02x10 - Social Climbers

[bunniefuu]

Well, now, gentlemen, I want you to imagine you're at a ball, and you want to ask me for a dance.

Now you try it, Mr. Flintstone. Certainly.

Uh, hiya, baby. How's about shaking a leg with old hot stuff Freddie?

[Ms. Shadrock] Oh, Mr. Flintstone!

I'm surprised you didn't get slapped for an approach like that.

Oh, I did, Miss Shadrock. I got a lot of slaps.

Come to think of it, I got a lot of dancing too.

[Horn honking]

[theme music playing]

[whistle chirps]

[siren wailing]

[whistle chirps]

I sure pulled a boo-boo this morning, Betty.

How come, Wilma?

Oh, I casually mentioned that we were going shopping today to Fred.

Oh, that explains all the screaming and yelling I heard at your place.

I guess the whole neighborhood heard it.

Hm. I guess I'm lucky. I told Barney and he didn't say a word.

He didn't? Not a word.

Just turned white, clutched his throat, gasped a few times, and fainted.

Well, at least Barney is quiet about it.

Fred always turns red, starts screaming, and starts showing me the check stubs.

Ooh, I hate those check stubs.

Me too. They're never right.

The bank never gets their balance the same as my balance.

Fred can never understand that it doesn't matter if we have no money in the bank as long as we have a charge-a-plate at all the department stores.

Oh, all husbands are like that, I guess. I suppose so.

Here we are, Wilma. Bedrock Shopping Center.

Now, to find a place to park. Looks pretty crowded today.

Oh, there's a good parking spot, Wilma. It...

We just passed it. Okay, back up.

[crunching and clattering]

That's good, Wilma. Now, come forward a little.

[crashing and clanking]

How's that, Betty?

Fine. Just straighten the wheels a bit and back up.

Easy. Easy does it.

[crashing]

Attagirl, Wilma! That's perfect.

Thanks, Betty. I couldn't have done it without your help.

Hey, Fred. Hiya, Barney-boy.

I got the tickets for Saturday night, Fred.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

Stay there, Barney. I'll pick you up.

Okay, swing her over.

Welcome aboard, pal, good neighbor, and bosom buddy.

Boy, the girls are always whimpering we never take them anyplace.

Wait till they find out we've got tickets to Joe Rockhead's Volunteer Fire Department ball.

Oh-ho! They'll flip their wigs, Freddie-boy.

And why not?

It's only the biggest social event of the year in Bedrock.

Except that big society shindig, the Ambassador's Reception.

Oh, that's just for the society bunch.

All they do is show off their jewels and gowns.

But the Firemen's Ball...

[laughs]

That's a gasser! Remember last year, Barney?

After you kept going for refreshments and got over-refreshed? [laughing]

Oh, Fred, you promised you'd never remind me about that.

I'm sorry, Barney, but it was funny.

Yeah.

[both laughing]

Let's look around upstairs, Wilma. Okay, there's the escalator.

Ah! It sure beats walking up.

It's easier on the feet.

Oh, look, Wilma.

This is the floor where all the evening gowns are.

Aren't they beautiful?

And they're all imported from across the big pond.

There's a genuine Granitelli sheath.

[Wilma] Don't you just love it?

[Betty] Ooh! And there's that Jackie Kennelrock look.

[Wilma] And there's a low-cut waistline from the House of Crushing Door.

[giggles, then sighs]

We're wasting our time looking at all this stuff, Wilma.

I'll say.

The only place the boys ever take us at night is a ball game.

Yeah, on Ladies Free night and in the bleachers.

Besides, these gowns are so expensive. I know.

And can you imagine the carryings-on of Fred and Barney if we ever came home with evening gowns?

I dread the thought.

Uh-oh, Betty. Hm?

Don't look now, but isn't that Emmy Glutsrock behind you?

How can I tell if I don't look? [Wilma] Well, look, then.

Yeah, that's Emmy Glutsrock. She was in our graduating class.

Well, she's out of our class now. She's rich.

Emmy Glutsrock rich? Loaded.

She married a doctor who struck it rich in real estate and oil wells.

I understand she's always bragging.

Uh-oh, here she comes, over this way.

If she starts bragging, let's put on a little ourselves, Wilma.

Good idea, Betty.

Wilma, Betty!

It's so good to see you girls again.

Hi, Emmy. It's been such a long time.

Too long, girls.

I was saying only this morning to my rich husband, I never see any of my old friends anymore.

Being frightfully wealthy has its drawbacks, you know?

Yes, we know.

Right now, we were looking for some new gowns just to wear around the house.

And we can't find a thing new. We have them all.

Oh, you girls married rich men also? How nice.

