03x08 - The Little Stranger

[bunniefuu]

Ready, Arnold? [Arnold] Ready.

Okay, I'll pitch a few easy ones at first. Now try to hit the ball.

Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Flintstone, I didn't mean to hit it so hard.

Think nothing of it, Arnold. I, uh, just wasn't ready.

Now, watch out for this next one. I'm gonna put a little curve on it.

I'm ready, Mr. Flintstone.

I got to go now. I'll be late for school. Bye.

[caws]

Yabba-dabba-doo!

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Let's ride with the family down the street Through the courtesy of Fred's two feet ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪

Last night, I made Fred a delicious soufflé, and still he complained.

It seems nothing suits him anymore.

Look, Wilma, don't tell me your troubles. I'm married too, you know.

So, what are you gonna let Fred turn up his nose at tonight?

Tonight? I thought I'd serve pterodactyl eggs Mornay and maybe a nice, crisp seaweed salad.

There's something wrong with Fred if he doesn't like that.

[caws]

I don't like soapy water.

Wilma, where are my golf clubs?

[Wilma] Where they always are, Fred, in the closet.

No, they're not. I looked.

Look again. I'm sure they're there.

She's sure they're there. She's always so sure of everything.

I'm sure they're not in the closet.

Watch. "I can't find them, Wilma."

[Fred] I can't find them, Wilma. [giggles]

What did I tell you? They're there, Fred. Just look.

I'm looking. I tell you, my golf clubs aren't in here.

I can find my bowling ball, my fishing pole, my tennis racket, baseball glove, golf clubs, tuxedo, hatbox...

Golf clubs?

That's right, Fred. Golf clubs.

Whose bright idea was it to hide my clubs in the closet?

Yours, dear. Huh? Oh, yeah.

Fred, what's wrong with you? You've been acting so grumpy lately.

[Fred] Agh!

All you do is yell, complain, criticize.

Why, it's been weeks since you had a good word for anybody, or anything.

How about last night? I had something good to say about your mother.

[Wilma] My mother?

[Fred] Yeah, I said it's a good thing she lives 50 miles away.

[laughs]

[Wilma] Fred Flintstone, I resent that. [Fred] Agh.

There's something wrong with you, Fred.

I want you to see the doctor this morning and get a checkup.

I can't see the doctor this morning. I'm playing golf with Barney in 10 minutes.

[Wilma] No, you're not. You're going to the doctor.

Maybe he'll give you a nerve tonic or something.

When you start acting like a human being again, then you can get back to your golf.

[Fred] Agh.

Come on, Dino, before he bites you.

How come we're going to the doctor instead of the golf course, Fred?

Are you sick? Of course, I'm not sick.

I'm fit as a fiddle.

Wilma says I can't play golf until I start acting like a human being.

[laughing]

Some wives really set impossible tasks for their husbands, don't they?

Very funny. You're a regular comedian.

Sorry, Fred.

Uh-oh.

Look who's there. Who, Fred?

[Fred] That smart-alecky kid, Arnold, who delivers our newspapers.

So, what?

So every time I see him, we have a battle of wits.

I get it. You're out of amm*nit*on.

Hi, Mr. Flintstone. I was just on my way to your house.

You owe me for last week's newspaper delivery.

All right. You don't have to bug me, Arnold.

Here's your money. Thanks, Mr. Flintstone.

As of now, I am canceling my subscription.

Why? Why?

Because, more and more, that paper of yours is failing to fulfill its obligation to the public.

That's why. I don't understand what you mean.

I mean, your comics section has shrunk to almost nothing.

Only 15 measly comic strips in the whole thing. You call that a newspaper?

Mr. Flintstone, I'd sure hate to lose you as a customer.

I tell you what, I'll give you a special rate.

A special rate? Uh-huh. Let's see now.

You're paying five cents a copy on weekdays and 15 cents on Sundays.

Five cents weekdays, 15 cents on Sundays. That's right.

I tell you what I'm gonna do.

I'll charge six cents for the daily paper, but only a dime on Sundays. What do you say?

Hmm. That sounds like a fair enough deal.

Okay, Arnold, under those conditions, I'll stay your customer.

I thought you would.

Goodbye, gentlemen. So long, Arnold.

[laughing]

I suppose you think I took advantage of the kid, Barney.

But I just did that to teach him a lesson.

Fred, you're paying 46 cents a week now, instead of 45 cents.

Why, that little... He took advantage of me. Arnold, come back here!

Too late, Fred, he's gone. Besides, you got a doctor's appointment.

Good afternoon, gentlemen. Can I help you?

