03x01 - Dino Goes Hollyrock

[bunniefuu]

[coughing]

[gasps]

[yawns]

[gulping]

Looks good. The kid looks good.

Let's see him at the screen test tomorrow. Stage Five.

[horn honking]

[theme music playing]

[whistle chirps]

[siren wailing]

[whistle chirps]

Sorry, I was late, Barney, but the boss gave me extra work to do.

That's all right, Fred. A job's a job.

Some job.

Anyone who works in a stone quarry has got to have rocks in his head.

[horn honking]

What's the hurry?

I want to get home and see the big fight on television.

[honking continues]

It starts at 7:00.

That should be a real slambangerinee.

Easy, Fred, or we'll have a slambangerinee right here.

This sweater should keep Fred nice and warm.

[bleats] But what about me? I'm gonna freeze to death.

[car approaching]

That must be Fred now.

[doors open, then close]

You wanna go meet him, don't you, Dino?

[yapping]

Well, all right.

[yapping continues]

The paper says it's gonna be the fight of the century.

[yapping continues] No, Dino. No, boy.

No. No, back in the house, Dino!

No! No!

[yapping, then panting] [Fred grunts]

Dino, stop it, get off. Let me up.

Now you cut that out, Dino.

No more, you hear?

That's some sight, Fred. A man and his dino.

Don't stand there. Get him off me.

Yeah. Come, Dino boy.

Heel. Heel. Dino, heel.

[stammers] Ah, it's no use, Fred. I guess his heart's bigger than his heels.

I'm gonna miss the fight.

Yeah, it's almost 7:00.

7:00? Yikes!

Hey. How do you do it, Fred?

I just said it was 7:00, and powwy.

We'll just catch the first round.

[man on TV] Channel 7 Bedrock...

[Fred] Fight's on Channel 14, isn't it?

[Barney] That's it.

[channel changing]

[man] Stay tuned now for The Adventures of Sassie.

Hey, I want to see the fight!

[growls]

What is this? He sits there in front of the TV set and tries to bite me.

Maybe he thinks you're a TV dinner.

No, Fred, he just wants to watch Sassie. It's his favorite program.

Oh, it's his favorite program, huh?

Well, it just so happens that this is my house and that's my TV set.

[Barney] Yeah, but those are Dino's teeth.

[Wilma] Let him watch, Fred.

[boy on TV] Sassie!

Oh, Sassie?

[Wilma] You can go over to Barney's and watch the fight.

Shh!

[barking]

[barking, then panting]

[howling]

[howling]

[Fred] This has gone far enough. I'm just going to...

[growling]

Uh, go over to Barney's house and watch his TV.

[man on TV] And the Champ leads with a left.

Kid Rocco comes back with a right.

The Champ with a right.

And the Kid with a left.

Then...

The Champ with a right.

Some fight, huh, Barney? Yeah, go get him, Champ.

Hello, boys, what are you watching? The fights.

But why aren't you watching The Sassie Show?

We started to, but there was, uh, just too much v*olence.

But I'd like to see that program.

Maybe Wilma's got it on.

If she doesn't, she's got her hand chewed off.

[man] Wow. I think the Champ is hurt.

[sobbing and wailing]

[man] Yes. He does seem to be hurt.

The Kid caught him with a good blow to the nose.

Gee, Mom, we're sure in another terrible fix, aren't we, huh?

We surely are, son.

Gee. If Sassie were only here.

Gee, Mom, look!

It's Sassie!

You won't drop this message, will you, Sassie?

You will bring help, won't you, Sassie?

You are brave, aren't you?

And fearless and courageous?

Then go for help, Sassie.

Back to Sassie in just a minute.

But first a word from our sponsor.

Would you like an autographed photo of Sassie?

[barks]

All you have to do is send in 10 labels from Dino Gro Pet Food.

Go down to your friendly corner grocer's now.

That's right! Go now!

[man] The Champ is down. No, he's up.

Kid Rocco swings a haymaker, and knocks the Champ right out of the ring.

