01x06 - The Deadly Dares

[bunniefuu]

(Bill Haley and the Comets) ♪ One,
two, three o'clock, four o'clock rock

♪ Five, six, seven
o'clock, eight o'clock rock

♪ Nine, ten, eleven
o'clock, twelve o'clock rock

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ Put your glad
rags on, join me, hon

♪ We'll have some fun
when the clock strikes one

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock
strikes two, three, and four

♪ If the band slows
down, we'll yell for more

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

(guitar solo)

♪ When the chimes
ring five, six, and seven

♪ We'll be right
in seventh heaven

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock, till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight

♪ When the clock strikes
twelve, we'll cool off then

♪ Start a-rockin'
'round the clock again

♪ We're gonna rock
around the clock tonight

♪ We're gonna rock,
rock, rock till broad daylight

♪ We're gonna rock, gonna
rock around the clock tonight ♪

(playing "Hound Dog")

One child, please.

Come on.

(♪ slow music playing)

Hiya, I'm Potsie.

How about you and
me doin' a slow bop

and then headin' out
for the submarine races?

Drop dead.

Maybe some other time.

Didn't wanna
dance with you, huh?

She wasn't my type. Let's blow.

OK.

Oh, hey, Bag.

I'm surprised to see you here.

I had a date with Carol Dronsky,

but she came down
with the Asiatic flu,

so I came here lookin'
for a replacement.

Hi. I'm Bag.

Wanna go to a Demon party?

I'd love to.

Hey, you guys,

uh, don't drink too
much lemonade.

I wonder why a girl like
that would go out with Bag.

Are you kiddin'? She's not goin'
with Bag. She's goin' with a Demon.

You put on a Demon
jacket, and it's like date bait.

Yeah, I guess the girls
think they're pretty cool.

Potsie Webber, date bait.

I'm tellin' you, Rich,
we should try to join.

Potsie, you keep
saying that, but...

Do you wanna be a nerd or
a-a cool guy with the chicks?

I-I don't think
they'd let us in.

They might if we had the
right guy to recommend us.

Who?

(snaps fingers) Fonzie
used to be a Demon.

(engine sputters)

Come on, baby.

(engine sputters)

OK, this time. This time.

(engine sputters)

Aaaay.

What's the matter, you
don't love me anymore?

Didn't I just buy you
new spark plugs, huh?

Don't you get the best oil, huh?

(engine sputters)

Oh, hey, I'm sorry.
Hey, I lost my head.

Hey, Fonz.

Aaaay.

How much do you weigh?

.

Good. Get on.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey...

I didn't say play Marlon Brando.

Just jump on the starter.

Oh, sure, Fonz.

Fonzie, you were in the
Demons once, weren't you?

Yeah. Do it again.

As a matter of fact,
keep doin' it till I say stop.

Come here. What's up?

Well, we were thinking

about trying to get
into the Demons.

Oh, man, why do you want
to do somethin' like that?

They're a bunch of bananas.

The girls really
seem to go for 'em.

You don't gotta be a Demon
to get girls. Look at me!

Yeah, but Fonzie, I mean...
we're not as cool as you are.

True.

We were wonderin'
if you'd help us get in.

Hey, it's one thing

doin' somethin'
stupid on your own,

but don't ask me to help.

Fonzie, you're the only person

who can help us
get into this club.

Well, seein' how you got
your little heart set on it,

all right.

Thanks, Fonzie. Really.

No sweat.

H-Hey, Fonz. Could
I ask one more favor?

Sure.

Can I stop now?

Hey, don't knock yourself out.

Thanks.

Hey, listen, thanks
again, Fonzie.

Yeah.

Hey!

How much do you weigh?

Mom, Dad won't let me paint.

Howard.

She keeps putting s
in the number- space,

a-and now Blue
Boy has yellow eyes.

It's her painting.

If she wants him to
have yellow eyes...

