07x21 - Aunt Bee's Restaurant

[bunniefuu]

Where do you figure
to eat lunch, Andy?

Oh, I hadn't given it
much thought.

The diner?

Too late for the diner...
They'll be running out

of the special
and trying to stretch it.

Like, if the special's
roast Turkey,

they'll give you just
a couple of thin slices

and prop it up with
a big mound of dressing.

It's all covered,
so you really don't know

where you stand 'til
you actually cut into it.

You want to kind of
help me?

Well, let's see..
How about

the counter
at the drugstore?

Well, that's a thought.

Something to look
forward to.

Goob, you make a big thing
out of eating, don't you?

Well, after all, Andy,
I work hard all day.

Now, what's the average
fella got to look forward to?

Eating, bowling, girls.

Well, my bowling's
been way off,

I ain't had
no dates lately,

so all that's left, see?

Oh, hello, Andy.

I'm doing my marketing
and I was just wondering

what would you like
for supper?

We're still trying
to figure out

what to do about lunch.

You know what I was thinking
of having, just for a change?

I'd stop by the spare rib tavern
and bring some home.

Oh, it's too late
for that, aunt bee.

That place closed up
yesterday.

No!

Mr. Hendricks couldn't
seem to make it.

Oh, what a shame.
And he was such a nice man.

I guess this just isn't
a spare-rib town.

The restaurant business
can be so treacherous.

Yeah.

Well, I'll think
of something. Goodbye.

Bye, aunt bee.

Well, what do you want
to do about lunch?

I wished aunt bee
hadn't come in here.

Why?

Now, I feel like
spare ribs.

Hello, Charlie.

Oh, miss Taylor.

Is Mr. Hendricks here?

I've come
to extend my sympathies.

No, he in mt. Pilot...

Try to sell tables
and fixtures.

Oh...

Well, all this

is no reflection
on you, Charlie.

You're an excellent chef.

Medium. Medium.

Spare ribs
kind of tricky.

What are you going
to do now, Charlie?

Go back to Pittsburgh.

Wong soo's canton palace.

Always get a job there.

That's what they should have
opened here in Mayberry...

Chinese restaurant.

Big smash.
Gold mine.

Well, that's very interesting,
Charlie.

Why don't you open up one here
right in this very spot?

I assume you know how to cook
Chinese dishes.

Are you kidding?

Ever since I was .

Chop suey, chow mein,
egg rolls... all that jazz.

The problem is money.

Take a lot of money

to fix up
the place.

Chinese lanterns,
Chinese screens

Chinese soup bowls
and those crazy little spoons.

Ah, but everything cost money.

Why don't you try
and find a partner?

You have the know-how,
and he can put up the money.

Sure, sure.

Where do I find a partner?

Not a chance.

Pittsburgh, here I come.

Well, I'll make it a point
to ask about.

You won't be leaving
for a few days.

Friday.

Well, I'll let you know

if I hear of anyone.

Miss Taylor,
you are a very kind lady.

No.

Oh, look!

Somebody dropped a penny.

You keep it.

That makes this
your lucky day.

Yes.

Yes, it does, doesn't it?

Charlie, how much money

do you think a partner
would have to have?

Uh... about, uh,
bucks, I think.

Charlie?

Yes, miss Taylor?

Don't buy your ticket
for Pittsburgh just yet.

* Chinatown, my Chinatown

* when the lights are low...

I always loved that song.

Mmm.

Andy, have you ever thought

how few times in one's life
opportunity knocks?

I didn't think about it
too much today.

Everybody likes good,
wholesome food, don't they?

Uh...

I would say, uh...

I-I would say yes.

With soy sauce?

I get the feeling

you're going
to tell me something,

but you're going
to let me have it

in dribs and drabs

so why don't you
just give it to me all at once?

Andy, I'm going into
the Chinese restaurant business.

What?

They can be a gold mine.

They can be a smash.

Now, now, now,
here's what we do.

