01x08 - Cruise Ship

[bunniefuu]

[Beginning theme music]

-♪ Some people stand
in the darkness ♪

♪ Afraid to step
into the light ♪

♪ Some people need
to help somebody ♪

♪ When the edge of
surrender's in sight ♪

♪ Don't you worry

♪ It's gonna be all right

♪ 'Cause I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you
out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready

♪ I'll be ready

♪ Never you fear

♪ No, don't you fear

♪ I'll be ready

♪ Forever and always

♪ I'm always here

♪ 'Cause I'm always ready

♪ I won't let you
out of my sight ♪

♪ I'll be ready

♪ I'll be ready

♪ Never you fear

♪ No, don't you fear

♪ I'll be ready

♪ Forever and always

♪ I'm always here

[Rock music]

[Yelling]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Motor revs]

-[Screams]

Help!

[Tense music]

-All right, hold on.

Hold on to that.

Put your arms around it.

-So what's her name?

Eddie: who?

-Your date for tonight.

-Carol.

-Is she new?

-New? What you mean?

-Has craig or gina, or any
of the g*ng met her yet?

-No.

-Same with andy. Except for you.

Eddie: who's andy?

-[Moans]

What are you doing?

-Andy, andrew garrison.

You took me to ollie's,
and we danced all night.

-I can't place the face.

-In the parking lot.

You turned blue
when you saw his '68 vette.

-No.

-He lives in the marina.
He goes to law school.

Big blue eyes. He's 6'3".

-Hey, that guy
was no more than 6'.

-So you do remember him.

-Uh...

Vaguely.

-Hey, listen, I was thinking.

-What?

-Since it's his first time
meeting everybody,

Maybe you could talk to him.

You know, make him feel
more comfortable.

Would you do that for me?

What? What?

-[Grunts]

This is gonna be
some honeymoon, huh?

You'll get your husband back.

You'll be good as new tomorrow.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Indistinct chatter]

-Gina?

Excuse me, just a sec.
Excuse me.

-There's something wrong
with these chicken balls.

-What?

-They don't taste like chicken.

-Jill. Jill.

Do me a favor.
Would you taste one of these?

-Sure, which one?

-This.

-It's good.

-Yeah, but what is it?

-Veal?

-See?

-Stop it. Don't tickle me.

-I can't help it, i--
I have to touch you.

It's like an addiction.

-Yes.

Hey, buddy. For you.

-Oh, great, thanks.
That's great.

Hey, try one of these for me,
will you?

-Oh, would you please stop
with this taste testing thing?

Hi, you look nice.

-Thanks.

-Where's your date?

-Sore throat, you know?

Under the weather.
102 Temperature. Awful.

What is this? Cheese?

-You see?

-Oh... Wait, sore throat?

102 Temperature?
Under the weather? Awful.

-I'm sure
that was going around.

You know, I wasn't sure
I was gonna make it.

Hey!

Excuse me.

-Is this the liver?

-Does it taste like a liver?

-No, it tastes like a chicken.

-What's up?

If you stare
at that clock any harder,

You're gonna make it stop.

-I wish I could.

Jenny's gonna show up
any minute.

-I thought you liked jenny.

-In small doses.

-Come on, is this
the same hobie buchannon

Who just last week was
saying jenny was great,

That she wasn't
like a girl at all?

-Yeah, dad, but that was before
she glued herself to me.

-She likes you.

She wants to spend time
with you.

[Doorbell rings]

See? There she is now.

-I can't even ride my bike

To junior lifeguards
alone anymore.

I mean, a guy needs time
to himself, you know?

Gee.

For a moment I thought I'd be
going to headquarters alone.

-Are you joking?
Who would you race with?

-Who's racing?

-Don't tell me you want more
than a ten-second head start.

-Have a safe ride.

Shauni: party was pretty good,
wasn't it?

-Yeah, it was great.

-So then
why did you leave early?

-Why do you care?