Yes, indeed.

My wealthy, rich husband, Frederick Ill, is in the construction business.

Mm-hm. And my wealthy, rich husband, Barney I, is in top-secret work.

Oh! Then you must all come to the Ambassador's Reception, Saturday evening.

Here are the invitations.

I'm in charge of seeing that only the elite of Bedrock get in.

We have to be so careful none of the riff raff attend.

Well, you understand.

Oh, sure. We understand. Oh, sure. We understand.

My rich husband and I will be looking forward to seeing you and your charming, wealthy, rich husbands.

Thanks, Emmy. Yeah. Thanks loads, Emmy.

Well, Mrs. Riff. Yes, Mrs. Raff?

We sure talked our way into a jam. Serves us right, bragging.

My husband, the gravel pit worker, is going to blow his stack.

Barney too.

Say, Betty... [Betty] Hm?

It might be fun to go to that Ambassador's Reception.

Yeah, it might at that.

Once in our life, we deserve to go to a swank affair.

I'll tell you what, Wilma.

Try to convince me, but I must warn you I'm a pushover.

Okay, Betty. Got your charge-a-plate? I have.

Charge it! Charge it!

[sighs] I'm sure glad we're getting home before the boys.

We'll have to figure out a way to break the news to them.

Oh, we shouldn't worry so much. We only live once.

If Fred and Barney knew how much we owe for the gowns we bought, our "live once" would be all over.

[giggles] You're not kidding, Wilma, but it's worth it.

To get a night out first-class once in our life.

I still can't figure how can we get the boys to go.

Well, we'll think of something, Wilma.

I hope.

[laughing]

Won't the girls be surprised when we tell them where we're taking them Saturday night?

Yeah, they probably have no idea they're going to the Firemen's Ball.

Well, uh, see you after dinner, Fred.

Oh, Mr. Flintstone, here's your newspaper.

Okay, boy, let's have it.

Just when I had that kid's curve figured out, he develops an up-sh**t.

Worst of it is now the paper's all mixed-up.

The boys are home, Wilma. I've got to go. See you later. Good luck.

We'll need it.

I just don't know how to bring up the subject of Saturday night.

[door opens]

[Fred] Hey, Wilma, I'm home. Hello, Fred.

You know how you and Betty are always whining you never go anyplace?

I recall the subject arising now and then.

Well, Barney and I are taking you gals out Saturday night to the biggest affair of the season in Bedrock.

Oh, Fred!

Darling, if you only knew what this means to me.

Easy there now, Wilma. No hysterics. Oh! You dear, sweet boy.

I've been sitting here trying to figure out how to bring up the subject to you.

A lot of husbands are taking their wives to the Firemen's Ball.

Uh, to the what?

Joe Rockhead's Volunteer Firemen's ball.

[Wilma wails, then sobs]

Oh, I really should take Wilma out more often. This came as a big shock to her.

Even if it is because you're happy, Wilma, I hate to see you cry.

[sobbing continues]

I'm not happy.

I thought you were taking me to the Ambassador's Reception.

[sobbing continues] The Ambassador's Reception?

That's ridiculous. We couldn't get in there.

That's just by invitation to the upper crust.

But if it were possible to take you, Wilma, you know I would.

"Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Flintstone Ill... are cordially invited to attend the Ambassador's Reception."

How about that for a surprise, Betty? Surprise? It's a shock.

Firemen's Ball?

You've flipped your hook-and-ladder mind.

[phone ringing]

Must be Wilma.

Oh, boy, saved by the bell.

No kidding, Wilma? How did you manage Fred?

[Wilma speaking indistincly]

Yes, I know it's a woman's secret w*apon but I hate to resort to tears.

[Wilma speaking indistinctly] That's right, Wilma.

When you look at it that way, there is no choice.

[Betty wailing and sobbing]

Uh, Betty?

[wailing and sobbing continues] Uh, Betty. What's the matter?

I don't want to go to the Firemen's Ball.

Okay, we'll stay home, Betty.

No! I wanna go to the Ambassador's Reception. [sobbing continues]

Oh. That's a hot one. The Ambassador's Reception.

That's just by invitation for the rich society folks. There's no way that we could ever go, Betty.

Uh, "Ambassador's Reception.

Barney Rubble, Esq. Betty Rubble, esquiress."

Esquire and esquiress?

We've been knighted!

Sir Barney Rubble invited to the Ambassador's Reception.

[laughing]

This is a delicious pterodactyl drumstick, Wilma.

Fred, when we're at the Ambassador's Reception, Betty and I would be mortified if you and Barney make any mistakes in any of the social graces.

Now, look here.

Barney and I are as socially graceful as the next two guys.

