05x06 - You've Pushed Me Too Far

[bunniefuu]

♪ One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight ♪

♪ Schlemiel, Schlimazel,
Hasenpfeffer Incorporated. ♪

♪ We're gonna do it! ♪

♪ Give us any
chance, we'll take it ♪

♪ Read us any
rule, we'll break it ♪

♪ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ♪

♪ Doin' it our way ♪

♪ Nothin's gonna
turn us back now ♪

♪ Straight ahead
and on the track now ♪

♪ We're gonna make
our dreams come true ♪

♪ Doin' it our way ♪

♪ There is nothing
we won't try ♪

♪ Never heard the
word "impossible" ♪

♪ This time there's
no stopping us ♪

♪ We're gonna do it ♪

♪ On your mark,
get set and go now ♪

♪ Got a dream and
we just know now ♪

♪ We're gonna make
that dream come true ♪

♪ And we'll do it our
way, yes, our way ♪

♪ Make all our
dreams come true ♪

♪ And we'll do it our way ♪

♪ Yes, our way ♪

♪ Make all our
dreams come true ♪

♪ For me and you. ♪

It's time to exercise with Eric.

Good morning, ladies.

Good morning, Eric.

And here comes man's
best friend, my dog Hercules.

- Good morning, Hercules.
- Hi, Herc.

Oh, isn't he cute in his
little doggie sweatpants?

Eric's a sick man
to do that to a dog.

Let's start right
off with a toughie.

Let's all join
Hercules on the floor.

Now sit.

Sit.

Well, I-I'll sit, but I'm not
going to roll over and beg,

I'll tell you that.

I want you to put your
right leg on your left thigh.

And put your left leg
on your right thigh.

Come on, you can do it, ladies.

No, I can't.

- Extend your right arm through the legs...
- I can't.

Coming up and
attach to your right calf.

What? Is he crazy?

What's with this guy?

Now extend your left arm
through the legs coming up

and attach to your left calf.

Oh, oh! oh!

I did it! I did it! I...

Look at me, I did it!

So? Big deal!

Even Hercules did it.

Ha, ha... So, you
got a dog body.

You proud of the fact that...?

I am certainly proud
of that, I sure am.

- Yeah, well, I can do it, too.
- Oh, yeah...

I just got to go change.

- My underpants is too tight...
- Oh!

Wait a minute,
wait just a second.

What?

I seem to be stuck,
and in tremendous pain.

Yeah? Well, I bet
the dog ain't stuck.

Oh, do you find this amusing?

Yeah, dog body.

Oh, now you're making
dog sounds, okay...

- Okay...
- My legs are cramping, oh...

Okay, well, let me
try and help you ou...

Okay, there you
go, there you go.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, my legs!

My legs are in a knot.

They're cramping
to beat the band.

All right, give me your
hands, give me your hands.

Okay.

You really think that
this is going to work?

- I'm really...
- I'm trying, ain't I?

- I'm trying.
- This is not working.

- Kick out, kick out!
- I'm telling you. It's not...

Girls, girls, come
upstairs quick!

I need help!

- I need help.
- I'm fine.

Lenny and Squiggy
are fighting again!

You think I'm
kidding, don't you?

You think I'm
kidding, don't you?

No, I don't think
you're kidding.

Wait a minute!

And then I'm going to slash
your iguana from ear to ear.

If Jeffrey receives so much
as a paper cut at your hands,

your moths are dead meat, buddy!

Moths ain't meat, pal!

Ooh!

Ooh... All right.

Your moths.

Your... Iguana.

Now, aren't you
ashamed of yourselves?

Huh? Huh?

Come on, let's see some shame.

- Lenny, what started the fight?
- What fight?

- The...
- Oh, this fight!

Well, why didn't you say so?

Look, Squiggy wanted me
to go outside and trick people

into standing in the
alley under the window

so he could b*mb them
with water balloons... great!

But the next thing I know,
this creep was hitting me

with water balloons,

and mustard balloons, and
peanut butter and jelly balloons...

Peanut butter
and jelly balloons?

Oh, that's terrible.

Is this true?

Well, probably.

But you got to understand
something, Shirl.

I'm... possessed.

He's possessed.

- I am possessed.
- Possessed?!

- I'm not kidding you.
- You're not possessed.

I don't know what it is, but...

oh, every time I get
near a water balloon,

some devilish urge
covers up my arm.

And I just grab
the water balloon

no matter what's next to me.

Bullseye!

I don't believe he did it again!

- I'm sorry.
- I don't believe it!

All right, now, no more
hammers, no more knives,

and no more yelling, all right?

- All right.
- All right.

Just remember the old saying,
"You can't shove anything

into a closed mouth."