Let's go back
to the dribs and drabs

and you kind of
let me have it gradually.

Well, Charlie Lee
over at the tavern

said this is a very good place
for a Chinese restaurant

and all he needs is $
to fix that place up

and he needs
a partner with money

and I'm going in with him.

Now, let's hold it
right here, right here.

What makes you think
you know anything

about running
a restaurant?

Well, I feed a family,
don't I?

It'd be like having
a whole lot of company.

But we don't feed our company
subgum and stuff like that.

Well, that's Charlie's
department.

He learned to cook Chinese
dishes in Pittsburgh.

Where else
would he learn it?

Besides putting up the $ ,
how deeply are you

going to be involved
in this?

Well, I'd expect to play hostess
and oversee things, generally.

Of course, I'll have time
to take care of the house

and give you and Opie
your meals.

I see, I see, I see.

Yeah,
I see, I see.

Um, uh, I, uh...

I-I take it
that you want my advice.

Oh, I do, I do, Andy.

That's why I brought it up
before I put my money into it.

I want to hear everything
you have to say.

Good idea,
good idea.

Now, I think...

Oh, that's ridiculous!

Why shouldn't a woman
go into business?

I'm just as capable
as the average woman.

I thought
you wanted my opinion.

I do, I do.

So why don't you
express yourself?

I'll try.

It is my feeling...

Oh, that's ridiculous!

A typical male attitude!

Only a man has a
head for business.

And it's always the woman
who manages the budget...

I just thought I'd
drop these reports off...

Oh, good.

Come in.

I want to ask you something.

What do you think
of a Chinese restaurant

here in Mayberry?

What do I think of
a Chinese restaurant...

Right here.
A Chinese restaurant.

Well, personally, I've
always been partial

to oriental cuisine.

I'm especially fond

of those little
water chestnuts

that are so much a part
of their main dishes.

But do you think
a Chinese restaurant

could be
a success here?

Well, who was
it that said

"darn clever of
those Chinese"?

I don't know.
It might go.

I'm considering
opening one with Charlie

at the tavern.

Oh, you don't say?

The east and
the west, huh?

Well, maybe it's
time the twain met.

I can't thank you enough
for your help.

Well, I think
Howard's observations

were very well put.

I-I know I'm going
uphill from here,

but what
makes you think

you and Charlie
can make a go of it?

Well, for one thing

Charlie thinks
it'll be successful

and for another, on my
way out, I found a penny.

Oh.

Jack help you with those
as soon as he gets here.

Do you think he's going
to make a good waiter?

If he doesn't,
we fire him

even though
he's my nephew.

A college student...

He wants to earn some money.

We'll see.

Say, miss Taylor,
when you check the bills

the noodle order
is two cartons short.

Oh, well, I'll call
the noodle people later.

Yeah, tell 'em
they're off their noodle!

How did the printers
make out with the menus?

I'm checking them now.

He spell some things wrong,
but nobody know the difference.

I'm not so sure.

It's nothing!

Uh, li chi chi...
That means chicken.

He left out one chi.

So what, you know what I mean?

Mm-hmm. I suppose so.

Hi!

Jack, good
to see you, paisan!

You're looking sharp,
man, sharp!

Hey, great, uncle!

Oh, miss Taylor,
uh, this is our waiter.

How do you do,
miss Taylor?

Oh, how do you do?

You're going to
wait on tables?

Yes, if it's all right
with you.

Well, yes, it's just that you
don't look the waiter-ish type.

Oh, he's not.

He goes to the university
of north Carolina.

Oh!

Yes, I'm taking
my master's in psychology

and I still have to
support myself.

I'm between
semesters now.

Well, I understand,
it's just that

you're so very American,
I wondered, are you going to be

in keeping with the lanterns
and everything?

Oh, I don't think that'll
be a problem, miss Taylor.

I can go more oriental,
if that'll help.

He can do anything.

You're phi beta kappa,
aren't you, Jack?

Well, yeah.

Oh, well, then,
everything will be all right.