Gainsborough put
all those nice little s

in his eyes for a reason.

Mom, do you have
my chinos ready?

All ready, dear. Great, thanks.

You got a big night
tonight, Richie?

Oh, uh, no. I'm just
going to a meeting

at the Demons' clubhouse.

The Demons?

It's just this club that Potsie
and I are trying to get into.

What kind of boys would belong
to a club called the Demons?

They're just high
school boys, Marion.

I hear they got a
pretty stiff hazing.

'Course, nothin'
like a college frat.

Richie, you use good sense.

Don't let 'em talk you
into doing anything

you don't wanna do.

I won't, Dad. I
better get going.

I don't want to be late. See ya.

All right, dear.

All finished.

Good.

Now you put the s in
the number- spaces.

I used up all my
s in the spaces.

I'm going out and
watch Milton Berle.

He wouldn't put
a in a space...

Not even for a laugh.

Your father is such a jokester.

Ohh.

Well?

Very nice, dear.

O great high Demon,

the initiates are present.

The tribunal is ready
to hear your petition.

Hey, uh, could we cut
out the humbo jumbo?

I got a date.

Now, repeat after
the high Demon.

Did I tell you to
raise your hand yet?

OK.

Now, uh, raise your hand.

I do solemnly
swear never to reveal

what shall come to
pass in this house...

Even under penalty of death

or getting a knuckle sandwich.

(both) Do solemnly
swear never to reveal...

what shall come to
pass ...what shall come...

Oh, yeah! To pass!

In this... under this
roof... in this room...

In this house...
No, house. Home...

(whistles)

I, uh, I think they
got the drift, hmm?

OK, that was close enough.

All right. You may be seated.

Who has brought
forth these initiates?

Who do you think brought
'em here... Eisenhower?

Come on, Fonz.

OK, OK, don't get
yourself into tears here.

It is I, Demon Fonzarelli,

who has brought
forth these two guys.

Thank you, Fonz.

(clears throat)

Richie Cunningham...

if you are accepted as a Demon,

what contributions can you make?

Well, uh, uh, I'm a hard worker,

and I'm an honor
student, and, uh,

and also a pretty
good basketball player.

That's... that's thrilling.

That's wonderful. We
always wanted a club dribbler.

(clears throat) Potsie Webber.

Uh, yes, sir.

"Potsie Webber"? What
kind of name is this?

Well, they call me Potsie
because when I was a young boy,

I used to like to
make things with clay,

and one day, my
mother called me "Potsie."

I never knew that. Oh, yeah.

You know that lumpy
ashtray in the living room?

I remember you
talking about that.

Can we discuss
arts and crafts later?

Potsie, why should
we let you be a Demon?

Well, as you can
see, I'm a nice guy,

and I know a lot of jokes.

Let's hear one.

Sure, uh... (clears throat)

Knock, knock.

(deep voice) Who's there?

(normal voice) Sarah.

(deep voice) Sarah who?

(normal voice) Sarah doctor
in the house? (is there a)

(laughing)

Oh, boy.

Was my joke that bad?

I don't know. Where'd they go?

To vote on you. And I don't
think it's gonna be a landslide.

Congratulations.

You made it
through the first step.

That's great!

Oh, yeah! When do
we get our jackets?

You guys ain't full members yet.

First, we have to find out if
you're really Demon material,

and there are six little
things you gotta do first.

What kind of little things?

Oh, we like to call
them "the deadly dares."

OK, you gotta make
some phone calls.

You do this one.

Are you sure?

I did this when I
was in seventh grade.

Hey, are you gonna be long?

As long as it takes.

(dialing)

Hello. Olde English
Tobacco Shop?

Do you have Prince
Albert in a can?

(mouths words) You better
let him out before he suffocates.

Now, do it just like we planned
so nothing can go wrong.

Well...

(clears throat)

Marsha, over here, quick!

(horn honks)

Aah! Oh, help! No!