That's, oh, so
very wise, Laverne.

Yeah, I read it in
a Bazooka comic.

Really?

You ignorant pea-brain!

Embarrassing me,
airing our dirty laundry

in front of our most
respected of neighbors!

Don't start!

It's your dirty
laundry, pig face.

Pig face!

Hey, didn't you hear
anything we said?

What did I do?
I'm not kidding you.

He started it.

Bring him in!

I'll get an ambulance!

Lenny, are you all right?

I landed in a garbage can.

Oh! It's a miracle!

Lenny lives!

Oh.

Lenny, don't
worry about a thing.

Believe me, you'll be safe.

They don't pick up the
garbage until Tuesday.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly
good fellow... ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny. ♪

All right, Lenny! What a guy!

You guys are really
swell, you know that?

I mean, I should break a
leg more often, ha, ha, ha.

- Nah.
- Nah.

Don't do that.

It was just a lucky
thing for you you landed

in that garbage can.

Oh, listen, I've
been lucky all my life.

Garbage has always been
there when I've needed it.

Hey, come on, we
got a party here.

Let's enjoy it. Give
him his present.

My what?! My what?!

- We got you a present!
- I-I can't believe this.

You'll like this, Len.
Wait till you see it.

Yeah, we chipped in
and got you a present

from the Green Stamp store.

Aww.

And, well, Shirl here
did all the licking.

Okay, Len, here
you go. Huh? Huh?

Oh... it's perfect.

Huh?

A long piece of wood.

There you are! Geez!

I can't believe it, I
thought the party was up

at my place, you know,
so I've been waiting

for the last two hours
like a jerk in a closet

waiting to say "Surprise!"

- Oh, boy, huh?
- You're an idiot, you know that?

The joke's on me.
Two hours in a closet.

Hey, Len.

Ooh, you've moved
up in the world.

Last time I seen you,
you was in a garbage can.

That figures. Garbage can, huh?

- Two hours in a closet...
- I know, in a closet.

Oh, Lenny. Lenny?

Lenny?

I got a get well
present for you.

Oh, a present! Another one!

Another present, that's right.

Remember that baby picture
of me you loved so much?

Well, I went out and
decided to get it framed.

- And here it is, for you.
- Ohh.

I haven't changed
that much, have I?

- Isn't that sweet, Len?
- Look at that.

Lenny, what are you doing?!

All right, all right, we'll
get rid of the frame,

I'll give it to you plain.

Get him out of here,
get him over there.

- Stop that!
- I don't understand.

- What's the matter with you?
- Calm down!

My mother was right, I
did make for an ugly baby.

Well, that's true,
but I think, uh,

this has more to do with
being pushed out a window.

Uh, look, Squig...

uh, can you stay somewhere
else a couple of days, you know,

until Lenny cools off?

- Sure, I'll stay here.
- No, no!

Squig, not here, not here!

- Not here?
- No.

Another place.

Well, I could stay at my
Uncle Elliot's wax museum.

Perfect. You'll like it there.

Say, Lenny, um... why
don't you give me a call

when you come back
to your senses, okay?

Hey, Squiggman, you ain't
going to get no call from me.

You ain't my friend no more,
I don't want to see you again.

Hi, Shirl. Hey,
what are you up to?

Well, I thought I might have
a little lunch with you today.

Great.

- And we can have a chat.
- Okay.

Here's your soup.

Here's your
sandwich, right there.

- Oh, um, Shirl?
- Mm-hmm?

- You know, I wanted a B.L.T.
- Well...

that's it, right there...
Bacon, lettuce and tomato.

Yeah, I wanted Bosco,
licorice, and Turkish taffy.

Do you want me to go
downstairs and melt some taffy

on that sandwich for you?

- I will.
- No, no, it's okay.

- I'll, I'll experiment.
- Okay.

I'll just eat it with my soup.

- This ain't half bad.
- Here we go.

One thing at a time.

- Please, Lenny, please.
- Thank you.

- Thank you, thank you very much.
- We'll just tie it.

There you go.

Bacon on a sandwich. Huh!

Bon appetit.

Yeah, you, too.

Not half bad.

Isn't it interesting how... how
God made each human being

unique unto himself?

Yeah.

- I'm going downstairs.
- Okay.

Now, before I go, is
there anything you want?

Yeah, uh, uh, could I
have a sponge bath?

Yeah, well, Carmine
will be up here at 4:00

to give you a sponge bath.

No, he'll just do
what he did last night.

What?

Well, he came up here
with rubber boots on,

he hosed me down.

Well, gee, Lenny,
you know, I really can't.

Please?

- No, I've got to go down...
- Just the foot, just the foot.