What a punch. It knocked Fred out of the house.

Whoa, Dino!

Slow down, boy.

Whoa, there!

Help!

Runaway dinosaur!

[crashing and clattering]

Hey. What is all this?

All this is exactly 3.50.

But I don't want any pet food.

Well, uh, then feed it to your pet.

[Fred] All right. All right.

[chitters] Thank you.

And here are your, uh, trading stamps.

I'm just not gonna put up with it any longer, Wilma.

Dino has got to go.

Taking over the TV set, squandering my hard-earned money on Dino Gro Pet Food.

You are a nogoodnik, Dino.

You get out of this house and stay out.

Go.

[sniffles]

But, Fred...

Go, Dino.

Out! Out!

But, Fred, Dino really is a sweet thing.

And you know what they say, he's man's best friend.

If Dino's my best friend, I could use some enemies.

I didn't pay for that pet food with chicken feed.

That stuff costs real dough. Yes, but...

Wait a minute. Listen to this.

"Dino Gro announces a search for a talented pet to appear on the Sassie TV series.

The pet must be young, simple, and able to ham it up.

But good.

"A top salary will be paid."

Does that mean you, my pet?

It means Dino. He knows that show cold.

And those animal actors get real do-re-mi money.

Oh, Fred, not Dino.

Sure. Dino is a gold mine.

I could quit my job.

No more long hours with that skinflint boss.

Just sit around and let Dino's dough roll in.

Dino!

Oh, Dino!

Hm. That's funny. He usually tears right in.

Dino!

Oh, Dino!

Well, hello, Dino, old best friend.

What are you doing out in the night air?

Aw. You didn't take my kidding for real, did you, chum?

Just joking, pal. Come on home.

I got some nice hot brontosaurus soup for you.

Let me carry you. You must be tired.

Old pal, old chum, old buddy.

Nothing's too good for good old Dino.

Now, Dino, buddy-buddy, we're gonna teach you some tricks.

You like tricks, don't you?

First, I'll throw a stick and Barney's gonna show how to fetch it.

Arf, Fred, arf.

Fetch, Barney.

Arf, arf.

We'll try another.

Okay, Barney, play dead.

What do you think, Dino?

All right, then. Barney, count to three.

I can't, Fred, I'm dead.

Barney!

Okay. Okay.

Arf! Arf! Arf!

You dig, Dino?

[Dino snoring]

[Barney] Tough luck, Fred.

Looks like you're stuck with a no-talent pedigree.

Well, maybe it won't matter on TV.

Maybe they'll go for his personality.

Good morning, Screen Rocks Television Pictures.

I am sorry. His line is busy.

One moment, please.

All righty, people. Next, please.

Next, please.

I guess that's us.

Let's make it quick. What tricks does he do?

Well, uh, actually...

Can he add a few numbers? Play dead?

Not exactly. Too bad.

He's the right type. We need a character like him.

To do the heavy love scenes with Sassie.

To do the love scenes? That's right.

But he'd have to be able to perform.

Yeah, well, I guess we're out of luck because...

[director] Not bad. Not bad.

Just one thing more. How's his acting?

Huh? Acting? Who?

Can he play dead?

Play dead? No, I'm afraid that he...

[Dino coughing]

[gasps]

[groans]

[gulping]

Looks good. The kid looks good.

Let's see him at the screen test tomorrow. Stage Five.

Your screen test is the biggest thing that'll ever happen to either of us, Dino.

So don't get nervous and ruin everything.

You're not nervous, are you?

Good. Don't get nervous.

But for Pete's sake, fix your hair. It's a mess.

You've got to remember, Dino, one hair out of place, one little slip, one flubbed line and, bluey, no Sassie, no nothing.

You understand?

Now let's see if you've forgotten your part yet.

All you have to do is blow one line, you know, and...

Powwy, blam!

We're washed up.

Okay. Give me a bark.

[barking timidly]

Oh! No, that's wrong, all wrong. You've got to give it more...

[barks]

And fix that hair! We're almost to the studio.