I know, Fred.

But Betty and I thought, uh, just to make sure...

We signed you up for a course at the Bedrock Charm School.

[Fred coughing and sputtering]

Charm School? I'm charming enough the way I am!

Everybody in town likes me.

But we paid for the course, Fred. Think nothing of it.

Barney and I will just go down there and charm the Charm School into giving us the money back.

Charm School. This is it, Barney.

Best foot forward now, Barney-boy. Be charming.

Right, Fred. I'll be nonchalant.

Oh, boy, we just reek with charm, huh, Barney-boy?

Quite, old chap. Quite.

Come in, gentlemen.

After you, friend.

Au contrary. After you, buddy.

[Fred] No, after you. [Barney] And I said, after you.

[Fred] You want me to slug you?

You try it, Fred, and I'll give you a fat lip!

I'll give you another chance, Barney. After me.

Gentlemen.

Gentlemen. May I suggest you both come in together?

I can see you just made it in time.

You both need lots of help. We do?

But, lady, all we wanted to do was ask, can we get our money...?

Now just leave everything to us.

Just step into Studio A.

We'll get started with Miss Shadrock.

Well, Frederick, it's your move.

Where's your manners, Barney? We do what the lady says.

[Ms. Shadrock] Well, now, gentlemen, I want you to imagine you're at a ball, and you want to ask me for a dance.

You first, Mr. Rubble.

[Barney] Uh, Miss Shadrock... uh, it's been a nice day. Uh...

Uh, hope it doesn't rain.

[stammering] Aw, shucks, lady. I can't dance.

That's all right, Mr. Rubble.

Now you try it, Mr. Flintstone. Certainly.

Uh, hiya, baby. How's about shaking a leg with old hot stuff Freddie?

[Ms. Shadrock] Oh, Mr. Flintstone!

I'm surprised you didn't get slapped for an approach like that.

Oh, I did, Miss Shadrock. I got a lot of slaps.

Come to think of it, I got a lot of dancing too.

I'm sure amazed how much Barney's manners have improved, Wilma.

Fred too, Betty.

Last night at dinner, Fred held the chair while I sat down.

He hasn't done that since we were going together.

Oh, that's nothing.

Last night, when I was going out to dump the garbage...

Barney jumped up and held the door open for me.

We'll be proud of them at the Ambassador's Reception, Wilma.

Mm. We'll show that snooty Emmy Glutsrock our husbands are as good as her rich husband.

Hurry up, Fred. We don't want to be late for the Reception.

[Fred] Okay, Wilma, I'm ready.

Well, you look very nice, Fred, in white tie and tails.

The white tie's okay, but the tail bugs me.

Come on, Barney. What's keeping you? [Barney] I'll be right there, Betty.

I got my darn tail caught in the door again.

Enter, fair ladies.

My, we're so charming tonight! It's wonderful.

Charm lesson two:

Hold the car door open for the ladies.

[giggling]

And another thing we learned:

If we get a flat, you girls don't have to help fix it.

Well, how charming can you get? Oh! I'm so glad.

That lug wrench always chips the polish off my nails.

[Wilma and Betty laughing]

Ah! The first party crasher.

Au contrary. Here's our invitation.

Mr. and Mrs. Gallstone.

[Fred] That's Flintstone, buster. "Flint."

I still think you have more gall than flint.

Ooh, you are asking for it, Charlie.

Fred, charm. Charm. Be charming.

Oh. [clears throat] Quite right, my dear. We, uh, should ignore the hired help.

[Barney] Here's your ticket, Mac. Not ticket. Invitation.

Hm. Mr. and Mrs. Rubbish.

[Barney] Uh, that's Rubble. Really?

I know it must be a forgery, but it's so good, I'll let you in.

Nice fellow, eh, Betty? [Betty] Very democratic.

If they dare to snap their fingers at me, I'll quit.

Now you boys mingle around with the other guests.

Betty and I are going to freshen up.

Okay, girls. We'll spread our charm around.

[Fred chuckles]

Yeah, we'll have them all charmed by the time you get back.

When I give you the signal, Spike... we'll back these rich guys up to the wall and take their jewels.

Got you, Rocky.

In the meantime, we're waiters.

Yeah, waiting for a chance to be rich. [cackles]

Flintstone? Fred Flintstone. Call me Freddie.

This is my friend Barney Rubble.

I'm Shale Hardrock. I'm in oil.

Well, Shale, for being in oil, you don't look the least bit greasy to me.

[both laughing hysterically]

That's a pip, Fred. He's in oil. But he isn't greasy. You get it?

[both laughing hysterically]

Where did Shale go, Barney?

I don't know, but since he's in oil, he could slide away easy.