Okay? Just a little
foot... It's a little foot...

All right, okay.

- Thanks.
- Okay, I'll be a sport.

- Where's the stuff?
- It's in the bathroom.

Oh!

Oh, no!

Oh, Heaven, help me.

I've been hoping
to avoid that room.

All right, okay, I knew this
would happen sometime.

I'm going in there.

Well, just stay low,
and you'll be okay.

Okay...

Just give you that sponge
bath, that's what we'll do.

I won't think about any of this.

- Oh, boy, all right.
- Here we go.

Here we go, Leonard.

Mmmm... Lenny, may I remind you

that this is strictly
for medical purposes.

Yeah, I know,
you just kind of hit

my pleasure
center there, though.

I'll try to control myself.

- Make sure you do.
- Okay.

- Okay, that does it.
- I'm s...

One more moan out of you,

and it's back to the
rubber boots and hose.

You understand?

- Yeah, okay.
- Okay.

Ohhhh!

Okay, that's it!

- The bath's over.
- I'm so...

I'm going downstairs
to disinfect my hands.

Now remember, that is your
soup, this is your bath water.

- Okay?
- Gotcha.

- Oh, listen, Shirl?
- What is it?

Could you do me one more favor

- before you go?
- What, what, what?

I want you to help me
burn those suitcases.

What for?

Well, inside there is all
the stuff that used to belong

to Squiggy... I want
to get it out of here.

Oh, Lenny, Lenny, I
myself have often thought

that many of
Squiggy's possessions

should be cleansed by fire.

But, uh, you know, I think
that this is overreacting.

You see, what happened
was an accident.

Oh, come on, it's not
that simple anymore.

You know, when I was
lying there in the hospital,

I started thinking
of all the other times

that Squiggy pushed me around.

Well, this time he just
pushed me a little bit too far.

Yeah, but Lenny the point
is, you must forgive and forget.

You have to think of
all the happy times.

Ohhhh...

All the fond memories, all
the merry mischief-making.

You want merry mischief?

Last week, Squiggy
bought a new razor.

He wanted to try it out?

So, he waits until I'm asleep,
then he shaves my legs.

- You want to see? You want to see?
- No, no, no...

- No, I'm sure, quite certain.
- Come on, you positive?

Uh, no, uh, the
point is, that...

Lenny, listen to
me for a moment.

No, no, look at me,
and listen to me.

At the same time?

I know that there is

an intelligent human
being behind those eyes.

No...

You! You're the intelligent
human being, you imbecile!

Oh, Lord, give me strength.

Thank you, Lord. Thank you.

The point is, Lenny,

that all best friends
have their little spats.

Why, Laverne and I have
had hundreds of spats.

Ones that even
you can relate to.

For instance, about a
year ago I came home,

and I found Laverne
hemming a dress.

The fiend.

- No, no, no, no, no, no...
- That's not it?

The point is, the thing
that hurt me was, well...

She was using Boo
Boo Kitty as a pincushion.

What's a pincushion?

Well, here you go, Len.

I cut off and sewed
up a pair of your pants,

so you have something
better to wear until you heal.

Here you go.

Gee, thanks a million,
Laverne. That's real nice.

Ah...

What did you use for a
pincushion, hmmmm?

You never forget
nothing, do you?

So, how's...

I'll just stand over here.

You know, these are
attractive and practical, Laverne,

but, uh, I can't wear them.

Why not?

Well 'cause they're Squiggy's.

Aw, gee, and I worked
so hard on them.

Well, look, we'll just put
them over there with all

the other stuff I
want you to take back

to the wax museum
for me, would you?

Why would I go to
the wax museum?

To drop that stuff
off, and to tell Squiggy

he's never setting
foot in this place again,

and to tell him I'm tired
of him pushing me around

- and calling me names...
- Wait a minute, Len.

Who died and made
me Western Union, huh?

What?

Well, if you've got
something to say to Squiggy,

then you tell him yourself.

You know something, Lenny,
she is absolutely, 100% right.

Oh, okay, okay.

Fine, I'll handle it myself,

I don't need the two of you.

This is between me and him.

You're right. Come on, Shirl.

Oh... Okay, you're on your own.

Yeah, and that's
the way I want it, too.

That's me, the Lone Wolf.

Yeah, a man alone.

Independent!

I need a lift down there, girls.

Could-Could you help me out?

Squiggy!

Squig?

Same hair, but
you're better looking.

Oh, this ain't such a bad place.

Could have fun
in a place like this.

Oooh, except for this.

Whoever invented this must've
had one weird, twisted mind.

- Hello.
- Hi.

Oh! Don't ever do
that to me again.

You almost scared
the pants off of me.