-Maybe because I asked you
to do me a favor

And make andy feel at ease.

And instead, you did
just the opposite.

-Opposite? What did I do?

Let me see,
where should I start?

You made fun of his clothes,
his hair, the way he laughs--

-Hey, wait a minute.
I wasn't making fun of him.

I was just trying
to make him feel

Like he was one of the guys.

-By spraying him
with a beer can?

-That was an accident.

-Oh... Accident?

-Yes, an accident.

-You're serious?

-Absolutely.

I wouldn't do anything
to embarrass you.

-Well, thank you, 'cause I have
to admit I did think the worst.

So...

Tell me what you think
about andy.

-Can we talk
about something else, please?

-Yeah, but why?

-Because I'm...

Sick of "andy" this,
"andy" that, that's why.

I don't wanna talk
about your love life.

-I thought we were friends.

I thought at the very least
you'd be curious.

-I'm not. At all.

-Well, I am. I wanna know
what you think about andy.

So maybe we're not friends
at all, eddie.

Maybe I'm just some lifeguard
of the opposite sex

Who you share a shower with.

-We're friends.

Okay?

-Well, then be honest with me.

Tell me what you think
about andy.

-He's a jerk, shauni.

An arrogant bonehead
and a patronizing stooge.

That's what I think, okay?

-Well, who asked you?

[Indistinct chatter]

Craig: congratulations.

-For what?

-For graduating rookie school.

Mitch said you were
top of the class.

-Oh, yeah, thanks.

It's a big honor
being a county lifeguard.

I get to wear red trunks,
carry a rescue can.

Don't know how I got along
without them.

-There's nothing like
the enthusiasm of a rookie.

[Boat horn sounds]

[Laughing]

[Boat horn sounds]

-Tom logan.

Name of the guy
that owns the boat.

He's been hanging
around the club

The last couple of days,
drumming up business.

-That's a business?

-Catered parties.

Boozy, breezy. Mostly boozy.

They're supposed to be
a lot of fun.

-That kind of fun we don't need.

Sooner or later, we're
gonna be pulling passengers

Out of the water.

I already have.

Day before yesterday.
A wedding party.

The bride took a header
off the stern.

They didn't even miss her.

-What happened to her?

-Oh, I swam her to shore.

Wedding's off.

We've got a date next week.

-You talked to logan?

-What about?

-The lifeguard stuff, you know.

Alcoholic consumption,
endangering passengers,

That kind of thing.

-Well, I didn't want to overstep
my mark, you know.

After all, I'm just an
enthusiastic rookie, aren't i?

[Pounding]

-How's it going?

-It'd be a lot better
if I knew what I was doing.

-Then why don't you stop? Let
the landlord take care of it.

-No, I said I'd fix it
and I will.

[Moans]

Hand me the screwdriver,
would you?

-Uh-huh.

-Thank you.

-If you fail
your civil law test,

Don't go pointing
your finger at me.

-What? You're afraid
I'm gonna tell my dad

I'm suffering
due to your bad influence?

-I wouldn't put it past you.

-Dad will love you.

-What about mom?

[Thuds]

-[Sighs]

Mom's a lost cause.

She'll take one look
at your hair and your curves,

She'll pull me aside

And say you're not
garrison material.

-Oh, that's comforting.

-No, it doesn't matter
what she thinks,

Just as long as I like your hair
and your curves.

-Would you stop it?

I still have two chapters
to summarize.

-Hey, if I can take time
out of my busy schedule

To fix your sink--

-Mr. Garrison.

-Oh, I like the sound of that.

-Ow!

-Kiss me.

-Andy, let me finish.
What are you doing?

-I want that kiss now.

[Ominous music]

-Let go of me.

-Kiss me, and I'll let go.

-Let go first.

[Screams]

-[Clears his throat]

I'll buy you a new one.

Shauni, I'm sorry.

I am, I was only playing around.

