just let it go, man.
We were just talking.
She doesn't need
to talk to you, OK?
She doesn't need any of you.
I'm really sorry
about this, guys...
Don't apologize to them.
Let's go.
Stay away from her.
Don't even talk to her.
I'm gonna explore that thing a
little more with the parrot, the dog...
All right, good night.
We got some good
stuff today. Yeah.
OK, bye.
Hey.
Hey. I didn't wanna wake you up.
That's OK.
Go back to sleep. OK.
You didn't tell him, did you?
You saw how important
this thing is to him.
What about what's
important to you?
You can't work with him until 1:30 in
the morning and then start studying.
It's too much.
I know.
Why don't you tell
him you can't do it?
'Cause it's something
I really wanna do.
OK. Well, then good luck.
OK. OK.
What's your major?
Poli Sci.
Not bad.
Poli Sci.
Are these real?
What do you think?
Thanks for coming in.
Would you call the
next guy, please?
Hey, how did he feel?
I'm doing my job. You think
I like looking at these guys?
No. I think you love it.
It's for the calendar. Right.
Hey, guys, moving on. Hi.
Your name and year.
Veronica Temple,
and I'm a senior.
Great.
She's a senior.
That's... um... uh...
OK, do you have...
how about your
likes and dislikes?
Yes, good. If any.
I love walking
barefoot on the beach...
Who doesn't?
Cuddling...
Cuddling.
And praying for world peace.
And I don't like loud people.
Who? OK! Thanks for coming in.
Wait one second.
We have to see her in a bikini.
Yeah. It's for the
calendar. Right?
Oh, buddy.
Fantastic.
OK. Pick a month. What's
your favorite month? Name one.
June.
June. Fantastic.
That's great, June.
Summer.
Thanks, June... uh, Veronica.
Thank you. We'll call you.
June it is.
We have her number, right?
Yeah, I have her number.
Now I know what to get you
for Hanukkah... a drool cup.
What are you talking about?
Should've seen the way
you were staring at her boobs.
I wasn't touching her boobs
the way you were touching Dirk's.
Walking barefoot on the beach and
praying for world peace are her likes?
Why didn't she just
say oxygen and gravity?
Don't get mad at me
just 'cause she's hot. OK?
Then sleep with
her. I need a break.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Dude. What the hell's
going on with you guys?
Nothing.
Fine, don't tell me, but,
please, try to act professional.
You're creepin' out the models.
And the president.
He's dealing again.
I overheard him talking
with somebody on the phone.
And he's using again, too.
Sad to say, so am I.
I know that it's wrong, but
when I'm with him, I just... I...
I can't help myself.
Hey, can I talk to
you for a second?
I can't. I'm sorry,
I've gotta go.
Listen, Molly, this
is getting stupid.
He's dealing again.
What are you doing?
He's just doing this
temporarily... to get by.
He said that he's
gonna get clean.
He promised me
he's gonna get clean.
And you believe him?
I have to, Ben. I love him.
Where's the zoom on this thing?
Can you see me OK?
I've got a really nice body.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
we can all see that.
Hey! Gimme the camera back.
Excuse me. I'm talking to Joe.
Joe? Yeah?
What is your major?
You know what? You're spending
too much time talking to Joe.
No offense, Joe.
None taken.
What do you care
how long I talk to Joe?
What's going on? Nothing.
Thank you, we'll call you. OK.
No, not nothing.
You're bickering.
You're like my parents. And when
you meet them, you will not be flattered.
Hey.
Hey. What are you
guys doing together?
Dropping off your keys.
Don't give us a hard time.
Ooh. How's the
calendar thing going?
Good. It'd be a lot better
if it weren't for
Yick and Yack here.
Can I check that out, please?
Yeah. Just don't
check it out too much.
I gotta go to class,
so I'll give you a call?
Better do that.
OK. Bye, guys.
Bye.
Damn. So all these
girls go to this school
and want to be in your calendar?
Mm-hmm. Student fund is
low. They're loyal to their school.
Plus, they're hot.