Yeah. I got an appointment to see the doctor. I'm Fred Flintstone.

Please be seated. The doctor will see you in a moment.

[doctor] Nurse, can you come here for a minute?

Certainly, doctor.

Don't look so worried, Fred. You're only having an examination.

Who's worried? I'm not worried. I just don't like waiting.

[doctor] What do you think, nurse? [nurse] It's got to come out.

What's the trouble?

It's seems to be caught on something. I just can't budge it.

[nurse] Did you try a crowbar?

[doctor] That might work, only I haven't got one.

[nurse] Hit it a couple of times with this hammer.

A hammer?

[banging]

There. Mm-hm. That seems to have loosened it a bit.

If we both pulled on it together, it'll come out.

Good idea.

Ready? Pull. Here it comes.

Come on, Barney, let's come back when the doctor ain't so busy.

Fred, wait. You can't leave now. You got an appointment.

Honest, Barney, there ain't nothing wrong with me.

It ain't official until a doctor tells you.

There you are, Mr. Flintstone. The doctor is waiting for you now.

Don't leave me, Barney. I may need you as a witness.

Okay, Mr. Flintstone, say "Ah," please. Ah, please.

Say "Ah" again, please. Ah again, please.

My, my, you may not be the healthiest patient I've ever had, but you are certainly the politest.

Now, come on, Doc. Will you hurry it up?

Ah-ah! Patients should have patience.

I lose my patience with patients without patience. Mm! That's not bad.

Let's take a look inside of you and see what makes you tick.

What kind of contraption is this, Doc?

This? Ooh! It's a new invention. They call it an x-ray machine.

Oh, my. No wonder you feel so grouchy.

You've got butterflies in your stomach.

Sorry. Just a couple of moths on the machine.

You know something?

You're the first patient I ever had who looks better in an x-ray.

Very funny. Can I get out of here now?

Not so fast. We've just started.

All right. Take a deep breath.

Now exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

How am I doing?

Fine. You'll have this place aired out in no time.

Now, once more, big inhale.

That does it.

Let's get out of here before this doctor really needs a doctor.

Waste a whole morning with that nutty doctor when I could have been playing golf.

Boy, am I going to tell Wilma off.

[Barney] Don't tell her too much, or she might never let you play golf again.

Hey! There's Arnold. I got a score to settle with him.

Hold it, you little pirate.

Thought you could fool me, eh? I beg your pardon.

You and your special rates.

I'm paying 46 cents a week now, instead of 45 cents.

You are? Mr. Flintstone, I apologize. You have a legitimate complaint.

Thought you could pull a fast one on me, eh?

Now, let's see.

Six times six for the daily paper is 36, right?

And 10 cents for the Sunday paper makes a total of 46 cents.

When you were paying 15 cents for the Sunday paper, your bill was only 45 cents, right? Right.

Tell you what I'll do, Mr. Flintstone.

I'll let you go back to paying me 15 cents for the Sunday paper. How about it?

Okay. It's a deal.

I'm only being tough for your own good, Arnold. I hope you'll profit from it.

I certainly hope to, Mr. Flintstone. Good day, and thank you.

Uh, Fred. Yeah?

I hate to say this, but Arnold did it again.

[Fred] Come back here, you baby bandit.

Come back here!

If I ever get my hands on you, I'll pulverize you.

Let me at him, Barney. Let me at him!

[laughing]

Yoo-hoo! Wilma. [Wilma] Hi, Betty. Come on in.

Did Arnold's mother call you yet?

Arnold's mother? Why, no.

She will. She and her husband will be out of town for a few days.

She is looking for someone to take care of Arnold.

Oh? When will they leave?

In about a week. She asked me, but I haven't got a spare room.

[phone ringing]

That's probably her now. [Wilma] Hello?

Hi, Doris. Betty just told me.

I'd be happy to have Arnold stay with us. We have plenty of room.

Oh, boy. What a morning. First, that kooky doctor, then that junior con man, Arnold.

It's all Wilma's fault.

Of course, I love children.

But I'm not sure how Fred will feel about it.

He might not like the patter of little feet around the house.

It's been just us two for so long, Fred might not welcome a little stranger.

What little stranger, Fred?

Don't you get it, Barney? My Wilma's gonna have a baby.

Fred, I couldn't be happier if it was happening to me.

Congratulations. Thanks, Barney, old friend.

He can't arrive too soon for me, but knowing Fred, I think I'll keep it a secret from him until the very last minute.

Isn't that sweet? She wants to keep it a secret from me.

Let's not even let on that we know. Don't tell Betty, nobody.