All in a day's work, Laverne.

- Want to help me up, huh?
- Huh?

Oh, I'm sorry,
you're such a girl.

You can't even get
up by yourself. Gee!

Nice hump.

Thank you.

Is that for business
or for pleasure?

Well, it's kind of a
little bit of both, see?

See, my Uncle Elliott says
I could stay here for free,

as long as I stand like a dummy
during the business hours.

I won't say it, it's too easy.

Uh... look, uh,

all your stuff is in
these suitcases,

and Shirley's helping
Lenny out of the car, and...

Is he here to ask me to
move back in with him?

Look, I don't want
to get involved.

What am I doing wrong?

Look, ask Len, okay?

Oh, come on.

Don't touch me anymore.

Give me a hint.

A little hint.

I didn't want to get involved,
and now I'm getting involved.

I'm just sick of this.

It's just a coincidence,
I promise you.

It's just a coincidence,
it don't, um...

Here, sit down there.

All right, now give me
the hint, would you?

Give me the hint.

Okay... ooh!

Don't scare me like
that, just give me the hint.

Okay. You treat him like dirt.

Aw, come on, Laverne.

Dirt is the only way
I know how to treat.

Then change.

Well, how am I
supposed to change?

I mean, what do you
want me to do with Lenny,

tuck him into bed, and
kiss him good night, and...

No, I wouldn't make
anyone do that.

Good.

Uh, all I'm saying is

that after you treat him like
dirt, since that's the only way

- you know how to treat someone...
- Yeah, right?

Then pick him up, dust him
off, and then apologize to him.

What?

Apologize to him.

Ap-apologize to him?

A... apologize?

Apologize?!

Apolo... I can't
apologize, it's unnatural.

Well, you could try.

Oh, what, and lose my style?

No way.

Okay.

Then live alone, buddy.

Apologize. That'll be the day...

Hello there, Len.

I-I just wanted
to tell you that...

well, I'm awful sorry for
some of the terrible things

I did and said to you.

And um, well,

you'll always be my best friend.

Boy, I... I can talk big
to a capitated dummy,

but I could never...
apologize to Lenny.

- Hey, Squiggman?
- Yes, Len?

- Over here.
- Oh, sh**t!

Have you been spying on me?

No, I've been avoiding you.

What's with these suitcases?

Your clothes are here
'cause I want them here.

Hey, hey, hey, don't
get bossy, all right?

It's unattractive.

Fine, I'll just get
out of here, for good.

But before I do, I
want to know one thing.

Are you my best
friend, or... or what?

What?

Forget it.

No, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute, wait a minute.

Okay.

Yes.

Yes, what?

Yes, sir?

Well, if you're my best friend,

you sure don't act
like it sometimes.

Uh, oh... Hey, Lenny,
how's your accident?

- It's getting better.
- It is?

Yeah, I'll live.

Okay.

You know, in all the
confusion and everything,

I, uh, I forgot to tell you

I was sorry I threw
you out the window.

Yeah, that hurt.

Well, naturally.

It was three stories.

No, I mean it hurt you
didn't say you were sorry.

Well, I promise...

The next time I
give you a accident,

you're the first
person I think of.

Gee... And that,
Lenny, is the truth.

As God is my waitress.

Stupid!

Look at this guy!

Oh!

I'm sorry, Lenny, I'm sorry...

Hey, you know, you
got to sign my leg now.

You gonna let me sign your leg?

Oh, your leg, I'll sign your...

Awwww... LENNY
AND SQUIGGY: Oh...

Uh, I think we got company.

Yeah, anyway, this is... this
is what, uh, Chico Rodriguez

was doing to Bobo Brazil
in the wrestling match

I was telling you about, yeah...

I wish I had seen
that... A real battle

between two he-men
like that, yeah.

Yeah, you can't fool us,
we know you made up.

Aww, I think it's so sweet.

Why don't we give you
a ride home in the car?

Okay.

As long as you don't
hug in the back seat.

Will you stop?

Oh Shirl, wait a second, I
want to show you what happens

- when I sit in this chair.
- What?

Just like old times, huh, Len?

What are you doing?

- Who stepped on my foot?
- Squiggy, stop that!

Those ungrateful pickle-heads!

I think in their
own strange way,

it was their way
of saying thanks.

Yes.

Well, a simple thank you
note would have sufficed.

♪ We're gonna do it ♪

♪ On your mark,
get set and go now ♪

♪ Got a dream, and
we just know now ♪

♪ We're gonna make ♪

♪ That dream come true ♪

♪ And we'll do it our way ♪

♪ Yes, our way ♪

♪ Make all our dreams ♪

♪ Come true ♪

♪ For me and you. ♪