Look at that one.
Show him that one.
Hey. Look at that one.
What?
Take off your shirt.
Megan!
Shut up. Do it.
You're in.
OK, another idea I had
was the arrival of
the dyslexic parrot.
He's earnest, well-intentioned,
but he gets everything wrong.
That's good.
I had an idea where he goes
to the dog to ask him for advice.
The dog thinks he's
coming on to him
'cause he's going
through that sexual crisis.
OK.
Yeah.
OK. How about your ideas?
Ok, let's see here.
Maybe one where all
the characters meet.
Yeah, I already said that one.
Oh.
OK, how about one
where the dog gets worms?
And they become
friends. Said that one, too.
Oh.
Look, are you OK?
Mm-hmm.
'Cause this project is
really important to me.
And it seems like you
don't care that much.
What? Look, what's wrong?
I just didn't get much sleep.
I just didn't sleep
last night, that's all.
I'm just... uhh.
I'm sorry. The only reason
I'm being pushy about this
is 'cause we're under
such a deadline. I know!
I don't know what
is wrong with you...
Nothing. Let's just work on "Pet Store."
Let's get this stupid thing out of the way.
"This stupid thing"?
I'll just do it myself.
Fine.
Oh...
Noel, wait.
Noel, wait. Wait a second.
Hey.
Hey.
Something happened.
Can I come back, please?
Yeah. Hang on. OK.
Hey.
Hey.
What's-what's the problem?
What's the problem? Yeah.
Felicity's the problem or
Felicity's got a problem,
or her problem's become
my problem, I don't know.
OK, but what happened?
She's not being a good
friend is what happened.
I mean, yes, I'm grateful. The "Loser
Pet Store" idea was her concept,
but you know what?
Good ideas only get you so
far. They don't get you the job.
She's usually so reliable. Now
it's like she's not even there.
She's just... I don't know.
She's, what, overloaded?
No, that's not it. I don't have
time to figure out what's going on.
You want to know what
happened, what's going on?
She's been busting
her ass trying to help you
and stay on top
of her own classes.
She found out she can't drop
"Western Thought." Boyden's class.
If she wants to pass, she
has to get an "A" on the final.
On top of all of her own
work, on top of helping you,
she's been cramming
for that test all week.
She has to get
an "A" on the final?
Yes. Oh, my God.
She just didn't
wanna abandon you,
even though that's what
I told her she should do.
You told her to
abandon me. Yeah.
That was nice of you.
Hello?
Really. OK. Um, well, yeah.
Yes, yes, I'll come
over right now. OK.
I gotta go.
What's going on?
I'll tell you later.
You all right? Yeah.
So I walked back into the
hotel room where we're staying,
and, um...
and he pulls a g*n.
He pulled a g*n on
you. Are you kidding me?
He had no idea it was
me. He was really high.
That doesn't matter.
That's not an excuse, Molly.
I know. He doesn't
even know that I've left.
I mean, he's going to be so mad.
Molly, don't worry about him.
Is it wrong of me to want
to go back to the hotel?
You can't go back to the hotel.
I shouldn't have
left him like that.
Why not?
You know what? I thought I was
strong enough to do this, but I'm not.
And I can't stand it that
I cannot make this right.
All right. Just-just...
just try to think about...
try to think about what Alicia was talking
about last week and the week before,
that you can't fix
anybody but you.
All right, you gotta fix
yourself here, not him.
You have no idea
what this is like...
to love somebody so much,
you know, to need them,
to not even know whether
you can breathe without them.
Molly, the guy's carrying a
g*n. All right, he's got a g*n.
You can't go back there.
I'm so scared.
Going back to James isn't going
to make that feeling go away.
What if something really
bad happens to him?
If you go back there,
something bad
might happen to you.
What was wrong
with the last guy?
The last guy...
um, I don't know.
He was missing a certain
something. Um, brains.
Brains? What about
Connie, who you loved?
Connie was smart.
Oh, my God, smart!
The only thing smart about that girl
was her outfit, which had a certain flair.