You have a blackboard handy?

I'll write "andy's sorry"
a hundred times.

How about--how about
"andy loves shauni"

A thousand times?

Did you really think I was going
to take "no" for an answer?

[Ominous music]

[Boat horn sounds]

-Afternoon.

I'm looking for tom logan.

-I'm seeing a lot of guys
in red trunks these days.

-I'm craig pomeroy.

I hear one of those guys
in red trunks

Swam out to your boat
a few days ago.

-Yeah.

Kinda busted up a wedding.

The groom's still
looking for him.

-The bride almost drowned.

-She jumped overboard.
What am I supposed to do?

-You know, I know you want
your cruises to be fun,

But you'd sure make
our lives a lot easier

If you'd keep the drinking down.

Take it easy out there.

-Take it easy?

Look, my customers
call the sh*ts, pal.

They expect this
baby to be humming

From the time they get on
to the time they get off.

-It's a good way
to wreck an engine.

-Wait.

You got jurisdiction over
a watercraft on the open sea?

-No.

-Great, because me
and my little party boat

Are gonna be raising
some hell tomorrow.

And the day after that,
and the day after that.

You see, I got a reputation
to maintain.

-So do i.

So I guess
I'll see you tomorrow.

And the day after that,

And the day after that.

-Whatever.

-Hey, eddie,
have you seen hobie anywhere?

We're supposed to go fishing.

-I haven't seen him.

-Well, if you do--

-I'll let him know
you're looking for him.

-Thanks.

-Okay, kiddo.

-I need privacy here.

-I need my trunks.
Hobie, what are you doing?

-Oh, jenny?

-She's always trying to hug me
or hold my hand.

Yesterday she even tried to
get me to play spin the bottle.

-Sounds good to me.

-She's driving me crazy.
What am I gonna do?

-Well, if you're really
that unhappy--

-I am.

-You'd better tell her.

-But that would hurt
her feelings.

-Hey, there's no avoiding that,
believe me.

Listen, hobe,
better the clean, sharp snap

Than the long, slow bend, man.

-There you are.

I've got the bait
and everything.

-See that curtain?
Men on this side only.

-Don't you wanna go fishing?

-No.

I can't. I mean...

I've got some stuff to do
around the house.

-You want some help?

-No.

-Well, I'll see you.

-See you.

-Bye.

Going for the long, slow bend,
huh?

-Sid, he must have called.
Think.

Are you sure that you haven't
left the switchboard

Since last time I phoned in?

Well, maybe someone else
took the call.

Okay, okay, if andrew calls,
tell him that i--

He hung up on me.

-What do you expect? You've
been badgering him all morning.

What's the big panic about?

-We had an argument last night.

It's so weird. I hate to fight.

It seems that we do
more and more of it.

-Any better off
after the fight's over?

-You mean, besides getting
better at making up?

-So what was the fight about?

Politics, religion?

Or was it something
really important,

Like he didn't want pepperoni
on your pizza.

-No, we fought
about lifeguarding.

-You're kidding.

-Nope.

He thinks I spend all my
time caring about strangers

And not enough time
caring about him.

You know,
with law school and all,

He's under a lot of pressure.

Sid, did i--

I'm gonna take a patrol.

-What do you want me
to tell andrew if he calls?

-Tell him I called,
I cared, and I left.

-I went through
the old incident reports.

Tom logan's name was all over
them a few years ago.

He was running
this parasailing operation

Behind a powerboat,
didn't know what he was doing.

-And we spent the month of june
rescuing his customers.

I remember that guy.

-That's him.

-I thought the county
put him out of business.

-Time to do it again.

-How?

I mean, he's right.
We don't have jurisdiction.

-Give me a rescue boat.

-You gonna ram him and sink him?

-No, I'm gonna lie in wait.

He's bound to do something
stupid, I'll be there to see it

And report it.

-You might think about doing a
little shore patrol, you know?

While you're out there.
Justify the boat.