Aah! Oh, help! Help!

Oh! Oh, it was horrible.

I was att*cked.

It was those kids.

There must have been of them!

If we pull this off,

we'll be legends
in our own time.

Potsie, we can't tell
anybody we did this!

All, right. We'll be
anonymous legends.

It's almost time.

Mr. Crenshaw is always on time.

... ... ... ... .

(bell rings)

Boys! Boys! No
skating in the hall!

(laughter)

(train whistle blows)

Oh, look at that thing!

(elephant trumpets)

Hey, this is neat!

You ain't here to
watch the pictures.

Oh!

♪ My country 'tis of thee

♪ Sweet land of
liberty ♪ Of thee I sing...

Hey, come on. Stand up.

You're Americans...
sing! Stand up! Sing!

♪ ...d*ed ♪ Land
of the pilgrim's pride...

What's going on?

It's Richard and Potsie.

Hi, Richie! Hi, Potsie!

(laughs)

♪ ...ring ♪ My
country 'tis of thee ♪

(sighs)

Just sit here, dear,
and I'll get some aspirin.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I don't know what
gave me the headache...

Your singing or those giant
lizards leaping at my throat.

I didn't mean to embarrass you.

I... I had no idea
you'd be in there.

They're making you and
Potsie do some pretty silly things.

I know.

Have you given any thought to
the idea that maybe it's not worth it?

It's just that girls seem
to be so impressed

by guys who are in
the Demons, you know?

And Potsie and I
have gotten this far.

It's your decision, Richard.

It just seems to me that
girls who are impressed

by jackets with
"Demons" written on it

might not be worth impressing.

Well, Dad, Potsie and
I really want to do this.

You do what you think is right.

Thanks, Dad.

(man) It must have been a
terrible experience, Miss Simms.

Oh, yeah.

There were lips all over me.

I only wish I could have
caught those animals in the act.

Yeah, so do I.

By the way, you
can call me Marsha.

I'm not sure that being a Demon

is worth trying
something like this.

Don't worry, Rich.

When it's over,
we'll laugh about it.

I really don't think I
should go out with you.

Why not?

Well, we hardly know each other,

and after everything
that happened,

I don't want you to
think I'm an easy date.

Marsha, I respect you.

You do?

You were just a victim
of juvenile delinquency.

Yeah, I guess so.

I've gotta get back to my b*at.

Here's some money for the soda.

Police don't have to pay.

I'm an honest cop.

You won't see me sweatin' on TV

in front of that
Kefauver Committee.

Now, here's some
money for the soda,

and here's a little
somethin' extra for yourself.

Thank you.

What about tonight?

Sure. If you can't
trust a policeman,

who can you trust?

Right.

I'll see you tonight, ma'am.

I'll look forward to it.

Aah! Aah! (indistinct)

I knew it! All men are animals!

Well, you're doi" pretty good.

One more dare, and you're in.

Yeah, well, it was pretty
rough, but, uh, we can cut it.

Good, 'cause this next
one is really gonna show

whether you're man
enough to be a Demon.

(Marion and Joanie talking)

(Marion) Now, these are
your father's favorite cookies.

You want him to
have some, don't you?

(Joanie) I'd rather give
'em to Stanley Kimmel.

Good night, Dad.
Oh, good night, son.

(Joanie) I thought we were
gonna make the puddings.

(Marion) We can do both.

When I was a little girl, I
used to help my mother.

Did she tell you not
to eat the raisins?

I never liked raisins.

Now...

This is better than sewing, Mom.

See, you put two
little raisins for eyes,

and then your
gingerbread man is finished.

Marion... And
here's his bellybutton.

He doesn't need
a bellybutton, dear.

Take your finger
out of his little tummy.

Look, Mom and I made a
gingerbread man. Isn't he beautiful?

Yes, and speaking of beautiful,
did you happen to notice our son?

And right now I'm
using the term loosely.

