03x12 - Nuttin' But the Tooth

[bunniefuu]

All right, Barney. Now, quit worrying.

When I peel out of here, your tooth comes with me.

[stammering] Who's worrying?

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Guess that did it.

Barney.

What are you trying to do, make me miss the fights?

Now, stand still.

[caws]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

[moaning]

[whimpering]

Dino... What's the matter?

Boy. Some watchdog you are, scared of your own shadow.

[moaning]

What was that? Wilma, wake up!

What is it, Fred? I just heard a funny noise.

You better get up and see what it is.

Me?

You heard a noise, and you want me to see what it is?

Of all the nerve. You go see what it is.

Okay. I just thought maybe you were interested.

Besides, it's probably nothing to worry about.

[moaning]

On second thought, maybe there is something to worry about.

Quick, Wilma, call the police. Stop clowning, Fred.

I'll get to the bottom of this.

[moaning]

Sounds like it's coming from the Rubbles' house.

The Rubbles? It's a fine time tonight for them to pick a fight.

Why can't people get along nicely, like we do?

[moaning]

That's Barney. Sounds like he's in pain.

Poor guy. He must have got in awful late.

[phone ringing]

[Wilma] Now, who would that be calling at this time of night?

Hello? Hello, Betty. Is something wrong? Uh-huh.

I'm sorry to bother you, Wilma, but Barney has a terrible toothache.

[moaning]

Can I borrow your ice bag? Sure, Betty. Be right over.

What's wrong, Wilma?

Barney has a toothache and I'm taking him an ice bag.

Thanks, Wilma. I feel better already.

Maybe you could drive Barney to the dentist in the morning, Fred.

Sure. I'd be glad to.

We better go now and let Barney get some rest.

Yeah. Good night, Barney, and keep cool, pal.

[laughs]

Yeah. Right, Fred. Good night.

[door slams]

Now, try and get some sleep, dear.

Sleep? Yeah, I think I will try to catch a few winks.

[yawns]

Hey, Barney, let's go, pal.

[honking]

You don't want to be late for your coming-out party, do you?

[laughs]

Well, this is it, Barney. D-day for dentist day.

Honest, Betty, I don't think I should go.

My toothache is gone. I feel fine.

Oh, ho. Don't pull that on me. You go see the dentist.

What are you doing, Barney, writing a will?

[laughing]

Oh, gosh. Maybe I should. Don't be silly.

Now, get going. Fred is waiting.

What's the matter, Barney? You chicken? Who, me?

Well, uh, to tell the truth, Fred...

[clucking]

[laughing]

You got nothing to worry about, pal.

Nowadays, all the dentists are painless.

Painless? Yeah, they never feel a thing.

Boy, you're a great help.

Hey Barney, look at that sign.

Championship fight tonight, Rocky Granite vs Floyd Patterstone Boy, would I love to see that. Me, too.

I heard they're using six-pound clubs.

Say, Barney, mind if I ask you a question?

Sorry, Fred. I'm broke. Oh, boy.

Some pal you turn out to be.

Always broke when it comes to helping a friend.

I'd like to help you but I only got 10 bucks for the dentist.

Ten bucks?

Barney, with 10 bucks we could get a couple of ringside-seat tickets.

But what about my toothache, Fred?

That's easy. I just gotta figure a way to pull your tooth for nothing.

Um, there's only one thing wrong with your figuring, Fred.

What's that? I won't be here.

Wait a minute!

What's the matter? Don't you trust me? Frankly, no.

I don't mind you pulling my leg once in a while but I'm kind of touchy about my teeth.

Look, Barney, have I ever pulled your tooth before?

Well, uh, no, Fred.

Then how do you know it's gonna hurt? Because it hurts just thinking about it.

All right, Barney. Now, quit worrying.

When I peel out of here, your tooth comes with me.

[stammering] Who's worrying?

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Guess that did it.

Barney!

What are you trying to do, make me miss the fights?