-Details, details.

-Who you're gonna take with you?

-You.

-Me?

-Yeah, spend you mornings
here, your afternoons out there.

Blue skies, open seas,
no ringing phones,

No captain thorpe.

-Well, what about the staff?
I mean...

I just can't abandon them.

-Anybody care if mitch spends
afternoons on patrol?

Pick you up at 12:30.

-I'll be ready.

-Good.

-Thanks.

[Indistinct chatter]

[Rock music playing]

Shauni: you didn't call all day.

Why is it every time
you do something rotten,

You automatically think flowers
are gonna make it better?

-You'd prefer wood carvings?

-Don't make fun of me.

-Okay, no jokes.

We'll grab some dinner,

We'll get cozy

And for dessert,
I will give you a massage

That is guaranteed to relieve
all forms of stress.

Job-related or otherwise.

-It sounds good.

But not tonight.

-Come on, shauni.

-You didn't call,
and I made plans.

I'm not canceling, okay?

-With jill, right?

-Right.

-So she won't care.

-Just because you're insensitive
with my feelings

Does not mean
I'm gonna treat jill that way.

-Message received,
loud and clear.

I don't wanna fight
and I don't wanna play games.

But I do wanna be with you
tonight.

-Andy, I am not
canceling on jill

Just because you want me to.

-You wanna bet? Get in.

-What are you doing?

Stop it.

[Ominous music]

[Ominous music intensifies]

-Shauni, it's eddie.

Shauni: go away.

-No can do.

[Chuckles]

Hey, come on, shauni.
I wanna talk to you.

Shauni: I don't feel good,
eddie.

Would you please just go away?

-Look, I really wanna apologize,

But I don't wanna do it
to a door, all right?

Shauni: thanks,eddie.
Could we just talk tomorrow?

-Yeah, sure.

Look, I brought your mail
and I'll just set it

Outside your door.

[Envelops drop]

[Door unlatches]

[Suspenseful music]

[Sensual music playing]

[Screaming]

-Hey!

-Shauni...

Did you hit him?

-No.

-thr*aten him with a knife?

-No, it wasn't like that.

-What then?

Did you make fun of his mother?

-[Chuckles]

It was a fight, eddie.

I said things, he said things.
It went back and forth.

I'm not an angel in all this.
I have some responsibility too.

-Where I come from, there are
only two kinds of guys

Who hit women, creeps who drink
and just plain old creeps.

Which one is he?

-It could've happened
to anybody.

-You're not just anybody.

[Knocking on door]

-Who is it?

Andrew: it's me.

-No, eddie.

-I don't get it.

Just because you wanna
let him off the hook

Doesn't mean I have to.

-Just let me handle it, okay?

-Shauni, come on.

-Just let me do it.

-I was, uh, driving

And driving.

I ran out of gas
somewhere around palm springs.

That's when I started walking.

And walking.

I think I might have even
started crawling for a while.

But all I could see was--

Was your face
in the oncoming headlights.

Hear your voice
in the truck horns.

Think about what I was gonna say
when I finally saw you again.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry down to my toes.

[Suspenseful music]

-Shauni.

This snake crawls
up with some stupid story

With lights and voices,
and you buy it?

-Eddie, listen--

-Are you crazy?

-I want you to go.

-You know, I think
you're special.

I guess I was wrong.

You are just anybody.

You're some dumb,

Blonde bimbo.

-[Sighs]

[Suspenseful music]

[Thwacking noise]

[Thwacking noise continues]

-Oh, man.

Craig: eddie.

-What?

-What's wrong?

And don't say nothing's wrong,
because I'm already punchy

From hearing you pound
that bag for the last hour.

-Women. Go figure.

-If we're gonna talk about your
love life I think we should sit.

-It's shauni.

And this andrew garrison
the third, fourth, fifth,

Whatever the hell his name is.

He hit her.

-Is she all right?