Fine. Now,
where do I start?

Those Chinese prints...
Start hanging those.

Okay.

Miss Taylor,

you're bringing a breath
of China to Mayberry!

Oh, thank you.

Oh, Charlie,
do you think

we'll be ready to
open tomorrow night?

No problems.

Do you think we're
going to be successful?

You found a penny,
didn't you?

Yes, I did.

Well, no better guarantee
than that.

I'm going to frame it

and put it by
the cash register.

Good. Then we don't take
any chances.

Good evening!

Oh, I'm so glad you
could come for the opening.

Would you follow this way?

Sheriff, your aunt's
got a steady customer.

I don't get moo goo gai pan
like that at home.

Oh, he didn't even know
what it was until tonight.

But I'll agree.
It was delicious.

I'll tell her.

All right.

This looks good
here in column...

Was everything
all right, Emma?

Oh, just
perfect, bee!

Well, that'll be $ . .

Not too much,
is it?

Oh! For what we ate?

That's a bargain!

Here we go.

What are you going
to have, Helen?

I don't know yet.

Everything looks
so intriguing.

I think for the main course,
I'm going to have the chicken.

That's, uh, down here.

Ling chi chi.

Oh, they left
a "chi" off.

You're really an expert on this,
ain't you, Howard?

Well...

I think I'll stick
with the chow mein dinner.

The $ . or the $ . ?

Oh, I'm going all out.
Huh, Helen?

Me, too.

Fine.

Are you ready to order?

Yeah.
Uh, Jack, isn't it?

Right.

We'll have two of the $ .
chow mein dinners.

And Howard, you said
you wanted the chicken?

Right. Oh, and, uh...

What's this
up here at the top?

I can't quite make it out.

Oh, that's daofa ton.

It's a kind of a Chinese
matzo ball soup.

Oh. Well, I'll have
some of that, too.

You're on, goob.

I'll have
the $ . chow mein dinner.

I'm buying.

$ . .

I'll put your order in.

Well, the place sure
is jumping, isn't it?

Mm-hmm. If this
is any indication

I'm sure it's going
to be a success.

Aunt bee certainly has
fixed it up attractively

with all the lanterns
and screens and everything.

Yeah, if you didn't
know where you were

you'd think you was right
in the heart of Tokyo.

Or near there, anyway.

Yeah.

Well, did Jack
get your order?

Oh, yes.
We were just saying

it looks like you got
a winner here.

I got to admit
I was wrong.

They're very enthusiastic
about the food.

Charlie's doing a wonderful job
in the kitchen.

Aunt bee, can't you
sit down for a minute?

You're going
to be exhausted.

Oh, nothing of the sort.

You just enjoy
your meal.

Hey, do we get
them fortune cookies, too?

Oh, yeah,
with dessert.

I'm anxious to see what mine is.

Maybe it'll say I'm going
to be a millionaire.

They have very interesting
prognostications

in those things.

I get a big bang out of 'em.

Well, I know what aunt
bee's is going to say.

"You're gonna have a
successful restaurant." Huh?

Yeah. She got
a good one.

You mean you took in
over $ ?!

That's right.

That's miraculous.

Of course, this
is opening night.

I don't expect it'll
always come up to that.

Maybe not, but you're
off to a fine start.

If it only
keeps up.

Don't worry
about it.

You do half this
much business

in the middle
of the week

and then in
the weekend,

you'll make
a fortune.

It's just
marvelous.

Anyone get
dessert?

Golly!
I forgot!

I was so busy
rushing around.

Oh, Jack, you were
just wonderful.

Thank you.

Sit down,
Charlie.

You kidding, man?

I still got things
to do in the kitchen.

Everybody take
a fortune cookie.

There
we are.

What is it,
goob?

"You are going to meet
a tall, handsome stranger."

Sure you are!

Oh, me next.

Better not be any
tall, handsome strangers.

"Spend the day
with good friends."

Oh! Well, you did that.

Mine says, uh...