Let Wilma enjoy her little secret.

Okay, "daddy." Daddy...

Yabba-dabba...!

Quiet, Fred. Wilma will hear you. Yeah, that's right.

I don't want to spoil her little surprise.

It's all settled.

Arnold will stay with us while his parents are gone.

Good. You'll enjoy Arnold. He's such a bright little boy.

Now, remember, Barney, act like you don't know nothing.

You can trust me, Fred.

Be real casual. Right.

Okay, let's go in.

Wilma, sweetheart. How do you feel, baby?

What are you doing on your feet? Standing. What else?

Standing? Do you suppose that's wise?

Suppose you fall, or trip, or get a charley horse.

Come on, honey. You better sit down. Let's not take any chances.

Fred, what is this, a gag? A gag? Of course not.

Can't a man show his wife a little appreciation for all she's done for him?

And what she's going to do for him.

Ixnay, Barney, ixnay.

All this attention is very nice, but I've got to fix lunch.

Tut-tut, you've done enough work today, wifey dear.

I will get the lunch. No buts, honey. But...

Wanna give me a hand in the kitchen?

Sure, Fred.

Relax, Wilma, I will take care of everything from now on.

I don't get it. Do you suppose he's sick?

I don't know, but whatever he's got, I just wish Barney would catch it.

Good morning, dear. One breakfast coming up.

Dodo-egg Benedict, cactus toast, jelly and hot chocolate.

All prepared with loving hands.

Fred, you're spoiling me.

This is the fourth day I've had breakfast in bed.

Hubby is just trying to make life a little easier for his buttercup.

If you want anything, I'll be in the kitchen.

There's just time to scrub the floor before I go to work.

[sighs]

He's such a dear.

If he could only cook.

I hope you don't mind walking to work these mornings, Barney.

I'm leaving the car at home, in case Wilma needs it.

I can't get over the way you've changed, Fred.

It's like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Only you're a Jekyll and Jekyll.

[chuckles]

I guess all papas-to-be are this way.

You get a feeling of contentment. You get to love everybody.

Come on, Hector. [Hector] Yes, dear.

Keep up with the rest of us. Yes, dear.

Look, Barney, isn't this touching?

You must be a very proud and happy man, sir.

Well, it's either this, or the Army.

Arnold, wait a minute. Uh-oh.

Don't worry, Arnold.

I'm not sore because you fast-talked me into paying more for my papers.

You're not? No.

You were just being a smart businessman. I like that.

I always felt that success in business means giving the customer what he deserves.

Yeah. [laughs]

Going to play baseball after school? Yes, sir.

How about letting me give you a few pointers, Arnold?

I was known as Dizzy Flintstone when I pitched for the high school team.

Gosh, would you? Sure. Give me the ball and glove.

Here you are, sir. I'll go across the street and try to hit a few.

What's the idea, Fred? We got to get to work.

This will only take a minute, Barney.

After all, I'll soon be playing ball with my son. I want to get in practice.

Ready, Arnold? Ready.

Okay. I'll pitch a few easy ones at first. Now try to hit the ball.

Nice one, Arnold.

Oh! Excuse me, Mr. Flintstone, I didn't mean to hit it so hard.

Think nothing of it, Arnold, I, uh, just wasn't ready.

Now, watch out for this next one. I'm gonna put a little curve on it.

I'm ready, Mr. Flintstone.

I got it! I got it!

[laughing]

I think we better change pitchers, Fred. We're losing the old ball game.

Yeah? I'm just warming up. Watch this.

I got to go now. I'll be late for school. Bye.

Hey, fatso. You with the baseball glove.

That will cost you five bucks. Ooh. That Arnold.

I tried to like him. I tried to be nice to him.

But I can't stand him! Ooh, my head.

[Betty] And Fred is still cooking dinner every night?

Mm-hm. He won't let me lift a finger around the house.

Last night, I tried to wash the dishes, and he actually got mad.

So, what? Which would you rather have? A guilty conscience, or dishpan hands?

[both giggling]

Does Fred know about Arnold coming to stay with you?

No, but I'll have to tell him soon. Arnold's coming over Saturday.

Where did we leave the car? We parked on the corner.

What's the matter with him? Giddy up, you.

Read the sign, lady.

"Don't take carts from parking area."

Oh, I'm sorry. It's all right.

Hey, Fred.

Oh. Hi, Barney. Hold it a minute, Becky.

How's "big daddy" today? All right, I guess.

What's the matter, pal? Something wrong?

Yeah. I was talking to my boss this morning.

His wife's had four kids.