-You know what she about it?
She kisses him.

-Oh, man.

-You believe that?
Right in front of me,

She kisses him,
and then she hugs him.

-That makes you mad.

-Mad?

First I saw her face
and I saw his face.

And I saw red. Red.

-But it's their problem.
You can't do anything about it.

-So it's their problem.

What? Iwalk away?

Everybody walks away, huh?

Look, I know about fighting.

And the first punch,
that's instinct.

The second punch, no.

It's something else.

It could happen again, craig.

-The chances are
it probably will.

But you can't get in the middle
of their relationship, eddie.

You're not licensed
as a referee.

All you can do is, what?
Is to be there as a friend.

And hope that she starts
loving herself

As much as you love her.

-What are you talking about?

-Lawyer's hunch.

-Hobie! Hobie!

Hi.

You don't look
too happy to see me.

-Jenny, we have to talk
about our relationship.

-Our what?

-It's just that--

I don't think we should see
each other anymore.

-Why not?

-I need some time to myself.

-I don't understand.

It's not like we're going
steady or anything.

Maybe if we just take
today off--

-No!

I don't want you coming
by my house anymore, okay?

I need some time to myself.
I need space.

-Yeah, all right. I got it.

[Upbeat music playing]

[Indistinct chatter]

[Laughing]

-Excuse me.

-You know, we really gotta try
to get a head count

To see how many passengers
actually make it ashore.

-Hey, my escorts.

You know, if you guys really
want to be helpful,

You'll come replace
this oil line of mine.

-No, thanks.

Oil line's all yours
as long as you're in business.

-Look, beach boy,
I'm completely legit.

And, you know, I'm not losing
a minute of sleep

Because you don't like
what I'm doing.

-Well, it's not just us.
The police don't like it either.

-Police?
Come on, give me a break.

-When people stagger to
their cars after getting drunk

On your boat, who do you think
is responsible?

-See you.

-Yeah.

-Hi.

I'm sorry.

For a lot of things,

Especially yesterday.

-It hurt.

-I know.

-A lot.

-It wasn't right.

-You really embarrassed me.

-No.

I embarrassed me.

Look, shauni, uh--

I don't like saying
"I'm sorry," so...

I won't do it again, okay?

I'll see you tomorrow.

-I know how it looked.

The bruises and the tears.

But it wasn't that bad.

It really wasn't.

-I'm sure he's a swell guy.

-He is, eddie.
I know you'd like him.

You two could get
to be best friends.

I mean, you have almost
the same exact taste in music.

-Don't.

Shauni.

I said I was sorry
and I meant it,

But I'm really not in the mood
to talk about your boyfriend.

See you tomorrow, okay?

[Soft music]

[Crickets chirping]

-Still staring
at the ceiling, huh?

-[Sighs]

I feel sick to my stomach.

-Oh.

Why do I get the feeling

This has got something to do
with girls?

-I don't understand it.

If I got what I wanted,
how come I feel so sad?

-Hey, if you weren't hurt a
little bit too, I'd be worried.

-It hurts a lot.

It went by so fast.

I mean, sometimes
you gotta be selfish, right?

-Sometimes you gotta be selfish,
you're right.

You're not alone.

You know, relationships
have their ups and downs.

-Then I guess I'm not ready
for them yet,

Especially with girls.

-[Chuckles]

I wish I could go through
this one for you.

But I can't.

Relationships are tough,
and they only get worse.

-Great. Thanks
for cheering me up, dad.

-You wanna feel better,
you go talk to jenny,

Straighten things out,
end it on the upswing.

You sure you wouldn't
rather watch tv?

-No, the ceiling is just fine.

-Okay.

[Sighs]

[Phone ringing]

-Hello?

Shauni?

All right, shauni, just--

Calm down, I can't understand
a word you're saying.

I'll be right there.
Ten minutes. Stay cool.

All right.

[Suspenseful music]

[Birds singing]

-Hey, jenny.