"Be considerate of others.

It will return manyfold."

Hey, that's darn good advice,
you know.

Yeah, it is.

"Try to avoid temptation
in the coming week."

Okay, I'll try.

Yeah, you do that, Andy.

These things very often
have a way of coming true.

Aunt bee, you haven't
opened yours yet.

Oh. Oh, yes.

What does it say?

Nothing.

Nothing. It...

It's just silly.

You're supposed
to read 'em out.

Would you
pardon me?

I have so many
things to do.

I thought I heard
somebody down here.

I was just
a little restless.

About what?

Oh, the excitement,
I guess.

You don't seem
very happy about it.

Oh...

"Beware of new
business ventures.

They can prove costly."

That's it.

I just had it in my pocket.

You don't believe in
these things, do you?

Oh, I was just
thinking about it.

It's very... amusing.

It I bothering you.

Well, not really.

It's just the Chinese
are very intelligent people.

Confucius didn't write
this thing.

The man that makes
the fortune cookies

probably has a brother-in-law
that wrote it.

I know, but sometimes
those things come true.

Even Howard said so.

I suppose you think
goober's going to meet

a tall, handsome stranger.

Well, it doesn't
make any difference

whether he does
or he doesn't.

He doesn't have $ invested.

Now, aunt bee,
I want you to pull yourself together

and forget about this.

Oh, Andy, that's
an awful lot of money

and it says, "beware of new
business ventures."

I know. I know.

Oh, dear. Something's
going to go wrong

and I'm going
to lose my money.

I can just feel it.

Well, what could
possibly go wrong?

Well, they might
get tired of the food

or we might be robbed
or... an expl*si*n.

How do I know
what could go wrong?

I want to point
something out to you.

This whole restaurant
business came about

because of your
superstitions.

Oh, that's not true.

It's not? Well, you went
into it because of a penny

and now you're all
shook up about it

because of something you
saw in a fortune cookie.

Doesn't that prove
something to you?

Yes. It proves that you
can't trust a lucky penny.

I believe I'll have supper
there again Saturday night.

I'm taking mother Friday.

She'll enjoy that.

You know what I'm
going to try next time?

What?

That fried rice.

A couple plates of
that passed our table

and it looked real good.

The Chinese definitely
have a flair with rice.

You know, over there

it's almost like
the staff of life.

The what?

The staff of life.

They use rice like we use bread.

They do?

Yeah.

You mean, when they
make sandwiches, they...?

Oh, no. No.

I mean they use a lot of it.

Oh.

Did you know
the annual per capita

consumption of fish
in China...

Hey, hey, Howard.

Tall and handsome.

Hey.

I guess she wasn't the one.

Hi, Andy.

Hi.

What's going on, goob?

Well, the fortune
cookie said that...

Oh. Tall, handsome
stranger.

Yeah.

You want to try
to control yourself?

Right.

Hey, Andy, I guess aunt bee's
still up in the clouds, huh?

Yeah. You might
say that.

What's wrong?

Well, superstitious women
shouldn't be in business.

Shouldn't be.

I think we possibly
ought to add

more seasoning
to the chow mein.

But miss Taylor,
everybody liked it.

I know, but there's always
room for improvement.

How can I improve
what is perfect?

You know what I think?

I think we should
broaden our menu

to include steaks and chops
and maybe spaghetti.

Spaghetti?

Oh, you got
to be kidding.

Well, it might
attract more customers.

But we do fine now.

Oh, now, yes

but who knows about
tomorrow and the next day?

A new business venture
can be very dangerous

and, you know, Charlie,
I've invested $ .

I don't understand.

Last night everything
was peaches and cream.

Now we're ready
to file bankruptcy.

What happened?

Nothing. Nothing.

And you know what else
I was considering?

Lowering prices

in order
to make certain

of continuing
business.

I'm not
at all sure

these decorations
are right.

We might have to get
bigger lanterns.

That's the way
she's been

ever since she read
that fortune cookie.