He told me that every time she has a baby, he has to get a nurse for her.

And they're expensive. Those nurses get eight bucks a day.

Eight bucks a day. I ain't got that kind of money. What am I gonna do?

Take it easy, Fred. For every solution, there's a problem.

You mean, "For every problem, there's a solution."

Is that so?

Then I hope you find the solution to this one. [laughing]

Oh, for the love of...

Say.

When Betty's sister had her baby, where did she get a nurse?

Um, uh. Come to think of it, she didn't have a nurse. Her mother took care of her.

Huh? Yeah. That's it.

I'll get Wilma's mother to look after her, it won't cost a cent.

I'll call her right away.

You don't get along with your mother-in-law.

Barney, right now, my personal feelings don't count.

I am doing this for Wilma and our son.

And to save money. [laughing]

Coming. Coming.

Hello? - Hi, Mom, this is son-in-law, Fred.

Fred. Don't tell me Wilma has finally come to her senses and is leaving you?

Oh, boy.

Mom, we haven't seen you for a long time. Why don't you come visit us?

Stay as long as you like. Two, or three months, maybe.

All right, Fred. Who was it? Some long-lost uncle?

- What are you talking about? You can't fool me, Fred.

Somebody left me some money.

Mother, is that nice?

Can't I invite you to spend time with us without you suspecting something?

You'll come over? Swell. Bye, Mom.

She's coming?

Yep. She'll be here Friday. On the 5:15 broom.

Honestly, Mother, he's been an angel all week.

Asking you to stay with us was his idea.

Don't you think that was sweet?

Ha!

Sometimes, I look at him and feel like saying:

"And now, will the real Fred Flintstone, please stand up?"

I still think that husband of yours is up to something.

Mother, you're so suspicious.

Maybe, but don't forget, a leopard can't change his spots.

Mother, Fred is not a leopard. Well, a baboon can't either.

Here you are, girls, a nice refreshing glass of seaweed juice.

We ought to make him taste it first.

Mother. Thank you, Fred. That's awfully considerate of you.

Think nothing of it, my dear.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll take Mother's bag up to her room.

Thanks, dear. Come on, Hugo.

[humming]

See what I mean? I can't believe it.

I don't believe it.

Mother, will you please stop?

All right. I think I'll go to my room now and rest.

[humming]

Who are you looking for, Wilma? You expecting somebody?

Yes, I am.

Fred, dear, I've been keeping a secret from you.

Really?

Mm-hm. I should have told you sooner, but...

[chuckles]

But you didn't know how I'd take it, right?

Right.

We are going to have a little visitor.

[laughs]

Wilma, honey, I got to confess. I knew it all along.

You did? Uh-huh.

I was outside the window when you were on the phone talking about it.

Oh, Fred, you knew all this time, and you're not mad?

Mad? I'm tickled pink. Yabba-dabba-doo!

I feel so relieved, Fred. If you don't want him, I'll send him back.

Of course, I want... What? Send him back?

[laughing]

That's a good one, Wilma.

When do you expect this little stranger, dear?

Any minute now.

Any minute?

Quick! Do something!

I know. I'll boil some water.

I'll get your slippers. I'll get Barney. No, the doctor. I'll call the doctor.

Fred, for heaven's sake, have you gone crazy?

Keep calm. I'll take care of everything. I've been rehearsing for this minute.

Doctor? Fred Flintstone. Get over here.

Keep cool, honey. Be brave like me.

What's taking that doc so long? I better call again.

For goodness' sake, what's going on in here? I'm trying to get some rest.

[knocking on door]

Who's that?

That must be the little visitor we're expecting.

Let him in, Fred. What?

I said, our little visitor has arrived. Let him in.

I know medical science is doing wonders, but this is ridiculous.

[Arnold] Hello, Mr. Flintstone.

Arnold, go home. This is no place for children at a time like this.

Fred, what are you saying? Arnold is our little visitor.

Arnold... [stammering]

Arnold is our little visitor?

Yes, sirree, and I'm staying two weeks.

And I'm staying for six months.

[babbling]

Pardon me. Does somebody need a doctor here?

Yeah, that 200 pounds of blubber on the floor.

[laughing and babbling]

♪ Flintstones, meet the Flintstones They're the modern stone age family ♪

♪ From the town of Bedrock They're a page right out of history ♪

♪ Someday, maybe Fred will win the fight Then that cat will stay out for the night ♪

♪ When you're with the Flintstones Have a yabba-dabba-doo time ♪

♪ A dabba-doo time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪

♪ We'll have a gay old time ♪♪ Wilma!