Wait up.

-Why?

So you can tell me that you're
tired of seeing me

In junior lifeguards?

-No.

I wanna say I'm... Sorry.

-Yeah, so you're sorry.

It's not that easy.

-Do you hate me?

-You haven't exactly scored
many points.

-I hope
you don't hate me forever.

-Yeah, forever.

But it is gonna take some time
before I can forgive you.

-Hey, jenny. My brother's
waiting in the car. Let's go.

-Where are you guys going?

-Ballgame. Later, hobie.

[Sad music]

[Door opens]

-Andy.

[Clears her throat]

-Every time I come by
to apologize,

I keep running
into the same people.

-If you need me,
I'll be in the hall.

[Door closes]

-What the heck, you needed
a new set of dishes, anyway.

I'm just the guy
to get them, right?

Right?

-Don't.

-Shauni, let me hold you,
please.

-No.

-Okay, no touching.

How about shopping?

Let's go buy you a new lamp
and stuff.

-No, new stuff isn't gonna help.

-But it's a good place
to start, isn't it?

You wanna hear me say how
embarrassed I am

For what I did to you?
Is that what you want?

-Yes, I do.

But you've apologized before.

Andrew: shauni, you know
what's been going on.

You know the kind of hassles
I'm having at home.

School's a joke.
My professor's all over me.

-And after this course,
after this professor,

There's another one.

-Come on, shauni.

-No, it's true.

Other papers, other exams,
law boards,

More hassles, more pressures,
and more excuses.

-Shauni,

I love you.

I want us to work.

I'll do anything.

Anything.

-[Sighs]

It can't happen again.

-It won't.

[Suspenseful music]

-No.

I'm sorry,
I can't let this happen.

-You can't stop it.

-It's over, andrew.

-Over.

Don't say that.
It can't be over.

It's that guy who was here,
isn't it?

That's what it is.

-It's you. And it's me.

And it's the way
we are together.

And it's never
gonna get better, never.

Goodbye, andrew.

[Suspenseful music]

-Go to hell.

[Suspenseful music]

Shauni: [cries]

[Rock music playing]

Craig: you realize
logan's got that boat

Working seven days a week?

[Whistling]

[Indistinct chatter]

-Hey.

Can't this piece of junk
go any faster?

-Piece of junk?

-We paid for excitement, man.
This is for old ladies.

-All right, you want it faster?

You got faster.

[Motor revs]

[Whistling and cheering]

-Right, man.
That's more like it.

-He's at it again.

[Cheering]

[Tense music]

[Cheering]

-Hey, hey, we're on fire, man.

[Alarm goes off]

-Can't steer it.

-What's the matter, man?
What's the matter?

-I don't know,
the controls are jammed.

-K-m-f two-nine-five,
this is rescue baywatch.

We've got a powerboat
out of control

Heading toward the jetty
near tower seven.

Request backup now.

Logan: nothing's working.

[Screaming]

-Come on, man, make it work!

-Get off.

[Tense music]

It's jammed.

Can't stop it. Move.

Come on!

What's going on?

-[Screams]

-Coming out.

-What's going on?

Come on!

-Get me up there.

[Tense music]

[Alarm blaring]

[Alarm blaring]

Logan: no!

[Birds singing]

-[Coughs]

Man: way to go, man, thanks.

[Siren blaring in the distance]

-Maybe we won't have
to follow you around anymore.

[Siren blaring]

-Morning.

-Hi.

You left yesterday.

I looked in the hallway,
and you were gone.

I just didn't feel right
staying.

-You didn't call.

-I just figured
you wanted to be by yourself.

-I spent a lot of time thinking.

-Breaking up is hard to do.

-Not about andrew.

About you.

-Me?

-Yeah.

I never would have made it
through this without you.

You're a good friend.

You're cute too.

-[Chuckles]

"Cute."

I really hate that word.

Synonyms are okay.

[Ending theme plays]