Well, at least
that explains it.

Fortune cookie.

Ay-yah! This could
only happen in America.

Don't forget, Charlie.
We started all that.

Sure, we started
with paper dragons, too,

but come on.

Well, I'm sorry.

Look, I got to lay it
on the line, Andy.

With the kind of changes
miss Taylor is talking about

we'll be out of business
in two weeks.

The whole bit,
right down the drain.

That bad, huh?

She'll lose her money,
and it's Pittsburgh for me.

Andy, can't you convince her
that everything is fine...

That superstition
has no place in business?

I tried and I
got nowhere.

Hey, what about you?

My nephew,
the psychologist.

Oh, no, no...

Phi beta kappa.

She might
listen to you, Jack.

Yeah. You got
to pay attention

to a fellow who wears
a tie like that.

Superstition is
a part of psychology, isn't it?

Very definitely.

Well?

And psychology
is the...

Experimental and quantitative
study of human nature.

It's a biosocial
science.

Yeah.

I think we have
a winner here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ay-yah...

You see, miss Taylor,
what I'm trying to point out

is that psychology
actually does recognize

the existence
of superstitions,

fetishes and the like

but there is no
testamentary evidence

that they in any way
affect the normal flow

of events.

That's what I've
been trying to tell you.

Yes, I know what you mean...

That pennies and fortune cookies
don't mean anything.

Exactly.

Exactly.

And putting it
in layman's terms:

Man's interaction with
environmental conditions

as they become
more complex

furnish the fundamentals
of psychological inquiry.

See? Now, that-that's hitting
the-the nail right on the head.

Oh, Jack, I'm sure everything
you're saying is true,

but I just can't
control myself.

Well, of course. Of course.

That's a syndrome

that takes a great deal
of therapy to cope with.

You-you just
have to realize that.

Well, I can't cope
with anything.

Miss Taylor,
if you'll take my advice,

you'll get out of the business.

You're really not suited
for it... psychologically.

I've got $ invested.

Why don't you sell it?

Who'll buy it?

I will.

No, you won't.

Then I'll start
worrying about you.

What about you, Jack?

Oh, no, no, Andy.
I decided a long time ago

against going into business.

Well... thanks for
coming over, anyway.

That's okay.

I'll let myself out.

Now, you-you've got
to control yourself.

Still haven't found anybody
to buy her out, huh, Andy?

No. Not yet.

I'd buy her out
if I had the money.

Then I could eat there
free every night.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm going to have
fried rice Saturday night.

Good. Good.

Hello?

Yeah, Charlie.

No kidding?

Well... yeah. Great.

I'll get aunt bee
and come right over.

Right. Bye.

I got to go.

I might even try the shrimp.

Hello, Charlie.

Hey, Charlie...
So you found a buyer, huh?

Right.

Wonderful. Who?

Uh, big surprise.

Jack here going
to buy you out.

You, Jack?

That's right.

Jack and Charlie going to
get rich together.

Well, this is
a surprise.

It sure is.

Yesterday you said
you weren't interested.

Yes, but I sort of
mulled it over

and it just seemed like
a logical thing to do.

Made a lot of sense.

It seemed logical to me
yesterday.

Here's your check,
miss Taylor.

$ .

Thank you, Jack

and I know with you as a partner,
it's going to be a success.

Coming, Andy?

Uh, I'll meet you
at the house.

"This is your
lucky day."

Well... why fight it?

My, that was
a delicious lunch.

Wasn't it, though?

How does it feel,
to be a guest,

instead of an owner,
aunt bee?

Much more relaxing.

I'm glad to see the place
is doing so well.

Yes.
Jack seems happy.

I'm glad
his better judgment

convinced him
to invest.

Well, what a relief it is,
for me to sit here

and not have to worry
about how things are going.

Hmm.

Is everybody happy?

Yes.

I'll get your dessert
and fortune cookies.

No, not for me.

No dessert?

No fortune cookies.
Just ice cream.