Dino, you know that's not the way the script reads.

Here. Do it the way you did it at home.

[yelping]

No, you're reading it backwards.

Yipe!

Yeah, that's better.

Now, read it right. Fix that hair. And don't get nervous.

[Dino barks, then pants]

[Dino whimpering]

That's more like it.

All you have to keep on your mind, Dino, is that script.

And then you'll stay calm like me.

Hold it, hold it right there, buster.

That's quite all right, my good man, we have an appointment.

What's the name?

Uh, Fred Dino and Flintstone... Fred Flintstone and Dino.

Oh. Oh, yeah, it's okay. Stage Five.

We have to be careful around TV studios, buddy.

A lot of weird characters try to get in.

And things ain't getting any better.

Well, sir, Dino the great is here.

So any time you're ready, roll them.

Who? Oh, yes, the new one.

First, I'd like you to meet the members of our cast.

A pleasure. A pleasure.

First, our little boy actor. He's the nice, warm, lovable kid.

Junior, meet Mr. Flintstone and his pet dino Dino.

You must be kidding.

[director] Dino might get a part in our show.

Big, big deal.

Lovable is just the word.

Uh, and warm, very warm.

And here's the actress who plays his mother.

The simple, unspoiled, homespun type.

Fem, Fred Flintstone and Dino.

Really.

[Fred] We're very pleased to meet you.

Naturally.

And now for our star.

I guess you'd like to meet Sassie.

Sassie!

Oh, Sassie!

Gee, Dino. It's Sassie.

The paw. Kiss the paw.

[Fred] Dino. Down, boy, down. Heel. Heel

[director] Sassie, honey, that's Dino, one of our new performers.

[Sassie] Hm!

Well, that's them.

That's how we're able to do a warm, wonderful, believable show every week.

All right, people, let's do that happy happy-ending scene.

Lights! Camera!

Action!

And I love you, Junior.

And I love Sassie.

And I love you, Mommy.

And I love Sassie.

And look, Mommy, Sassie loves us too, huh?

[director] Cut.

My happy-ending smiles are gonna get pretty sickly, buster, if I don't start getting more close-ups.

[Sassie] Ahem.

Yeah? Yeah?

Uh... they're the greatest kidders.

Uh, so is Dino.

Dino? Oh, yes.

You ready, Dino?

Think you can fit in?

Great. Let's make your screen test.

All righty, people, we'll try it.

Junior, you and Mommy have to get the mortgage loot to the bank on time.

Only, Mom, one foot's caught in a bear trap.

And, Junior, both feet are caught in a bear trap.

And, Sassie, you've got three broken legs.

But remember, folks, you are all happy.

That's right.

Happy.

Because you are together.

How about it? Camera crew ready?

[squawks] Any time you are, chief.

[director] Then roll them.

[squawks] One good thing about TV, it employs artists.

Whoops. Goofed again.

Well, heh-heh-heh, that's show biz. [squawks]

Now, you're all ready to conk out from exhaustion.

So, Junior, you give the mortgage money bag to Sassie.

And, Sassie, you take off.

That's right. Limping and faltering along... dragging your three broken legs.

And then, out of nowhere comes, uh... comes, uh...

What's his name?

Dino. Dino Flintstone.

[director] Dino. To the rescue.

Sassie is burdened.

Dino helps.

She needs shelter from the cold.

Dino provides an instant igloo.

Her good leg bothers her.

Dino comforts.

But most of all, mind you, Dino delivers.

Dino will take the money to the bank.

[crashes]

Then the villain appears.

[laughing villainously]

He grabs the money, but Dino fights for right.

And Dino fights for Sassie.

Yipes!

[barking]

And Dino fights for do-re-mi money.

Dino has saved the day!

And so to the bank.

Cut! He's brilliant.

Dino is brilliant!

But of course.

My, uh, hours of coaching him seem to have paid off.

[director] Come on into my office, we'll talk business.

Now, that's more like it, isn't it, Dino, old chum?