Yes, didn't he look cute? Cute?

It took me almost an hour
to get his makeup like that.

You mean, you helped him
to go out looking like that?

Yes, dear. This is part of
his initiation into the Demons.

When I was
initiated into a club,

all I had to do was to
swallow a few live goldfish.

You mean you ate those
poor little things alive?

Joanie, we're not talking
about goldfish now.

What we're talking about is why
my son is out there walking the streets

looking like Doris Day.

Ate those itty-bitty fish alive.

He has to go to the sock hop

and stay there until
somebody dances with him.

Well, the way he looks, he's
gonna be there until he's an old lady.

Oh, dear, where are you going?

We-We haven't finished yet.

I'm gonna go hide my goldfish.

(♪ band playing "All Shook Up")

What took you so long?

Do you know how long it
takes to put on mascara?

This is really embarrassing.
What could be worth all this?

Well, I'm embarrassed, too.

How do you think I felt asking
my sister to borrow mascara?

Yeah, at least it'll
all be over soon.

Oh, I hope so.

This is really dumb.

Yeah.

(♪ slow music)

Oh, brother.

Wallflower, let's dance.

(blowing)

(blowing)

Fonzie...

Fonzie...

It's me... Richie.

See, this is all a part
of the Demons' initiation.

I knew that. I knew
that all the time.

You did?

Yeah. I was just trying to help
you out, you know what I mean?

Oh, hey, thanks.

Yeah, well, don't
bother thankin' me.

Just b*at it so no one sees
me standin' here talkin' to you,

you know what I mean?

Hey... dance.

Don't ask.

(music continues)

Well, now we're Demons.

Now we'll have the jackets.

And the secret handshake.

And the girls.

Oh, yeah. The girls.

Man, I'm really happy.
Aren't you, Rich?

Oh, sure.

I mean, we got it made.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

(sighs) (sighs)

What's the matter?

I'm not happy.

I don't even particularly
like Bag or Hank.

Fonzie's right.

All the Demons are bananas.

Why should we join
a bunch of bananas?

Who needs 'em? Not us!

You're right!

Right!

(sighs) Hey, Rich?

Yeah? Now I'm happy.

Me too.

(knock on door)

Come on in, Dad.

Hi, fellas.

Well, how'd it go tonight?

Did you get somebody
to dance with you?

Yeah... Fonzie. Fonzie, huh?

Of all the guys at the dance,
you had to pick a dropout.

Come on, Dad.

Well, at least
you're Demons now.

Well, that's what
you wanted, wasn't it?

Well... we decided
not to join, Mr. C.

You mean to say that
you spent a whole week

making fools out of yourselves,

and now you don't want to join?

We just realized that any
girls who were impressed

just because a guy
had a Demon jacket on...

wasn't really worth impressing.

Hmm. Makes sense.
I wish I'd said that.

Well, I better be takin' off.

I turn back into a
Potsie at midnight.

Good night.

Good night, Potsie.
See you later.

Oh, hi, Joanie.

Hi, Potsie. Cute outfit.

Thanks.

How come you guys are still up?

Private conversation, Joanie.

Go on back to bed.

Dad thinks you
look like Doris Day.

Joanie... bed, please?

But I think you look
more like My Little Margie.

(both) Good night, Joanie.

Good night.

You know what? I
paid $ for this dress.

I sort of hate to
just throw it out.

Why don't you save it? Maybe
Joanie can wear it in a few years.

Wait a minute!

I'm not wearin' my
brother's hand-me-downs!

♪ Happy days ♪

♪ Hello, sunshine, goodbye, rain

♪ She's wearin' my
school ring on her chain

♪ She's my steady, I'm her man

♪ I'm gonna love her all I can

♪ This day is ours

♪ Won't you be mine?
♪ These happy days

♪ This day is ours

♪ Oh, please be
mine ♪ Oh, happy days

♪ Happy days ♪