But she, however, was a dunce.
You know what? You're wrong.
No, you're wrong! I'm not wrong!
Shut up! If I have to spend
any more time with you two,
I'm gonna cut off my head.
I'm sorry. Just, guys,
what the hell is going on?
It's obvious.
Megan, this is our problem.
It's called sexual tension.
Oh, all right. I get it.
You guys haven't had
the sex since your surgery.
I don't want to talk about
this in front of Richard, OK.
Thanks a lot. As
if I brought it up.
You don't want to
talk with me, either.
That's because there's
nothing to talk about, OK?
You know, when
it's time, it's time.
I got news for you. It's time.
OK, you know what?
I'll see you guys later.
Hey. Hey.
What's his problem?
His penis apparently.
Did Tracy tell you
where he was going?
No, but, hey, look at this.
Excuse me. What is this?
Yeah, he's going to be
in the school calendar.
Mr. October. Isn't
that great, or what?
No, nuh-uh. This is
not gonna happen.
What? No, hey, he was the
best chunk of hunk we saw all day.
He's a sensitive, religious man.
You can't make
a mockery of that.
OK, I'll put something
really sweet underneath,
like, "Virgin... Proud of
it." There. Problem solved.
Richard, please.
You can't do that.
Every girl in school will be after
him, and I won't have a chance.
It's his call. Go talk to him.
It's not like he'll have
sex with her anyway.
You all right?
Yeah.
I just know that
he's looking for me.
Well, he's not going to
show up at a rehab clinic.
I think you're safe.
Well, maybe they'll
let me stay here, then,
for like, a couple of years.
You know what's funny?
What?
We do these things... we
go to the Al-Anon meetings,
and we come
here, but we do that,
but I don't really
know you at all.
Mmm. And you know what's ironic?
The fact that somebody
that doesn't know me
is probably doing
the nicest thing
that anybody's ever done for me.
You have no idea how horrible
I feel. I'm the worst friend.
I was only thinking about
myself, clearly, and I'm really sorry.
But the truth is, I
should have told you.
True. Yes, you should have. But
if you're mad, I don't blame you.
I was sort of a jerk, so...
OK, OK, enough
groveling. Apology accepted.
Thank you. You know, the
real reason this mattered to me,
I was really looking forward
to doing this with you.
That's all. And I am, too.
Look, I don't want to
blow off "Loser Pet Store."
Maybe there's a way Morrison
can give us an extension,
even if it was for a few days.
Probably. They can see the others first,
and ours, and then make their choice.
Right. 'Cause then I could do both,
which you know I really want to do.
I know. I can tell.
Hi. Professor Morrison.
Um, Howard, it's Noel Crane.
Yeah, things are
going really good.
We got some really good stuff.
Yeah, we're really excited, too.
So, actually, that's
the reason I'm calling
is because we have
so much good stuff,
I was hoping we could
get a slight... extension.
Like until Monday.
No, sorry. Not a chance.
We need it by Friday.
Oh. OK. Sure.
Yeah, that's fine.
Thank you. Thank
you. Yeah, OK, bye-bye.
Well, Monday it
is. That's great.
Yeah, yeah. And I'm
going to get you that "A."
What do you mean?
Boyden. I T.A.'d
that class year.
Are you kidding me?
You were the teacher?
Well, assistant.
Oh, my God, Noel.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much. Yeah. Uh-huh.
Tracy.
Hey, what are doing here?
Waiting on a hypocrite.
Excuse me?
On a tease. That's what you are?
Um, look... you're
calling me names.
After what's gone down, you don't
get to do that for another hundred years.
You say that you're
all about your virginity?
And then you go out and
flaunt yourself to the world?
It's for the student treasury.
It's for a good cause.
I don't care. I don't like you
puttin' yourself out there
like that. I can't help it.
And you didn't even ask me.
You didn't ask
me what I thought.
Why do I have to ask
you what you thought?
Elena, you are not my
girlfriend. You're my friend.
Well, I can't be that, either.
OK, with extra
points for the Latin...