Now, stand still.

My tooth didn't come out, Fred. Never mind.

Let's get back to the house. I got another idea.

Good. Wilma isn't home.

You stay put, Barney. I'll be right out.

Come on, Dino. I got a little job for you.

[Dino yapping]

Just think, Barney if it wasn't for your toothache, we'd probably miss the fight tonight.

Yeah. I guess I'm pretty lucky. You're lucky you got a friend like me.

Here we are, Dino. You are all set.

[yipping]

You know, if this works, I may even open an office of my own.

What's the cat for, Fred? Never mind, Barney.

Yours is not to question why. Yours is but to do or...

What's the rest of that saying? "Die"?

Go get him, Dino.

[yapping]

I can't do it, Fred. Here, you take it.

Hold it, Dino, you got the wrong man! Hold it.

Heel, boy! Heel! Heel, boy! Heel!

Whoa! Ow! [grunting]

Stop it! Stop it! Come on, Dino. Stop! Stop!

Fred, you all right?

Gee, did you get flattened.

Oh, boy.

Golly, Fred, can't we just go to a cheap dentist?

Whoever heard of a cheap dentist short of a dinosaur dentist?

Wait a minute. I think you got something there, Barney-boy.

What's the difference between a dinosaur dentist and a regular dentist?

About 5 bucks.

Which still leaves us enough for a couple of cheap seats to see the fight.

Here we are. "Smiley Molar, dinosaur dentist."

He's a genius. Pulled Dino's baby teeth.

I never heard of Dr. Molar, Fred. So what?

Whoever heard of Thomas Edistone before he invented the rowboat?

I thought Edistone invented the candle.

Shows how much you know about agriculture. Come on.

Excuse me, miss. Do you still have the $5 extraction special?

Yes. Will that be cash or Dinos' Club card?

Cash. My friend with the toothache will pay for it.

You know, we don't get many like him in here.

We usually work on dinosaurs.

Just tell the doctor we're here, will you?

I'll call in on the intercom.

Doctor, a live one just arrived.

[caws] Doctor, a live one just arrived.

Oh, yes. Fine. Send him in.

[caws] Yes. Fine. Send him in. Send him in. [caws]

The doctor will see you now.

Go ahead, Barney, and make it snappy. I'll wait out here.

I got a better idea, Fred. You go in and I'll wait out here.

Go on. Quit stalling.

Oh, my. Yes, yes. That tooth definitely must come out.

Yes, indeed. Will it hurt, Doc?

Hurt? Of course not.

I use only the most modern scientific anesthetics.

I'll give you some gas.

And you'll be off to dreamland in a couple of seconds.

Now, just breathe deeply.

[phone ringing]

Oh, dear. It's the phone.

Excuse me. I'll be right back. You just keep breathing.

Oh, hello, dear.

Stop at the store for a loaf of bread. Gotcha.

And a pound of butter? Yes. Go on.

Two dozen dodo eggs, some seaweed, and a head of lettuce.

Twenty-eight pounds of brontosaurus steak.

And box of crackers, four gallons of milk.

Pterodactyl pudding, and some tea. Right. [laughs]

Say, honey, how about if I do the shopping this week and you pull the teeth?

There goes another one. We lose more patients that way.

Wonder what's taking Barney so long.

If he didn't have the ten bucks, I wouldn't even wait.

That's funny. That guy that floated by looks just like Barney.

Hey, that is Barney. What the heck is he trying to pull?

Barney, where are you?

Barney!

Keep calm, pal. I'll save you.

Eh, oh, nurse, did you see my patient?

Uh-huh. He just floated out the door. Shucks.

That's the third one we lost this week.

Ah, well!

Send in the next patient, please.

Come on, Hector. The doctor won't hurt you.

[whimpering]

Slow down, Barney. Slow down. Try coming in for a landing.

Oh, boy. Why do I let him get me into situations like this?

Wake up, Barney! Wake up!

Hey, you. Wake up. Wake up!