[both laughing hysterically]

Oh, we had a wonderful season on the Riviera.

Everyone who is anyone was there. I know, darling.

Noel told me about it at Toulouse's party for Sir Larry.

Millie was there. Would you believe it?

She's going to do that flying thing again on TV.

Mm. Oh... Peter something or other.

That's it. She loves that flying.

Of course, they pay her just scads.

She can't keep a cent in her bracket, you know?

[Emmy] Oh.

Oh, but we're doing all the talking.

Wouldn't you like to say something, Mrs. Flintstone?

Yes. Goodbye.

Well, did you ever! No, I never.

Well, I'm in ladies' corsets.

Oh, boy, what a setup, Fred. Ladies' corsets, eh?

Don't worry. Your secret is safe with us.

[Fred and Barney laughing hysterically]

[Barney] Ladies' corsets! [Fred] That's the best one yet.

Who are those people?

They're not in any of our clubs. Definitely outsiders.

[Fred and Barney laughing hysterically]

Fred?

[Fred] Yes? Yes, Wilma?

We've had enough of this. They're all snobs here.

Barney and I are having a lot of laughs.

This is the deadest affair I've ever been to.

And we want to leave.

But, Wilma, they told us at Charm School that it is the height of bad manners to leave before the guest of honor arrives.

They sure learned their charm lessons, all right.

Yeah, I'm feeling ashamed.

Uh, they said if we don't act like civilized people we could revert back to, uh... if you'll pardon the expression, "caveman days."

Oh, Wilma, the ambassador's arriving.

Good. Now maybe the party will get lively.

[people chattering]

[Betty] He looks like a load of laughs.

Well, that does it.

Fred, we want to go home. And right now.

At Charm School, they said that the success of any social gathering depends on the guests' participation in making the gathering an interesting experience.

They have that manners stuff down pat, Wilma.

What bothers me most is that they're right.

What do you say we liven things up a bit, huh, Barn?

Do you think the crowd would like it? Oh, sure.

Rich or poor, everybody's basically the same.

That's right. Everybody likes a little fun.

What do you think, Wilma?

Hm. Well, okay. Do your stuff, boys.

Lovely reception. So glad you could come.

It's a jolly party.

All the best people are here.

[lively music playing on piano]

Go, go, go, Barney-boy!

It's those two again. What a raucous racket.

It's an insult to the ambassador.

This is an insult to the ambassador.

Simply awful!

How did they get in? Riff raff.

Wilma, the boys aren't getting over.

No, they're not, Betty. Let's help them.

[in unison] Oh, no!

How utterly unspeakable! Overgrown teenagers.

What are we coming to?

I repeat, this is an insult.

This is our big chance to snatch all the jewels, Spike.

Yeah, while those clowns are making all that racket.

Okay, let's go.

All right, youse rich dames, this is a stickup.

Keep quiet and you won't get hurt.

[Spike] Okay, fat cats. Hand over the wallets.

And one word, just one word out of you, shorty, and...

Pow!

You...

[thuds] [Spike] Pow!

[grunting and groaning]

Spike, we overlooked the nutty dames' jewels.

Yeah, Rocky. Let's get them.

[Wilma] Fred! [Betty] Barney!

Okay, you stags. Hand over your jewels.

Gentlemen, what seems to be the difficulty?

Uh, perhaps we can discuss...

Barney, the charm stuff is out. Right, Fred.

Okay, buster. Take this!

[thudding]

And you take this, buddy.

Scandalous. Revolting.

Better call the police. We must keep it out of the papers.

[siren wailing]

All right, crook, in the hoosegow you go.

We've been looking for you two birds.

Well, they started it. Tell it to the judge.

I hope the Charm School doesn't hear of this.

They'll take my diploma back.

They're taking Fred and Barney too, Wilma.

Well, they were rioting.

I hope we can get them out on bail.

Just one moment, officers.

These men saved our money and the ladies' jewels.

They're heroes. Heroes, I say.

[in unison] We are?

And they're members of our social set, our crowd.

[officer] Well, if you say so, Mr. Hardrock.

I certainly do.

Well, that saves my Charm School diploma.

[people laughing and chattering]

That was a great idea to come here, Fred.

We're sure having a good time.

I knew you'd like it better here.

And so does the rest of our crowd.

I haven't had so much fun since United Steel raised its dividend.

You sure shake a mean leg, toots. [laughing]

This is a real swinging party.

Like I said, people are the same all over.

All they want is a little fun in their life, and a little life in their fun.

Yabba-dabba-doo!

[all laughing]

[theme music playing]

[yawns]

Wilma!

Wilma!

Come on, Wilma, open the door!

Wilma!