"Cogito ergo sum."
I think, therefore
I am, Descartes.
That's too easy. Come on.
All right. Double jeopardy.
"Two things fill the mind
"with ever-increasing
admiration and awe.
The starry heavens above
and the moral law within."
Yeah, I have no idea.
Come on, you know this.
Um...
No.
Immanuel Kant,
"Categorical Imperatives."
I'm so gonna fail.
No, you're not.
We still have time.
You guys need to lock your door.
Yeah, I thought I did.
Where is she?
Hello! Is she here?
No, she's not here.
If you're lying to me...
Don't thr*aten her.
Hey, James, she's not here.
James! She's really not here.
James.
What the hell, baby?
All your stuff is gone.
Yeah. I know. Um... I
just needed some time.
For what?
James.
Baby, these people don't care about
you. You know where you belong.
James. I'm not talkin' to you.
Please don't do this.
Get your things. No, I...
She doesn't want to go with you!
This is not your problem.
James. James. I'm
sure you're a nice guy,
and you just... want her to
go with you, I understand that,
but she just wants to sleep.
OK, she just wants to
sleep for a little bit, all right?
Just let her sleep.
OK, none of us want anything
ugly to happen here, OK?
Yeah, OK.
You sleep or whatever,
but I'll see you later.
Are you sure you're
going to be OK here?
Yeah, I'll be fine.
Will you lock the inside of
the doors? I got it covered.
And we'll be at the
library if you need us.
Um... we're gonna probably
be there all night, so...
I know. Go study. I'll be fine.
Good.
Oh, you're... I'll be outside.
Hey.
I was really scared before.
Yeah, so was I. I really was.
I don't want this to
sound stupid, but...
What?
I'm just proud of you.
The way you handled
that, that was really...
You were so calm and in control.
That was really great.
Yeah, I was just trying
not to wet my pants.
I love you.
I love you, too.
If I don't see you before
tomorrow, good luck on your final.
OK. OK.
OK. Bye.
Give me six underlying
concepts of existentialism.
I wanna go to sleep.
Come on, this is
gonna be on the test.
Noel, seriously, what's the use?
This is hopeless. I'm
gonna be totally on my own.
Good.
Good what?
Well, that was one.
I was talking about myself.
Well, you were right.
Man is alone in an indifferent
and uncaring universe.
Jean-Paul Sartre, but he's the
McDonald's of existentialism.
So you're gonna have to do better
than that if you want an "A," all right?
I hear words coming
out of your mouth.
I just have no idea
what they mean.
OK. Look at me. Look.
You need to rally.
You need to look
deep within yourself
to those reserves
that we all have,
that energy that only comes into
action when we're in the trenches.
And you need to use it.
I have no idea where it is.
Then find it. All right?
Because I know you can do this,
not because you're the smartest
student or the most dedicated student.
I am dedicated.
But because I have
faith. I have faith in you.
I have ever since I met you.
You can do anything you want.
I can't fly.
That's just one thing.
All right. All that
sarcastic energy... hey.
Focus it.
OK, 'cause I'm here
sacrificing what little time I have
to study for my own finals,
only because I know
this isn't a lost cause.
This is not a waste of time.
A lot of peop... All the people
would not get this from me.
But you... I want this
to be one of those nights
we look back on when we're old,
and we say, "Remember
that all-nighter that we pulled?
"And against all
possible odds, we did it.
You passed that class."
That's what I want this to be.
Look, you're saving my
ass with "Loser Pet Store."
I'm gonna save yours
with Western Thought.
Yeah. Let's do it.
OK.
Six underlying concepts of
existentialism... let me hear 'em.
Hey.
Hey.
You all right?
Yeah.
I need to break up with him.
Yeah.
I just need to say the words.
And... I wanna do it in person.
I think he deserves
that at least.
You really think you
should see him again?
James would never hurt me.
He just needs to
hear that it's over.
He needs to hear
me say the words.
Um...
If you're gonna do it, then you
should do it in a public place.
Uh, I'll come with you.