My head. What happened, officer?

You were looking up in the air and ran right into this tree.

Now, what's so interesting up there?

Barney. Where did he go? Where did he go? Where did who go?

Officer, did you see a little guy float by?

Was he about this big? Yeah.

Blond hair? That's right.

Was he traveling south? Yeah.

Sure, he went by.

As a matter of fact, a whole flock of little blond guys flew by.

Must be heading south for the winter, right?

Look, it's no gag, officer. This guy is full of gas.

You sure you ain't gassed? Now, just stay calm. We'll find him.

Hello, Sarge. I got a real psycho for you.

Yeah, he sees floating guys. Mm-hm. Yeah.

Completely unraveled, the whole bit.

You better get the wagon down right away.

There he is, officer. He just flew out of a cloud.

Yoo-hoo, Barney! I found you!

Never mind, officer. I can take it from here.

I'm coming, pal!

Sarge, is that psycho stuff contagious?

I think I saw a guy floating by, too.

Uh-oh! He's floating right into that building.

[woman screams]

[man] What's the matter, Mildred? [woman] A man just flew by.

[man] Agh! Knock it off.

Come on, Barney, I got no time for chasing after you.

Get down here and stop fooling around.

Hey. What the...? Who the...? Hey, Fred, where am I?

What am I doing up here?

Don't ask me. I was sitting in the office minding my own business and you floated right out the door.

[Barney] Oh! I get it. The dentist must have given me too much gas.

Hey, mister, how much you want for that talking kite?

It ain't no talking kite. It's a flying man.

Now, scram, sonny. Go play on the freeway or something.

Boy, what a grouch.

[Barney] Fred. Now what?

What a view. It's breathtaking.

[Fred] Will you knock it off?

Where are we going, Fred?

I'm taking you back to the dentist and get you deflated.

Uh-oh, Fred. Now, what's with the "uh-oh, Fred"?

[Barney] You better fasten your safety belt.

We're gaining altitude.

Now, look at the fix you got us in. Do me a favor, will you, pal?

The next time you get a toothache have someone else take you to the dentist.

[screams]

Help! A peeping Tom!

You got it all wrong, lady. My name is Fred.

Help! A peeping Fred!

Oh, boy. These new rock purses are m*rder.

Fred, what are you doing?

I'm taking my afternoon nap. What else?

[Barney] This ain't no time to take a snooze.

You gotta do something. I'm stuck under this ledge.

Okay, don't move.

Boy, how does he get me into these things, anyway?

Can you hear me, Barney? Loud and clear.

All right. I'll give you a hand.

Don't applaud, Fred. Just throw money.

[laughing]

Oh, boy. Everybody's a comedian.

All right, Barney. Where are you? Right here, Fred.

Can you get a good grip on my arm?

I don't know. It's kind of fat and pudgy.

Gee, Fred, you saved my life.

[stammers]

Cut it out, Barney. I got to get you back to the...

Hey! Come back here! Come back!

Gosh, Fred, I never been this high before. I'm getting dizzy.

Barney, I got a good mind to walk out on you.

I wouldn't try it, Fred.

[laughing]

What are you laughing at? We're in a real jam.

I know, Fred, but I can't help laughing.

Your hand is tickling my foot.

[laughing]

[Fred] Well cut it out. We're in real trouble.

Sorry, Fred. You're right. This ain't no laughing matter.

Let's just remain calm and figure a way out of this.

Right, Fred.

What was that? Search me.

Looks like two humans. Humans don't fly.

I know, but you asked me and I told you it looks like two humans.

It couldn't be. No, I guess you're right.

Fred, I just thought of something. Yeah? What is it?

What happens when the gas wears off?

Barney, think of something pleasant. We'll worry about that later.

Okay. "What happens when the gas wears off?"

Sheesh. Hey, uh, Fred.

Yeah? Here comes one of those new jet jobs.

George, do you see what I see?

If you mean two guys floating up this way, yeah, I see it.