Yes, that's more like it.

Hm. Huh? Uh, just a minute, friend.

Your boy got himself an agent, huh?

No, he doesn't have any agent.

Except me.

He does now. I'll handle him.

But I thought I'd do.

No good, buddy. You'd bollix it up.

He needs a professional manager, me. But, uh...

Don't worry. You'll get 30 bucks a week. Sign here.

$30 a week, huh? That's not so much.

Better than a kick in the head. Sign.

That's the way it's done, huh? The self-same way.

I'll have a word with Dino and tell him you're, uh...

I'll handle that. You just get lost, Jackson.

But, uh...

You want Dino to be a star, don't you? The kind that twinkles on TV?

Sure, but...

So here's your 30 skins. We don't no longer need you. Run along.

You thinking what I'm thinking, Sam? Yeah.

You'll have to make a few changes, right? Yeah.

For instance, his eyes. All wrong. Have to change them.

[director] You mean just the color.

[Sam] Yeah, with contact lenses. Maybe a nice true blue.

[director] How about his teeth? [Sam] I don't know.

Nobody smiles much in your shows, do they?

Not until the last scene, Sam. Then everybody smiles.

Even the bad guy.

[Sam] He'll need his teeth capped. Check.

Otherwise he's in fair shape.

Except for one thing.

Those big freckles?

No, his tail.

So big it'll fight his face for attention.

[director] We'll chop some off. Anything else?

[Sam] How's about publicity?

[director] We'll plant stories in the papers that Dino is in love with Sassie.

[Sam] Great idea.

[director] We'll have Dino will take her everywhere.

[Sam] Like big premieres.

[director] Yes. And supermarket openings.

[Sam] The togetherness bit, huh? [director] Right.

In fact, Dino and Sassie will be together day and night.

Yipes!

Tonight, he'll take her dancing at the Coco Rock Dome.

We can keep this going for years. [Sam] Yeah!

Maybe even longer.

[Betty] How did it go, Fred?

Oh, just great, got a contract and everything.

A contract.

Yeah, they wanted to give me peanuts, but I, uh, negotiated and they had to do business with me.

Oh. Well, then I guess Dino won't be running out anymore and jumping all over you.

Well, that's right. Dino's gone off with the show.

No more knockdowns.

Fred, won't it seem strange without him?

Best thing that ever happened.

No more bones around to trip over.

I'll go tell Barney the news.

I'm glad everything worked out just the way you wanted it.

Yeah. Everything worked out just the way I wanted it.

Fred, what's wrong? You've been moping around all evening.

Oh, nothing.

It's, uh, nothing to do with Dino, is it?

That pest?

Of course not. Good riddance.

I kind of miss him.

Not me.

Especially when I picked up 30 bucks on the deal.

I couldn't be happier.

I'm glad you're so happy, Fred.

But do try to keep down all the loud laughing.

[sniffles]

Gee, Dino, if pictures could talk, I know what you'd say to me.

[Dino yelps] That's right.

You'd say, "So long, Fred, you money-grubbing cheapskate."

[Dino yelps]

You'd say, "I'll call you from Hollyrock, Fred, but don't you... [sniffles]... call me."

[Dino barks]

Hey!

Pictures can't bark.

The only one who can bark like that is...

Dino!

Is it really you?

Sure it is. Come on in, pal.

Wilma! Dino is back!

Barney, Dino is back!

You can sit on the couch and put your feet up, Dino, old friend.

And I'll bring your pipe and your slippers.

And your favorite show's on tonight.

You can sit back and watch it.

[man on TV] And now, stay tuned for The Adventures of Sassie.

No more, Dino?

No more TV stars and bright lights?

What was that you were yelling, Fred? I didn't catch it.

You'd never guess, Barney, but Dino's back.

Oh, you're kidding? Yeah? Well, watch this.

[whistles] Here, boy!

[Dino yapping]

[Fred laughing]

Dino's back. He's back!

Ain't it wonderful?

[theme music playing]

[yawns]

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open this door!

Wilma!