No. No, I don't know
what he'd do if he saw you.
He doesn't have to see me.
I mean, the guy's dangerous.
I'm-I'm-I'm not gonna
let you go alone.
Don't I have a say?
No.
I'll stay out of
sight, I promise.
Thanks.
Hold on! I'm coming!
Jeez.
Hi.
Hey.
What's going on?
You're right. I don't think
we can be friends anymore.
Oh. Um...
yeah, you're probably right.
Yeah.
I probably am.
Hey.
Hey.
So? Come on. I'm
dying. How'd it go?
Amazing. Yeah?
Yeah, I mean, I
was barely awake,
but somehow the
answers just kept coming.
Yay. I could keep hearing
your voice in my head.
It was annoying,
but it was helpful.
Good.
You are such a good friend.
No, not really.
Yeah, you are.
No.
Remember how I told you that we
had that extension for "Loser Pet Store"?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I lied. Morrison
didn't give it to us,
and he wants the
stuff by tomorrow,
so, you know, we'll pull
another all-nighter tonight.
You mad?
Felicity? You sleeping?
Well, that's it, then.
We got ourselves a calendar.
24 of the hottest babes and
boys this school has to offer.
Congratulations.
Terrific, yeah.
Cheer up, you two.
This is gonna be the greatest
fund-raiser this school has ever had.
People are gonna be talking about
my administration for years to come.
Yeah, it's the dawning
of The Age of Richard.
You know what? It is.
And you two are a
small part of that history.
You should be proud.
Yeah, something
to tell the grandkids.
Grandkids? That's a bit
ambitious, don't you think?
Maybe we should get our little
equipment problem looked at first.
OK, you know what...
I'm out of here. I have
to go find a photographer.
Hey, these are the extras,
if you wanna hold on to
them, maybe for the fantasies,
in case things don't
work out? Leave.
He's right about one thing.
Richard's not right
about anything.
I'm never gonna be
one of these guys.
One of the guys that
you fantasize about.
What makes you think that any of
these guys are part of my fantasies?
Well, with my problem, I sort
of assumed that any guy but me
would be part of your fantasies.
You actually thought that?
Yeah, I... yes.
I wanted to be with you since
the day after the operation.
I've just been scared
that if I don't perform
that you'll find
some guy who can.
God. All this time, I
thought that... I thought...
I thought you weren't into me.
Whoa. Hey, welcome home.
Wow. You wanna get out of here?
Yeah, let's go. Let's go.
Can you run with that
thing? Right now. Yes.
♪ In my last years with him
♪ There were bruises on my face
♪ In my dawn and new day
♪ I finally got away
♪ My head's all messed up
♪ And he knows just what to say
♪ No more dawn and new days
♪ I'm going back to stay
♪ So why say bye-bye
♪ When it only makes me cry?
♪ I still light up
like a candle burnin'
♪ When he calls me up
♪ I still melt down
like a candle burnin'
♪ Every time we touch
♪ Oh, say what you will
♪ He does me wrong,
and I should be gone
♪ But I still be
lovin' you, baby
♪ And it's much too much
♪ We are going down
♪ 'Cause you're
always getting high
♪ And your crumbs of lovin'
♪ No longer get me by
♪ Wow! It gets better
every time that we get high
♪ Then your crumbs of lovin'
♪ They somehow get me by
♪ Why say bye-bye
♪ When it only makes me cry?
♪ I still light up
like a candle burnin'
♪ When he calls me up
♪ I still
♪ Melt down like
a candle burnin'
♪ Every time we touch
♪ I still light up
like a candle burnin'
♪ When he calls me up...
Ooh.
I knew it would work eventually.
Oh, yeah, you were
always really confident.
It was... it was
OK, though, right?
Oh, my God, it was great.
It was better than OK.
You wanna go again?
Don't push your luck. OK.
Honey, for your first time,
all I can say is, "Oh, my God."
Uh-huh.
♪ ...these arms you'll stay
♪ Why?
♪ I should've left ya
♪ And why... ♪