Uh, you think we ought to report it?

Nothing doing. They still think we're nuts for reporting those flying saucers.

Yeah, why ask for trouble?

You know, Barney, I never thought we'd go this way.

At least, we're heading in the right direction.

Observation tower calling fire control.

I see an unidentified flying object over Bedrock.

UFO at 12 o'clock high, general. Prepare to intercept UFO.

Alert all battle stations, sergeant. Yes, sir.

[beeping]

You got to admit, it sounds good anyway.

[man] Attention. Attention. Pilots, man your planes. Pilots, man your planes.

Prepare to launch interceptor missiles.

Fire one.

Fire two.

Fire three.

Fire four.

Fred, someone's sh**ting at us. Why, whatever gave you that idea?

Look, Fred. Here comes the Air Force.

Be calm, Barney. Just act natural.

Pilot to headquarters. Have sighted unidentified flying object.

It's just a couple of civilian joyriders out on a lark.

Suggest you hold fire. Roger.

All right, men. Cease fire.

Hold your fire, men.

Sorry, sarge. That one got away.

Look out, Barney. Here comes another boulder.

I got it!

Yow!

Let go of the rock, Barney! Let go of it!

Fred, look, my tooth got knocked out.

I'm all choked up about it.

Oh, no. Not again.

Let's get back in the car. I've had enough of this making like a bird.

What are you gonna do now, Fred?

Just leave everything to me, Barney.

I know what I'm doing. I got both feet planted on the ground at all times.

Could be, Fred, but right now you got both feet planted firmly in midair.

[laughing]

Will you shut up and let me think? I'm sorry, Fred.

Wilma, I'm worried.

I haven't heard a word from Barney all morning.

Relax, Betty.

The boys will be back from the dentist any minute now, you'll see.

Hey, Fred, look. I can see my house down there from up here.

Now, take a good look. You might never see it again.

Good. Here they come now.

Yoohoo! Barney, how's your tooth?

Hello, Fred. Fred!

Barney! What are you two doing up there?

Looking for a cloud with a silver lining. What else?

If it wasn't Fred and Barney, I wouldn't believe it.

Fred Flintstone, you come down this very instant.

Now, why didn't I think of that?

How about that old fishing anchor you have in the back, Fred?

Hey! That's a good idea, Barney. I'll toss it out. We can climb down the rope.

Boy, I'm glad I thought of that. I gotta hand it to you, Fred, beneath all that blubber lies a nimble brain.

There. We're anchored. After you, Barney.

Just grab the rope and slide down to the ground. Got it?

Gotcha, Fred. Uh-oh.

Sorry, Fred. I guess I should have let you out first.

Barney, I don't know why I stay friends with you.

This is just great. I gotta miss the fights because bubblehead can't keep his feet on the ground.

Oh, shush, Fred. Betty's talking to the dentist.

But, Dr. Molar, isn't there anything you can do?

It's awfully awkward this way.

Uh-huh.

Well, okay. Thank you, doctor. Good-bye.

He says we'll just have to wait until the gas wears off.

But that could take forever. We'll miss the fights.

I was kind of up in the air about that anyway, Fred.

[laughing]

Very amusing.

Hey, wait a minute. Up in the air.

Barney, you're a genius. No kidding.

And I did not even finish high school.

Here. Grab your rock. We're going to the fights.

We are? That is, if it's okay with the w*r department. [laughs]

You mean Wilma and Betty?

It's okay with me. Me, too.

But I sure hope you know what you're doing.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Come on, Barney, let's go.

Here we are at the Bedrock Bowl, Fred.

And with the best cushion seats in the house.

I don't know, Fred. I ain't so comfortable.

What are you complaining about?

You not only got rid of your toothache, but we see the fight for nothing.

Yeah, I guess you're right. Come on, Rocky, let him have it!

Give him the old one-two!

Give it to him, Rocky! Come on, Floyd!

[laughing]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪ Wilma!